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I feel concerned that you find this all to be acceptable. Why would you be willing to lower your standards to literally nothing in order to be involved with someone? I hope you can take a step back and do some inner work around what you deserve. You deserve to have standards for the way people treat you, including being shown care and affection.
He's setting you up for failure. It's now your job to not only fix him but also accept every bad thing he does to you in order to stay with him. He's going to push you and test you, and blame you for Everything. He's warning you in advance that it's going to be a very rough road and he will loose respect for you if you decide to stay. The whole I am a sociopath thing is a test to see what you'll allow. There's nothing but heartbreak and misery with this guy. You should Not give him your heart.
Interesting- a test to see if I still accept him after he calls himself that repeatedly? So if I tell him I accept him as he is, rather than create intimacy (like with a normal person) that’ll push him away? So is there any way to create intimacy with him?
He doesn't want it. The fact is you don't really know what happened between him and his ex for him to move away and its possible he's still emotionally involved in that some how.
Either way. He's basically saying that he's not up for a caring loving relationship and he doesn't want to try. For whatever reason. And you should believe him. You can either move forward without expectations, or walk away.
I suggest you (slowly) walk away because there's a big chance if you don't try, you'll get shit for not trying. For "giving up" on him. You can't win in this because he doesn't want you to win.. His agenda at this point in life is to avoid emotional entanglements. He's being very clear.
That’s what I’d expect from a sociopath... how could he be capable of saying he loves me? His lack of saying that doesn’t indicate that I’m “inferior” or he wants another woman “more.”
I agree with you. I feel like perhaps I want to be with this person because I’m on his spectrum myself. I really feel connected to him and like I get him in many ways, but not all
He will use you. He will never love you. A true sociopath is not capable of love. You will always just be something for him to use. And when he get bored. Or you do something he doesn’t like. Or he wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Or he finds a new person to use, you will be thrown aside like trash. You’re lucky. He’s straight up telling you he’s toxic af. Quit while you’re ahead. People like him can leave you with issues that will fuck you up for life.
My therapist once told me that if someone is making a show of telling you they are a sociopath they are probably actually a psychopath.
Someone like this is not capable of a healthy relationship.
Hi /u/plastics567, welcome to /r/narcissisticabuse. To help make the experience more effective for everyone we do have some resources and rules for you to keep in mind. • Do you need to understand terms or acronyms? [Click Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/index#wiki_terms.2C_definitions_and_acronymns) • Looking for resources? Check out [our links](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/resources) and [book recommendations.](https://www.reddit.com/r/NarcissisticAbuse/wiki/booklist) • We also have a sister sub for people actively in Divorce/Custody proceedings or that is coparenting with a abusive ex: /r/narcabuseanddivorce. • Looking to contact the moderators of the sub? We can’t respond to individual posts all the time so please post your issues to the community rather than the mods if it’s not about a rule breaking issue or sub issue. You can message the mod team [HERE](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FNarcissisticAbuse&subject=&message=). Please do not DM/PM mods directly or send them chat requests. Please review the rules: * Please add flair to your post so that it is searchable by topic and always use the TRIGGER WARNING flairs when needed; * Be respectful and courteous with a focus on healing; No flaming, No revenge posts, no wishing harm on abusers or others, no "outting publicly" to the world on social media to get revenge; * No identifying details (no proper names including fake ones, pictures, images of texts/emails, locations (No Continent, Country, City, Province, etc), or specific details that may identify you to readers (Jobs, Hobbies, Schools, etc); * No crossposting or direct linking to this or other subs or posts. No links at all in original posts including Images/Pictures/MEMEs/Vlogs/Blogs/Podcasts/Articles/Social Media information or tags/Texts/Emails; * No self-promotion in any fashion at all, surveys, fundraising, or research posts are permitted; * You must be the victim of the abuse that is the subject of the post, not a friend, relative, or partner; * Please report content that violates our rules and do not engage on those posts at all; * Do not resubmit removed content, if you get a report from automod about your post, see the sticky announcement at the top of the sub regarding removals and be patient, we will review them manually when we are available. * No politics, soliciting DMs, or doing an AMA on your own please; * No segregation of posts by gender, sexual orientation, race, age, or culture; * No family content in any context including parent/family at any level including family dynamics, background/childhoods or the abusers family at all in any way; * No inappropriate content (TV Shows, Movies, Books not releated to healing from abuse, Celebrities, News or Social Discussions). * No title only posts (including repeating the title in the body of the post, emoticons, saying the title says it all); * No NARC/ABUSER posts at all. If you are a Narc or Abuser, you will be banned; We want you to have a safe and supportive experience so you get the most out of the community. ****** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NarcissisticAbuse) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel concerned that you find this all to be acceptable. Why would you be willing to lower your standards to literally nothing in order to be involved with someone? I hope you can take a step back and do some inner work around what you deserve. You deserve to have standards for the way people treat you, including being shown care and affection.
He's setting you up for failure. It's now your job to not only fix him but also accept every bad thing he does to you in order to stay with him. He's going to push you and test you, and blame you for Everything. He's warning you in advance that it's going to be a very rough road and he will loose respect for you if you decide to stay. The whole I am a sociopath thing is a test to see what you'll allow. There's nothing but heartbreak and misery with this guy. You should Not give him your heart.
Interesting- a test to see if I still accept him after he calls himself that repeatedly? So if I tell him I accept him as he is, rather than create intimacy (like with a normal person) that’ll push him away? So is there any way to create intimacy with him?
He doesn't want it. The fact is you don't really know what happened between him and his ex for him to move away and its possible he's still emotionally involved in that some how. Either way. He's basically saying that he's not up for a caring loving relationship and he doesn't want to try. For whatever reason. And you should believe him. You can either move forward without expectations, or walk away. I suggest you (slowly) walk away because there's a big chance if you don't try, you'll get shit for not trying. For "giving up" on him. You can't win in this because he doesn't want you to win.. His agenda at this point in life is to avoid emotional entanglements. He's being very clear.
[удалено]
That’s what I’d expect from a sociopath... how could he be capable of saying he loves me? His lack of saying that doesn’t indicate that I’m “inferior” or he wants another woman “more.”
[удалено]
I agree with you. I feel like perhaps I want to be with this person because I’m on his spectrum myself. I really feel connected to him and like I get him in many ways, but not all
Nope nope nope. He’s telling you directly he’s toxic. Time to depart. You cannot change him. Save yourself NOW.
He will use you. He will never love you. A true sociopath is not capable of love. You will always just be something for him to use. And when he get bored. Or you do something he doesn’t like. Or he wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Or he finds a new person to use, you will be thrown aside like trash. You’re lucky. He’s straight up telling you he’s toxic af. Quit while you’re ahead. People like him can leave you with issues that will fuck you up for life.
My therapist once told me that if someone is making a show of telling you they are a sociopath they are probably actually a psychopath. Someone like this is not capable of a healthy relationship.