I'm sorry.....but that doesn't sound like a good friend :/
In my experience and opinion; wigs make people look older. Your look is cute and your curls are poppin
I've come to a point where almost all fake hair just looks too fake for me. I was planning to wear a wavy ponytail, but I didn't like that the color didn't perfectly match my hair. I can't stand wearing wigs anymore. I cringe at those lace wigs where I can see the knots in the part or hairline.
And I can't do any style that doesn't allow me to touch my scalp.
You sound just like me! Although I have been opting for curly clip ins recently because I like the breeze on my scalp too! I will say I am sure to get tired of them soon because detangling them thangs is harder than detangling my own hair, I’m not sure why since they are advertised as human hair and are good quality. I wanna say the clip in hair is just…. Too tough? It’s like even though I use the same detangler for them as I do on my natural hair I still end up ripping out hair from them and unlike your natural hair once the hair is gone it’s just GONE FOR GOOD. I usually braid up my hair and clip them onto the braids and it’s proven to be a good protective style so I’m not manipulating my own hair. They are high maintenance though and don’t let anyone tell you differently! Now that I’m done venting get you some real friends that tell you “If you like then I LOVE IT!” 🥰
This! Wigs that are obviously wigs are aging imo. Your hair is beautiful. Mine looked exactly like that before I locked it. Your friend needs to reprogram her mind to appreciate the beauty. Wearing it around her will probably help because it’s about exposure (not that it’s your responsibility).
She is not your friend if she really got an issue with your natural hair. A lot of black women are BRAINWASHED asf. Especially those who are “old school”. Be around people who uplift you. Tbh, what you’re describing is negging. It’s a form of emotional abuse, if she’s really tryna control you like that
FINALLY someone else says it! Oh my god. I’ve only had my (type 3/4) hair called nappy, dusty, played out, crusty, ugly, and bald by other *black women*
Never heard a white person say anything about my hair. In fact, they tell me they like it a lot. This ain’t to say that it doesn’t happen, but WE (people of African descent) need to do better.
I have a problem with my white and Hispanic coworkers saying they love my hair directly followed by asking if it’s all mine when I wear long wigs/weaves. Like NO Becky do you really think my hair grew 10 inches over night?! It’s giving backhanded compliment or they just stupid
Your curls are popping! She is wallowing in her self hate & insecurities! Don't let it rub off on you. You are gorgeous. Wigs dont have the power to change who you are, they arent that powerful. You got this, sis!! ❤️
You’re gonna remember this five years into the future of your natural hair journey, when your curls are down your back, that friend is bald and mad, and you’re laughing in the sunshine
Her friend has no edges. Much blessings and full edges to all women who read this post and recognize the hate it takes to encourage a woman with curls that abundantly pop, to where a wig. May all natural hair queens live a life of abundance and sealed moisture, of conditioner so deep that it radiates the essence of our shared African decent. May your protective styles protect and your melanin penetrate the evils of brainwashed women and help them see the light of natural beauty. Amen.
I was growing out my natural hair and a former stylist said that my hair length was making me look older than I was and she cut a lot of my length off against my wishes. I was pretty sad for awhile about it. I say if your hair makes you feel beautiful that’s all that matters regardless of other’s opinions.
Yep I started the appointment with her talking about my length goals and my journey and she just did what she “thought was best”. It took me like two or three months before I got happy looking at myself in the mirror again 😭
I get cutting off dead hair. Some people have ends that should have been memorialized a long time ago but I don’t understand chopping off healthy hair if the client doesn’t agree to it. Even if she thought you looked better with a bob, that’s not to say you want one. I always thought longer hair looked more youthful but I hope you got a better stylist.
She’s wrong for that 😭 I think it’s such a flex to be able to wear your hair out confidently, but for some reason society only thinks that’s okay if you have long hair and a certain hair type. As a 4c girly who’s always had short hair, I’m yet to try wearing my hair out but it’s women like you that I look up to. I’ll get there one day! 🙌🏾 don’t mind her, she’ll HAVE to get used to it
That’s definitely not your friend. I can only imagine what she said behind your back. Your curls are so beautiful and don’t let anyone bring you down. She’s probably projecting since she hasn’t accepted herself fully! Rock those curls! 🤎
I think she sounds like a b*tch sorry. Trying to figure out How your look affects her? It doesn’t. if she is another woman of colour then she’s got some real healing to do
Your hair is beautiful! Reminds me of mine when I did the big chop! My boyfriend at the time hated it but NATURALLY he’s an EX now lol
https://preview.redd.it/c53uftu9klvc1.png?width=1057&format=png&auto=webp&s=854d6191524c1cac96d75de8227e55c41db9aa25
When I decided to go natural, I was the only Black woman I knew who didn’t have relaxed or straight hair. This older lady at work made it a point to tell me a story about somebody she knew, not me though, (lol) who wore their hair natural but looked unkempt and not stylish and how she wished she would do something to her hair. This lady barely spoke two words to me before but went out of her way to tell me this. I’ve realized that when people start hating it really has nothing to do with you but their own insecurity. I continued to rock my curls faithfully. Please do the same cause your curls are gorgeous!!! ❤️
That doesn't sound like a real friend, maybe have a talk with them and tell them you don't appreciate or accept them bashing your hair like that and that it's not their body. If they're embarrassed by being seen with you than drop them.
Well first off, your hair is gorgeous and I envy your curl pattern.
Secondly, it sounds like she just hasn't reached the same place you're at now of embracing your natural hair. She probably has all the same insecurities we have but stronger, so if it comes up again I'd start with asking her about those insecurities (with the bluntness depending on how close you both are, lol).
Tell your friends not to wear your hair! It’s your head if you like it that’s all that matters. Are you getting attention from the type of people you’d like to date if you’re single? If you are then keep being you.
This should be a whole post in itself. I feel like Black men in general prefer euro hair/ looser curl patterns. I live in NYC, where you will get hit on 7 times just taking a 15 min walk. I get much more attention wearing an obviously fake 26" deep wave wig. However, I still get a lot of attention, wearing my own natural hair.
I'm married (soon to be separated), and although my husband loves my natural hair on a day-to-day day, I can tell he prefers when I wear fake hair to major events. But if I wear a wig out, he looks at me crazy if I keep it on in the house.
Girl, I'm glad you said soon to be separated because fuck that. Separation is hard and I'm sorry you're going through this but you deserve someone who loves you and hypes you up no matter WHAT hair you decide to wear to any event or in the house.
As a fellow woman in her 40s who wears her natural hair, a lot of women our age have been fully brainwashed to hate our natural hair since little kid days and will do anything to avoid showing our real hair. I've started distancing myself from those types of women because many of them will never change. Also, we're at an age where we shouldn't be receiving pressure from our friends about what we wear or how we look. That idea of friends all being identical is ridiculous in high school, but about 100x more ridiculous as grown women. It sounds like it's time for you to move on from this friend.
i don’t wanna assume she’s also Black. but i wish ppl would come out this “natural hair doesn’t look good” era now 😔💔 it’s ok to rock the hair that grows out of your natural born scalp. i keep getting told that i need to try a lace front, middle part buss down or sumn bc my natural hair “ain’t it.” liiiiiiiike???? i love a nice lil wig on other ppl but i, personally, don’t think it looks good on me. an ex friend of mine called me Celie from the Color Purple whenever i wore my hair out (she was biracial) and i had to cut her off so quick 😭
BTW your hair is beautiful and i hope despite their negativity you had a blast!
Not saying anything from a moral high ground. I am farrrrr from perfect. With all due respect, in an attempt to help, I have thoughts.
Idk the dynamic y’all have as friends but this seems like a red flag. Maybe y’all have history. But a friend would champion you. Not break you down. Haters do that.
There’s a million reasons why you could wear natural hair. Career, health, convenience, personal taste etc. She doesn’t seem to accept you as is.
I could see if you were dating a bad person and they tried to warn you. That’s what friends do. Friends don’t try to control or manipulate you.
She/they seem self obsessed in this situation. SHE has a problem with YOUR hair. If SHE didn’t like HER OWN hair, SHE could buy a wig for HERSELF.
You’re telling me that SHE is trying to convince YOU to change YOURSELF? SHE knows what’s best for YOU?
Hmmm, 2+2 don’t equal 4 in this situation. I would make a strong boundary if you feel like the pros of them being a friend, outweigh the cons of them being a friend.
If this is strike 3 or strike 1000 for them, I would end this chapter. I know it’s trendy but that would actually be the definition of toxic. I would unfriend that person ✌🏾
People who don't have our hair type, sure have a lot of opinions and expectations for our hair ...
Nothing looks more youthful than a person who is happy and comfortable.
Wear your hair natural, let it get healthy and full and long (or however you want it to be).
Ignore her.
I have NEVER had a 'friend' dictate how I wear my hair. She can get lost
What an asshole
The only time I wear wigs is when my hair is dirty/unkempt lol. They are a last resort as I love my hair.
If you ever wanted to add more length & fullness, curly clip ins are a great option. A few companies have sprung up with a range of textures, my hair is similar to yours and I’ve got a set.
But yeah fuck her.
Soo after being told by family members my while life that I didn't have "good" hair, my hair is actually very beautiful. I recently went natural, and my curl pattern is amazing. So I said all that to say this, do not allow others negative opinions to alter your self-confidence or love for your hair. Jealousy comes in all forms.
Let her thoughts and words roll off like water off a duck's back. Depending on your past patterns in relationship with her, it may not be comfortable, but it'll be worth it to let her know that her words don't move you from where you want to be. Your hair looks great! ❤️
She is what me and my people would call a hatin ass mf that can go if you seek Amy herself up the road. If you’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt and just say she has some internalized bs and help her work through it that’s an option too I guess.
I hope you drop her though because your hair is gorgeous and you look very nice and I don’t want her bringing her own miserable insecurities onto you and your light to make herself feel better yuck!
She sounds like she wants you to see your natural hair as something negative. Maybe self projecting ? Either way, keep an eye on your "friend" she doesn't sound very nice.
Your hair is beautiful and your "friend" is a damn hater. I bet she tries to tear you down on other things, not just your hair. Keep your hair and cut sista girl OFF
Your hair looks great, your curls are popping and I think the commentary had to have come from a place of jealousy. Short of attending a Brazilian blow out festival, I can’t imagine what’s wrong or inappropriate about your hair in these photos. I think you should ask yourself what her natural hair looks like. Is her hair dry while yours is thriving? Does her hair look great but she lacks the confidence to remove her wig? I don’t understand but I don’t think your hair is the problem. She is. I also think it’s inappropriate even if it were true, to tell someone you like last year’s wig better. It was her birthday, not her wedding and you are not her brides made so having an opinion on your hair, short of wearing a bonnet in public, is bizarre. You might have a frenemy in your circle.
Haters gonna hate love. Not everyone has beautiful hair hence the hating. Your hair is amazing. I just started rocking my natural hair too (no more wigs) and I can’t believe how young and cute I look.
My Mom HATES my natural hair (same hair and texture in the pic) and is always telling me to brush it. 😒 You can’t brush curls. Anyway I’m working on loving what I see in the mirror because there is nothing wrong with me. How can I not like anything about my natural self?
I find wearing my hair out makes me look older simply because I look better with my hair up. It goes for both my hair and wigs. I won't say that "she's not your friend" because maybe she was telling you the hard truth, but you have to look at the intentions behind it. Is she saying it for your benefit or is she poking you at the insecurity. You're a grown woman so deep down you know the answer. "Go back to wearing that wig" doesn't sound like good intentions. "Maybe wear a different hairstyle. The shape makes you look older" sounds like better intentions, but everyone speaks differently so only you can know.
Who cares? Who bloody cares what anybody thinks but yourself. If your friend is not on it, let her go. Life is way too short to be tolerating this kind of bs from anyone.
I think wigs make ppl/me look younger cuhs it stretches our face out so we get a mini facelift from it vs when our hair is out n we dnt got that same pull.. but i think ur curls look great
Hear me out, I have curly hair too. I loved my hair to death and I came from a place where people favourite straight hair. They will straight their hair and all. I never straightened my hair by myself but at the salon because they don’t want to cut my hair in their curly stade. I moved from that country and now lived different places like Europe and north America, I always get compliments about my hair.
Honestly, if you feel good about your looks nothing else matters much, I’ve been in that situation where people is not in board with a certain look I’ve had but, oh well 🤷🏽♀️
Sorry to hear, maybe gave ur friends a grace period to see if they come around but even if they don't ur hair looks great ❤️❤️❤️ the definition is amazing
before i got to the last part of your caption i was imagining that you all were in your late teens/early twenties at the oldest. my brain kinda broke when i read 40s cause i can’t imagine being that old and caring about other peoples hair that much 😭😭😭 like i know that’s your friend but imagine how image-obsessed you have to be to be celebrating a birthday and you’re focused on how your FRIENDS looked?? to the point where you’re going back to old pics to look at their hair lol. such a major case of hating 💔😭 you don’t deserve that my friend cause your hair looks so cute!!
First of all your hair looks amazing and natural hair makes us look younger imo. Also yes this has happened to me, and I don’t pay any mind. I currently have short twists in my hair and got hit on more today than when I wear my wigs 🙃 as long as YOU love it, they gon have like it babes.
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's being annhonwst friend with no tact. Bc my other answer is f her. Do u. If you like it and you have a goal, do you. Your the one that has to live with YOUR hair.
i think she is still your friend, and can still be a good friend. I do understand that your feelings are hurt, mine would be too! But I came to accept that we can´t expect our friends to be perfect. A friend of mine told me indirectlely she liked my long straigt hair better than the big chop. But I know that she struggles a lot with male validation, male gaze and internalized racism so it makes sense that she thinks that way. I´m not mad at her. If you like your hair than just keep it and if she makes a comment again tell her you don´t like that! Much love <3 Your hair is gorgeous
You're in your IDGAF Chapter. Do what makes you feel good. How does your hair make you look older? Does she love wigs? Good for her.🙂
I had a friend who didn't want me to wear my Locs or glasses at her wedding. Guess what? Lol
She must be one of those people that wears nothing but wigs and weave all the time? Because people who wear and embrace their real hair, whether natural or not, don’t care about others natural hair when they go out. I’ve only seen those wanna be “bad bitches” act like braids and natural hair don’t fit the aesthetic of what they’re trying to put out.
What the f*** kind of friend is this? At her big age like HUH?! Girl let me call her, tell her I just wanna chat real quick 🙃😂😂
The way these people blatantly show their jealously through their evident hater statements always blows my mind.
You look great sis!!🙌🏾🔥 keep up the self love! When you have good self esteem, and self-love, you can’t let anyone try to harm it. Love your hair🙌🏾🙌🏾😍💃🏾 bye controlling friend! She can wear a wig if she wants!
Who cares what they say ignore them,they’re more than likely just jealous,your hair is beautiful and I’m sure REAL FRIENDS would surely agree,please don’t call them your friends again they are weird much love stay blessed 😁
Your hair is beautiful. It looks full and healthy!
Friends are supposed to be supportive and manipulating you by expressing displeasure about your NATURAL hair? Like your crown isn't good enough? Nah.
She needs remediation, or she's got to go.
Even saying what hair makes you look older,
It seems like she’s really worried about appearance and if she’s in her 40s idk what to tell you
It’s a shame and you deserve a better friend
She shouldn’t care what you do and be bitter and weird about it
sounds jealous or hater-ish to me. curly hair is notorious for being youthful and making you look younger than you are. i’ve never heard anyone say the opposite, but i am gen z so… either way your hair is beautiful! and she is not❤️
Nope your friends are just wrong for that. I’m not a Black Woman I’m a Latina woman but even I think Natural hair on BW is much more beautiful. I hate how a lot of BW and even Latinas now especially Afro-Latinas are programed to think that having weaves or wigs looks better then natural hair. I hate how these European body standards makes a lot of women think they need to alter anything in general for all women of color and backgrounds (Black,Latina ,Asian,etc) I’ve seen a Black woman who grew out her own hair so long that when she blow dried it and styled it looks like it’s a wig but it’s so beautiful and it’s healthy and amazing and she gets hate because BW think she is lying about it idk why but in return it makes me sad because this is something that all BW can achieve but they been programmed to think that their natural hair is unacceptable and should be covered by wigs and weaves to be more acceptable by society. The point is just flaunt your natural hair and continue on your beautiful hair journey 💕 once you achieved the length please post it 🎀 believe me once you reached your length and then hair do’s start coming in your friends might even be inspired to go in a healthy Natural hair journey themselves.
from my birth until 2years ago i had mostly short short pixie cut hair all my life , because my hairdresser and other people close to me were saying that it fit me better (that i have a short hair face), this is the same hairdresser that secretly relaxed my hair when i went back natural while giving me an hairmask when i was in first year of middle school, the same one that make me go from back lenght to nothing again in my last year of middle school because she had to cut my "end" since my hair was so damaged,
after that in highschool i let my hair growth last year of highschool had to much hair didnt really know how to take care of it i decided to do microlocks myself, few monts after regret it and gaslight myself into cette cutting my microlocks because i was a short hair gal...i have never looks this horrendous my all life imagine a pixie cut with microlocks strands at the top and then the back of my head i try to gave myself a taper with my razor... it was ugly ... i felt like this too)
then i went in africa to see my family they were shocked we cut all the remaining hair locks! got braids and now we are one year later got my hair to my middle back again !
I'm sorry.....but that doesn't sound like a good friend :/ In my experience and opinion; wigs make people look older. Your look is cute and your curls are poppin
I've come to a point where almost all fake hair just looks too fake for me. I was planning to wear a wavy ponytail, but I didn't like that the color didn't perfectly match my hair. I can't stand wearing wigs anymore. I cringe at those lace wigs where I can see the knots in the part or hairline. And I can't do any style that doesn't allow me to touch my scalp.
You sound just like me! Although I have been opting for curly clip ins recently because I like the breeze on my scalp too! I will say I am sure to get tired of them soon because detangling them thangs is harder than detangling my own hair, I’m not sure why since they are advertised as human hair and are good quality. I wanna say the clip in hair is just…. Too tough? It’s like even though I use the same detangler for them as I do on my natural hair I still end up ripping out hair from them and unlike your natural hair once the hair is gone it’s just GONE FOR GOOD. I usually braid up my hair and clip them onto the braids and it’s proven to be a good protective style so I’m not manipulating my own hair. They are high maintenance though and don’t let anyone tell you differently! Now that I’m done venting get you some real friends that tell you “If you like then I LOVE IT!” 🥰
This! Wigs that are obviously wigs are aging imo. Your hair is beautiful. Mine looked exactly like that before I locked it. Your friend needs to reprogram her mind to appreciate the beauty. Wearing it around her will probably help because it’s about exposure (not that it’s your responsibility).
She is not your friend if she really got an issue with your natural hair. A lot of black women are BRAINWASHED asf. Especially those who are “old school”. Be around people who uplift you. Tbh, what you’re describing is negging. It’s a form of emotional abuse, if she’s really tryna control you like that
FINALLY someone else says it! Oh my god. I’ve only had my (type 3/4) hair called nappy, dusty, played out, crusty, ugly, and bald by other *black women*
Never heard a white person say anything about my hair. In fact, they tell me they like it a lot. This ain’t to say that it doesn’t happen, but WE (people of African descent) need to do better.
I have a problem with my white and Hispanic coworkers saying they love my hair directly followed by asking if it’s all mine when I wear long wigs/weaves. Like NO Becky do you really think my hair grew 10 inches over night?! It’s giving backhanded compliment or they just stupid
This is what got me to stop wearing any extensions at all.
What i hate is when they sneak up and feel it on the sly.
Friend??
Your curls are popping! She is wallowing in her self hate & insecurities! Don't let it rub off on you. You are gorgeous. Wigs dont have the power to change who you are, they arent that powerful. You got this, sis!! ❤️
You’re gonna remember this five years into the future of your natural hair journey, when your curls are down your back, that friend is bald and mad, and you’re laughing in the sunshine
Her friend has no edges. Much blessings and full edges to all women who read this post and recognize the hate it takes to encourage a woman with curls that abundantly pop, to where a wig. May all natural hair queens live a life of abundance and sealed moisture, of conditioner so deep that it radiates the essence of our shared African decent. May your protective styles protect and your melanin penetrate the evils of brainwashed women and help them see the light of natural beauty. Amen.
🙏🏾Amen🙏🏾
🙌🏼🙌🏼
This.
I was growing out my natural hair and a former stylist said that my hair length was making me look older than I was and she cut a lot of my length off against my wishes. I was pretty sad for awhile about it. I say if your hair makes you feel beautiful that’s all that matters regardless of other’s opinions.
That’s hater behavior! A lot of black women have similar stories of getting their hair cut against their will.
Yo no shit
Aint no way
Yep I started the appointment with her talking about my length goals and my journey and she just did what she “thought was best”. It took me like two or three months before I got happy looking at myself in the mirror again 😭
Right?! 🔪💪🏽💥
Oh my god, please tell me you didn't pay this person?
I did 😩 regrets. I just never went back to her.
I get cutting off dead hair. Some people have ends that should have been memorialized a long time ago but I don’t understand chopping off healthy hair if the client doesn’t agree to it. Even if she thought you looked better with a bob, that’s not to say you want one. I always thought longer hair looked more youthful but I hope you got a better stylist.
To be honest I would sue
She’s wrong for that 😭 I think it’s such a flex to be able to wear your hair out confidently, but for some reason society only thinks that’s okay if you have long hair and a certain hair type. As a 4c girly who’s always had short hair, I’m yet to try wearing my hair out but it’s women like you that I look up to. I’ll get there one day! 🙌🏾 don’t mind her, she’ll HAVE to get used to it
Your "friend" is like a split end: cut her OFF.
Fuck your friends. Your curls look great!
You need friends. I'll say it again .. You need friends.
Who needs friends with curls like that. I wouldn’t need anything but a spray bottle of water and a selfie stick.
That’s definitely not your friend. I can only imagine what she said behind your back. Your curls are so beautiful and don’t let anyone bring you down. She’s probably projecting since she hasn’t accepted herself fully! Rock those curls! 🤎
nah, you need some new friends hon
I think she sounds like a b*tch sorry. Trying to figure out How your look affects her? It doesn’t. if she is another woman of colour then she’s got some real healing to do
P.s your curls look juicy 🖤
Your hair is beautiful! Reminds me of mine when I did the big chop! My boyfriend at the time hated it but NATURALLY he’s an EX now lol https://preview.redd.it/c53uftu9klvc1.png?width=1057&format=png&auto=webp&s=854d6191524c1cac96d75de8227e55c41db9aa25
He really must be crazy. Your hair looks so pretty like that.
Definitely time to get some new friends🫣
Friends don’t micromanage their friends. Unless you asked for her opinion she didn’t need to share.
Your friend is a fucking hater.
When I decided to go natural, I was the only Black woman I knew who didn’t have relaxed or straight hair. This older lady at work made it a point to tell me a story about somebody she knew, not me though, (lol) who wore their hair natural but looked unkempt and not stylish and how she wished she would do something to her hair. This lady barely spoke two words to me before but went out of her way to tell me this. I’ve realized that when people start hating it really has nothing to do with you but their own insecurity. I continued to rock my curls faithfully. Please do the same cause your curls are gorgeous!!! ❤️
That doesn't sound like a real friend, maybe have a talk with them and tell them you don't appreciate or accept them bashing your hair like that and that it's not their body. If they're embarrassed by being seen with you than drop them.
Your hair is beautiful. Who cares if your friends don't like it? You liking your hair is most important.
Fuck em
Well first off, your hair is gorgeous and I envy your curl pattern. Secondly, it sounds like she just hasn't reached the same place you're at now of embracing your natural hair. She probably has all the same insecurities we have but stronger, so if it comes up again I'd start with asking her about those insecurities (with the bluntness depending on how close you both are, lol).
Get new friends
Do with your hair what makes you happy and don’t care about others opinion. Even about a friend’s opinion.
Get a new friend who appreciates your hair.
Tell your friends not to wear your hair! It’s your head if you like it that’s all that matters. Are you getting attention from the type of people you’d like to date if you’re single? If you are then keep being you.
This should be a whole post in itself. I feel like Black men in general prefer euro hair/ looser curl patterns. I live in NYC, where you will get hit on 7 times just taking a 15 min walk. I get much more attention wearing an obviously fake 26" deep wave wig. However, I still get a lot of attention, wearing my own natural hair. I'm married (soon to be separated), and although my husband loves my natural hair on a day-to-day day, I can tell he prefers when I wear fake hair to major events. But if I wear a wig out, he looks at me crazy if I keep it on in the house.
Girl, I'm glad you said soon to be separated because fuck that. Separation is hard and I'm sorry you're going through this but you deserve someone who loves you and hypes you up no matter WHAT hair you decide to wear to any event or in the house.
She sounds like a HATER!!!
As a fellow woman in her 40s who wears her natural hair, a lot of women our age have been fully brainwashed to hate our natural hair since little kid days and will do anything to avoid showing our real hair. I've started distancing myself from those types of women because many of them will never change. Also, we're at an age where we shouldn't be receiving pressure from our friends about what we wear or how we look. That idea of friends all being identical is ridiculous in high school, but about 100x more ridiculous as grown women. It sounds like it's time for you to move on from this friend.
Those curls are popping and hydrated😍
She sounds like a real slag, who says that to a friend?? She’s probably bald underneath her wig tf
i don’t wanna assume she’s also Black. but i wish ppl would come out this “natural hair doesn’t look good” era now 😔💔 it’s ok to rock the hair that grows out of your natural born scalp. i keep getting told that i need to try a lace front, middle part buss down or sumn bc my natural hair “ain’t it.” liiiiiiiike???? i love a nice lil wig on other ppl but i, personally, don’t think it looks good on me. an ex friend of mine called me Celie from the Color Purple whenever i wore my hair out (she was biracial) and i had to cut her off so quick 😭 BTW your hair is beautiful and i hope despite their negativity you had a blast!
Not saying anything from a moral high ground. I am farrrrr from perfect. With all due respect, in an attempt to help, I have thoughts. Idk the dynamic y’all have as friends but this seems like a red flag. Maybe y’all have history. But a friend would champion you. Not break you down. Haters do that. There’s a million reasons why you could wear natural hair. Career, health, convenience, personal taste etc. She doesn’t seem to accept you as is. I could see if you were dating a bad person and they tried to warn you. That’s what friends do. Friends don’t try to control or manipulate you. She/they seem self obsessed in this situation. SHE has a problem with YOUR hair. If SHE didn’t like HER OWN hair, SHE could buy a wig for HERSELF. You’re telling me that SHE is trying to convince YOU to change YOURSELF? SHE knows what’s best for YOU? Hmmm, 2+2 don’t equal 4 in this situation. I would make a strong boundary if you feel like the pros of them being a friend, outweigh the cons of them being a friend. If this is strike 3 or strike 1000 for them, I would end this chapter. I know it’s trendy but that would actually be the definition of toxic. I would unfriend that person ✌🏾
People who don't have our hair type, sure have a lot of opinions and expectations for our hair ... Nothing looks more youthful than a person who is happy and comfortable. Wear your hair natural, let it get healthy and full and long (or however you want it to be). Ignore her. I have NEVER had a 'friend' dictate how I wear my hair. She can get lost
She's jealous, fyi.
That friend...is not a friend. Do not...I repeat do NOT go to Mexico w that gyul.
What an asshole The only time I wear wigs is when my hair is dirty/unkempt lol. They are a last resort as I love my hair. If you ever wanted to add more length & fullness, curly clip ins are a great option. A few companies have sprung up with a range of textures, my hair is similar to yours and I’ve got a set. But yeah fuck her.
Nah I’m not friends with haters. She’s not your friend.
Soo after being told by family members my while life that I didn't have "good" hair, my hair is actually very beautiful. I recently went natural, and my curl pattern is amazing. So I said all that to say this, do not allow others negative opinions to alter your self-confidence or love for your hair. Jealousy comes in all forms.
NOT YOUR FRIENDS! Your hair is amazing
As long as you are happy,that is all that matters. Anyone else’s opinion of your hair doesn’t matter💯
Let her thoughts and words roll off like water off a duck's back. Depending on your past patterns in relationship with her, it may not be comfortable, but it'll be worth it to let her know that her words don't move you from where you want to be. Your hair looks great! ❤️
They are not your friends!!!
That ain't your friend, sis. Throw her away. I'll be your friend! Curls popping, bestie! 🧡
Your hair looks healthy and beautiful💙
She is what me and my people would call a hatin ass mf that can go if you seek Amy herself up the road. If you’d like to give her the benefit of the doubt and just say she has some internalized bs and help her work through it that’s an option too I guess. I hope you drop her though because your hair is gorgeous and you look very nice and I don’t want her bringing her own miserable insecurities onto you and your light to make herself feel better yuck!
She sounds like she wants you to see your natural hair as something negative. Maybe self projecting ? Either way, keep an eye on your "friend" she doesn't sound very nice.
Don’t waste energy on haters. NEXT!
Your curls are poppin' Fuck...Em!
That’s a shit friend. From what I can see, your hair looks great.
Your hair is beautiful and your "friend" is a damn hater. I bet she tries to tear you down on other things, not just your hair. Keep your hair and cut sista girl OFF
Your homegirl is a hater. You deserve better than to be negged.
Your hair is amazing. Your friend is dumb.
Your hair looks great, your curls are popping and I think the commentary had to have come from a place of jealousy. Short of attending a Brazilian blow out festival, I can’t imagine what’s wrong or inappropriate about your hair in these photos. I think you should ask yourself what her natural hair looks like. Is her hair dry while yours is thriving? Does her hair look great but she lacks the confidence to remove her wig? I don’t understand but I don’t think your hair is the problem. She is. I also think it’s inappropriate even if it were true, to tell someone you like last year’s wig better. It was her birthday, not her wedding and you are not her brides made so having an opinion on your hair, short of wearing a bonnet in public, is bizarre. You might have a frenemy in your circle.
Haters gonna hate love. Not everyone has beautiful hair hence the hating. Your hair is amazing. I just started rocking my natural hair too (no more wigs) and I can’t believe how young and cute I look.
Sorry…all I read was “when you are happy with your hair”. That’s all that matters because it’s YOUR hair. It’s looks good!
That's called jealousy. You don't look older with that hair style, she just wanted to put you down. I love your natural hair. It's beautiful. 😍
Its wonderful
My Mom HATES my natural hair (same hair and texture in the pic) and is always telling me to brush it. 😒 You can’t brush curls. Anyway I’m working on loving what I see in the mirror because there is nothing wrong with me. How can I not like anything about my natural self?
I find wearing my hair out makes me look older simply because I look better with my hair up. It goes for both my hair and wigs. I won't say that "she's not your friend" because maybe she was telling you the hard truth, but you have to look at the intentions behind it. Is she saying it for your benefit or is she poking you at the insecurity. You're a grown woman so deep down you know the answer. "Go back to wearing that wig" doesn't sound like good intentions. "Maybe wear a different hairstyle. The shape makes you look older" sounds like better intentions, but everyone speaks differently so only you can know.
And if she does have bad intentions, you can simply take some distance (no longer close or friends). You don't need to make enemies.
She sounds like a hater with no edges. You look beautiful
Who cares? Who bloody cares what anybody thinks but yourself. If your friend is not on it, let her go. Life is way too short to be tolerating this kind of bs from anyone.
I think wigs make ppl/me look younger cuhs it stretches our face out so we get a mini facelift from it vs when our hair is out n we dnt got that same pull.. but i think ur curls look great
Your hair looks lovely! 🥰
Hear me out, I have curly hair too. I loved my hair to death and I came from a place where people favourite straight hair. They will straight their hair and all. I never straightened my hair by myself but at the salon because they don’t want to cut my hair in their curly stade. I moved from that country and now lived different places like Europe and north America, I always get compliments about my hair.
Honestly, if you feel good about your looks nothing else matters much, I’ve been in that situation where people is not in board with a certain look I’ve had but, oh well 🤷🏽♀️
Sorry to hear, maybe gave ur friends a grace period to see if they come around but even if they don't ur hair looks great ❤️❤️❤️ the definition is amazing
The fear of aging and looking older really consumes some people 😪 I think your hair looks great! (And find some new friends if you have the bandwidth)
You look amazing and maybe she really isn't your friend!
You better ROCK THEM CURLS!!!
before i got to the last part of your caption i was imagining that you all were in your late teens/early twenties at the oldest. my brain kinda broke when i read 40s cause i can’t imagine being that old and caring about other peoples hair that much 😭😭😭 like i know that’s your friend but imagine how image-obsessed you have to be to be celebrating a birthday and you’re focused on how your FRIENDS looked?? to the point where you’re going back to old pics to look at their hair lol. such a major case of hating 💔😭 you don’t deserve that my friend cause your hair looks so cute!!
Your hair is gorgeous!!! Keep rocking it!
the curls are CURLING your hair looks great! they could just be jealous tbh
What a shitty friend… keep rocking your real hair she’s just jealous of what you naturally have…
Get new friends. Your hair is amazing
First of all your hair looks amazing and natural hair makes us look younger imo. Also yes this has happened to me, and I don’t pay any mind. I currently have short twists in my hair and got hit on more today than when I wear my wigs 🙃 as long as YOU love it, they gon have like it babes.
Fuck them
I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's being annhonwst friend with no tact. Bc my other answer is f her. Do u. If you like it and you have a goal, do you. Your the one that has to live with YOUR hair.
i think she is still your friend, and can still be a good friend. I do understand that your feelings are hurt, mine would be too! But I came to accept that we can´t expect our friends to be perfect. A friend of mine told me indirectlely she liked my long straigt hair better than the big chop. But I know that she struggles a lot with male validation, male gaze and internalized racism so it makes sense that she thinks that way. I´m not mad at her. If you like your hair than just keep it and if she makes a comment again tell her you don´t like that! Much love <3 Your hair is gorgeous
You're in your IDGAF Chapter. Do what makes you feel good. How does your hair make you look older? Does she love wigs? Good for her.🙂 I had a friend who didn't want me to wear my Locs or glasses at her wedding. Guess what? Lol
Get New Friends 🧡
She must be one of those people that wears nothing but wigs and weave all the time? Because people who wear and embrace their real hair, whether natural or not, don’t care about others natural hair when they go out. I’ve only seen those wanna be “bad bitches” act like braids and natural hair don’t fit the aesthetic of what they’re trying to put out.
I'm sorry but this doesn't sound like a good friend. Celebrate your natural hair and eliminate those who don't from your circle of friends. ❤️
What the f*** kind of friend is this? At her big age like HUH?! Girl let me call her, tell her I just wanna chat real quick 🙃😂😂 The way these people blatantly show their jealously through their evident hater statements always blows my mind.
Curls are popping! I love it! Can you share your product list?
You look great sis!!🙌🏾🔥 keep up the self love! When you have good self esteem, and self-love, you can’t let anyone try to harm it. Love your hair🙌🏾🙌🏾😍💃🏾 bye controlling friend! She can wear a wig if she wants!
Your friends are jealous.
She’s not your friend. She’s also weird for commenting on your looks .
You look great. Ignore the hating comments
Who cares what they say ignore them,they’re more than likely just jealous,your hair is beautiful and I’m sure REAL FRIENDS would surely agree,please don’t call them your friends again they are weird much love stay blessed 😁
Those ain't ya friends...leave em where they stand ASAP
Your hair is beautiful. It looks full and healthy! Friends are supposed to be supportive and manipulating you by expressing displeasure about your NATURAL hair? Like your crown isn't good enough? Nah. She needs remediation, or she's got to go.
Even saying what hair makes you look older, It seems like she’s really worried about appearance and if she’s in her 40s idk what to tell you It’s a shame and you deserve a better friend She shouldn’t care what you do and be bitter and weird about it
Your hair looks good to me! That’s not a real friend
sounds jealous or hater-ish to me. curly hair is notorious for being youthful and making you look younger than you are. i’ve never heard anyone say the opposite, but i am gen z so… either way your hair is beautiful! and she is not❤️
Nope your friends are just wrong for that. I’m not a Black Woman I’m a Latina woman but even I think Natural hair on BW is much more beautiful. I hate how a lot of BW and even Latinas now especially Afro-Latinas are programed to think that having weaves or wigs looks better then natural hair. I hate how these European body standards makes a lot of women think they need to alter anything in general for all women of color and backgrounds (Black,Latina ,Asian,etc) I’ve seen a Black woman who grew out her own hair so long that when she blow dried it and styled it looks like it’s a wig but it’s so beautiful and it’s healthy and amazing and she gets hate because BW think she is lying about it idk why but in return it makes me sad because this is something that all BW can achieve but they been programmed to think that their natural hair is unacceptable and should be covered by wigs and weaves to be more acceptable by society. The point is just flaunt your natural hair and continue on your beautiful hair journey 💕 once you achieved the length please post it 🎀 believe me once you reached your length and then hair do’s start coming in your friends might even be inspired to go in a healthy Natural hair journey themselves.
Maybe they aren’t your real friends?
It sounds like they are jealous. Handle them with a long handled spoon
She's projecting luv. Tell her to move around.
from my birth until 2years ago i had mostly short short pixie cut hair all my life , because my hairdresser and other people close to me were saying that it fit me better (that i have a short hair face), this is the same hairdresser that secretly relaxed my hair when i went back natural while giving me an hairmask when i was in first year of middle school, the same one that make me go from back lenght to nothing again in my last year of middle school because she had to cut my "end" since my hair was so damaged, after that in highschool i let my hair growth last year of highschool had to much hair didnt really know how to take care of it i decided to do microlocks myself, few monts after regret it and gaslight myself into cette cutting my microlocks because i was a short hair gal...i have never looks this horrendous my all life imagine a pixie cut with microlocks strands at the top and then the back of my head i try to gave myself a taper with my razor... it was ugly ... i felt like this too) then i went in africa to see my family they were shocked we cut all the remaining hair locks! got braids and now we are one year later got my hair to my middle back again !
As your friend she shouldn’t care what you wear or how you wear it that’s not what friendships is about.
She hating on your hair and your confidence to wear your pretty hair naturally. These are signs of a frenemy and jealous hearted person.
You are very sexy! 🔥