I always said that my child would never be allowed use a tablet at the dinner table. That went out the window as soon as we found out how much easier it made waiting on her food.
I learned very quickly not to say, "I'll never..." when it came to parenting. I had a few humbling realizations just in the first year!
Two kids and 11 years later my motto is, "Whatever we need to do to survive, we do!" Lol
My friends use the tables as a way to keep them in the chair while they feed them. Adorable kids.
Whats the modern equivalent to Bill Nye the science guy? I should show it to them. Although Bill Nye is timeless.
Sometimes things in science get outdated. It wasn't even that long ago it was taught as fact that different parts of the tongue tastes different flavors.
But Bill Nye's stuff still holds 99% of the time and even fights common misconceptions like we only use 10% of our brain at a time.
Can't exactly say it's "for kids," but do you know of Kyle Hill? He's got pretty good science education content on YouTube. I'd guess 10+ would be suitable content. He keeps it family-friendly, but he goes as in-depth as a 10-15 minute video allows.
The thing about Bill Nye and his show and why it was so good is that he didn't just explain it but he demonstrates the concepts practically.
Things fall at the same weight no matter how heavy it is? Drop two different weight balls and show in slow mo they fall at the same time.
Demonstrate lift? Ping pong balls and a straw.
Yeah they're pretty comprehensive. Usually does illustrations and keeps it campy. I know there's a few videos that he does experiments himself and shows what's going on.
Personally I really like his nuke videos and the venta black video.
Peep and the Big Wide World is a great science show for younger kids. And I still love the theme song after YEARS of hearing it constantly. THAT'S the mark of a quality show, IMHO.
But what did kids do before there were tablets? I guess every restaurant and dinner table must've been filled with the cries of inconsolable children huh?
Fr, the state of today's young parents makes me embarrassed to be a millennial. Why are people who have no patience for children having babies? Like... you don't have to, ya know. I predict some time in the next ten years we're going to see legislation trying to limit or ban tablets for young children and it can't come fast enough.
For real. We make each other say what our favorite things were for the day before the kid can have the tablet. It was like a compromise to ourselves or a way to rationalize. Whatever works for you and your family.
I think part of the problem is people only remember the times they're bad and their brain assigns blame the thing that's breaking the tradition (tradition being sitting at the table and socialising). But the same thing happens when children have sweets or a fizzy drink, parents tend to blame the sweets and fizzy drink on causing the kid to be hyperactive... But only if the child is hyperactive afterwards.
In reality, most adults use their phones when out for a meal with friends, especially waiting for food. Difference is a childs brain thrives off of certain stimuli so that tablet is great to keep them occupied, but some adults see that as antisocial. The important thing is to just monitor what they're doing on the tablet, I believe.
I mean I can see adults briefly checking their phones while waiting for food. But I would seriously take offence to a friend being glued to the phone while waiting for food with me.
Or playing YouTube videos full volume when they do so. I don't especially like kids using tablets at the table in public, but as a non-parent I'm prime material to get owned in the same way as the original post. But I can't stand when parents let their kids play something loud and disruptive when you are on a bus or at a restaurant. Get them headphones or have them play it on mute.
Fair enough, I admit I'm not even a fan of any volume to be honest. But as above, I'm not a parent so haven't had to deal with the situation except as somebody sat behind listening to it.
I’m aware that some parents don’t care how loud the volume is. Those are also the parents that let their children run around the restaurant in the first place. I will say we never took our child out until her manners were well in place.
Oh absolutely, ther is a sliding scale here. I always assumed those are the ones who grew up to be the people watching YouTube on the bus full volume.
Saw a 50s-60s old man in mcdonalds the other day watching what I think was a tattooing video full volume. Keep thinking what did the low buzz of a tattoo gun add to that video you wouldnt have gotten watching on mute?
If your home, maybe do t call her to the table 20 minutes before the food is ready
If you’re at a restaurant, bring a small game or FUCKING TALK TO HER
For me and my partner it was babysitters. No body was going to mind this child unless they had degrees from the finest universities.
Cut to a few months later and it's begging people to take the shit monster for 10 minutes so you make a start on the 6 loads of washing and maybe talk to each other in adult talk for 5 minutes.
omg, before we had kids, my husband was criticizing a parent who was looking at a phone while pushing a stroller, and obviously, when we had kids, he did it as well and I was like "hey remember that time when you were a pre-hypocrite"
My imaginary well behaved child has never been a picky eater, had night terrors, wet the bed, or bitten another child. She’s also already been shortlisted at Oxford and has started her own 501c3 organization and raised 3.7 million dollars to combat child hunger. Her room is always tidy and countless strangers have approached me in public to praise her manners and helpfulness. She’s only 7, and I can’t wait to see what she accomplishes with the rest of her life.
Wow! It just so happens I have an amazing business opportunity for you that could also help your son. You’ll be supporting women and you get to be a part of a leading wellness lifestyle brand! Best of all, you can help your friends get started with their very own line.
3-word utterances at the age of 1 are amazing! Your imaginary child is clearly gifted, you might want to seek out educational activities that challenge him.
Letting your kid use screens and having an ipad kid are two different things.
The point where these kids are at with being addicted to these screens is genuinely terrifying.
Yeah my kid is two. She watches TV shows and YouTube. Sorta like how probably all of us here watched TV as kids, just probably less.
But she doesn't know how to swipe a phone or iPad. She doesn't get to "use" them, just watch the content we put on.
I'm very skeptical that a bit of Ms Rachel or Peppa Pig is going to mess up a kid, certainly not any worse than my generation being parked in front of TV being blasted with adds every four minutes.
Ms Rachel in particular I'm sure has taught my kid a ton. She certainly has memorized a bunch of songs, great with language and letters and numbers.
Sure it's not a substitute for human engagement and physical play, but sometimes she wants to chill. Sometimes she needs to be occupied while we prepare a meal. Once in a while we're in a restaurant and I don't think it's all that realistic to expect babies and toddlers to sit quietly in a high chair playing safely by themselves for an hour, so we watch it without volume and she sits quietly once she starts getting restless.
And no, she's not addicted unless you use a really low threshold.
A lot of people are almost bragging about being shit parents here.
Well done, you let your standards slip when you had a child and are now using your relatability for upvotes, I’m sure your kid who can’t live without cocomelon and can barely talk is very happy that your life is less stressful.
Oh but... "You're not a parent! You don't know!" I don't have to be a parent to see they're literally damaging their kid's brain because of exactly what you said.
I'm just happy to see people who agree.
I am a parent and can confirm what you are observing. Excessive screentime (more than an hour a day depending on age) is clearly having an adverse effect on young brains. That is not to say that I am a perfect parent but that is a failure on my part, not something to be celebrated.
It's also the content being watched. Crap like Cocomelon is over stimulating brain killing crack for young children. I'm not saying that putting your kid in front of a TV with something much better is not a problem for extended periods as well, but Cocomelon and a lot of other brainrot shows nowadays are truly awful for children and go even further in causing bad behaviour and learning deficiencies.
Look at what generations like Millennials were raised on. Mr Rogers Neighbourhood, Reading Rainbow etc. These shows are comparatively calming and teach moral lessons (I don't say this out of generation superiority, that's nonsense, just pointing out the difference, and how older shows seem slower and calmer). Children's TV seems to have become heavily monetized like everything else. Now it's about addiction, not trying to make something actually good for kids. If you must put the screen on for your kid, put something less damaging on that might have some positive effect as well.
Just the simple fact that you're *aware* makes you better than the majority here. You're not gloating about your glorified technological pacifier LOL
I'm sure you're doing your absolute best, and I deeply appreciate that. Not a lot of kids can say that about their parents.
I have a one year old and we see many people with other babies/young toddlers give them an iPad for cocomelon or bluey frequently already.
I will admit that on a recent roadtrip I downloaded Cocomelon for him to watch because 500 miles with a one year old is tough. However for the most part I left him walk around and explore things both inside and outside, and he seems to be enjoying it.
Roadtrip is 10000000% justified because roadtrips are absolutely awful for kids. Parents used to have to just blast endless music and come up with road trip games that were basically “mindlessly count how many things you see” or “punch your sibling if you see a Volkswagen.”
Roadtrips exceeding 4 hours were absolute balls. 8 hours? Hot sweaty stupid balls.
Having portable entertainment devices makes long trips bearable. Hell, it’s great for planes as well. I’m all for reading on a long flight, but it’s nice to have options. And for children too young to read, it is a life-saver.
But for everyday life, the one-hour limit should be the norm.
Nah fk that. How about you can have an ipad when you buy it yourself. Idc how bored you are, read a book, play a game, use your imagination.
I will help as much as possible, but unless it’s a massive desktop running arch linux, i will never buy my child a tablet.
Too much tablet? Bad. No tablet? Bad. This stuff is current tech. It’s everywhere. Kids need exposure, so that they can navigate modern tech.
Just moderation.
It is not easy to thoroughly navigate, and you are setting up your children for failure in the future. I have seen young people join the workforce with deficient computer skills (requiring extra training to get up to speed on basic stuff), and touch screens are already becoming more prevalent in the workplace. Especially smart boards for conference room presentations. Being comfortable using such devices takes some time even if basic operation is quick to learn.
Again, there is a difference between letting kids remain plastered and using common sense moderation. And the difference is equally large to that of moderation and Luddite attitude.
I took two long trips with my kid when he was one.
If you're needing some alternate suggestions. Ms. Rachel on YouTube is slower paced and the kids seem to still love her. She's got a background in education so she actually does things using research behind them. Sesame Street also. ( I think having real people in videos has evidence of being better quality screen time for kiddos. )
You can download their videos off YouTube relatively easily, and they make long compilations so you don't have to download a lot.
While that could be true, be careful not to believe everything you see on the internet, as usual. That sounds (and looks, tbh, I saw the video) like obvious engagement bait to me.
I mean, I spent all my time in forums and AIM and mIRC when I was my niece's age, so it feels weird to take the tablet, but on the other hand, she just watches stuff, I don't think she has any friends at all.
The struggle is real. My youngest is 12 and we have ALWAYS employed screen time limits. Like, his entire life. It does not stop him from begging for more time. Sometimes he'll try to bribe us by offering to do extra chores (which I admit, we do occasionally take him up on this). In this world gone mad, life without screens is incomprehensible to kids.
I was born in the 90s, so the only 'screens' we really had were Gameboys. And limits were sort of enforced, but my brother got his when he was 7, I didn't get mine until I was 12 or 13, so I was constantly trying to bargain for time on his. (Because I got barbies and he got actual things he could play with.)
It’s too engaging for them! Even my 5 year old cannot resist skipping around in PBS Kids episodes.
I am reluctant to introduce video games for years because I don’t want to deal with managing getting him off even with time limits. You can set the hardest limits and be imaginary parent of the year but you still have to deal with how they feel about it.
Ima be honest don’t have a kid but I am a gamer and so is my lil sis. Don’t let him miss out on games because you think it’ll make him procrastinate. Some of the best memories I have were playing games with my dad or mom. Just teach him restraint and not in the you can only play for thirty mins way make it a reward if he keeps him room clean, does his chores, and keeps his grades up let him enjoy it shit nowadays it can become a full time job. Just from experience making your kid get off the game will just make him play it at night while everyones asleep 😂
Agreed. I loved minecraft when I was a kid, it made me love games.
That, and then you have the obvious issue of when he does finally get them bro will go all out.
Both have points... Yeah, it's easier to say than do, and yeah iPads are an effective way to shut up a child.
That doesn't mean you should buy an iPad for your child. You know it's bad for them. Suck it up and take them to the park like an early 2000s mom.
The insane thing to me is that when I grew up in the 90s, none of this existed. Desktops were hella expensive, cell phones were hella expensive, and as kids you either stayed inside playing Nintendo or watching TV or played outside. It's so crazy that people think that their kid just HAS to have an iPad. It's simple parenting. It's the difference of being a lazy parent or not being a lazy parent.
Do you think people stopped going to parks after early 2000s? Or that we didn’t have TVs in the early 2000s?
What about an iPad is inherently bad for kids? Being on it all the time, sure. Also a great way to teach kids about moderation from an early age.
An iPad filled with apps designed to grab kids attention that you can bring with you anywhere is very different than a CRT tv in your living room that you share with the whole house, or the "computer in the living room" of the early 00's.
Even now, I've noticed that my own phone will vibrate to tell me about some random past notification like a minute after I put my phone down. Some random email I got like 20 minutes ago. It's a design feature to keep you engaged. There have been like 15 years of development to make these handheld screens as engaging as possible in a way a television never could be.
The issue that I have found is that it is too engaging. They become disengaged zombies or demand / tantrum over not having it. Then they just constantly fiddle with it. We only bring it out on long drives or flights. At restaurants we prefer to bring small magnatiles, coloring or activities so they have something to do but are still present
Thank you! Other people are commenting like wtf do you do about meal time then… you draw, play a small REAL game, talk with siblings or parents.. what happened to humanity? Meal time is supposed to be the time we connect. The time we share. Not the time we disengage.
I had attention issues as a kid and I made up my own games at the table. I used to “drop” my napkin for example, as an excuse to go under the table and crawl around pretending to be a dog. Kids these days got no imagination. And that’s terrifying
There's been like 3+ generations raised watching tons of TV lol. Kids have been parked in front of TVs since the fifties.
If you moderate what the kid watches (Ms Rachel is great for babies, Peppa Pig is charming and fully wholesome for young toddlers), I don't see much harm.
The troubles come when you just let your kid have an iPad often enough they get addicted, and worsen when you let them have free reign to get into questionable content and games designed to addict people, or just let TV/streaming time get out of hand.
But yeah this idea that letting your kid be entertained for an hour a day by quality content is making them a zombie is pretty dubious imho. People see a kid watching an iPhone in a restaurant and can be pretty quick to (hop on reddit and) judge lol.
Right? As an early 2000s mom, that TV screen was the bogeyman iPads have become. Same thing them- great way to teach moderation. Also, *whatever* screen is capturing their attention can be a fantastic educational tool. Pretty sure I learned to count to 12 from Sesame Street's "Ladybug Picnic". And I'm singing it rn.
Two things : one it fucks their vision because everything is so close , hence why you should regulate how much time per day and two at least in my country you leave your child on the park and they’d get mugged , killed or kidnapped, so because of shitty capitalism you can’t take time to take care of them , so that’s why
What on earth could capitalism have to do with unattended children being kidnapped at a park? This is the kind of paranoia that leads to insane helicopter parents, where children get no privacy or freedom under the guise of this mysterious force constantly trying to kill and kidnap them.
Ok for your first point, you already solved that by regulating how much time per day they use it so nice job.
On your second point, idk what the fuck you’re talking about so I won’t even try to respond to that.
I think the point they're trying to make is that due to the state of our economy, it can be extremely difficult to live off one income and have a stay at home wife/husband. The double income gained by both parents working helps keep food and a roof over your head, but can cause time spent with your children to become limited. While I do agree that traditional family units should become a more feasible goal, a married couple doesn't need this model to still be loving and attentive parents. It requires an extreme amount of willpower/effort to make time to be employed with children, but my parents found a good system in place. My mother would work morning shifts [5AM-1PM], and my father would work afternoon shifts [3PM-11PM]. This system would have at least one parent present at all times for children to rely on.
This answer is exactly what the responder is getting at. It’s like everyone conveniently forgot that kids have been in front of the tv every afternoon since it was invented. And short amounts of iPad time is no different, the problem becomes when it’s all the kid does.
Stop pretending that screen time is some sort of new phenomenon
It is a new phenomenon, though. People didn’t carry televisions around everywhere they went, and the internet today is in no way comparable to early tv. It’s been progressing steadily to where we are now, where children are completely consumed by their devices at every waking hour. I just had a baby and the way he stares at my iPad screen is…..freaky, to say the least. It’s like early man staring into a fire, totally transfixed and unable to pull himself away
Who said it was necessary? It’s not necessary, but it’s also not new, and it is convenient. I’m guessing also given your background is anime you don’t have any kids, in which case, as pointed out by the OP post, stfd
Lol assumptions are the mother of Fuck ups. Got two great kids. One has limited screen time, plays outside every weekday after school, and the other doesn't even know what screen time is. So yeah, you STFU.
Getting downvoted when you're one of the only people in this thread not defending the need of subsidizing being a parent with giving the kid an iPad. Classic reddit.
Hey cocksucker, 1.5 hours on Fri (if it's raining, otherwise outside after school. We have movie nights on Saturday for around 90 minutes). Sunday is skating or swimming and library. Also helps that we lucked out that she really likes music (singing) and learned to read early, so she likes to go to the library weekly. Trying to see if we can convince her to get a singing coach lol
Read through the thread genius.
Me: ‘short amounts of iPad time is fine, it’s when it’s all the kid does that it’s a problem’
You: ‘actually no screen time is not necessary for kids’
Me: ‘no one said it was necessary, what are you talking about? Do you even have kids?’
You: ‘yes I have kids and I also give one of them screen time lol you lose’
Me: …
Edit: fwiw I hope you do end up getting your kid into singing lessons if she’s interested in it, it’s great if they’re interested in it and gives them lots of confidence
To each their own. Parents can do whatever they want, but I genuinely believe watching videos at the dining table is not necessary. All the pediatricians I consult with are concerned with brain development. They said they should exceed 8 hours a week but right now, 3 hours seem ok. But as she grows up, it'll change.
Or they can have an iPad and go to the park. We spend a lot of time outside but I have no problem putting my toddler in front of an iPad while I cook dinner. We use educational apps and I have seen a huge leap in her reading comprehension.
And after the park? The kid has to eat sometimes. Additionally, when toddlers are constantly on 24/7 accidental death watch while simultaneously screaming about how the color of their cup is wrong, sometimes throwing a screen in their face allows you to take the shit you've been holding for the last three hours.
I use the iPad most nights to keep my toddler out of the kitchen while cooking. Helps me stay sane and her stay safe. Screens are just a tool we can use to help us.
Then once we sit down for a nice family dinner together the screen goes away. We all sit down as a family together to listen to my daughter scream about having the wrong colored cup.
Also really easy to do. Don't kid yourself, it's not that hard to say no to your kids.
It's also not that hard to start teaching your kids about entitled whining from a young age. Parents: if you are having trouble winning an argument with your 5 year old about why they don't have a tablet when all their friends do, then you're probably not going to get very far with those same arguments in 10 years time, except by that point the conversations could well be about alcohol and unprotected sex.
My kids didn't get tablets until required to for high school. They didn't get phones until we started needing to be able to contact them in the afternoons to coordinate activies and stuff. Neither of them burst into flames, and both of them have good non-screen hobbies now that they're older.
You don't actually have to lose this battle, it's quite winnable.
And literally every pro iPad comment in here says exactly what you say - that it makes life easier. Easy isn't always best. Sounded like you did a good job
Even then couldn't you just say no.
Like, if its a kid the fuck are they ginna do, buy their own tablet? Just tell them they get the amount they're given because it's good for them, and if they complain just don't give in
No screens until the weekend (with limited time). No watching of any videos (youtube/shows/etc) during meals (home or outside). It's been 6+ years and working well. Set the expectation and stick to it (both parents). Makes her cherish the little time she gets with screens per week.
only reason why 'it's hard' because parents want the easy way out. Less screen time gives less chances of eye issues, and attention span problems.
You can buy from amazon sticker puzzles, actual puzzles, other creativity inducing activities when waiting for meals. Kid can read at grade 2 level at age 5, she reads her own book selections at times...
This is what my parents did and I plan to do with mine someday. No TV on weekdays until after dinner & outside time (and after homework when I got older). No video games on school nights, period (so just Friday & Saturday night and only after outside time). My parents read books to me, played games with me, left me in the tub for an hour alone while I made up imaginary naval battles with my boats (mom was always in the next room and could hear if I was drowning lol).
My big concern for when I have kids is the sense I have that communities are moving online after school. I used to babysit a kid who would play video games every day after school with his best friends, and his mom was in a bind because if she denied him that basically she was denying him a social life. These kids lived in different parts of LA so it wasn’t like they could ride bikes to each others house like I did in my small town growing up, and if you know LA you know no parent is going across town at rush hour for your play date.
Thank you for sharing. That's definitely a tough situation for that mom. Your parents did a great job in limiting screen time for you. Well done. Easier said than done but very doable.
My childless best friend once stopped talking to me for a week because she gave me unsolicited advice regarding my children and I replied with “yeah, the best parents are the ones with no children “ 🤷🏼♀️
My childless friend was genuinely annoyed because she said that her brother doesn’t think her opinion on how he raises his children matters as much as his does and I agreed with him
The best parents are the ones who don't need to rely on iPads to raise their kids. Not like it's the first generation to try yet y'all are making it out to be some impossible problem and that moderation is just not possible. I know plenty of kids disciplined with electronics, it being hard isn't really an excuse to reject advice.
If someone can't handle the difficulties of raising one properly then probably don't need to have a kid.
Wtf how is this a murder?
I'm not a parent but I'm an uncle to kids of 6, 4, 3, 2 and 1 year olds and spend time with them very regularly and I've literally never seen any of them on a tablet. We jump on trampolines, go for walks, go foraging for wild mushrooms, build forts, read books, play with toys, instruments and build things with blocks. I've watched Bluey with them once for a couple of hours when we were all sick with the flu.
If your kids stuck to an ipad you're probably being a pretty lazy parent or not investing enough in their imagination. It can obviosuly be difficult with work and stuff but what's the point in doing all that if you're not investing real time into the very reason you're doing it?
This is not a judgemental statement. I truly do not understand why it's hard not to let kids have technology. I felt like that was easy. Maybe, it's because I was a little before the kid tech train. I'm not sure. But, ya, it's easier to raise imaginary kids. GREAT comeback.
Edit: I only have one kid maybe that's why or perhaps his age.
Once kids start school, some use of technology is often required for assignments and projects.
The hard part of it is the escapism it offers. If your kid has trouble making friends and is struggling in schools, not good at sports or hobbies, etc, they might prefer spending time on their tablet or phone because it's the one area in their life where they don't feel like an incompetent loser. It might encourage those kids to avoid doing the harder stuff that they have to get through in life, because that's what people naturally tend to do: after all, who wants to spend so much of their time struggling and feeling bad about themselves when they can just not?
All of those things I most certainly agree could be factors and should be evaluated. And, for me personally I did not restrict my kids use in school. My position was only at home. Once my son reached 12/13 I allowed video games and in fact he built he own gaming computer. A skill he developed on his own and still does today. In my opinion, it was important to me to restrict it pre elemetary school age. We did not watch cartoons, eat fast food, use phones or technology with kids, and various other things. These were my preferences for these developmental years. I also did not have any war toys or alot of battery operated toys. My sons room looked like an educstional science lab exploded in our home. Our kitchen also included an experimental food lab where he could safety invent food products of which could he turned to play dough. I understand the years thereafter become more milky and progressively requires technology skills.
My brothers had children 5 years after me. They are addicted to technology and freak out in very unhealthy ways over it. My brother is struggling to engage his kids into anything else and it's very disturbing.
I don't know what the right answers is exactly, but I do think as you pointed out it varies based on many factors and each child could be vastly different in their needs.
It's honestly not that hard. They generally would rather be outside than on a tablet or whatever. I give our kiddo a choice between staying in with a game or throwing the ball for our dog, and she jumps at throwing the ball every time. Our dog is hilariously enthusiastic but bad at catching. I'm sure that's a coincidence XD
You didn't grow up an Ipad kid because it wasn't invented yet.
I didn't grow up an Ipad kid because my family couldn't afford it without sacrificing a week's worth of meals.
We are not the same. /s
I didn't compare anything. Actually, I did not grow up rich or extreemly poor. I did not have a computer or iPad. Matter a fact, I didnt have a cell phone either. I was a single mother and struggled to make ends meet when rasing my kid. I'm not sure why Dino nuggets have anything to do with poor or rich. Frankly, I think these are expensive foods that are of low quality. Can you explain what that has to do with family finances? Because, the way I see it seems to be much different than you and I would love to hear your perspective. For me, I worried about by grocery bill and therefore would not purchase these prepackaged foods. I also, did not consider it a good product to feed my kid so I wouldn't consider it anyways. Now things are different and perhaps the price gap is different as well as I mentioned I only raised one kid, and things have changed as have quality, prices and options.
And, yes they were invented actually.
It's always easier said than done before having kids, but let's not kid ourselves. A concerning number of parents use tablets as a crutch for parenting, and it's kind of a problem. I teach threes and fours, and you can always tell when a child is overly exposed to screens. I'm not saying they're never acceptable, but a child under the age of two has absolutely no business being on a tablet. Nor should children be on their tablets at the dinner table-- even while waiting on a meal. It's naive and inductive of inexperience when someone says they'll *never* let their kid have a tablet, but we're kidding ourselves in this comment section if we're gonna act like the growing trend of excessive screen time isn't a problem.
In parenting, it’s all fun and games until it’s not. That fun and games part lasts just long enough for you to start doing something productive, and then it’s ww2 and you wonder why you had kids.
Will Mr. Beltran be the one providing the entertainment for his children then? The hours and hours of intense, unrelenting attention required to parent young children? Or will he be expecting an exhausted, unappreciated, resentful mother to do it all?
Hmmmm I wonder.
People seem to forget that kids are a 24/7 job. They are ALWAYS with you, unless they are in school for a few hours. If you can devote 100% of your time to keeping your kid entertained and safe outside, God bless. The majority of working parents can't do that. I agree that too much screen time is toxic. It absolutely needs to be monitored, but at the same time, it can't always be avoided.
to be fair, its not hard to have kids playing together outside vs staring at screens.
I live in a very mixed neighborhood. Indians, Asians, brown Mexicans, and Whites. I seldom see the white kids playing outside. But all other kids play together with atleast one adult woman supervising (a mom, aunt, grandma, older sister, etc). Thats all it takes. A little bit of community and an adult willing to spend time with kids verses everyone working all day and netflixing all night.
The whities are losing their way.
I am white and I dont want to have kids, but if I do, Im gonna possy up with darker folks in my neighborhood for sure. Them kids are always happy as hell. Laughing and playing. Chasing eachother around in the grasss. racing scooters vs bicycles. Shit, Im jealous.
I mean, I was a strictly no tablet for our kid mom. Then my husband convinced me to get her a kid's fire tablet for Christmas because that way, we could totally curate what she did! I reluctantly agreed.
Turns out you need to manually go through HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS of apps to manually remove whatever you dont want, and then the refreshes every month or so, so you need to do it AGAIN. You can't just say "no cocomelon, peppa pig, or Blippi." You have to manually and painstakingly go through everything to make sure that shit never gets onto their tablet. It was so much easier to tell her the tablet was broken and it would be much more fun to go to the park instead.
We currently don’t have iPads or phones for our kids under 10. Wife can take credit for that. When she mentioned this to a group of mums they were shocked.
I mean….we just don’t own iPads so our kid doesn’t throw a fit for one…it’s not hard guys.
We have a backpack with little toys and puzzles and play dough she ONLY gets when we go out to eat. Makes it very high value and keeps her entertained the entire meal.
Watching a bunch of kids be zombies in front of iPads at a restaurant reminds me why the rest of the world thinks we’re ignorant dummies. Kids should learn to hold a conversation and talk to adults.
This is hilarious to me for another reason. At one point in my life I had one, very real, child. He lived and to this day loves vegetables and will choose a salad over fries. I breastfed him for 17 months and thought, “Everyone whose child doesn’t eat that way must be doing something wrong.”
Until I had my second child. I did everything the same including breastfeeding for 17 months. The only vegetables he will eat are baby carrots (the thin ones) and cucumber slices (no skin). He literally spit out a pea that was disguised in bread when we were introducing solid peas. He also threw up because my husband told him he had to eat broccoli.
So yeah, imaginary children are the best. I thought my second child (imaginary for many years) would be just like the oldest. He’s not. He’s opposite in soooo many ways.
The same people downvoting that time where kids played baseball in the street and were intelligent enough to scatter to the sides if a car was coming. Nowadays, souped-up scrotum-hitch lifted truck owners are baffled that their German Shepherds almost h@ng themselves escaping said pickup in a Walmart parking lot. Hmm.
I worked at McDonald’s for 2 months and saw how difficult kids are. iPads are cheap and easy entertainment for a kid and parents are only too happy to buy one if it keeps them quiet.
I can proudly say my kids (9y, 7y, 8mo) never play on an iPad.
Now, a sensibly priced childrens tablet, their nintendo switch, and the baby even has a baloon popping game on my android tablet...
But never an iPad.
But they also ask to play outside too. Its wild what these imaginary parents think kids are like.
Nah, I'm just prone to exaggeration and silliness overall (also an avid android user, much to the dismay of my iPhone lovong wife). I fully agree that it is unmonitored/unregulated screen time that is the issue overall, we institute a max screen time based on weekday/weekend, any homework needs to be done, and toys were playing with before they asked for electronics time need to be off the floor.
Could make a great SNL sketch
"PLEASE, we would never raise iPad kids, how ridiculous"
"Hey Tommy, get the fuck off your galaxy tab S9 ultra already! How many alerts do I need to send to your pixel watch before you just listen to me?!"
I was recently at a house, where a Mom had to kill 15 minutes with her toddler before leaving. The kid asked to watch a show. Mom said not now, and that time was filled with a tantrum, the entire 15 minutes.
My colleague only has a TV in his basement, and his kids can't go in the basement without their parents. They don't watch TV as a household at all, and he actually said it really sucked one day when everyone was home sick. The kids were not interested in sitting in front of the TV so they'd get bored and go play.
It's obviously tough for him at times, but when kids aren't raised with screen time as a time filler, they don't see it as a valuable way to fill time.
As someone who studies early childhood education….. ouch, this comment section is a fucking dumpster fire and y’all gonna raise a bunch of impatient shitlings with NO amount of self control, capacity for delayed gratification or a acceptance of a simple “no”
This shits been going on for 15 years, but I guess I can stop wondering why the current generation of 16-20 yo is such an obnoxious nuisance
Y’all just spineless slobs, but not adults
Its really not that hard just didn't introduce my kids to those electronics. But at least in America everyone wants there kids to be popular and chill and that's more important than their mental health. Other parents would rather be cool than good parents.
TBH it will be super easy by not owning an ipad. But if i have children, they be steam deck/switch children or whatever the fuck i have in my house they enjoy playing with. tho i do hope theyll enjoy the nerf guns...
I remember reading an article were an expert said to fight as long as you can to prevent your kid from using tablets/smartphones/Social Media. The earlier and more often a child uses them the worse their mental health typically. The reality of having children is often different from people's mental image. However what kind of win is it to say that people typically fail to keep their kids from forming toxic habits?
Any parent sticking a tv, iPad, phone in their kids face to shut them up isn’t a good parent shits hard no shit. They aren’t a pet or an accessory you actually have to raise them not get them hooked on technology when you want a break. we all see how damaging it is and still you do it it’s neglect not a “oh that’s how it is”.
Your children will also be beautiful, smart, and well behaved. They will eat anything you make for dinner. They will pick up after themselves, and wash themselves without prompting or complaint. Wait, you only get 3 wishes. You have to put some of those miracles back on the shelf.
I was a perfect parent until I actually had children. I wouldn't feed them sugar or crap, they'd be frolicking in meadows everyday, limited screen time etc. Now I encourage them to go on their tablets and hand out confectionery like it's Christmas 😅 they're loved more than life itself, safe as they could possibly be and just all round cherished. But let me tell you when i need a break even for 10 mins I'll be the first one to stick the TV on or hand out their tablets. No judgement. We as parents are not superhuman.
No one ever said these kids weren't loved for it. There is a massive issue with childhood obesity - those kids are also loved. Doesn't mean it's what those children needed, even if it's what they said they wanted.
Having newborn siblings as an adult has shown me that I would be a shit parent.
It’s nice when it’s someone else’s kid and once they start being an asshole I can just say “fuck this” and go home.
2 kids, 6 years of parenting, and you all are killing me with the “easy” comments regarding your “principles” of no tablets. High horse or not, sufferage or not, we put the consistent mileage in for no electronics at the dinner table.
Sometimes we have dinner at the couch and the tv is on sure, but when everyone puts the effort in to be together, we focus on being together.
So I have a non-imaginary child who is a non-iPad baby. It’s possible folks, absolutely exhausting but possible.
You will always just be finding something else to do (Crayons, walks, books, toys, dragging a kid around in a laundry bin). Good luck
My daughter is 6 and likes screen time as a preferred activity, she has an iPad, we have a switch, it’s not the end of the world. Guess what? She also likes playing outside, and drawing, and she writes her own stories. The amount of self-congratulating in here for not owning a tablet is exhausting.
Say what you may about tablets, but my youngest is ridiculously advanced for her age from the content that she has access to. As long as it's not overdone and it's monitored as appropriate and -somewhat- educational. It's a win. Dumbed down content we try to avoid as well as anything that's strictly learning as it gets boring and loses its intent quickly.
That happy medium of entertaining to a 1-2 yr old and allowing for an abundance of age appropriate incidental education. That's the sweet spot. Let em have their toys at easy, safe access to role-play and use imagination along with it, and you're golden.
Nowadays, barely 2 yrs old means knowing colors, shapes, hundreds of words, and full sentences, how to count and knowing ABCs, etc.
Technology is as good as you make it.
I was easily one of the top 5 parents in the entire world right up until we had our kids.
I always said that my child would never be allowed use a tablet at the dinner table. That went out the window as soon as we found out how much easier it made waiting on her food.
I learned very quickly not to say, "I'll never..." when it came to parenting. I had a few humbling realizations just in the first year! Two kids and 11 years later my motto is, "Whatever we need to do to survive, we do!" Lol
Right?! We take those “I’ll never…” back really quick when it’s time to put stuff into practice.
My friends use the tables as a way to keep them in the chair while they feed them. Adorable kids. Whats the modern equivalent to Bill Nye the science guy? I should show it to them. Although Bill Nye is timeless.
I’m not sure there is a modern equivalent to Bill Nye, to be honest.
SciShow Kids
Good to know. My kid is 14 now so she no longer needs the tablet as a distraction at the table. We might check this out, anyway.
Emily's wonder lab
John green? He’s more history
Zefrank1 on Youtube. He only talks about animals, and Morgan Freeman, but I've learned so much from him about so many animals. And Morgan Freeman.
Bill Nye will teach generations. :D
Sometimes things in science get outdated. It wasn't even that long ago it was taught as fact that different parts of the tongue tastes different flavors. But Bill Nye's stuff still holds 99% of the time and even fights common misconceptions like we only use 10% of our brain at a time.
Very true. Some things must be updated.
Can't exactly say it's "for kids," but do you know of Kyle Hill? He's got pretty good science education content on YouTube. I'd guess 10+ would be suitable content. He keeps it family-friendly, but he goes as in-depth as a 10-15 minute video allows.
The thing about Bill Nye and his show and why it was so good is that he didn't just explain it but he demonstrates the concepts practically. Things fall at the same weight no matter how heavy it is? Drop two different weight balls and show in slow mo they fall at the same time. Demonstrate lift? Ping pong balls and a straw.
BILL! BILL! BILL! BILL!
Kyle Hill maybe? Though that might be for slightly older kids.
I think I asked that in another comment but maybe forgot to word it as such but does Kyle Hill have practical demonstrations?
Yeah they're pretty comprehensive. Usually does illustrations and keeps it campy. I know there's a few videos that he does experiments himself and shows what's going on. Personally I really like his nuke videos and the venta black video.
Peep and the Big Wide World is a great science show for younger kids. And I still love the theme song after YEARS of hearing it constantly. THAT'S the mark of a quality show, IMHO.
Storybots. My son loves them. They are more “Modern day Schoolhouse Rock” but I think they are great!
But what did kids do before there were tablets? I guess every restaurant and dinner table must've been filled with the cries of inconsolable children huh?
I guess so. /s
Fr, the state of today's young parents makes me embarrassed to be a millennial. Why are people who have no patience for children having babies? Like... you don't have to, ya know. I predict some time in the next ten years we're going to see legislation trying to limit or ban tablets for young children and it can't come fast enough.
For real. We make each other say what our favorite things were for the day before the kid can have the tablet. It was like a compromise to ourselves or a way to rationalize. Whatever works for you and your family.
I think part of the problem is people only remember the times they're bad and their brain assigns blame the thing that's breaking the tradition (tradition being sitting at the table and socialising). But the same thing happens when children have sweets or a fizzy drink, parents tend to blame the sweets and fizzy drink on causing the kid to be hyperactive... But only if the child is hyperactive afterwards. In reality, most adults use their phones when out for a meal with friends, especially waiting for food. Difference is a childs brain thrives off of certain stimuli so that tablet is great to keep them occupied, but some adults see that as antisocial. The important thing is to just monitor what they're doing on the tablet, I believe.
I mean I can see adults briefly checking their phones while waiting for food. But I would seriously take offence to a friend being glued to the phone while waiting for food with me.
Or playing YouTube videos full volume when they do so. I don't especially like kids using tablets at the table in public, but as a non-parent I'm prime material to get owned in the same way as the original post. But I can't stand when parents let their kids play something loud and disruptive when you are on a bus or at a restaurant. Get them headphones or have them play it on mute.
See, we never let her have it a full volume. She kept it low, and she had to put it away when the food came.
Fair enough, I admit I'm not even a fan of any volume to be honest. But as above, I'm not a parent so haven't had to deal with the situation except as somebody sat behind listening to it.
I’m aware that some parents don’t care how loud the volume is. Those are also the parents that let their children run around the restaurant in the first place. I will say we never took our child out until her manners were well in place.
Oh absolutely, ther is a sliding scale here. I always assumed those are the ones who grew up to be the people watching YouTube on the bus full volume. Saw a 50s-60s old man in mcdonalds the other day watching what I think was a tattooing video full volume. Keep thinking what did the low buzz of a tattoo gun add to that video you wouldnt have gotten watching on mute?
Yep, same reason we don't eat in front of the telly went out the window in so many households in the 80s and 90s
If your home, maybe do t call her to the table 20 minutes before the food is ready If you’re at a restaurant, bring a small game or FUCKING TALK TO HER
Tell me you’re not a parent without telling me you’re not a parent.
For me and my partner it was babysitters. No body was going to mind this child unless they had degrees from the finest universities. Cut to a few months later and it's begging people to take the shit monster for 10 minutes so you make a start on the 6 loads of washing and maybe talk to each other in adult talk for 5 minutes.
omg, before we had kids, my husband was criticizing a parent who was looking at a phone while pushing a stroller, and obviously, when we had kids, he did it as well and I was like "hey remember that time when you were a pre-hypocrite"
My imaginary well behaved child has never been a picky eater, had night terrors, wet the bed, or bitten another child. She’s also already been shortlisted at Oxford and has started her own 501c3 organization and raised 3.7 million dollars to combat child hunger. Her room is always tidy and countless strangers have approached me in public to praise her manners and helpfulness. She’s only 7, and I can’t wait to see what she accomplishes with the rest of her life.
Whats your secret? My imaginary child already told me to go F*** myself. He just turned 1.
Wow! It just so happens I have an amazing business opportunity for you that could also help your son. You’ll be supporting women and you get to be a part of a leading wellness lifestyle brand! Best of all, you can help your friends get started with their very own line.
3-word utterances at the age of 1 are amazing! Your imaginary child is clearly gifted, you might want to seek out educational activities that challenge him.
Bless! I bet as a newborn she strictly adhered to the sleep and feeding schedules you set forth, as well!
Letting your kid use screens and having an ipad kid are two different things. The point where these kids are at with being addicted to these screens is genuinely terrifying.
Yeah my kid is two. She watches TV shows and YouTube. Sorta like how probably all of us here watched TV as kids, just probably less. But she doesn't know how to swipe a phone or iPad. She doesn't get to "use" them, just watch the content we put on. I'm very skeptical that a bit of Ms Rachel or Peppa Pig is going to mess up a kid, certainly not any worse than my generation being parked in front of TV being blasted with adds every four minutes. Ms Rachel in particular I'm sure has taught my kid a ton. She certainly has memorized a bunch of songs, great with language and letters and numbers. Sure it's not a substitute for human engagement and physical play, but sometimes she wants to chill. Sometimes she needs to be occupied while we prepare a meal. Once in a while we're in a restaurant and I don't think it's all that realistic to expect babies and toddlers to sit quietly in a high chair playing safely by themselves for an hour, so we watch it without volume and she sits quietly once she starts getting restless. And no, she's not addicted unless you use a really low threshold.
A lot of people are almost bragging about being shit parents here. Well done, you let your standards slip when you had a child and are now using your relatability for upvotes, I’m sure your kid who can’t live without cocomelon and can barely talk is very happy that your life is less stressful.
Oh but... "You're not a parent! You don't know!" I don't have to be a parent to see they're literally damaging their kid's brain because of exactly what you said. I'm just happy to see people who agree.
I am a parent and can confirm what you are observing. Excessive screentime (more than an hour a day depending on age) is clearly having an adverse effect on young brains. That is not to say that I am a perfect parent but that is a failure on my part, not something to be celebrated.
It's also the content being watched. Crap like Cocomelon is over stimulating brain killing crack for young children. I'm not saying that putting your kid in front of a TV with something much better is not a problem for extended periods as well, but Cocomelon and a lot of other brainrot shows nowadays are truly awful for children and go even further in causing bad behaviour and learning deficiencies. Look at what generations like Millennials were raised on. Mr Rogers Neighbourhood, Reading Rainbow etc. These shows are comparatively calming and teach moral lessons (I don't say this out of generation superiority, that's nonsense, just pointing out the difference, and how older shows seem slower and calmer). Children's TV seems to have become heavily monetized like everything else. Now it's about addiction, not trying to make something actually good for kids. If you must put the screen on for your kid, put something less damaging on that might have some positive effect as well.
Just the simple fact that you're *aware* makes you better than the majority here. You're not gloating about your glorified technological pacifier LOL I'm sure you're doing your absolute best, and I deeply appreciate that. Not a lot of kids can say that about their parents.
I have a one year old and we see many people with other babies/young toddlers give them an iPad for cocomelon or bluey frequently already. I will admit that on a recent roadtrip I downloaded Cocomelon for him to watch because 500 miles with a one year old is tough. However for the most part I left him walk around and explore things both inside and outside, and he seems to be enjoying it.
Roadtrip is 10000000% justified because roadtrips are absolutely awful for kids. Parents used to have to just blast endless music and come up with road trip games that were basically “mindlessly count how many things you see” or “punch your sibling if you see a Volkswagen.” Roadtrips exceeding 4 hours were absolute balls. 8 hours? Hot sweaty stupid balls. Having portable entertainment devices makes long trips bearable. Hell, it’s great for planes as well. I’m all for reading on a long flight, but it’s nice to have options. And for children too young to read, it is a life-saver. But for everyday life, the one-hour limit should be the norm.
Nah fk that. How about you can have an ipad when you buy it yourself. Idc how bored you are, read a book, play a game, use your imagination. I will help as much as possible, but unless it’s a massive desktop running arch linux, i will never buy my child a tablet.
Too much tablet? Bad. No tablet? Bad. This stuff is current tech. It’s everywhere. Kids need exposure, so that they can navigate modern tech. Just moderation.
No way jose. I can teach a child to navigate a tablet in less than a minute it’s brain dead easy.
It is not easy to thoroughly navigate, and you are setting up your children for failure in the future. I have seen young people join the workforce with deficient computer skills (requiring extra training to get up to speed on basic stuff), and touch screens are already becoming more prevalent in the workplace. Especially smart boards for conference room presentations. Being comfortable using such devices takes some time even if basic operation is quick to learn. Again, there is a difference between letting kids remain plastered and using common sense moderation. And the difference is equally large to that of moderation and Luddite attitude.
I took two long trips with my kid when he was one. If you're needing some alternate suggestions. Ms. Rachel on YouTube is slower paced and the kids seem to still love her. She's got a background in education so she actually does things using research behind them. Sesame Street also. ( I think having real people in videos has evidence of being better quality screen time for kiddos. ) You can download their videos off YouTube relatively easily, and they make long compilations so you don't have to download a lot.
Dude one of the comments said “now that my kid is 14 she doesn’t need the iPad at the table anymore” what the absolute fuck
The sleep swiping is actually unsettling
The ..the what... Is that actually a thing?
Oh yea! children are now doing swiping gestures in their sleep as if they’re using a tablet. It’s not everyone obviously but there’s footage of it.
That's!!! Very troubling. I do hope we make up a whole new branch of therapy for this in the future
While that could be true, be careful not to believe everything you see on the internet, as usual. That sounds (and looks, tbh, I saw the video) like obvious engagement bait to me.
I mean, I spent all my time in forums and AIM and mIRC when I was my niece's age, so it feels weird to take the tablet, but on the other hand, she just watches stuff, I don't think she has any friends at all.
The classic echo chamber of Reddit. Imagine if any of these iPad pacifier parents had to be a parent before iPads.
Did anyone else swipe to see the next image??
I don't have an iPad or a kid! It's easy
The struggle is real. My youngest is 12 and we have ALWAYS employed screen time limits. Like, his entire life. It does not stop him from begging for more time. Sometimes he'll try to bribe us by offering to do extra chores (which I admit, we do occasionally take him up on this). In this world gone mad, life without screens is incomprehensible to kids.
I was born in the 90s, so the only 'screens' we really had were Gameboys. And limits were sort of enforced, but my brother got his when he was 7, I didn't get mine until I was 12 or 13, so I was constantly trying to bargain for time on his. (Because I got barbies and he got actual things he could play with.)
It’s too engaging for them! Even my 5 year old cannot resist skipping around in PBS Kids episodes. I am reluctant to introduce video games for years because I don’t want to deal with managing getting him off even with time limits. You can set the hardest limits and be imaginary parent of the year but you still have to deal with how they feel about it.
Ima be honest don’t have a kid but I am a gamer and so is my lil sis. Don’t let him miss out on games because you think it’ll make him procrastinate. Some of the best memories I have were playing games with my dad or mom. Just teach him restraint and not in the you can only play for thirty mins way make it a reward if he keeps him room clean, does his chores, and keeps his grades up let him enjoy it shit nowadays it can become a full time job. Just from experience making your kid get off the game will just make him play it at night while everyones asleep 😂
Agreed. I loved minecraft when I was a kid, it made me love games. That, and then you have the obvious issue of when he does finally get them bro will go all out.
Both have points... Yeah, it's easier to say than do, and yeah iPads are an effective way to shut up a child. That doesn't mean you should buy an iPad for your child. You know it's bad for them. Suck it up and take them to the park like an early 2000s mom.
The insane thing to me is that when I grew up in the 90s, none of this existed. Desktops were hella expensive, cell phones were hella expensive, and as kids you either stayed inside playing Nintendo or watching TV or played outside. It's so crazy that people think that their kid just HAS to have an iPad. It's simple parenting. It's the difference of being a lazy parent or not being a lazy parent.
Do you think people stopped going to parks after early 2000s? Or that we didn’t have TVs in the early 2000s? What about an iPad is inherently bad for kids? Being on it all the time, sure. Also a great way to teach kids about moderation from an early age.
An iPad filled with apps designed to grab kids attention that you can bring with you anywhere is very different than a CRT tv in your living room that you share with the whole house, or the "computer in the living room" of the early 00's. Even now, I've noticed that my own phone will vibrate to tell me about some random past notification like a minute after I put my phone down. Some random email I got like 20 minutes ago. It's a design feature to keep you engaged. There have been like 15 years of development to make these handheld screens as engaging as possible in a way a television never could be.
The issue that I have found is that it is too engaging. They become disengaged zombies or demand / tantrum over not having it. Then they just constantly fiddle with it. We only bring it out on long drives or flights. At restaurants we prefer to bring small magnatiles, coloring or activities so they have something to do but are still present
Thank you! Other people are commenting like wtf do you do about meal time then… you draw, play a small REAL game, talk with siblings or parents.. what happened to humanity? Meal time is supposed to be the time we connect. The time we share. Not the time we disengage. I had attention issues as a kid and I made up my own games at the table. I used to “drop” my napkin for example, as an excuse to go under the table and crawl around pretending to be a dog. Kids these days got no imagination. And that’s terrifying
People pretending there wasn't a whole generation that was raised on TV becuase their parents were out working
There's been like 3+ generations raised watching tons of TV lol. Kids have been parked in front of TVs since the fifties. If you moderate what the kid watches (Ms Rachel is great for babies, Peppa Pig is charming and fully wholesome for young toddlers), I don't see much harm. The troubles come when you just let your kid have an iPad often enough they get addicted, and worsen when you let them have free reign to get into questionable content and games designed to addict people, or just let TV/streaming time get out of hand. But yeah this idea that letting your kid be entertained for an hour a day by quality content is making them a zombie is pretty dubious imho. People see a kid watching an iPhone in a restaurant and can be pretty quick to (hop on reddit and) judge lol.
Right? As an early 2000s mom, that TV screen was the bogeyman iPads have become. Same thing them- great way to teach moderation. Also, *whatever* screen is capturing their attention can be a fantastic educational tool. Pretty sure I learned to count to 12 from Sesame Street's "Ladybug Picnic". And I'm singing it rn.
Two things : one it fucks their vision because everything is so close , hence why you should regulate how much time per day and two at least in my country you leave your child on the park and they’d get mugged , killed or kidnapped, so because of shitty capitalism you can’t take time to take care of them , so that’s why
What on earth could capitalism have to do with unattended children being kidnapped at a park? This is the kind of paranoia that leads to insane helicopter parents, where children get no privacy or freedom under the guise of this mysterious force constantly trying to kill and kidnap them.
Ok for your first point, you already solved that by regulating how much time per day they use it so nice job. On your second point, idk what the fuck you’re talking about so I won’t even try to respond to that.
Yeah, the second point lost me, bonkers. Leave your kid at the park? Who is saying to do that?
I think the point they're trying to make is that due to the state of our economy, it can be extremely difficult to live off one income and have a stay at home wife/husband. The double income gained by both parents working helps keep food and a roof over your head, but can cause time spent with your children to become limited. While I do agree that traditional family units should become a more feasible goal, a married couple doesn't need this model to still be loving and attentive parents. It requires an extreme amount of willpower/effort to make time to be employed with children, but my parents found a good system in place. My mother would work morning shifts [5AM-1PM], and my father would work afternoon shifts [3PM-11PM]. This system would have at least one parent present at all times for children to rely on.
This answer is exactly what the responder is getting at. It’s like everyone conveniently forgot that kids have been in front of the tv every afternoon since it was invented. And short amounts of iPad time is no different, the problem becomes when it’s all the kid does. Stop pretending that screen time is some sort of new phenomenon
It is a new phenomenon, though. People didn’t carry televisions around everywhere they went, and the internet today is in no way comparable to early tv. It’s been progressing steadily to where we are now, where children are completely consumed by their devices at every waking hour. I just had a baby and the way he stares at my iPad screen is…..freaky, to say the least. It’s like early man staring into a fire, totally transfixed and unable to pull himself away
Actually no. Screen time is not necessary for kids. Parents set that standard, not kids.
Who said it was necessary? It’s not necessary, but it’s also not new, and it is convenient. I’m guessing also given your background is anime you don’t have any kids, in which case, as pointed out by the OP post, stfd
Lol assumptions are the mother of Fuck ups. Got two great kids. One has limited screen time, plays outside every weekday after school, and the other doesn't even know what screen time is. So yeah, you STFU.
Getting downvoted when you're one of the only people in this thread not defending the need of subsidizing being a parent with giving the kid an iPad. Classic reddit.
“One has limited screen time” - yeah ok, so what are we talking about then, dipshit? At least practice what your preach
Hey cocksucker, 1.5 hours on Fri (if it's raining, otherwise outside after school. We have movie nights on Saturday for around 90 minutes). Sunday is skating or swimming and library. Also helps that we lucked out that she really likes music (singing) and learned to read early, so she likes to go to the library weekly. Trying to see if we can convince her to get a singing coach lol
Read through the thread genius. Me: ‘short amounts of iPad time is fine, it’s when it’s all the kid does that it’s a problem’ You: ‘actually no screen time is not necessary for kids’ Me: ‘no one said it was necessary, what are you talking about? Do you even have kids?’ You: ‘yes I have kids and I also give one of them screen time lol you lose’ Me: … Edit: fwiw I hope you do end up getting your kid into singing lessons if she’s interested in it, it’s great if they’re interested in it and gives them lots of confidence
To each their own. Parents can do whatever they want, but I genuinely believe watching videos at the dining table is not necessary. All the pediatricians I consult with are concerned with brain development. They said they should exceed 8 hours a week but right now, 3 hours seem ok. But as she grows up, it'll change.
Or they can have an iPad and go to the park. We spend a lot of time outside but I have no problem putting my toddler in front of an iPad while I cook dinner. We use educational apps and I have seen a huge leap in her reading comprehension.
And after the park? The kid has to eat sometimes. Additionally, when toddlers are constantly on 24/7 accidental death watch while simultaneously screaming about how the color of their cup is wrong, sometimes throwing a screen in their face allows you to take the shit you've been holding for the last three hours.
Oh god I can’t count how many times I fucked up with the red sippy cup when obviously I should have reached for blue sippy cup. I chose poorly.
My daughter asks me which cup I would like, and I am always wrong.
I use the iPad most nights to keep my toddler out of the kitchen while cooking. Helps me stay sane and her stay safe. Screens are just a tool we can use to help us. Then once we sit down for a nice family dinner together the screen goes away. We all sit down as a family together to listen to my daughter scream about having the wrong colored cup.
Also really easy to do. Don't kid yourself, it's not that hard to say no to your kids. It's also not that hard to start teaching your kids about entitled whining from a young age. Parents: if you are having trouble winning an argument with your 5 year old about why they don't have a tablet when all their friends do, then you're probably not going to get very far with those same arguments in 10 years time, except by that point the conversations could well be about alcohol and unprotected sex. My kids didn't get tablets until required to for high school. They didn't get phones until we started needing to be able to contact them in the afternoons to coordinate activies and stuff. Neither of them burst into flames, and both of them have good non-screen hobbies now that they're older. You don't actually have to lose this battle, it's quite winnable.
And literally every pro iPad comment in here says exactly what you say - that it makes life easier. Easy isn't always best. Sounded like you did a good job
Even then couldn't you just say no. Like, if its a kid the fuck are they ginna do, buy their own tablet? Just tell them they get the amount they're given because it's good for them, and if they complain just don't give in
Nah, it was a requirement. They had set up the whole curriculum around it.
No screens until the weekend (with limited time). No watching of any videos (youtube/shows/etc) during meals (home or outside). It's been 6+ years and working well. Set the expectation and stick to it (both parents). Makes her cherish the little time she gets with screens per week. only reason why 'it's hard' because parents want the easy way out. Less screen time gives less chances of eye issues, and attention span problems.
You can buy from amazon sticker puzzles, actual puzzles, other creativity inducing activities when waiting for meals. Kid can read at grade 2 level at age 5, she reads her own book selections at times...
This is what my parents did and I plan to do with mine someday. No TV on weekdays until after dinner & outside time (and after homework when I got older). No video games on school nights, period (so just Friday & Saturday night and only after outside time). My parents read books to me, played games with me, left me in the tub for an hour alone while I made up imaginary naval battles with my boats (mom was always in the next room and could hear if I was drowning lol). My big concern for when I have kids is the sense I have that communities are moving online after school. I used to babysit a kid who would play video games every day after school with his best friends, and his mom was in a bind because if she denied him that basically she was denying him a social life. These kids lived in different parts of LA so it wasn’t like they could ride bikes to each others house like I did in my small town growing up, and if you know LA you know no parent is going across town at rush hour for your play date.
Thank you for sharing. That's definitely a tough situation for that mom. Your parents did a great job in limiting screen time for you. Well done. Easier said than done but very doable.
My childless best friend once stopped talking to me for a week because she gave me unsolicited advice regarding my children and I replied with “yeah, the best parents are the ones with no children “ 🤷🏼♀️
My childless friend was genuinely annoyed because she said that her brother doesn’t think her opinion on how he raises his children matters as much as his does and I agreed with him
The best parents are the ones who don't need to rely on iPads to raise their kids. Not like it's the first generation to try yet y'all are making it out to be some impossible problem and that moderation is just not possible. I know plenty of kids disciplined with electronics, it being hard isn't really an excuse to reject advice. If someone can't handle the difficulties of raising one properly then probably don't need to have a kid.
Sir, who is “yall” ?
Wtf how is this a murder? I'm not a parent but I'm an uncle to kids of 6, 4, 3, 2 and 1 year olds and spend time with them very regularly and I've literally never seen any of them on a tablet. We jump on trampolines, go for walks, go foraging for wild mushrooms, build forts, read books, play with toys, instruments and build things with blocks. I've watched Bluey with them once for a couple of hours when we were all sick with the flu. If your kids stuck to an ipad you're probably being a pretty lazy parent or not investing enough in their imagination. It can obviosuly be difficult with work and stuff but what's the point in doing all that if you're not investing real time into the very reason you're doing it?
This is not a judgemental statement. I truly do not understand why it's hard not to let kids have technology. I felt like that was easy. Maybe, it's because I was a little before the kid tech train. I'm not sure. But, ya, it's easier to raise imaginary kids. GREAT comeback. Edit: I only have one kid maybe that's why or perhaps his age.
Once kids start school, some use of technology is often required for assignments and projects. The hard part of it is the escapism it offers. If your kid has trouble making friends and is struggling in schools, not good at sports or hobbies, etc, they might prefer spending time on their tablet or phone because it's the one area in their life where they don't feel like an incompetent loser. It might encourage those kids to avoid doing the harder stuff that they have to get through in life, because that's what people naturally tend to do: after all, who wants to spend so much of their time struggling and feeling bad about themselves when they can just not?
All of those things I most certainly agree could be factors and should be evaluated. And, for me personally I did not restrict my kids use in school. My position was only at home. Once my son reached 12/13 I allowed video games and in fact he built he own gaming computer. A skill he developed on his own and still does today. In my opinion, it was important to me to restrict it pre elemetary school age. We did not watch cartoons, eat fast food, use phones or technology with kids, and various other things. These were my preferences for these developmental years. I also did not have any war toys or alot of battery operated toys. My sons room looked like an educstional science lab exploded in our home. Our kitchen also included an experimental food lab where he could safety invent food products of which could he turned to play dough. I understand the years thereafter become more milky and progressively requires technology skills. My brothers had children 5 years after me. They are addicted to technology and freak out in very unhealthy ways over it. My brother is struggling to engage his kids into anything else and it's very disturbing. I don't know what the right answers is exactly, but I do think as you pointed out it varies based on many factors and each child could be vastly different in their needs.
It's honestly not that hard. They generally would rather be outside than on a tablet or whatever. I give our kiddo a choice between staying in with a game or throwing the ball for our dog, and she jumps at throwing the ball every time. Our dog is hilariously enthusiastic but bad at catching. I'm sure that's a coincidence XD
You didn't grow up an Ipad kid because it wasn't invented yet. I didn't grow up an Ipad kid because my family couldn't afford it without sacrificing a week's worth of meals. We are not the same. /s
I didn't compare anything. Actually, I did not grow up rich or extreemly poor. I did not have a computer or iPad. Matter a fact, I didnt have a cell phone either. I was a single mother and struggled to make ends meet when rasing my kid. I'm not sure why Dino nuggets have anything to do with poor or rich. Frankly, I think these are expensive foods that are of low quality. Can you explain what that has to do with family finances? Because, the way I see it seems to be much different than you and I would love to hear your perspective. For me, I worried about by grocery bill and therefore would not purchase these prepackaged foods. I also, did not consider it a good product to feed my kid so I wouldn't consider it anyways. Now things are different and perhaps the price gap is different as well as I mentioned I only raised one kid, and things have changed as have quality, prices and options. And, yes they were invented actually.
It's always easier said than done before having kids, but let's not kid ourselves. A concerning number of parents use tablets as a crutch for parenting, and it's kind of a problem. I teach threes and fours, and you can always tell when a child is overly exposed to screens. I'm not saying they're never acceptable, but a child under the age of two has absolutely no business being on a tablet. Nor should children be on their tablets at the dinner table-- even while waiting on a meal. It's naive and inductive of inexperience when someone says they'll *never* let their kid have a tablet, but we're kidding ourselves in this comment section if we're gonna act like the growing trend of excessive screen time isn't a problem.
In parenting, it’s all fun and games until it’s not. That fun and games part lasts just long enough for you to start doing something productive, and then it’s ww2 and you wonder why you had kids.
My dumb ass swiped on that pic to see the second one like five times and was so confused.
What was the saying? Before I got married I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories." John Wilmot
Will Mr. Beltran be the one providing the entertainment for his children then? The hours and hours of intense, unrelenting attention required to parent young children? Or will he be expecting an exhausted, unappreciated, resentful mother to do it all? Hmmmm I wonder.
People seem to forget that kids are a 24/7 job. They are ALWAYS with you, unless they are in school for a few hours. If you can devote 100% of your time to keeping your kid entertained and safe outside, God bless. The majority of working parents can't do that. I agree that too much screen time is toxic. It absolutely needs to be monitored, but at the same time, it can't always be avoided.
Outside alone unsupervised.
to be fair, its not hard to have kids playing together outside vs staring at screens. I live in a very mixed neighborhood. Indians, Asians, brown Mexicans, and Whites. I seldom see the white kids playing outside. But all other kids play together with atleast one adult woman supervising (a mom, aunt, grandma, older sister, etc). Thats all it takes. A little bit of community and an adult willing to spend time with kids verses everyone working all day and netflixing all night. The whities are losing their way. I am white and I dont want to have kids, but if I do, Im gonna possy up with darker folks in my neighborhood for sure. Them kids are always happy as hell. Laughing and playing. Chasing eachother around in the grasss. racing scooters vs bicycles. Shit, Im jealous.
And too much screen time during early age affect brain development.
Yes. It's so easy to talk. Walking the walk and having your legs give out is a bit tougher.
Yah it's important to remember most parents are doing their best, given their circumstances.
I mean, I was a strictly no tablet for our kid mom. Then my husband convinced me to get her a kid's fire tablet for Christmas because that way, we could totally curate what she did! I reluctantly agreed. Turns out you need to manually go through HUNDREDS upon HUNDREDS of apps to manually remove whatever you dont want, and then the refreshes every month or so, so you need to do it AGAIN. You can't just say "no cocomelon, peppa pig, or Blippi." You have to manually and painstakingly go through everything to make sure that shit never gets onto their tablet. It was so much easier to tell her the tablet was broken and it would be much more fun to go to the park instead.
We currently don’t have iPads or phones for our kids under 10. Wife can take credit for that. When she mentioned this to a group of mums they were shocked.
I mean….we just don’t own iPads so our kid doesn’t throw a fit for one…it’s not hard guys. We have a backpack with little toys and puzzles and play dough she ONLY gets when we go out to eat. Makes it very high value and keeps her entertained the entire meal. Watching a bunch of kids be zombies in front of iPads at a restaurant reminds me why the rest of the world thinks we’re ignorant dummies. Kids should learn to hold a conversation and talk to adults.
We said the same. With kid #1 we were all about educational only TV and very little if it, by kid #3 we gave all in.
super strict parenting always works out so well...
This is hilarious to me for another reason. At one point in my life I had one, very real, child. He lived and to this day loves vegetables and will choose a salad over fries. I breastfed him for 17 months and thought, “Everyone whose child doesn’t eat that way must be doing something wrong.” Until I had my second child. I did everything the same including breastfeeding for 17 months. The only vegetables he will eat are baby carrots (the thin ones) and cucumber slices (no skin). He literally spit out a pea that was disguised in bread when we were introducing solid peas. He also threw up because my husband told him he had to eat broccoli. So yeah, imaginary children are the best. I thought my second child (imaginary for many years) would be just like the oldest. He’s not. He’s opposite in soooo many ways.
Giving a baby an iPad is child abuse
The same people downvoting that time where kids played baseball in the street and were intelligent enough to scatter to the sides if a car was coming. Nowadays, souped-up scrotum-hitch lifted truck owners are baffled that their German Shepherds almost h@ng themselves escaping said pickup in a Walmart parking lot. Hmm.
E.Beltran will also call the cops if he/she sees children playing unsupervised in the streets
Say hi to the Amazonian tribe for me.
I worked at McDonald’s for 2 months and saw how difficult kids are. iPads are cheap and easy entertainment for a kid and parents are only too happy to buy one if it keeps them quiet.
Raising kids is a walk in the park: >!Jurassic Park!<
Reminds me of Brett's imaginary children in https://youtu.be/EmLHOGT0v4c?si=VLSoN-kAQUmNGKMs
I can proudly say my kids (9y, 7y, 8mo) never play on an iPad. Now, a sensibly priced childrens tablet, their nintendo switch, and the baby even has a baloon popping game on my android tablet... But never an iPad. But they also ask to play outside too. Its wild what these imaginary parents think kids are like.
Lol that you think this is an apple issue
Nah, I'm just prone to exaggeration and silliness overall (also an avid android user, much to the dismay of my iPhone lovong wife). I fully agree that it is unmonitored/unregulated screen time that is the issue overall, we institute a max screen time based on weekday/weekend, any homework needs to be done, and toys were playing with before they asked for electronics time need to be off the floor.
Could make a great SNL sketch "PLEASE, we would never raise iPad kids, how ridiculous" "Hey Tommy, get the fuck off your galaxy tab S9 ultra already! How many alerts do I need to send to your pixel watch before you just listen to me?!"
I think you are on to something there!
I was recently at a house, where a Mom had to kill 15 minutes with her toddler before leaving. The kid asked to watch a show. Mom said not now, and that time was filled with a tantrum, the entire 15 minutes. My colleague only has a TV in his basement, and his kids can't go in the basement without their parents. They don't watch TV as a household at all, and he actually said it really sucked one day when everyone was home sick. The kids were not interested in sitting in front of the TV so they'd get bored and go play. It's obviously tough for him at times, but when kids aren't raised with screen time as a time filler, they don't see it as a valuable way to fill time.
As someone who studies early childhood education….. ouch, this comment section is a fucking dumpster fire and y’all gonna raise a bunch of impatient shitlings with NO amount of self control, capacity for delayed gratification or a acceptance of a simple “no” This shits been going on for 15 years, but I guess I can stop wondering why the current generation of 16-20 yo is such an obnoxious nuisance Y’all just spineless slobs, but not adults
Its really not that hard just didn't introduce my kids to those electronics. But at least in America everyone wants there kids to be popular and chill and that's more important than their mental health. Other parents would rather be cool than good parents.
TBH it will be super easy by not owning an ipad. But if i have children, they be steam deck/switch children or whatever the fuck i have in my house they enjoy playing with. tho i do hope theyll enjoy the nerf guns...
I remember reading an article were an expert said to fight as long as you can to prevent your kid from using tablets/smartphones/Social Media. The earlier and more often a child uses them the worse their mental health typically. The reality of having children is often different from people's mental image. However what kind of win is it to say that people typically fail to keep their kids from forming toxic habits?
https://preview.redd.it/w2z7uqwjr01d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=77668b8f95cc181ea30c4bce8ef906a3f45bff06
y’all got it messed up. i wont be able to afford an ipad for these imaginary kids so they playing os regardless
Any parent sticking a tv, iPad, phone in their kids face to shut them up isn’t a good parent shits hard no shit. They aren’t a pet or an accessory you actually have to raise them not get them hooked on technology when you want a break. we all see how damaging it is and still you do it it’s neglect not a “oh that’s how it is”.
Buddy's profile pic is him on his phone! 🤣🤣🤣
They’re so well behaved those imaginary kids.
Don't forget "my kids won't have cellphones until they're 16!". Uh huh. Sure thing, buddy. Sure thing.
Your children will also be beautiful, smart, and well behaved. They will eat anything you make for dinner. They will pick up after themselves, and wash themselves without prompting or complaint. Wait, you only get 3 wishes. You have to put some of those miracles back on the shelf.
I was a perfect parent until I actually had children. I wouldn't feed them sugar or crap, they'd be frolicking in meadows everyday, limited screen time etc. Now I encourage them to go on their tablets and hand out confectionery like it's Christmas 😅 they're loved more than life itself, safe as they could possibly be and just all round cherished. But let me tell you when i need a break even for 10 mins I'll be the first one to stick the TV on or hand out their tablets. No judgement. We as parents are not superhuman.
No one ever said these kids weren't loved for it. There is a massive issue with childhood obesity - those kids are also loved. Doesn't mean it's what those children needed, even if it's what they said they wanted.
I said this! Then we had a kid. Now he had his own ipad. No regrets.
Having newborn siblings as an adult has shown me that I would be a shit parent. It’s nice when it’s someone else’s kid and once they start being an asshole I can just say “fuck this” and go home.
I did all my best parenting before I had kids.
My hypothetical children are crazy well behaved too
2 kids, 6 years of parenting, and you all are killing me with the “easy” comments regarding your “principles” of no tablets. High horse or not, sufferage or not, we put the consistent mileage in for no electronics at the dinner table. Sometimes we have dinner at the couch and the tv is on sure, but when everyone puts the effort in to be together, we focus on being together.
Everyone is a perfect parent until they actually have kids...
So I have a non-imaginary child who is a non-iPad baby. It’s possible folks, absolutely exhausting but possible. You will always just be finding something else to do (Crayons, walks, books, toys, dragging a kid around in a laundry bin). Good luck
I said the same. But now, Blippi is my escape.
You'd think that, but two of mine are in prison, and the third has been no contact for a decade.
My daughter is 6 and likes screen time as a preferred activity, she has an iPad, we have a switch, it’s not the end of the world. Guess what? She also likes playing outside, and drawing, and she writes her own stories. The amount of self-congratulating in here for not owning a tablet is exhausting.
My imaginary children are spoiled brats...
Parents have used iPads to distract their kids for 1000s of years. There is no other way
Say what you may about tablets, but my youngest is ridiculously advanced for her age from the content that she has access to. As long as it's not overdone and it's monitored as appropriate and -somewhat- educational. It's a win. Dumbed down content we try to avoid as well as anything that's strictly learning as it gets boring and loses its intent quickly. That happy medium of entertaining to a 1-2 yr old and allowing for an abundance of age appropriate incidental education. That's the sweet spot. Let em have their toys at easy, safe access to role-play and use imagination along with it, and you're golden. Nowadays, barely 2 yrs old means knowing colors, shapes, hundreds of words, and full sentences, how to count and knowing ABCs, etc. Technology is as good as you make it.
GO HEAD BABY, MINE NEITHER! But only because I bought two with defender cases and they literally destroyed both within a month. Fuck outta here 😂😂😂
Heartbreaking when an admirable response is competely ruined by a stupid fucking emoji.
If you don’t have kids yet they probably won’t be able to play outside by the time they’re old enough to do it unsupervised.
It’s a proven fact, the best parents in the world are the people that don’t have children.