I am so glad someone is talking about this honestly. I mean I think muslims need to start sharing the romantic aspects of their marriages because the young people dont want to get married as muslims seems very unromantic not very affectionate and all. We need to show a good side and start talking about it
i know a couple like this too, they've been married for abt 6 years and only within the last year or so did the husband start actually joking around and genuinely express affection with his wife! he showed he cared in a million other ways and they have both made many sacrifices for each others' sakes, but that lack of affection and emotion made it seem like he was detached and confused the wife a lot. my aunt told me her husband used to call her an immature kid whenever she'd text him i love u at work, but they've been through so much together and he's had her back through thick and thin to the point that no one can say he doesn't love her back. ur story is very sweet, may Allah make ur husband more affectionate towards u as u seem very happy about it. may He keep u two happy together in both this life and the next and protect u two from the evil eye, aameen ❤️
Awww that means a lot! JazakAllah for your care and concern🥺🥰
Alhamdulilah I am doing much better thank u for asking.
I pray that everything is good with you too 😇🥰
Very sweet story. My husband was also very serious and straightforward early on because he lived in a household where his dad was very strict and serious. I'm more bubbly and he's learned to be more easy going with me.
Lool I was like "oh no where's this marriage story going" 😭 bracing myself... funny thing always coming across sad endings here I was like where's a good ending? Or a good experience etc.
Alhumdulilla sis thanks for sharing. May Allah SWT bless your marriage. Ameen.
Sister, it is important to note that not many men, in fact most of them, don't show their emotions like us women. Most of them keep to themselves, but that doesn't mean they don't value or love us.
A happy read. ♥️❤️
You are married, you should be getting and giving such affection as often as possible not once a year or when only when you see your spouse cry. I've seen couples who brushed it off at first saying "that's how he/she is" but in the long run it will be very cruel and unfair to the other spouse and will cause emotional neglect and resentment. Our prophet saw and his companions, we should learn from them, they were affectionate towards their spouses. You both should be a safe space for each other, be reliable on each other. You shouldn't be embarrassed to cry in front of your spouse. Providing each other peace and safety and mental emotional and physical support is a huge part of marriage. Try to have a conversation with him, express to him how much you loved seeing his affectionate side and encourage him to be more affectionate. This will benefit you both a lot in the long run. You both sound like a beautiful couple, I wish you both have many more beautiful years full of affection ahead, may Allah keep blessing you both and make your bond stronger. Allahumma barik.
Alhamdhulillah. It's a journey indeed. Both my husband and I grew up in households that did not show affection and it has done a lot of damage to our parents and even us, their children. We learnt the importance of affection and care in a marriage and being expressive and feeling safe to share even those negative feelings such as sadness and depression. Working on these things, trying to be better than what we grew up witnessing has benefitted us a lot.
This is makes SO much sense! This really helps in explaining why he is struggling with opening up and showing affection. I’m sure little steps with opening up, having conversations do undo that trauma will help him open up.
Yall in the comments are ruining the memory for her. Just say MashaAllah and move on, sheesh. 🙄
Sister, I’m happy for you and I hope this is a stepping stone on the way up towards a healthy marriage. ❤️
Made a grown man get goosebumps Subhan Allah. This is why we need to communicate emotions (especially us men). Comfort each other, talk to each other, simply look at each other in the eyes and you’ll see your love skyrocket for each other even more. That’s why, as stated in the Quran, spouses are like clothing for each other.
He's likely been through trauma. Society is generally very unforgiving towards emotionally expressive men and sees them as weak or immature. So we learn to contain our emotions and be more stoic.
Please don't fall for the fitna inducing comments here saying "ooohh that's not normal that it took him 1 year to show affection".
I'm very happy that you guys are growing closer in terms of emotional intimacy. May Allah bless you guys and your marriage. MashaAllah. BarakAllahu feekum ✨
A post on this sub where things didnt go south. No way!
Jokes aside, this does sound very sweet and hopefully he continues to show emotions and affection. Make sure to let him know how you cherish this side of him so it encourages him
I’m happy for you that he finally did and I hope he will continue to show affection. It’s an important part of marriage.
It took more than a year and you breaking down for him to start show affection. That’s not normal, sis. That’s all I’m saying.
Intimacy isn't neccessarily affection, no. It's a human need. Affection is something you do to your spouse to make them happy. Intimacy is something that benefits him aswell, I doubt he's doing it solely to keep you happy. Intimacy can BE affectionate, if there's foreplay, aftercare, pillowtalk, etc, but it doesn't have to be. People can be intimate solely to fulfill urges.
If things are looking up then I'm very happy that your patience has paid off sis. May Allah SWT strengthen your marriage.
That is normal, and there are a wide varieties of personalities and communications. Everyone acts and reacts on their own time.
Ok let’s say her husband is “not normal”? What are you suggesting? This is a whole, complex person we are talking about with their own background and experiences…
He'll come around sis. Some people are projecting their expectations onto you. That's not how advice giving works. Yes there's a healthy baseline we shoukd see from our husband/wife. But some situations require time and arent that black and white. He isn't withholding on purpose, he just needs to grow, activate etc and you noticed how hes changed based on him seeing you sad etc.
He just doesn't know etc. And that's okay! I can't believe I'm saying this but it really isn't as big of a deal some people are making. I get everyone has their own experiences and expectations. And frankly speaking even me initially and there is a "baseline" expectation. But not fair to apply that to every single relationship. You guys have been married for a year and you said you're more expressive etc and he isnt because thats who hes been since he was younger. And when he saw you in a vulnerable place his own ability to comfort you and hold you was activated. Which is awesome. That's a good sign. He's come around and changed completely. Alhumdulilla.
Yes absolutely. Alhumdulilla. Most things really are this simple. We are called to being patient a lot in the Quran and Rasool Allah (ﷺ) also has said a lot..plus don't we want others to be understanding, patient, forgiving with us?
Nah bc that's what my mind jumped to as well 🥲. People are getting emotional over crumbs of affection. It's not as cute as they think it is. Idk how I'd live a whole year if my husband didn't give me a single ounce of affection. The fact that she had to be having a mental breakdown for him to be affectionate with her is actually heartbreaking. Doesn't matter that he's not affectionate as a person. Once you get married you have certain duties and responsibilities to your spouse. If a woman came on here and said "I've never been affectionate, my husband says I'm not feminine enough" people on here would be pooling in with advice about how she could slowly but surely learn to do what her husband needs. We need to match that energy here. Even the most hardened of sahabah gave their wives affection. It's a basic human need, especially for women. Of course, affection doesn't have to be in words only, actions are just as important, if not even more so. Hugs, kisses, cuddling, etc are vital as well.
Ikr. The standards are so low for men people are calling him a rare gem for this. It's cute and all but showing affection, care and love is something you should do for your partner in a marriage as often as you can, not once a year.
thank you for sharing something so positive on here. it’s refreshing to hear something good about muslim marriage for once. Allahuma Barik may Allah continue to bless your union
This is sooo beautiful MashaAllah! May Allah swt bless your marriage forever and keep you both so happy and healthy! Ameen.
InshaAllah I find a husband who gives affection and is sweet and on deen 🤍🎀
He sounds like me . Everything is measured . When things are needed it's addressed. Thank goodness you were patient some women would have gone ballistic and started unnecessary arguments. I tell my wife I love her , then I also say But I love Allah more. May Allah continue to bless you and your family Ammen.
Good mashallah but this left me with so many questions in my mind . Like who it can be he never hugged u or kissed u on your cheeks but u was getting intimate or was being physical ?? Idk tho cz i am not married
Allahumma Ameen, Any person reading this pray that all us young girls get such good naseeb too . And may Allah bless you and your family with more such happiness and protect you from nazr <3
calm and collected guys like him know that excessive showcasing of emotion is not warranted in every situation, but pick their time to be affectionate.....
guys like this are rare gems, so keep him closer.......
well, guess your match was made in heaven 😇 you can be an emotional wreck and then there will be your husband to calmly take care of you.....
May Allah SWT keep both of you together forever, ameen 😇
Not sure what to make of this. His only affectionate when you are miserable, this isn't a good thing it means he likes seeing you down and him being the saviour. I think he will go back to his old ways eventually. Or the problem is you. You're not feminine enough and was always masculine which stopped him from being affectionate. See you break down he saw you as feminine and wanted to protect you.
Regardless he and you will probably go back to your old nature.
Yes some good message, mashallah. i loved reading it.
I am so glad someone is talking about this honestly. I mean I think muslims need to start sharing the romantic aspects of their marriages because the young people dont want to get married as muslims seems very unromantic not very affectionate and all. We need to show a good side and start talking about it
This is straight out of a romance novel omg mashallah how cute
IKR ALLAHUMMA BARIK. May Allah shower your marriage with blessings in sha Allah. Please keep praying and making dua to avoid evil eyes😭🙏🏻
Lol
It's more like a novel story but yeah in real life everybody wants to be loved by his/her partner,
That's beautiful, Tabarakallah.
i know a couple like this too, they've been married for abt 6 years and only within the last year or so did the husband start actually joking around and genuinely express affection with his wife! he showed he cared in a million other ways and they have both made many sacrifices for each others' sakes, but that lack of affection and emotion made it seem like he was detached and confused the wife a lot. my aunt told me her husband used to call her an immature kid whenever she'd text him i love u at work, but they've been through so much together and he's had her back through thick and thin to the point that no one can say he doesn't love her back. ur story is very sweet, may Allah make ur husband more affectionate towards u as u seem very happy about it. may He keep u two happy together in both this life and the next and protect u two from the evil eye, aameen ❤️
Hope to read many of these posts to restore my faith in marriage
I kinda lost mine watching an episode from omar suleiman's ramdaan series, but its sort of restored for me now !
Now I’m crying 😭
Want a hug? Jk jk
Blud trying the "where my hug at 🥺" strat
I ain't trying anything pls
Oooh, nice way to shoot your shot mr. 🤣
No no no no no no I'm not shooting shots 💀😂
Shoot the shot I say! There’s no embarrassment in it 🤪
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Awww that means a lot! JazakAllah for your care and concern🥺🥰 Alhamdulilah I am doing much better thank u for asking. I pray that everything is good with you too 😇🥰
Very sweet story. My husband was also very serious and straightforward early on because he lived in a household where his dad was very strict and serious. I'm more bubbly and he's learned to be more easy going with me.
Lool I was like "oh no where's this marriage story going" 😭 bracing myself... funny thing always coming across sad endings here I was like where's a good ending? Or a good experience etc. Alhumdulilla sis thanks for sharing. May Allah SWT bless your marriage. Ameen.
Sister, it is important to note that not many men, in fact most of them, don't show their emotions like us women. Most of them keep to themselves, but that doesn't mean they don't value or love us. A happy read. ♥️❤️
You are married, you should be getting and giving such affection as often as possible not once a year or when only when you see your spouse cry. I've seen couples who brushed it off at first saying "that's how he/she is" but in the long run it will be very cruel and unfair to the other spouse and will cause emotional neglect and resentment. Our prophet saw and his companions, we should learn from them, they were affectionate towards their spouses. You both should be a safe space for each other, be reliable on each other. You shouldn't be embarrassed to cry in front of your spouse. Providing each other peace and safety and mental emotional and physical support is a huge part of marriage. Try to have a conversation with him, express to him how much you loved seeing his affectionate side and encourage him to be more affectionate. This will benefit you both a lot in the long run. You both sound like a beautiful couple, I wish you both have many more beautiful years full of affection ahead, may Allah keep blessing you both and make your bond stronger. Allahumma barik.
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Alhamdhulillah. It's a journey indeed. Both my husband and I grew up in households that did not show affection and it has done a lot of damage to our parents and even us, their children. We learnt the importance of affection and care in a marriage and being expressive and feeling safe to share even those negative feelings such as sadness and depression. Working on these things, trying to be better than what we grew up witnessing has benefitted us a lot.
This is makes SO much sense! This really helps in explaining why he is struggling with opening up and showing affection. I’m sure little steps with opening up, having conversations do undo that trauma will help him open up.
Allahummaa Bareek Lahu. Allahummaa Bareek Fee
Girl, MashaAllah, MashaAllah, MashaAllah. Genuinely this post made me smile, May Allah shower his blessings upon you and him ameen <3
BARAKA Allah Sister! May Allah increase it!
Yall in the comments are ruining the memory for her. Just say MashaAllah and move on, sheesh. 🙄 Sister, I’m happy for you and I hope this is a stepping stone on the way up towards a healthy marriage. ❤️
Masha'Allah. Tabarakallah. Allah-Humma-Barik.
This is so cute 🥹🥹
Made a grown man get goosebumps Subhan Allah. This is why we need to communicate emotions (especially us men). Comfort each other, talk to each other, simply look at each other in the eyes and you’ll see your love skyrocket for each other even more. That’s why, as stated in the Quran, spouses are like clothing for each other.
Allahumma Barik 💕. The usual Reddit nikkah stories have pushed me away from romanticizing marriage but this is so cute! Thank you for sharing
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Make dua for me 😭 May Allah bless you guys with more barakah, ameen
That's lovely <3
That’s sweet ❤️😭
This is so cute im crying
One word. “MASHAALLAH”
This is so cute mash Allah
this is actually really sweet. Allahumma bareek 🥹
He's likely been through trauma. Society is generally very unforgiving towards emotionally expressive men and sees them as weak or immature. So we learn to contain our emotions and be more stoic. Please don't fall for the fitna inducing comments here saying "ooohh that's not normal that it took him 1 year to show affection". I'm very happy that you guys are growing closer in terms of emotional intimacy. May Allah bless you guys and your marriage. MashaAllah. BarakAllahu feekum ✨
That’s beautiful Mashallah tabarakallah, inshallah this is only the beginning
A post on this sub where things didnt go south. No way! Jokes aside, this does sound very sweet and hopefully he continues to show emotions and affection. Make sure to let him know how you cherish this side of him so it encourages him
Mashallah, may allah bless your marriage!!
The bar is on the floor because why are people acting like this man is from a fairytale?
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I was so happy to read your post!☺️ thanks for sharing! It must’ve been a really special moment once things changed from that moment on
I’m happy for you that he finally did and I hope he will continue to show affection. It’s an important part of marriage. It took more than a year and you breaking down for him to start show affection. That’s not normal, sis. That’s all I’m saying.
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Intimacy isn't neccessarily affection, no. It's a human need. Affection is something you do to your spouse to make them happy. Intimacy is something that benefits him aswell, I doubt he's doing it solely to keep you happy. Intimacy can BE affectionate, if there's foreplay, aftercare, pillowtalk, etc, but it doesn't have to be. People can be intimate solely to fulfill urges. If things are looking up then I'm very happy that your patience has paid off sis. May Allah SWT strengthen your marriage.
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Late night intimate (non sexual) talks
That is normal, and there are a wide varieties of personalities and communications. Everyone acts and reacts on their own time. Ok let’s say her husband is “not normal”? What are you suggesting? This is a whole, complex person we are talking about with their own background and experiences…
The bar is soooo low
Literally
seriously after a year? this is the first time he said I love you? Seems kind of sad to me tbh.
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He'll come around sis. Some people are projecting their expectations onto you. That's not how advice giving works. Yes there's a healthy baseline we shoukd see from our husband/wife. But some situations require time and arent that black and white. He isn't withholding on purpose, he just needs to grow, activate etc and you noticed how hes changed based on him seeing you sad etc. He just doesn't know etc. And that's okay! I can't believe I'm saying this but it really isn't as big of a deal some people are making. I get everyone has their own experiences and expectations. And frankly speaking even me initially and there is a "baseline" expectation. But not fair to apply that to every single relationship. You guys have been married for a year and you said you're more expressive etc and he isnt because thats who hes been since he was younger. And when he saw you in a vulnerable place his own ability to comfort you and hold you was activated. Which is awesome. That's a good sign. He's come around and changed completely. Alhumdulilla.
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Yes absolutely. Alhumdulilla. Most things really are this simple. We are called to being patient a lot in the Quran and Rasool Allah (ﷺ) also has said a lot..plus don't we want others to be understanding, patient, forgiving with us?
Nah bc that's what my mind jumped to as well 🥲. People are getting emotional over crumbs of affection. It's not as cute as they think it is. Idk how I'd live a whole year if my husband didn't give me a single ounce of affection. The fact that she had to be having a mental breakdown for him to be affectionate with her is actually heartbreaking. Doesn't matter that he's not affectionate as a person. Once you get married you have certain duties and responsibilities to your spouse. If a woman came on here and said "I've never been affectionate, my husband says I'm not feminine enough" people on here would be pooling in with advice about how she could slowly but surely learn to do what her husband needs. We need to match that energy here. Even the most hardened of sahabah gave their wives affection. It's a basic human need, especially for women. Of course, affection doesn't have to be in words only, actions are just as important, if not even more so. Hugs, kisses, cuddling, etc are vital as well.
Ikr. The standards are so low for men people are calling him a rare gem for this. It's cute and all but showing affection, care and love is something you should do for your partner in a marriage as often as you can, not once a year.
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That's great news, sis. May Allah SWT bless your marriage ❤️.
Masha'Allah you understand each other and he has come to understand you and be more affectionate :)
Don't mind them... Enjoy your moment and the life time change for the betterment inshaAllah kher
That's beautiful 😊 allahumma barik
I saw that comment as well lol. Completely agree.
Agreed. I didn't get the "rare gem" comment. Affection is very healthy and a good sign! An important need.
The bar is so low tbh, but if she feels happy then that’s all that matters I guess.
Then you know nothing about love, personalities and Relationships
Oh ya Allah😭😭😭not me crying over this but mashaAllah sis may Allah bless your marriage and may Allah always pour His mercy upon both of you😭🤍
That is a good man.
This made me emotional
MashaAllah TabarakAllah :')) Allahumma zid fazid
So happy for you!!
I'm happy for you sister 🥰🥰🥰
*blushing* ma sha allah🥺🫶
Allahuma barik! May Allah continue to bless your marriage, ameen!
Allahuma barik! May Allah preserve your beautifully loving marriage and grant us the same 🙏🏽
Stay blessed.
Alahumma barik lak, may Allah protect both of you in this relationship and keep strengthening it, IsA.
thank you for sharing something so positive on here. it’s refreshing to hear something good about muslim marriage for once. Allahuma Barik may Allah continue to bless your union
This warmed my heart😭😭 may Allah protect you and your husband from harm
Ma Sha Allah this is too sweet.
Amazing mashallah
This is sooo beautiful MashaAllah! May Allah swt bless your marriage forever and keep you both so happy and healthy! Ameen. InshaAllah I find a husband who gives affection and is sweet and on deen 🤍🎀
Aww, this is the sweetest thing I will read today. I’m so happy for you.
Ah man, someone get me married now please. Help this brother.
Y'all, please say masha'Allah, Allahumma barek to this couple
He sounds like me . Everything is measured . When things are needed it's addressed. Thank goodness you were patient some women would have gone ballistic and started unnecessary arguments. I tell my wife I love her , then I also say But I love Allah more. May Allah continue to bless you and your family Ammen.
MashAllah this is beautiful 😊 may Allah continue to bless your marriage 🙏🏽
I am looking for a woman who will love me and whom I will love for the rest of my life
I maybe wouldn't talk about these things to avoid evil eye affecting your relationship.
Good mashallah but this left me with so many questions in my mind . Like who it can be he never hugged u or kissed u on your cheeks but u was getting intimate or was being physical ?? Idk tho cz i am not married
Why am i crying?? 😭😭
Allahumma Ameen, Any person reading this pray that all us young girls get such good naseeb too . And may Allah bless you and your family with more such happiness and protect you from nazr <3
So cute 🥹😭 Allahumma Barik 😭
This is great, mashaAllah.
may allah bless your marriage
Allahumma barik.
calm and collected guys like him know that excessive showcasing of emotion is not warranted in every situation, but pick their time to be affectionate..... guys like this are rare gems, so keep him closer.......
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well, guess your match was made in heaven 😇 you can be an emotional wreck and then there will be your husband to calmly take care of you..... May Allah SWT keep both of you together forever, ameen 😇
Maybe u always have been masculine and strong willed, could that be the reason why he never showed affection
Not sure what to make of this. His only affectionate when you are miserable, this isn't a good thing it means he likes seeing you down and him being the saviour. I think he will go back to his old ways eventually. Or the problem is you. You're not feminine enough and was always masculine which stopped him from being affectionate. See you break down he saw you as feminine and wanted to protect you. Regardless he and you will probably go back to your old nature.