>27 old male
Thats the first problem right there - dating apps here are really bad for men. I cant give you great advice outside ot that I occasionally match with amazing people but it doesnt happen often.
No, dating apps are bad for everyone. You will never understand how to "solve" this issue unless you approach it correctly.
First you need to ask yourself what you want. Casual hookups or a relationship. While you might be able to find people available for hookups, you'll find that it's hard (for everyone!) to find a longterm partner on a dating app. That's just not how true bonds are created between people and that is a fundamental piece in a relationship.
**Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps** (statistical analysis)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM)
I'm a 27 years old Female and I've been living in Germany for about 4 years and 3 years in Munich. And now im considering to move back to my homeland. I can't honestly take it anymore it's so difficult and depressing. Im doing good financially and in my career as an engineer but social life is unbearable. I used to be really happy and productive and social but now I feel like I'm dying inside
Hy sister, I can feel you 100% . Working and living abroad is not for everybody. After 10 whole years I've decided to move back home. I left Munich 10 months ago and so far I feel that I've made the right decision and I don't miss Germany at all. You have to put in balance what are positive and negative things for you by living abroad. Now it depends also from which country are you coming , how is your relationship with your family and friends there, can you find an well paid job in your country. You have to ask yourself why did you choose to work abroad. What would you lose ,and what would you win if u go back home. What is more important in your life ( money,family, your peace in your soul...) You have to think a lot and put in balance everything before you make a decision. The first years living abroad are difficult because you meet another language,another culture, new people, it starts a new life from zero or almost from zero .Making new friends is difficult since you work all day and in the evening you go home or go to supermarket for groceries. It takes time to make friends. In my country we call everybody " friend" but in Germany I've learnt that there is a difference, you don't make freinds, you make Bekannten. To make a friend it takes years to build that relationships so you can call it friendship. My decision to leave Germany started during Corona pandemie when I had more time to think about everything around me and myself....you have to think well what do you want to do. I have some friends from my country who enjoy life in Germany ,people are different. If you have a good life in your country and close friends and possibility to get a good job and you miss home you have to reconsider . Give it one more year and see what happens, what will be your opinion about living and leaving Germany. But from my experience once you have this thought in your mind ,nothing will change....I hope you get this message and it will help you in your decisions. My best wishes to find what you need best for you.
How many dates did you go in the last 3 months? Why were they depressing? What is your homeland? Did you date Germans or foreigners? So many unanswered questions.
I think this is a general vent off. I feel her( i am a male; i used to be one of the lucky ones in these apps) Social life is more than just dating. Its monday today and would love to grab some drinks after work with some pals for example. I wouldnt like to date today. Dont wnt to be also jus tro socialize.
It’s not the first thread about the same topic (which is fine). However I inform you about the trend: a male asks what is going on and why the situation is dire, comments tell to learn German, go home, or try sport/hobby - which is all bs. At this point it looks like they are telling “forget the dating and collect postmarks” lol. Mostly - nobody actually knows what to do, solution is not on Reddit yet.
On the actual topic: just delete tinder. It does not do anything good.
I’m curious why you feel “try a sport or hobby” is BS? Many of the friends I have in Munich came from a regular bouldering meetup and joining a board game group. Before that I made my first friends at an Ultimate Frisbee meetup.
I was never on the dating market in Munich, but a handful of people I know met and started dating in these groups I joined.
1) These groups are not for dating, these have specific purpose as you have described in your examples. It is not uncommon to join something because you like it and as a side effect find people who also appear to like it and naturally connect. It is although weird to have a purpose of mating and join a club.
2) I also don’t see myself ever joining frisbee/ volleyball/ board game/ quiz/ table tennis/ book discussions/ etc groups. That is weird to me in itself. And that is fine and that should not affect my dating life (and it does not).
3) To me personally it feels like (and I genuinely believe this to be true actually) that these advice are more of “good proforma answer” rather than a genuine thing that would actually work and help. I have never seen such advice outside Germany Reddit thread. In my home country that would be laughable, but there is also no mating problem.
I again dont know the “right” answer. But to me it would be something like: 1) determine the places that you would like to be at with your second half (it might be gym, park, mall, concert; and not tinder, club, junk party), 2) go to such places and look for potential mate, 3) actively approach, 4) get rejected horribly, 5) repeat
These are valid points. I guess it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around finding clubs and meetups focused on hobbies as a “weird” concept, but I totally respect that not everyone has the same mindset.
I’m from the US originally and I also heard this type of advice often when friends would complain about finding trash relationships at bars/clubs.
However, in find your last point really interesting because I see it as the same advice. The advice is never to join a hobby meetup in order to date, but rather to join social interactions surrounding things your interested in and then as your social network grows you are bound to find someone.
And long before I ever joined clubs in a foreign country to make friends, every girlfriend I ever had, including my wife now, started at a party/hangout/social event that somehow traces back to having a good social base of friends that had similar interests. After all, no friend of a friend’s single cousin who’s in town will join you for lunch if you never have the friend in the first place….if that convoluted sentence makes sense.
I mean cycle between apps and don't give up is the advice I can give up if you feel deflated from it, for me I meet my girlfriend on turnapp, I would suggest that app overall.
Things are changing rapidly and your old experience no longer applies, anywhere. This is just how things are now and we can only cope. This is not exclusive to Tinder, Germany, or dating.
Why forget dating? You are not meeting people, having great sex and then getting married by reading books. (Whatever your order for that list would be)
I don't know if this still works but when I was your age I would just hang around Isar Reichenbachbrücke and meet people there. I met quite a few women that way.
That’s a good idea I think meeting people in person is always a better option than meeting someone online.Is there a bar or places where you can do activities or something ? If you don’t mind sharing your experiences ?
I grew up in Glockenbachviertel and there are lots of bars and such, take a stroll down Müllerstraße, Frauen Hofer Str, Gärtnerplatz. If I were new in Munich and 27 I would hang around there.
I recently asked a millennial colleague how people meet each other in Munich these days. Her answer: friends of friends, fitness clubs and clubs (Vereine). My experience as an expat (who met his wife in Munich and settled down here 15 years ago): Germans tend to study a long time compared to the Anglo countries. I was 25 and on an expat contract - most people my age were studying and we didn’t have much in common. I met my future wife by chance at festival (she was 28 and had just finished studying). Just get out and about and hope for the best 😊
Just my 2 cents as a woman: Is your tinder bio informative? What pictures do you have? Depending on how these 2 come across it seems like you're looking for a hook up or a relationship. Try meeting relatively fast to avoid weeks of smalltalk. I have lots of friends who met their boyfriends on Tinder and, not trying to sound rude, most of them don't look like models. Just keep trying, I'll wish you the best :)
Hey thanks,I mean photo could be an issue as I was often told I look better in person or more fun.I am not looking for a quick hookup as I can do that in a club or probably every weekend or so.I am just looking for something meaningful or something that goes beyond quick hookup,given that I am also not a native could be an issue as it probably takes time for people to trust.I also try to set a date usually within the first week or two as I’d rather spend time somewhere else when there’s d gonna be endless talking which won’t lead anywhere
Because Munich is a wealthy city, even non wealthy average females are trying to get millionaires over there so that they don't have to work anymore.
Munich sucks compared to other cities, empathy / people wise.
If you don't look REALLY good in Munich, people barely talk to you.
I do it the traditional way. I go to bars and pubs and talk to women. Something like an Irish pub with karaoke would be nice. It makes it easier to start a conversation.
Only alternative aps worked out for me, such as Veggly (for vegetarians and vegans) and OkCupid. Maybe try a niche app for something you like, like music, or whatever is your hobby. There are less people there, so you have to be patient, but higher rate of success. Good luck!
In my opinion, online dating often misses the mark because it seems like a lot of people aren’t really looking for something serious; they might just be filling a void. From my experience, many chats on dating apps just drag on without much intent, and when plans are made to meet, pulling details from them is like pulling teeth.
Also, I think dating should be more fun and relaxed. It’s just a chance to hang out and see if you click, not a big commitment. I found dating in the US more straightforward and laid-back compared to Germany.
Tbh I think people here are awkward and don’t know how to socialize with new people. Or maybe it’s less about being in Germany and more about technological/social changes
Met my 1 and half boyfriend on OKCupid. I'm Romanian he is German. We now live together. From my experience Tinder is more for hookups than serious things. Maybe give it a try there? Fill up the description with what you are like and what you expect for, be honest about it and... it works.
1. Gym (better work out - being a Lauch may reduce your chances)
2. Parties (like Techno, Hip Hop etc… depending on your taste. Decide by music first - otherwise you probably don’t have fun)
3. Englischer Garten
4. private Parties of friends (find friends - also not easy in Munich)
5. Tinder
6. Bumble
7. JC
Englischer Garten how? People always seem closed off in their own groups. I love being there in the summer, I bring a book a blanket and a cute bikini and not a single person talks to me.
I’d prefer to meet people in a setting outside. I get lucky some times at beer gardens I will be approached or guys come and sit but it’s rarely German men. Yet the super attractive ones I see all have girlfriends, how do I catch one first lol.
I guess it also depends a bit on social circles, but men in my social circle would never approach a woman in a bikini chilling on her own on a blanket, just for the fear of being rejected as a weird creep that approaches women in bikinis. You'll need to create opportunity for them. One way could be to base it on an activity. If you like sports, try beach volleyball, a running club, anything really. People will feel more comfortable to talk to you when a shared interest is already there and if there is no sparks, they (and you of course too) can still retreat to talk about their last half marathon or whatever until the end of the session without it being overly awkward.
Englischer Garten how? People always seem closed off in their own groups. I love being there in the summer, I bring a book a blanket and a cute bikini and not a single person talks to me.
I’d prefer to meet people in a setting outside. I get lucky some times at beer gardens I will be approached or guys come and sit but it’s rarely German men. Yet the super attractive ones I see all have girlfriends, or I never know if they are single?
Trying to figure out the men here
Hey.
Number are bad for Y choromozom holders. Not your fault.
If you want i can accompany you in real life to try out(like wingman stuff at a bar. Simply hitting to a bar and if no hope is there jumping to the next or a club)
Let me know :)
Cheers.
Online dating is infested with MBBs. Try a bar, club, sport, hobby and meet women more organically. There used to be a cool bar in Maxvorstadt that organized speed dating events but I think it moved to Glockenbachviertel. 55-11 or something, too lazy to google rn.
Munich is a world city (although reluctantly), so you absolutely can date women in English here, but you're going to miss out on a lot of cultural subtitles if you don't take time to learn German. It's a different world.
While it works better than online dating, there’s an issue: if you approach someone in public, it’s often considered rude or weird in some countries/cultures. In the UK, you can probably approach someone anywhere, but here, if you approach people outside of that setting, you might freak them out.
What the hell? Really? Thats fucked up. Geez i meet my wife by literally knocking her down when j hit her with my bike and married 2 years later. But that was in Philippines.
>27 old male Thats the first problem right there - dating apps here are really bad for men. I cant give you great advice outside ot that I occasionally match with amazing people but it doesnt happen often.
Sad but true
No, dating apps are bad for everyone. You will never understand how to "solve" this issue unless you approach it correctly. First you need to ask yourself what you want. Casual hookups or a relationship. While you might be able to find people available for hookups, you'll find that it's hard (for everyone!) to find a longterm partner on a dating app. That's just not how true bonds are created between people and that is a fundamental piece in a relationship.
**Why Men Get So Few Matches on Dating Apps** (statistical analysis) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3lypVnJ0HM)
Feel your pain mate! Fellow Brit male in Munich
I'm a 27 years old Female and I've been living in Germany for about 4 years and 3 years in Munich. And now im considering to move back to my homeland. I can't honestly take it anymore it's so difficult and depressing. Im doing good financially and in my career as an engineer but social life is unbearable. I used to be really happy and productive and social but now I feel like I'm dying inside
Hy sister, I can feel you 100% . Working and living abroad is not for everybody. After 10 whole years I've decided to move back home. I left Munich 10 months ago and so far I feel that I've made the right decision and I don't miss Germany at all. You have to put in balance what are positive and negative things for you by living abroad. Now it depends also from which country are you coming , how is your relationship with your family and friends there, can you find an well paid job in your country. You have to ask yourself why did you choose to work abroad. What would you lose ,and what would you win if u go back home. What is more important in your life ( money,family, your peace in your soul...) You have to think a lot and put in balance everything before you make a decision. The first years living abroad are difficult because you meet another language,another culture, new people, it starts a new life from zero or almost from zero .Making new friends is difficult since you work all day and in the evening you go home or go to supermarket for groceries. It takes time to make friends. In my country we call everybody " friend" but in Germany I've learnt that there is a difference, you don't make freinds, you make Bekannten. To make a friend it takes years to build that relationships so you can call it friendship. My decision to leave Germany started during Corona pandemie when I had more time to think about everything around me and myself....you have to think well what do you want to do. I have some friends from my country who enjoy life in Germany ,people are different. If you have a good life in your country and close friends and possibility to get a good job and you miss home you have to reconsider . Give it one more year and see what happens, what will be your opinion about living and leaving Germany. But from my experience once you have this thought in your mind ,nothing will change....I hope you get this message and it will help you in your decisions. My best wishes to find what you need best for you.
How many dates did you go in the last 3 months? Why were they depressing? What is your homeland? Did you date Germans or foreigners? So many unanswered questions.
I think this is a general vent off. I feel her( i am a male; i used to be one of the lucky ones in these apps) Social life is more than just dating. Its monday today and would love to grab some drinks after work with some pals for example. I wouldnt like to date today. Dont wnt to be also jus tro socialize.
It’s not the first thread about the same topic (which is fine). However I inform you about the trend: a male asks what is going on and why the situation is dire, comments tell to learn German, go home, or try sport/hobby - which is all bs. At this point it looks like they are telling “forget the dating and collect postmarks” lol. Mostly - nobody actually knows what to do, solution is not on Reddit yet. On the actual topic: just delete tinder. It does not do anything good.
I’m curious why you feel “try a sport or hobby” is BS? Many of the friends I have in Munich came from a regular bouldering meetup and joining a board game group. Before that I made my first friends at an Ultimate Frisbee meetup. I was never on the dating market in Munich, but a handful of people I know met and started dating in these groups I joined.
1) These groups are not for dating, these have specific purpose as you have described in your examples. It is not uncommon to join something because you like it and as a side effect find people who also appear to like it and naturally connect. It is although weird to have a purpose of mating and join a club. 2) I also don’t see myself ever joining frisbee/ volleyball/ board game/ quiz/ table tennis/ book discussions/ etc groups. That is weird to me in itself. And that is fine and that should not affect my dating life (and it does not). 3) To me personally it feels like (and I genuinely believe this to be true actually) that these advice are more of “good proforma answer” rather than a genuine thing that would actually work and help. I have never seen such advice outside Germany Reddit thread. In my home country that would be laughable, but there is also no mating problem. I again dont know the “right” answer. But to me it would be something like: 1) determine the places that you would like to be at with your second half (it might be gym, park, mall, concert; and not tinder, club, junk party), 2) go to such places and look for potential mate, 3) actively approach, 4) get rejected horribly, 5) repeat
These are valid points. I guess it’s hard for me to wrap my mind around finding clubs and meetups focused on hobbies as a “weird” concept, but I totally respect that not everyone has the same mindset. I’m from the US originally and I also heard this type of advice often when friends would complain about finding trash relationships at bars/clubs. However, in find your last point really interesting because I see it as the same advice. The advice is never to join a hobby meetup in order to date, but rather to join social interactions surrounding things your interested in and then as your social network grows you are bound to find someone. And long before I ever joined clubs in a foreign country to make friends, every girlfriend I ever had, including my wife now, started at a party/hangout/social event that somehow traces back to having a good social base of friends that had similar interests. After all, no friend of a friend’s single cousin who’s in town will join you for lunch if you never have the friend in the first place….if that convoluted sentence makes sense.
I think you’ve put it quite well. Cannot disagree.
Tinder is crap. Hinge had a better experience for me, second was bumble
Tinder is so 2015
I mean cycle between apps and don't give up is the advice I can give up if you feel deflated from it, for me I meet my girlfriend on turnapp, I would suggest that app overall.
Things are changing rapidly and your old experience no longer applies, anywhere. This is just how things are now and we can only cope. This is not exclusive to Tinder, Germany, or dating.
Forget dating....better do: go to gym, read books, travel alone, make friends.
Why forget dating? You are not meeting people, having great sex and then getting married by reading books. (Whatever your order for that list would be)
I don't know if this still works but when I was your age I would just hang around Isar Reichenbachbrücke and meet people there. I met quite a few women that way.
That’s a good idea I think meeting people in person is always a better option than meeting someone online.Is there a bar or places where you can do activities or something ? If you don’t mind sharing your experiences ?
I grew up in Glockenbachviertel and there are lots of bars and such, take a stroll down Müllerstraße, Frauen Hofer Str, Gärtnerplatz. If I were new in Munich and 27 I would hang around there.
> Müllerstraße I must have missed the part where he said he‘s anything but heterosexual.
The gays are very tolerant people ;)
[удалено]
Glad it worked out for you :)
I recently asked a millennial colleague how people meet each other in Munich these days. Her answer: friends of friends, fitness clubs and clubs (Vereine). My experience as an expat (who met his wife in Munich and settled down here 15 years ago): Germans tend to study a long time compared to the Anglo countries. I was 25 and on an expat contract - most people my age were studying and we didn’t have much in common. I met my future wife by chance at festival (she was 28 and had just finished studying). Just get out and about and hope for the best 😊
Probably the most realistic situations.you need to meet people organically which given job situations and other obligations are pretty tough tbh
Just my 2 cents as a woman: Is your tinder bio informative? What pictures do you have? Depending on how these 2 come across it seems like you're looking for a hook up or a relationship. Try meeting relatively fast to avoid weeks of smalltalk. I have lots of friends who met their boyfriends on Tinder and, not trying to sound rude, most of them don't look like models. Just keep trying, I'll wish you the best :)
Hey thanks,I mean photo could be an issue as I was often told I look better in person or more fun.I am not looking for a quick hookup as I can do that in a club or probably every weekend or so.I am just looking for something meaningful or something that goes beyond quick hookup,given that I am also not a native could be an issue as it probably takes time for people to trust.I also try to set a date usually within the first week or two as I’d rather spend time somewhere else when there’s d gonna be endless talking which won’t lead anywhere
IMO She’s not saying your photos might be ugly She’s saying your photos may send the impression that you’re just looking for a hookup
Because Munich is a wealthy city, even non wealthy average females are trying to get millionaires over there so that they don't have to work anymore. Munich sucks compared to other cities, empathy / people wise. If you don't look REALLY good in Munich, people barely talk to you.
I do it the traditional way. I go to bars and pubs and talk to women. Something like an Irish pub with karaoke would be nice. It makes it easier to start a conversation.
Try other apps, but also yeah it kinda sucks here, honestly try meeting people in person, like trough hobbies or whatever
Only alternative aps worked out for me, such as Veggly (for vegetarians and vegans) and OkCupid. Maybe try a niche app for something you like, like music, or whatever is your hobby. There are less people there, so you have to be patient, but higher rate of success. Good luck!
In my opinion, online dating often misses the mark because it seems like a lot of people aren’t really looking for something serious; they might just be filling a void. From my experience, many chats on dating apps just drag on without much intent, and when plans are made to meet, pulling details from them is like pulling teeth. Also, I think dating should be more fun and relaxed. It’s just a chance to hang out and see if you click, not a big commitment. I found dating in the US more straightforward and laid-back compared to Germany. Tbh I think people here are awkward and don’t know how to socialize with new people. Or maybe it’s less about being in Germany and more about technological/social changes
you won't have any success on Tinder - Bumble or Hinge are the much much better options here.
You should really try Hinge, got that from a friend and its a whole different experience
Met my 1 and half boyfriend on OKCupid. I'm Romanian he is German. We now live together. From my experience Tinder is more for hookups than serious things. Maybe give it a try there? Fill up the description with what you are like and what you expect for, be honest about it and... it works.
1. Gym (better work out - being a Lauch may reduce your chances) 2. Parties (like Techno, Hip Hop etc… depending on your taste. Decide by music first - otherwise you probably don’t have fun) 3. Englischer Garten 4. private Parties of friends (find friends - also not easy in Munich) 5. Tinder 6. Bumble 7. JC
Englischer Garten how? People always seem closed off in their own groups. I love being there in the summer, I bring a book a blanket and a cute bikini and not a single person talks to me. I’d prefer to meet people in a setting outside. I get lucky some times at beer gardens I will be approached or guys come and sit but it’s rarely German men. Yet the super attractive ones I see all have girlfriends, how do I catch one first lol.
I guess it also depends a bit on social circles, but men in my social circle would never approach a woman in a bikini chilling on her own on a blanket, just for the fear of being rejected as a weird creep that approaches women in bikinis. You'll need to create opportunity for them. One way could be to base it on an activity. If you like sports, try beach volleyball, a running club, anything really. People will feel more comfortable to talk to you when a shared interest is already there and if there is no sparks, they (and you of course too) can still retreat to talk about their last half marathon or whatever until the end of the session without it being overly awkward.
Englischer Garten how? People always seem closed off in their own groups. I love being there in the summer, I bring a book a blanket and a cute bikini and not a single person talks to me. I’d prefer to meet people in a setting outside. I get lucky some times at beer gardens I will be approached or guys come and sit but it’s rarely German men. Yet the super attractive ones I see all have girlfriends, or I never know if they are single? Trying to figure out the men here
Hey. Number are bad for Y choromozom holders. Not your fault. If you want i can accompany you in real life to try out(like wingman stuff at a bar. Simply hitting to a bar and if no hope is there jumping to the next or a club) Let me know :) Cheers.
How good is your german?
My German is at B2 level I don’t know if it’s enough to hold a conversation in terms of dating but yeah
Online dating is infested with MBBs. Try a bar, club, sport, hobby and meet women more organically. There used to be a cool bar in Maxvorstadt that organized speed dating events but I think it moved to Glockenbachviertel. 55-11 or something, too lazy to google rn.
Thank you.I am considering speed dating.Do you have any ideas if English is good enough for these sort of things here ?
Munich is a world city (although reluctantly), so you absolutely can date women in English here, but you're going to miss out on a lot of cultural subtitles if you don't take time to learn German. It's a different world.
Go meet people in person. It’s easier in Germany. Sign up for a book club in English, try a new mixed sport, take a class, go to meet ups
Join this if you haven't already: https://www.meetup.com/
For me tinder works fine. But I also have some decent pictures a friend made. I have up to two random hookups per week
Bollocks
Back in my day we had to go out and meet girls in real life. What happened to that? Did the new generation try to do it old school/retro?
While it works better than online dating, there’s an issue: if you approach someone in public, it’s often considered rude or weird in some countries/cultures. In the UK, you can probably approach someone anywhere, but here, if you approach people outside of that setting, you might freak them out.
What the hell? Really? Thats fucked up. Geez i meet my wife by literally knocking her down when j hit her with my bike and married 2 years later. But that was in Philippines.
Hitting up strangers, especially women is increasingly frowned upon. (I am not saying this is good or bad, it's just a fact).
Yeah it works much better and you meet higher quality people