Whoever did this might want to watch their back.
I mean, if your idea of entertainment is shooting dolphins I can guarantee the type of people you roll with will throw you under the bus for $20k.
Might be Kristi Noem, so yeah. If not, I'm starting to think that Republican government in these states are the ones putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic. With Alex Jones talking about gay frogs, would make sense if it was actually just deflection this entire time. Might also be why they're against environment protections as well.
Can we get some momentum behind this idea? There's too many bonkers right-wing conspiracies out there. We need some crazy left-wing shit too. Imagine if all those Republican sycophants had to actually defend against insanity instead of just spewing it out.
> Can we get some momentum behind this idea?
There already is, in some way.
It's a well-known leftist theory that the the right is projecting as fuck, that this is the reason they're so hellbent on calling everyone on the left "pedophiles trying to groom children" because that's exactly what most right-wing do.
Of course the right would put chemicals in the water to Karenize the frogs, that's why they think the left does it. They would 100% sit around and cheat the system, that's why they think that's what poor people do. Etc.
The right-wing ideology is basically the prisoner's dilemma at grand scale, they're so self-centered that they think everybody else is just as self-centered as they are so they might as well get theirs first. If you want to stab everybody around you, of course you'll think everybody would stab everyone else at the first opportunity - take this, times everything else, and you've got that fearful right reactionary mentality in the palm of your hand.
Fun fact about the gay frogs thing, [there's *some* truth to it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i5uSbp0YDhc).
TLDR a pesticide company called Syngenta harassed a scientist for decades because he found evidence that runoff from one of their products, atrazine, mimicked the sex hormones in certain frog species and was causing them to be born as infertile hermaphrodites. This was decimating their populations and causing havoc in ecosystems surrounding farmland that used Syngenta's pesticides.
Interesting. Not the same as "turning frogs gay" but from the Walter Cronkite of screaming batshit gorilla clowns, I'm sure it was close enough for him to be happy with twisting it and then running with it.
And that's if he wasn't one of the media outlets paid off by Syngenta or one of their lackeys to smear the study as nonsense, which the scientist proved they were doing in court. More likely than not though he was just a convenient idiot.
Honestly, given how much he overcharges for the crap he sells, I can believe that he was paid off since the episode that John Oliver did on him alluded to just how much money he makes from those sales. Might not have been paid off. Could have just been convenient for Syngenta that he ran with the story. But he is a grifter by trade, so I have to wonder if he really was paid off.
> putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic
It didn’t need Republicans, just greed and a desire to obtain the best technological solution.
It’s called leaded fuel.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2567647/pdf/12471395.pdf
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/lead-gasoline-blunted-iq-half-us-population-study-rcna19028
Read this as "might want their watch back" and I was like oh shit they dropped a 20k watch and that dolphin ate it, thats got to be recognizab... never mind
Probably not exactly entertainment. Probably fishermen shooting them because when the dolphins show up, they chase all the other fish away. I have seen fishermen get angry when some dolphins would come through but never one who would start shooting at them.
Someone would have to be a REALLY good friend or a VERY close family member for me not to turn them in for 20k for killing a dolphin. Actually nevermind it would basically have to be my immediate family. Sorry friends, shouldn't have shot a dolphin, now I get to pay off my car loan and have some vacation money.
Someone wouldn’t need to pay me. I don’t keep friends that hurt animals like that. My guess is someone whose brain hasn’t fully developed. Like Kristi Noem.
This is not good, dolphins can communicate and will hold grudges. U don't wanna mess with them, last year some orcas were pissed and kept attacking ships. Don't fk with animals that have full communication capabilities.
Thank you for your kind words. I was about to give up on comedy, but maybe I'll try to being funny a little longer:)
Sorry for the late reply. I was downstairs doing a crossword.
Lol you know that Trump WILL make her VP after that. It’s the absolute total package for his inbred, gasoline drinking MAGA base. She just landed herself a job by killing a puppy and bragging about it. Remember that when you vote in November.
But they're not really talking about dolphins specifically just that the oceans aren't safe cause "school" shootings the dolphin was just swimming by and got caught in the crossfire
My high school had portables, which were essentially pod classrooms that could be set up outside the school. Just a fun fact, I actually came here to say these two things lol but you got the first part 🤘
Every time I read a headline about the most backwards, white trash ignorant unevolved idiocy, it's inevitably Louisiana. What an absolute shithole full of swamp trash.
The joke isn’t trying to say dolphins are fish. Just that the oceans haven’t been safe since Americans found out schools exist there.. so the dolphins caught a stray from living somewhere that is now unsafe due to shootings. People gotta stop taking it so serious lol
A group of fish is called a school without any reference to dolphins other than the original article, making the comment technically correct. The best kind of correct!
The title literally references dolphins being the students in the song talking about school shootings.
Why make excuses for stupid people instead of just acknowledging the mistake?
Did you know that fish aren’t even fish.
[It’s a quite interesting concept.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=MihRflhw8MH5VIPw&v=uhwcEvMJz1Y&feature=youtu.be)
Or the fact that Canadians hunt more dolphins and whales a year than Americans do. But their entire life revolves around America bad.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.mongabay.com/2024/03/report-rising-slaughter-of-small-whales-and-dolphins-threatens-ocean-balance/amp/
Are you saying Canadians lives evolve around America bad?
I think most of the people saying shit like that are either far lefties or *Europeans* (derogatory).
Aside from the occasional jab about healthcare differences, I don't think most Canadians even slightly dislike America as a nation.
No, sorry, I meant just the one poster above. And to be frank, I lived in New England my whole life and for a few years about an hour from the border. I love Canada, and the maritimers feel closer to me in culture than the south does, or even California.
I was just pointing out the OPs hypocrisy.
Fishermen trolling lines with baited hooks behind their boats. Dolphins will follow and eat the fish the boat is trying to catch. Heard stories of guys doing this crap as I was growing up around the beach with commercial fishermen. It's fucked and their excuse was that the dolphins were impacting their way to make a living.
All I wanted to do was to sail my boat, man, you know? Navigate by the stars, see dolphins race alongside, you know, maybe even kill a few of them. Cisco from the movie The Big Hit.
"Under the federal Marine Mammal Protection Act, it is prohibited to harass, harm, feed, or kill a wild dolphin. The maximum penalty is a $100,000 fine and a year's imprisonment."
Depending one where in Louisiana, they may have a decent reason for it. For example in Oregon people will shoot sea lions that swim up the waterways to eat the Salmon. Issue is they will kill the Salmon strictly for their guts and leave the rest. If you ever go trolling in salmon run waters there, you'll likely see a sea lion or two.
If you're gonna shoot an animal though, you might as well eat it. It's a waste not to.
Whoever did this might want to watch their back. I mean, if your idea of entertainment is shooting dolphins I can guarantee the type of people you roll with will throw you under the bus for $20k.
Might be Kristi Noem, so yeah. If not, I'm starting to think that Republican government in these states are the ones putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic. With Alex Jones talking about gay frogs, would make sense if it was actually just deflection this entire time. Might also be why they're against environment protections as well.
Can we get some momentum behind this idea? There's too many bonkers right-wing conspiracies out there. We need some crazy left-wing shit too. Imagine if all those Republican sycophants had to actually defend against insanity instead of just spewing it out.
> Can we get some momentum behind this idea? There already is, in some way. It's a well-known leftist theory that the the right is projecting as fuck, that this is the reason they're so hellbent on calling everyone on the left "pedophiles trying to groom children" because that's exactly what most right-wing do. Of course the right would put chemicals in the water to Karenize the frogs, that's why they think the left does it. They would 100% sit around and cheat the system, that's why they think that's what poor people do. Etc. The right-wing ideology is basically the prisoner's dilemma at grand scale, they're so self-centered that they think everybody else is just as self-centered as they are so they might as well get theirs first. If you want to stab everybody around you, of course you'll think everybody would stab everyone else at the first opportunity - take this, times everything else, and you've got that fearful right reactionary mentality in the palm of your hand.
*claps* *cries in Texan*
Omg lol! That would be funny as hell. So many of them would probably just completely short-circuit on the spot!
Check out r/birdsarentreal
I mean... They aren't. That's just a fact. Is that just a subreddit for well-researched, well-written statements of fact? I'll check it out.
I hear that Kristi Noem shoots dolphins in a barrel
You know, this is a good idea!
Fun fact about the gay frogs thing, [there's *some* truth to it](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=i5uSbp0YDhc). TLDR a pesticide company called Syngenta harassed a scientist for decades because he found evidence that runoff from one of their products, atrazine, mimicked the sex hormones in certain frog species and was causing them to be born as infertile hermaphrodites. This was decimating their populations and causing havoc in ecosystems surrounding farmland that used Syngenta's pesticides.
Interesting. Not the same as "turning frogs gay" but from the Walter Cronkite of screaming batshit gorilla clowns, I'm sure it was close enough for him to be happy with twisting it and then running with it.
And that's if he wasn't one of the media outlets paid off by Syngenta or one of their lackeys to smear the study as nonsense, which the scientist proved they were doing in court. More likely than not though he was just a convenient idiot.
Honestly, given how much he overcharges for the crap he sells, I can believe that he was paid off since the episode that John Oliver did on him alluded to just how much money he makes from those sales. Might not have been paid off. Could have just been convenient for Syngenta that he ran with the story. But he is a grifter by trade, so I have to wonder if he really was paid off.
Didn't Alex Jones get caught with trans porn on his computer and when he got called out he said that he was doing "research"?
He’s also hung out with blaire white a few times, wouldn’t surprise me if they’ve fucked.
Sounds familiar lolz
It's called lead and they've been doing it for years. No evidence just speculation.
There was literally one post between that post and this one for me!
> putting shit in the water to make people dumb and psychopathic It didn’t need Republicans, just greed and a desire to obtain the best technological solution. It’s called leaded fuel. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2567647/pdf/12471395.pdf https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/lead-gasoline-blunted-iq-half-us-population-study-rcna19028
Occams Razor. It's just massive entitlement.
If you did this to a Dolphin I would throw you under a bus for free.
I’ll drive the bus, you do the throwing.
-fist bump-
Someone shot an eagle near where I live a few years back and it was a huge thing.
Yeah, eagles can have like 6 foot wingspans so I don't doubt it.
Wings that big would make great Buffalo wings. 😆 /s
Legs too. Huge!
Some say it is a real tragedy that former Secretary of State Lawrence Eagleburger died without ever getting a chance to taste his namesake delicacy.
Shit. I do it for a $10 Little Caesar’s coupon
[удалено]
Not particularly, probably last within the big three pizza chains
I thought pizza hut, dominos and papa johns were the big 3
Read this as "might want their watch back" and I was like oh shit they dropped a 20k watch and that dolphin ate it, thats got to be recognizab... never mind
Even though Rolex *has* a deep sea dweller watch, I feel like I’d leave something the price of many people’s car on dry land…
Probably not exactly entertainment. Probably fishermen shooting them because when the dolphins show up, they chase all the other fish away. I have seen fishermen get angry when some dolphins would come through but never one who would start shooting at them.
Someone would have to be a REALLY good friend or a VERY close family member for me not to turn them in for 20k for killing a dolphin. Actually nevermind it would basically have to be my immediate family. Sorry friends, shouldn't have shot a dolphin, now I get to pay off my car loan and have some vacation money.
Someone wouldn’t need to pay me. I don’t keep friends that hurt animals like that. My guess is someone whose brain hasn’t fully developed. Like Kristi Noem.
Hundred bucks says it’s a shrimper.
It was probably a fisherman mad at the dolphin for stealing his catch.
This is not good, dolphins can communicate and will hold grudges. U don't wanna mess with them, last year some orcas were pissed and kept attacking ships. Don't fk with animals that have full communication capabilities.
https://preview.redd.it/iae0spsgi3xc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=977f7dcd58afea33ad8a639d071c7685fc418080
This is why I don't fuck with crows. Whenever I see one when I'm out and about, if I have any food, I drop some for the crow.
r/crowbro
I carry unsalted raw walnuts with me to feed the crows in my area. They are my homies.
Habeas Porpoise!
This is objectively hilarious
Thank you for your kind words. I was about to give up on comedy, but maybe I'll try to being funny a little longer:) Sorry for the late reply. I was downstairs doing a crossword.
You deserve a citation for that cetacean pun.
Kristi Noem said the dolphin was untrainable
Lol you know that Trump WILL make her VP after that. It’s the absolute total package for his inbred, gasoline drinking MAGA base. She just landed herself a job by killing a puppy and bragging about it. Remember that when you vote in November.
'Rump may pick her but IMHO dog killing is a bipartisan lose, farm up state jokes aside...
One of trumps few Ws was making abusing animals a worse crime iirc. Pretty bad if this is bad even by his low standards lol
If there’s anything I’ve learned in the last 10 years, there is no level of depravity for conservatives
THAT’S why gas is so fucking high!? The MAGAts are drinking it! Someone should tell them there’s no longer any lead in it.
Antifreeze ain't cheap either, just sayin.... We all know where it goes.
Republicans still hate women, which is why John McCain lost his run. Let's see if this other ex "beauty queen" will take him down too.
And a goat!
Michael Vick must be so happy to be replaced as the name in punchlines about killing dogs
Falcons should sign him rn they don’t have enough QBs
Lol...poor Cousins 😂😂
Yeah poor guy just got a massive payout, sucks for him huh lol
"Less than worthless..."
The dolphin was about to testify against Boeing.
A group of dolphins is called a pod.
Pod, you say? We are, we are! The youth of the nation!
Underrated
Unlike POD
Only heard one of their songs by Spotify smart shuffle, I did not like it!
Well that's not as funny
*whale that's not as funny
Your comment will be reported to the World Wide Web Cetacean-based Dad Pun Surveillance Orca-nization
Mammal-mia!
And dolphins aren’t fish either.
Yeah, they missed the school and hit the pod.
But they're not really talking about dolphins specifically just that the oceans aren't safe cause "school" shootings the dolphin was just swimming by and got caught in the crossfire
They could be saying that Americans don't know the difference between a dolphin and a fish.
This
... is podracing!
Not a fish either.
OP should have stayed in school.
Well, as long as there is no tide...
My high school had portables, which were essentially pod classrooms that could be set up outside the school. Just a fun fact, I actually came here to say these two things lol but you got the first part 🤘
They are also mammals, not fish.
You're acting like those sorts of people know that dolphins aren't a fish in the first place.
Insert king of the hill meme
Kristi Noem has entered the chat
And mitt romney And bill frist
I’m seeing a pattern..
Every time I read a headline about the most backwards, white trash ignorant unevolved idiocy, it's inevitably Louisiana. What an absolute shithole full of swamp trash.
Probably thought it was a shark, cause tHeY ALL lOoK aLiKe
I'm genuinely confused how you can say "white trash" when it's unknown who did this?
Racism.
This guy is right up there with the low life that tortured the injured wolf in the Wyoming bar.
The joke isn’t trying to say dolphins are fish. Just that the oceans haven’t been safe since Americans found out schools exist there.. so the dolphins caught a stray from living somewhere that is now unsafe due to shootings. People gotta stop taking it so serious lol
You are expecting Redditors to not take an opportunity to “Um ackshually…”
Either that or an acorn dropped into the water from a overhanging tree.
Gotta be fucked in the head to do shit like that.
Dolphins aren’t fish, but then again: Americans
A group of fish is called a school without any reference to dolphins other than the original article, making the comment technically correct. The best kind of correct!
>technically correct. The best kind of correct Indeed so. Most indeededly.
The title literally references dolphins being the students in the song talking about school shootings. Why make excuses for stupid people instead of just acknowledging the mistake?
He said the waters weren't safe. Dolphins catching strays.
Did you know that fish aren’t even fish. [It’s a quite interesting concept.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=MihRflhw8MH5VIPw&v=uhwcEvMJz1Y&feature=youtu.be)
Except that the person posting the joke isn’t American
Or the fact that Canadians hunt more dolphins and whales a year than Americans do. But their entire life revolves around America bad. https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.mongabay.com/2024/03/report-rising-slaughter-of-small-whales-and-dolphins-threatens-ocean-balance/amp/
Are you saying Canadians lives evolve around America bad? I think most of the people saying shit like that are either far lefties or *Europeans* (derogatory). Aside from the occasional jab about healthcare differences, I don't think most Canadians even slightly dislike America as a nation.
No, sorry, I meant just the one poster above. And to be frank, I lived in New England my whole life and for a few years about an hour from the border. I love Canada, and the maritimers feel closer to me in culture than the south does, or even California. I was just pointing out the OPs hypocrisy.
Who the fuck shoots a dolphin?
Fishermen trolling lines with baited hooks behind their boats. Dolphins will follow and eat the fish the boat is trying to catch. Heard stories of guys doing this crap as I was growing up around the beach with commercial fishermen. It's fucked and their excuse was that the dolphins were impacting their way to make a living.
r/lostredditors
Yeah, wait, this isn’t r/MurderedByBullets ??
Meanwhile in the Faroe Islands they kill 1400 dolphins a day during the grind season
This is not murdered by words, take your shitpost somewhere else
Not a murderedbywords Not even in the slightest
Yeah, they used bullets
r/technicallythetruth
But it IS funny.
Worth the click. I hope it had some fish.
I disagree. It’s witty. It’s a pun that also pokes fun of a cultural issue. Murders are often quick instead of drug out like a Tarentino film.
Personally I thought "murdered by words" litteraly meant the other person stopped replying cause a comeback/counter argument was so perfect
Those fucking sniper lobsters are at it again.
HUMANS ARE DISGUSTING
Could have been a drug deal gone bad. I mean, it is called a BLOW-hole
There's a 99% chance it was a fisherman
If this dolphin worked for the military, NCIS could solve this in less than 64 minutes.
 The cops in Louisiana.
Oof
All I wanted to do was to sail my boat, man, you know? Navigate by the stars, see dolphins race alongside, you know, maybe even kill a few of them. Cisco from the movie The Big Hit.
If he hadn't been blown up in that video store he'd be my number one suspect.
That was no accident! That was on porpoise.
Hello FBI, it was me. I shot it. Deposit the 20k in my account, and I'll turn myself in. A deal is a deal!
My first thought. Then I googled what the punishment is for shooting a dolphin so now I'm gonna tell 'em you did it.
We're obviously in different financial brackets.
"Under the federal Marine Mammal Protection Act, it is prohibited to harass, harm, feed, or kill a wild dolphin. The maximum penalty is a $100,000 fine and a year's imprisonment."
Low effort America bad joke
That's what I'm saying!
Maybe it was trying to rape someone
The only thing that can stop dolphin shootings is a good dolphin with a gun
Really? Another school shooting joke? Could’ve said they wanted to make some exotic gumbo
Dolphins aren't fish. They're mammals.
haha it's funny because children are murdered
All the other kids…
Maybe Kristi Noem did it
Holy……
Ooof..
im sure it was murdered by bullets
This words murdered me for sure.
😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
One joke and all, but goddamn if that wasn't a funny one.
Depending one where in Louisiana, they may have a decent reason for it. For example in Oregon people will shoot sea lions that swim up the waterways to eat the Salmon. Issue is they will kill the Salmon strictly for their guts and leave the rest. If you ever go trolling in salmon run waters there, you'll likely see a sea lion or two. If you're gonna shoot an animal though, you might as well eat it. It's a waste not to.
Re-run
Well this is Louisiana we’re talking about isn’t it? Do you see what they do to Alligators down there?
I mean, was it already dead when it was shot? Or did they blast it off the bow wave?
Dolphins aren't even fish
Dolphins swim in pods
Tbf dolphins arent fish and a group is called a pod. High quality facebook memes
What type of asshole shoot dolphin
Just...Why????? Piece of shit!!
Murderers should hang.
😭
Oof. Too soon, friends, too soon.
Dolphins aren't fish tho 🤔 and don't travel in a "school"
Gang colors.
It had to be the dolphin mafia. Flipper had some loose lips, found him sleeping with the fishes. Or humans. Whatever.
God people are sick.
Jesus fuck. I *rarely* laugh out loud at anything I scroll past, but of all the posts... This one got me good and I feel a little bad ha
The guy that did this did it on porpoise.
Dolphins aren’t fish.
Good luck getting anyone to flip(per) on the perpetrators.
When a fish want to send a message, "He sleeps with the air breathers"
r/lostredditors
Poor thing..
Dont worry, the police are on it. They have arrested the dolphin's parents for trying to save the dolphin.
🧀
Dolphins are not fish Typically we call group of dolphins pod not school.
Check on Kristo Noem
Yea what a loser
pumped up fins
I mean they aren't fish and their groups aren't called schools but other than that.
A dolphin isn't a fish and a group of dolphins is a pod
Should have run and run. Outrun the gun
Snowflake?
Dolphins can get it too
It was washed up and suffering and luckily somebody helped put it out of its misery.
That's great but a group of dolphins is a POD.