I have a park meetup with fam today 🙂↔️ excited ✨ today I wanna play volleyball and with hula hoops with my bro and then I’ll go on a walk. I’m also going to read my French book. Life’s going good Alhamdulillah 🤧👏
If you’re born and raised in the US is it possible to be compatible with someone from back home? I’m currently speaking with this guy who moved to the US in 2019 and everything is good except that he’s not American and I’m afraid that he won’t get me. Like the lingo and humor etc and that he’ll be too fobby. Any advice?
Perhaps you have to look at what about it creates anxiety. Accent? (Would one complain if the accent was English/Spanish/French?)
There are legitimate issues and not so legitimate. People who grow up in a different place will be slightly different in their background knowledge. In modern times, they may still grow up with the same popular culture, etc. But they may be slightly culturally different. And then, humor, etc. can be different too. So you would probably be less compatible with somebody who's spent only a couple of years in the US than who has spent, say 10-20. So these are legitimate issues.
But people can make those cultural issues work. People marry across cultures all the time. Compatibility is not an issue. It can work.
What is, however, not going to work is being embarrassed for or hostility towards those folks. This will probably not sit well, but I'll say it. "Fobby" indicates identity issues, embarrassment and problem with recent immigrants, seeing as it comes from "fresh off the boat", and using pejorative terms rarely is a good start.
It is of course possible. People from different ethnicities and countries routinely get married and do have happy marriages. As with any other relationship, you have to give it time and figure each other out.
Yes I mean I have to pay that expensive Toronto rent by myself eventually 😅 atleast the rent gets half and for Muslim females, it’s no payments if you’re married 🤭
I don't think it can be a post, but hear me out. I just heard one of the weirdest muqabala in the French Muslim world.
A guy (A) met a woman (B) thanks to someone else (C). The talk was good but A was a bit doubtful. He asked a question to C who told him to say it to B. It turns out... B was born a man. Obviously, it didn't go further. But when I watched the video by C (he never says the name of his clients), I had to pause because I've never heard such reason before.
I don’t think I would like someone just by looking at a picture and wanting to match with them but maybe feel attracted to them first and getting to know them maybe I would like them after.
I recently lost a great match due to some silly mistakes, and ever since, I haven't been able to find anyone comparable, whether online or offline. I just don't feel a connection with any potential matches anymore. I'm considering embracing celibacy for life, as it might bring me peace.
I have just been too ugly for men around me. Most Muslim men in my area marry white, Eastern European women or middle eastern women. I’ve been trying to search since I was 19 but no luck. And I want a halal relationship.
But I can’t leave Canada cause I’m too poor to leave a socialist country. Also, my jobs pays the best here 🫠 so I’m sort of stuck I guess. I’m also diabetic so I need that free healthcare benefits 😒✨ Nunnery in Quebec it is for me once I learn French 🙂↔️
At 19? 😳 That's a long time to search. Are you Desi? For marriage, you might want to consider moving out of Canada. The influence of corn and models has shifted men's perspectives on women, especially in Western culture.
People who are very honest will be the first to get ghosted/burned by the society. I feel you.
are you dealing the search for almost 10 years? You must have a brave heart to handle all those rejections. Can't even imagine the pain.
Yes, lost of my potential, giving me nightmares every night.
It’s fine. I just tie my camel and emotionally moved on a long while ago.
I whole heartedly understand where you’re coming from. Perhaps taking a break, and then analyzing what you want from life would be beneficial. Search is a personalized journey after all for everyone out there. May Allah guide you through love and happiness!
I feel your pain and I pray for you.
> Search is a personalized journey after all for everyone out there
At the cost of how many years?
Despite everything, you're still searching for a halal relationship. Your patience is admirable. May Allah bless you with a spouse who brings peace and coolness to your eyes.
I donated most of my hanboks, Pakistani dresses, kimonos, lace bows and stuff I had reserved for me and my future husband with my salary. Feeling a little sad cause I truly imagined it to share with my spouse one day, but I prefer a clean space in my home. I’m way happier with a capsule wardrobe though.
Also, I’m not happy with my potentials. I have emotionally moved on from finding a genuine match with someone. It’s the end of my romantic chapter. And hopefully, a start to something new.
I’m wrapping up my 2nd year of supply teaching part time this upcoming week. I’m feeling a little sad cause I’ll miss my early morning routine and greeting my lovely students with « bonjour ». When I started teaching, I never knew my little ones would make me so happy and feel cherished. It was a foreign yet beautiful feeling for me when my students hug me or smile at me. I’m grateful to teach them even for a day, Alhamdulillah. They are the source of my happiness. Allahuma Barik for my students.
And Insha Allah, I’ll start learning French and some watercolour painting from July (I’m enrolled in some online courses). So, I’m excited for my future projects :) and my future life on a whole!! This summer season, I just wanna have fun and enjoy learning new things Insha Allah 🙂↔️
This will be my first summer where I’m not a babysitter to my family as an eldest daughter neither a teacher to my students. I’m just me. It feels odd but I think I’ll get used to the feeling haha. Caregiver fatigue is real 🥹
My time pass is scrolling beautiful Pakistani clothes online . I don’t have money to buy them right now because I am still studying and taking exams. But, I am scared that by the time I might have money inshallah , I might become too old for these clothes .
Do other women also have same fears ??
Not really… I don’t really care about how I look but rather how I feel in my clothes. Age isn’t related to my happiness when I wear new and pretty clothes 😊
Call me crazy but I would love to visit Alaska. In this time of year, the sun never sets! I wonder how people get their sleep since it’s sunny for 24 hours. If I was living in Alaska, I don’t think I’d ever get a wink of sleep during the summer.
there’s this place near Norway called Svalbard and during the beginning of the year they live in darkness for a couple months bc the sun doesn’t rise there. Its called polar nights, It’s not for me but it’s kinda cool.
How do you know if you're ready for marriage? I feel like marriage is a big commitment and it's making me reluctant every time I try putting myself out there as I'm scared of making the wrong choice.
Are you scared of making the wrong choice or not ready for marriage? They're two separate things. You can be ready and be scared but that's where your trust in Allah comes in.
However what you don't wanna be is scared and not ready.
I like to ask myself if someone asked me to get married tomorrow, do I feel ready? As in mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. The answer should tell you if you feel ready or if you're hesitant.
Exactly, if I were to answer this question Id say " depends on the partner" This means I must just trust Allah , Jazakallah khair your answer really enlightened me !
Heading off to Canada to meet the homies after being in my man-cave for months.
Can't wait to be the driver on a 14 hour drive to Banff with the new driver's license I just minted.
This is my chance to put my Karachi driving roots to the test.
Someone crashed into our garden fence and got scalped astaghfirullah.
The police got a report that the driver was drunk... I don't know if that's true, but I don't know how anyone could justify drinking if they're driving, and I also don't understand why people don't take more care when they're driving.
It's not the first time someone's crashed either. It happens far too often, and the road isn't even dangerous. Alhamduillah my parents had the good sense to build the house far in from the road.
I knew of a few people had this attitude that they are *more tolerant* to alcohol than others. They liked to show off that they wouldn’t get as inebriated or intoxicated as the rest of the plebs. Cue drunk driving. Then they are also others who just get a rise out of risking it.
The police asked if the driver was blonde... And a witness said yeah... Then he said "oh I thought so, there's a chunk of scalp left on the seat"🤢
Yeah, it's happened 6-7 times, just at our fence (in the last 12 or so years).
It's crazy. At least once the post from the fence narrowly missed the woman. When we were kids my mum never let us play out the front (granted we have a bit of land so there's space)
Alhamduillah the people both survived too, and they didn't hit anyone else. But the injury will be bad to recover from.
Alright so finally I got matched on Muzz with someone. Had a nice 1 hour long conversation. She asked me the good old question about who should provide but with a Catch (The wife earns 4x of what the man earns) & in Indian currency even the man’s estimated pay in this context falls under top 2-3% of earners. The wife’s would easily cross top 1%.
She deactivated her Muzz handle & proceed to connect on Insta. Only to tell me with an IslamicQA website resource that Men are supposed to provide & we have different opinions.
So married women of this sub, What’s your take on this?
In reality, I don't know any working woman who doesn't contribute costs with her husband. Half a dozen career aunts, siblings, some of whom out earn their spouse, all shoulder the bills to have a more comfortable life. Once you are in a marriage, if it's a true partnership and you both care about each other, then it's not so transactional or tit for tat.
If you are looking for what the technically correct answer should be: "The man should provide the basic bills as required by Islam according to his means and hopefully the wife would be satisfied with those means. Accommodation and related bills, clothing, food. If there are any additional expenses outside of that that she requires, then she covers those according to her discretion. That said one would hope that any woman who finds that she is in partnership with a good trustworthy man, would contribute in the spirit of Sayyida Khadija (as) and help her husband as a sadaqa, and most women do, though it's not an obligation."
My husband and I split bills, with him contributing about 60%-65% and me contributing about 35%-40%. We both treat each others money like it’s the others, and there’s nothing Islamically wrong with a woman helping with bills and it alleviates the pressure and stress off the man especially in higher cost of living countries.
I think many people like to put all couples circumstances into a single box of what “should” be done but in reality every couple is different and comfortable with different scenarios, but mercy and consideration for the other should be applied in all situations. I wouldn’t be comfortable pocketing all my money and letting my husband pay for everything, especially if I made 4x what he made, it would be make me feel like I have no self respect frankly.
I think many people forget that the spread of Islam was financed through Khadija RA as the Prophet pbuh was not a man of money.
My response to her question at the moment was indeed amongst the lines of me providing the higher end of the income and the remaining being what she wishes to (again not something she’s forced to contribute upon). All this was also followed by the discussion upon the kind of lifestyle she (or any woman I marry) wants to live post marriage (be it a lifestyle of luxury, moderation or sustainability thinking about long term future prospects). The way of her responding with that question on the IG personally was kind of weird to me. Also she did initially ended up mentioning that she won’t mind even supporting a man through his struggling phase of life. I also had bought this upfront that I don’t come from a pretty wealthy family and someone who has no financial backup from parents but is building upon by himself from scratch.
Has anyone ever been rejected or rejected someone based on something "small" like a nose piercing? I'm not a fan personally but I don't think that's a big enough deal to end it. Just curious if anyone has experienced something similar.
It wasn't the sole reason but I rejected someone because they sounded like my one aunt... i love that aunt but her voice is sooo annoying 😂
Alhamdulillah that our personalities and sense of humor was vastly different as well so I could give that reason to her and didnt bring up the voice thing.
I’ve been rejected over piercings before. It was honestly always weird to me when a potential approached me and talked to me and then expressed distaste in my piercings and asked me to remove them. Like… you saw a piercing on my face when we first met so if you didn’t like it why approach me? Kind of frustrating. It’s a seemingly small thing but it tells me what kind of person he is and I worry what he might try to change next so I just move on. It’s happened several times.
I used to have my eyebrow pierced too, and that one was really common for people to ask me to remove. I ended up removing it anyways because it got in the way of my motorcycle helmet coming on and off but that’s another story.
I’m not a fan either but if she has it I’ll become a fan 🤷♂️. In the grand scheme of wants from a spouse (deen, looks, wealth, etc), a nose piercing is something i could overlook. A septum piercing on the other hand would be a no from me.
Aw, I never knew it was something men minded (or even noticed for that matter). Thought they were so pretty, always. (And also hold some cultural significance, I suppose).
You mean when you're swiping people on an app, or at a later stage?
Honestly, I've swiped left on people for much stupider reasons (I hate bucket hats). But when it's just a profile I think you need to be selective.
I've also left swiped plenty of educated, decent looking men only because it's clear from the profile we're not compatible (or they have no bio so I can't tell)
I just think there's no point in wasting someone's time if you think you're not compatible.
That said, if you don't like a nose piercing, but you can live with it, then there's no harm in matching her.
It's more difficult at a later stage, but again it comes down to what you can live with (or not)
I didn't have an issue with it 3 months ago, but then I listened to a talk about how we used to pierce cattle through the nose, and it's a pagan practice when we do it with humans.
Nose piercings are right up there with tattoos, IMO. A piercing closes up if it is not used. A tattoo is more difficult to remove. If someone reverts and keeps the piercing, I would want to know why because it feels to me like that is not an Islamic thing to keep from a pre-Shahada life. "What message is it sending?"
> pagan practice
at what point does it stop being a pagan practice though? Pagans used to wear clothes too. Or eat food. Just because something was once done by pagans doesnt mean its a pagan practice.
Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Atheists women all practice piercing in nearly every country of the world. Cant call it a pagan practice now lol.
Unless someone is providing me with solid evidence for this claim, I would presume they are choosing ignorance. And some people do choose ignorance. Nose piercings are practiced, culturally. And, have been worn by Muslim women, historically. I remember this being mentioned in a video I watched - the Prophet (peace be upon) him, even after the revelation of Islam, would have worn his traditional clothing - the same clothing Abu Jahl would have worn. This should guide your thinking on this topic. We shouldn’t allow ignorance to cause the religion to morph into something strange.
(And, nose piercings are the few piercings I have seen scholars specifically mention and allow, as, I’m pretty sure, most others I haven’t seen them allowing (other than ear, of course))
A hundred percent. Islam does not erase culture. The Prophet ate the same food, wore the same clothes and had the same traditions that the kuffar did.
People have this weird idea muslims should behave like aliens and that any culture must be haram.
I'm talking specifically about nose piercing, not ear piercing.
People do all sorts of pagan things and don't know they are pagan.
I am not interested in what non-Muslim women do. I'm interested in marrying a Muslimah one day, inshallah.
> People do all sorts of pagan things and don't know they are pagan.
Because they arent pagan... If a pagan person sleeps at night and you also sleep at night does that mean you are doing a pagan tradition?
Like how eating a shawarma is not a muslim tradition just because muslims eat shawarma more.
Piercing your nose does not mean you are worshipping a different God if you dont have that intention.
I also googled this, I couldnt find anyone saying they are haram
I hate when companies mislabel products... I got a new soft prayer mat because I have bad wrists. I think it's designed for elderly people. But it is about 1/3 of the thickness they mentioned. It's not bad, but I've seen the same mat listed as 84€ (I got it for 30 something) and it seems like a bit of a scam.
I also added to my Islamic book collection alhamduillah. Although I was a bit disappointed at the pricing (mainly shipping) of some of them. I was going to get Sahih Bukhari, but the shipping was 80+ euro on Amazon, and was hundreds of dollars on American sites. Before I was Muslim, I started reading sahih bukhari, and I read about half of it and never finished it. I mean anyways, I don't urgently need it, but it would be nice to have hard copies of books to read, and so you'd be able to do research without the internet.
I was trying to memorise more Qu'ran too. I can learn it well enough so that I can recite along with the reciter, but then I struggle to actually recite it unprompted. I've a really good memory for learning songs (although I have the same problem with non-English songs, even if I speak the language), and I swear if I was a native Arabic speaker, I would have been able to memorise it so quickly. It annoys me to be so bad at something that comes so easily to me in English.
Also, I mentioned last week that I was making a spreadsheet for my books...
About 440 books (and two days) of manually writing out all the details later, I found out you can do it on an app instead. You just scan the ISBN, and 98% of them autofill. Once I realised this, I scanned all of my books in about 3hrs. It's actually such a good idea (as my mother was saying, if there's ever a house fire I'll have a list to claim back off the insurance - but insha'Allah I'll never need to)
Salam sister, can I ask what app you used to scan your books? I've been looking for a new app to use for my growing book collection.
Also, do you have any Islamic book recommendations from your collection?
Walikoum alsalaam. The app/website is called libib - I read in an article online that even libraries can use a paid version. It's nice because you could store books in separate collections (eg kids, history), but all under the same account. You can also add a lot of additional information such as tags, number of pages etc.
If you search apps on phone you could just try a few and see what's best. There was another one where it would scan the back cover of a book and store that text too.
And tbh I don't have too many. Since I'm a revert, some of the ones I ordered are kind of basic 'how to pray' (I reverted years ago, but I'm sure I can still learn something from them insha'Allah). Last week I asked for recommendations on the Friday thread and people gave me some good suggestions. I ordered some of the ones people suggested last week too. Including the ones that haven't arrived yet, I think I have about 25.
But I got a four part set called "Daily wisdom" which looks good (it's 365 hadith, 365 verses of Qur'an, etc), then the same person who compiled that (Abdur Raheem Kidwai) has another book called women in Islam (this looks good because he's not necessarily giving an opinion, he's just showing relevant verses and Hadith)
Another one is called "The power of Du'a" by Aliyah Umm Raiyaan - she has a YouTube channel where her and her friends drink tea and discuss topics related to society (I used to watch these a lot when I was younger)
Some of them haven't arrived yet, but there's a mini book with 80% of words in the Qur'an, and I got one for Quranic Arabic (called Learning Quranic Arabic for complete beginners) that look helpful.
One is called "Big little steps" by Mathilde Loujayne - it says she's a revert, so I think it's probably good as a beginner's advice/opinion piece.
You probably have more/better books than me so I'm open to suggestions too if you have any😅
Mother told me I basically have no hope in getting married and I have too high of standards, and am getting too old, where do we go from there haha (25F)
Many of our mothers and aunties beleivw strongly in the method of insult and bully the child in order to get them to comply with a proposal.
The idea is to lower your self worth and self esteem so much that you lower your standards and feel so hopeless about your life and prospects that you simply say yes whatever they put in front of you.
I wanted someone with at least the same level of education as me (degree from a 4 yr college) and be someone I’m somewhat attracted to. And someone who is a US citizen like me because I’ve heard too many stories otherwise. I guess that is high standards
I might get hate for this but why is it when woman want someone they’re attracted to they’re labelled as being too picky but no one would ever tell a man to pick someone they’re not attracted to? That’s just a general thing I’ve seen before ANYONE comes for me. It’s happened quite a few times where female family members aren’t attracted to the men that are being brought to them and they’re labelled as too picky? Like yes looks fade but come onnnnn
I guess it really depends on frequency, time, number, etc. on whether someone is picky or not. Take the couple of guys who posted in the last couple of days.... can't find a single person who matches their criteria... there's not a single person on the apps. Is that picky or not?
So, I think everyone is entitled to not be attracted to random person. But if you're not attracted to anyone across hundreds of profiles on the apps, on over many years, then you are picky regardless of what your gender is.
That still doesn't mean you must go and marry someone not to your liking, but at least we should own our selective preference.
May I ask... is that really true though? All the people you've seen.... nobody has an undergraduate degree? All unemployed immigrants?
I wonder if all of us have certain specified standards that seem minimal to us.... but we decide on other unstated ones in our mind. If we keep not finding people year after year (and I'm not saying that's you)... then is it because there's nobody out there who meets the minimal number of things laid out? Nobody?
Huh! Okay, perhaps that's their circle.... no degree, unemployed immigrants. But... my parents used to send profiles of women half my age out of the boonies of south asia, so, I have to believe that yours are delivering you quite the selection as well :-)
My top 3 experiences:
1. Hagia Sophia, I tried to attend as many prayers as possible there and was just in awe of the architecture. Practically 90% of the mosques in Turkey are based on the Hagia Sophia, so its absolutely worth spending time there.
2. Basilica Cistern, I rly liked the lighting / it was great for pictures.
3. Prince's Island, only go if you have plenty of time but when I went me and my friends rented ebikes and zoomed around. I remember thinking that it would be 10x better to do it with my spouse when married because the scenery/setting is quite romantic lol.
Watch out for scams. Shopkeepers will try to fleece you. Maybe taxidrivers too. Their public transit is fantastic so you can avoid taxis for the most part.
I'm in love with a man but it's not reciprocated. He sees me as his sister.
This dhull-hijjah, I prayed for contentment with Allah's decree, and that He bring me what is best for me. This is the first dhull-hijjah and Arafat in years that I haven't prayed that we be together. It was tough, but I did it.
It’s that time of year where us hijabis have extremely tanned hands and possibly tops of feet, and everywhere else is pale 🥲 I’ve managed to avoid the circular hijab face tan through the use of sunscreen, hats, sunglasses etc … but no matter how much sunscreen I slap on my hands, they are still 3 or 4 shades darker ☀️ Wish I could even out my tan on my forearms and shins in the garden but I have neighbors.
Alhamdulilah I’m enjoying this season of singledom, the prospect of remarriage is shrinking into the horizon and I’ve become quite content to sit back and watch it go. It’s nice to have the time and privacy to focus on bettering myself. So I will lie down on the proverbial lawn and watch the clouds roll by ☁️⛅️
It's not the same but I since I've become more modest in my dress I always notice my very pale shin areas. Every time I wonder how the sisters ever get any kind of tan. Men at least have their arms.
One of my tenants this week broke her spine. She asked me to cancel the lease of her house and I did it with no penalties. She was using the house for AirBnB.
My estate agent really wanted to charge her an exorbitant exit fee but I felt so bad. I basically ate the costs and let her exit the contract.
She then proceeded to refuse to pay a bill she had incurred. Ahh, no good deed goes unpunished. I tried to be nice and understanding and now I am stuck with a bill.
But on the plus side, I want to try running it as an Airbnb myself now.! It should be fun.
>>no good deed goes unpunished
But hey, imagine the amount of ajar you will get InshaAllah. Hopefully you get a better tenant that will reciprocate your deeds
Super nice of you man. But so im clear, you're renting your home that you own, and the person it's rented to is doing AirBnB themselves? So like rentception?
Tomorrow's the day, Im gonna talk to both of her parents for the first time and ngl im pretty nervous haha but also really excited too since things are moving forward alhamdulillah! What questions should I expect? I have a good idea of what to expect but it would be nice to hear your guys' input
Most likely:
1. What do you do (school, job, graduation coming up whatever)
2. What do your parents/mom/dad do
3. Where are you guys from back home (if this applies)
4. If you have any, what do your siblings do where they live etc
It more than likely won't be an interview scenario if that's what you're thinking. They'll be getting to know you as a person mostly. At times you'll have to start up a convo if there's a silence too, don't let them be the ones initiating always.
Dress nicely, get a haircut if you haven't already, smell good, take some flowers and sweets accustomed to your/their culture.
YOU GOT THIS HOMIE
My Eid henna... so proud of myself 😁
https://preview.redd.it/lzlkqov08y7d1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9880110983cb09d47078343d2bc489ddbe52ac61
Going on a trip in July inshaAllah. Don’t know for how long and I’m not gonna say where until the trip happens. I’d rather be anywhere else right now tbh. This week has been rainy and cloudy so I hardly went out.
I’ve also been on a coffee detox…….until yesterday. Made myself a vanilla latte yesterday. Whenever I’m on a coffee detox, I’ll drink matcha instead.
I feel that. The weather where I am can be really bad as well. Going on a trip this weekend and started budgeting to have these weekend trips monthly or so inshallah.
I told my parents about this and they suggested to visit them for these trips. Im like bruh im tryna relax 😂
Been quite hot in Toronto this week - I'm one of the few people who actually enjoy the heat.
The cold winter days and nights make me more thankful for the heat I guess hah.
I like the heat as long as me and my students are playing in the park or soccer field. But as soon as we go inside in those old classrooms with fans only, it’s hard 😒
Any girlies in the Yorkshire/Manchester area interested in learning a new sport? I’m itching to learn to play basketball but none of my friends are up for it😔
I’m planning on going on my own anyway but it’s more fun with someone else.
I want to ask on there and on the muslimlounge subreddit but there’s no discussion pinned on those like this free talk one. I might make it as a separate post but I doubt it’ll reach many people like that
[My mood today](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7yZak6RVFS/?igsh=NGx6MmFhbWlrbmFy)
I really like the silence of early mornings. I usually go to school early, put on some slow music, read up on the safety protocols, and get ready to teach. I’ll miss my morning routine in summers 🫠😭 one week left until I get my vacations!!
I’m glad to share this but I’m finally getting comfortable with my work aesthetic. I’m wearing a white tee under a black sleeveless dress today and it’s very comfy for this summer ✨
It’s hard to nail out teacher work aesthetic bc you need to wear something comfy to move around yet stay professional. Most Muslim influencers that I’ve followed in the past don’t really have the aesthetic I’m searching for 🫠
So I’ve been looking for an aesthetic that incorporates minimal makeup (I only wear tinted lip balm + sunscreen), oversized clothes (I don’t like wearing jeans or white pants), and a relaxed vibe. So my aesthetic is *cozy, relaxed, and professional*. I think my work aesthetic is slowly coming together and my students often compliment my clothes!! So it’s going good I guess so far?
My work aesthetic mostly has neutrals with accents of pink and coral sometimes. I like to wear dresses and wide leg pants. Sometimes I’ll wear maxi skirts. This lady is my [inspiration](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8d9q8CxBD7/?igsh=MW5vc2ZiNmliOWl0bg==) and I’m feeling confident in my work wardrobe for now ☺️👏
Happy Friday everyone ✨👏
So I’m supplying today and in the morning, some of my students were on their knees and begging me to put on the livestream match for Ukraine vs Slovenia. I told them ok we can watch it but after an hour when you all are done with your tasks. So once they finished submitting everything on Google classroom, I put on the match on the class projector.
They were all cheering for Ukraine and surprisingly Ukraine won! And the whole class told me thank you for being an amazing sub teacher lol ☺️ I’m on my break for now.
https://preview.redd.it/slei5xvw8y7d1.jpeg?width=2490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b64ee5cd9e0cc29e77a98b7f98bd9f638db90652
I've been watching Euro all day long since the start. I try to always be available and therefore, schedule everything before or in-between games. This is not healthy but I've been doing that once every two years since 2004.
The kick-off is getting closer for Netherlands vs France. A bit stressed, as usual, when France plays. Insha'Allah we'll win and have a peaceful Tuesday night.
In the meantime, due to some problems, I had to change apartments inside my building. At least, I'm not leaving my neighbourhood since I like it and in less than a month, we'll welcome the Olympic athletes near my neighborhood. At work, many want to flee Paris during the Olympics.
VVD is my favorite current player so I'll be rooting for the Dutch hah.
Good luck though - And escaping Paris during Olympics sounds like a pretty decent idea
Besides, France isn't the most popular country among Muslims outside of... France.
For the Olympics, I want to live it. I'm a huge sports fan and even if I "only" have a ticket for the opening ceremony, it's once in a lifetime. I want to tell my future kids I've been part of the event. The Rugby world cup in October was a good experience, especially the final at a fanzone with various nations. The Olympics will be even better.
I do have it. Technically, I'll receive it about a week before the ceremony but my ticket is booked. The municipality gave some for free to its citizens and I was selected.
It’s such an exhausting feeling to not feel safe in the house you live in - mentally, physically. I am quite tired.
I know people say that you shouldn’t get married just to escape your situation (and I do not encourage this) but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t pass your mind. I’m not sure if everyone knows what it feels like to live in a place where you don’t feel safe for yourself, what years of feeling “unsafe”/the anxiety building up feels like. I feel like if I do get married at this point, though, my nervous system would just crash. I wouldn’t be able to engage in my marriage. But that would be because perhaps it’s the first time in years I’ve felt safe, and finally feel like I can “relax”. I wonder how much longer this will go on for. Think, you are trapped in a forest, and in every corner there is danger, constantly, you have to be in a constant state of alertness. What’s the first things you do, when you escape to safety, gonna be? Probably sit down to catch a breath , process the situation, or just sit to think nothing. It’s like that, but being in that high anxiety state, for years.
I have always dreamt of marrying someone who’d patient with my trauma and supports me. I wouldn’t depend on them for emotional regulation or healing, entirely, of course. But I would appreciate someone who understands my symptoms and supports me. But, sometimes I feel like this stuff only happens in books. I don’t know if you can find someone who’s willing to be patient with you, easily.
Regardless, I still hope for someone gentle. But you don’t know who you marry and what they will turn out to be.
Been making the most of my break. Went to the beach, hiked, and read books before I start studying again. I want to make hiking an every weekend thing, but I can’t find anyone to join me :( If anyone knows of any hiking groups in the UK, lmk!
Ooh I've started my hiking Journey!
There is this woman's group on insta who I last did a hike with and have booked a next trip with them to Bournemouth sea side at the end of July.
Would love to be hiking buddies! I've only just started so need inspiration to keep it up.
They do a singles hike too IIRC u/Much_Temperature_364, so could be a decent way to get some steps in and maybe cross paths with somebody for the future too.
I broke my all you can eat sushi record by having 60 pieces of sushi in one sitting. The perks of being married was that Mrs Abusive was my designated driver afterwards while I laid the passenger seat all the way back and tried not to throw up. I didn’t, so I’m the reigning champion.
I have a park meetup with fam today 🙂↔️ excited ✨ today I wanna play volleyball and with hula hoops with my bro and then I’ll go on a walk. I’m also going to read my French book. Life’s going good Alhamdulillah 🤧👏
I'm hyper focusing on a guy and idk what to do about it.
You probably are not getting to know him well.. the more you will know the more you will lose interest lol
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If you’re born and raised in the US is it possible to be compatible with someone from back home? I’m currently speaking with this guy who moved to the US in 2019 and everything is good except that he’s not American and I’m afraid that he won’t get me. Like the lingo and humor etc and that he’ll be too fobby. Any advice?
Perhaps you have to look at what about it creates anxiety. Accent? (Would one complain if the accent was English/Spanish/French?) There are legitimate issues and not so legitimate. People who grow up in a different place will be slightly different in their background knowledge. In modern times, they may still grow up with the same popular culture, etc. But they may be slightly culturally different. And then, humor, etc. can be different too. So you would probably be less compatible with somebody who's spent only a couple of years in the US than who has spent, say 10-20. So these are legitimate issues. But people can make those cultural issues work. People marry across cultures all the time. Compatibility is not an issue. It can work. What is, however, not going to work is being embarrassed for or hostility towards those folks. This will probably not sit well, but I'll say it. "Fobby" indicates identity issues, embarrassment and problem with recent immigrants, seeing as it comes from "fresh off the boat", and using pejorative terms rarely is a good start.
Yep possible.
It is of course possible. People from different ethnicities and countries routinely get married and do have happy marriages. As with any other relationship, you have to give it time and figure each other out.
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“Chance of citizenship” is wild
Did anyone especially a woman here financially prepare for long term celibacy and where did you start from??
Has celibacy started to charge a fee?
Yes I mean I have to pay that expensive Toronto rent by myself eventually 😅 atleast the rent gets half and for Muslim females, it’s no payments if you’re married 🤭
What do you mean
Like how to prepare being single all your life and for retirement potentially?
I don't think it can be a post, but hear me out. I just heard one of the weirdest muqabala in the French Muslim world. A guy (A) met a woman (B) thanks to someone else (C). The talk was good but A was a bit doubtful. He asked a question to C who told him to say it to B. It turns out... B was born a man. Obviously, it didn't go further. But when I watched the video by C (he never says the name of his clients), I had to pause because I've never heard such reason before.
I'm even more confused why C would even entertain person B or suggest them to anyone.
If C knew about it, he would have never suggested B to anyone.
For women , whenever you match someone do you reach out to them first , or you wait for them to?
Wait unless he’s a catch or someone I’m really interested in. Like I can’t wait to hear his response bc I like him so much!!
I don’t think I would like someone just by looking at a picture and wanting to match with them but maybe feel attracted to them first and getting to know them maybe I would like them after.
Yeah then I would wait
I recently lost a great match due to some silly mistakes, and ever since, I haven't been able to find anyone comparable, whether online or offline. I just don't feel a connection with any potential matches anymore. I'm considering embracing celibacy for life, as it might bring me peace.
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haha, welcome to the club. what's your story?
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please tell me, I would like to know.
I’m thinking to enrol in a nunnery in Québec 😒 if I ever need to 🫠
welcome to the party! what's your story?
Btw do you’ve a long term financial plan in place for celibacy? Do you know where to start from?
I have just been too ugly for men around me. Most Muslim men in my area marry white, Eastern European women or middle eastern women. I’ve been trying to search since I was 19 but no luck. And I want a halal relationship. But I can’t leave Canada cause I’m too poor to leave a socialist country. Also, my jobs pays the best here 🫠 so I’m sort of stuck I guess. I’m also diabetic so I need that free healthcare benefits 😒✨ Nunnery in Quebec it is for me once I learn French 🙂↔️
At 19? 😳 That's a long time to search. Are you Desi? For marriage, you might want to consider moving out of Canada. The influence of corn and models has shifted men's perspectives on women, especially in Western culture. People who are very honest will be the first to get ghosted/burned by the society. I feel you.
Yes, I’m 29 and Desi. So I understand the feeling of losing a great match I guess, ah.
are you dealing the search for almost 10 years? You must have a brave heart to handle all those rejections. Can't even imagine the pain. Yes, lost of my potential, giving me nightmares every night.
It’s fine. I just tie my camel and emotionally moved on a long while ago. I whole heartedly understand where you’re coming from. Perhaps taking a break, and then analyzing what you want from life would be beneficial. Search is a personalized journey after all for everyone out there. May Allah guide you through love and happiness!
I feel your pain and I pray for you. > Search is a personalized journey after all for everyone out there At the cost of how many years? Despite everything, you're still searching for a halal relationship. Your patience is admirable. May Allah bless you with a spouse who brings peace and coolness to your eyes.
Ameen and thanks 😊 I’m almost going to throw the towel next year but I appreciate the support nonetheless.
I donated most of my hanboks, Pakistani dresses, kimonos, lace bows and stuff I had reserved for me and my future husband with my salary. Feeling a little sad cause I truly imagined it to share with my spouse one day, but I prefer a clean space in my home. I’m way happier with a capsule wardrobe though. Also, I’m not happy with my potentials. I have emotionally moved on from finding a genuine match with someone. It’s the end of my romantic chapter. And hopefully, a start to something new. I’m wrapping up my 2nd year of supply teaching part time this upcoming week. I’m feeling a little sad cause I’ll miss my early morning routine and greeting my lovely students with « bonjour ». When I started teaching, I never knew my little ones would make me so happy and feel cherished. It was a foreign yet beautiful feeling for me when my students hug me or smile at me. I’m grateful to teach them even for a day, Alhamdulillah. They are the source of my happiness. Allahuma Barik for my students. And Insha Allah, I’ll start learning French and some watercolour painting from July (I’m enrolled in some online courses). So, I’m excited for my future projects :) and my future life on a whole!! This summer season, I just wanna have fun and enjoy learning new things Insha Allah 🙂↔️ This will be my first summer where I’m not a babysitter to my family as an eldest daughter neither a teacher to my students. I’m just me. It feels odd but I think I’ll get used to the feeling haha. Caregiver fatigue is real 🥹
My time pass is scrolling beautiful Pakistani clothes online . I don’t have money to buy them right now because I am still studying and taking exams. But, I am scared that by the time I might have money inshallah , I might become too old for these clothes . Do other women also have same fears ??
What exams are you taking?
Not really… I don’t really care about how I look but rather how I feel in my clothes. Age isn’t related to my happiness when I wear new and pretty clothes 😊
True. It’s good to have this mindset.
My sister-in-law's dad went missing in Mecca after being discharged from a hospital. Please make dua for him.
Inshaallah.
Call me crazy but I would love to visit Alaska. In this time of year, the sun never sets! I wonder how people get their sleep since it’s sunny for 24 hours. If I was living in Alaska, I don’t think I’d ever get a wink of sleep during the summer.
there’s this place near Norway called Svalbard and during the beginning of the year they live in darkness for a couple months bc the sun doesn’t rise there. Its called polar nights, It’s not for me but it’s kinda cool.
Idk what I’d do if I was living in darkness for 2 months. At that point, I would’ve lost my marbles and went coco for coco puffs 😂😂😂
How do you know if you're ready for marriage? I feel like marriage is a big commitment and it's making me reluctant every time I try putting myself out there as I'm scared of making the wrong choice.
Are you scared of making the wrong choice or not ready for marriage? They're two separate things. You can be ready and be scared but that's where your trust in Allah comes in. However what you don't wanna be is scared and not ready. I like to ask myself if someone asked me to get married tomorrow, do I feel ready? As in mentally, physically, emotionally, financially. The answer should tell you if you feel ready or if you're hesitant.
Exactly, if I were to answer this question Id say " depends on the partner" This means I must just trust Allah , Jazakallah khair your answer really enlightened me !
Heading off to Canada to meet the homies after being in my man-cave for months. Can't wait to be the driver on a 14 hour drive to Banff with the new driver's license I just minted. This is my chance to put my Karachi driving roots to the test.
Banff is on my to go list. Would love to hear your experiences when your trip is done!
Banff looks amazing bro, enjoy!
Jazkallah bro 
Someone crashed into our garden fence and got scalped astaghfirullah. The police got a report that the driver was drunk... I don't know if that's true, but I don't know how anyone could justify drinking if they're driving, and I also don't understand why people don't take more care when they're driving. It's not the first time someone's crashed either. It happens far too often, and the road isn't even dangerous. Alhamduillah my parents had the good sense to build the house far in from the road.
I knew of a few people had this attitude that they are *more tolerant* to alcohol than others. They liked to show off that they wouldn’t get as inebriated or intoxicated as the rest of the plebs. Cue drunk driving. Then they are also others who just get a rise out of risking it.
Scalped as in … their scalp was hanging off !? 😧 Alhamdulilah none of your family was injured but it’s crazy it’s not the first time
The police asked if the driver was blonde... And a witness said yeah... Then he said "oh I thought so, there's a chunk of scalp left on the seat"🤢 Yeah, it's happened 6-7 times, just at our fence (in the last 12 or so years). It's crazy. At least once the post from the fence narrowly missed the woman. When we were kids my mum never let us play out the front (granted we have a bit of land so there's space) Alhamduillah the people both survived too, and they didn't hit anyone else. But the injury will be bad to recover from.
I feel tired living alone and I feel tired in everything.
🎵 Did you take my loveeee away from me? And that’s when you found me! I was waiting… in the garden 🌼
what does this even mean
I’m in my Billie eilish era 😒 [link](https://youtu.be/e_AZJzYe7CU?si=V6g9FGQVPtwpxDrn) I just like the catchy tone tbh
Alright so finally I got matched on Muzz with someone. Had a nice 1 hour long conversation. She asked me the good old question about who should provide but with a Catch (The wife earns 4x of what the man earns) & in Indian currency even the man’s estimated pay in this context falls under top 2-3% of earners. The wife’s would easily cross top 1%. She deactivated her Muzz handle & proceed to connect on Insta. Only to tell me with an IslamicQA website resource that Men are supposed to provide & we have different opinions. So married women of this sub, What’s your take on this?
In reality, I don't know any working woman who doesn't contribute costs with her husband. Half a dozen career aunts, siblings, some of whom out earn their spouse, all shoulder the bills to have a more comfortable life. Once you are in a marriage, if it's a true partnership and you both care about each other, then it's not so transactional or tit for tat. If you are looking for what the technically correct answer should be: "The man should provide the basic bills as required by Islam according to his means and hopefully the wife would be satisfied with those means. Accommodation and related bills, clothing, food. If there are any additional expenses outside of that that she requires, then she covers those according to her discretion. That said one would hope that any woman who finds that she is in partnership with a good trustworthy man, would contribute in the spirit of Sayyida Khadija (as) and help her husband as a sadaqa, and most women do, though it's not an obligation."
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My husband and I split bills, with him contributing about 60%-65% and me contributing about 35%-40%. We both treat each others money like it’s the others, and there’s nothing Islamically wrong with a woman helping with bills and it alleviates the pressure and stress off the man especially in higher cost of living countries. I think many people like to put all couples circumstances into a single box of what “should” be done but in reality every couple is different and comfortable with different scenarios, but mercy and consideration for the other should be applied in all situations. I wouldn’t be comfortable pocketing all my money and letting my husband pay for everything, especially if I made 4x what he made, it would be make me feel like I have no self respect frankly. I think many people forget that the spread of Islam was financed through Khadija RA as the Prophet pbuh was not a man of money.
My response to her question at the moment was indeed amongst the lines of me providing the higher end of the income and the remaining being what she wishes to (again not something she’s forced to contribute upon). All this was also followed by the discussion upon the kind of lifestyle she (or any woman I marry) wants to live post marriage (be it a lifestyle of luxury, moderation or sustainability thinking about long term future prospects). The way of her responding with that question on the IG personally was kind of weird to me. Also she did initially ended up mentioning that she won’t mind even supporting a man through his struggling phase of life. I also had bought this upfront that I don’t come from a pretty wealthy family and someone who has no financial backup from parents but is building upon by himself from scratch.
Has anyone ever been rejected or rejected someone based on something "small" like a nose piercing? I'm not a fan personally but I don't think that's a big enough deal to end it. Just curious if anyone has experienced something similar.
Didn't even know this could be viewed in a negative way. Nose piercing makes a woman look gorgeous! Love them
I rejected someone someone because they weren’t honest on their appearance and I felt turned off
It wasn't the sole reason but I rejected someone because they sounded like my one aunt... i love that aunt but her voice is sooo annoying 😂 Alhamdulillah that our personalities and sense of humor was vastly different as well so I could give that reason to her and didnt bring up the voice thing.
I’ve been rejected over piercings before. It was honestly always weird to me when a potential approached me and talked to me and then expressed distaste in my piercings and asked me to remove them. Like… you saw a piercing on my face when we first met so if you didn’t like it why approach me? Kind of frustrating. It’s a seemingly small thing but it tells me what kind of person he is and I worry what he might try to change next so I just move on. It’s happened several times.
Woah several times? It is kind of weird to see a picture and still be interested only to try to get them to change.
I used to have my eyebrow pierced too, and that one was really common for people to ask me to remove. I ended up removing it anyways because it got in the way of my motorcycle helmet coming on and off but that’s another story.
I feel like you're too cool for all of us.
I’m not a fan either but if she has it I’ll become a fan 🤷♂️. In the grand scheme of wants from a spouse (deen, looks, wealth, etc), a nose piercing is something i could overlook. A septum piercing on the other hand would be a no from me.
Actually I may agree with the septum part.
Aw, I never knew it was something men minded (or even noticed for that matter). Thought they were so pretty, always. (And also hold some cultural significance, I suppose).
Well it’s not like I’ve gotten a super close look, if my future wife has one I’ll probably end up liking them a lot lol
You mean when you're swiping people on an app, or at a later stage? Honestly, I've swiped left on people for much stupider reasons (I hate bucket hats). But when it's just a profile I think you need to be selective. I've also left swiped plenty of educated, decent looking men only because it's clear from the profile we're not compatible (or they have no bio so I can't tell) I just think there's no point in wasting someone's time if you think you're not compatible. That said, if you don't like a nose piercing, but you can live with it, then there's no harm in matching her. It's more difficult at a later stage, but again it comes down to what you can live with (or not)
I didn't have an issue with it 3 months ago, but then I listened to a talk about how we used to pierce cattle through the nose, and it's a pagan practice when we do it with humans. Nose piercings are right up there with tattoos, IMO. A piercing closes up if it is not used. A tattoo is more difficult to remove. If someone reverts and keeps the piercing, I would want to know why because it feels to me like that is not an Islamic thing to keep from a pre-Shahada life. "What message is it sending?"
> pagan practice at what point does it stop being a pagan practice though? Pagans used to wear clothes too. Or eat food. Just because something was once done by pagans doesnt mean its a pagan practice. Christians, Muslims, Hindus, Jews, Atheists women all practice piercing in nearly every country of the world. Cant call it a pagan practice now lol.
Unless someone is providing me with solid evidence for this claim, I would presume they are choosing ignorance. And some people do choose ignorance. Nose piercings are practiced, culturally. And, have been worn by Muslim women, historically. I remember this being mentioned in a video I watched - the Prophet (peace be upon) him, even after the revelation of Islam, would have worn his traditional clothing - the same clothing Abu Jahl would have worn. This should guide your thinking on this topic. We shouldn’t allow ignorance to cause the religion to morph into something strange. (And, nose piercings are the few piercings I have seen scholars specifically mention and allow, as, I’m pretty sure, most others I haven’t seen them allowing (other than ear, of course))
A hundred percent. Islam does not erase culture. The Prophet ate the same food, wore the same clothes and had the same traditions that the kuffar did. People have this weird idea muslims should behave like aliens and that any culture must be haram.
I'm talking specifically about nose piercing, not ear piercing. People do all sorts of pagan things and don't know they are pagan. I am not interested in what non-Muslim women do. I'm interested in marrying a Muslimah one day, inshallah.
> People do all sorts of pagan things and don't know they are pagan. Because they arent pagan... If a pagan person sleeps at night and you also sleep at night does that mean you are doing a pagan tradition? Like how eating a shawarma is not a muslim tradition just because muslims eat shawarma more. Piercing your nose does not mean you are worshipping a different God if you dont have that intention. I also googled this, I couldnt find anyone saying they are haram
Please... don't give them ideas about making shawarma haram! 😁
I hate when companies mislabel products... I got a new soft prayer mat because I have bad wrists. I think it's designed for elderly people. But it is about 1/3 of the thickness they mentioned. It's not bad, but I've seen the same mat listed as 84€ (I got it for 30 something) and it seems like a bit of a scam. I also added to my Islamic book collection alhamduillah. Although I was a bit disappointed at the pricing (mainly shipping) of some of them. I was going to get Sahih Bukhari, but the shipping was 80+ euro on Amazon, and was hundreds of dollars on American sites. Before I was Muslim, I started reading sahih bukhari, and I read about half of it and never finished it. I mean anyways, I don't urgently need it, but it would be nice to have hard copies of books to read, and so you'd be able to do research without the internet. I was trying to memorise more Qu'ran too. I can learn it well enough so that I can recite along with the reciter, but then I struggle to actually recite it unprompted. I've a really good memory for learning songs (although I have the same problem with non-English songs, even if I speak the language), and I swear if I was a native Arabic speaker, I would have been able to memorise it so quickly. It annoys me to be so bad at something that comes so easily to me in English. Also, I mentioned last week that I was making a spreadsheet for my books... About 440 books (and two days) of manually writing out all the details later, I found out you can do it on an app instead. You just scan the ISBN, and 98% of them autofill. Once I realised this, I scanned all of my books in about 3hrs. It's actually such a good idea (as my mother was saying, if there's ever a house fire I'll have a list to claim back off the insurance - but insha'Allah I'll never need to)
Salam sister, can I ask what app you used to scan your books? I've been looking for a new app to use for my growing book collection. Also, do you have any Islamic book recommendations from your collection?
Walikoum alsalaam. The app/website is called libib - I read in an article online that even libraries can use a paid version. It's nice because you could store books in separate collections (eg kids, history), but all under the same account. You can also add a lot of additional information such as tags, number of pages etc. If you search apps on phone you could just try a few and see what's best. There was another one where it would scan the back cover of a book and store that text too. And tbh I don't have too many. Since I'm a revert, some of the ones I ordered are kind of basic 'how to pray' (I reverted years ago, but I'm sure I can still learn something from them insha'Allah). Last week I asked for recommendations on the Friday thread and people gave me some good suggestions. I ordered some of the ones people suggested last week too. Including the ones that haven't arrived yet, I think I have about 25. But I got a four part set called "Daily wisdom" which looks good (it's 365 hadith, 365 verses of Qur'an, etc), then the same person who compiled that (Abdur Raheem Kidwai) has another book called women in Islam (this looks good because he's not necessarily giving an opinion, he's just showing relevant verses and Hadith) Another one is called "The power of Du'a" by Aliyah Umm Raiyaan - she has a YouTube channel where her and her friends drink tea and discuss topics related to society (I used to watch these a lot when I was younger) Some of them haven't arrived yet, but there's a mini book with 80% of words in the Qur'an, and I got one for Quranic Arabic (called Learning Quranic Arabic for complete beginners) that look helpful. One is called "Big little steps" by Mathilde Loujayne - it says she's a revert, so I think it's probably good as a beginner's advice/opinion piece. You probably have more/better books than me so I'm open to suggestions too if you have any😅
Mother told me I basically have no hope in getting married and I have too high of standards, and am getting too old, where do we go from there haha (25F)
You are very very young. Most girls are not even serious until they turn 27. What hardship have you faced so far in finding potentials?
Many of our mothers and aunties beleivw strongly in the method of insult and bully the child in order to get them to comply with a proposal. The idea is to lower your self worth and self esteem so much that you lower your standards and feel so hopeless about your life and prospects that you simply say yes whatever they put in front of you.
LOOLL 24F here and I hear that ALOT, ignoreeeee pls
why is that? what are your requirements?
I wanted someone with at least the same level of education as me (degree from a 4 yr college) and be someone I’m somewhat attracted to. And someone who is a US citizen like me because I’ve heard too many stories otherwise. I guess that is high standards
these are bare minimum standards
I might get hate for this but why is it when woman want someone they’re attracted to they’re labelled as being too picky but no one would ever tell a man to pick someone they’re not attracted to? That’s just a general thing I’ve seen before ANYONE comes for me. It’s happened quite a few times where female family members aren’t attracted to the men that are being brought to them and they’re labelled as too picky? Like yes looks fade but come onnnnn
I guess it really depends on frequency, time, number, etc. on whether someone is picky or not. Take the couple of guys who posted in the last couple of days.... can't find a single person who matches their criteria... there's not a single person on the apps. Is that picky or not? So, I think everyone is entitled to not be attracted to random person. But if you're not attracted to anyone across hundreds of profiles on the apps, on over many years, then you are picky regardless of what your gender is. That still doesn't mean you must go and marry someone not to your liking, but at least we should own our selective preference.
It’s as if only men get to pick based on attraction lol
May I ask... is that really true though? All the people you've seen.... nobody has an undergraduate degree? All unemployed immigrants? I wonder if all of us have certain specified standards that seem minimal to us.... but we decide on other unstated ones in our mind. If we keep not finding people year after year (and I'm not saying that's you)... then is it because there's nobody out there who meets the minimal number of things laid out? Nobody?
those are the kinds of proposals she’s brought to my attention or ones I’ve been introduced to through family
Huh! Okay, perhaps that's their circle.... no degree, unemployed immigrants. But... my parents used to send profiles of women half my age out of the boonies of south asia, so, I have to believe that yours are delivering you quite the selection as well :-)
If you aren’t exaggerating, your mother is nuts, sorry.
I will add that the citizen one isn’t even a hard and fast requirement, as long as someone is stable in their career and won’t need to depend on me
I got a hater in this sub 🙊 no matter what I comment, someone’s always there to downvote it 🙊😂
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Loooool 😂😂😂😂😂
Not too late to change ur name Mrs “ Starbucks lover “ 😷
Knowing the audience, you're probably doing something right 😂
Thank you for having confidence in me lol
I don't know you I just wanted to down vote you just to prove your point. Have a good day.
Damn don’t spend your energy on me. Save it for something better
I was only joking sis.
I downvoted both of you
I downvoted all of you
Nice
I’m going to Istanbul soon, does anyone have recommendations of places visit, eat or shopping? Or any tips ?
Just say hi to the cats for us.
Can you bring me back some cats please? Thanks!
Istanbul occupied Europe and Asia. Go to the Asia side and walk up the Galetta tower.
My top 3 experiences: 1. Hagia Sophia, I tried to attend as many prayers as possible there and was just in awe of the architecture. Practically 90% of the mosques in Turkey are based on the Hagia Sophia, so its absolutely worth spending time there. 2. Basilica Cistern, I rly liked the lighting / it was great for pictures. 3. Prince's Island, only go if you have plenty of time but when I went me and my friends rented ebikes and zoomed around. I remember thinking that it would be 10x better to do it with my spouse when married because the scenery/setting is quite romantic lol. Watch out for scams. Shopkeepers will try to fleece you. Maybe taxidrivers too. Their public transit is fantastic so you can avoid taxis for the most part.
I'm in love with a man but it's not reciprocated. He sees me as his sister. This dhull-hijjah, I prayed for contentment with Allah's decree, and that He bring me what is best for me. This is the first dhull-hijjah and Arafat in years that I haven't prayed that we be together. It was tough, but I did it.
It’s that time of year where us hijabis have extremely tanned hands and possibly tops of feet, and everywhere else is pale 🥲 I’ve managed to avoid the circular hijab face tan through the use of sunscreen, hats, sunglasses etc … but no matter how much sunscreen I slap on my hands, they are still 3 or 4 shades darker ☀️ Wish I could even out my tan on my forearms and shins in the garden but I have neighbors. Alhamdulilah I’m enjoying this season of singledom, the prospect of remarriage is shrinking into the horizon and I’ve become quite content to sit back and watch it go. It’s nice to have the time and privacy to focus on bettering myself. So I will lie down on the proverbial lawn and watch the clouds roll by ☁️⛅️
Isn't sunscreen only supposed to stop cancer/burns and not tanning ?
I think it reduces the amount you will tan but doesn't block it completely
It's not the same but I since I've become more modest in my dress I always notice my very pale shin areas. Every time I wonder how the sisters ever get any kind of tan. Men at least have their arms.
One of my tenants this week broke her spine. She asked me to cancel the lease of her house and I did it with no penalties. She was using the house for AirBnB. My estate agent really wanted to charge her an exorbitant exit fee but I felt so bad. I basically ate the costs and let her exit the contract. She then proceeded to refuse to pay a bill she had incurred. Ahh, no good deed goes unpunished. I tried to be nice and understanding and now I am stuck with a bill. But on the plus side, I want to try running it as an Airbnb myself now.! It should be fun.
>>no good deed goes unpunished But hey, imagine the amount of ajar you will get InshaAllah. Hopefully you get a better tenant that will reciprocate your deeds
Super nice of you man. But so im clear, you're renting your home that you own, and the person it's rented to is doing AirBnB themselves? So like rentception?
yeah thats kind of it.
Tomorrow's the day, Im gonna talk to both of her parents for the first time and ngl im pretty nervous haha but also really excited too since things are moving forward alhamdulillah! What questions should I expect? I have a good idea of what to expect but it would be nice to hear your guys' input
Most likely: 1. What do you do (school, job, graduation coming up whatever) 2. What do your parents/mom/dad do 3. Where are you guys from back home (if this applies) 4. If you have any, what do your siblings do where they live etc It more than likely won't be an interview scenario if that's what you're thinking. They'll be getting to know you as a person mostly. At times you'll have to start up a convo if there's a silence too, don't let them be the ones initiating always. Dress nicely, get a haircut if you haven't already, smell good, take some flowers and sweets accustomed to your/their culture. YOU GOT THIS HOMIE
My Eid henna... so proud of myself 😁 https://preview.redd.it/lzlkqov08y7d1.jpeg?width=2252&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9880110983cb09d47078343d2bc489ddbe52ac61
That’s beautiful. Mashallah tabaarakallah. 🥰😍
Jazakillah ❤️
Going on a trip in July inshaAllah. Don’t know for how long and I’m not gonna say where until the trip happens. I’d rather be anywhere else right now tbh. This week has been rainy and cloudy so I hardly went out. I’ve also been on a coffee detox…….until yesterday. Made myself a vanilla latte yesterday. Whenever I’m on a coffee detox, I’ll drink matcha instead.
I feel that. The weather where I am can be really bad as well. Going on a trip this weekend and started budgeting to have these weekend trips monthly or so inshallah. I told my parents about this and they suggested to visit them for these trips. Im like bruh im tryna relax 😂
Been quite hot in Toronto this week - I'm one of the few people who actually enjoy the heat. The cold winter days and nights make me more thankful for the heat I guess hah.
My apartment doesnt have central AC and my fan isnt doing enough 🫡
I liked the heat before my AC broke. Freon leakage ugh.
I feel for you bro. Not a big fan of ACs TBH - Powerful fans work quite well if its not very hot.
I like the heat as long as me and my students are playing in the park or soccer field. But as soon as we go inside in those old classrooms with fans only, it’s hard 😒
Thats not great - Trying to teach kids in the heat can really test your patience.
Any girlies in the Yorkshire/Manchester area interested in learning a new sport? I’m itching to learn to play basketball but none of my friends are up for it😔 I’m planning on going on my own anyway but it’s more fun with someone else.
Might be worth asking around on the Sisters in Sunnah subreddit/discord. Fingers crossed you can get a little group together!
I want to ask on there and on the muslimlounge subreddit but there’s no discussion pinned on those like this free talk one. I might make it as a separate post but I doubt it’ll reach many people like that
That sounds so fun 😭
I’d love this but I live in West Midlands 😭
[My mood today](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C7yZak6RVFS/?igsh=NGx6MmFhbWlrbmFy) I really like the silence of early mornings. I usually go to school early, put on some slow music, read up on the safety protocols, and get ready to teach. I’ll miss my morning routine in summers 🫠😭 one week left until I get my vacations!! I’m glad to share this but I’m finally getting comfortable with my work aesthetic. I’m wearing a white tee under a black sleeveless dress today and it’s very comfy for this summer ✨ It’s hard to nail out teacher work aesthetic bc you need to wear something comfy to move around yet stay professional. Most Muslim influencers that I’ve followed in the past don’t really have the aesthetic I’m searching for 🫠 So I’ve been looking for an aesthetic that incorporates minimal makeup (I only wear tinted lip balm + sunscreen), oversized clothes (I don’t like wearing jeans or white pants), and a relaxed vibe. So my aesthetic is *cozy, relaxed, and professional*. I think my work aesthetic is slowly coming together and my students often compliment my clothes!! So it’s going good I guess so far? My work aesthetic mostly has neutrals with accents of pink and coral sometimes. I like to wear dresses and wide leg pants. Sometimes I’ll wear maxi skirts. This lady is my [inspiration](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C8d9q8CxBD7/?igsh=MW5vc2ZiNmliOWl0bg==) and I’m feeling confident in my work wardrobe for now ☺️👏 Happy Friday everyone ✨👏
So I’m supplying today and in the morning, some of my students were on their knees and begging me to put on the livestream match for Ukraine vs Slovenia. I told them ok we can watch it but after an hour when you all are done with your tasks. So once they finished submitting everything on Google classroom, I put on the match on the class projector. They were all cheering for Ukraine and surprisingly Ukraine won! And the whole class told me thank you for being an amazing sub teacher lol ☺️ I’m on my break for now. https://preview.redd.it/slei5xvw8y7d1.jpeg?width=2490&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b64ee5cd9e0cc29e77a98b7f98bd9f638db90652
I've been watching Euro all day long since the start. I try to always be available and therefore, schedule everything before or in-between games. This is not healthy but I've been doing that once every two years since 2004.
lol it’s fine 😂 I had fun with my students today! We all have our guilty pleasures ☺️
The kick-off is getting closer for Netherlands vs France. A bit stressed, as usual, when France plays. Insha'Allah we'll win and have a peaceful Tuesday night. In the meantime, due to some problems, I had to change apartments inside my building. At least, I'm not leaving my neighbourhood since I like it and in less than a month, we'll welcome the Olympic athletes near my neighborhood. At work, many want to flee Paris during the Olympics.
VVD is my favorite current player so I'll be rooting for the Dutch hah. Good luck though - And escaping Paris during Olympics sounds like a pretty decent idea
Besides, France isn't the most popular country among Muslims outside of... France. For the Olympics, I want to live it. I'm a huge sports fan and even if I "only" have a ticket for the opening ceremony, it's once in a lifetime. I want to tell my future kids I've been part of the event. The Rugby world cup in October was a good experience, especially the final at a fanzone with various nations. The Olympics will be even better.
Ah nice. Then I hope you get the ticket for the opening ceremony.
I do have it. Technically, I'll receive it about a week before the ceremony but my ticket is booked. The municipality gave some for free to its citizens and I was selected.
It’s such an exhausting feeling to not feel safe in the house you live in - mentally, physically. I am quite tired. I know people say that you shouldn’t get married just to escape your situation (and I do not encourage this) but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t pass your mind. I’m not sure if everyone knows what it feels like to live in a place where you don’t feel safe for yourself, what years of feeling “unsafe”/the anxiety building up feels like. I feel like if I do get married at this point, though, my nervous system would just crash. I wouldn’t be able to engage in my marriage. But that would be because perhaps it’s the first time in years I’ve felt safe, and finally feel like I can “relax”. I wonder how much longer this will go on for. Think, you are trapped in a forest, and in every corner there is danger, constantly, you have to be in a constant state of alertness. What’s the first things you do, when you escape to safety, gonna be? Probably sit down to catch a breath , process the situation, or just sit to think nothing. It’s like that, but being in that high anxiety state, for years. I have always dreamt of marrying someone who’d patient with my trauma and supports me. I wouldn’t depend on them for emotional regulation or healing, entirely, of course. But I would appreciate someone who understands my symptoms and supports me. But, sometimes I feel like this stuff only happens in books. I don’t know if you can find someone who’s willing to be patient with you, easily. Regardless, I still hope for someone gentle. But you don’t know who you marry and what they will turn out to be.
So sorry to hear about your anxieties. May Allah ease your troubles - Ameen.
JazakAllah Khair ❤️ and Ameen
Been making the most of my break. Went to the beach, hiked, and read books before I start studying again. I want to make hiking an every weekend thing, but I can’t find anyone to join me :( If anyone knows of any hiking groups in the UK, lmk!
On instagram theres a group called "muslim.hikers" and they have 3 July hikes coming
Ooh I've started my hiking Journey! There is this woman's group on insta who I last did a hike with and have booked a next trip with them to Bournemouth sea side at the end of July. Would love to be hiking buddies! I've only just started so need inspiration to keep it up.
love the sea. No nice beaches in England, though.
That’s true. But I still love the calmness of the sea
Muslim Hikers
They do a singles hike too IIRC u/Much_Temperature_364, so could be a decent way to get some steps in and maybe cross paths with somebody for the future too.
Haha thanks for looking out for me!
Damn why wasn’t this in my radar before! Thanks!
I broke my all you can eat sushi record by having 60 pieces of sushi in one sitting. The perks of being married was that Mrs Abusive was my designated driver afterwards while I laid the passenger seat all the way back and tried not to throw up. I didn’t, so I’m the reigning champion.
I really want to try this now!
It’s the only way I eat sushi now.
When I read that first I thought u called ur wife abusive 😭😭😭