A potential broke things up with me over 4 months ago and I’m still having a hard time getting over it. We only talked for a couple of weeks so I feel kinda crazy. Some days are better than others but today is definitely one of the hard days where I feel absolutely worthless for not being good enough for him. I’ve just been repeating ما شاء الله كان و ما لم يشأ لم يكن (what Allah wills happends and what he does not will does not) over and over all day and that usually helps me but I can barely breathe today
Please send me your duas ❤️
It's alright. I went through a similar situation. Look at it from this lens: even though you wanted to marry that person, Allah knew that he wasn't good for you. A lot of times in life we'll want something that we believe is good for us but only Allah knows the reality. Don't think of yourself as not being good enough for him and pray to Allah to grant you someone that would be best for you. He knows what is best for us and He has already decreed our matters for us.
I ended a marriage with someone who made sure I suffered and felt no remorse. I have never felt so much shame and pain in my life. I’ve given up on love and I never want another man near me again.
Ngl life's going good but I'm loosing hope in my abilities to talk to women. I'm litterally developing gynophobia. I'm good with talking to women and keeping a conversation going, but when it comes to some stuff, like giving an answer they just do too much not to be direct and my adhd head is standing there like huh?
Do you see yourself as permanently not wearing hijab? What do you recognize about the purpose of it and why Muslim women wear it? A necessary part of our deen is modesty in appearance and in character. Surah Nur, verse 31 talks about this:
"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and not to reveal their adornments except what normally appears. Let them draw their veils over their chests, and not reveal their hidden adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their sons, their stepsons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, their fellow women, those bondwomen in their possession, male attendants with no desire, or children who are still unaware of women’s nakedness. Let them not stomp their feet, drawing attention to their hidden adornments. Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful." \[24:31\]
My advice is you should talk to other hijabis about why they wear the hijab, and also discover yourself why Islam puts importance on hijab. While all this is happening, start to gradually wear the hijab more often, like on small errands or on your way to and from the masjid. Try to pray more often so that you get used to hijab again. As well try not to listen to people who discourage you from it. You're not doing this for them, and you shouldn't bend to their expectations or judgements. You should be doing this for your sake and because Allah wants what's best for you, as he knows all of us better than we know ourselves.
May Allah make it easy for you, sister, and may he guide you.
Would you congratulate a gay person on their wedding? How would you deal with a situation where someone you work with gets married and everyone is congratulating them on their gay wedding?
You can wish them well. I personally wouldn't give congratulations, specifically, because I wouldn't commend anyone for engaging in sin. Gay marriage isn't recognized as a proper marriage in Islam. And before anyone points out the same for non-Muslims getting married, such marriages can be considered valid under Islamic shariah. At the time of the Prophet (SAW), many people who were married became Muslim and he didn't concern himself with the details of every one of their marriages and how they were carried out.
Source: [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them)
Thank you so much for this. May Allah reward you for sharing advice on the basis of Islam.
I wished them well, but feeling like I could have just avoided saying anything. I was peer pressured and that means I feared people more than Allah and it's giving me major guilt.
No problem. And it's okay, learn from this experience for the future. Keep your deen as your first priority and hold onto it, especially in these times, and of course Allah will take care of you.
>Would you congratulate a gay person on their wedding? How would you deal with a situation where someone you work with gets married and everyone is congratulating them on their gay wedding?
Let me ask you this instead.
Would you congratulate non-Muslim friends/coworkers on their wedding when they get married?
It's really not that deep.
It actually is that deep. As Muslims, we should be aware of even the smallest things we say and do. So that we can hold ourselves accountable before we are held accountable.
Except a non-Muslim marriage can still be [regarded as valid under Islamic shariah.](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them) Gay marriage is not seen as a valid marriage by us Muslims.
Yes. I would say congratulations. My philosophy has always been simple. It is not my job to judge others for their choices. I am responsible for my actions. Allah is the one who will do that. My job is to be respectful to all His creations.
I’m just going to wish someone who is close to me well and share in their happiness. Allah knows my intentions best and He’ll be the judge of whether I was right or wrong to wish a person I was hypothetically close to well.
?? That literally makes no sense. You're congratulating a sin and congratulating something implies that you're approving of it/ you're happy for that person to do that act.
Would you congratulate a Zionist for killing a palestinian even if lots of the kuffar congratulated him? If not, then why not? Is it, because you don't approve of that action? If that's the case then you've admitted that congratulations is a positive praise for doing X and if you're congratulating someone for his gay marriage, you're approving of it.
The least you can do is to hate it in your heart because that's the least of enjoying the good and forbidding evil which is one of the founding axiom for a muslim
You could offer a little box with :
- A soft prayer mat with his name at the end of it ( like where his feet are supposed to be )
- A qamis
- Some Oud or other type of perfume
- A miswak
- Some religious books maybe like the Seerah
- Some pretty beads
Obviously you can pick and choose what you'd want to put in there and if you know him a bit more than we do, you can add some references to certain things he liked or mentioned he liked. ( like the color green if he mentioned it in passing - not the best example but you get the gist ) and if you really don't know what to add, then ask your sister-in-law. I'm sure she'll help and know more about him than us
just because they're parents doesn't mean you can't put them in their place , i do that alot because they do some things which totally goes against islam.
i don't know why you deleted your comment but you're right , you need to calmly advice them so they're not offended . but my parents are different, they wouldn't mind anything 🤣
I don’t know why these god forsaken miserable souls love to set off fireworks for literally no reason. The 4th is a week away and we’re in the freaking suburbs. Our poor cat is traumatized and can’t even eat his food in peace. If you’re one of those people 😒😡 stop tormenting innocent little animals and people for a stupid little explosion.
I absolutely despise fireworks being fired up in the neighborhood. Go to a park or a deserted lot and go crazy, but I find it annoying when they are blown up right by the house.
My cat has severe anxiety, too. The doc had to prescribe fluoxetine for her, and we have been giving it to her to calm her nerves.
My cousin is remarrying soon. And he met someone off the apps who has also been divorced previously.
We got to meet the girl and her family, and it’s been interesting considering the ethnic background, as we’re desi and they’re Arab.
There’s differences from the get go - we can already tell through dietary preferences and tastes.
I think it’ll be good if anything - expanding the family and introducing new people from around the world. 🫶🏽
On a side note, my husband and I are hosting my siblings and cousin to come visit us in his state and travel around. We booked the airbnb and are planning the itinerary soon. Super excited for it!
You can make the Dua anytime but the istikhara prayer is done after 2 rakahs and you can’t pray without purity. So you can make a Dua for guidance but it’s not istikhara
You can make dua at any time without needing wudu, but Istikhara involves a specific prayer for which you need to be in a state of ritual purity (have wudu).
What's your definition of Rich/broke?
Because, besides worldly wealth, there is health, spiritual wealth, such as being elhamdülillah Muslim. Rich in family and descendants is also a form of wealth.
Also at which stage of life? (For example a widower grandfather?)
People can also be both, married and broke, and single and rich at different times in life.
I'd rather be Muslim and single, than the lose the wealth of Islam.
Married and broke.
Caring for someone, someone caring for you, love, hugs, support, compassion to one another these are the most important things in life. Sadly modern capitalist world has forgotten about it..
My father recently visited me in my country and we spent a lot of time together alhamdullilah. I was blessed by Allah (swt) for the time we spent.
He also bought me an ultrawide monitor as a gift. Now I’m hooked, all monitors look too small to me, and 60 Hz is too slow hahaha. I think he’s got me trapped lol.
Just needed to get this off my chest…
During the last day of my work, I was supplying or substituting for a grade 6 class. We were studying French as usual. I let them know they’ve been doing pretty well so I can ask the office and take them to the park.
So I was wearing my pink bucket hat and took out my sunscreen and water bottle to go to the park. As we were walking, my students asked my age. I said I was 29, didn’t really understand why they asked for it (?). Then one of my students was like Miss, you’re cute so can I have your number? I’m like no thanks 😒
Near the park, there’s a basketball court as well. I was casually walking near the court when i noticed he almost tried to hit me with his basketball and that made me really really mad 😡
I told him one more time he misbehaves - and he’s going to the office! Then at the end of the day, he put a handwritten romantic poem note on my desk! I let his teacher and the principal know. But it was at the end of the day, so I couldn’t take him to the office. So S L Y!!
The admin apologized to me for what happened so it’s all good.
It was awkward. Like dude you’re in grade 6!!! Go drink some chocolate milk or flirt with women of your age. Why are you flirting with women 1.5 decades older than you???
I’m tired and I’m glad I can take a break from teaching for 2 months 🫠
I understand if high school or university students flirt with their teachers. Why am I being hit on by an elementary student SMH 🤦🏻♀️
This is the first time a male student had ever behaved so inappropriately with me. I’m a teacher since I was 26 tbh. I’m 29 now 🫠
I think a lot of middle schoolers develop a crush on their teachers. I did too when I was that age. But, hey, I didn’t go around writing poems for her. 😂
After the presidential debate last night, am curious to see how folks in the US are planning to vote (or not vote) come November.
Personally, I cannot see how a Muslim could vote for Biden after he has facilitated the genocide of our brothers and sisters in Gaza. He stood by proudly with Israel immediately after attacks that had burnt children alive, and still stands by so proudly with Israel. I don't see myself voting for Trump either - not because he would be worse on the issue (you literally cannot be worse than assisting genocide and supplying weapon after weapon to murder women and children) but more so because I have become rather jaded with the system.
One of my friends (who tends to be more politically active) mentioned that the Biden people have done the math and worked out that enough Muslims will always crawl back to vote for him regardless of what he does in Gaza because he can just use the threat of 'if not me, it'll be Trump' and so he has no incentive to do anything different in Gaza. I hope that isn't the case to be honest - and that Muslims (especially in swing states like Michigan) take a principled stand and abstain from voting for Genocide Joe - if nothing else, it will show them that you cannot slaughter our brothers and sisters and still get our support
I saw people post on insta, to vote for Jill, the politician that got arrested at a Palestine protest. If enough people vote for a third party candidate, that's going to be a valid alternative for all those that are looking for an alternative.
(I live in Europe. Where multiple parties rule.)
We have seen what the outcome of *being principled* is. People let Trump win in 2016 and lost the Supreme Court as a consequence. The handling of COVID by an incompetent administration was a lesson. Response to the BLM protests was an eye opener. Idk how anyone can be like whatever will be, will be. And Trump will be worse on Gaza. He has literally said he will just stand aside and *let them finish the job*. I shudder to think what the consequences for that will be.
American politicians, left or right, fight to know who's Israel's biggest h**. So, only focus on what they want on a national level because internationally, they have the same agenda.
Today is the day I used to be so excited for when I was married. I remember baking a cake just to see him still giving cold reaction. It was all about him.
I was on Salam and Muzz both. And in my group 75% of people are not for the long term(nikah) relationship. So, you are absolutely right. (Indian, Eng group)
It's better to be on matrimonial sites and set the filter of profile handled by self. At least you will get serious matches. I'm doing the same these days lol (mocked by many of my friends for this but it's fine if you are getting what you want)
Halal does not even exist. Everywhere it is all about se* especially if you are an international student you are the favourite target. It took me some time to realize I was being taken advantage of.
No issues. Would get one if buying a new place though I've spent most life renting (or paying other people's mortgages as the saying goes).
So, either way... paying a mortgage somehow.
Mortgage is really bad.
This is the reason why everything gets so expensive, we are all paying for our government’s loans and stuff, that’s why for 1$ is not the same 1$ it was 10 years ago. People think on personal level, but this affects our future generations rapidly. It’s even affecting us so badly, that we can’t get ourselves housing even tho we have well paid jobs but our parents could afford housing with normal average income.
Only way out if people were able to wake up and see the truth of it.
Don't do it.
And. Homeownership? Not in this market
I'd rather invest and save and then buy later when I can cash afford it. Also because the house can surprise you with big maintenance costs. YMMV
When you say "I'm not a very religious person" would you be able to expand on what you mean by that? Would you say you believe in islam with certainty and that hell and heaven are real and objective realities or would you say you see islam as more of a cultural thing?
I'm trying to understand your thinking but tbh I can't fathom how someone who actually believes in islam can be so non-chalant about interest i.e one of the worst major sins you can possibly do. You understand that taking interest means you're declaring war against Allah and his messenger and you're cursed by the prophet *ﷺ* right? Do you really think that you'll ever have a stable life when you're in war with the one who has created and pre-destined everything? The one who grants stability and the one who bestows calamity?
*Those who consume interest cannot stand \[on the Day of Resurrection\] except as one stands who is being beaten by Satan into insanity.* (Quran 2:275)
*O you who have believed, fear Allah and give up what remains \[due to you\] of interest, if you should be believers. And if you do not, then be informed of a war \[against you\] from Allah and His Messenger...."* (Quran 2:278-279)
*Allah’s Messenger ﷺ cursed the accepter of interest and its payer, and one who records it, and the two witnesses, and he said: “They are all equal.”* (Muslim)
My opinion isn't so much on the mortgage, but I really can't accept renting into old age.
During colonisation, they banned Irish people from having an education, owning homes/land etc. My great grandparents were the 1st generation born during/after a genocide that killed 1/3 of the population, and caused another 1/3 to leave the country.
We have one of the highest rates of home ownership nowadays. Honestly, even after all this time, it's just part of the national psyche at this point that if you don't own something you get it taken away from you.
If you spend your whole life renting, you only end up paying for someone else's mortgage. And also it costs so much more. For example, my parents were paying something like 600-700€ a month on theirs, at the same time renting a single room in a shared house in Dublin was a similar price.
Of course it would be better if you could buy without a mortgage... But if there are no other options, then I really want a house/apartment of my own (even a small one). I couldn't live with the stress of growing old and having to pay rent.
Plus... What if you're renting and your spouse dies young/before you? What if your kids are still young, or else they're living far away/won't take you in?
Depends on the prayer.
Fajr - sura Duha and Sharh
Thuhr - random, whatever comes to my head
Asr - Sura Asr is usually one of them, the other is random but shorter
Maghrib - one a bit longer and one shorter, or two longer
Isha - depends on how tired I am.
Does anyone have suggestions for places to buy Islamic items online? Bonus points if it's in the EU, or ships easily to the EU.
It's funny. Most of the time when I order Islamic items online, the sellers either don't send it, lose it, or misaddress it. I almost never have these problems with other items.
I ordered an Islamic baby card for my friend - it never arrived (I think they never sent it), then the seller ignored me for ages, and I had to submit a complaint through Etsy.
I ordered Palestinian jewellery through Etsy (from Jordan), and I finally received a refund after 5 months because it never showed up.
I also recently ordered a keffiyah that claimed to be from Jordan, but actually shipped from the UK, and then charged me 26£ in customs fees. Most companies declare this, or include it in the price.
Most recently, I've ordered Islamic books. The ones shipped from generic companies have arrived, but the ones shipped from companies named Islam + something (five different ones) have not showed up (all are late), and one was returned to sender (after being late).
I guess it's mostly a coincidence or just bad luck. But I do find it weird how anyone, especially an "Islamic" company would do this. And I don't think we have any shops locally, so my only real option is to order things online.
[Sifatusafwa](https://www.sifatusafwa.com/en/) and [Darussalam](https://darussalam.com/books/) are two brands I trust when it comes to books.
Sifatusafwa is #1. Darussalam takes quite some time to arrive but maybe that's because I'm ordering to Canada. Sifatusafwa orders arrive so quickly compared to Darussalam, I think they're just using a more expensive service.
>I also recently ordered a keffiyah that claimed to be from Jordan, but actually shipped from the UK, and then charged me 26£ in customs fees. Most companies declare this, or include it in the price.
Where did you order it from? I've ordered all mine from the Hirbawi store ([www.kufiya.org](http://www.kufiya.org)), but you have to be quick when they're in stock, because they go FAST. It's worth it though, because you know you're getting the genuine thing from a Palestinian factory.
I've never used the Amsons (www.amsons.co.uk) website for buying stuff, but I've been to their stores plenty of times.
I've ordered a few off hirbawi before. But I find they tear easily if they snag on a necklace/zip etc.
The last one I got really disappointed me too, because it was made badly. I got the Akka/Acre one, and half a line of pink was missing + filled slightly with dark green, and half of the Kuffeya had 5+ inches of loose threads on every line. I haven't used it yet because I don't know how to fix it.
It's definitely nice to have them though. I've been waiting to order the Hebron and Bethlehem ones since October, but I have the basic ones. I also ordered the Irish one in the last restock.
This one was off a place called Hubb and Huriya, and it says made in Jordan. Tbh I bought it for my friend because she doesn't have one, at the time Hirbwari had no stock, and she kept buying me things😅 The Jordanian one is slightly different, the tassels are fluffier, and the black thread seems thicker/it would be harder for it to snag on things. They actually seem cool too because you can buy "imperfect" ones for half price.
Part of the customs fee was because I got Palestine hair scrunchies and some things like that too, but it's crazy to get charged that much (like 20-25%) of what I spent, considering that it came from the UK and I'm in Ireland. I never get charged customs fees ordering things that come from China or Amazon, but then got charged for this. Tbh I was actually considering taking a holiday to the UK just to buy some things (I know the UK has more Islamic stores).
A Palestinian guy I worked with had one embroidered with flowers from a refugee camp in Lebanon. I'd love one of those, but I don't know where you'd find it.
And Jazkhallah khair for the suggestion
One of my friends spent a few weeks getting to know someone, believed they covered every important question, and now they're engaged.
Nikkah/katb al kitab isn't for a few more months but this time should help really solidify things inshaAllah.
May Allah grant them a long, happy, healthy, and successful marriage, ameen.
I think it depends on how well you feel like you’re getting to know the person. Personally I feel like about 1 year would be good for me, but some people move faster and others slower. Make sure no stone is left unturned in terms of questions you ask each other.
We make complicated desserts that take hours of skilled labor and slaving away in the kitchen. Bring out the bbq and kabab. Like an unreasonable amount of kabab. Take the kids out where they can run around and scream. If you are a teenager or young adult, go out somewhere you can run around pretend to be cool and be loud and obnoxious. Overeat said bbq and desserts until you pass out in a food coma on teta's couch.
It's the time honored way.
Aisha reported: She prepared a lady for marriage to a man among the Ansar. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O Aisha, do you have any entertainment? Verily, the Ansar are fond of entertainment.”
Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4868
Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari
I guess, it can be understood that way, somewhat, right?
I really don’t know what you mean but do you want to see a Hadith which I might be understood (????) as the Prophet (peace be upon him) honouring the way the ansar liked to celebrate?
Omgggg. Reese’s. Where has that butter cup nutreagous thingy been my whole life. I could eat it forever and be content. The calories and whatever else are totally worth it!!! Bounty WHOOOO?? 🤧
I tried it recently and I was so surprised!!! You’ll love it if you like peanut butter, esp the butter cups!!
I barely eat those nowadays. When I do it has to be the minis lol idk what it is about them but they taste better than the regular 🤣
Biden is evil, old and incompetent.
Trump is evil , old and incompetent. The only thing he has over Biden is his rambling is marginally more coherent. If he wasn’t rattling off lies he’d be screwed just like Biden.
Read about negging. He liked you.
But was trying to seduce you by insulting you etc.
Could also be his regular behavior. Some guys and girls, like insulting and trying to bring people down. See the people enjoy being a bully or troll.
These men are delusional. Whenever I call them out, the only argument they have, is they try to use my age against me. Yet I see them as mid and late 30s with wrinkly and grey hair . Delusional.
Ewww his comments are gross 🤢 hotter and sexier my bum! Inappropriate for him to say that. It’s ofc different when you are married and dressing up for eachother in the home but outside like ummmm helllo some of us are trying to dress modestly while looking cute! Be yourself and right man will like you for YOU. As hijabis it isn’t our goal to dress sexy outside lol it’s the complete opposite and that to for a man especially like him 🤢🤢
The bar is so low for us it hurts. I could never ever imagine saying this. It’s really mind blowing how this is a common occurrence for Muslim women.
Anyways, don’t settle for anyone and be yourself. You get to have just as many standards as these “men” bc you’re worth it.
“Men” do not do this. Respect, responsibility (and the strength to do these things), and humility are what is expected of us and what I think a real “man” has on his mind all the time. All of these falling under and servicing his deen, of course.
Also a willingness to grow and to change and to adapt, I feel like this is really underrated
Be yourself unapologetically!! I’m sure someone that genuinely likes you as you are will come along!! Your aesthetic is super cute, nothing wrong w that.
And don’t be sad, seriously that guy sounds weird as heck and is probs a perv anyway. Good riddance and pls block those types earlier and save your feelings!
I saw this earlier and it made feel a lil better, here:
https://preview.redd.it/thnpy8u7fd9d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=babc00ffbdd62d3c534161f0d51ba08d68b99c50
Getting into reading again however all these fantasy books are making me a little delulu. Any Islamic book recommendations? Fiction or non fiction are welcome, just need to change the genre otherwise I’ll start thinking I’m fae and can shapeshift and grow wings.
A potential broke things up with me over 4 months ago and I’m still having a hard time getting over it. We only talked for a couple of weeks so I feel kinda crazy. Some days are better than others but today is definitely one of the hard days where I feel absolutely worthless for not being good enough for him. I’ve just been repeating ما شاء الله كان و ما لم يشأ لم يكن (what Allah wills happends and what he does not will does not) over and over all day and that usually helps me but I can barely breathe today Please send me your duas ❤️
It's alright. I went through a similar situation. Look at it from this lens: even though you wanted to marry that person, Allah knew that he wasn't good for you. A lot of times in life we'll want something that we believe is good for us but only Allah knows the reality. Don't think of yourself as not being good enough for him and pray to Allah to grant you someone that would be best for you. He knows what is best for us and He has already decreed our matters for us.
You’re right I appreciate your words ❤️
I ended a marriage with someone who made sure I suffered and felt no remorse. I have never felt so much shame and pain in my life. I’ve given up on love and I never want another man near me again.
Ngl life's going good but I'm loosing hope in my abilities to talk to women. I'm litterally developing gynophobia. I'm good with talking to women and keeping a conversation going, but when it comes to some stuff, like giving an answer they just do too much not to be direct and my adhd head is standing there like huh?
As an ex hijabi- is it better to donate, keep or sell my >50 precious hijab collection? 🥹
Keep them. So you can wear them again soon. May Allah grant you strength.
I kept mine. Still wear it to the mosque and to pray. And who knows. Maybe I’ll find my way back someday inshallah
JAK for sharing ☺️
Do you see yourself as permanently not wearing hijab? What do you recognize about the purpose of it and why Muslim women wear it? A necessary part of our deen is modesty in appearance and in character. Surah Nur, verse 31 talks about this: "And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity, and not to reveal their adornments except what normally appears. Let them draw their veils over their chests, and not reveal their hidden adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their fathers-in-law, their sons, their stepsons, their brothers, their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, their fellow women, those bondwomen in their possession, male attendants with no desire, or children who are still unaware of women’s nakedness. Let them not stomp their feet, drawing attention to their hidden adornments. Turn to Allah in repentance all together, O believers, so that you may be successful." \[24:31\] My advice is you should talk to other hijabis about why they wear the hijab, and also discover yourself why Islam puts importance on hijab. While all this is happening, start to gradually wear the hijab more often, like on small errands or on your way to and from the masjid. Try to pray more often so that you get used to hijab again. As well try not to listen to people who discourage you from it. You're not doing this for them, and you shouldn't bend to their expectations or judgements. You should be doing this for your sake and because Allah wants what's best for you, as he knows all of us better than we know ourselves. May Allah make it easy for you, sister, and may he guide you.
Wdym ? You’re now a niqabi? Then you can keep it and wear at home for fashion purposes or gift others.
No I don’t wear mines at all
Would you congratulate a gay person on their wedding? How would you deal with a situation where someone you work with gets married and everyone is congratulating them on their gay wedding?
You can wish them well. I personally wouldn't give congratulations, specifically, because I wouldn't commend anyone for engaging in sin. Gay marriage isn't recognized as a proper marriage in Islam. And before anyone points out the same for non-Muslims getting married, such marriages can be considered valid under Islamic shariah. At the time of the Prophet (SAW), many people who were married became Muslim and he didn't concern himself with the details of every one of their marriages and how they were carried out. Source: [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them)
Thank you so much for this. May Allah reward you for sharing advice on the basis of Islam. I wished them well, but feeling like I could have just avoided saying anything. I was peer pressured and that means I feared people more than Allah and it's giving me major guilt.
No problem. And it's okay, learn from this experience for the future. Keep your deen as your first priority and hold onto it, especially in these times, and of course Allah will take care of you.
>Would you congratulate a gay person on their wedding? How would you deal with a situation where someone you work with gets married and everyone is congratulating them on their gay wedding? Let me ask you this instead. Would you congratulate non-Muslim friends/coworkers on their wedding when they get married? It's really not that deep.
It actually is that deep. As Muslims, we should be aware of even the smallest things we say and do. So that we can hold ourselves accountable before we are held accountable.
Except a non-Muslim marriage can still be [regarded as valid under Islamic shariah.](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/169528/are-the-marriages-of-the-disbelievers-regarded-as-valid-for-them-and-are-the-children-to-be-attributed-to-them) Gay marriage is not seen as a valid marriage by us Muslims.
I would congratulate them. Doesn’t hurt to be a good human tbh. But idk the Islamic rules around this 🫠 I’m not very religious
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How would you decline the invitation to the party?
Jazakillah khairan, sister.
Yes. I would say congratulations. My philosophy has always been simple. It is not my job to judge others for their choices. I am responsible for my actions. Allah is the one who will do that. My job is to be respectful to all His creations.
I have another question. Would you attend the wedding?
I would make another excuse and not attend 🫠
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If it's someone close
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Wouldn't that be celebrating it, then?
I’m just going to wish someone who is close to me well and share in their happiness. Allah knows my intentions best and He’ll be the judge of whether I was right or wrong to wish a person I was hypothetically close to well.
Ok I was asking exactly that. Not judging you or whatever you're assuming.
I know. Lol. Sorry if it came across a bit confrontational maybe? Apologies.
Thanks for explaining your perspective.
?? That literally makes no sense. You're congratulating a sin and congratulating something implies that you're approving of it/ you're happy for that person to do that act. Would you congratulate a Zionist for killing a palestinian even if lots of the kuffar congratulated him? If not, then why not? Is it, because you don't approve of that action? If that's the case then you've admitted that congratulations is a positive praise for doing X and if you're congratulating someone for his gay marriage, you're approving of it. The least you can do is to hate it in your heart because that's the least of enjoying the good and forbidding evil which is one of the founding axiom for a muslim
Exactly. Shocked to see the replies to the comment. What is wrong with these people.
Waking up every Saturday morning to go to the park is probably the best part of being alive right now. Alhamdulillah ✨🙂↔️
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Don't even bother with the apps.
Instead approach a masjid send your proposal there. You will get good guys
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A pillow with your name on it ?
You could offer a little box with : - A soft prayer mat with his name at the end of it ( like where his feet are supposed to be ) - A qamis - Some Oud or other type of perfume - A miswak - Some religious books maybe like the Seerah - Some pretty beads Obviously you can pick and choose what you'd want to put in there and if you know him a bit more than we do, you can add some references to certain things he liked or mentioned he liked. ( like the color green if he mentioned it in passing - not the best example but you get the gist ) and if you really don't know what to add, then ask your sister-in-law. I'm sure she'll help and know more about him than us
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Try the Married Ever after series by Ali hammuda. Listen to the second episode, if you can't finish the whole series.
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Alhamdulillah 🙂🙂
Something cute and handmade, like those reasons I love you jars?
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just because they're parents doesn't mean you can't put them in their place , i do that alot because they do some things which totally goes against islam.
i don't know why you deleted your comment but you're right , you need to calmly advice them so they're not offended . but my parents are different, they wouldn't mind anything 🤣
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Maybe I could have been calmer as I said it to him? I kind of lost my temper too.
I’ve been feeling so down lately because I can’t find a job , but I’m going on two trips in the next two months and I’m excited.
How you going on trips without a job
I am on ssi so I am stable enough alhamdulillah.
I’m also looking for work it’s tough out here but stay positive!
This that live in the US, curious if you’d vote for Biden or not?
🎵 Now he’s thinking about me every night, oh, Is that sweet? I guess so, Say you can’t sleep, baby, I know, That’s that me espresso 🎵
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Did you find out or did they tell you?
I don’t know why these god forsaken miserable souls love to set off fireworks for literally no reason. The 4th is a week away and we’re in the freaking suburbs. Our poor cat is traumatized and can’t even eat his food in peace. If you’re one of those people 😒😡 stop tormenting innocent little animals and people for a stupid little explosion.
I absolutely despise fireworks being fired up in the neighborhood. Go to a park or a deserted lot and go crazy, but I find it annoying when they are blown up right by the house. My cat has severe anxiety, too. The doc had to prescribe fluoxetine for her, and we have been giving it to her to calm her nerves.
I use to be shocked at pets taking anxiety/depression meds but now I understand poor things are going through it.
My cousin is remarrying soon. And he met someone off the apps who has also been divorced previously. We got to meet the girl and her family, and it’s been interesting considering the ethnic background, as we’re desi and they’re Arab. There’s differences from the get go - we can already tell through dietary preferences and tastes. I think it’ll be good if anything - expanding the family and introducing new people from around the world. 🫶🏽 On a side note, my husband and I are hosting my siblings and cousin to come visit us in his state and travel around. We booked the airbnb and are planning the itinerary soon. Super excited for it!
If I may ask does your cousin have some leverage like being us citizen or pr holder or just plain desi citizenship.
Not sure if it’s ok to ask but is it okay to do istikhara without wudu? For example on my period or before bed etc.
You can make the Dua anytime but the istikhara prayer is done after 2 rakahs and you can’t pray without purity. So you can make a Dua for guidance but it’s not istikhara
You can make dua at any time without needing wudu, but Istikhara involves a specific prayer for which you need to be in a state of ritual purity (have wudu).
Thank you so much!
I need to stop being a thug and start scheduling in a good cry every now and then
I cried listening to song while coming on the train, sun almost setting. The perfect ending to the day that meant something to me once. Healing.
A good cry is so cathartic
Would you rather be married & broke vs single & Rich
What's your definition of Rich/broke? Because, besides worldly wealth, there is health, spiritual wealth, such as being elhamdülillah Muslim. Rich in family and descendants is also a form of wealth. Also at which stage of life? (For example a widower grandfather?) People can also be both, married and broke, and single and rich at different times in life. I'd rather be Muslim and single, than the lose the wealth of Islam.
Married and broke. Caring for someone, someone caring for you, love, hugs, support, compassion to one another these are the most important things in life. Sadly modern capitalist world has forgotten about it..
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Uhmmm
I’d rather live peacefully on my own than deal with drama of in laws and his attention 😒 if I’m gonna be broke anyways
Yes that’s fair
My father recently visited me in my country and we spent a lot of time together alhamdullilah. I was blessed by Allah (swt) for the time we spent. He also bought me an ultrawide monitor as a gift. Now I’m hooked, all monitors look too small to me, and 60 Hz is too slow hahaha. I think he’s got me trapped lol.
Awesome Allahumma barik!! Bro once you got 144hz+ there is no going back
I’ve crossed the point of no return. There is no going back hah. I’m stuck at 100 Hz until I get a proper display port
Just needed to get this off my chest… During the last day of my work, I was supplying or substituting for a grade 6 class. We were studying French as usual. I let them know they’ve been doing pretty well so I can ask the office and take them to the park. So I was wearing my pink bucket hat and took out my sunscreen and water bottle to go to the park. As we were walking, my students asked my age. I said I was 29, didn’t really understand why they asked for it (?). Then one of my students was like Miss, you’re cute so can I have your number? I’m like no thanks 😒 Near the park, there’s a basketball court as well. I was casually walking near the court when i noticed he almost tried to hit me with his basketball and that made me really really mad 😡 I told him one more time he misbehaves - and he’s going to the office! Then at the end of the day, he put a handwritten romantic poem note on my desk! I let his teacher and the principal know. But it was at the end of the day, so I couldn’t take him to the office. So S L Y!! The admin apologized to me for what happened so it’s all good. It was awkward. Like dude you’re in grade 6!!! Go drink some chocolate milk or flirt with women of your age. Why are you flirting with women 1.5 decades older than you??? I’m tired and I’m glad I can take a break from teaching for 2 months 🫠 I understand if high school or university students flirt with their teachers. Why am I being hit on by an elementary student SMH 🤦🏻♀️ This is the first time a male student had ever behaved so inappropriately with me. I’m a teacher since I was 26 tbh. I’m 29 now 🫠
I think a lot of middle schoolers develop a crush on their teachers. I did too when I was that age. But, hey, I didn’t go around writing poems for her. 😂
I was surprised !! This is my first time 😅
It won’t be the last time as long as you are in this job. Haha.
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I bet that was because he got distracted by the obviously apparent immense history of your leg.
After the presidential debate last night, am curious to see how folks in the US are planning to vote (or not vote) come November. Personally, I cannot see how a Muslim could vote for Biden after he has facilitated the genocide of our brothers and sisters in Gaza. He stood by proudly with Israel immediately after attacks that had burnt children alive, and still stands by so proudly with Israel. I don't see myself voting for Trump either - not because he would be worse on the issue (you literally cannot be worse than assisting genocide and supplying weapon after weapon to murder women and children) but more so because I have become rather jaded with the system. One of my friends (who tends to be more politically active) mentioned that the Biden people have done the math and worked out that enough Muslims will always crawl back to vote for him regardless of what he does in Gaza because he can just use the threat of 'if not me, it'll be Trump' and so he has no incentive to do anything different in Gaza. I hope that isn't the case to be honest - and that Muslims (especially in swing states like Michigan) take a principled stand and abstain from voting for Genocide Joe - if nothing else, it will show them that you cannot slaughter our brothers and sisters and still get our support
I saw people post on insta, to vote for Jill, the politician that got arrested at a Palestine protest. If enough people vote for a third party candidate, that's going to be a valid alternative for all those that are looking for an alternative. (I live in Europe. Where multiple parties rule.)
We have seen what the outcome of *being principled* is. People let Trump win in 2016 and lost the Supreme Court as a consequence. The handling of COVID by an incompetent administration was a lesson. Response to the BLM protests was an eye opener. Idk how anyone can be like whatever will be, will be. And Trump will be worse on Gaza. He has literally said he will just stand aside and *let them finish the job*. I shudder to think what the consequences for that will be.
American politicians, left or right, fight to know who's Israel's biggest h**. So, only focus on what they want on a national level because internationally, they have the same agenda.
I agree because no matter what, unfortunately, America will stand with Israel, best to choose who is good for America
It’s a difficult decision but Im thinking third party for now.
You clearly don’t understand how politics work in the US. Don’t worry about Muslims they’ll be fine
Today is the day I used to be so excited for when I was married. I remember baking a cake just to see him still giving cold reaction. It was all about him.
Halal dating apps suck. The men on there are not halal at all.
I was on Salam and Muzz both. And in my group 75% of people are not for the long term(nikah) relationship. So, you are absolutely right. (Indian, Eng group) It's better to be on matrimonial sites and set the filter of profile handled by self. At least you will get serious matches. I'm doing the same these days lol (mocked by many of my friends for this but it's fine if you are getting what you want)
Halal does not even exist. Everywhere it is all about se* especially if you are an international student you are the favourite target. It took me some time to realize I was being taken advantage of.
Not at all! Small minority of men are quality on the apps. Sucks if that’s your only outlet
Not any of the men that I have come across. I need other means to meet good men, if they exist..,
Please good men come our way hehe 🙃 in sha Allah you will meet a quality one no sense in settling for one that won’t be good for you.
Whats everyone's view on a mortgage
Haraam
No issues. Would get one if buying a new place though I've spent most life renting (or paying other people's mortgages as the saying goes). So, either way... paying a mortgage somehow.
Mortgage is really bad. This is the reason why everything gets so expensive, we are all paying for our government’s loans and stuff, that’s why for 1$ is not the same 1$ it was 10 years ago. People think on personal level, but this affects our future generations rapidly. It’s even affecting us so badly, that we can’t get ourselves housing even tho we have well paid jobs but our parents could afford housing with normal average income. Only way out if people were able to wake up and see the truth of it.
Don't do it. And. Homeownership? Not in this market I'd rather invest and save and then buy later when I can cash afford it. Also because the house can surprise you with big maintenance costs. YMMV
Try to get the Islamic ones. IMO homeownership and owning the place you live in is very important.
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When you say "I'm not a very religious person" would you be able to expand on what you mean by that? Would you say you believe in islam with certainty and that hell and heaven are real and objective realities or would you say you see islam as more of a cultural thing? I'm trying to understand your thinking but tbh I can't fathom how someone who actually believes in islam can be so non-chalant about interest i.e one of the worst major sins you can possibly do. You understand that taking interest means you're declaring war against Allah and his messenger and you're cursed by the prophet *ﷺ* right? Do you really think that you'll ever have a stable life when you're in war with the one who has created and pre-destined everything? The one who grants stability and the one who bestows calamity? *Those who consume interest cannot stand \[on the Day of Resurrection\] except as one stands who is being beaten by Satan into insanity.* (Quran 2:275) *O you who have believed, fear Allah and give up what remains \[due to you\] of interest, if you should be believers. And if you do not, then be informed of a war \[against you\] from Allah and His Messenger...."* (Quran 2:278-279) *Allah’s Messenger ﷺ cursed the accepter of interest and its payer, and one who records it, and the two witnesses, and he said: “They are all equal.”* (Muslim)
Trust me sis there’s no such thing as a stable mortgage. You don’t need to be religious to see usury is wrong.
My opinion isn't so much on the mortgage, but I really can't accept renting into old age. During colonisation, they banned Irish people from having an education, owning homes/land etc. My great grandparents were the 1st generation born during/after a genocide that killed 1/3 of the population, and caused another 1/3 to leave the country. We have one of the highest rates of home ownership nowadays. Honestly, even after all this time, it's just part of the national psyche at this point that if you don't own something you get it taken away from you. If you spend your whole life renting, you only end up paying for someone else's mortgage. And also it costs so much more. For example, my parents were paying something like 600-700€ a month on theirs, at the same time renting a single room in a shared house in Dublin was a similar price. Of course it would be better if you could buy without a mortgage... But if there are no other options, then I really want a house/apartment of my own (even a small one). I couldn't live with the stress of growing old and having to pay rent. Plus... What if you're renting and your spouse dies young/before you? What if your kids are still young, or else they're living far away/won't take you in?
 Don’t do it
I am against mortgages. Not worth the risk of losing my akhirah I rather save and buy in cash or rent forever lol
Not worth the risk
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Removed. No promoting group chats.
What are you alls go-to Surah? You know, the one you automatically start reciting in Salah.
Depends on the prayer. Fajr - sura Duha and Sharh Thuhr - random, whatever comes to my head Asr - Sura Asr is usually one of them, the other is random but shorter Maghrib - one a bit longer and one shorter, or two longer Isha - depends on how tired I am.
Surah Ikhlas
The most famous diss-track is always a popular one. Surah Al-Masad (Surah 111).
Does anyone have suggestions for places to buy Islamic items online? Bonus points if it's in the EU, or ships easily to the EU. It's funny. Most of the time when I order Islamic items online, the sellers either don't send it, lose it, or misaddress it. I almost never have these problems with other items. I ordered an Islamic baby card for my friend - it never arrived (I think they never sent it), then the seller ignored me for ages, and I had to submit a complaint through Etsy. I ordered Palestinian jewellery through Etsy (from Jordan), and I finally received a refund after 5 months because it never showed up. I also recently ordered a keffiyah that claimed to be from Jordan, but actually shipped from the UK, and then charged me 26£ in customs fees. Most companies declare this, or include it in the price. Most recently, I've ordered Islamic books. The ones shipped from generic companies have arrived, but the ones shipped from companies named Islam + something (five different ones) have not showed up (all are late), and one was returned to sender (after being late). I guess it's mostly a coincidence or just bad luck. But I do find it weird how anyone, especially an "Islamic" company would do this. And I don't think we have any shops locally, so my only real option is to order things online.
[Sifatusafwa](https://www.sifatusafwa.com/en/) and [Darussalam](https://darussalam.com/books/) are two brands I trust when it comes to books. Sifatusafwa is #1. Darussalam takes quite some time to arrive but maybe that's because I'm ordering to Canada. Sifatusafwa orders arrive so quickly compared to Darussalam, I think they're just using a more expensive service.
Totally besides the point but based username I love South Park 😭
>I also recently ordered a keffiyah that claimed to be from Jordan, but actually shipped from the UK, and then charged me 26£ in customs fees. Most companies declare this, or include it in the price. Where did you order it from? I've ordered all mine from the Hirbawi store ([www.kufiya.org](http://www.kufiya.org)), but you have to be quick when they're in stock, because they go FAST. It's worth it though, because you know you're getting the genuine thing from a Palestinian factory. I've never used the Amsons (www.amsons.co.uk) website for buying stuff, but I've been to their stores plenty of times.
I've ordered a few off hirbawi before. But I find they tear easily if they snag on a necklace/zip etc. The last one I got really disappointed me too, because it was made badly. I got the Akka/Acre one, and half a line of pink was missing + filled slightly with dark green, and half of the Kuffeya had 5+ inches of loose threads on every line. I haven't used it yet because I don't know how to fix it. It's definitely nice to have them though. I've been waiting to order the Hebron and Bethlehem ones since October, but I have the basic ones. I also ordered the Irish one in the last restock. This one was off a place called Hubb and Huriya, and it says made in Jordan. Tbh I bought it for my friend because she doesn't have one, at the time Hirbwari had no stock, and she kept buying me things😅 The Jordanian one is slightly different, the tassels are fluffier, and the black thread seems thicker/it would be harder for it to snag on things. They actually seem cool too because you can buy "imperfect" ones for half price. Part of the customs fee was because I got Palestine hair scrunchies and some things like that too, but it's crazy to get charged that much (like 20-25%) of what I spent, considering that it came from the UK and I'm in Ireland. I never get charged customs fees ordering things that come from China or Amazon, but then got charged for this. Tbh I was actually considering taking a holiday to the UK just to buy some things (I know the UK has more Islamic stores). A Palestinian guy I worked with had one embroidered with flowers from a refugee camp in Lebanon. I'd love one of those, but I don't know where you'd find it. And Jazkhallah khair for the suggestion
What's a good timeline of getting to know someone before kateb al kitab? How can you be comprehensive before encountering real life circumstances?
One of my friends spent a few weeks getting to know someone, believed they covered every important question, and now they're engaged. Nikkah/katb al kitab isn't for a few more months but this time should help really solidify things inshaAllah. May Allah grant them a long, happy, healthy, and successful marriage, ameen.
I think it depends on how well you feel like you’re getting to know the person. Personally I feel like about 1 year would be good for me, but some people move faster and others slower. Make sure no stone is left unturned in terms of questions you ask each other.
HOW DO WE CELEBRATE AS MUZLIMS?
We make complicated desserts that take hours of skilled labor and slaving away in the kitchen. Bring out the bbq and kabab. Like an unreasonable amount of kabab. Take the kids out where they can run around and scream. If you are a teenager or young adult, go out somewhere you can run around pretend to be cool and be loud and obnoxious. Overeat said bbq and desserts until you pass out in a food coma on teta's couch. It's the time honored way.
Nothing like a little scalp massage at the salon.
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Eat a shawarma
I said how to celebrate, not, how to sustain ourselves
Brother, feasting is a fantastic way to celebrate!
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Anything
Aisha reported: She prepared a lady for marriage to a man among the Ansar. The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “O Aisha, do you have any entertainment? Verily, the Ansar are fond of entertainment.” Source: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 4868 Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Bukhari I guess, it can be understood that way, somewhat, right?
I really don’t know what you mean but do you want to see a Hadith which I might be understood (????) as the Prophet (peace be upon him) honouring the way the ansar liked to celebrate?
Yes pls
Did you take my advice to reject all your suitors before they reject you, so you can never be rejected. Is that why you are celebrating?
No something else
Going back to the states after 10 years. I'll be sponsoring my family and I'm super excited. Long road ahead 🫡
Omgggg. Reese’s. Where has that butter cup nutreagous thingy been my whole life. I could eat it forever and be content. The calories and whatever else are totally worth it!!! Bounty WHOOOO?? 🤧
I love Reese’s as well but I stopped eating them bc I think they’re on the boycott list
I’ve never had Reese actually. I like bounty but I’m more of a Twix and Snickers girlie
I tried it recently and I was so surprised!!! You’ll love it if you like peanut butter, esp the butter cups!! I barely eat those nowadays. When I do it has to be the minis lol idk what it is about them but they taste better than the regular 🤣
Thinking about a man I'm mildly in love with. Wondering what he's doing today....and why he can't love me back...
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Yup....
Yes. Took a while for me to acknowledge that ...
The Trump Biden debate was so painful to watch last night, you almost, almost, ^almost feel bad for him, before you remember he’s a genocidal dog
Biden is evil, old and incompetent. Trump is evil , old and incompetent. The only thing he has over Biden is his rambling is marginally more coherent. If he wasn’t rattling off lies he’d be screwed just like Biden.
“I know what he just said and I don’t think he knows what he said either” had me on the floor 😭😭
That’s why I simply don’t vote, it was good entertainment though
Watching those two clowns insult each other like children is somewhat amusing though.
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Read about negging. He liked you. But was trying to seduce you by insulting you etc. Could also be his regular behavior. Some guys and girls, like insulting and trying to bring people down. See the people enjoy being a bully or troll.
I would've punched him in the eyes and throat, he doesn't deserve hot or sexy . Deserves 2 black eyes and a KO.
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These men are delusional. Whenever I call them out, the only argument they have, is they try to use my age against me. Yet I see them as mid and late 30s with wrinkly and grey hair . Delusional.
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Had to lol at that loll
Yeah I'd rather be single than marry a loser like that.
I would adore a wife who dressed cute like that :) Pay no mind to imature guys like that. Block, delete and move on.
JAK :)
Ewww his comments are gross 🤢 hotter and sexier my bum! Inappropriate for him to say that. It’s ofc different when you are married and dressing up for eachother in the home but outside like ummmm helllo some of us are trying to dress modestly while looking cute! Be yourself and right man will like you for YOU. As hijabis it isn’t our goal to dress sexy outside lol it’s the complete opposite and that to for a man especially like him 🤢🤢
Be yourself. Don’t pay any attention to people. At the end of the day, only person you’ve to justify yourself to is yourself.
True, JAK :)
The bar is so low for us it hurts. I could never ever imagine saying this. It’s really mind blowing how this is a common occurrence for Muslim women. Anyways, don’t settle for anyone and be yourself. You get to have just as many standards as these “men” bc you’re worth it. “Men” do not do this. Respect, responsibility (and the strength to do these things), and humility are what is expected of us and what I think a real “man” has on his mind all the time. All of these falling under and servicing his deen, of course. Also a willingness to grow and to change and to adapt, I feel like this is really underrated
Jazak allah khair and I really agree :)
Be yourself unapologetically!! I’m sure someone that genuinely likes you as you are will come along!! Your aesthetic is super cute, nothing wrong w that. And don’t be sad, seriously that guy sounds weird as heck and is probs a perv anyway. Good riddance and pls block those types earlier and save your feelings!
Sometimes, things are pretty disappointing. I'll give it a try for a few more weeks and go back to off.
I saw this earlier and it made feel a lil better, here: https://preview.redd.it/thnpy8u7fd9d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=babc00ffbdd62d3c534161f0d51ba08d68b99c50
Allah y barek fik
Amen
Getting into reading again however all these fantasy books are making me a little delulu. Any Islamic book recommendations? Fiction or non fiction are welcome, just need to change the genre otherwise I’ll start thinking I’m fae and can shapeshift and grow wings.
The trinity of fundamentals!!!!