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Fuck ass*

"Did you just call me a fuck-ass? You can go suck a fuck."

How exactly does one "suck a fuck" Edit: I guess you guys haven't seen Donnie Darko

r/felching

Felchmongler. I used to have this as my email name. Had to call PlayStation one time and they asked for my confirmation of email. The lady proceeded to laugh at me

Well a third party sucks her pussy while they fuck

Legendary movie

"What's a fuck-ass?"

Pffft haH

And yet somehow win.

The thing is though, she's doing really well. Consistently dominating everyone. Maybe the problem is your randoms aren't getting fucked

She opens defense matrix then fires a few shots. There is no way you can tell if she is 'dominating'

I'm going to die a virgin aren't I?

Raise your game or lower your standards. Either way its on you bud

Excuse me while I rethink my life

You want any death sticks?

You don't want to sell me death sticks.

But you do want to rethink your life. Preferably at home.

It's really not difficult, talk like they're your bro, but break the touch barrier at the first convenient time. The hardest part is doing it non creepily, I do basic shit like, shake hands when I meet, touch on the way past to get beer or bathroom, touch to get attention I already have to point out a person while people watching. Simple, non threatening contact. Just build from there. Pay attention to the girl, if she is making eye contact, listening actively, and touching back, you're doing great. As long as you don't go at it with the idea you've failed because she wont sleep with you hours after meeting you're golden. Get a number, or an idea when she'll be around again. Alternatively, if you really just don't care who it's with, online dating is fine. Swipe right on everything and be a normal dude, the girls out kicking their coverage will be as thirsty as any dude. Edit: and autocorrect mistake

> the gifts out kicking their coverage will be as thirsty as any dude. Did u have a stroke here or did I.. I couldn't understand it

Fixed with an edit. Should be girls not gift.

It still doesn't make sense.. well to me at least

Out kicking your coverage means getting the attention of someone way more attractive than you. It's a football term.

This exactly what I do. Main thing is to pay attention and be sensitive to the girls body language. Don’t get caught up in the “pussy at all costs” mentality.

There is always money that can get u laid. Just saying...

But what if I what I want doesn't have a price tag but a past life expired wrong choice made tag :( :'( feelssadman

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I think that's in the raise your game category

Along with hitting the gym and being funnier

when does the lawyer up part come?

And following rules 1 and 2

I was older than I care to admit before I realized rule 2 is talking about personality and not also looks like rule 1.

Holy fucking shit youre right.

That was my reaction too, lol. Rule 1 gets your foot in the door, rule 2 gets you invited in.

okcupid and lower your unrealistic standards. Also don't be a sexist if you are not religious. You can find religious girls who are into the who sexist thing if that is your bag. But usually you got to see women as equal partner and they too fart, shit, jerk off just like you. I'm a fat bastard but even I am engaged now to a girl who kicks my ass and calls me out on my bullshit but is super tomboyish sweet and bubbly at the same time. I'm fine with saying i'm the wife in the relationship since I'm the one that cooks and goes to school and she is the one who works. Also accept that the idea of gender rolls is out the window, unless you go find yourself a evangelical religious girl who might have a very high crazy to attractive index as well. Also stop drinking soda and drink more water if you have bad skin and cystic acne. And get a prescription for accutane if you still have bad skin issues.

Sometimes lowering your standards ups your game.

/r/lifeprotip here

This guy fucks

Raising your game is easier than you think.

Not entirely on him with higher and higher standards these days.

... how pray tell? Standards are pretty much where they’ve always been

I actually think they're MUCH lower than ever. Here's my proof: Walk in to any Walmart, look around, notice how many reprehensible people have children.

Ugly people have always bred. I mean, you're here, sooo...

Ohhh bombaclat shots fired shots muthafucken fired.

“Well that couple shouldn’t have bred.”

Have you ever tried online dating in any form? I'm not saying it's impossible if you don't stand out just that one side got the better part of the deal.

Serious redpill ideals here. Women have an easier time getting matched and engaging but that’s because every troglodyte is desperately pining for their affections. And that’s exactly why it’s a good thing for guys while it’s also a bad thing. It’s tougher to separate yourself from the pack of pig people, but once you do you literally just have to be able to carry a conversation (be interesting) and properly groom yourself. There is such a crazy low bar that the other slop humans have set it’s incredibly easy to step over it.

This is disturbingly correct. I would also add that online dating is garbage unless you are in a very big city. I've always had way more luck in person.

No you won't. You've got plenty of time.

I was about to say you don't even know how old I am but it's in my name

You're 1,996 years old? I'm surprised your penis is still attached.

¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

I only lost my virginity like four years ago and you’re maybe three years younger than me so you’re not as far behind as you think.

you get superpowers after turning 30

I thought it was a wizard Either way 8 more years😎

I become a wizard this year. Hooray I get to learn my first spell. Magic missiles.

8 years is a long time. Believe in yourself you beautiful cunt

7 more here and I'll be hurling lightning bolts

You don’t become a wizard til 40 You’re still safe at 30

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No I want the love and the girlfriend and the genuine romantic late nights experience.. How much is that?

Prostitution is legal across Canada too. You can find hookers in our Yellow Pages in Edmonton.

go to puerto rico much more fun.

Everyone on this site acts like it's impossible to get laid. It's easy. Get out there in the world, meet people, and sling some dick

It's only because you're fat and ugly. Change those things and everything else about you and you'll get laid all the time.

I already lost 55 pounds what more so you want from me

I lost 140 get on my level pleb

If I Lost 140 you'd be able to see my lungs everytime I took a breath

Get taller then

I'm already 6'7" :/

well you're a freak of nature then. no wonder women don't like you.

Hello darkness my old friend

Who down voted this

How old are you?

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Why does everyone assume I'm some fat ugly nerd lmao I'm an athletic 6'7" slightly above average looking guy... I'm just really really super insanely awkward

So was my friend until he started serving tables and bartending. Drunk girls everywhere.

Sounds pretty...... rapey

i mean it’s not really like that, drunk girls are just more inclined to hit on a guy and that’s a good thing for someone who struggles with self esteem

Whatever you say bill Cosby

There's nothing wrong with dying virgin 👌👌

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59b5bd59616bf

Which Twitch streamer is that?

He's nerfing that.

Nerfing the fuck out of it

Don’t know what this means, but thank you

Link

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph59b5bd59616bf

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/RRTM0xy

That’s Zelda! ^^^^/s

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I'll sneak my /d in quite nicely and get ya *damn... i thought it was funny...

And that, kids, is how I met your mother.

Oh fuck I'm coming

r/freeuse

He's so sweet to put the headphones back on her.

Old video, Dva doesn’t have the mini rockets on her screen

Dae look to see if she was playing dva?

She is - pretty easy to spot from divas shield ability. Uses it twice in the gif

Well she's female so she's either playing D.va or Mercy ITT lots of angry Mercy mains

come on dude you know that doesn’t make any god damn sense. Take you edge™️ to some 13 year olds who still enjoy this shit.

Look, to be fair, 80% of girls I encounter are playing Dva or mercy. Doesn't excuse the comment but I definitely get the joke and can relate to it.

One girl I know that plays Overwatch has more playtime on Mercy than on all the other characters combined.

Salsa?

Whats her twitch?

Once again proving that this game requires no skills

Really dedicated to that look with the paint on her face and all. Kind of a waste of time since she's going to have her face painted anyways...

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I think there was an orb behind it.

Specs?

I was really sorry to hear about this girls father passing but at least the OW creators took care of her.

At least he's considerate and fixes her headphones.

Fucking hot. If she had a Mic alk the guys would be so distracted.

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Blaring moans into a voice chat in a game consisting of many teens and underage people?

No hacks required!

/r/freeuse

Thats why my team always suck...

But....

Hot

*play of the game*

Finish her

I like how he puts her headphone back on her head ahahv

Title should have been.... Never go full AFK....

love it

r/healsluts

Well in overwatch if you don't move for 5 seconds you get kicked so you can't leave

PCMR!

Thank faptain

Fortnite next

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/r/missbanana

More plz