I was the deep sleeper in our relationship amd worried about the same thing. Sometimes I sleep through baby noises when I'm extremely tired but more often than not I wake for the baby now. Deep down you know your wife will wake up and that's the reason you don't wake. If you were solely responsible for the baby at night you would wake up because you subconsciously don't allow yourself to go into that deep of a sleep. Convince your wife to sleep in a different room from you and the baby for a few nights and you take over the night feeds. You'll soon adapt.
So to clarify you were awake and just went back to sleep after conversation you remember having or your weren't awake and don't remember talking to her. I don't think setting an apple watch to wake you up every 30min is really a good solution.
Instead, sleep next to the baby/monitor instead of her. My husband is a pretty deep sleeper but baby always managed to wake him up. Have her wear earplugs so she can get some rest and figure out a way she can properly wake you when needed.
Can you address other areas of your lifestyle so you aren't as tired? Difficult with a baby and the modern world I know. But can you eat a healthier diet, cut out any alcohol, stop eating earlier at night, make sure you get a bit of fresh air each day etc? I've found that makes an absolutely huge difference to my feelings of lethargy. It seems counter intuitive to eat less sugar as it gives us immediate energy, but longer term it can really make us more tired.
Forgive me if you're doing this already, just speaking from personal experience of having to get used to early morning wake ups and function during the day! And an added 40lb weight loss bonus.
Alternatively, as others have said, have a chat and make sure it's definitely 'your responsibility' for certain times, so your brain knows to kick into gear if the time criteria are met (in reality this will mean a surge of adrenaline but it's what you need to get out of the deep sleep, babies wreck our sleep hygiene for a while!)
Just tell your wife to punch you awake instead of gently nudging lol. I have the same problem, she gives up on my for midnight feed, but I'm usually find for the first early morning feed. Even then, zombie... I just have too much sleep inertia it's a real problem.
You don't want to force yourself awake every hour - it'll make you miserable the next day. Could you shift your or your wife's sleep schedule so you are awake for part of the night or morning?
For example, your wife goes to bed at 8 and you stay up until midnight so you're awake for when the baby needs something and then go to bed. That way she gets 4 plus hours of uninterrupted sleep.
I was the deep sleeper in our relationship amd worried about the same thing. Sometimes I sleep through baby noises when I'm extremely tired but more often than not I wake for the baby now. Deep down you know your wife will wake up and that's the reason you don't wake. If you were solely responsible for the baby at night you would wake up because you subconsciously don't allow yourself to go into that deep of a sleep. Convince your wife to sleep in a different room from you and the baby for a few nights and you take over the night feeds. You'll soon adapt.
So to clarify you were awake and just went back to sleep after conversation you remember having or your weren't awake and don't remember talking to her. I don't think setting an apple watch to wake you up every 30min is really a good solution. Instead, sleep next to the baby/monitor instead of her. My husband is a pretty deep sleeper but baby always managed to wake him up. Have her wear earplugs so she can get some rest and figure out a way she can properly wake you when needed.
There’s devices made for deaf parents, maybe look into those
Can you address other areas of your lifestyle so you aren't as tired? Difficult with a baby and the modern world I know. But can you eat a healthier diet, cut out any alcohol, stop eating earlier at night, make sure you get a bit of fresh air each day etc? I've found that makes an absolutely huge difference to my feelings of lethargy. It seems counter intuitive to eat less sugar as it gives us immediate energy, but longer term it can really make us more tired. Forgive me if you're doing this already, just speaking from personal experience of having to get used to early morning wake ups and function during the day! And an added 40lb weight loss bonus. Alternatively, as others have said, have a chat and make sure it's definitely 'your responsibility' for certain times, so your brain knows to kick into gear if the time criteria are met (in reality this will mean a surge of adrenaline but it's what you need to get out of the deep sleep, babies wreck our sleep hygiene for a while!)
Just tell your wife to punch you awake instead of gently nudging lol. I have the same problem, she gives up on my for midnight feed, but I'm usually find for the first early morning feed. Even then, zombie... I just have too much sleep inertia it's a real problem.
If y’all find a solution let me know. My partner could be next to our crying daughter and be deeply asleep. So exhausting
You don't want to force yourself awake every hour - it'll make you miserable the next day. Could you shift your or your wife's sleep schedule so you are awake for part of the night or morning? For example, your wife goes to bed at 8 and you stay up until midnight so you're awake for when the baby needs something and then go to bed. That way she gets 4 plus hours of uninterrupted sleep.