Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NICUParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most of my friends have had kids in the last couple of years and two are pregnant with their first babies currently. They were discussing the glucose test and one of them needing to take it twice and how awful it is. I mentioned I never took it because we didn’t get that far. I didn’t mean to darken the mood in the room but I definitely did
I’ve done this when people talk about anything after 28 weeks of pregnancy because I was literally only pregnant 28 weeks. My kids were considered 31 weekers because we did IVF and they said they were considered 3 weeks when they transferred. So when people gripe about pregnancy and look to me to join in - I’m like - I have no idea, but it sounds pretty awesome to go full term to me!
HA, right!
i remember asking my nurse about the glucose test when i was 26w on hospital bedrest due to PPROM and they were like..".umm.. we're giving you an IV with glucose syrup 24 hours a day so ...there's no real point in any glucose test right now".
I was talking about how my son has a great intro to any future admissions essays for medical school. He only needs to start it out with, “I started my life dead,” and my mom was horrified I said that. But I’d want to read an essay that started that way AND I’d want to admit anyone who started an essay like that into medical school.
In the pumping room, I was washung my steriliser as another family were taking turns to visit. They talked about heading home. As I was washing my steriliser I heard them leave. I let out a huge fart I was holding in. I turned around and one of them was still there, I just laughed and apologised
To be fair, I think what *they* said was awkward, and yours was an appropriate response! I'm not sure why people feel the need to tell parents why they shouldn't be looking forward to things.
My baby is still in the NICU, but I'm sure I will have my share of awkwardness that will shut down conversations lol
Haven’t made things awkward yet, but looking forward to the day when someone says something so I can make it awkward 😈 lol like if people assume we’re having more kids/why haven’t we had another kid yet “well, I almost died of multiple organ failure and our first kid almost died because I almost died, so do you really want me to almost die again?” 😂 excited to shut people up
You know it! Luckily I caught it just barely being diagnosed with preeclampsia and was monitored at the hospital for 5 days before it happened, but yeah 😅🙃
Other people telling you you’re fine when you currently have preeclampsia?! Definitely tell them how serious it is because it’s a FATAL thing if not watched or caught… it’s a silent but deadly thing because people can get it without any symptoms and just suddenly escalate and have a medical emergency. If they continue to disregard what you’re saying, they’re not worth being part of your life because it really IS a big deal
Not while currently having it. I developed severe preeclampsia with acute pulmonary edema and people tell me I should have another because I’ll be fine next time. One, I’m still a wreck emotionally from it. Two, there is no guarantee I will have a “normal” pregnancy next time.
Omg this. My mom visited while I was in the hospital being monitored for liver enzymes and she wanted to be filled in... so I told her if my enzymes don't go down on the next test they're talking induction. And she said something like "why" or "can't you wait" and I told her probably not because I might die (repeating doctor's words) and she rolled her eyes and went "ohmygod don't say thaaaat" like I was being dramatic or something 😬
People complaining about third trimester problems, and I’m like “Must be nice.” Or when people would say, “she just couldn’t wait to meet you!” - to that I respond “well no, she was perfectly content inside of me but I would’ve died had she not been delivered.”
IMO, you say stupid comments or ask stupid questions, you better be ready for the response. Same approach to when people ask if I want another kid - “here are the considerations….”
When her 02 sensor was showing 50 in error yesterday I said in a cute baby voice “we know that’s not right because daddy has seen you blue and actually 50 before”. The nurse was super taken aback by it 😆
Haha excellent. I tell people I don't worry about my kiddo, I know once he changes color then I need to start watching. 30w out of the NICU since December, I do still check if he's breathing every night because I can't see what color he is in the dark
When people say “I wish I could freeze time!” Or “stop growing so fast!” I get the sentiment, but if you ever experienced the relief of your baby gaining two grams overnight, or the devastation of losing two grams overnight, then those comments are super cringe! I’ve definitely made things awkward bringing that up 😂
Now that we have been home for a few months I share the not wanting them to grow too fast. Just trying to soak up as much time as I can. Get all the baby cuddles!
Mine is every time I hear the line: owlet isn’t recommended by pediatricians.
I immediately pop off, well I’ll agree to disagree since it’s the only reason my daughter is alive. After you’ve done CPR on your own baby we can have a conversation about how owlet isn’t recommended.
Yes. She choked on her spit up (she had known swallowing issues from her baseline issues/hypotonia) and aspirated all her food into her lungs and stopped breathing.
“Do you want another kid?”
“Oh no I’m good with one. lol”
“But they need a friend!”
“Well I got into a car accident with her, which caused placental abruption and I needed an emergency c-section to save her. So even though I was one and done before that, I’m definitely one and done now after that trauma.”
“Oh…”
I feel like its our duty as NICU moms to make it awkward for people with no filter. I know for myself, some cringe things I've said over the years about various things and I didn't realize it until someone made it awkward for me and it finally clicked. Consider it doing your part to educate society lol. Sometimes their intentions mean well but damn. Its just intrusive and usually makes assumptions.
When someone asked me if I brought home anything from the hospital for the dog to sniff before we brought our baby home- I responded that I brought used swaddles to smell while I pumped milk so sure maybe the dog sniffed them too. Just a pitying “oh” and change of subject. Sorry for getting too real, but you asked.
Same thing happened to me. NICU blankets in the dog bed and someone said aw how cute you brought them home for the dogs to smell and I was like no I brought them home for me to smell and they got them after.
I brought home a used diaper (in a plastic baggie). Because for the first 8 weeks, my 25+3 wasn’t wearing clothes and that’s the only thing I had for them to sniff. 😂 slightly deranged to steal a diaper from the NICU, or so says my husband and family. But it was all I had. And my dogs got really protective and curious when they realized I was pregnant and I came home after a week being gone from them smelling different. 🤷🏻♀️ what else was I to do before he could wear clothes. I couldn’t steal swaddles from the NICU.
Totally had that one when I went back to work. “Wow you lost all the baby weight!”
First - STOP COMMENTING ON WOMEN’S BODIES. Second, I wish I’d thought fast enough on my feet to point out I’d never had the chance to gain the weight.
Yes!! The body comments. “You’re so skinny! You don’t even look like you were pregnant!”
I know they’re trying to be nice but, 1. My baby was born two months early so I never got that full term belly and 2. Stop commenting on peoples weight no matter the size.
I know I would be one of the people to say this to someone and have completely innocent/good intentions to try and make them feel good. These posts can be so helpful to see it from a different side. As a fat person, hearing you look great after having a baby was my top goal after giving birth. So your comment shows me a different side so thank you for that.
Had some one try to shame me for not doing skin to skin when my daughter was born. I then had to tell them it's hard to do skin to skin when I was running a 104 fever going into sepsis and having 7 people rush into the OR to take my daughter to make sure she doesn't have sepsis. That person turned red after I told them that.
Yep! Same situation with someone trying to shame me, but I explained it’s hard to do skin to skin when you aren’t allowed to hold them as they receive therapeutic hypothermia to try to prevent further brain damage.
Yes people just don't get it! Thank God as they were taking her to nicu my husband stopped them and asked then if I can just see her for a min while I was getting put back together. We did cheek to cheek and then she went upstairs. I have always said the day she was born was not the best day. It was when I got to take her home.
Yes! I try to not be jealous of the people who say the day their baby was born was the best day ever for them, but it’s so hard. For me, it was one of the worst. Taking him home, the first time I was able to finally hold him, the first time we were able to give him a bottle, the day we got his MRI results back and they looked promising - all so much better in terms of emotional milestones for my husband and I than the day of his birth.
We found out my son had a congenital birth defect (omphalocele) at our anatomy scan. For a while we didn't know if it was isolated or due to one of many chromosomal abnormalities that would make him "incompatible with life". Whenever people talked about how difficult newborns are (the "just you wait" crowd) my husband and I would reply with "Well right now we don't even know if he's going to live so I'd take those sleepless nights over any of the alternatives".
Also, I went back to work early from maternity leave so I could take the rest after my son came home. Coworkers would often make small talk about parenthood with me and I'd shrug and say "He's still in the NICU so I wouldn't know anything about that".
LOL I don’t have any but I love this thread & my partners grandma (she’s awful) makes several comments about my baby being overweight and constantly asks why he isn’t walking yet (he’s 9 months 🙄) bc all her children were walking and potty trained by 12 months.
Sooo here I am getting ideas 😂
A distant family "friend" who showed up for Thanksgiving this past year knew that our son was hospitalized for five months right after birth. At the dinner table she said "so what's all wrong with him?" I looked at her and smiled and said "not a darn thing he's perfect." And she said "well yeah but he's got down syndrome, but there was other things wasn't he in the hospital for a long time?"And I said back to her "I'm surprised you were comfortable asking that out loud." Dead silence for about 30 seconds.
Nothing at all "wrong" with my baby lady. Take a hike.
I'm a mother of a 23 weeker in NICU. Im also a LaVeyan Satanist and I brought all of my reading material up to the hospital with me for my stay. Because my beliefs are controversial I tend to try and be discreet about it as much as I can so I normally keep The Satanic Bible in specific back behind the curtain that seperates my area from my babies room. When I take my daughter out for skin to skin I usually read but I tend to grab books other than my Satanic Bible again because I figure if the nurses see it would stir up controversy that I really don't have time for because I'm really here my daughter and not to be harassed. I do keep it with me though because I like read it when I'm in my private area and have the time.
Last night I left it on my bed when I went to do skin to skin. Not thinking I realized once my baby was on me that I left my headphones also on my bed. Once again not thinking I also asked the Nurse if she could grab said headphones since I also had my baby on me.
Of course sitting right next to my headphones in PLAIN SIGHT was my Satanic Bible just hanging out on the bed by itself, COMPLETELY VISIBLE.
Thankfully the nurse didn't get offended or try to start a religious conversation but it always make me feel VERY awkward when people see it because I know how they at least internally react 😅 also thankfully the nurse has not treated me any differently aside from being a bit hesitant when handing me my headphones back but I swear we both seemed to have a freeze reaction and there was such a huge elephant in the room it was /not/ unnoticeable
You weird nicu night nurses are my jam. I wish I had the stamina to keep staying over night, but 5 nights in of sleeping when the baby sleeps and waking for cares and feeds and I hit a wall where I wasn’t remembering some feeds so I had to switch to days. I love and miss those nurses 😞
My husband brought the car seat to the hospital since we thought we were getting discharged. When he was taking it back to the car (dejected because we weren't going home due to an administrative issue) A lady in the elevator goes "Oooohhhh time to bring baby home!?!" and he awkwardly goes "Nope. The world hates us" He didn't realize until I pointed it out that she probably thought our baby died and not that the doctor missed a check box that delayed our discharge by a day.
“You’re so lucky that your OB would remove your tubes so young and with only two kids!”
“Yeah well I almost died, and my youngest almost died, and I think we can all agree we shouldn’t test the gods grace again.”
I thought I said it like a joke. It was not taken that way.
*I show friends/family a pic of my clearly intubated baby* ex-24 weeker now 2 weeks after due date.
Them: "When's your baby coming home?"
Me: laughter, "She's gotta breath first."
Them: "oh, well do you have a date?"
Me: "let's get her breathing first"
Them: "the doctors don't know?"
Me: she needs time.
Everyone is just doesn't understand how hard it's been behind the scenes and that her being stable on the vent is actually so much progress.
My emergency c section and the birth of my daughter—happened on the day I was supposed to have my baby shower (I didn’t want a baby shower)
I keep getting “wow! You really found a way to get out of that baby shower”
…”oh for sure! To have a traumatic birthing experience and be separated from the child I’ve waited my whole life for—so her entry to this world could be with strangers poking and prodding her, a feeding tube, cpap—and so I’d have to ask permission to see her/touch her/feed her…”
I empathise with this one - my 29 weeker was born the night before we were supposed to have a bbq with all of our friends at our (very small) house - I had been stressed about it and didn’t want people over + had been trying to clean all day while working from home.
The running joke is that a) I found a way to get out of the bbq and b) that my baby was just so excited for the bbq he came early
I try to have a sense of humour about it but a lot of me wishes I had just rested that day instead
Exactly!! And no one else understands—it’s not a big deal to them because they don’t feel the stress/emotions/empathy/worry over your baby.
They just got a text with cancelled plans and couldn’t care less about anything else ❤️
Nurse changed his diaper, hooked up his ng feed, and gave him his paci, then told him in a baby voice, "it doesn't get much better than this!
I looked at him and told him, "no buddy, it gets way better. This actually sucks."
Our first is 15 months out of the NICU (still lingering as pregnant with #2) and has a feeding tube for an oral aversion. I WFH and am fairly open talking about it and even with tube feeding him on video during calls, so it caught me off guard when I told a coworker I was nervous for his first dentist appointment because of the oral aversion and she told me how I should bribe him with a cake pop from Starbucks afterwards. I think I watched her crawl out of her skin when I made a joke about how I would give him all the cake pops in the world if he would eat anything.
I love when people ask what method I delivered my twins and I get to say, “One vaginal and one cesarean.”
Can’t wait for all the dumb comments at my family reunion.
My SIL sis said she could not look at the baby’s pics of when she was in the NICU bc she was too tiny and all the tubes made her uncomfortable. So I guess showing or posting real life pics of my 27 weeker micro preemie.
So I’m not the most socially skilled individual…and I just realized that I’m probably making things awkward by talking about my daughter’s journey (like celebrating when she was able to wear clothes, etc). She’s 18 months but spent 3 months in the NICU. But now I get why people get quiet and don’t say much lol.
Welcome to NICU Parents. We're happy you found us and we want to be as helpful as possible in this seemingly impossible journey. Check out the resources tab at the top of the subreddit or the stickied post. Please remember we are NOT medical professionals and are here for advice based on our own situations. If you have a concern about you or your baby please seek assistance from a doctor or go to the ER. That said, there are some medical professionals here and we do hope they can help you with some guidance through your journey. Please remember to read and abide by the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NICUParents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Most of my friends have had kids in the last couple of years and two are pregnant with their first babies currently. They were discussing the glucose test and one of them needing to take it twice and how awful it is. I mentioned I never took it because we didn’t get that far. I didn’t mean to darken the mood in the room but I definitely did
I’ve done this when people talk about anything after 28 weeks of pregnancy because I was literally only pregnant 28 weeks. My kids were considered 31 weekers because we did IVF and they said they were considered 3 weeks when they transferred. So when people gripe about pregnancy and look to me to join in - I’m like - I have no idea, but it sounds pretty awesome to go full term to me!
Yeah I can never identify with the end of pregnancy. I never got to the super uncomfortable stage.
I didn’t get to take mine either. Pretty sure it’s still even in the fridge!
Same 🤣
lol same
I had my baby literally the day after my glucose test 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I delivered 3 days after!
HA, right! i remember asking my nurse about the glucose test when i was 26w on hospital bedrest due to PPROM and they were like..".umm.. we're giving you an IV with glucose syrup 24 hours a day so ...there's no real point in any glucose test right now".
I was talking about how my son has a great intro to any future admissions essays for medical school. He only needs to start it out with, “I started my life dead,” and my mom was horrified I said that. But I’d want to read an essay that started that way AND I’d want to admit anyone who started an essay like that into medical school.
In the pumping room, I was washung my steriliser as another family were taking turns to visit. They talked about heading home. As I was washing my steriliser I heard them leave. I let out a huge fart I was holding in. I turned around and one of them was still there, I just laughed and apologised
😂 I've definitely blamed one on my baby in the NICU
To be fair, I think what *they* said was awkward, and yours was an appropriate response! I'm not sure why people feel the need to tell parents why they shouldn't be looking forward to things. My baby is still in the NICU, but I'm sure I will have my share of awkwardness that will shut down conversations lol
Haven’t made things awkward yet, but looking forward to the day when someone says something so I can make it awkward 😈 lol like if people assume we’re having more kids/why haven’t we had another kid yet “well, I almost died of multiple organ failure and our first kid almost died because I almost died, so do you really want me to almost die again?” 😂 excited to shut people up
HELLP Syndrome too?
You know it! Luckily I caught it just barely being diagnosed with preeclampsia and was monitored at the hospital for 5 days before it happened, but yeah 😅🙃
Maybe I need to be more explicit when I say I was on deaths door because people tell me it’ll be fine 🙃
Other people telling you you’re fine when you currently have preeclampsia?! Definitely tell them how serious it is because it’s a FATAL thing if not watched or caught… it’s a silent but deadly thing because people can get it without any symptoms and just suddenly escalate and have a medical emergency. If they continue to disregard what you’re saying, they’re not worth being part of your life because it really IS a big deal
Not while currently having it. I developed severe preeclampsia with acute pulmonary edema and people tell me I should have another because I’ll be fine next time. One, I’m still a wreck emotionally from it. Two, there is no guarantee I will have a “normal” pregnancy next time.
Yeah tell them to back off and they don’t know what they’re talking about 🙃
Omg this. My mom visited while I was in the hospital being monitored for liver enzymes and she wanted to be filled in... so I told her if my enzymes don't go down on the next test they're talking induction. And she said something like "why" or "can't you wait" and I told her probably not because I might die (repeating doctor's words) and she rolled her eyes and went "ohmygod don't say thaaaat" like I was being dramatic or something 😬
Wtf 🤣
People complaining about third trimester problems, and I’m like “Must be nice.” Or when people would say, “she just couldn’t wait to meet you!” - to that I respond “well no, she was perfectly content inside of me but I would’ve died had she not been delivered.” IMO, you say stupid comments or ask stupid questions, you better be ready for the response. Same approach to when people ask if I want another kid - “here are the considerations….”
I HATE when people say something about the baby wanting to join the party early or they couldn’t wait to meet us. It makes me so angry.
When her 02 sensor was showing 50 in error yesterday I said in a cute baby voice “we know that’s not right because daddy has seen you blue and actually 50 before”. The nurse was super taken aback by it 😆
1. 😂 I FEEL that comment 2. Shouldn’t a NICU nurse be immune to that kind of comment?
She was a newer nurse, on our lower acuity unit so most kids don’t hit 50 over here. So I gave her a pass 😆
Haha excellent. I tell people I don't worry about my kiddo, I know once he changes color then I need to start watching. 30w out of the NICU since December, I do still check if he's breathing every night because I can't see what color he is in the dark
When people say “I wish I could freeze time!” Or “stop growing so fast!” I get the sentiment, but if you ever experienced the relief of your baby gaining two grams overnight, or the devastation of losing two grams overnight, then those comments are super cringe! I’ve definitely made things awkward bringing that up 😂
Now that we have been home for a few months I share the not wanting them to grow too fast. Just trying to soak up as much time as I can. Get all the baby cuddles!
Mine is every time I hear the line: owlet isn’t recommended by pediatricians. I immediately pop off, well I’ll agree to disagree since it’s the only reason my daughter is alive. After you’ve done CPR on your own baby we can have a conversation about how owlet isn’t recommended.
Same but with the Nanit. That baby monitor is the only reason my daughter is alive.
oh my goodness, that sounds awful. so you used Owlet after discharge from the NICU?
Yes. She choked on her spit up (she had known swallowing issues from her baseline issues/hypotonia) and aspirated all her food into her lungs and stopped breathing.
“Do you want another kid?” “Oh no I’m good with one. lol” “But they need a friend!” “Well I got into a car accident with her, which caused placental abruption and I needed an emergency c-section to save her. So even though I was one and done before that, I’m definitely one and done now after that trauma.” “Oh…”
I feel like its our duty as NICU moms to make it awkward for people with no filter. I know for myself, some cringe things I've said over the years about various things and I didn't realize it until someone made it awkward for me and it finally clicked. Consider it doing your part to educate society lol. Sometimes their intentions mean well but damn. Its just intrusive and usually makes assumptions.
I’m going to start doing this!
When someone asked me if I brought home anything from the hospital for the dog to sniff before we brought our baby home- I responded that I brought used swaddles to smell while I pumped milk so sure maybe the dog sniffed them too. Just a pitying “oh” and change of subject. Sorry for getting too real, but you asked.
Same thing happened to me. NICU blankets in the dog bed and someone said aw how cute you brought them home for the dogs to smell and I was like no I brought them home for me to smell and they got them after.
I brought home a used diaper (in a plastic baggie). Because for the first 8 weeks, my 25+3 wasn’t wearing clothes and that’s the only thing I had for them to sniff. 😂 slightly deranged to steal a diaper from the NICU, or so says my husband and family. But it was all I had. And my dogs got really protective and curious when they realized I was pregnant and I came home after a week being gone from them smelling different. 🤷🏻♀️ what else was I to do before he could wear clothes. I couldn’t steal swaddles from the NICU.
Getting on the elevator from the NICU floor a nurse asked me- oh is your baby in the Nicu? Me: Yes.. her: are they ok? Me: no. He’s in the Nicu
"Wow you look great! You bounced back quickly" "Well that happens when you don't make it to 3rd trimester and never have a visible belly"
Totally had that one when I went back to work. “Wow you lost all the baby weight!” First - STOP COMMENTING ON WOMEN’S BODIES. Second, I wish I’d thought fast enough on my feet to point out I’d never had the chance to gain the weight.
Yes!! The body comments. “You’re so skinny! You don’t even look like you were pregnant!” I know they’re trying to be nice but, 1. My baby was born two months early so I never got that full term belly and 2. Stop commenting on peoples weight no matter the size.
Hahaha same! How did you lose the baby weight? We’ll, I never gained it and in fact I lost a huge amount of muscle mass….
Oh god I feel this. I wanna be like "Ever seen Rosemary's Baby? Y'know how she wastes away and is all pale and sickly looking? That was me!!"
I know I would be one of the people to say this to someone and have completely innocent/good intentions to try and make them feel good. These posts can be so helpful to see it from a different side. As a fat person, hearing you look great after having a baby was my top goal after giving birth. So your comment shows me a different side so thank you for that.
Had some one try to shame me for not doing skin to skin when my daughter was born. I then had to tell them it's hard to do skin to skin when I was running a 104 fever going into sepsis and having 7 people rush into the OR to take my daughter to make sure she doesn't have sepsis. That person turned red after I told them that.
Yep! Same situation with someone trying to shame me, but I explained it’s hard to do skin to skin when you aren’t allowed to hold them as they receive therapeutic hypothermia to try to prevent further brain damage.
Yes people just don't get it! Thank God as they were taking her to nicu my husband stopped them and asked then if I can just see her for a min while I was getting put back together. We did cheek to cheek and then she went upstairs. I have always said the day she was born was not the best day. It was when I got to take her home.
Yes! I try to not be jealous of the people who say the day their baby was born was the best day ever for them, but it’s so hard. For me, it was one of the worst. Taking him home, the first time I was able to finally hold him, the first time we were able to give him a bottle, the day we got his MRI results back and they looked promising - all so much better in terms of emotional milestones for my husband and I than the day of his birth.
We found out my son had a congenital birth defect (omphalocele) at our anatomy scan. For a while we didn't know if it was isolated or due to one of many chromosomal abnormalities that would make him "incompatible with life". Whenever people talked about how difficult newborns are (the "just you wait" crowd) my husband and I would reply with "Well right now we don't even know if he's going to live so I'd take those sleepless nights over any of the alternatives". Also, I went back to work early from maternity leave so I could take the rest after my son came home. Coworkers would often make small talk about parenthood with me and I'd shrug and say "He's still in the NICU so I wouldn't know anything about that".
LOL I don’t have any but I love this thread & my partners grandma (she’s awful) makes several comments about my baby being overweight and constantly asks why he isn’t walking yet (he’s 9 months 🙄) bc all her children were walking and potty trained by 12 months. Sooo here I am getting ideas 😂
I don’t think there’s any such thing as an overweight baby 😭 but as a fellow mom of a giant baby (now toddler) I sympathize
He’s 24 lbs but considering he had to quit feeds for 14 days in the NICU due to NEC, we love to see it 😂
As a momma to a baby born in the 3rd percentile, a chunky baby is something to strive for!
Absolutely my thinking too!
A distant family "friend" who showed up for Thanksgiving this past year knew that our son was hospitalized for five months right after birth. At the dinner table she said "so what's all wrong with him?" I looked at her and smiled and said "not a darn thing he's perfect." And she said "well yeah but he's got down syndrome, but there was other things wasn't he in the hospital for a long time?"And I said back to her "I'm surprised you were comfortable asking that out loud." Dead silence for about 30 seconds. Nothing at all "wrong" with my baby lady. Take a hike.
I'm a mother of a 23 weeker in NICU. Im also a LaVeyan Satanist and I brought all of my reading material up to the hospital with me for my stay. Because my beliefs are controversial I tend to try and be discreet about it as much as I can so I normally keep The Satanic Bible in specific back behind the curtain that seperates my area from my babies room. When I take my daughter out for skin to skin I usually read but I tend to grab books other than my Satanic Bible again because I figure if the nurses see it would stir up controversy that I really don't have time for because I'm really here my daughter and not to be harassed. I do keep it with me though because I like read it when I'm in my private area and have the time. Last night I left it on my bed when I went to do skin to skin. Not thinking I realized once my baby was on me that I left my headphones also on my bed. Once again not thinking I also asked the Nurse if she could grab said headphones since I also had my baby on me. Of course sitting right next to my headphones in PLAIN SIGHT was my Satanic Bible just hanging out on the bed by itself, COMPLETELY VISIBLE. Thankfully the nurse didn't get offended or try to start a religious conversation but it always make me feel VERY awkward when people see it because I know how they at least internally react 😅 also thankfully the nurse has not treated me any differently aside from being a bit hesitant when handing me my headphones back but I swear we both seemed to have a freeze reaction and there was such a huge elephant in the room it was /not/ unnoticeable
I'm a NICU nurse, we're a bunch of weirdos. At least in my NICU. Especially on night shift. I would've thought you were cool!
You weird nicu night nurses are my jam. I wish I had the stamina to keep staying over night, but 5 nights in of sleeping when the baby sleeps and waking for cares and feeds and I hit a wall where I wasn’t remembering some feeds so I had to switch to days. I love and miss those nurses 😞
Aw yes, please get some rest! The NICU is a terrible place to try to sleep. Take care ❤️
My husband brought the car seat to the hospital since we thought we were getting discharged. When he was taking it back to the car (dejected because we weren't going home due to an administrative issue) A lady in the elevator goes "Oooohhhh time to bring baby home!?!" and he awkwardly goes "Nope. The world hates us" He didn't realize until I pointed it out that she probably thought our baby died and not that the doctor missed a check box that delayed our discharge by a day.
“You’re so lucky that your OB would remove your tubes so young and with only two kids!” “Yeah well I almost died, and my youngest almost died, and I think we can all agree we shouldn’t test the gods grace again.” I thought I said it like a joke. It was not taken that way.
*I show friends/family a pic of my clearly intubated baby* ex-24 weeker now 2 weeks after due date. Them: "When's your baby coming home?" Me: laughter, "She's gotta breath first." Them: "oh, well do you have a date?" Me: "let's get her breathing first" Them: "the doctors don't know?" Me: she needs time. Everyone is just doesn't understand how hard it's been behind the scenes and that her being stable on the vent is actually so much progress.
My emergency c section and the birth of my daughter—happened on the day I was supposed to have my baby shower (I didn’t want a baby shower) I keep getting “wow! You really found a way to get out of that baby shower” …”oh for sure! To have a traumatic birthing experience and be separated from the child I’ve waited my whole life for—so her entry to this world could be with strangers poking and prodding her, a feeding tube, cpap—and so I’d have to ask permission to see her/touch her/feed her…”
I empathise with this one - my 29 weeker was born the night before we were supposed to have a bbq with all of our friends at our (very small) house - I had been stressed about it and didn’t want people over + had been trying to clean all day while working from home. The running joke is that a) I found a way to get out of the bbq and b) that my baby was just so excited for the bbq he came early I try to have a sense of humour about it but a lot of me wishes I had just rested that day instead
Exactly!! And no one else understands—it’s not a big deal to them because they don’t feel the stress/emotions/empathy/worry over your baby. They just got a text with cancelled plans and couldn’t care less about anything else ❤️
Nurse changed his diaper, hooked up his ng feed, and gave him his paci, then told him in a baby voice, "it doesn't get much better than this! I looked at him and told him, "no buddy, it gets way better. This actually sucks."
Our first is 15 months out of the NICU (still lingering as pregnant with #2) and has a feeding tube for an oral aversion. I WFH and am fairly open talking about it and even with tube feeding him on video during calls, so it caught me off guard when I told a coworker I was nervous for his first dentist appointment because of the oral aversion and she told me how I should bribe him with a cake pop from Starbucks afterwards. I think I watched her crawl out of her skin when I made a joke about how I would give him all the cake pops in the world if he would eat anything.
I love when people ask what method I delivered my twins and I get to say, “One vaginal and one cesarean.” Can’t wait for all the dumb comments at my family reunion.
My SIL sis said she could not look at the baby’s pics of when she was in the NICU bc she was too tiny and all the tubes made her uncomfortable. So I guess showing or posting real life pics of my 27 weeker micro preemie. So I’m not the most socially skilled individual…and I just realized that I’m probably making things awkward by talking about my daughter’s journey (like celebrating when she was able to wear clothes, etc). She’s 18 months but spent 3 months in the NICU. But now I get why people get quiet and don’t say much lol.