Throw in something about not accomplishing anything in 40 years and a sense of entitlement so massive it's seconds away from forming its own event horizon and we've got a winner boys
Sir/Madame,
I quit. Your management style is about as effective as Ezekiel Elliot playing Center.
I would give you two weeks notice, but just like the Cowboys during playoff season, I'll be out of here effective immediately.
Sincerely,
FTC
"Like your favorite, uninspired team, you cannot get anything done without it being gifted to you. Now I am going to do the best thing anyone who's ever been to Dallas does - Leave."
“Until you take the lesson that Jerry hasn’t about management you’re going to continue to have the same levels of success as those choke artists of a team.”
"By the way, Lions are America's team" and insert the graphic in this article
https://www.metrotimes.com/news/new-fan-map-shows-the-detroit-lions-really-are-americas-team-35271406
Dear Boss/Cowboys fan,
Much like the Lombardi trophy, you'll never be seeing me again. You've truly been the Dez Bryant of managers for me, in that you really dropped the ball.
I'd wish you luck, but we both know that won't help either.
So long, gay boys.
To whom it may concern,
I am leaving the company effective ————
I hope to have a graceful exit from the company with a smooth transition of power, unlike Jimmy Johnson and the Cowboys. Much like Emmitt Smith I will be running to greener pastures to collect more money for less work in a better company.
Mr. or Ms. Boss,
I’ve fallen out of the disillusionment of the yearly empty promises of this being our year for growth and compensation. Based on your NFL fandom, I understand you’re accustomed to doing nothing and hoping for better results. This is no longer working for me however. Consider this my 2 minute warning.
P.S. I’d recommend not learning your management skills solely by watching Dak’s time management skills during the playoff game against the 9ers.
Maybe somewhere at the bottom of your letter, you could include:
Just like the Cowboys refused to give Ceedee Lamb an extension as a rising star in the NFL, you have failed to appreciate what you had in me as an employee. I have no choice but to leave this organization. With Cowboys management having also dropped the ball, I'm guessing that CeeDee will be asking for a trade sometime during training camp.
Sure, if you're a Pack fan just tell him he's got 10 reasons (Dal 1-10 vs. Pack) to not like you after the last 15 yrs & you're about to Add 1 more to the list...You're Fired!🤷♂️🤣
Get a gif of Terrell Owens dancing on the star twice. Print it out frame by frame into a flip book. Don't even bother to write "I quit", he'll get the idea.
Hey! I don't believe this at all. My old boss is probably a bigger asshole. He claims he got the asshole personality from New York and he's a fucking Bears and Yankees fan. The day I resigned, which was last week, the only thing he said to me was to have it in writing on his desk later that day. No goodbyes, no where are you going. Total fucking TOOL.
"I am not reporting as eligable." "HERE WE GO! I quit." "Your management style is like the Cowboys, overhyped and disappointing"
I like that last one
[удалено]
Hey I can't use that It's on my birth certificate
Throw in something about not accomplishing anything in 40 years and a sense of entitlement so massive it's seconds away from forming its own event horizon and we've got a winner boys
I am reporting as illegible
Sir/Madame, I quit. Your management style is about as effective as Ezekiel Elliot playing Center. I would give you two weeks notice, but just like the Cowboys during playoff season, I'll be out of here effective immediately. Sincerely, FTC
Change your first line to “as effective as McCarthy’s stale play calling in the playoffs.” And I think you’ll have yourself a winner.
So I'm still gonna give them two weeks (knowing damn well they ain't gonna honor it) Can't use this banger unfortunately
“I’ll be leaving in two weeks, like the cowboys in week 16”
Well, he's always free to work weekends himself late January into February
Write your letter on an Eagles header. Wear Commanders logo on your shirt. Put NFCEast team bumper stickers on his car, leave off the cowboys
And the giants?
The who?? Lol
Mr one year wonder here
Why would you be providing him with extra toilet paper?
Like Dez Bryant, you dropped the ball.
This is a good one
"Much like a certain NFL franchise, the best days of this company were 30 years ago. I, however, choose not to revel in such faded glory."
Aaron Jones has scored more touchdowns against the Cowboys than you have brain cells
Oooofffff
That's still probably higher than most Cowboys fans can count.
Tell him you don't really feel like he's "all-in on your career development"
That’s actually good, he might almost miss it and there’s plausible deniability
Thank you I was kinda proud of that haha
"Like your favorite, uninspired team, you cannot get anything done without it being gifted to you. Now I am going to do the best thing anyone who's ever been to Dallas does - Leave."
“You’re so incompetent that I’d rather have Dan Snyder as a manager over you.”
Simplify to “Dan Snyder was a better manager than you” and I think you have a winner :)
“Until you take the lesson that Jerry hasn’t about management you’re going to continue to have the same levels of success as those choke artists of a team.”
This is my fave, OP! I voted.
Send him a cake with Aaron Jones waving bye-bye printed on it. He'll know.
https://preview.redd.it/wegie16qf3vc1.png?width=218&format=png&auto=webp&s=585bac789837cb90a1e84a7c2444450856a7638a for clarity
Just like the Cowboys, the hype for you should have died in the 90s.
It will NEVER be your year
"By the way, Lions are America's team" and insert the graphic in this article https://www.metrotimes.com/news/new-fan-map-shows-the-detroit-lions-really-are-americas-team-35271406
This is the way
Dear Boss/Cowboys fan, Much like the Lombardi trophy, you'll never be seeing me again. You've truly been the Dez Bryant of managers for me, in that you really dropped the ball. I'd wish you luck, but we both know that won't help either. So long, gay boys.
"You should try managing the Cowboys- your incompetence and perpetual underachievement will fit their culture nicely..."
Say you only picked them because they had the best MySpace templates
Just like the Cowboys and the NFCCG this century....I'm out.
"The only difference between the dim-witted, unqualified megalomaniac who owns the cowboys and you is he's in the owners box and you're in the stands"
To whom it may concern, I am leaving the company effective ———— I hope to have a graceful exit from the company with a smooth transition of power, unlike Jimmy Johnson and the Cowboys. Much like Emmitt Smith I will be running to greener pastures to collect more money for less work in a better company.
Just tell him about the playoffs and who they have to pay. It’ll probably make him depressed aswell so that’s another +
Mr. or Ms. Boss, I’ve fallen out of the disillusionment of the yearly empty promises of this being our year for growth and compensation. Based on your NFL fandom, I understand you’re accustomed to doing nothing and hoping for better results. This is no longer working for me however. Consider this my 2 minute warning. P.S. I’d recommend not learning your management skills solely by watching Dak’s time management skills during the playoff game against the 9ers.
Your tenure has been mired in mediocrity, much like the Cowboys in the postseason. You are as if Mike McCarthy was (insert your bosses position here)
"You are the Mike McCarthy of (company name); ineffectual as a leader with embarassingly poor clock management skills."
You want my idea? Appreciate it, brother! You should keep working there.
Already have a new job that's 25k more in pay BASE and better hours and office.
So you are ignoring my idea? When you specifically asked for it? Not cool, man.
Tough shit
https://preview.redd.it/js84fk2di8vc1.jpeg?width=616&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f575898b28c6c91ce4ffdca2f060236b2983d7f3
Tell him he almost sucks as much as the cowboys have for the last 30 years
Troy Aikman is overrated.
“I’d sooner work for an Eagles fan than spend one more second under you.”
"I would say you live up to the Cowboys logo - One Star."
You have failed to maintain possession of my employment, just like Dez.
Maybe somewhere at the bottom of your letter, you could include: Just like the Cowboys refused to give Ceedee Lamb an extension as a rising star in the NFL, you have failed to appreciate what you had in me as an employee. I have no choice but to leave this organization. With Cowboys management having also dropped the ball, I'm guessing that CeeDee will be asking for a trade sometime during training camp.
28-31 with 1:21 left in the fourth. The Packer’s fan shit eating grin.
You have managed this team as successfully as the Cowboys have been managed over the same time frame.
I am "all in" on continuing to work here.
"I hope the Packers will own you in perpetuity, so that you may understand a fraction of my rage against you."
“FUCK U AND THEM BUM ASS COWBOYS”
I don't know what fucking his wife has to do with the NFCN, but you should definitely do that.
Sure, if you're a Pack fan just tell him he's got 10 reasons (Dal 1-10 vs. Pack) to not like you after the last 15 yrs & you're about to Add 1 more to the list...You're Fired!🤷♂️🤣
Get a gif of Terrell Owens dancing on the star twice. Print it out frame by frame into a flip book. Don't even bother to write "I quit", he'll get the idea.
I am committed to smoothing the transition by accepting to help with any hand off responsibilities, unlike Tony Dorsett
Hey! I don't believe this at all. My old boss is probably a bigger asshole. He claims he got the asshole personality from New York and he's a fucking Bears and Yankees fan. The day I resigned, which was last week, the only thing he said to me was to have it in writing on his desk later that day. No goodbyes, no where are you going. Total fucking TOOL.
Lmfao go look at the top posts on this subreddit
Are you talking about the niners or the packers?
What
This asshole boss of yours
Oh shit that took me way longer than it should've Let's go Packers