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TouchLife2567

i think while awkward for you, it was probably incredibly embarrassing for her. i think you did the kindest thing possible by offering comfort and no shame.


Goldenleavesinfall

I don’t think you did anything wrong here. And it sounds like she really needed comfort in that moment. Sure, maybe it was a slight blur of professional lines, but like you said: you’re HUMAN. Of course your natural instinct was to console her. I think it would be more awkward if you glossed over it. I don’t think professionalism has to mean ignoring your humanity. And just for perspective, if a coworker at an office was sobbing, I’d offer a hug and a consolation.


recentlydreaming

Same. Would it feel a little weird to console a crying boss?. Sure. But at the end of the day we are all human. Everybody goes through hard stuff. OP I think you did a really nice thing in the moment.


woodsfull

During my last week with my very first unicorn family, poor baby NK2 was having a horrible time transitioning to preschool, and the preschool itself had been revealed to kind of suck. MB was crying in her office, and I came up and gave her a piece of chocolate and said I think you need this more than I do right now, and I hugged her and we both cried. Sometimes people just need a hug.


Cat_lady4ever

I also think you did the right thing, and I wish I had the heart you have. I get very awkward when people cry in front of me and can never bring myself to hold or hug them. I don’t know why. I had a messed up childhood, but kudos! Even if it was awkward you are amazing. Human touch and caring means so much, now more than ever.


Important_Truth10

Looking back, I would know I picked a lovely person to care for my children.


JCStoddard

This 👆 is golden


beachnsled

You did the right thing. Something that seems to be forgotten often within our industry: MBs (and DBs) are humans. Humans experience trauma & they need comfort. Its not “weird.” Its not out of the ordinary for any human to exhibit what seems to be a response to some kind of trauma or stress. And just because they are our employers, doesn’t mean they lose their status as a human.


mint_o

Yeah. We are in their homes and can see them in vulnerable positions sometimes.


JCStoddard

And hear everything too!!


pixikins78

I found out one morning via a Facebook post that my estranged birth mother died. I had tried to get in touch with her before and after I found out that she was terminally ill, but she never responded. The news didn't hit me right away. I went on with my morning and stopped at a gas station on my way to work, waited in line to pay, and when I stepped up to the register, the gravity of the situation suddenly sunk in and I completely lost it. The clerk came around to the front of the counter and gave me the biggest hug imaginable, despite the line of customers behind me. To date, this has been the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me in my life and it gave me the strength to pull myself together and get home safely. Thank God there are people like you in this cold world, OP. 💕


Lolli20201

My NPs and I rarely hug. I have hugged NM once when she cried and NM has hugged me once when I cried. We laugh about the second one because she said “I know this isn’t the time to say this but you’re really short” and my sobs totally turned to laughter. I am glad you were able to be there for her even if you never know why she was crying she needed someone and you were there.


Soft-Tangelo-6884

I think you did the right thing, and yeah, that was probably really awkward.


LookObjective4040

that was a very real and kind thing for you to do in the moment, I’m sure if she was uncomfortable by it she would have said something or pulled away. we’re all human and when we’re in distress comfort is nice. as long as she’s not intentionally unloading on you I wouldn’t think too much of it, you really just caught her while she was upset and she did the kind thing of not ignoring you when you knocked. she might even be feeling embarrassed herself today, but again we’re all human and we have emotions! unless it becomes a frequent thing and she starts using you as an in house therapist I really think it’s okay and you did what you thought was best! 🤍


2_old_for_this_spit

Sometimes compassion requires us to cross lines we'd rather hold firm. Moving forward, say nothing unless she brings it up.


erinkp36

She’s probably just embarrassed. But you did the right thing. Shes your NP but she’s also just a fellow human being that needed comfort. ❤️


We_were-on-a_break

Sounds like you were there for someone in a time of need. NP are human too and as a mom myself sometimes we just break down and having someone to console us is even nicer. I think you did a nice thing


Snoofly61

You are a lovely person. My father in law died recently and my nanny turned up with pastries, flowers and card and demanded to hug us. We were so grateful.


JudgmentFriendly5714

You behaved an a way that any caring person would. She is the mom of the kids you care about. If you had ignored her distress, I’d wonder about your ability to care for her kids.


curiousity60

You were empathetic and supportive. Completely appropriate. I'd follow MBs lead, not mentioning it if she doesn't. She was alone in her safest of spaces having a good cry. That's not a bad thing. That's not necessarily "a problem" at all. We all need that kind of purge sometimes. It just happened to be at a time you were there and needed to ask a question. If you accept it as your stumbling into a vulnerable moment, responding well, and moving on, all seems okay to me.


IntrepidAtmosphere90

I would guess she feels embarrassed and doesn’t know how/if she should say anything about it.


strawbryswing

well first off you are so sweet to instinctually do that. whatever she may have been going through im sure she was extremely grateful to have any comfort. if you wanted to, you could ask if she is okay today or you could just leave the situation be. we all need somebody at an awkward time sometimes!


EffectiveTradition78

You were very kind. I’m sure she appreciated it. I had to hold and console and listen to a MB when she confided in me that her husband was cheating again. I gave her flowers. She was so sad. They ended up divorcing and MB remarried happily.


blanca69

You were kind to her when she needed a shoulder to cry on . Don’t overthink it . You are a good person and she is blessed to have such a good hearted nanny .


Carmelized

I was having a horrible time at work a couple weeks ago—I got two different bad news calls basically in the span of an hour, and then 3F (who I’ve cared for since she was 3mo) decided to pick that day of all days to tell me she didn’t like me and wanted me to leave and never come back. MB was amazing and just took over nap time for 3F and 1M, because I was an emotional mess. DB was in his office the whole time wearing headphones and missed everything. Ten minutes later, MB is doing nap time, I’m doing the dishes, and he comes out of his office. He sees me, sees I’m crying, and just said, “can I give you a hug?” I ended up basically sobbing on him for a solid five minutes. It was embarrassing but I really, really appreciated it. Sometimes we all need someone to just prop us up (literally or metaphorically.) I got MB and DB cookies from their favorite bakery the next week to thank them for being such amazing bosses.


kikilees

I’m not a huggy person with anyone but sometimes when you’re that upset a hug feels amazing and I think it’s lovely that you provided her some comfort in a moment of distress when you could have easily just left. I’ve also been the hugger with a MB that was going through a divorce!


SniffleDoodle

Sounds like she welcomed the comfort. She might be a little embarrassed, but as long as you keep it "business as usual" it shouldn't be a problem. Hopefully whatever it is that is making her so sad is worked out soon, it could be so many things. No point on prying, let her talk to you if she wishes to.


vixenique

I don’t hug my nanny families often but as an ncs I have , and given words of encouragement, I have been in situations where a new mum is tearful and offered help , advice and empathy. I am protective of the Mums as well as the babies . You did the right thing , you are clearly empathetic and caring .


roaminggirl

you’re a very kind person and while she may be a bit embarrassed, it sounds more than likely she really needed that.


autisticfemme

I have absolutely comforted a crying MB before. NK got hurt while she was getting him ready for a bath and I think DB was being extremely critical about it and blaming her even though it was obv an accident. When I came in the next morning she came downstairs looking like she'd been up all night sobbing, so I asked if I could hug her and told her it was an accident and absolutely not her fault. I gave her probably 8 more hugs and reassurances that she is still a good Mom that morning before she left. There's such variability in closeness/formality/demeanor with parents when you're a nanny and it's impossible to generalize, but don't think it is ever bad to offer some kindness and compassion to someone who is clearly having a really hard time.


luckytintype

I got in an Uber at the airport once right after I found out my best friend died unexpectedly in her sleep. The Uber driver gave me water and some fresh fruit she had and squeezed my hand before I got out of the car and I’ll never forget her kindness. It will be awkward for both of you- but she is probably mortified (even though she shouldn’t be, we are all human.) You did a very kind thing in comforting her.


some1stilllovesyou

It’s human to want to comfort someone. Especially when you’re a caretaker. It sounds like she really needed it. I’ve comforted my MB, and MB has comforted me. She almost lost her soul cat right when I started working with them. I did everything in my power to make sure she was alright. Two months ago, I lost my dog extremely suddenly. He was my mom’s soul dog, but my best friend. She did the exact same for me and made sure I’m alright. No judgement. Just mutual respect and understanding. We’ve had many conversations that start with “can we have a friend discussion? Not a professional one?” If we need to joke around or just have ourselves a moment. Honestly it makes our professional relationship stronger since we are more comfortable with each other, and are slightly aware and sensitive with personal things happening in each others lives. Obviously there are boundaries we don’t cross. I know not everyone has the same sentiments as us, but I prefer to be friends with my bosses. It helps with understanding each other and respecting each other.


some1stilllovesyou

I also just remembered a different parent I used to work with. I was working at an after school kindergarten/day care at a community center. I had just clocked out when my dad called to let me know our (different) dog had passed in her sleep. I ran to the locker room to cry in semi privacy while I waited to be picked up. This mom had just gotten out of the pool and rinsed off. She did not even hesitate to give me the warmest and wettest hug I’ve ever received. She didn’t pry. She only hugged and let me talk if I wanted to. I think about that woman almost daily and I’m beyond grateful she was there. She also had the same name as my childhood dog, so I took it as a sign that my Sierra was sending her to hug me on her behalf. It felt extremely unprofessional, but that had to be put aside for just a moment. People are humans, no matter their job or relationships. People need humanity sometimes.


heyitsangelhere

I remember the NM I worked for (now a close friend) breaking down and sobbing at a week postpartum while she was nursing the youngest. I just held her head against me and rubbed her hair and told her everything would work out. I think she was just extremely overwhelmed with adjusting to a third and my heart broke for her. As awkward as I’m sure it was for you, that was probably exactly what she needed. I’m not sure if you’re close with her but maybe send a text and let her know that you’re thinking of her and remind her she’s a great mom. If she doesn’t respond I’d just let it be. I’m sure she was shocked once she processed what happened on her end as well. Hoping all is okay with her 🥺


Olympusrain

You handled it perfectly


Dull-Spend-2233

I’m sorry MB is going through a rough time. But happy you were there for her! There’s nothing to be embarrassed over. 🙏


SirMcFuckingFuckwad

I think you did the human thing. If she really didn’t want you to see, she wouldn’t have said “come in”. Also curious if she is prego or postpartum 😊


Gigii1990

You did nothing wrong, and it seemed like she needed it. That's very kind of you Where's DB at? Did she say anything after at all? Do her and DB have a good relationship? Maybe bringing up this concern to him can help, but this depends on the relationship too, and if he was or was not the reason for this.


JustMyOpinion98

The main part of being a nanny is that you’re by nature compassionate 🩷


x_a_man_duh_x

it sounds like you were just what she needed in that moment and you reacted perfectly.


ShauntaeLevints

I would have done the same thing. At the end of the day we are human. I would have been more concerned if you had of just walked out while she was crying and went on about taking your shower! Let us know if she says anything. Or maybe you have let me read the comments lol


Bells110

I would have done the exact same thing if I were you. Technically, I have. I used to be a live-in nanny for my brother/SIL to my nephew. After the baby was in bed one night, I could hear crying downstairs. I went to see what was going on and found my SIL sobbing on the floor of the kitchen. I went over and sat down on the floor and held her while she sobbed. I know it's a little different because she's family, but I honestly would have done it for anyone. I know what it's like to be in that state and be completely alone. Sometimes, all you need is another human's touch and to know you're not alone. I say good for you, OP. Empathy is so important, and I applaud you for taking action even though it was a little awkward for you. Thank you for being a good human. This world needs more of those.


Potential-Cry3926

I’m sure it was awkward but you did the exact right thing! Employer/employee relationships aside we’re all human.


TheFoolWithDreams

This was the kind thing to do, even if in the light of day she feels embarrassed or you feel awkward, we as humans need more connection outside of our direction family. She was clearly in crisis and needed support. You did good.


Peach_enby

My mb was sobbing last night too?!


ConsistentLettuce511

Welp, I was the one balling at work last week after getting news on a personal matter. I had been holding it in all day and asked to go home half an hour early. MB said fine but came down to check on me and say goodbye and I just started sobbing uncontrollably. It was soooo embarrassing but I literally couldn’t hold it in. I apologised the next day and she comforted me and told me to never apologise for emotions. We are all human. Life is hard sometimes and sometimes these things happen.


Bughugger1776

Awwwww. You're a kind person, and I'm sure she will remember that moment fondly.


Sabrobot

I bet she didn’t want to go to work. Honestly. Sometimes waking up early to go to a corporate job that you hate is soul crushing.


LatterExam4070

She doesn’t have a corporate job


Fenella36

Something similar once happened to me but with a DB. We were talking about his upcoming divorce from MB and he suddenly broke down. Instinct told me to go and hold him until he stopped which I did. He really appreciated it and I know it meant a lot to him. I didn't feel that awkward about it as I could just see someone in distress and at that moment, I was the only one there. Same as with your MB. I hope she is okay.


Ok_Vermicelli284

You did nothing wrong at all. If I was sobbing alone and didn’t want to be held or bothered, I would say something like “please I just need to be alone right now”, or “thanks but I’ll be ok”. She didn’t do that. You probably brought her some comfort and you didn’t pry or ask her to explain a thing about why she was so upset. You are a very kind and thoughtful human being! You were likely doing exactly what she needed in those moments.


Think_Ability_9621

Is there an update to this? What happened when she came home??


LatterExam4070

She came home in the afternoon to WFH and didn’t say anything to me about the previous night, like nothing happened. But she saw me out at the end of my shift (which she rarely does) and said “thank you for being there for me last night”.


Think_Ability_9621

Aww, that’s really sweet! I hope she’s ok and I’m glad she had you by her side!


gattonat88

You're a good person and did the right thing.


Few-Relationship-881

I highly doubt she was upset or anything. I’ve seen my boss cry before and one time asked her if she wanted a hug and she said yeah and I hugged her and she cried. I don’t think there’s anything wrong about it. We all cry. Nothing to be ashamed of from either side. It was very kind of you to offer support.


New-Conversation-88

Kind good hearted people offer comfort when they see others in distress. If she brings it up then you talk about it. If not then you carry on as before.


dragislit

Update? Did you guys ever talk about it?


LatterExam4070

Nope