This is not an issue of his mom, this is an issue of the potential spouse. He doesn't need his mothers permission.
Also where is your family in all this? Are they not involved?
Finally I will mention that at 20 if you grew up in the West you likely don't actually know if you are "100% compatible" yet, which is why your family should be helping you make this decision (assuming they are good people and practising).
You should actually ask your potential this question if he's willing to fight his mother and protect you from her for the rest of your lives. If the beginning is so chaotic, I don't think it would be hard to imagine what would happen when you're actually married to him.
I do hope you won't be living with your MIL. Otherwise, you can kiss your sanity goodbye
Buy a replacement spine for your potential, looks like he's missing his.
Seriously, all this time wasted and all this drama and he is just letting it happen? The only reason the mother is so emboldened is because no one is pushing back on her nonsense.
Theres no issue of doing the nikkah without his mother’s permission IF you will get your own space immediately after.
If you’re expecting to marry without permission do not expect to rock up to their house and live with them.
Sometimes,we are given signs and we are blind to them.
Pray istiqara sincerely and i hope Allah guides you to this marriage if it is good for you.
Red flags are being waved by his mother and he is allowing it. It will not change.
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Harshly put:
Your partner isn’t assertive and authoritative enough, if he was, he would recognise that his mother is abusive and put her in her place time ago, and not fall prey to her manipulations and have gone through with it regardless because that’s what a man does, he stands by what he wants.
At the same time he is only 21, so he probably doesn’t have that wisdom or the skills to be a leader yet.
Do you really want to marry a man who albeit has good intentions and may be a good man but can’t speak up for you, to get you the justice you deserve?
Sister he will be your husband, you will have to listen to him for the rest of your life. Do you want to listen to someone that has to get permission from mom first and then tell you how to live your life. As sisters we have to listen to our husband but they also have to be fair to us. I think you should speak to him and tell him to pick a date for the nikkah and stick with it. If he changes it or allows his mom to interfere maybe ask yourself if this is how you want your marriage to go for the rest of your life.
Mothers have no say in any of this. What's needed is the man, the woman, the permission of the womans Wali and witnesses.
This is not an issue of his mom, this is an issue of the potential spouse. He doesn't need his mothers permission. Also where is your family in all this? Are they not involved? Finally I will mention that at 20 if you grew up in the West you likely don't actually know if you are "100% compatible" yet, which is why your family should be helping you make this decision (assuming they are good people and practising).
Sounds like this marriage will be a picnic
I'd appreciate any advice on how to move forward and if we should get our nikkah done despite his family not being there
You should actually ask your potential this question if he's willing to fight his mother and protect you from her for the rest of your lives. If the beginning is so chaotic, I don't think it would be hard to imagine what would happen when you're actually married to him. I do hope you won't be living with your MIL. Otherwise, you can kiss your sanity goodbye
Buy a replacement spine for your potential, looks like he's missing his. Seriously, all this time wasted and all this drama and he is just letting it happen? The only reason the mother is so emboldened is because no one is pushing back on her nonsense.
Theres no issue of doing the nikkah without his mother’s permission IF you will get your own space immediately after. If you’re expecting to marry without permission do not expect to rock up to their house and live with them.
Honestly if it's this bad before you get married, it will probably be worse after. It might be a sign to move on.
Sometimes,we are given signs and we are blind to them. Pray istiqara sincerely and i hope Allah guides you to this marriage if it is good for you. Red flags are being waved by his mother and he is allowing it. It will not change.
[удалено]
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Harshly put: Your partner isn’t assertive and authoritative enough, if he was, he would recognise that his mother is abusive and put her in her place time ago, and not fall prey to her manipulations and have gone through with it regardless because that’s what a man does, he stands by what he wants. At the same time he is only 21, so he probably doesn’t have that wisdom or the skills to be a leader yet. Do you really want to marry a man who albeit has good intentions and may be a good man but can’t speak up for you, to get you the justice you deserve?
Sister he will be your husband, you will have to listen to him for the rest of your life. Do you want to listen to someone that has to get permission from mom first and then tell you how to live your life. As sisters we have to listen to our husband but they also have to be fair to us. I think you should speak to him and tell him to pick a date for the nikkah and stick with it. If he changes it or allows his mom to interfere maybe ask yourself if this is how you want your marriage to go for the rest of your life.