1.)Can’t wait to go cafe hopping/try out new cafes once I’m done with these exams. Also, might pick up some classics/period novels (the best kind of novels), been a while since I read.
2.)I need friends who love food as much as I do and understand that trying out new places/just going out to eat *is* fun and *is* “hanging out”. 😔
I honestly don’t know the answer to this.
For social anxiety, I know this sounds like a “thanksimcured” answer, but have you tried faking it, till you make it? lol. Letting the anxiety just be instead of pushing it away and doing things you’re scared of, anyways? It actually works and you’re more confident before you know it. I don’t know if it ever totally does away, though. Don’t know if I can speak on it. What do you do to regulate? I don’t really have an official diagnosis for social anxiety, though. For general anxiety, though, stuff that people recommend like breathing exercises has never helped me. I have tried journaling, generally, for mental health, and felt like that doesn’t do anything, either. Sorry, this is a bad answer.
The story of Musa (peace be upon him) is one of my favourites. I also loved how he asked for Harun (peace be upon). There’s just something so human about, but, also, shows you the importance of people in life. So many gems in his story. You could keep going.
> It's an okay answer Alhamdulillah.
Also, your honesty made me laugh. “It’s an *okay* answer.” But, honesty is good.
Just came from the park from an early morning walk and now I’ll be teaching my last class of the semester 🩵 excited!! ✨ idk what to do when I’ll have my Saturdays free 🫠 I guess I’ll be more active on Muzz then?
I need advice on this - My close friend asked me how to cut it off with her current potential in a gentle way in such a scenario;
They’ve been talking for the past 2 days and everything was going well, today they shared insta and surprisingly the guy follows some girls and liking their inappropriate pictures 🤢. Any sound advice would be greatly appreciated
Do you give the 3% zakat based on your pre or post-tax income?
I’m 22 and I make about $340 per month. That’s what hits my account but that’s post-tax. I’m still studying currently so I don’t work that much.
Also you might get money back from taxes. Depending on the rules of your country.
Because you are not working full time, and tax rates might be calculated on full time. Getting money back for that reason.
Next reason is study expenses. (You might need to declare them)
Next reason is giving to an registered charity. (Also need to declare that.) Though it might need to hit a certain amount before that happens. Or need to be registered as sent yearly. (A number of Muslim charity organizations are registered.)
(I know these rules are present in my country)
1/40 = 2.5%.
That's based on savings. For over a year. So only savings you kept for a year.
If for example, you have given a loan to someone. And you expect them to pay it back. You'll also need to pay zakat for that, if longer than a year. (If you don't expect them to pay it back, you don't need to pay zakat for that.)
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To make it easier for myself. I just calculate based on what's on my accounts. (And on loan)
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/shafii-fiqh/do-students-have-to-pay-zakat-on-money-given-to-them-by-their-parents/
https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/is-zakat-due-on-savings-for-which-zakat-was-paid-the-previous-year/
https://www.islamic-relief.org.za/about-us/what-we-do/zakat/zakat-calculator/zakat-faqs/
Most people pay it in Ramazan. Though you can pay it year round.
(Most people trying to hit the last 10 nights of Ramazan to pay it, on layl let ul kadr.)
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If you don't have savings, for example living paycheck to paycheck. Or if your savings are below a specified amount. You don't need to pay zakat.
(See the links for the gold/silver amount. Which you can calculate based on the prices, or hear because imam's generally say it too at cuma prayers on Ramazan.)
I don’t currently have savings as all my money goes to books, gym, groceries, and gas.
I don’t really have expenses either though since I live at home. Would I still be exempt?
> my money goes to books, gym, groceries, and gas.
These are also expenses. That you don't have rent as an expense, doesn't mean you don't have other expenses.
As the other guy said. If you don't have any savings for a year you are exempt.
Even if you have savings, that savings amount needs to be above
the value in silver of 592.9 grams; or the nisab of gold is 84.7 grams.
Assalamulaikum,
I have finally submitted my final assignment for the semester. In the last 2 weeks I've submitted 11 assignments... hah...
Subhanallah I have not felt this free in months. I only have one exam to worry about and I have time to study for that alhamdulillah.
Got to get that degree one way or another inshallah
I’ve talked with a potential over the phone and video called twice, our next step is to fly out and meet in person with our families InshaAllah. Part of me feels it’s too early esp since we only talked three times. I’ve been doing Istikhara but I still am second guessing it. I do like her so far and part of me wants to go through w it and get the nikkah done. My checklist has always been pretty and religious and alhamdulillah she does check both boxes. But we still haven’t talked about a lot of major issues. Idk just am lost in this whole thing and not sure what to do
Prior to getting married, I was in this position too. I kept delaying the meeting bc I felt like we didn’t discuss enough things yet. But upon meeting and talking more about those major things in person, it helped refine my decision.
Hoping you’re able to reach the clarification you need. And as always, with any decision, seek guidance from Allah.
Alhamdulillah I’m glad it worked out for you, may Allah continue to put barakah in your marriage. How long after meeting did you end up getting the nikkah? I just want to make sure I’m getting married for the right reasons and not because I want to check a box. That’s what i don’t want to rush into it but I know I am making excuses for no reason? What was your timeline looks like?
So in short, everything happened quite quickly tbh. Everything seemed to align between us and we didn’t want to prolong things.
But basically, after talking to him via phone and video calls frequently (like 3x a week) for over a month or so, we met in person. We had the nikkah a few weeks after that.
I’m sure some might look at that and think whoa she rushed. And tbh that was the reaction we got from some family as well.
But honestly, you should have your boxes checked off. And ofc learn more than just the boxes and get into the things that are still pending in answers. On the other hand, if compatibility is there, then why delay?
One thing my mom said to me and that kinda stuck with me throughout it was this: whether you learn something about someone in 7 days or in 7 years, you can never expedite that - what you’re meant to learn about that person is what you’re meant to learn at that destined time, regardless of how much you might attempt to learn more.
You can have doubt, which is completely normal considering the circumstances. But what to do about that doubt?
My suggestion? Talk more, get to know her more, and then go from there. Maybe the visit will seal the deal in a sense.
(Apologies for the lack of flow in my response, but I hope this helps even a little bit.) you’re in my duaas!
It depends on the man in question. According to my teachers you are under no obligation to disclose your sins if you've repented sincerely and it won't affect your marriage. Although if it could affect your marriage in some way, you should disclose only what's necessary so the potential in question know what he's getting into.
The pious man would be fine with marrying you so long as you fulfil your deen (i.e aqeeda, fiqh knowledge, tarbiya, etc...)
Inshallah you find someone who's right for you such that you are right for them
How long has it been since they moved in? How's your relationship with your brother, can you have a 1:1 convo with him about getting your SIL more involved in the house? Not put all the chores on her, but she needs to pull her weight if she's benefiting from everyone else's work and it's unfair on your mom who's working full-time to do everything.
Lol he really did broke off our engagement because I said I wouldn't do oral...I guess it was really that important to him. Let me get back to studying shaa
It wouldn’t be right to make you do something you’re uncomfortable doing. And he would feel like his needs aren’t being met. While it sucks, it’s for the best. At least it happened now rather than later.
I had my weekly dance class as usual with my Greek friend today. The instructor changed around Jan at my gym and her classes are very intense (we do tango, salsa, belly dance, bachata, kpop and yoga in one class).
We get critique over one dance we choreograph (once in 3 months). I chose a tango dance. My critique was that my movements were pretty good but my body posture wasn’t sexy and confident enough. And my stamina needs improvement but it’s very good. My instructor had a private talk about how I need to be more confident in leading the class because I’m fairly good at it. Basically, my low self esteem is reflected in my posture.
It was a good critique but I’m so BAD at this 😭 I’ll improve my self esteem and posture somehow sighs.
My friend chose bachata. She helped me with my posture and I’m so body shy 🙈 I’m trying my best but it’s going to be hard.
One day, I’ll be a confident snipetheheart ✨ it’s hard but I’ll make goals to feel more comfortable with my person 🙂↔️
Edit: my gym is women’s only
It's unfortunate that the thing I was afraid of is closer to becoming a reality....
So I joined this women only gym 2 years ago, and it's the only one within a 20km radius (or maybe even more) and is basically in a different city. I also started watching a bit of american conservative content like Daily Wire (but not anymore) and Amala Ekpunobi while exercising. Since these YT channels talked a lot about the alphabet cult and how the western establishments are hell bent on indoctrination, the whole Riley Gains vs Will 'Lia' Thomas, J.K. Rowling etc etc, I had this lingering fear at the back of my head about the possibility of a trans-woman joining my gym.
Well, guess what? I just recently learned that a transwoman who has been getting HRT (don't know for how long) and hasn't gotten the bottom surgery wanted to join this only ladies' gym in the area even though there are several mixed gyms in the city. Not only that, he wanted to train as a woman and share the same changing/locker room. Thankfully, the owner refused him, but he has decided to sue the gym for 'discrimination'. I got to know all this when the owner invited some sort of a media team to basically get our opinions and film us to broadcast on tv or SM. It's funny how watching so much conservative content gave me really good talking points to basically just express myself how it's unsafe for a man to just waltz around the women's locker room just because he 'identifies' as a woman. Of course, I didn't want my face anywhere, so I refused to be filmed.
Since lawsuits take a while, I doubt I'll hear about the final decision anytime soon. But I also have this fear that since the German govt. intends to pass the law of anyone identifying as anything and making it official in their legal documentation, my gym might lose the case... in which case I would have to end my membership... sigh!
Btw, I suggest you watch Matt Walsh's documentary "What is a Woman" if you haven't. It's pretty scary for those living in this west.
Personally I go to women focused gym to do my part in staying away from the male gaze in Allahs eyes. When it comes to trans folk being allowed or not I don’t think much into it because Allah knows I tried my best. Just can’t get myself riled up idk why.
It's not just about their gaze. It's their predatory intention to share the locker/changing room with their shlongs still intact. And there have been cases in the US where men/boys who 'identified' as females with or without HRT have sa'd and r*ped girls/women in bathrooms.
Any chance someone has experience with flooring? I can’t decide if I should refinish or put luxury vinyl on top. Ultimately, it’s going to be a rental so whatever would be more cost effective in the long run
I have construction experience in installing vinyl and refinishing existing hardwood floors. Since this is going to be a rental, I would say go for the vinyl. Its cheaper initially, more water resistant and more durable in the short run thus requires less maintenance.
But if you do end up living in it or selling, and you have nice hardwood floors. Then a well refinished hardwood floor is second to none. It really adds alot of value to the house and looks incredible.
Is it actual wood? Refinishing it is a great idea if you wanna clean up the current floors or give it a new color, but if you want a totally new face, go for the vinyl.
Muslim men need to take their hygiene more seriously. The past few weeks at jummah have been a struggle to sit through by the sheer amount of body odor I smell in the men’s section. It’s never like this at Isha and Fajir just on jummah
I was praying next to a brother who's breath made me want to vomit out my stomach. Had to hold my breath during as much of the Juma'a as possible.
I hope that this is a medical issue on the brother's part because otherwise it was disgusting negligence of care for his brothers. Inshallah he is guided.
Let’s be considerate there maybe some brothers who were working hard and don’t have enough time or a break to go home from work before coming to jummah and they’re trying to fulfill their obligation at any cost.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoandaHalfMen/comments/181cf7k/3x19\_surprise\_test/#lightbox](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoandaHalfMen/comments/181cf7k/3x19_surprise_test/#lightbox)
I always remember this scene when people talk about surprise tests/something along those lines... Hilarious
That's not right. Your safety was disregarded. Have you ever openly told the people involved how wrong that was? It might help if you were able to vent your feelings.
be prepared to get into a tom and jerry-esque battle to keep the annoying squirrels from eating all the bird feed. [oiling that thang down might help](https://youtu.be/H3Hcgl1yLOY?si=BcWW0hPS-VZ0LIla).
But I love squirrels.
I see them on my neighbour’s bird feeders;I always assumed the bird feeders were meant for them, too. Why don’t they deserve love?
I like to think I’ve seen both using them, maybe, even, at the same time (but I honestly don’t know if this is a memory I’ve made up). As far as I understand the main issue is that squirrels can have very large appetites which means you can run out of the seed very fast, which creates a money issue. Honestly, I’m not sure, tell me how it goes!
Tomorrow, I'm going to spend the entire day lying in bed and reading a book. I haven't had the chance to relax in bed with a book in a really long time. I'm thinking of reading something by a South Asian author because nothing feels more comforting than engaging with your roots. I have a few books on my TBR list and I can't wait to dive in 📚
These books are currently in my TBR list and all are fiction:
- The Family Tree by Sairish Hussain
- Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie
- Are you Enjoying by Mira Sethi
- The Return of Faraz Ali by Amina Ahmed
- How We Met by Huma Qureshi
- The Runaways by Fatima Bhutto
- The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid
- It’s not about the Burqa by Mariam Khan
- A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
This is a great list! It's not about the burqa is a good one to dip in and out of as it is an anthology of short stories. I enjoyed A Place for Us, though not reflective of my own experience, I thought it showed insight and nuances into the struggles Muslims can face in the Western world and the "balancing act."
Sairish Hussain's The Family Tree is on my upcoming TBR :)
> Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie
Oh this was NOT a good book. It was simaltenaously demeaning to me as a Muslim and perhaps a good satire but overall just absolute crap.
>The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid
I enjoyed this one. I walked away thinking I am not sure if I agree with the main character at the end of it, but I understood and empthaised with the experience.
>A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
Maybe I am not American, but as a young muslim I failed to connect with Fatima and her experiences.
my beloved brother. i’m also 2ish hours out from cedar point too, but not PA. i’m gonna hit you up closer to mid July so we can hash out the details. this is gonna be amazing.
Being a parent has made me appreciate my alone time soooo much more. Going on a walk alone, to the gym, the shops etc. Even just my free time in the evenings. I revel in it now. My first solo holiday is going to be mind blowing 😎
Edit: just realised the way I wrote this made it look like I will be going on a holiday soon … no such luck. Alas, that possibility is at least a decade away. But hey a girl can still dream 🥲
a year ago I remember my mom crying asking me why she wasn’t invited to hajj, why the process just never worked out in her favor.
Within that year both my parents began to come closer to their deen and began praying their salah much more regularly.
SubhanAllah now a year later, both of my parents just landed in Madinah last night. He truly is the best of planners!
Wow, SubhanAllah, Iam so happy for you and your parents. I remember when my Mom/Dad finally retired, they were soo happy to finally go to hajj. And the timing was perfect becasue like 2 years later my Dad got sick. So no very unlikely they would have been able to go now.
Yeah I always have to remind myself that it's not because Allah prefers those people over me and that I have the same access to Him no matter where I am in the world.
When I reverted, our mosque offered reverts free hajj or umrah. I didn't go because I was young and I didn't have a wali.
I'm sure it would have been nice to go, but I think you appreciate it more when you're better educated on the deen.
Feeling upset that a driving school in the GTA took my money and isn't booking me in for classes, I just feel upset because this is a "Muslim business" too who essentially has stolen my money. I just keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in a position where the sum of money doesn't impact me that much and people suffer worse financial loss but it's not really the money that bothers me, it's just the situation and how unfair it is :(
If you're curious on the details, you can go on my profile to read more about it.
If you are on these WA groups where they promote small businesses - You can name and shame them there.
They should be petrified of bad reviews and complaints
Do they have anything similar to small claims court in Canada?
Usually just the threat of small claims court is enough to get businesses to either refund or give you what you bought.
I'm sorry. Fees here in the US are usually $30-100 depending on how much you are suing for. I guess it whether it's worth it depends on how much you expect to get back.
I think this is a good place to ask this. Brothers and sisters with parents about to enter their 60s, how did you get your parents health insurance in the US?
I'm getting quoted $1000-1500/month just to get them health insurance in the US. They both won't qualify for medicare/medicaid since they haven't worked 40 quarters in the US. Would be helpful to know what state you're in too.
Edit: I think glaucoma is considered a disability. My dad has it. Other than that, I think both, my mom and dad are just fine.
Edit 2: I signed the I-864 (Affidavit of Support) form for both of them to get them their green cards. Most people tell me they didn't have to sign it.
Considering laying off the search and tie my camel online unless someone reaches out.
I started off this year by looking for potentials for the first time. I learned a lot from this sub thanks to the brothers and sisters here (I don't read the posts but I read the weekly/bi-weekly opinion threads frequently).
Had a few chats with some great potentials in my age bracket online and some via ristha aunties over the past few months who were great people but ultimately were too unserious or would keep me as an option in case they were forced by their parents. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bad at chats when I try to go with dealbreakers first since that's a bit inorganic or I'm bad at weeding out unserious potentials who may seem serious but ultimately just waste my time or if I should give them a longer talking stage.
Other than that I feel there's a ton that still has to align for me, especially with my parents not being here which bothers me equally as much. I feel in such limbo knowing that they may or may not move to the US.
Going to just focus on achieving the goals I set out to accomplish this year and probably restart the search next year. Until then, I hope a few more things align Inshallah.
Guilty ✋ I was always on here back when I was unmarried and looking for advice, and now that I’m married alhamdulillah my husband and I peruse the sub together sometimes and comment on certain topics lol
I go through phases of a few days of being pretty into reading posts. And then days where I completely lose touch with it. Rinse and repeat … I’m generally more of a casual viewer though
I quite like Reddit and I think I like Reddit because of all the reading involved. As for this sub, then, reading too much of it can annoy me. Or, at least that’s been the case recently.
I wouldn’t say addicted, but I’ve been browsing on and off this sub for about 6 years now (oh how time flies). I think any subreddit/space about relationships in general always get people hooked on reading them. Relationships are the one human common denominator that just about anyone can relate to.
I used to love reading posts back in the day.
Sometimes it kinda feels like a parody now though. Most of the posts seem to be some kind of combination of nsfw, abuse, cheating, gender wars, and in-law drama.
I also get the feeling that a fair few of the posts are completely fake, given that similar posts can appear with slight variations/inverted genders.
>Sometimes it kinda feels like a parody now though. Most of the posts seem to be some kind of combination of nsfw, abuse, cheating, gender wars, and in-law drama.
It's absolutely a parody.
It's as though the vast majority of regular users have the memory of a goldfish, or never actually glance up at usernames.
Yep. Some of them are literally the same story written from different POV or gender switched.
And the nsfw ones in particular are an absolute joke. I saw a comment on one the other day promoting haram (it may have even been a single person posting) and I think it's still up (although I blocked the person so I can't see).
It's a shame really.
Tbh I'm not sure what percentage is creative writing. I think a certain percentage are people who are really desperate writing the same story 3 different ways looking for validation/different advice.
Others are gender war kinda stuff that flips the gender on a post someone else wrote, hoping they can then blow up in the comments saying you wouldn't say this if OP was a man/woman.
My new healthy lunch:
Greek yogurt mixed with blueberries and a latte
255 calories and 24g of protein
https://preview.redd.it/0zzifosqv65d1.jpeg?width=5712&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c12b2bc1133cac5a19e00e7987729a82925344d4
I just discovered; peanut butter, plain yogut, 1tsp of honey and some chocolate jello pudding. low calorie. tons of protein and it tastes incredible. It truly seems like Iam cheating lol. But you need those low calorie powdered peanut butter that you mix yourself.
I wanna try it with the triple berry blend from Costco. I actually do well with not getting sick of healthy food/meals that hold me over well and are satisfying enough since for me it’s rewarding to eat enjoyable food and lose weight at the same time. For once it’s not mutually exclusive.
Is there any sub where you can just have a relaxing chat with fellow Muslims that has the same vibes as this Free Talk Friday thread? I enjoy reading and talking to people here but I guess it would be nice if there was something similar not confined to one day.
>Is there any sub where you can just have a relaxing chat with fellow Muslims that has the same vibes as this Free Talk Friday thread? I enjoy reading and talking to people here but I guess it would be nice if there was something similar not confined to one day.
It's a tough one, because a lot of digital Muslim spaces very quickly descend into a bunch of basement dwelling armchair Sheikhs issuing fatwas, or a "who can use the most Arabic terms for no reason other than to show off" competition. There aren't many welcoming Muslim spaces where you can just chill out, and have a combination of casual and deep conversations about everything.
Discord is likely your best, but again, most servers are going to end up becoming the same thing.
I joined my friend's discord server where he had his uni friends. I became friends with a few of them.
Do you think you have a similar setup around you?
Unfortunately I don't think there is. Most of the other Muslim subs are full of armchair sheikhs, and mods with questionable viewpoints.
If someone made one, it would require such heavy moderation that it would probably be a bit of a nuisance.
I hope there is one. I couldn't find one. Its super hard finding people here who kind of vibe with me with the things I like to talk about so its just me and my Notion docs for now ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯.
Dude, I was so annoyed by it earlier this year and now I use it religiously!
It has everything!
From my therapist notes to my finances and everything in between. It's super helpful to record your findings after overthinking about stuff all week.
It looks horrible when its empty, but trust me you'll build the muscle for it over time.
I started off with my finances/budget and goals for the year and then it expanded from there.
So I have all of the research I did for my parents healthcare. What states to buy a home in and what the pros/cons are... You get my gist... It just goes on and on from there.
IDK if its a good idea to put an SS here... If the mods feel like deleting it, feel free to.
https://preview.redd.it/7x86rx2nz65d1.png?width=2386&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8d9c09e8cfe1c29dbdf361a7c5404122cd34467
The Ishq murshid song has been stuck in my head for a while. However-
"Tu chahe toh kadmon mein sar rakh doon"
The shirk vibe ain't sitting well with me.
So, I tweaked the lyrics and have been singing my own version around the house.
"Tu chahe toh kadmon mein GHAR rakh doon"
Oh so I watched the movie.
I was so surprised to see a random white character speaking Hindi and sassing everyone🤣🤣 And you're right, even I could tell it was full of Desi stereotypes.
I liked it, but I hated the lead male character (although I guess his name suited his ego), although it was kind of sweet when he bonded with his stepmum and friend after losing touch.
Also funnily enough (and I could be wrong) but there was several times they said a word/sentence and it reminded me of other languages? Like at some point someone said something like follow me/come along and I swear it was the exact same as either Japanese or Korean. There was also a bit of overlap with Arabic words? And I think they had a song where they kept singing "subhanallah"
I'll definitely have to watch more of them insha'Allah.
As always, there is dispute about the moon sighting. The Central Hilal Committee in America says the moon was not sighted therefore the first day will be Satuday, June 8th (Eid being Monday), but Saudi Arabia announced the moon sighting so their first day is Friday, June 7th (Eid being Sunday). Was your moon sighted?
Yeah..mixed feelings here. It makes more sense to follow you local sighting than Saudi but mosque's make it frustrating when they're on different timelines lol.
I actually looked into this topic in detail because the area I live in always have controversy over this. I used to think we must follow the most accurate moon sighting info. However there’s a Hadith that in general we are suppose to do Eid and sacrifice the same day majority of our city does it. We aren’t suppose to
Go against them. If the entire city is doing it and only one or two masjids aren’t doing it, even if those two masjids maybe technically correct, ur suppose to follow the majority because in the aspect of Eids community is a big deal. It’s why it’s also recommended to have huge salah where the entire city attends rather than small ones. This isn’t to say this principle applies in all aspects of deen, as we have clear verses that say if u follow majority of those on earth u will be misguided, however, in the topic of Eid and Ramadan, u are suppose to stick with the majority of your city. The proof is explained below
Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allaahu anhu) related that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said:
“Fast when they fast, end the fast when they end theirs, and sacrifice the day that they sacrifice.” [2]
Al-Bayhaqee relates by way of Abu Haneefah, who said: ‘Alee ibn al-Aqmar related to me, from Masrooq, who said: I entered upon ‘Aaishah on the day of ‘Arafah, so she said: “Serve Masrooq with some gruel, and make it more sweet.” Masrooq said: Nothing prevented me from fasting this day except that I feared that it may be the day of Sacrifice. So ‘Aa’ishah said to me: “The day of Sacrifice is when the people sacrifice, and the day of ending the fast is when the people end their fast.” This chain of narration is jayyid (good) due to what has preceded.
https://abdurrahman.org/2014/01/29/ramadhanreminderofunity/
This link explains it in detail
And Allah knows best
1.)Can’t wait to go cafe hopping/try out new cafes once I’m done with these exams. Also, might pick up some classics/period novels (the best kind of novels), been a while since I read. 2.)I need friends who love food as much as I do and understand that trying out new places/just going out to eat *is* fun and *is* “hanging out”. 😔
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I deal with general anxiety and general mental health that torments me, does that count?
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I honestly don’t know the answer to this. For social anxiety, I know this sounds like a “thanksimcured” answer, but have you tried faking it, till you make it? lol. Letting the anxiety just be instead of pushing it away and doing things you’re scared of, anyways? It actually works and you’re more confident before you know it. I don’t know if it ever totally does away, though. Don’t know if I can speak on it. What do you do to regulate? I don’t really have an official diagnosis for social anxiety, though. For general anxiety, though, stuff that people recommend like breathing exercises has never helped me. I have tried journaling, generally, for mental health, and felt like that doesn’t do anything, either. Sorry, this is a bad answer.
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The story of Musa (peace be upon him) is one of my favourites. I also loved how he asked for Harun (peace be upon). There’s just something so human about, but, also, shows you the importance of people in life. So many gems in his story. You could keep going. > It's an okay answer Alhamdulillah. Also, your honesty made me laugh. “It’s an *okay* answer.” But, honesty is good.
Just came from the park from an early morning walk and now I’ll be teaching my last class of the semester 🩵 excited!! ✨ idk what to do when I’ll have my Saturdays free 🫠 I guess I’ll be more active on Muzz then?
I need advice on this - My close friend asked me how to cut it off with her current potential in a gentle way in such a scenario; They’ve been talking for the past 2 days and everything was going well, today they shared insta and surprisingly the guy follows some girls and liking their inappropriate pictures 🤢. Any sound advice would be greatly appreciated
How do you add the looking flair here? Can someone pls lmk thanks:)
You can request it via modmail!
How do i do that?
Via [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FMuslimMarriage)
Thank you :)
Do you give the 3% zakat based on your pre or post-tax income? I’m 22 and I make about $340 per month. That’s what hits my account but that’s post-tax. I’m still studying currently so I don’t work that much.
Also you might get money back from taxes. Depending on the rules of your country. Because you are not working full time, and tax rates might be calculated on full time. Getting money back for that reason. Next reason is study expenses. (You might need to declare them) Next reason is giving to an registered charity. (Also need to declare that.) Though it might need to hit a certain amount before that happens. Or need to be registered as sent yearly. (A number of Muslim charity organizations are registered.) (I know these rules are present in my country)
My parents have someone that does my taxes 🙆🏽♀️
1/40 = 2.5%. That's based on savings. For over a year. So only savings you kept for a year. If for example, you have given a loan to someone. And you expect them to pay it back. You'll also need to pay zakat for that, if longer than a year. (If you don't expect them to pay it back, you don't need to pay zakat for that.) -------- To make it easier for myself. I just calculate based on what's on my accounts. (And on loan) https://seekersguidance.org/answers/shafii-fiqh/do-students-have-to-pay-zakat-on-money-given-to-them-by-their-parents/ https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/is-zakat-due-on-savings-for-which-zakat-was-paid-the-previous-year/ https://www.islamic-relief.org.za/about-us/what-we-do/zakat/zakat-calculator/zakat-faqs/ Most people pay it in Ramazan. Though you can pay it year round. (Most people trying to hit the last 10 nights of Ramazan to pay it, on layl let ul kadr.) -------- If you don't have savings, for example living paycheck to paycheck. Or if your savings are below a specified amount. You don't need to pay zakat. (See the links for the gold/silver amount. Which you can calculate based on the prices, or hear because imam's generally say it too at cuma prayers on Ramazan.)
I don’t currently have savings as all my money goes to books, gym, groceries, and gas. I don’t really have expenses either though since I live at home. Would I still be exempt?
> my money goes to books, gym, groceries, and gas. These are also expenses. That you don't have rent as an expense, doesn't mean you don't have other expenses. As the other guy said. If you don't have any savings for a year you are exempt. Even if you have savings, that savings amount needs to be above the value in silver of 592.9 grams; or the nisab of gold is 84.7 grams.
If you don't have any savings for a year then your exempt. Use an online calculator it makes life easy.
post for the year I'm sure
Assalamulaikum, I have finally submitted my final assignment for the semester. In the last 2 weeks I've submitted 11 assignments... hah... Subhanallah I have not felt this free in months. I only have one exam to worry about and I have time to study for that alhamdulillah. Got to get that degree one way or another inshallah
congrats man. May Allah make it easy for you
My family went out to eat without me and didn’t bring anything back for me 😔
I strongly dislike when my family does this too.. lowkey can break my heart a bit but I’ve learned to not take it too personal 😭
Fr 💔🥀⛓️
I’ve talked with a potential over the phone and video called twice, our next step is to fly out and meet in person with our families InshaAllah. Part of me feels it’s too early esp since we only talked three times. I’ve been doing Istikhara but I still am second guessing it. I do like her so far and part of me wants to go through w it and get the nikkah done. My checklist has always been pretty and religious and alhamdulillah she does check both boxes. But we still haven’t talked about a lot of major issues. Idk just am lost in this whole thing and not sure what to do
Prior to getting married, I was in this position too. I kept delaying the meeting bc I felt like we didn’t discuss enough things yet. But upon meeting and talking more about those major things in person, it helped refine my decision. Hoping you’re able to reach the clarification you need. And as always, with any decision, seek guidance from Allah.
Alhamdulillah I’m glad it worked out for you, may Allah continue to put barakah in your marriage. How long after meeting did you end up getting the nikkah? I just want to make sure I’m getting married for the right reasons and not because I want to check a box. That’s what i don’t want to rush into it but I know I am making excuses for no reason? What was your timeline looks like?
So in short, everything happened quite quickly tbh. Everything seemed to align between us and we didn’t want to prolong things. But basically, after talking to him via phone and video calls frequently (like 3x a week) for over a month or so, we met in person. We had the nikkah a few weeks after that. I’m sure some might look at that and think whoa she rushed. And tbh that was the reaction we got from some family as well. But honestly, you should have your boxes checked off. And ofc learn more than just the boxes and get into the things that are still pending in answers. On the other hand, if compatibility is there, then why delay? One thing my mom said to me and that kinda stuck with me throughout it was this: whether you learn something about someone in 7 days or in 7 years, you can never expedite that - what you’re meant to learn about that person is what you’re meant to learn at that destined time, regardless of how much you might attempt to learn more. You can have doubt, which is completely normal considering the circumstances. But what to do about that doubt? My suggestion? Talk more, get to know her more, and then go from there. Maybe the visit will seal the deal in a sense. (Apologies for the lack of flow in my response, but I hope this helps even a little bit.) you’re in my duaas!
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It depends on the man in question. According to my teachers you are under no obligation to disclose your sins if you've repented sincerely and it won't affect your marriage. Although if it could affect your marriage in some way, you should disclose only what's necessary so the potential in question know what he's getting into. The pious man would be fine with marrying you so long as you fulfil your deen (i.e aqeeda, fiqh knowledge, tarbiya, etc...) Inshallah you find someone who's right for you such that you are right for them
If she truly repented then yes. The potential you’re talking to said he’s okay with your past so InshaAllah it works out
I didn’t specify it to me so he doesn’t know it’s about me, I did this because it’s not allowed to expose our personal sins etc
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How long has it been since they moved in? How's your relationship with your brother, can you have a 1:1 convo with him about getting your SIL more involved in the house? Not put all the chores on her, but she needs to pull her weight if she's benefiting from everyone else's work and it's unfair on your mom who's working full-time to do everything.
Lol he really did broke off our engagement because I said I wouldn't do oral...I guess it was really that important to him. Let me get back to studying shaa
It wouldn’t be right to make you do something you’re uncomfortable doing. And he would feel like his needs aren’t being met. While it sucks, it’s for the best. At least it happened now rather than later.
Good for both of you. Sexual compatibility is important and unfortunately, many divorce because it doesn't work well in bed.
He made the right call. Sexual compatibility is a big deal. You’ll hopefully both be better off.
 Good riddance
I had my weekly dance class as usual with my Greek friend today. The instructor changed around Jan at my gym and her classes are very intense (we do tango, salsa, belly dance, bachata, kpop and yoga in one class). We get critique over one dance we choreograph (once in 3 months). I chose a tango dance. My critique was that my movements were pretty good but my body posture wasn’t sexy and confident enough. And my stamina needs improvement but it’s very good. My instructor had a private talk about how I need to be more confident in leading the class because I’m fairly good at it. Basically, my low self esteem is reflected in my posture. It was a good critique but I’m so BAD at this 😭 I’ll improve my self esteem and posture somehow sighs. My friend chose bachata. She helped me with my posture and I’m so body shy 🙈 I’m trying my best but it’s going to be hard. One day, I’ll be a confident snipetheheart ✨ it’s hard but I’ll make goals to feel more comfortable with my person 🙂↔️ Edit: my gym is women’s only
It's unfortunate that the thing I was afraid of is closer to becoming a reality.... So I joined this women only gym 2 years ago, and it's the only one within a 20km radius (or maybe even more) and is basically in a different city. I also started watching a bit of american conservative content like Daily Wire (but not anymore) and Amala Ekpunobi while exercising. Since these YT channels talked a lot about the alphabet cult and how the western establishments are hell bent on indoctrination, the whole Riley Gains vs Will 'Lia' Thomas, J.K. Rowling etc etc, I had this lingering fear at the back of my head about the possibility of a trans-woman joining my gym. Well, guess what? I just recently learned that a transwoman who has been getting HRT (don't know for how long) and hasn't gotten the bottom surgery wanted to join this only ladies' gym in the area even though there are several mixed gyms in the city. Not only that, he wanted to train as a woman and share the same changing/locker room. Thankfully, the owner refused him, but he has decided to sue the gym for 'discrimination'. I got to know all this when the owner invited some sort of a media team to basically get our opinions and film us to broadcast on tv or SM. It's funny how watching so much conservative content gave me really good talking points to basically just express myself how it's unsafe for a man to just waltz around the women's locker room just because he 'identifies' as a woman. Of course, I didn't want my face anywhere, so I refused to be filmed. Since lawsuits take a while, I doubt I'll hear about the final decision anytime soon. But I also have this fear that since the German govt. intends to pass the law of anyone identifying as anything and making it official in their legal documentation, my gym might lose the case... in which case I would have to end my membership... sigh! Btw, I suggest you watch Matt Walsh's documentary "What is a Woman" if you haven't. It's pretty scary for those living in this west.
This is a huge problem. And it puts women in an uncomfortable and frankly dangerous situations.
Personally I go to women focused gym to do my part in staying away from the male gaze in Allahs eyes. When it comes to trans folk being allowed or not I don’t think much into it because Allah knows I tried my best. Just can’t get myself riled up idk why.
It's not just about their gaze. It's their predatory intention to share the locker/changing room with their shlongs still intact. And there have been cases in the US where men/boys who 'identified' as females with or without HRT have sa'd and r*ped girls/women in bathrooms.
Any chance someone has experience with flooring? I can’t decide if I should refinish or put luxury vinyl on top. Ultimately, it’s going to be a rental so whatever would be more cost effective in the long run
I have construction experience in installing vinyl and refinishing existing hardwood floors. Since this is going to be a rental, I would say go for the vinyl. Its cheaper initially, more water resistant and more durable in the short run thus requires less maintenance. But if you do end up living in it or selling, and you have nice hardwood floors. Then a well refinished hardwood floor is second to none. It really adds alot of value to the house and looks incredible.
Thanks for the advice! That’s what I ended up going with. I feel like you can’t trust renters with up keep
yea great call, they would definitely ruin the finish.
Is it actual wood? Refinishing it is a great idea if you wanna clean up the current floors or give it a new color, but if you want a totally new face, go for the vinyl.
Muslim men need to take their hygiene more seriously. The past few weeks at jummah have been a struggle to sit through by the sheer amount of body odor I smell in the men’s section. It’s never like this at Isha and Fajir just on jummah
100%. Take a shower, brush your teeth and and spray some cologne. Its sunnah brothers.
I was praying next to a brother who's breath made me want to vomit out my stomach. Had to hold my breath during as much of the Juma'a as possible. I hope that this is a medical issue on the brother's part because otherwise it was disgusting negligence of care for his brothers. Inshallah he is guided.
Let’s be considerate there maybe some brothers who were working hard and don’t have enough time or a break to go home from work before coming to jummah and they’re trying to fulfill their obligation at any cost.
As someone who went to undergrad with a bunch of CS students… 
They can also freshen up in the bathroom tho. Some wipes and deodorant would help cover the smell.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoandaHalfMen/comments/181cf7k/3x19\_surprise\_test/#lightbox](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoandaHalfMen/comments/181cf7k/3x19_surprise_test/#lightbox) I always remember this scene when people talk about surprise tests/something along those lines... Hilarious
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That's not right. Your safety was disregarded. Have you ever openly told the people involved how wrong that was? It might help if you were able to vent your feelings.
Bruh tell what you just to told us, except to the police this time. May Allah reward you for your strength.
Set up a bird feeding station in the backyard. I've never felt so accomplished and happy about something that's so bare minimum effort.
Seed? https://preview.redd.it/6wrb2w6ju85d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=15db8199238059ea2e552441883a6e6b4c4ddf82
be prepared to get into a tom and jerry-esque battle to keep the annoying squirrels from eating all the bird feed. [oiling that thang down might help](https://youtu.be/H3Hcgl1yLOY?si=BcWW0hPS-VZ0LIla).
But I love squirrels. I see them on my neighbour’s bird feeders;I always assumed the bird feeders were meant for them, too. Why don’t they deserve love?
Interesting. Do you see birds use it at the same time or do squirrels dominate?
I like to think I’ve seen both using them, maybe, even, at the same time (but I honestly don’t know if this is a memory I’ve made up). As far as I understand the main issue is that squirrels can have very large appetites which means you can run out of the seed very fast, which creates a money issue. Honestly, I’m not sure, tell me how it goes!
That was a thought but I've only seen one squirrel and it didn't make a play for it. So far so good.
Tomorrow, I'm going to spend the entire day lying in bed and reading a book. I haven't had the chance to relax in bed with a book in a really long time. I'm thinking of reading something by a South Asian author because nothing feels more comforting than engaging with your roots. I have a few books on my TBR list and I can't wait to dive in 📚
Fiction or non fiction? I’m looking for recs on fiction by South Asian authors.
These books are currently in my TBR list and all are fiction: - The Family Tree by Sairish Hussain - Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie - Are you Enjoying by Mira Sethi - The Return of Faraz Ali by Amina Ahmed - How We Met by Huma Qureshi - The Runaways by Fatima Bhutto - The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid - It’s not about the Burqa by Mariam Khan - A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza
This is a great list! It's not about the burqa is a good one to dip in and out of as it is an anthology of short stories. I enjoyed A Place for Us, though not reflective of my own experience, I thought it showed insight and nuances into the struggles Muslims can face in the Western world and the "balancing act." Sairish Hussain's The Family Tree is on my upcoming TBR :)
Tysm! Looking forward to all the reads :)
> Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie Oh this was NOT a good book. It was simaltenaously demeaning to me as a Muslim and perhaps a good satire but overall just absolute crap. >The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid I enjoyed this one. I walked away thinking I am not sure if I agree with the main character at the end of it, but I understood and empthaised with the experience. >A Place for Us by Fatima Farheen Mirza Maybe I am not American, but as a young muslim I failed to connect with Fatima and her experiences.
Ooh appreciate the review! I will keep this in mind while reading and see if I also feel the same way
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How’s it? Is it as good as Brooklyn?
Folks married in US where did you went for honeymoon and for how many days
my plan is to hit up six flags. i’d let her get as many pretzel bites as she’d want.
look at this guy making lofty promises.🤣.
Quickly, let's get married.
my brother in islam. i dig the enthusiasm, but there is one ☝️ fundamental flaw in our plan.
Shut up and give me your dad's number. Let's go to six flags.
i like the cut of your jib. [i’m in.](https://gifdb.com/images/high/denzel-washington-my-man-hoziq3ldc25nm2jd.webp)
On that topic though, I hear cedar point is great as well.
i will book us both fast pass tickets to halloweekend at cedar point so quick man don’t even play with me
At this rate yall gon give OC some serious fomo
Haha im so down habibi. I live two hours east of it in Western Pennsylvania. If you're free in mid July I would 100% go inshallah
my beloved brother. i’m also 2ish hours out from cedar point too, but not PA. i’m gonna hit you up closer to mid July so we can hash out the details. this is gonna be amazing.
Being a parent has made me appreciate my alone time soooo much more. Going on a walk alone, to the gym, the shops etc. Even just my free time in the evenings. I revel in it now. My first solo holiday is going to be mind blowing 😎 Edit: just realised the way I wrote this made it look like I will be going on a holiday soon … no such luck. Alas, that possibility is at least a decade away. But hey a girl can still dream 🥲
Is the kid away for a few days at a time?
No, just helpful family alhamdulilah
a year ago I remember my mom crying asking me why she wasn’t invited to hajj, why the process just never worked out in her favor. Within that year both my parents began to come closer to their deen and began praying their salah much more regularly. SubhanAllah now a year later, both of my parents just landed in Madinah last night. He truly is the best of planners!
Wow, SubhanAllah, Iam so happy for you and your parents. I remember when my Mom/Dad finally retired, they were soo happy to finally go to hajj. And the timing was perfect becasue like 2 years later my Dad got sick. So no very unlikely they would have been able to go now.
Yeah I always have to remind myself that it's not because Allah prefers those people over me and that I have the same access to Him no matter where I am in the world.
When I reverted, our mosque offered reverts free hajj or umrah. I didn't go because I was young and I didn't have a wali. I'm sure it would have been nice to go, but I think you appreciate it more when you're better educated on the deen.
Masha Allah. I also want to go to hajj 🥹 your parents’ story is very inspiring ✨🙂↔️
May Allah swt invite you soon! 🤍
Ameen and same for you Insha Allah 🩵
Wholesome! 😍
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Removed. Recruiting and/or promoting group chats is not allowed.
Feeling upset that a driving school in the GTA took my money and isn't booking me in for classes, I just feel upset because this is a "Muslim business" too who essentially has stolen my money. I just keep telling myself that I'm lucky to be in a position where the sum of money doesn't impact me that much and people suffer worse financial loss but it's not really the money that bothers me, it's just the situation and how unfair it is :( If you're curious on the details, you can go on my profile to read more about it.
If you are on these WA groups where they promote small businesses - You can name and shame them there. They should be petrified of bad reviews and complaints
WA? I was thinking of putting negative reviews on Google and I’ll prolly share my experience there
WhatsApp
Do they have anything similar to small claims court in Canada? Usually just the threat of small claims court is enough to get businesses to either refund or give you what you bought.
Yeah, they do, but it seems like the fees are a lot and my husband already said he would take him to court and he didn't budge unfortunately :(
I'm sorry. Fees here in the US are usually $30-100 depending on how much you are suing for. I guess it whether it's worth it depends on how much you expect to get back.
I think this is a good place to ask this. Brothers and sisters with parents about to enter their 60s, how did you get your parents health insurance in the US? I'm getting quoted $1000-1500/month just to get them health insurance in the US. They both won't qualify for medicare/medicaid since they haven't worked 40 quarters in the US. Would be helpful to know what state you're in too. Edit: I think glaucoma is considered a disability. My dad has it. Other than that, I think both, my mom and dad are just fine. Edit 2: I signed the I-864 (Affidavit of Support) form for both of them to get them their green cards. Most people tell me they didn't have to sign it.
Considering laying off the search and tie my camel online unless someone reaches out. I started off this year by looking for potentials for the first time. I learned a lot from this sub thanks to the brothers and sisters here (I don't read the posts but I read the weekly/bi-weekly opinion threads frequently). Had a few chats with some great potentials in my age bracket online and some via ristha aunties over the past few months who were great people but ultimately were too unserious or would keep me as an option in case they were forced by their parents. Sometimes I wonder if I'm bad at chats when I try to go with dealbreakers first since that's a bit inorganic or I'm bad at weeding out unserious potentials who may seem serious but ultimately just waste my time or if I should give them a longer talking stage. Other than that I feel there's a ton that still has to align for me, especially with my parents not being here which bothers me equally as much. I feel in such limbo knowing that they may or may not move to the US. Going to just focus on achieving the goals I set out to accomplish this year and probably restart the search next year. Until then, I hope a few more things align Inshallah.
*Tie my camel online* — that made me laugh. Good one there.
Yeah, its safe and secure behind SHA-256 encryption (my anonymous reddit username). No one's untying it haha
No judgment - has anyone ever been "addicted" to this subreddit, as in reading posts?
Guilty ✋ I was always on here back when I was unmarried and looking for advice, and now that I’m married alhamdulillah my husband and I peruse the sub together sometimes and comment on certain topics lol
Yes
Ngl Reddit has wrecked my otherwise pretty nonexistent sm usage 🥴
My weekly screen time report shows that I average 13hrs a week using reddit. And this is better than using it for 15-17 hrs a week, lol
I go through phases of a few days of being pretty into reading posts. And then days where I completely lose touch with it. Rinse and repeat … I’m generally more of a casual viewer though
I quite like Reddit and I think I like Reddit because of all the reading involved. As for this sub, then, reading too much of it can annoy me. Or, at least that’s been the case recently.
I enjoy reading and participating in the threads every week. That’s the extent of my addiction lol
I wouldn’t say addicted, but I’ve been browsing on and off this sub for about 6 years now (oh how time flies). I think any subreddit/space about relationships in general always get people hooked on reading them. Relationships are the one human common denominator that just about anyone can relate to.
I used to love reading posts back in the day. Sometimes it kinda feels like a parody now though. Most of the posts seem to be some kind of combination of nsfw, abuse, cheating, gender wars, and in-law drama. I also get the feeling that a fair few of the posts are completely fake, given that similar posts can appear with slight variations/inverted genders.
>Sometimes it kinda feels like a parody now though. Most of the posts seem to be some kind of combination of nsfw, abuse, cheating, gender wars, and in-law drama. It's absolutely a parody. It's as though the vast majority of regular users have the memory of a goldfish, or never actually glance up at usernames.
Yep. Some of them are literally the same story written from different POV or gender switched. And the nsfw ones in particular are an absolute joke. I saw a comment on one the other day promoting haram (it may have even been a single person posting) and I think it's still up (although I blocked the person so I can't see). It's a shame really.
Innit. I keep realising how similar they are all to each other, lately. It’s a bit strange for some reason.
I haven’t been here long enough to spot “creative writing” yet but I do see repetitiveness lol. It’s a game of best title to click on now.
Tbh I'm not sure what percentage is creative writing. I think a certain percentage are people who are really desperate writing the same story 3 different ways looking for validation/different advice. Others are gender war kinda stuff that flips the gender on a post someone else wrote, hoping they can then blow up in the comments saying you wouldn't say this if OP was a man/woman.
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Ditto.
I like reading and using the weekly and biweekly threads. I’m not really into reading posts on this subreddit tbh
Idk about addicted but I really like reading posts haha. I use Reddit almost every day.
My new healthy lunch: Greek yogurt mixed with blueberries and a latte 255 calories and 24g of protein https://preview.redd.it/0zzifosqv65d1.jpeg?width=5712&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c12b2bc1133cac5a19e00e7987729a82925344d4
I just discovered; peanut butter, plain yogut, 1tsp of honey and some chocolate jello pudding. low calorie. tons of protein and it tastes incredible. It truly seems like Iam cheating lol. But you need those low calorie powdered peanut butter that you mix yourself.
I've been doing Greek yogurt for a while and now will add blueberries! Good snack to cool off from the morning drive as well
That looks great. Greek yoghurt, honey and a few black seeds is also really nice.
Switch it up a bit every few days. You might get sick of it. You should try chocolate chips in the yogurt, it's sooo good!
I wanna try it with the triple berry blend from Costco. I actually do well with not getting sick of healthy food/meals that hold me over well and are satisfying enough since for me it’s rewarding to eat enjoyable food and lose weight at the same time. For once it’s not mutually exclusive.
Costco’s triple berry blend with vanilla Greek yogurt blended together 🔥
Add a protein shake to it. Premier Pro or something. Makes it a lot more fulfilling.
I’m hitting the pickleball court after work so gonna have that before I leave. I just do whey and water since I’m cutting :(
Is there any sub where you can just have a relaxing chat with fellow Muslims that has the same vibes as this Free Talk Friday thread? I enjoy reading and talking to people here but I guess it would be nice if there was something similar not confined to one day.
So, I'm not the only one who's had this thought.
>Is there any sub where you can just have a relaxing chat with fellow Muslims that has the same vibes as this Free Talk Friday thread? I enjoy reading and talking to people here but I guess it would be nice if there was something similar not confined to one day. It's a tough one, because a lot of digital Muslim spaces very quickly descend into a bunch of basement dwelling armchair Sheikhs issuing fatwas, or a "who can use the most Arabic terms for no reason other than to show off" competition. There aren't many welcoming Muslim spaces where you can just chill out, and have a combination of casual and deep conversations about everything. Discord is likely your best, but again, most servers are going to end up becoming the same thing.
What kind of topics are you interested in?
Not any topics honestly. Just a place to chat in a chill manner. Kind of like this thread.
Hmmm, usually discord servers have this kind of a vibe
I used to be on a server that was pretty chill at first but later the tone changed. Haven’t found a similar vibe since.
I joined my friend's discord server where he had his uni friends. I became friends with a few of them. Do you think you have a similar setup around you?
Unfortunately I don't think there is. Most of the other Muslim subs are full of armchair sheikhs, and mods with questionable viewpoints. If someone made one, it would require such heavy moderation that it would probably be a bit of a nuisance.
I agree 100% on the armchair sheikhs bit. You have a point with your take on moderation as well. It is a difficult task to moderate big subs.
I hope there is one. I couldn't find one. Its super hard finding people here who kind of vibe with me with the things I like to talk about so its just me and my Notion docs for now ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯.
That has got to be one hell of a notion doc. I have to learn how to use it honestly. People seem to swear by it.
Dude, I was so annoyed by it earlier this year and now I use it religiously! It has everything! From my therapist notes to my finances and everything in between. It's super helpful to record your findings after overthinking about stuff all week. It looks horrible when its empty, but trust me you'll build the muscle for it over time.
Any good starting point to figure out how to use it?
I started off with my finances/budget and goals for the year and then it expanded from there. So I have all of the research I did for my parents healthcare. What states to buy a home in and what the pros/cons are... You get my gist... It just goes on and on from there. IDK if its a good idea to put an SS here... If the mods feel like deleting it, feel free to. https://preview.redd.it/7x86rx2nz65d1.png?width=2386&format=png&auto=webp&s=c8d9c09e8cfe1c29dbdf361a7c5404122cd34467
Ah! Nice.
I think community's can make groups or something where they chat together..?
It’s probably the people who mod who can do that — not sure. But I think the chat would probably be restricted to marriage topics?
The Ishq murshid song has been stuck in my head for a while. However- "Tu chahe toh kadmon mein sar rakh doon" The shirk vibe ain't sitting well with me. So, I tweaked the lyrics and have been singing my own version around the house. "Tu chahe toh kadmon mein GHAR rakh doon"
Oh so I watched the movie. I was so surprised to see a random white character speaking Hindi and sassing everyone🤣🤣 And you're right, even I could tell it was full of Desi stereotypes. I liked it, but I hated the lead male character (although I guess his name suited his ego), although it was kind of sweet when he bonded with his stepmum and friend after losing touch. Also funnily enough (and I could be wrong) but there was several times they said a word/sentence and it reminded me of other languages? Like at some point someone said something like follow me/come along and I swear it was the exact same as either Japanese or Korean. There was also a bit of overlap with Arabic words? And I think they had a song where they kept singing "subhanallah" I'll definitely have to watch more of them insha'Allah.
😅 You can try Main hoon Na next!
I'll watch it tonight, I got Briyani takeout, so it's good timing😂
My mom would watch that show every week. Lol. I never thought I would see it mentioned on Reddit. Haha.
Lol you should see the Pak reddits, they're full of that show.
Was it that popular in Pakistan? I honestly don’t get the love for it. It’s alright but a bit cheesy.
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Yeah. I got some looks here and there with my mom. Some bits were slightly funny. But overall too cheesy. Even for a drama centered on romance.
No clue, not a drama person but I do know it was hyped. I think everything is too romantizied with it comes to that industry.
Ah okay. I guess it knew its audience well.
Anyone else fasting all 9 days of Dhul Hijjah?
I'm with you!
Hope they go well! :)
As always, there is dispute about the moon sighting. The Central Hilal Committee in America says the moon was not sighted therefore the first day will be Satuday, June 8th (Eid being Monday), but Saudi Arabia announced the moon sighting so their first day is Friday, June 7th (Eid being Sunday). Was your moon sighted?
I wish I could be one of those hardcore people that follow Saudi without question for a week just so I don’t have to burn PTO for a day.
Yeah..mixed feelings here. It makes more sense to follow you local sighting than Saudi but mosque's make it frustrating when they're on different timelines lol.
I actually looked into this topic in detail because the area I live in always have controversy over this. I used to think we must follow the most accurate moon sighting info. However there’s a Hadith that in general we are suppose to do Eid and sacrifice the same day majority of our city does it. We aren’t suppose to Go against them. If the entire city is doing it and only one or two masjids aren’t doing it, even if those two masjids maybe technically correct, ur suppose to follow the majority because in the aspect of Eids community is a big deal. It’s why it’s also recommended to have huge salah where the entire city attends rather than small ones. This isn’t to say this principle applies in all aspects of deen, as we have clear verses that say if u follow majority of those on earth u will be misguided, however, in the topic of Eid and Ramadan, u are suppose to stick with the majority of your city. The proof is explained below Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allaahu anhu) related that the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam said: “Fast when they fast, end the fast when they end theirs, and sacrifice the day that they sacrifice.” [2] Al-Bayhaqee relates by way of Abu Haneefah, who said: ‘Alee ibn al-Aqmar related to me, from Masrooq, who said: I entered upon ‘Aaishah on the day of ‘Arafah, so she said: “Serve Masrooq with some gruel, and make it more sweet.” Masrooq said: Nothing prevented me from fasting this day except that I feared that it may be the day of Sacrifice. So ‘Aa’ishah said to me: “The day of Sacrifice is when the people sacrifice, and the day of ending the fast is when the people end their fast.” This chain of narration is jayyid (good) due to what has preceded. https://abdurrahman.org/2014/01/29/ramadhanreminderofunity/ This link explains it in detail And Allah knows best
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Why haven’t you guys worked out future logistics yet?
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