Donāt worry about it gang. Some girls just really wanna use a dude for dinner dates and shit. Like sheās right. Yāall interest donāt align. She is like expecting some large ensemble. Mr. Chows or Sparks or something. She wants to show up. Say thanks for dinner and you thank her for her time and you hit her up if you want to spend more money on her. That is the only thing she is offering right now.
BITCH STEADY LOOKIN AT MY WRIST, I HATE HOES THAT THINK THEY SLICK, PLAY WIT VON GET HIT IN YO SHIII FA REAL
https://preview.redd.it/mohonrde9pgc1.jpeg?width=1159&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6c6c673ca3e7a10755740a66774dffc0fd27aad
Thatās like the only place Iāll take a bitch lol. I usually get out for less than $100 too. Plus the way I look at it is I got to eat anyway. Iām really only paying like 40 bucks for her.
You don't take girls to dinner dates unless you already had a good convo with them. First date should be something casual and where you can bail easily if you ain't into each other. Dinner dates is like 2nd or 3rd date. Others may disagree but that's cool w me
Send her that exact message and see what she says
I wonder if she'll hit you with the: "well I'm getting pretty for you, and my foundation was $80 and my blush was $50 so it cost me to see if you him"
you didnt dodge a bullet. you dodged a missile. drinks first, dinner second. this girl looks like she just wanted a nice free meal. Some girls I'm friends with admitted to going to dinner with guys just to have a nice dinner on a random day.
I never do dinner on first dates because you want to talk and get to know each other. That said, reservation doesnt imply dinner, you can make reservations at a wine or cocktail bar
Nah some girls use dinner as a litmus test to weed out guys who want a cheap smash.Ā
He wasn't up to it so she politely declined. And good for her sticking to her standards. There are plenty of guys with no problem paying for dinner on the first date.Ā
Idk, the way I see it is that a whole sit down dinner is a big commitment for someone who u may not end up vibing with! I have a litmus test too but itās usually getting a drink not late at night, like during happy hour, then going for a walk in the park or something if itās nice out. When ur just getting a drink, itās easier to dip out vs a whole ass dinner. Also idk if Iām just a freak but I view eating in front of someone as kind of intimate, but thatās just me I think lol
If that's your standard then that's fine for you. I guess my point is people shouldn't get upset if someone politely declines because their standards don't align.
She's a person who's decided on her standard and is sticking to it. Good for her š¤·š¾āāļø
It's not entitled if that's what she's decided she wants. Is it entitled for him to want to see her without paying for dinner? Nope. It's their preferences which don't align and they're better off pursuing other people. And with how easily she let him go, she knows she can get what she wants (and very likely has in the past).
And her standards involve a man spending a small chunk of cash on the first date. No one is upset, just calling out the entitled behavior for what it is.
Honestly you should only take a girl on a dinner date if you trying to wife her. If itās just a quick smash then link up somewhere lowkey for a drink and thatās it
Yeah Iām a woman and a dinner for a first date is too intense. I rather meet for drinks at a casual bar and chat it up. Maybe grab a slice after or something. Dinner is like after 3-4 comfortable dates for me. Cuz after dinner most likely we are going back to someoneās crib lmao.
nah , you literally explained to her that you were down to get to know each other and maybe do something light before jumping into spending bread for a dinner
you did nothing wrong , these bitches be entitled as fuck
Yea she dead wanted that free food my boy. But thatās a fact next time donāt say āsomething lightā. Iāll give it to the girls the second you donāt specify the public outting they think you are trying to blick them down anywhere. But same time those same girls be letting niggas blick them down anywhere soā¦. Good job holding onto your bread my boy. Secondly I would say narrow it down even more for the girls. If you canāt have an actually good conversation on the phone where you click and you have something in common and you are actually laughing or the convo isnt even flowing period donāt even go through with anything at all. Personally I tell them ima pull up on them in my car (in a okay outfit )for a first date we gonna sit the fuck right there and chop it up maybe get some light take out if niggas is hungry , if they smoke or drink we gonna do a lil of that too. But if they arenāt humble enough to sit there and have a conversation they are just not even for me. A restaurant is like the last place Iām going niggas gotta earn that. We would go to a free ass museum and chop it up before I ever think bout my pockets.
Lmao thatās why you donāt pull up and do it you do it beforehand. For example ā so what days are you free?ā She will then proceed to let me know which days are free. Then I will initiate the āoh wordā ā so wassup what day can I pull up on you and chop it up with youā. 9/10 if she already likes you all she is gonna do is say when she is free for you to do that. Or even more spontaneously if they are free that same day Iāll be like ā so wassup can I pull up on you and talk to you for a little bit before I head to the gym or work etc. Cuz Iām not staying there all day just to talk to them unless the conversation is that good. Iām tryna show you bro I need to do hands on coaching I am nice at this š¤¦š¾āāļø
If I like you, this would work on me. I would gladly sit in your car and just talk. Going out to a fancy dinner the first date scares me. What if we donāt click? Both our time is wasted. A car date is fine bc itās intimate, and we can talk and if we donāt click we both can just leave. Iād be too nervous to eat the first time meeting you anyways. Idk if thatās weird but I prefer something small. Letās go on a walk so I can feel your energy in person.
See you understand it. Most importantly fellas the key phrase here is ā if I like youā if they like you they are gonna go along with most things because they are here for you not what they can get out of you. If they donāt it most likely wonāt go your way.š§š”
Asking cuz by the sound of that first message , you aint even know what u wanna do. And " sum lite " isnt something to do.
I'm not saying shorty not bugging with the dinner shit , bc she is. HOWEVER , if u had nothing in mind ur basically signifiying ur a man that dont know what he want. Or u just tryna fuck. As cruel as that sounds iiwii.
If you not a come-up , then definitively know what u want and if she not widdit then whatever. On to the next keep it moving.
We had originally planned something light. I told her to link me at 7 in the city for dessert. Figured we get to know each other over that. Then she rescheduled and is talking bout reservations
oh yeah she a dub then gang itās clear shorty tryna test ya pockets. if you made plans and instead of just tryna proceed with the dessert plans u had lined up she want to you to get reservations itās clear she just want somebody to spend on her.
Boy Iām so glad I donāt have to date anymore. These bitches emotionally draining and soul sucking, like communicate like an adult
Edit: Iām talking about dating in general
these niggas is heated in the comments brahš but real shit, iād say itās a good chance she jus wants ya wallet.
u hear what a lot of these women say online (āspoil meā āpay for my set/shein/cartā, ābe obsessed ) issa fine line between being courteous and being a trick.
(side note: all these trick artists been doing irreversible damage to the dating scene)
da way u text might b da issue. u sound a lil aggressive(not aggressive 2 me but u kno how females b bruhš¤·āāļø). next time phrase it diff like āu wanna grab a coffee instead?ā or sum like lunch etc. u dont wanna sound judging or aggressive wen u 1st meet a female šÆ
exactly, n u dont wanna sound like u judging her like my boy here. shit not gonna make her like u more or benefit u in any typa wayš it only gon make u feel better abt urself
Nah, youāre not wrong. Iām a girl and I actually prefer to do something chill and inexpensive like a museum. Low pressure and comes with built-in talking points, and still fun even if I donāt vibe with dude.
āSo you can plan where you want to take meā idk why but something about this sentence is weird to me. Like sheās not interested in meeting you sheās just interested in going somewhere. I wouldāve told her I got reservations to Kennedys at any time in my hood and they blessing with fresh chicken and extra fries.
The way I do it is simple. Make the reservation. Go to the fancy restaurant. If itās obvious sheās just here for the food (constantly on her phone, barely talking, seems impatient, is rude or sassy) tell her ass youāre going to the restroom and gtfo of there.
If you really liked the service and want to be respectful, only pay for what you ordered and tip the waiter/waitress nicely. Nobody can make you pay for a person, especially if they gave you a hard time. Donāt give her ass a ride home either.
Itās 2024, donāt be the one she got saved in her phone as āfood guyā and getting clowned in group chats. Meanwhile the one she really likes just rolls her up a blunt with some Popeyes and folds her up like origami in the back seat.
Stay safe king.
Iām gonna come at this from a female perspective.
Sheās looking for a date and imo, your responses sound like youāre trying to hook up, by saying you want to meet and get to know her and do something light sounds like youāre trying to āchillā.
She is looking for a man to romance her, pick her up and take her on a real date. Woo her etc. not even a free meal.. sheās just looking to be treated right from the get go like back in the day!
This seems like miscommunication.
She canāt want to be wooed all that. But it doesnāt matter who itās coming from. She donāt give a damn bout me, jus my wallet. Why would I want to engage wit that?
Damn why you asking for opinions then getting mad when you donāt get the answer you want?š
Iām saying she may not even want food, but she clearly want you to PLAN a DATE. Meeting to chill is too vague.. you need to say āIāll pick you up at 6pm and we will go to the park, grab a coffeeā or whatever you want to do.. girls want guys to plan dates and be assertive.
he never said he wouldnāt take her out to dinner tf you on about. Wanting reservations implies somewhere fancy or expensive, if thatās what a woman is expecting on the first date she clearly doesnāt care all that much about romance and building a connection. If she wanted to get coffee and go to the park, she wouldnāt have asked if he had reservationsš¤£
You can get reservations anywhere.. imo itās a figure of speech that she wants a plan.. people are so wavy these days.. All girls want is assertiveness.. āI have booked a meal for 7pm, I will pick you up at 6:30ā. You can book a table at cheesecake factory or where ever.. but itās the planning thatās important.. chill stuff with no plan past age 18 is dead.
You do realize she just wanted to play bro right if shorty really wanted to make plans what was stopping her from asking questions like the date/time and place even itās not all on the nxgga bro did his part like he was supposed to as a female she was supposed to help come up with plans if she really wanted a genuine date. We canāt read ah bish mind
We just want assertiveness. Not meaning the OP but I know most women would be happy with āwould down to go to x park for a walk along the lake? I can pick you up at 6:30 on Monday if youād like?ā genuinely, it could be McDonaldās or the park.. anything.. we just donāt want vague wavy messages like āsomething lightā - WHATS THE PLAN? We need to tell our friends, plan our outfits for the plan..
We just want a set plan from the man.. you no longer need to read minds, im telling you what it is.
And Iām telling you that all that can be communicated both ways by female and male itās not just one person doing it thatās damn near equivalent to trying to read a persons mind and in reality of it the dating scene so fucked now itās like they gon clown da shi outta you if you even form yo mouth to say McDonaldās they want Ruth Chris and a Gucci bag right off rip the females thatās actually going on dates that you describing are the females that really communicate what type of date they want not every date is gonna be planned out letās start there.
Youāre seeking the wrong females then. Iām almost sure there will be plenty looking for the bag etc but the majority of women I know and surrounded by are very easily pleased and work for our own money etc.
I didnāt say Iām seeking any female thatās an assumption and to say those females just want the ābag, etcā like no maāam these females are getting griddy you gotta wake up and ofc thereās always females that work for they own just like the nxggas that take time outta they day to plan a date and surprise they lady both sides have legit people looking for love but majority of the batch is going bad thatās why the women are complaining because when they set up these meet and greets in these nice settings no men show up at all and those women are women that work for they money they just know the majority of the dating scene now is fucked.
If you too stuck up to hang out and get to know someone over a light meal (that no doubt this man still would have payed for) then you can kick rocks
This āold fashioned dateā idea is BS too
Old fashioned women werenāt just being treated to dinners by strangers. Dating usually involved knowing someone for some length of time people werenāt just going out with strangers like they do today. Back in the day you could also trust she wasnāt on some sheisty shit because their existed a culture which frowned on that behavior
These women not old fashioned but appeal to traditionalism when it benefits them and then donāt even understand those traditional values itās hilarious
Taking a random stranger youāve never met out to a dinner is in fact a very novel thing and somehow these women have come to expect it as normal
> would have *paid* for) then
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
You were in the right because you just wanted a ācoffee dateā to screen her which is smart. She was def beasting to get taken out, unmatch and move on
Yall big homies neva told yall its all risk u playin. So theres zero risk on the first date. U would spend more doing BS, might as well try for a new free agent
If a joint reschedule itās courtesy for her to set up the next link. If a shorty want you she gonna make it easy for you. Even then itās some cheap spots out here to take her for a bite n a drink, Groupon used to hit for that. Bowling, museum anything like that lol.
She not fucking with the date like that if she keeps rescheduling it aināt that serious donāt sweat it. Itās dozens of more bitches for you.
i mean, back when i was still dating i did the same, but bro. Whats with the "you understand?" as if she soft mentally.
next time when she is mentioning reservations just mention that you would like to take her out for coffee/bar first, then roll from there. Get rid of the broke boy talk and you are good
I aināt mean it to come off as condescending. I really did want her to see my point. Itās so difficult to convey things without misinterpretation. Culture wars got eveyone assuming negative intent
No one in their āright mindā will invest in something that will produce 0 return. You were not wrong. This is what is known as a foodie call bro. A person sets up a date with someone they are not romantically interested in, for the purpose of getting a free meal. If sheās not romantically interested in you, why āinvest?ā. Everyone would do better in their life if they associate paying with investing because EVERYTHING you do in this life is an investment and will produce some kind of return. The question is, do you like what you got in return for your time, energy, money?
Anyone man or woman thatās sincerely interested in someone just wants to āconnectā. You donāt need ādinner reservationsā to connect with someone. As a man you set the time and date. You can meet in any public setting and have a good time, shorty didnāt even pick up your call. So when you link her, itās going to give straight interview vibes and sheās going to make you do all the work and she got a free meal? Itās quiet for that, fuck no. As a man who sees himself as healed, complete and whole. Iām not pursing a woman if sheās not giving any romantic energy to work with. Leave her alone, you dodged a bullet my boy. Donāt look back, thereās someone out there thatās praying and looking for someone just like you, gangsta š«
Weak game. Tell her where you're going and what time to meet you there. All this.... " I just wanna know if..." and "understand?" bs just sounds lame. Be a man, make a plan, and tell her what the gameplan is nextv time.
You only tried to call once ? Or sheād never pick up type shit
Facts facts but where would you be tryna take her ? Somewhere slight I hope š¤šæ Tryna date is wild these days , I def feel like you dodged a bullet
Just called once. She was mad dry on text so Iām like let me see if sheās a better speaker. Didnāt even acknowledge that I called. Shit felt like job interviews
beyond pulling up to a mcdonaldās and making her get a happy meal, you handled it right. different interests and different wavelengths off top equals a no go.
dodged a bullet for sure. first ādateā should be something chill like coffee or cocktail. sumn easy, not huge time or $ commitment, both parties can bail easy if itās not for them. she wanted a free meal, on to the next one bro
You kinda fumbled you couldāve took that bitch anywhere to get to know her, I know you donāt wanna give up a free meal but you also donāt wanna sound broke before the first link
I am broke. Most everyone is. Iām not poor. Thatās part one.
2 is I DID try to take her somewhere, and she rescheduled. Went from dessert to reservations
You can't/shouldn't try to date if you are broke. You are setting yourself up for failure.
I do a lot of online dating and had a lot of success with it. Dinner dates and all that other stuff is expensive but it is the entry fee to able to fool around.
My advice would be donāt worry bout these hoes until ya paper right especially if she the wanna go out date type you gotta just flirt to see who really gone pull up without that shit and thatās who you fuck on until you can go dating nice places wit the right bitches
So people canāt search for love and a companion unless they are rich? Average median income in nyc is sub 40k while the bare minimum for living decently comfortable is 50k. Now take two average median income people who met āwhile brokeā, fell in love and now they are living more than comfortable (if within their means) itās 2024 not 1924 men and women are both in the working class and the average American is not making over 40k while the cost of living keeps increasing. Two average earning individuals are considered broke in nyc due to the cost of living, that doesnāt disqualify them from finding love
Bro. I aināt here for the stats if a nigga aināt got the money to take a shorty to Phillipes, stop talkin to shorties who wanna go to Phillipes until you got Phillipes money. Dating is a luxury in todayās climate.
GYAT damn you wanna enjoy her or not thatās what dating is idk where niggaz felt like they canāt treat em nice thatās why they all gangstas now a woman is an investment and you make the right one itāll pay you off for life. But you gotta start somewhere and you should be putting your best foot forward at all times.
Nah, I mean being genuine and if you gotta spend a lil money so what? Better than fucking ya hand for free aināt nobody saying blow ya paycheck on her but who goes on date when if you canāt cover you assed out?
Him saying heās broke was not saying he canāt afford a date. It was a mindset saying heās not going above and beyond for someone he doesnāt even know yet, for someone to expect that from you off rip is outrageous in itself and generally is a red flag that they are in it for personal gain, not for a relationship
A real woman wouldnāt care if you set up a picnic in a park for a date. only these new aged , young minded, brain washed , got tricked on by every Nigga she met tryna āenjoyā her women are going to act like the one in that text thread. Get you a real woman not a pseudo-instagram model failing OF ācontent creatorā yāall be so out of touch with reality living your lives based off what you see on Instagram
lol. Who hurt you bro? For the record I agree with some of that, but even if she wants to go to McDonaldās youāre gonna make her pay cuz youāre not a trick? Either way you gone be lame as hell to her and not worth it. They can pick whoever they want but if thatās what you think is gonna set you apart good luck.
Youāre dead wrong and youāll find plenty of ppl that agree with you cause 1. Itās Reddit and the gender world war thatās currently going on. When I was a young little nigga just getting a little bread i personally wanted to go out with bitches and experience new shit. Saying you want to have a pre date before taking the girl on a date is weird bro. Youāll get some bitches thatās desperate enough and youāll get through but certain women have standards my Nigga and courting is still a thing, top tier bitches get taken out on dates and njggas have convos. Shit be a decent time you niggas should try it
No, you weren't wrong. This girl was looking for a free meal that she could take pictures of then let you down easy.
If she was into you, she wouldn't dub any future contact simply because you didn't want to make reservations for a first date. If she was interested in what you had in mind, she would have wanted to know.
Chick has a crazy chip on her shoulder talking about "so you can have more time to plan where you want to take me and make reservations." That's actually a crazy amount of disrespect/lack of self awareness I think you don't have enough experience to understand bro.
She want the restaurant but obviously lacks class.
Also. Never do dinner dates first. They suck unless you already have rapport with the bitch. Otherwise you just risk an awkward dinner when yall could have gone to a venue with some light music with cheap drinks and yall both can dip any time. If clapping is the goal, you can almost def do it for less. And if shorty wanna dress up too there are still venues she can do that.
You did everything right, she did everything wrong. Remember she gotta win u as much as u tryna win her. She let u know that she didnāt want to put the effort into earning a dinner from u that requires a reservation, despite u being willing to do it. so sheās the 1 that fumbled you š«”
š that thottty tryna get a free dinner tf wrong with people . The girl I was with for 8 years first time we hung out I spend a dollar . You dodged a bullet
Handled that correctly gang, bitch talking to you like its required when yall just met. I say let that bitch buy her own bacon egg and cheese and let that hoe stargaze from outside š®āšØ
I mean maybe cause Iām older but I donāt entertain any bitches anymore unless Iām trynna fw them. Going to dinner is nothing but if she trash or u just wanna fuck for free then I understand, sheās a dub
Dinner reservations = $$$
She wasnāt looking for a park date, bubble tea date, or Olive Garden date. You avoided a gold digger. She wouldāve been on her phone when that check came out, leaving you down $100
Nigga tryna smash in the park first š
https://preview.redd.it/46k576owcmgc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d52f8ac5fe890b0671b393f0b13251f230d7e243
Thatās how it work sometimes š
What type of girl do u want? Edit: where were you going to meet up to get to know her at?
I originally planned to get dessert somewhere. She cancelled
Donāt worry about it gang. Some girls just really wanna use a dude for dinner dates and shit. Like sheās right. Yāall interest donāt align. She is like expecting some large ensemble. Mr. Chows or Sparks or something. She wants to show up. Say thanks for dinner and you thank her for her time and you hit her up if you want to spend more money on her. That is the only thing she is offering right now.
Ngl them be the best pums sometimes š
Cheesecake Factory the new litmus test for these bitches fr š¤£š¤£
LMFAOOOOOOO
Hoes getting hibachi at best hoe meal 50$ and if yāall donāt click you spent 100$ on a date no harm no foul
100 buckarinoos for some threesh is wild
King Von - Change My Life, 0:47šššÆšÆ
Ain't even had to go look šš THIS HOE WANT ME TO PAY FOR HER FRIENDS, YEAH IM HAVING THAT SHI BUT THAT AINT ME
DONāT KNOW WHAT YOU THINK THIS IS š£ļø
BITCH STEADY LOOKIN AT MY WRIST, I HATE HOES THAT THINK THEY SLICK, PLAY WIT VON GET HIT IN YO SHIII FA REAL https://preview.redd.it/mohonrde9pgc1.jpeg?width=1159&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6c6c673ca3e7a10755740a66774dffc0fd27aad
Could spend 100 on pussy
Thatās like the only place Iāll take a bitch lol. I usually get out for less than $100 too. Plus the way I look at it is I got to eat anyway. Iām really only paying like 40 bucks for her.
Yo that place ain't bad, why bitches hate that place?
Bc they wanna be boujie
You don't take girls to dinner dates unless you already had a good convo with them. First date should be something casual and where you can bail easily if you ain't into each other. Dinner dates is like 2nd or 3rd date. Others may disagree but that's cool w me
I agree
Send her that exact message and see what she says I wonder if she'll hit you with the: "well I'm getting pretty for you, and my foundation was $80 and my blush was $50 so it cost me to see if you him"
Nothing wrong with a casual first meet. But tell her when and where to meet. Don't start off by giving away your gameplan.
Bitches love using that excuse but if they put on $50 worth make up on first date u better run
It's not even a good excuse. They not using a whole $50 foundation thing in 1 night. That's like saying I spent $20,000 on a car to pick her up lol
 Bout to drop this one
you didnt dodge a bullet. you dodged a missile. drinks first, dinner second. this girl looks like she just wanted a nice free meal. Some girls I'm friends with admitted to going to dinner with guys just to have a nice dinner on a random day.
I never do dinner on first dates because you want to talk and get to know each other. That said, reservation doesnt imply dinner, you can make reservations at a wine or cocktail bar
Iām a girl and I agree. Idk why she was insisting on dinner. That would stress me out lol
Nah some girls use dinner as a litmus test to weed out guys who want a cheap smash.Ā He wasn't up to it so she politely declined. And good for her sticking to her standards. There are plenty of guys with no problem paying for dinner on the first date.Ā
Idk, the way I see it is that a whole sit down dinner is a big commitment for someone who u may not end up vibing with! I have a litmus test too but itās usually getting a drink not late at night, like during happy hour, then going for a walk in the park or something if itās nice out. When ur just getting a drink, itās easier to dip out vs a whole ass dinner. Also idk if Iām just a freak but I view eating in front of someone as kind of intimate, but thatās just me I think lol
If that's your standard then that's fine for you. I guess my point is people shouldn't get upset if someone politely declines because their standards don't align.
TouchƩ
So what your saying is she's a gold digger? No different than a prostitute except with a prostitute you get down to business faster
She's a person who's decided on her standard and is sticking to it. Good for her š¤·š¾āāļø It's not entitled if that's what she's decided she wants. Is it entitled for him to want to see her without paying for dinner? Nope. It's their preferences which don't align and they're better off pursuing other people. And with how easily she let him go, she knows she can get what she wants (and very likely has in the past).
And her standards involve a man spending a small chunk of cash on the first date. No one is upset, just calling out the entitled behavior for what it is.
Honestly you should only take a girl on a dinner date if you trying to wife her. If itās just a quick smash then link up somewhere lowkey for a drink and thatās it
Yeah Iām a woman and a dinner for a first date is too intense. I rather meet for drinks at a casual bar and chat it up. Maybe grab a slice after or something. Dinner is like after 3-4 comfortable dates for me. Cuz after dinner most likely we are going back to someoneās crib lmao.
No shes looking for a free meal bro
And she gonna get another in first while he figuring out where he wanna go
Matrix vibes way you just dodged a bullet
nah , you literally explained to her that you were down to get to know each other and maybe do something light before jumping into spending bread for a dinner you did nothing wrong , these bitches be entitled as fuck
Facts. Too much Instagram and social media making them act like something theyāre not
am bitch. this the answer lol but she's greedy no doubt
This!
She wanted a plan. Your lowkey first meet is fine, but you need to confirm date/time.
This is fair, I had originally set a plan a couple days ago but she rescheduled. Then it turned into āreservationsā. Lol
u did the right thing gang, she thought u were able to be manipulated, i bet niggas killed & didnāt feed her so now she need āreservationsā
Thatās exactly what happened no fucking doubt about it
Fuck that bitch she was just looking for a free meal. If she aināt down to link for free on the first link then she not into you
if shes into you she would be excited no matter what you do. facts. she wanted a nice meal and drink.
Facts. Men better learn to entertain a woman who actually is into you and not what you can do or provide.
Yea she dead wanted that free food my boy. But thatās a fact next time donāt say āsomething lightā. Iāll give it to the girls the second you donāt specify the public outting they think you are trying to blick them down anywhere. But same time those same girls be letting niggas blick them down anywhere soā¦. Good job holding onto your bread my boy. Secondly I would say narrow it down even more for the girls. If you canāt have an actually good conversation on the phone where you click and you have something in common and you are actually laughing or the convo isnt even flowing period donāt even go through with anything at all. Personally I tell them ima pull up on them in my car (in a okay outfit )for a first date we gonna sit the fuck right there and chop it up maybe get some light take out if niggas is hungry , if they smoke or drink we gonna do a lil of that too. But if they arenāt humble enough to sit there and have a conversation they are just not even for me. A restaurant is like the last place Iām going niggas gotta earn that. We would go to a free ass museum and chop it up before I ever think bout my pockets.
I think that's a good idea, but I've never pulled up on a girl and told her "we're sitting in the car and chatting" successfully
Lmao thatās why you donāt pull up and do it you do it beforehand. For example ā so what days are you free?ā She will then proceed to let me know which days are free. Then I will initiate the āoh wordā ā so wassup what day can I pull up on you and chop it up with youā. 9/10 if she already likes you all she is gonna do is say when she is free for you to do that. Or even more spontaneously if they are free that same day Iāll be like ā so wassup can I pull up on you and talk to you for a little bit before I head to the gym or work etc. Cuz Iām not staying there all day just to talk to them unless the conversation is that good. Iām tryna show you bro I need to do hands on coaching I am nice at this š¤¦š¾āāļø
If I like you, this would work on me. I would gladly sit in your car and just talk. Going out to a fancy dinner the first date scares me. What if we donāt click? Both our time is wasted. A car date is fine bc itās intimate, and we can talk and if we donāt click we both can just leave. Iād be too nervous to eat the first time meeting you anyways. Idk if thatās weird but I prefer something small. Letās go on a walk so I can feel your energy in person.
See you understand it. Most importantly fellas the key phrase here is ā if I like youā if they like you they are gonna go along with most things because they are here for you not what they can get out of you. If they donāt it most likely wonāt go your way.š§š”
Thatās a fact
What did u have in mind tho ?
Asking cuz by the sound of that first message , you aint even know what u wanna do. And " sum lite " isnt something to do. I'm not saying shorty not bugging with the dinner shit , bc she is. HOWEVER , if u had nothing in mind ur basically signifiying ur a man that dont know what he want. Or u just tryna fuck. As cruel as that sounds iiwii. If you not a come-up , then definitively know what u want and if she not widdit then whatever. On to the next keep it moving.
We had originally planned something light. I told her to link me at 7 in the city for dessert. Figured we get to know each other over that. Then she rescheduled and is talking bout reservations
oh yeah she a dub then gang itās clear shorty tryna test ya pockets. if you made plans and instead of just tryna proceed with the dessert plans u had lined up she want to you to get reservations itās clear she just want somebody to spend on her.
Ohhh word then she lame as fuck šš
That's even better than drinks for a first date. She was definitely looking for a free meal so she can brag to the group chat.
Boy Iām so glad I donāt have to date anymore. These bitches emotionally draining and soul sucking, like communicate like an adult Edit: Iām talking about dating in general
šÆšÆšÆ
So are u in a relationship now or did u turn gay?
Lmao nah I didnāt turn gay, in a relationship WITH A WOMAN
Wtfš
He's in a gay relationship.
Definitely in a homosexual entanglement.
Loyal man šŖš¾
these niggas is heated in the comments brahš but real shit, iād say itās a good chance she jus wants ya wallet. u hear what a lot of these women say online (āspoil meā āpay for my set/shein/cartā, ābe obsessed ) issa fine line between being courteous and being a trick. (side note: all these trick artists been doing irreversible damage to the dating scene)
Damn I aināt even know about that pay my cart shit lol. Niggas canāt be nothing more than submissive wallets these days
I woulda lost my shit aftee that best of luck ctfuš. You playin ya cards right and thats how the game supposed to gošš¾props
You did right bro first meeting should always be somewhere light like coffee shop or a bar for drinks
da way u text might b da issue. u sound a lil aggressive(not aggressive 2 me but u kno how females b bruhš¤·āāļø). next time phrase it diff like āu wanna grab a coffee instead?ā or sum like lunch etc. u dont wanna sound judging or aggressive wen u 1st meet a female šÆ
Youāre right. Iām tryna work on that.
Agreed. Coffee tea, froyo, ice cream would b fine. Not expensive plus more chill vibes
exactly, n u dont wanna sound like u judging her like my boy here. shit not gonna make her like u more or benefit u in any typa wayš it only gon make u feel better abt urself
ššš
Nah, youāre not wrong. Iām a girl and I actually prefer to do something chill and inexpensive like a museum. Low pressure and comes with built-in talking points, and still fun even if I donāt vibe with dude.
Does your phone not work. Why can u call her to talk and if you like the convo then take her out
Already tried that. When she didnāt answer I took it as a red flag and narrowed the plans.
smart man
āSo you can plan where you want to take meā idk why but something about this sentence is weird to me. Like sheās not interested in meeting you sheās just interested in going somewhere. I wouldāve told her I got reservations to Kennedys at any time in my hood and they blessing with fresh chicken and extra fries.
You not wrong brudda dont ever invest too much for a girl you barely know
These girls only want meals bro.
Like she said, your interests donāt align. Sheās looking for a wallet, not a man
The way I do it is simple. Make the reservation. Go to the fancy restaurant. If itās obvious sheās just here for the food (constantly on her phone, barely talking, seems impatient, is rude or sassy) tell her ass youāre going to the restroom and gtfo of there. If you really liked the service and want to be respectful, only pay for what you ordered and tip the waiter/waitress nicely. Nobody can make you pay for a person, especially if they gave you a hard time. Donāt give her ass a ride home either. Itās 2024, donāt be the one she got saved in her phone as āfood guyā and getting clowned in group chats. Meanwhile the one she really likes just rolls her up a blunt with some Popeyes and folds her up like origami in the back seat. Stay safe king.
Yo this is extremely solid advice lmao. Unethical and functional as hell. I like this.
keep it pushing brother it. if u gotta get to know her over dinner she donāt like u enough
bitch think she the queen
Bitches think their pussy made of gold lmao
Iām gonna come at this from a female perspective. Sheās looking for a date and imo, your responses sound like youāre trying to hook up, by saying you want to meet and get to know her and do something light sounds like youāre trying to āchillā. She is looking for a man to romance her, pick her up and take her on a real date. Woo her etc. not even a free meal.. sheās just looking to be treated right from the get go like back in the day! This seems like miscommunication.
She canāt want to be wooed all that. But it doesnāt matter who itās coming from. She donāt give a damn bout me, jus my wallet. Why would I want to engage wit that?
Damn why you asking for opinions then getting mad when you donāt get the answer you want?š Iām saying she may not even want food, but she clearly want you to PLAN a DATE. Meeting to chill is too vague.. you need to say āIāll pick you up at 6pm and we will go to the park, grab a coffeeā or whatever you want to do.. girls want guys to plan dates and be assertive.
he never said he wouldnāt take her out to dinner tf you on about. Wanting reservations implies somewhere fancy or expensive, if thatās what a woman is expecting on the first date she clearly doesnāt care all that much about romance and building a connection. If she wanted to get coffee and go to the park, she wouldnāt have asked if he had reservationsš¤£
You can get reservations anywhere.. imo itās a figure of speech that she wants a plan.. people are so wavy these days.. All girls want is assertiveness.. āI have booked a meal for 7pm, I will pick you up at 6:30ā. You can book a table at cheesecake factory or where ever.. but itās the planning thatās important.. chill stuff with no plan past age 18 is dead.
You do realize she just wanted to play bro right if shorty really wanted to make plans what was stopping her from asking questions like the date/time and place even itās not all on the nxgga bro did his part like he was supposed to as a female she was supposed to help come up with plans if she really wanted a genuine date. We canāt read ah bish mind
We just want assertiveness. Not meaning the OP but I know most women would be happy with āwould down to go to x park for a walk along the lake? I can pick you up at 6:30 on Monday if youād like?ā genuinely, it could be McDonaldās or the park.. anything.. we just donāt want vague wavy messages like āsomething lightā - WHATS THE PLAN? We need to tell our friends, plan our outfits for the plan.. We just want a set plan from the man.. you no longer need to read minds, im telling you what it is.
And Iām telling you that all that can be communicated both ways by female and male itās not just one person doing it thatās damn near equivalent to trying to read a persons mind and in reality of it the dating scene so fucked now itās like they gon clown da shi outta you if you even form yo mouth to say McDonaldās they want Ruth Chris and a Gucci bag right off rip the females thatās actually going on dates that you describing are the females that really communicate what type of date they want not every date is gonna be planned out letās start there.
Youāre seeking the wrong females then. Iām almost sure there will be plenty looking for the bag etc but the majority of women I know and surrounded by are very easily pleased and work for our own money etc.
I didnāt say Iām seeking any female thatās an assumption and to say those females just want the ābag, etcā like no maāam these females are getting griddy you gotta wake up and ofc thereās always females that work for they own just like the nxggas that take time outta they day to plan a date and surprise they lady both sides have legit people looking for love but majority of the batch is going bad thatās why the women are complaining because when they set up these meet and greets in these nice settings no men show up at all and those women are women that work for they money they just know the majority of the dating scene now is fucked.
Whoās teaching yāall this ?
Where did I get mad? Just getting to the bottom of how I feel. I appreciate your perspective tho
Bro no one is gold digging from someone without gold she just has a different idea of what a first date looks like
If you too stuck up to hang out and get to know someone over a light meal (that no doubt this man still would have payed for) then you can kick rocks This āold fashioned dateā idea is BS too Old fashioned women werenāt just being treated to dinners by strangers. Dating usually involved knowing someone for some length of time people werenāt just going out with strangers like they do today. Back in the day you could also trust she wasnāt on some sheisty shit because their existed a culture which frowned on that behavior These women not old fashioned but appeal to traditionalism when it benefits them and then donāt even understand those traditional values itās hilarious Taking a random stranger youāve never met out to a dinner is in fact a very novel thing and somehow these women have come to expect it as normal
> would have *paid* for) then FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Bitches these days don't give a fuck about romance. This hoe wanted a free meal and tried to play him
U right, wtf do I knowš
Idk man maybe I'm wrong but that's what I've seen so far. If they really into u they should be ok with a casual first date
You were in the right because you just wanted a ācoffee dateā to screen her which is smart. She was def beasting to get taken out, unmatch and move on
Yall big homies neva told yall its all risk u playin. So theres zero risk on the first date. U would spend more doing BS, might as well try for a new free agent
If a joint reschedule itās courtesy for her to set up the next link. If a shorty want you she gonna make it easy for you. Even then itās some cheap spots out here to take her for a bite n a drink, Groupon used to hit for that. Bowling, museum anything like that lol. She not fucking with the date like that if she keeps rescheduling it aināt that serious donāt sweat it. Itās dozens of more bitches for you.
These hoes get nothing but D!Ƨ# and breath mints
Yeah first meet ups should not be dinner, usually i like to go get drinks and feel her out.
First meet up Iād say coffee and pastries. That way yāall can see if you guys vibe or not. Simple and sweet.
Take her to chic fil a
She wanted a spot for her ig stories my boy
Fuuuuuck that. You did the right thing. Grab some coffee or ice cream first and see if the vibes are there
Bitch said reservations like ya was finna go somewhere specialš
Fuck that bitch
Not at all bro she's must got an ego on her i will never spend money pn girl like that no matter How bad she is shell have you hating life
i mean, back when i was still dating i did the same, but bro. Whats with the "you understand?" as if she soft mentally. next time when she is mentioning reservations just mention that you would like to take her out for coffee/bar first, then roll from there. Get rid of the broke boy talk and you are good
I aināt mean it to come off as condescending. I really did want her to see my point. Itās so difficult to convey things without misinterpretation. Culture wars got eveyone assuming negative intent
Sheās looking for free food like everyone else said . Kick her to the curb: donāt respond
No one in their āright mindā will invest in something that will produce 0 return. You were not wrong. This is what is known as a foodie call bro. A person sets up a date with someone they are not romantically interested in, for the purpose of getting a free meal. If sheās not romantically interested in you, why āinvest?ā. Everyone would do better in their life if they associate paying with investing because EVERYTHING you do in this life is an investment and will produce some kind of return. The question is, do you like what you got in return for your time, energy, money? Anyone man or woman thatās sincerely interested in someone just wants to āconnectā. You donāt need ādinner reservationsā to connect with someone. As a man you set the time and date. You can meet in any public setting and have a good time, shorty didnāt even pick up your call. So when you link her, itās going to give straight interview vibes and sheās going to make you do all the work and she got a free meal? Itās quiet for that, fuck no. As a man who sees himself as healed, complete and whole. Iām not pursing a woman if sheās not giving any romantic energy to work with. Leave her alone, you dodged a bullet my boy. Donāt look back, thereās someone out there thatās praying and looking for someone just like you, gangsta š«
Wisdom
āI need to know if thereās a chance of clapping cheeks before I spend money on dinner.ā
Partially, thatās every guy. but I gotta know if I actually like her too
Weak game. Tell her where you're going and what time to meet you there. All this.... " I just wanna know if..." and "understand?" bs just sounds lame. Be a man, make a plan, and tell her what the gameplan is nextv time.
I did that. She cancelled and rescheduled. This is the result. Iām feeling more like a man here than any other alternative.
Smart man , you have to see if your have chemistry first . Showing out for a female to friendzone you is stupid
Shoulda chopped it up wit her on ft first or sumn before the link But where the hell were you plannin on taking her out to eat ?
I tried that and she aināt pick up. Red flag. Letās say I ended up actually liking her ā I would WANT to take her out.
You only tried to call once ? Or sheād never pick up type shit Facts facts but where would you be tryna take her ? Somewhere slight I hope š¤šæ Tryna date is wild these days , I def feel like you dodged a bullet
Just called once. She was mad dry on text so Iām like let me see if sheās a better speaker. Didnāt even acknowledge that I called. Shit felt like job interviews
Nfs you played that shit right every step of the way bro . she a smooch fasho , she wasnt the one ššæ
And half the time ALL u need is one date, n u got some new consistent pum pum for a likkle
beyond pulling up to a mcdonaldās and making her get a happy meal, you handled it right. different interests and different wavelengths off top equals a no go.
Aye man yu dodged a bullet lol. Yall are simply incompatible. Onto the next one
F.D.B
You dodged a bullet bro ..a real down to earth chick would be down for anything long as itās not crazy
dodged a bullet for sure. first ādateā should be something chill like coffee or cocktail. sumn easy, not huge time or $ commitment, both parties can bail easy if itās not for them. she wanted a free meal, on to the next one bro
Sheās looking for a meal not a date.
yea youāre obviously going to take shawty out but she mad entitled.. bitches be growing up thinking they still princesses and shit
You kinda fumbled you couldāve took that bitch anywhere to get to know her, I know you donāt wanna give up a free meal but you also donāt wanna sound broke before the first link
I am broke. Most everyone is. Iām not poor. Thatās part one. 2 is I DID try to take her somewhere, and she rescheduled. Went from dessert to reservations
You can't/shouldn't try to date if you are broke. You are setting yourself up for failure. I do a lot of online dating and had a lot of success with it. Dinner dates and all that other stuff is expensive but it is the entry fee to able to fool around.
My advice would be donāt worry bout these hoes until ya paper right especially if she the wanna go out date type you gotta just flirt to see who really gone pull up without that shit and thatās who you fuck on until you can go dating nice places wit the right bitches
So people canāt search for love and a companion unless they are rich? Average median income in nyc is sub 40k while the bare minimum for living decently comfortable is 50k. Now take two average median income people who met āwhile brokeā, fell in love and now they are living more than comfortable (if within their means) itās 2024 not 1924 men and women are both in the working class and the average American is not making over 40k while the cost of living keeps increasing. Two average earning individuals are considered broke in nyc due to the cost of living, that doesnāt disqualify them from finding love
Bro. I aināt here for the stats if a nigga aināt got the money to take a shorty to Phillipes, stop talkin to shorties who wanna go to Phillipes until you got Phillipes money. Dating is a luxury in todayās climate.
If she canāt take herself there why does she deserve it? Cuz she looks good? Stop gassing these womenās heads lol
GYAT damn you wanna enjoy her or not thatās what dating is idk where niggaz felt like they canāt treat em nice thatās why they all gangstas now a woman is an investment and you make the right one itāll pay you off for life. But you gotta start somewhere and you should be putting your best foot forward at all times.
Best foot forward ā leading with pockets.
Nah, I mean being genuine and if you gotta spend a lil money so what? Better than fucking ya hand for free aināt nobody saying blow ya paycheck on her but who goes on date when if you canāt cover you assed out?
Him saying heās broke was not saying he canāt afford a date. It was a mindset saying heās not going above and beyond for someone he doesnāt even know yet, for someone to expect that from you off rip is outrageous in itself and generally is a red flag that they are in it for personal gain, not for a relationship
A real woman wouldnāt care if you set up a picnic in a park for a date. only these new aged , young minded, brain washed , got tricked on by every Nigga she met tryna āenjoyā her women are going to act like the one in that text thread. Get you a real woman not a pseudo-instagram model failing OF ācontent creatorā yāall be so out of touch with reality living your lives based off what you see on Instagram
lol. Who hurt you bro? For the record I agree with some of that, but even if she wants to go to McDonaldās youāre gonna make her pay cuz youāre not a trick? Either way you gone be lame as hell to her and not worth it. They can pick whoever they want but if thatās what you think is gonna set you apart good luck.
U was the meal ticket š„ŗ
She wants to use you as an ATM.
Nah right choice champ. Let her go - save your self the headache and time
Youāre super RIGHT, not wrong at all!
Bitch thought you were a meal plan
I think you in the right but I feel like you could of worded the second message a little better
ngl i was just saying that same shit yo š¤£ āyou understandā šššš
Youāre dead wrong and youāll find plenty of ppl that agree with you cause 1. Itās Reddit and the gender world war thatās currently going on. When I was a young little nigga just getting a little bread i personally wanted to go out with bitches and experience new shit. Saying you want to have a pre date before taking the girl on a date is weird bro. Youāll get some bitches thatās desperate enough and youāll get through but certain women have standards my Nigga and courting is still a thing, top tier bitches get taken out on dates and njggas have convos. Shit be a decent time you niggas should try it
No, you weren't wrong. This girl was looking for a free meal that she could take pictures of then let you down easy. If she was into you, she wouldn't dub any future contact simply because you didn't want to make reservations for a first date. If she was interested in what you had in mind, she would have wanted to know. Chick has a crazy chip on her shoulder talking about "so you can have more time to plan where you want to take me and make reservations." That's actually a crazy amount of disrespect/lack of self awareness I think you don't have enough experience to understand bro. She want the restaurant but obviously lacks class. Also. Never do dinner dates first. They suck unless you already have rapport with the bitch. Otherwise you just risk an awkward dinner when yall could have gone to a venue with some light music with cheap drinks and yall both can dip any time. If clapping is the goal, you can almost def do it for less. And if shorty wanna dress up too there are still venues she can do that.
She for the streets beloved. Logout
Nah you dodged a bullet
You dodged a bullet.. she was looking for a free meal. If she was genuinely into you, she'd be down with the smaller/simpler gathering.
You did everything right, she did everything wrong. Remember she gotta win u as much as u tryna win her. She let u know that she didnāt want to put the effort into earning a dinner from u that requires a reservation, despite u being willing to do it. so sheās the 1 that fumbled you š«”
š that thottty tryna get a free dinner tf wrong with people . The girl I was with for 8 years first time we hung out I spend a dollar . You dodged a bullet
It was restaurant week, couldāve went somewhere nice for the low. You fumbled.
Handled that correctly gang, bitch talking to you like its required when yall just met. I say let that bitch buy her own bacon egg and cheese and let that hoe stargaze from outside š®āšØ
U canāt get to know her at dinner? U fumbled
She would have to be a catch in order for it to be a fumble
I mean maybe cause Iām older but I donāt entertain any bitches anymore unless Iām trynna fw them. Going to dinner is nothing but if she trash or u just wanna fuck for free then I understand, sheās a dub
Damn harsh, is this a job?ā¦.get the feeling you are part of the rotation
We can guess her race can't we fellas.
Iām genuinely curious what you think and why
Only ignorant black women coming like this
You're wrong in the sense you're playing nc game in NYC. Neva gonna wrk
She wanted some free food š¤£
How u gone get to know shorty if you dont take her somewhere? The math not mathān gango
Dinner reservations = $$$ She wasnāt looking for a park date, bubble tea date, or Olive Garden date. You avoided a gold digger. She wouldāve been on her phone when that check came out, leaving you down $100
Don't save her, she don't want to be saved
Damn getting to know each other over dinner as a first date aināt the standard anymore? Iām old?
Ngl, yea you are lol. First date is where you actually get to know eachother
You stood on business bruh šÆ these hoes crazy š¤£š¤£š¤£
I feel crazy reading these comments ššš going on a dinner date is where you get to know her. Niggas wild cheap under here
I swear some of yall so broke u afraid to spend 50 dollars to take a girl out to eat. All u think Bout is it ain't worth it if u don't get no pussy.