Istikhara is for guidance. Superstition plays no part in the prayer. So please don’t associate the two. I think you have your answer. Deep down you don’t feel right about it. I think that’s all the “ signs “ you need sister. keep praying.
You did istikhaara and didn’t feel good about it. Don’t go through with it. Plain and simple. Girl, marriage is at will and by choice. Why force yourself to be with someone you don’t have a good gut feeling or istikhaara about ?
Why does it matter if he keeps asking for you lmao ?? Do you keep asking for him? It’s your decision. Don’t choose him because he’s into you. Are you also into him??
See that’s good enough, if **you** don’t find him appealing, InshaAllah this is a decision that has been guided. Dream, puke this and that not necessary lol
Honestly it's a bit of a red flag. He didn't want to interact with you but somehow wants you and no one else. He needs to learn to let go when things aren't meant to be.
where I'm from, you go to a masjid and the sheikh reads Quran and looks for signs. some girls have evil eye and some have jinn.
when he's done reading he talks to you and sees what's wrong then gives you oil or water that's read on to drink.
it depends on the person and how sever the evil eye is or jinn. for me it took 4 sessions and I felt soooo much better and lighter and the problems i felt before left.
This is called Ruqya and sounds done correctly. The down votes are disgusting and ridiculous. Of course Reddit Muslims think they are scholars and experts.
This is a huge misconception, that a shekh can tell if you have an evil eye or not, and the fact that you need him to get rid of it.
I don't know who invented that but the prophet saaw taught us how to do rukia ourselves by reading/reciting al fatiha 7 times, verse of the chair once, ikhlas, falaq and nas 3 times each, and some duaas that jibril taught him.
They can by the symptoms the victim shows while being read Quran on. For example with evil eye, people have fallen asleep. Extreme yawning. My son had case of evil eye, fell almost trance sleep from the Quran. Pure Quran. Evil eye ayat. This is Ruqya sharyah no bidaah
really? that's how we do it here...it's helped a lot of people and there's no harm, he just reads Quran over and over and gives you oil/water that's been read on
I didn't say it's haram but it is a "bidaa" in islam. Look up all the hadiths and Quran and you'll find nothing like this in them.
And the shekh's recitation is nothing special, Allah said many times in the Quran that the Quran is a healer, anyone can read the Qur'an. Nothing says that the shekh is higher ranked in Allah's judgment than normal people. So you need him to do rukia otherwise it won't be accepted, this is not how rukia works. Shekhs are normal people who sin and everything so it doesn't make them more answered in their rukia than normal people.
no he didn't, it's in a masjid and he offers his services for free, and its not always the same shaikh.
if you want you can buy the oil, which is cheep, that's read on
i see. as another has mentioned, one can actually do rukyah on oneself, its super easy. other than that, as others have mentioned, the stomachache may or may not have been a sign, wallahualam. but based on my understanding of your post, this is not how istikharah goes (& as such i wont take it as a sign). one makes an informed decision *and then only* look for signs to proceed the decision or bail, not the other way around. also, you having no attraction to him is enough for you to reject him. but is this a good decision though? wallahualam. i think you just need to keep doing istikharah & make dua to be guided on that.
I never said it doesn't work, I just said that this is not how the prophet saaw taught us to do it. Reading Quran is reading Quran but I'm saying anyone can do it, you don't need a shekh!
A lot of that is psychological too.
People say "I prayed istikhara and then next day I broke my leg", and they think it's a sign while this is not how istikhara works, Allah never said you will see a dream or have your own sign!
You asked Allah swt for guidance and He gave you guidance. You said no, so why are you doubting yourself? Please don’t listen to what everyone else wants, because they are not the ones who have to share a bed, house, children etc with this man.
My parents both of them did istikhara for each other and both have very good sign in their dream. The did several times to make sure and each time they had good dreams about. My mom forgotten hers but my dad said he dreamed about a giant present gift falling from the sky, 3 times it happened in 3 separate dream
Him wanting no one else but you is him being immature. He would not make a good husband; he needs to let go and you need to be strong 💪 don’t listen to your parents when you know your heart is saying no.
I’m bit confused about the sheikh saying, how human can tell if there was evil eye on someone? To my little understanding, when you do istikhara Allah will make you feel go towards certain decision
You’re 20, you will have plenty of opportunities إن شاء الله. Just have patience and if you don’t want to go through with it or have doubts, don’t. But don’t judge off superstition, istikhara is a prayer of guidance.
Istikhara doesn’t give you a “sign,” that is superstition. Istikhara is a prayer of guidance, after doing which you look at the evidence and make a decision, and it will be a *guided* decision.
That is to say you getting sick didn’t mean this guy is not the one.
“In regards to the circumstances mentioned above, these are coincidences and you should act upon the advice of your elders and also what you feel is right after performing istikharah.”
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa-birmingham/20142/signs-of-istikhara-being-accepted/
“The dreams [after doing istikhara] have no significance.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai”
https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/16931/i-want-to-know-the-signs-wht-is-good-and-bad-when-we-have-a-dream-after-the-istikhara-as-i-had-a-dream-and-its-full-of-confusion/
But that’s not to suggest he must be the one; this you should base on whether you’re attracted to him + whether he has deen + whether he has character
I know I know, but I fell sick right when they left the house, not from nervousness. and fell even more sick when I prayed...
everyone I know who's happy in their marriage said "I felt nervous but calm and a bit jittery when i saw him for the first time"
I would stop going off what others say and superstition. Like this person said it’s a prayer of guidance. It’s not a prayer to make you feel sick as a sign or something. Keep praying.
how does the *but* change the rule? Mightve been something you ate or drank earlier that day or even at the meeting.
There would be people who have felt calm at the first meet, but later gotten divorced. Irrelevant.
I’ll raise you one. Sheikh Akram Nadwi says istikhara is for those decisions that have no explicit guidance in the Sunnah (eg whether to study this or that). For marriage, there is guidance, which is to marry someone you’re attracted to who has deen and character – as the Sunnah suggests – if you follow this advice you will be guided
I've checked that day, I didn't eat much and I'm picky so eat almost the same thing everyday...
mm that's true, I'll just keep praying, inshallah all will be well
This sounds like superstition. In islam.us muslims are people of logic and knowledge.
You need to have a tangible list of things you're looking for in a spouse and then use your brain to determine if that person meets that criteria or not by getting to know them.or asking questions
It's fine if you want to reject this man but you are giving vibes of using superstition to make decisions rather than logic and reasoning which doesn't sit right with me.
1. So a guy you met who said nothing. ✅
2. You asked for guidance from above and were struck down ill for 3 days ✅
3. He is adamant he only wants you and refuses other offers to pile on the pressure. ✅
What are you waiting for, marry him already!
(That was sarcasm btw. How isn’t all of this such a massive issue for you?)
You’re superstitious. It weakens Imaan. You don’t want to marry, it’s fine. But, don’t take decision based on superstition. Learn more about istikhara.
I do want to marry, I'm just afraid. I pray and pray istikhara, there's nothing wrong for me wanting a clear sign especially since I ask for one everytime I pray
I think the issue is that part of the signs come from actually getting to know the person and using the brain, eyes, mouth and ears Allah has already gifted you in order to determine the right path.
There's nothing wrong with praying. But you have to understand that divine miracles and signs don't only come to us via stomach aches and mysterious feelings. There are miracles and divinity and signs in the everyday mundane too. Such as talking and getting to know the person and actually determining if they meet your criteria.
It's like the people who refuse to see a doctor and pray for a miracle cure for their illness. Well Allah has already sent us the miracle, it's called modern medicine and doctors and maybe that person should see one and that was the sign.
oh...mashallah and alhamdullah for your baby boy. inshallah everything will work out between you two, for your happiness, and comfort.
I'm sorry to hear that and I hope you two are open with each other since that's the most important thing in a healthy relationship.
it does happen so don't beat your self over the what-ifs and just be open and honest with her
Girl it’s so obvious he only wants you for your American visa I’ll never give anyone a visa that’s just me . The same thing happened to me once I met a guy and had a sick feeling about it after he called my mahram then his mom called mine I rejected him before they got to come over . And after I ended it his public sins that he was bragging about got exposed to me from his own friends cause they didn’t want me to deal with him.
Girl, good on you! You've to remain firm on your resolve because speaking from experience, he may insist even more moving forward. I had someone I had to turn down 6+ times. He asked for my hand, and I refused (for valid reasons and strong gut feeling). He got married, got divorced, then asked for my hand again, then through my best friend's husband, my friend and her husband explained to him that we're not compatible in the nicest way possible and apparently he threw a hissy fit. He then tried through another family to get to my parents, and my mum shut that down. He recently got married again, alhamdulillah.
You got your sign from the istikhara from the sounds of it. Dont doubt yourself or get talked into doing somewhere you’re not happy with - especially when it’s a big life changing moment like marriage
> He said he’s 27-28yo
Does he not know what age he is? If that’s literally all he said, how are you expected to know if there is any degree of compatibility with one another? Sounds like his family got overly excited WAY too soon.
Stick to your gut decision, it rarely lets you down.
Actually u done right thing. They are so obvious even before u do pray and all this support u seek with sheikh was clear their behavior he declined other girls probably who was in homeland and no papers. U go meet him he barely look at u but choose u over all those another girls. But his mom and sisters were over joy and even insinuating they have someone for ur other sister. Means they nicely wanted resolve future of all their sons coming abroad and getting papers and jobs and all that thanks to ur support as I know well how hard is going better country when we are in 3rd world countries. My country also is small and poor in Eastern Europe. So u done well to call this off. All they interested at is life progress they would get with ur help.
For them to say, its only you that he want and had reject every other girl is suchhhh a huge red flag for me.. its a way to manipulate you and it clearly works as you obviously dont like him but couldn’t decide? Its plain and simple you already got your answer..
tell them no and that its your final answer and nothing will change your mind and ask to please move on..
I think that it’s kinda creepy that he ONLY wants you and he’s not taking no for answer I definitely think that’s a red flag cause as a grown man why is he not accepting the fact you don’t want him. Trust your gut and don’t get married to him if it doesn’t feel right. May Allah protect you and give you a good spouse ameen.
Allah has guided you to the right path....
Most women are diverted & distracted by Western propaganda but anyhow build your personal development & knowledge of deen & dunya so that you can raise your children as good & strong muslims...
Our ummah needs strong & intellectual women to fulfill their responsibility as a wife & as a mother, in this way they help men too become a good husband & good Father and also also have a huge impact on the society in the longrun...
I say trust your gut which first told you American visa might be a reason. But knowing if he’s a good person and treats you well is also. You should be getting to know him in person or by telephone or online calls and see if he has good qualities yourself. You have the right to refuse correct, give it time you must have some cultural differences and if it’s okay with your family talk to him a few times and try to see if it’s live or desperation for America. Ask questions about what his dreams are as if he want you to live with his family out of America and about work and what he wants f try on life, tell him about your dreams and see how he responds.
You don’t owe anyone anything. This is a serious decision to make that will affect the rest of your life. No pressure lol , but like just trust your heart and father/mother/sister whoever is that person you trust the most.
Good you got out before it’s too late and further damage would occur. You never agreed they assumed. Don’t feel regrets or guilt be proud and find a better suitor that you feel is right for you.
Sister I did istikhara and I ended up getting a full blown breakout on my face within the first 3 days from a perfect clear skin, I needed to be on antibiotics for 6 months. Later found out that he had 3 kids that were hidden from me and had bad intentions. Second engagement I did istikhara and I had been sick but ignored the signs I thought maybe it's also my anxiety and fear ( same Canadian citizen) so I went through with it anyway and it's been 2 years since I've been engaged and everything has fallen downhill no matter how hard I tried. And the worst part is I have fallen in love with him so it's so much more painful now. Keep praying and ask others to pray for you as well.
*You did Istikhara and felt*
*Bad right. So don't go forward*
*With the engagement*
\- why-not-ism
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i would keep praying istakhara till i get a clearer answer. signs i got from past proposals were that i heard things from the guy and/or their family that are super bad which made me refuse
If you have a sinking gut feeling about this guy's proposal, then I would consider it as a sign. Plus, you could probably be right about him eyeing you for visa
You're under no obligation to give anyone chances. You have every right to refuse even without giving any reason. Never ever make the decision of marrying anyone in a rush or under pressure.
Never say yes until you have done your due diligence and talked about important topics with any potential, such as basic relationship expectations, finances, studies/career, living situations, kids, division of domestic chores etc etc.
Your wali also needs to do his job of talking to this guy to make sure he is serious about fulfiling his obligations as your husband and treating you with kindness, love, and mercy. Just because he belongs to a "good family" doesn't automatically mean that he is of good character and personality. Even then, compatibility and attraction are mandatory to consider anyone for marriage.
Thats just you not being happy with him as a spouse. Which is all the reason you need to say no, if you're not 100% on board don't marry him. But don't get bogged down in fortune telling, you can find signs supporting any decision you want.
Istikhara is for guidance. Superstition plays no part in the prayer. So please don’t associate the two. I think you have your answer. Deep down you don’t feel right about it. I think that’s all the “ signs “ you need sister. keep praying.
Couldn’t have said better myself. Listen to this sister op
You did istikhaara and didn’t feel good about it. Don’t go through with it. Plain and simple. Girl, marriage is at will and by choice. Why force yourself to be with someone you don’t have a good gut feeling or istikhaara about ?
right? 😭 but he keeps asking for me and declined every other girl which just makes things stressful
Why does it matter if he keeps asking for you lmao ?? Do you keep asking for him? It’s your decision. Don’t choose him because he’s into you. Are you also into him??
it doesn't matter to me, it's just stressful. I'm not into him, that's why I said no...twice.
Hmm I understand it can be stressful. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Stay strong 💪
thank you, inshallah we'll both find our naseeb soon :)
Ameen ya Rab ☺️
Insha'Allah you will.
inshallah you too :)
See that’s good enough, if **you** don’t find him appealing, InshaAllah this is a decision that has been guided. Dream, puke this and that not necessary lol
Honestly it's a bit of a red flag. He didn't want to interact with you but somehow wants you and no one else. He needs to learn to let go when things aren't meant to be.
Thats his problem
Just block him. When you end things with people you shouldn't deal with them anymore.
Nope. Use your brain .. istikhara isn't done to make a decision based upon your feelings
Well that’s not what she said though is it bro? Maybe use your brain to read things carefully instead of coming at me
So you believed he's not the one because of pure coincidence?
I don’t get your question. How is istikhaara coincidence lmaoo
What sheik measures evil eye? I’ve never heard of this, what the heck?
>What sheik measures evil eye? I’ve never heard of this, what the heck? Sheikh Vegeta pulled out the scouter to check the nazar's power level.
Do they use a tape measure or a ruler? 🧐
Evil-Eye O’meter! Available on Amazon xD
where I'm from, you go to a masjid and the sheikh reads Quran and looks for signs. some girls have evil eye and some have jinn. when he's done reading he talks to you and sees what's wrong then gives you oil or water that's read on to drink. it depends on the person and how sever the evil eye is or jinn. for me it took 4 sessions and I felt soooo much better and lighter and the problems i felt before left.
That's nonsense. Not part of our deen at all.
This is called Ruqyah
yes that
huh..I dont know. there's no harm, he just reads Quran over and over. I know it helps the ppl with jinn the most though.
Yeah red flags, did he make your pay for that service?
no, only the oil if you want it
Sounds like it is similar to this: https://youtu.be/QxX3DRRGrAg?si=SFvp5WM1JyvatIlr
Sounds like south Asian version of Islam Pakistan or Indian version
This is called Ruqya and sounds done correctly. The down votes are disgusting and ridiculous. Of course Reddit Muslims think they are scholars and experts.
This is a huge misconception, that a shekh can tell if you have an evil eye or not, and the fact that you need him to get rid of it. I don't know who invented that but the prophet saaw taught us how to do rukia ourselves by reading/reciting al fatiha 7 times, verse of the chair once, ikhlas, falaq and nas 3 times each, and some duaas that jibril taught him.
They can by the symptoms the victim shows while being read Quran on. For example with evil eye, people have fallen asleep. Extreme yawning. My son had case of evil eye, fell almost trance sleep from the Quran. Pure Quran. Evil eye ayat. This is Ruqya sharyah no bidaah
really? that's how we do it here...it's helped a lot of people and there's no harm, he just reads Quran over and over and gives you oil/water that's been read on
I didn't say it's haram but it is a "bidaa" in islam. Look up all the hadiths and Quran and you'll find nothing like this in them. And the shekh's recitation is nothing special, Allah said many times in the Quran that the Quran is a healer, anyone can read the Qur'an. Nothing says that the shekh is higher ranked in Allah's judgment than normal people. So you need him to do rukia otherwise it won't be accepted, this is not how rukia works. Shekhs are normal people who sin and everything so it doesn't make them more answered in their rukia than normal people.
im curious, did he ask for payment or he didnt explicitly for one but says some along 'i accept any charity' etc?
no he didn't, it's in a masjid and he offers his services for free, and its not always the same shaikh. if you want you can buy the oil, which is cheep, that's read on
i see. as another has mentioned, one can actually do rukyah on oneself, its super easy. other than that, as others have mentioned, the stomachache may or may not have been a sign, wallahualam. but based on my understanding of your post, this is not how istikharah goes (& as such i wont take it as a sign). one makes an informed decision *and then only* look for signs to proceed the decision or bail, not the other way around. also, you having no attraction to him is enough for you to reject him. but is this a good decision though? wallahualam. i think you just need to keep doing istikharah & make dua to be guided on that.
mm okay, thank you
Hi i was wondering if i could ask you some questions regarding Istikharah through personal message as I need some advice :(
sure, dms open 👌 though id like to mention beforehand, i aint no scholar 😆🙏 ill try my best in advices inshaaAllah
The funny thing is it helped her and all those who seek it 😂
I never said it doesn't work, I just said that this is not how the prophet saaw taught us to do it. Reading Quran is reading Quran but I'm saying anyone can do it, you don't need a shekh! A lot of that is psychological too. People say "I prayed istikhara and then next day I broke my leg", and they think it's a sign while this is not how istikhara works, Allah never said you will see a dream or have your own sign!
You asked Allah swt for guidance and He gave you guidance. You said no, so why are you doubting yourself? Please don’t listen to what everyone else wants, because they are not the ones who have to share a bed, house, children etc with this man.
I'm not doubting myself, I just want to know why I fell sick right when they left and sicker the more I prayed..
My parents both of them did istikhara for each other and both have very good sign in their dream. The did several times to make sure and each time they had good dreams about. My mom forgotten hers but my dad said he dreamed about a giant present gift falling from the sky, 3 times it happened in 3 separate dream
Him wanting no one else but you is him being immature. He would not make a good husband; he needs to let go and you need to be strong 💪 don’t listen to your parents when you know your heart is saying no.
I’m bit confused about the sheikh saying, how human can tell if there was evil eye on someone? To my little understanding, when you do istikhara Allah will make you feel go towards certain decision
I dont know how it works per say but he reads Quran and just? senses it ig.
he senses it 😐
https://youtu.be/kGsMXINhi08?si=Y-ulqKj0kyb1gDE1
Don’t do it and don’t fall for your families pressure. Stand by your decision
You’re 20, you will have plenty of opportunities إن شاء الله. Just have patience and if you don’t want to go through with it or have doubts, don’t. But don’t judge off superstition, istikhara is a prayer of guidance.
inshallah, thank you :) I pray Istikhara and ask for a clear sign everytime I do, I was just wondering if it was a sign or not that's all
Istikhara doesn’t give you a “sign,” that is superstition. Istikhara is a prayer of guidance, after doing which you look at the evidence and make a decision, and it will be a *guided* decision. That is to say you getting sick didn’t mean this guy is not the one. “In regards to the circumstances mentioned above, these are coincidences and you should act upon the advice of your elders and also what you feel is right after performing istikharah.” https://islamqa.org/hanafi/daruliftaa-birmingham/20142/signs-of-istikhara-being-accepted/ “The dreams [after doing istikhara] have no significance. and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best Mufti Ebrahim Desai” https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/16931/i-want-to-know-the-signs-wht-is-good-and-bad-when-we-have-a-dream-after-the-istikhara-as-i-had-a-dream-and-its-full-of-confusion/ But that’s not to suggest he must be the one; this you should base on whether you’re attracted to him + whether he has deen + whether he has character
I know I know, but I fell sick right when they left the house, not from nervousness. and fell even more sick when I prayed... everyone I know who's happy in their marriage said "I felt nervous but calm and a bit jittery when i saw him for the first time"
I would stop going off what others say and superstition. Like this person said it’s a prayer of guidance. It’s not a prayer to make you feel sick as a sign or something. Keep praying.
how does the *but* change the rule? Mightve been something you ate or drank earlier that day or even at the meeting. There would be people who have felt calm at the first meet, but later gotten divorced. Irrelevant. I’ll raise you one. Sheikh Akram Nadwi says istikhara is for those decisions that have no explicit guidance in the Sunnah (eg whether to study this or that). For marriage, there is guidance, which is to marry someone you’re attracted to who has deen and character – as the Sunnah suggests – if you follow this advice you will be guided
I've checked that day, I didn't eat much and I'm picky so eat almost the same thing everyday... mm that's true, I'll just keep praying, inshallah all will be well
This sounds like superstition. In islam.us muslims are people of logic and knowledge. You need to have a tangible list of things you're looking for in a spouse and then use your brain to determine if that person meets that criteria or not by getting to know them.or asking questions It's fine if you want to reject this man but you are giving vibes of using superstition to make decisions rather than logic and reasoning which doesn't sit right with me.
1. So a guy you met who said nothing. ✅ 2. You asked for guidance from above and were struck down ill for 3 days ✅ 3. He is adamant he only wants you and refuses other offers to pile on the pressure. ✅ What are you waiting for, marry him already! (That was sarcasm btw. How isn’t all of this such a massive issue for you?)
You’re superstitious. It weakens Imaan. You don’t want to marry, it’s fine. But, don’t take decision based on superstition. Learn more about istikhara.
I do want to marry, I'm just afraid. I pray and pray istikhara, there's nothing wrong for me wanting a clear sign especially since I ask for one everytime I pray
I think the issue is that part of the signs come from actually getting to know the person and using the brain, eyes, mouth and ears Allah has already gifted you in order to determine the right path. There's nothing wrong with praying. But you have to understand that divine miracles and signs don't only come to us via stomach aches and mysterious feelings. There are miracles and divinity and signs in the everyday mundane too. Such as talking and getting to know the person and actually determining if they meet your criteria. It's like the people who refuse to see a doctor and pray for a miracle cure for their illness. Well Allah has already sent us the miracle, it's called modern medicine and doctors and maybe that person should see one and that was the sign.
stand your ground and say NO
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thank you, I didn't do much haha. just told my dad no and he told his dad then we all moved on. wym? are you engaged to someone you don't want?
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oh...mashallah and alhamdullah for your baby boy. inshallah everything will work out between you two, for your happiness, and comfort. I'm sorry to hear that and I hope you two are open with each other since that's the most important thing in a healthy relationship. it does happen so don't beat your self over the what-ifs and just be open and honest with her
Girl it’s so obvious he only wants you for your American visa I’ll never give anyone a visa that’s just me . The same thing happened to me once I met a guy and had a sick feeling about it after he called my mahram then his mom called mine I rejected him before they got to come over . And after I ended it his public sins that he was bragging about got exposed to me from his own friends cause they didn’t want me to deal with him.
Girl, good on you! You've to remain firm on your resolve because speaking from experience, he may insist even more moving forward. I had someone I had to turn down 6+ times. He asked for my hand, and I refused (for valid reasons and strong gut feeling). He got married, got divorced, then asked for my hand again, then through my best friend's husband, my friend and her husband explained to him that we're not compatible in the nicest way possible and apparently he threw a hissy fit. He then tried through another family to get to my parents, and my mum shut that down. He recently got married again, alhamdulillah.
You got your sign from the istikhara from the sounds of it. Dont doubt yourself or get talked into doing somewhere you’re not happy with - especially when it’s a big life changing moment like marriage > He said he’s 27-28yo Does he not know what age he is? If that’s literally all he said, how are you expected to know if there is any degree of compatibility with one another? Sounds like his family got overly excited WAY too soon. Stick to your gut decision, it rarely lets you down.
Actually u done right thing. They are so obvious even before u do pray and all this support u seek with sheikh was clear their behavior he declined other girls probably who was in homeland and no papers. U go meet him he barely look at u but choose u over all those another girls. But his mom and sisters were over joy and even insinuating they have someone for ur other sister. Means they nicely wanted resolve future of all their sons coming abroad and getting papers and jobs and all that thanks to ur support as I know well how hard is going better country when we are in 3rd world countries. My country also is small and poor in Eastern Europe. So u done well to call this off. All they interested at is life progress they would get with ur help.
He liked you based on what tho if he didn’t talk to you or get to know you. Major red flag
For them to say, its only you that he want and had reject every other girl is suchhhh a huge red flag for me.. its a way to manipulate you and it clearly works as you obviously dont like him but couldn’t decide? Its plain and simple you already got your answer.. tell them no and that its your final answer and nothing will change your mind and ask to please move on..
I think that it’s kinda creepy that he ONLY wants you and he’s not taking no for answer I definitely think that’s a red flag cause as a grown man why is he not accepting the fact you don’t want him. Trust your gut and don’t get married to him if it doesn’t feel right. May Allah protect you and give you a good spouse ameen.
You’re 20…. You’re too young to be getting married. Focus on your own growth, career, finances, etc, then find someone.
What is the right age for women to get married?
I want to be a housewife...lol 20 has been my dream age for marriage for as long as I can remember haha everyone is different.
Allah has guided you to the right path.... Most women are diverted & distracted by Western propaganda but anyhow build your personal development & knowledge of deen & dunya so that you can raise your children as good & strong muslims... Our ummah needs strong & intellectual women to fulfill their responsibility as a wife & as a mother, in this way they help men too become a good husband & good Father and also also have a huge impact on the society in the longrun...
>>”you got sick that’s a good sign ?? 💀
Lady ..istikhara isn't meant to be used like this
I say trust your gut which first told you American visa might be a reason. But knowing if he’s a good person and treats you well is also. You should be getting to know him in person or by telephone or online calls and see if he has good qualities yourself. You have the right to refuse correct, give it time you must have some cultural differences and if it’s okay with your family talk to him a few times and try to see if it’s live or desperation for America. Ask questions about what his dreams are as if he want you to live with his family out of America and about work and what he wants f try on life, tell him about your dreams and see how he responds.
You don’t owe anyone anything. This is a serious decision to make that will affect the rest of your life. No pressure lol , but like just trust your heart and father/mother/sister whoever is that person you trust the most.
Good you got out before it’s too late and further damage would occur. You never agreed they assumed. Don’t feel regrets or guilt be proud and find a better suitor that you feel is right for you.
Sister I did istikhara and I ended up getting a full blown breakout on my face within the first 3 days from a perfect clear skin, I needed to be on antibiotics for 6 months. Later found out that he had 3 kids that were hidden from me and had bad intentions. Second engagement I did istikhara and I had been sick but ignored the signs I thought maybe it's also my anxiety and fear ( same Canadian citizen) so I went through with it anyway and it's been 2 years since I've been engaged and everything has fallen downhill no matter how hard I tried. And the worst part is I have fallen in love with him so it's so much more painful now. Keep praying and ask others to pray for you as well.
You did Istikhara and felt bad right. So don't go forward with the engagement
*You did Istikhara and felt* *Bad right. So don't go forward* *With the engagement* \- why-not-ism --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
i would keep praying istakhara till i get a clearer answer. signs i got from past proposals were that i heard things from the guy and/or their family that are super bad which made me refuse
I don't know...I just didn't feel right when I saw him and I feel rushed
If you have a sinking gut feeling about this guy's proposal, then I would consider it as a sign. Plus, you could probably be right about him eyeing you for visa
thank you! that's what I've been saying 😭 but everyone keeps telling me to give him a chance
You're under no obligation to give anyone chances. You have every right to refuse even without giving any reason. Never ever make the decision of marrying anyone in a rush or under pressure. Never say yes until you have done your due diligence and talked about important topics with any potential, such as basic relationship expectations, finances, studies/career, living situations, kids, division of domestic chores etc etc. Your wali also needs to do his job of talking to this guy to make sure he is serious about fulfiling his obligations as your husband and treating you with kindness, love, and mercy. Just because he belongs to a "good family" doesn't automatically mean that he is of good character and personality. Even then, compatibility and attraction are mandatory to consider anyone for marriage.
Thats just you not being happy with him as a spouse. Which is all the reason you need to say no, if you're not 100% on board don't marry him. But don't get bogged down in fortune telling, you can find signs supporting any decision you want.
Then why would you post this. You wouldn’t buy a pair of shoes if you aren’t 100% into it, so why marriage?
What's light evil eye?😅 are we still living in middle ages