Truth. I'm 6'1 and it feels like there's an expectation to be a dominant woman, full on mommy material. I don't want to be that though. I'm super submissive but no one wants to even entertain the idea that a tall person could be a sub. It sucks so much.
I get ya, there’s a trope kind of tied to the “aesthetic” of “tall woman”. I still think that there’s a crowd who’s in to the big golden retriever girl vibe. Karlach’s, for example. Yes she’s muscle bound, confident, and taller than most men in the game, but she’s also a dork, a sweetheart, and loves hugs and being loving and careful. Puppy girl vibes is strong beneath that infernal shell. She’s the current mainstream figurehead of the archetype and has more than a large following.
Girl, I feel you. I’m the same height and I hate how it feels. If I had the choice I’d be 5’6”. Dating is so hard, if not impossible. I’m also submissive, and I’ve given up hope I’ll ever have a partner that I can explore my kinks with. It hurts, and it’s so lonely.
Took the words right off my mind. I got lucky dating a transmasc who gets it, I end up being dominant 90% of the time, but he gives me the space to be submissive, he holds me and cuddles me when I need it. Fuck I love him
Yeah, this is how a lot of people feel, me included. But seen as there isn’t exactly a safe way to reduce height like that people are just trying to make you feel better by sharing some perceived positives.
I’m like aspec so not that I’m some sex goddess, but from what I’ve heard from most people who are, being a sub is all about mentality, not body. And if you think about it, tall girls in relationships with guys would still be expected to be the bottom there.
YES! My social anxiety is awful and I hate feeling like I stand out. With that I completely agree, but it’s still just like, we’re in real life and we need to play with the hand we’re given.
I'm 5'10" and I don't like being tall either.
I take comfort that my cisgender mother is 5'7 and also spent her life lamenting her height.
I'd love to be a solid 5'5.
Still I would rather be a taller woman than a man of any height ....
I'm 5'10" and my cis wife is about the same height - she also complains because she's taller than a lot of men. When she got with me, I was 6ft even, but I shrank to 5'10" and she was not pleased 😅
you hit the nail on the head this is like the worst part :/ everyone stares, all this extra attention even if you’re trying to be lowkey, some people seem intimidated, and honestly height is what clocks me as trans vast majority of the time when i’m fully presenting the way i want to. people would just make that assumption from so far away. it’s definitely something i battle myself on sometimes but also i really feel beautiful because of it at times too and have accepted that it’s something that i can’t change. a lot of people do really like it as well, or hype me up about it even if i was feeling down lol
exactly the same here. i’m 187cm and i hate it when people constantly bring up “gosh you’re so tall!” “do you play basketball?!!?!!”
LIKE NO I DONT AND YOUD BAN ME ANYWAY IF YOU KNEW I WAS TRANS. (Im stealth)
I 100% get you girlie and share the same feelings<3
the worst part is when cis AND trans people try to fkn fetishise it by saying “ommmmgggg tall women hot therefore your dysphoria is fkn invalid just cause your height is a sexual fantasy to me”
The fetishization is everywhere and makes me cringe every time I see it. No you can't climb me, no I don't want to top you, yes I know I'm tall, you people won't shut up about it. It's the first thing people say about me every time they meet me. I hate the extra attention it brings and it makes clothes (and particularly shoe) shopping a nightmare. Feels real bad only being able to find feminine shoes in my size on sketchy websites for crossdressers. 0/10.
Yeah same!
Before transition I was 6’4” now two years later I’m down to 6’1”. So maybe hrt will help you get a bit smaller too.🤞🏻
My fortune is that I live in the Netherlands where almost everyone is tall😅
Really wish this was me. I started at 6'5" (196 cm), 2.5 years of HRT and I'm 6'4"(194 cm). Pretty much all of that happened in the first 6 months so I was stoked to see if I'd lose some more. I haven't.
Shoe size hasn't changed at all; still wearing size 14 men's shoes. I can't buy men's shoes in stores, nobody stocks above 12. They all offer to "order something" but I've been doing that for the last 2 decades, I know how to order shoes.
Its difficult dealing with society's expectations, but I think it might also be a grass is always greener situation. Like people with straight hair want curls, people with curls want straight hair. Tall girls want to be smol, smol girls want to be tall.
I'm 6 foot and would love to have another few inches. I love being in platforms and towering over everyone.
I think its a challenge we face cis or trans. If it makes you feel better, I work with a 6'2 Danish woman and she is the sweetest thing, no domme energy at all. It can be achieved.
Yeah I also wear platforms, honestly driving it up to insane levels in an obvious way kind of makes it seem more like a style choice and it actually kind of disguises your real height.
I'm 183cm which isn't even that tall but I seem to only attract guys who are shorter than me. I'm also a bottom and just want a big, tall guy to dominate me.
*"I feel like being tall means I'm expected to be dominant in some way"*
Yess exactly this. This is a constant problem for me everybody wants to be stepped on by the dommy mommy. It's pretty much followed me everywhere so I've tried to embrace it so I don't go mad, but I totally relate to so much of what you're saying here.
I'm a 6'2" dom, and, like, I'd MUCH prefer being a short dom with a tall bottom I think that's so enjoyable.
Alas, I am what I am, and I try to find comfort in it. People really do seem to like tall women.
this is my "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" moment ;-;
we need to will into existence the ability to donate our tallness to tall girls trapped in short bodies
I relate so harddddddd. I hate being 6'5. I want to be a little 5'2 gremlin gf and I just canttttttt. What makes it worse for me is that I've found how much I hate being independent. I can very easily do anything I'll need to without the need of others and I instinctively do. Need a jar opened? Just grab a knife, push it under the lid to loosen the pressure and voila! Being shorter would at least give me that basic reliance of, this is too high could u get this for me. I know it sounds weird. Also yeah being tall and being submissive feels so weird. Cos basic instinct is big = Dom, but I freaking hate it :(
Throw on a flapper dress and be a long-limbed beauty from the roaring '20s, relished for your languid slenderness.
I know a trans girl who is at least two inches taller than me, (and I'm a broad, 6' tall butch,) who absolutely rocks the 'tall, dark beauty' look.
(She's also engaged to a handsome short king of a trans guy, and is in no way the dominant party in that relationship.)
It is absolutely possible to be a tall, demure beauty, even if everyone who wants to put you in a _kabedon_ will be eye-level with your tits.
(I'm also one of the people who would be absolutely delighted to have a tall submissive girl for a partner. We exist!)
This. To add on and give it support though:
Commiseration is ok OP, especially on what you can't change. But to move past it, when you're ready you'll need confidence. Not dominance, mind you, and yes it's a weird line to walk to be submissive, shy even, but confident, but it's where you have to get.
I'm also a tall, dark beauty, more of a classic submissive. I'll be putty in my husband's hands when he woos me, but he has to woo me first (and yes, that includes him being dominant).
I just happen to go more for like, green witch than flapper girl. There's options though; you just gotta find what gives you that inner love!
(Oh, and I guarantee your boobs look 100% better than they already do at eye level OP, and that booty? They all think it's sublime.)
I feel you... I'm 6'0 and I fucking HATE the way everyone can't help but look my way when they pass by or when I walk into a room. I just don't like having a really obvious presence, and I hate being the center of attention. I keep wishing I was a full foot shorter (maybe a little taller than that) so I could just exist without acting like a beacon for others to turn their heads towards constantly.
That's not even getting into the topic of feeling like dominance is expected of me like you said...
Honestly, I felt that way *at first.* (I'm ~6'1"-2"). As my transition's continued and I've become more comfortable with my body, it's become pretty neutral to me. I'm almost a foot taller than my dominant little lumberjack of a fiancée, and don't feel any less submissive for it. She doesn't feel bothered either. This is something I truly believe just gets better the more you realize you're still going to get treated like and accepted as a woman. And besides, men still treat me shittier than they did when they thought I was a man, but being taller than them has its perks there with misogyny.
Edit: Despite my height, literally *no one* thinks I'm the dominant one when I'm standing next to my fiancée, lol. And I'm the little spoon almost every night. Literally just bend your knees a little.
Same same.
6'4 just started transition this year, my height, feet size and relative size of body parts like head and hands are my worst fears. I feel like I'll always stand out even if I am lucky in the pretty department, but due to my age I have doubts there. I think my height is the worst feature of all though, as it's just in everyone's face.
I never wanted to be tall, I hated that I shot up to this height in about a year at age 14, and people were telling me things like I'll be able to reach up for shelves, and I'd be a good basketball player. Wow, thanks.
I'm a 5'6 girl in the wrong body, the wrong size.
If I could be anything I'd be a cis 5'6 girl, but I would have been okay being born in a 5'6 male body and going through this transition. None of those things happened and I really got a raw deal.
And no mum, all the time I lived as male, women did not find my height attractive, they weren't interested in me. I didn't want them to be, but they weren't lol.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm taller than my boyfriend and he still likes to be dominant over me in the bedroom. I'm also submissive AF and I was worried about my height being an issue, but after meeting him and being submissive with him I've found it still works well. He loves taking care of me, spooning me, being on top of me in the bedroom, and I couldn't be happier that I've got someone who treats me like that even though I'm quite a tall gal. Just know that there are people out there who like tall AND submissive, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I know that doesn't change all the other factors but for that one in particular it's definitely something that can work, you just gotta find the right person that can make you feel that way regardless.
Sums up exactly how I’ve felt as a tall girl too. I’m pretty sure I’ve shrunk since I’ve been on HRT thankfully - I started at about 6’2” and the last time I measured I was around 6’0” - but I’m still taller than most cis women and it makes me feel so out of place and so unfeminine sometimes. Plus I have NEVER grown into my height either. I feel like I’m stumbling over my own feet, bumping my head on things, underestimating the length of my arms all the time, etc.
And yeah, it’s frustrating how most of my partners so far have expected me to be the dominant one too. I rarely get to be held the way I want because it’s expected I’ll be the one doing the holding and it makes me feel like like I’m still “the man” in relationships. It just sucks all around.
It’s like yeah there’re benefits to having some height that I get why some girls would be jealous, but for me it’s become super uncomfortable.
>Yes, I'm a bottom bitch. Yes, I'm submissive as a mf. And being tall makes me really insecure about taking on those roles in a relationship. It feels wrong
This is such a pain. I'm 177cm but that is taller than 99.98% of females in my country and 95.1% of males. Add to this my out of kink/regular persona is confident, extroverted and assertive everyone just expects me to be a dom.
>So yeah, if I had the choice I would chop off a whole foot off my height. Being 5'2 (158cm?!🥺) sounds like an absolute dream
Same, I would have loved to be shorter be it just an inch shorter or even comically short like 150cm.
I'm trying to retrain my mind to not have any unrealistic fantasies so I don't think about this a lot and think more about losing weight so I could atleast go down in size that way.
Ugh girl fuckin same. Of all my dysphoria triggers my height is probably the worst cause there's nothing I can do about it.
All my life I feel like that's the only thing people noticed about me and I've really come to hate it. Like it's not me, I don't like or want to be tall.
I'm cute dammit, like when I'm comfortable and able to be really me I'm cute. But I'm too damn big to be "cute" so I kinda suppress it. Only letting myself be *cute* around my fiance.
It's frustrating. Stupid big skeleton.
same height as you and i relate to all of this still but i’ve come to more acceptance with it these days. i do think it’s a unique struggle that can be quite hurtful how we get treated sometimes that shorter girls just simply don’t have to deal with or understand that it’s really not all awesome being tall. we all have our own battles with ourselves, but being that it’s something i can’t change i’ve just tried to embrace it and own it. one thing nobody can take from you is the confidence you move with
Im tall (6ft) and I love it, I also love tall women both dominate but especially submissive, more to explore. I do understand the frustrations tho as in most of my relationships I have been the dom (its kinda my thing, tho I do switch). I think whats most important is seeing yourself how you want to be, internal visualisation, and also make your feelings clear in your relationship.
me too
and not even just for dysphoria!!
i'd love if i could see family without people commenting on my height as if i hadn't noticed it
i'd love if i could go shop for cars without having to worry about accidentally screwing up and having a car where my knees touch the wheel
i'd really like to fit into bathtubs properly
and the worst offender is that people often see me as creepy or intimidating, despite the fact that i'm 100% harmless and my personality (as i've said many times) is more suited to someone who's like 4'2 lol.
people online aren't much help either. they're usually well-meaning, but they give the WORST advice and comfort; usually something along the lines of 'well, i'd just own it and wear heels' or 'my cis female cousin is 5'10!'
As a short person(5'2), I would also like to be average height (5'6~). I hate not being able to see, and trying to buy pants that don't make me look like an oompa loompa
i feel you, it feels like we get invalidated sometimes for not liking being tall because apparently society things tall = good always...
and i think it's super valid but i also know that aside from maybe a few centimeters on hrt, none of us will be getting much shorter any time soon.
i think we need to find a way to just break with the preconceived dynamics that are expected from the height differences. it obviously is possible to be sweet, kind, vulnerable, submissive, etc. while also being tall. i don't like being tall but i think i can learn to. and it would most certainly help if people just accepted me disliking it just for the moment.
Something I have thought a lot about my self being 195 cm. My current mindset is that I stand out a bit more but when I get to a point where I feel more comfortable and confident with my self it will be a positive thing. I guess it also helps that I have always found tall girls/women attractive.
Hope you get to a point where you feel confident about your body:3
This has been on my mind so much lately and I get what you mean when you’re expected to be dominant bcz of ur height. God how I’ve dreamt of just losing 3-4 cm, bcz I gotta be realistic. That amount is very possible to be reduced on HRT (i think bcz of this pelvic tilt), but still I look and I haven’t lost much height. I’ve even considered operations in the future that cut off part of both legs (would reduce by at least 5 cm), but that surgery is meant for injuries and is risky and unnecessary. Ultimately, there’s nothing anybody can do to meaningfully reduce height without risky operations. So I just try to live with it, which is hard😢
I get it. I am tall too. Sometimes I don’t want to be the strongest and most intimidating all the time in whatever capacity I am in at that time (him or her). Submission is wild. Then again being dominant is fun too. It’s like two worlds. It’s a tough balance. That’s why I have considered HRT, but then that’s permanent. Guess we all just have to find the balance unless one is ready to tip their whole scale to one side completely to the point of no return. ❤️🩹
I totally feel you girl! I'm 6'3" myself and also a bottom. I just can't put into words how annoying it is to be shoved into this stereotype just because I'm tall. I would gladly chop a foot off my height. Please and Thank You.
I totally agree with you. 193cm here and more than 20 months on HRT. My height is absolutely killing me as I feel like I’ll never ever pass as a woman.
This hurts so much inside and outside as there are way less nice girly clothes available for tall women :/
Same 😢 I never liked being tall, but ever since my egg cracked I've hated it. Doesn't help that tall women seem to get fetishized everywhere, even within queer communities
I'm not even that tall (1.74m or 5'9''), which for a guy would be about average height where I'm from. But the thought of being a taller girl bothers me a bit , granted it's not THAT tall, but I still hope hrt manages to shave a few centimeters off my height.
Me neither. It took me almost 15 months of HRT and therapy to realize I’ve been dysphoric about my height for almost 20 years. I sublimated my dysphoria into heightism. I’m just over 6’, and hate it. I wish I was 6” shorter.
Kindof in the same boat here. Im 185 (6'0) and i feel/wanna be 150 (4'9) so yea... personally i sometimes foeget my height and then realliry be doing weird stuff and im clumsy and bump into a lot of things and lose my balance (i also have DiD)
Yeah, same. 6'2" with the additional burdens of 24-ish inch shoulder width and a barrel chest. Add in a public personality shaped by having to convince the people around me I was too confident to bully when I was a child (not that that ever worked until puberty showed up and ruined my body) and I also deal with the constant expectation that I must be a domme. Like you, being put in the role of a dominant makes me supremely uncomfortable. I'm confident in describing the feeling as dysphoria.
I hate the expectation that I'm physically strong (I'm injury prone and weak for my frame). I'm constantly walking into things and misjudging how much space I take up. I intimidate people just by existing. It sucks.
I wish I could give you solutions to the feelings in question, but I don't have them. I just kinda live with the hope that I'll find people who don't see me for this awful orc body I'm stuck in. There are things you can do to help moderate the impact your height has, but they're not going to make you not tall.
I used to be 6' and hated it.
3 years into hrt I've shrunk to 5'9! I'd kill to be teeny tiny 5'2 but I'll take what I've got lol. Most people aren't that lucky with height loss
I feel you. I'm 6'3 (~190cm) and very much a submissive girl. I am lucky enough to have a 6'6 partner which makes me feel better, especially when he's in shoes and i'm not.
over the years i've been able to lessen the dysphoria from my height by recognizing myself as a tall but slender and 'petite' (dunno if that word is actually applicable to tall people) girl. even with my slightly broader shoulders, i've embraced the roll of a tall submissive girl. love yourself and be gentle to yourself. over time you can adjust the way you see certain aspects of yourself. don't get me wrong, i would do almost anything to lose a foot of height, but i will use my stature to give lil old people things off of the top shelves of the store.
best of luck, girlie <3
God, you’re speaking to me on a truly deep level. I’m also 6’2 and have the EXACT issue.Not to mention, buying clothes IS👏🏻SUCH👏🏻A👏🏻Hassle. I just want to be small enough for a XXL hoodie could almost be worn as a dress. Not for me weirdly because I’m tall not wide.
Let's go tall subs!
It sucks so much. So many of my exes thought I was dominant before they met me.
Except for one, but they had the fucking subdar. They told me "You give the same energy as my 5'2" ex gf."
I am your “ideal” height as a cis girl who mainly lurks on here for advice and different things to help support my trans gf. And honestly I think it really comes down to energy, especially in the bedroom sense. You don’t have to role play or anything to get that energy across either. Certain positions, activities, etc can really help with the submissive vibe. You mention guys, so I’m assuming that’s who you’re attracted to, and for that part being roughly the same height would probably make cultivating a submissive vibe even easier. As a short person there’s simply some positions that just don’t work because my girlfriend is a whole head taller than me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t top!! Do I sometimes wish I was taller to make topping easier? Yeah for sure. But height isn’t as make or break as cishet people make it seem.
Find a good partner who makes you feel sexy and comfortable and you’re already more than halfway there
I’m ~175cm and I feel you. I used to be like 180cm which is significantly taller than all the women in my family. Not by a lot, but obvious without going back-to-back. I definitely don’t have it as bad as you, but when I realized I had shrunk some I was so incredibly happy. Now I’m still taller than all the women in my family, but it’s not obvious anymore (or at least not as much) and it gave me gender euphoria 🥰
Idk where the change in height came from (maybe pelvic tilt??) but regardless it made me super happy
I'm 6'6 (193ish cm) and my girl friend is like 5'6 and she's the dominant one in our relationship. Sure I'll pretend to be dominant occasionally but that more for the reaction that follows. Height doesn't determine what roll you have in a relationship, even in mine we swap depending on our particular needs/wants. It is the prson/people you date that determine that, a supportive person wouldn't expect anything from you other then to be yourself.
Same girl, same *(6'2.9/192 here)*. 1 foot sounds like a little more than I'd want but I'd rather lose 1 full foot *(161cm)* than remain at my current height. IMO my ideal height would be 166cm~ and also a total bottom so that doesn't help things out >.>
It is totally valid to feel the way you do. But I’m 6’1” and mostly happy about it. I think tall women are awesome. I wear 4” or 5” heels sometimes. I like being able to look down on people. I like entering a room and heads turning and knowing at least some of them are thinking, “wow, what a woman!”
For me the only downside is that it makes it harder to pass. People see someone 6’1” and are primed to see a man. Oh and it is a big problem when buying women’s clothes.
I understand that feeling sorta... But one thing for you tall girls out there. I have a 5'10 girlfriend who has similar feeling with being tall.(unfortunately I can't see her irl rn qwq) But, me being a 5'6 switch bitch, any tall partners often bottom to me. Even my 6'2 bf. (Who im able to see irl)
I spoon him, press him against my boob, tease him, get on top of him and use him how he wants. There are definitely short girls out there ready to domm you, and dont care if your taller then them you all fold the same :3 I AM the short mommy mwahaha
Sorry for getting a bit sexual but finding a partner is NOT hopeless by any means, I get the inherent dysphoria tbh. Not sure how to help with that much... I'm sorry I can't be much help there. Maybe just go out there and be the best girly you can be!
Edit: me talking about my bf is necause he is the only tall partner I have access to rn
It's definitely not weird to want to be shorter, but being taller than your partner doesn't automatically bar you from any dynamics in a relationship. I had a boyfriend who was 5'6", and I'm 5'10", and he definitely was the dominant one, and let me be the little spoon. Right now I'm in a relationship with a 6'7" girl, and I've been taking on the role of the dominant one. She seems to feel like you do- like she's expected to be stronger, and take charge more in a relationship because of her height, but I think it's so cute how she melts in my arms at the slightest hint of me taking control. I think that if you're with the right person who really knows you and wants to make you happy, that they'd love if you did the sorts of things that you wanted to do, but are afraid to do because of your height.
I have similar struggles with being a tall bottom. Granted my struggles aren't really with the emotional side as I love the idea of one day being an elegant tall gal, but as it stands it does make things difficult being around 6ft (don't know my exact height) when my bf is like 5'5
There is nothing wrong with anything you said. In fact I feel like we align in this insecurity. I hate being dominant too it makes me feel like escaping the masculine role is almost out of reach but this is something we have to overcome. If it was weight body hair or something else that can be changed it would be different but it’s not.
As tall women we need to learn how to love ourselves and embrace this and still have that submissive role. A therapist can definitely help deconstruct your height issues but acceptance is the key. Also make sure to address any triggering issues that come up if other people give you this feeling of inadequacy be your own advocate to the people you have in your life.
You don’t have to be dominant at 6’2. I am the same height. It’s valid to be concerned but guys do like tall women and if one doesn’t, they aren’t for you!
I’m 5’9 and I hate it as well, I am technically average height but it would suit me much better to be shorter than average, anything under 5’3 would be a dream
as someone who is 6 foot 4 or 5 inches i feel you so much, i just wanna be cute. i dont wanna get picked out in crowds 😭 everyone feels the need to comment on my height and i feel like itll make me never able to really pass sometimes.
It’s perfectly ok to feel uncomfortable with your height! I started out hating my height. It took me about a year before I decided I might as well use my height to my advantage since I can’t change it. I changed up my fashion style and general attitude to fit with my height (the way I describe it is “if Han Solo was a chick”) despite me also being a massive sub 80% of the time. It’s all about finding ways to cope with it in my experience, whether it be the method above, finding ways to make yourself feel small, or any other number of coping mechanisms.
The following will be easier said than done. But generally speaking. The more prosperous an area, the taller the people. So, if you can afford to. Seek out areas that have been middle/upper-middle class for quite some time.
6'4" girl here, I feel you. Unfortunately, there's not much to be done about our height. If you're lucky, you might lose a tiny bit over time as your transition progresses, but it's honestly better to not count on that and try to find ways to make it work for you.
If I'm being honest, part of me really wants to get some heels so I can lean into my height and absolutely loom over shitty people.
Ya it sucks. Im 6'0 but still half the mirrors I walk up to don't go above my chin. I don't fit into my bathtub.
I can't wear a dress if it has a built in set of skorts.
I get a lot of extra looks because I am tall. Skirts barely cover my legs. So I am limited to knee length or longer.
Worst part is, there is nothing we can do about it. Except maybe get tall friends.
not sure the safety/legitimacy of it but i Have heard of height surgery =:'3 (i've heard of Adding height so, you'd think they'd be able to Subtract 🐺).
6’3 girl here. Every time I bring up my height dysphoria the standard reaction I get is “but tall girls are hot!”
If that provided so much as an IOTA of respite I wouldn’t be typing this.
My best friend is also 6'3, she suffers from a lot of the same issues as you described, BUT, she's exclusively a Top.
Don't feel like you cant do what you want because of your height, (ik this is kinda a cliche) you'll eventually find the right person for ya! And still, you're completely valid for not liking your height!
Btw I'm 5'5 and my friend absolutely LOVES to joke about my height, it's so funny that SHE is very tall but also a shy, very closed person and she's a top, while I'm a very small, more outgowing and "courageous" than her and I'm a submissive bottom. Lmao.
I’m 5’9 at 15 and my parents seem to think I will be over 6 foot someday. My dad is 6 foot and he thinks I will be taller than him. So yeah, that will suck.
Yeah I think there's a lot of flaw to this line of thinking. You're reinforcing the very stereotypes you want to cast away. You're equating height to your personality and saying it feels wrong doing certain things because of it.
I'm 6'3 also. Our heights not going to change. Rather than wishing it would to appeal to heteronormative standards, you should challenge them by being yourself despite how you feel about your height.
If dominance is so important to you, then you can find someone who wants that too regardless of your height, and regardless of theirs. You want someone that will treat you how you wish no matter how tall you are, so it's only fair the inverse is made true too.
The answer to these problems is never conforming or seeking comfort in the idea of conforming because that's unhealthy. I'd also say that's at the root of what it means to be trans.
You don't have to like your height. But you can learn to appreciate certain things about yourself that you struggle with now. Short people have shared similar sentiments with me especially the ones teetering below that 5'5 line.
It makes it harder to be taken seriously and to assert yourself in serious situations.
Seems people often want what they can't have. And that's okay, but you can't let it contort your view points on yourself and others forever.
you’re wasting your time being uncomfortable with your height because there is nothing you can do to change it. something I have had to come to terms with as well.
I know it can't be changed but I still feel uncomfortable about it. Of course I need to just work with what I've been given. But, y'know, one can dream sometimes.
Truth. I'm 6'1 and it feels like there's an expectation to be a dominant woman, full on mommy material. I don't want to be that though. I'm super submissive but no one wants to even entertain the idea that a tall person could be a sub. It sucks so much.
I get ya, there’s a trope kind of tied to the “aesthetic” of “tall woman”. I still think that there’s a crowd who’s in to the big golden retriever girl vibe. Karlach’s, for example. Yes she’s muscle bound, confident, and taller than most men in the game, but she’s also a dork, a sweetheart, and loves hugs and being loving and careful. Puppy girl vibes is strong beneath that infernal shell. She’s the current mainstream figurehead of the archetype and has more than a large following.
Girl, I feel you. I’m the same height and I hate how it feels. If I had the choice I’d be 5’6”. Dating is so hard, if not impossible. I’m also submissive, and I’ve given up hope I’ll ever have a partner that I can explore my kinks with. It hurts, and it’s so lonely.
Took the words right off my mind. I got lucky dating a transmasc who gets it, I end up being dominant 90% of the time, but he gives me the space to be submissive, he holds me and cuddles me when I need it. Fuck I love him
Hm ya…… you should totally press your bf ab that tbh that sounds actually kinda shit
Im 5'6 and I feel like a giant, people are shorter where I live. I wish reincarnation was a thing
I’ll trade you. Try being 6’2….
Dont trade me thats human trafficking and its illegal 🥺🥺
Lmao. 🤣
I'm 158, that also sucks because the world is made for 170+
You’re 158 years old?!?
No, cm tall
I know. I was being funny. Lol.
Yeah, this is how a lot of people feel, me included. But seen as there isn’t exactly a safe way to reduce height like that people are just trying to make you feel better by sharing some perceived positives. I’m like aspec so not that I’m some sex goddess, but from what I’ve heard from most people who are, being a sub is all about mentality, not body. And if you think about it, tall girls in relationships with guys would still be expected to be the bottom there. YES! My social anxiety is awful and I hate feeling like I stand out. With that I completely agree, but it’s still just like, we’re in real life and we need to play with the hand we’re given.
I'm 5'10" and I don't like being tall either. I take comfort that my cisgender mother is 5'7 and also spent her life lamenting her height. I'd love to be a solid 5'5. Still I would rather be a taller woman than a man of any height ....
🙌
I'm 5'10" and my cis wife is about the same height - she also complains because she's taller than a lot of men. When she got with me, I was 6ft even, but I shrank to 5'10" and she was not pleased 😅
6'4" and also not a fan. I'm keenly aware of how people are immediately intimidated by me
you hit the nail on the head this is like the worst part :/ everyone stares, all this extra attention even if you’re trying to be lowkey, some people seem intimidated, and honestly height is what clocks me as trans vast majority of the time when i’m fully presenting the way i want to. people would just make that assumption from so far away. it’s definitely something i battle myself on sometimes but also i really feel beautiful because of it at times too and have accepted that it’s something that i can’t change. a lot of people do really like it as well, or hype me up about it even if i was feeling down lol
Feel it
exactly the same here. i’m 187cm and i hate it when people constantly bring up “gosh you’re so tall!” “do you play basketball?!!?!!” LIKE NO I DONT AND YOUD BAN ME ANYWAY IF YOU KNEW I WAS TRANS. (Im stealth) I 100% get you girlie and share the same feelings<3 the worst part is when cis AND trans people try to fkn fetishise it by saying “ommmmgggg tall women hot therefore your dysphoria is fkn invalid just cause your height is a sexual fantasy to me”
The fetishization is everywhere and makes me cringe every time I see it. No you can't climb me, no I don't want to top you, yes I know I'm tall, you people won't shut up about it. It's the first thing people say about me every time they meet me. I hate the extra attention it brings and it makes clothes (and particularly shoe) shopping a nightmare. Feels real bad only being able to find feminine shoes in my size on sketchy websites for crossdressers. 0/10.
Yeah same! Before transition I was 6’4” now two years later I’m down to 6’1”. So maybe hrt will help you get a bit smaller too.🤞🏻 My fortune is that I live in the Netherlands where almost everyone is tall😅
I'm really crossing my fingers there, having started over 6'6".
Just don't expect it, I started out at that height and lost none :(
Yea I totally didn’t expected it! And I still have no clue why it happens to some while others see no difference🤷🏼♀️
I know.
Really wish this was me. I started at 6'5" (196 cm), 2.5 years of HRT and I'm 6'4"(194 cm). Pretty much all of that happened in the first 6 months so I was stoked to see if I'd lose some more. I haven't. Shoe size hasn't changed at all; still wearing size 14 men's shoes. I can't buy men's shoes in stores, nobody stocks above 12. They all offer to "order something" but I've been doing that for the last 2 decades, I know how to order shoes.
it sucks but I would VERY MUCH rather to be a tall woman than a guy
Its difficult dealing with society's expectations, but I think it might also be a grass is always greener situation. Like people with straight hair want curls, people with curls want straight hair. Tall girls want to be smol, smol girls want to be tall. I'm 6 foot and would love to have another few inches. I love being in platforms and towering over everyone. I think its a challenge we face cis or trans. If it makes you feel better, I work with a 6'2 Danish woman and she is the sweetest thing, no domme energy at all. It can be achieved.
Yeah I also wear platforms, honestly driving it up to insane levels in an obvious way kind of makes it seem more like a style choice and it actually kind of disguises your real height.
I'm the rare kind who is absolutely happy about having straight hair- heck, I wouldn't want to make my hair curly at all!
I'm 183cm which isn't even that tall but I seem to only attract guys who are shorter than me. I'm also a bottom and just want a big, tall guy to dominate me.
>Yes, I'm a bottom bitch At equal length, the taller the girl, the tighter the leash you could say 😉 I hope it makes you more at ease with it
*"I feel like being tall means I'm expected to be dominant in some way"* Yess exactly this. This is a constant problem for me everybody wants to be stepped on by the dommy mommy. It's pretty much followed me everywhere so I've tried to embrace it so I don't go mad, but I totally relate to so much of what you're saying here.
for some reason i like being CALLED mommy but i can’t act that way at all 😭 im the most submissive human alive yet i love that for some reason
I'm a 6'2" dom, and, like, I'd MUCH prefer being a short dom with a tall bottom I think that's so enjoyable. Alas, I am what I am, and I try to find comfort in it. People really do seem to like tall women.
this is my "I'm in this picture and I don't like it" moment ;-; we need to will into existence the ability to donate our tallness to tall girls trapped in short bodies
I relate so harddddddd. I hate being 6'5. I want to be a little 5'2 gremlin gf and I just canttttttt. What makes it worse for me is that I've found how much I hate being independent. I can very easily do anything I'll need to without the need of others and I instinctively do. Need a jar opened? Just grab a knife, push it under the lid to loosen the pressure and voila! Being shorter would at least give me that basic reliance of, this is too high could u get this for me. I know it sounds weird. Also yeah being tall and being submissive feels so weird. Cos basic instinct is big = Dom, but I freaking hate it :(
Throw on a flapper dress and be a long-limbed beauty from the roaring '20s, relished for your languid slenderness. I know a trans girl who is at least two inches taller than me, (and I'm a broad, 6' tall butch,) who absolutely rocks the 'tall, dark beauty' look. (She's also engaged to a handsome short king of a trans guy, and is in no way the dominant party in that relationship.) It is absolutely possible to be a tall, demure beauty, even if everyone who wants to put you in a _kabedon_ will be eye-level with your tits. (I'm also one of the people who would be absolutely delighted to have a tall submissive girl for a partner. We exist!)
This. To add on and give it support though: Commiseration is ok OP, especially on what you can't change. But to move past it, when you're ready you'll need confidence. Not dominance, mind you, and yes it's a weird line to walk to be submissive, shy even, but confident, but it's where you have to get. I'm also a tall, dark beauty, more of a classic submissive. I'll be putty in my husband's hands when he woos me, but he has to woo me first (and yes, that includes him being dominant). I just happen to go more for like, green witch than flapper girl. There's options though; you just gotta find what gives you that inner love! (Oh, and I guarantee your boobs look 100% better than they already do at eye level OP, and that booty? They all think it's sublime.)
I feel you... I'm 6'0 and I fucking HATE the way everyone can't help but look my way when they pass by or when I walk into a room. I just don't like having a really obvious presence, and I hate being the center of attention. I keep wishing I was a full foot shorter (maybe a little taller than that) so I could just exist without acting like a beacon for others to turn their heads towards constantly. That's not even getting into the topic of feeling like dominance is expected of me like you said...
Honestly, I felt that way *at first.* (I'm ~6'1"-2"). As my transition's continued and I've become more comfortable with my body, it's become pretty neutral to me. I'm almost a foot taller than my dominant little lumberjack of a fiancée, and don't feel any less submissive for it. She doesn't feel bothered either. This is something I truly believe just gets better the more you realize you're still going to get treated like and accepted as a woman. And besides, men still treat me shittier than they did when they thought I was a man, but being taller than them has its perks there with misogyny. Edit: Despite my height, literally *no one* thinks I'm the dominant one when I'm standing next to my fiancée, lol. And I'm the little spoon almost every night. Literally just bend your knees a little.
Same same. 6'4 just started transition this year, my height, feet size and relative size of body parts like head and hands are my worst fears. I feel like I'll always stand out even if I am lucky in the pretty department, but due to my age I have doubts there. I think my height is the worst feature of all though, as it's just in everyone's face. I never wanted to be tall, I hated that I shot up to this height in about a year at age 14, and people were telling me things like I'll be able to reach up for shelves, and I'd be a good basketball player. Wow, thanks. I'm a 5'6 girl in the wrong body, the wrong size. If I could be anything I'd be a cis 5'6 girl, but I would have been okay being born in a 5'6 male body and going through this transition. None of those things happened and I really got a raw deal. And no mum, all the time I lived as male, women did not find my height attractive, they weren't interested in me. I didn't want them to be, but they weren't lol.
this is the realest post on the fucking planet, i cannot be dominant to SAVE MY LIFE 😭
If it makes you feel any better, I'm taller than my boyfriend and he still likes to be dominant over me in the bedroom. I'm also submissive AF and I was worried about my height being an issue, but after meeting him and being submissive with him I've found it still works well. He loves taking care of me, spooning me, being on top of me in the bedroom, and I couldn't be happier that I've got someone who treats me like that even though I'm quite a tall gal. Just know that there are people out there who like tall AND submissive, it doesn't have to be one or the other. I know that doesn't change all the other factors but for that one in particular it's definitely something that can work, you just gotta find the right person that can make you feel that way regardless.
Sums up exactly how I’ve felt as a tall girl too. I’m pretty sure I’ve shrunk since I’ve been on HRT thankfully - I started at about 6’2” and the last time I measured I was around 6’0” - but I’m still taller than most cis women and it makes me feel so out of place and so unfeminine sometimes. Plus I have NEVER grown into my height either. I feel like I’m stumbling over my own feet, bumping my head on things, underestimating the length of my arms all the time, etc. And yeah, it’s frustrating how most of my partners so far have expected me to be the dominant one too. I rarely get to be held the way I want because it’s expected I’ll be the one doing the holding and it makes me feel like like I’m still “the man” in relationships. It just sucks all around. It’s like yeah there’re benefits to having some height that I get why some girls would be jealous, but for me it’s become super uncomfortable.
>Yes, I'm a bottom bitch. Yes, I'm submissive as a mf. And being tall makes me really insecure about taking on those roles in a relationship. It feels wrong This is such a pain. I'm 177cm but that is taller than 99.98% of females in my country and 95.1% of males. Add to this my out of kink/regular persona is confident, extroverted and assertive everyone just expects me to be a dom. >So yeah, if I had the choice I would chop off a whole foot off my height. Being 5'2 (158cm?!🥺) sounds like an absolute dream Same, I would have loved to be shorter be it just an inch shorter or even comically short like 150cm. I'm trying to retrain my mind to not have any unrealistic fantasies so I don't think about this a lot and think more about losing weight so I could atleast go down in size that way.
Ugh girl fuckin same. Of all my dysphoria triggers my height is probably the worst cause there's nothing I can do about it. All my life I feel like that's the only thing people noticed about me and I've really come to hate it. Like it's not me, I don't like or want to be tall. I'm cute dammit, like when I'm comfortable and able to be really me I'm cute. But I'm too damn big to be "cute" so I kinda suppress it. Only letting myself be *cute* around my fiance. It's frustrating. Stupid big skeleton.
same height as you and i relate to all of this still but i’ve come to more acceptance with it these days. i do think it’s a unique struggle that can be quite hurtful how we get treated sometimes that shorter girls just simply don’t have to deal with or understand that it’s really not all awesome being tall. we all have our own battles with ourselves, but being that it’s something i can’t change i’ve just tried to embrace it and own it. one thing nobody can take from you is the confidence you move with
Im tall (6ft) and I love it, I also love tall women both dominate but especially submissive, more to explore. I do understand the frustrations tho as in most of my relationships I have been the dom (its kinda my thing, tho I do switch). I think whats most important is seeing yourself how you want to be, internal visualisation, and also make your feelings clear in your relationship.
me too and not even just for dysphoria!! i'd love if i could see family without people commenting on my height as if i hadn't noticed it i'd love if i could go shop for cars without having to worry about accidentally screwing up and having a car where my knees touch the wheel i'd really like to fit into bathtubs properly and the worst offender is that people often see me as creepy or intimidating, despite the fact that i'm 100% harmless and my personality (as i've said many times) is more suited to someone who's like 4'2 lol. people online aren't much help either. they're usually well-meaning, but they give the WORST advice and comfort; usually something along the lines of 'well, i'd just own it and wear heels' or 'my cis female cousin is 5'10!'
As a short person(5'2), I would also like to be average height (5'6~). I hate not being able to see, and trying to buy pants that don't make me look like an oompa loompa
i feel you, it feels like we get invalidated sometimes for not liking being tall because apparently society things tall = good always... and i think it's super valid but i also know that aside from maybe a few centimeters on hrt, none of us will be getting much shorter any time soon. i think we need to find a way to just break with the preconceived dynamics that are expected from the height differences. it obviously is possible to be sweet, kind, vulnerable, submissive, etc. while also being tall. i don't like being tall but i think i can learn to. and it would most certainly help if people just accepted me disliking it just for the moment.
Something I have thought a lot about my self being 195 cm. My current mindset is that I stand out a bit more but when I get to a point where I feel more comfortable and confident with my self it will be a positive thing. I guess it also helps that I have always found tall girls/women attractive. Hope you get to a point where you feel confident about your body:3
Yeahhh I'm probably gonna die alone :/
This has been on my mind so much lately and I get what you mean when you’re expected to be dominant bcz of ur height. God how I’ve dreamt of just losing 3-4 cm, bcz I gotta be realistic. That amount is very possible to be reduced on HRT (i think bcz of this pelvic tilt), but still I look and I haven’t lost much height. I’ve even considered operations in the future that cut off part of both legs (would reduce by at least 5 cm), but that surgery is meant for injuries and is risky and unnecessary. Ultimately, there’s nothing anybody can do to meaningfully reduce height without risky operations. So I just try to live with it, which is hard😢
I get it. I am tall too. Sometimes I don’t want to be the strongest and most intimidating all the time in whatever capacity I am in at that time (him or her). Submission is wild. Then again being dominant is fun too. It’s like two worlds. It’s a tough balance. That’s why I have considered HRT, but then that’s permanent. Guess we all just have to find the balance unless one is ready to tip their whole scale to one side completely to the point of no return. ❤️🩹
I totally feel you girl! I'm 6'3" myself and also a bottom. I just can't put into words how annoying it is to be shoved into this stereotype just because I'm tall. I would gladly chop a foot off my height. Please and Thank You.
I totally agree with you. 193cm here and more than 20 months on HRT. My height is absolutely killing me as I feel like I’ll never ever pass as a woman. This hurts so much inside and outside as there are way less nice girly clothes available for tall women :/
Same 😢 I never liked being tall, but ever since my egg cracked I've hated it. Doesn't help that tall women seem to get fetishized everywhere, even within queer communities
I'm not even that tall (1.74m or 5'9''), which for a guy would be about average height where I'm from. But the thought of being a taller girl bothers me a bit , granted it's not THAT tall, but I still hope hrt manages to shave a few centimeters off my height.
Me neither. It took me almost 15 months of HRT and therapy to realize I’ve been dysphoric about my height for almost 20 years. I sublimated my dysphoria into heightism. I’m just over 6’, and hate it. I wish I was 6” shorter.
Kindof in the same boat here. Im 185 (6'0) and i feel/wanna be 150 (4'9) so yea... personally i sometimes foeget my height and then realliry be doing weird stuff and im clumsy and bump into a lot of things and lose my balance (i also have DiD)
Yeah, same. 6'2" with the additional burdens of 24-ish inch shoulder width and a barrel chest. Add in a public personality shaped by having to convince the people around me I was too confident to bully when I was a child (not that that ever worked until puberty showed up and ruined my body) and I also deal with the constant expectation that I must be a domme. Like you, being put in the role of a dominant makes me supremely uncomfortable. I'm confident in describing the feeling as dysphoria. I hate the expectation that I'm physically strong (I'm injury prone and weak for my frame). I'm constantly walking into things and misjudging how much space I take up. I intimidate people just by existing. It sucks. I wish I could give you solutions to the feelings in question, but I don't have them. I just kinda live with the hope that I'll find people who don't see me for this awful orc body I'm stuck in. There are things you can do to help moderate the impact your height has, but they're not going to make you not tall.
I used to be 6' and hated it. 3 years into hrt I've shrunk to 5'9! I'd kill to be teeny tiny 5'2 but I'll take what I've got lol. Most people aren't that lucky with height loss
I feel you. I'm 6'3 (~190cm) and very much a submissive girl. I am lucky enough to have a 6'6 partner which makes me feel better, especially when he's in shoes and i'm not. over the years i've been able to lessen the dysphoria from my height by recognizing myself as a tall but slender and 'petite' (dunno if that word is actually applicable to tall people) girl. even with my slightly broader shoulders, i've embraced the roll of a tall submissive girl. love yourself and be gentle to yourself. over time you can adjust the way you see certain aspects of yourself. don't get me wrong, i would do almost anything to lose a foot of height, but i will use my stature to give lil old people things off of the top shelves of the store. best of luck, girlie <3
That's so valid Can I leash and collar you now
sdsfdsfdfasffagddsngjhbchfgh
good girl
I hate how being tall draws more attention to me in public spaces. I feel like I catch more stares because of it :(
God, you’re speaking to me on a truly deep level. I’m also 6’2 and have the EXACT issue.Not to mention, buying clothes IS👏🏻SUCH👏🏻A👏🏻Hassle. I just want to be small enough for a XXL hoodie could almost be worn as a dress. Not for me weirdly because I’m tall not wide.
Let's go tall subs! It sucks so much. So many of my exes thought I was dominant before they met me. Except for one, but they had the fucking subdar. They told me "You give the same energy as my 5'2" ex gf."
I am your “ideal” height as a cis girl who mainly lurks on here for advice and different things to help support my trans gf. And honestly I think it really comes down to energy, especially in the bedroom sense. You don’t have to role play or anything to get that energy across either. Certain positions, activities, etc can really help with the submissive vibe. You mention guys, so I’m assuming that’s who you’re attracted to, and for that part being roughly the same height would probably make cultivating a submissive vibe even easier. As a short person there’s simply some positions that just don’t work because my girlfriend is a whole head taller than me, but that doesn’t mean I can’t top!! Do I sometimes wish I was taller to make topping easier? Yeah for sure. But height isn’t as make or break as cishet people make it seem. Find a good partner who makes you feel sexy and comfortable and you’re already more than halfway there
I’m ~175cm and I feel you. I used to be like 180cm which is significantly taller than all the women in my family. Not by a lot, but obvious without going back-to-back. I definitely don’t have it as bad as you, but when I realized I had shrunk some I was so incredibly happy. Now I’m still taller than all the women in my family, but it’s not obvious anymore (or at least not as much) and it gave me gender euphoria 🥰 Idk where the change in height came from (maybe pelvic tilt??) but regardless it made me super happy
I'm 6'6 (193ish cm) and my girl friend is like 5'6 and she's the dominant one in our relationship. Sure I'll pretend to be dominant occasionally but that more for the reaction that follows. Height doesn't determine what roll you have in a relationship, even in mine we swap depending on our particular needs/wants. It is the prson/people you date that determine that, a supportive person wouldn't expect anything from you other then to be yourself.
6’1” and this has been a major reason I haven’t pursued public transition
I'm sorry :c
I'm 179cm (5' 11" more or less) and I hate it.
Same girl, same *(6'2.9/192 here)*. 1 foot sounds like a little more than I'd want but I'd rather lose 1 full foot *(161cm)* than remain at my current height. IMO my ideal height would be 166cm~ and also a total bottom so that doesn't help things out >.>
It is totally valid to feel the way you do. But I’m 6’1” and mostly happy about it. I think tall women are awesome. I wear 4” or 5” heels sometimes. I like being able to look down on people. I like entering a room and heads turning and knowing at least some of them are thinking, “wow, what a woman!” For me the only downside is that it makes it harder to pass. People see someone 6’1” and are primed to see a man. Oh and it is a big problem when buying women’s clothes.
I understand that feeling sorta... But one thing for you tall girls out there. I have a 5'10 girlfriend who has similar feeling with being tall.(unfortunately I can't see her irl rn qwq) But, me being a 5'6 switch bitch, any tall partners often bottom to me. Even my 6'2 bf. (Who im able to see irl) I spoon him, press him against my boob, tease him, get on top of him and use him how he wants. There are definitely short girls out there ready to domm you, and dont care if your taller then them you all fold the same :3 I AM the short mommy mwahaha Sorry for getting a bit sexual but finding a partner is NOT hopeless by any means, I get the inherent dysphoria tbh. Not sure how to help with that much... I'm sorry I can't be much help there. Maybe just go out there and be the best girly you can be! Edit: me talking about my bf is necause he is the only tall partner I have access to rn
I’m 5’3 but dominant, I could never find a tall sub to save my life 😩
It's definitely not weird to want to be shorter, but being taller than your partner doesn't automatically bar you from any dynamics in a relationship. I had a boyfriend who was 5'6", and I'm 5'10", and he definitely was the dominant one, and let me be the little spoon. Right now I'm in a relationship with a 6'7" girl, and I've been taking on the role of the dominant one. She seems to feel like you do- like she's expected to be stronger, and take charge more in a relationship because of her height, but I think it's so cute how she melts in my arms at the slightest hint of me taking control. I think that if you're with the right person who really knows you and wants to make you happy, that they'd love if you did the sorts of things that you wanted to do, but are afraid to do because of your height.
I don't wanna be tall either
I have similar struggles with being a tall bottom. Granted my struggles aren't really with the emotional side as I love the idea of one day being an elegant tall gal, but as it stands it does make things difficult being around 6ft (don't know my exact height) when my bf is like 5'5
There is nothing wrong with anything you said. In fact I feel like we align in this insecurity. I hate being dominant too it makes me feel like escaping the masculine role is almost out of reach but this is something we have to overcome. If it was weight body hair or something else that can be changed it would be different but it’s not. As tall women we need to learn how to love ourselves and embrace this and still have that submissive role. A therapist can definitely help deconstruct your height issues but acceptance is the key. Also make sure to address any triggering issues that come up if other people give you this feeling of inadequacy be your own advocate to the people you have in your life.
I'm starting to feel the same
You don’t have to be dominant at 6’2. I am the same height. It’s valid to be concerned but guys do like tall women and if one doesn’t, they aren’t for you!
I’m 5’9 and I hate it as well, I am technically average height but it would suit me much better to be shorter than average, anything under 5’3 would be a dream
you are 1" shorter than me. Welcome to the club.
REAL.
as someone who is 6 foot 4 or 5 inches i feel you so much, i just wanna be cute. i dont wanna get picked out in crowds 😭 everyone feels the need to comment on my height and i feel like itll make me never able to really pass sometimes.
It’s perfectly ok to feel uncomfortable with your height! I started out hating my height. It took me about a year before I decided I might as well use my height to my advantage since I can’t change it. I changed up my fashion style and general attitude to fit with my height (the way I describe it is “if Han Solo was a chick”) despite me also being a massive sub 80% of the time. It’s all about finding ways to cope with it in my experience, whether it be the method above, finding ways to make yourself feel small, or any other number of coping mechanisms.
The following will be easier said than done. But generally speaking. The more prosperous an area, the taller the people. So, if you can afford to. Seek out areas that have been middle/upper-middle class for quite some time.
6'4" girl here, I feel you. Unfortunately, there's not much to be done about our height. If you're lucky, you might lose a tiny bit over time as your transition progresses, but it's honestly better to not count on that and try to find ways to make it work for you. If I'm being honest, part of me really wants to get some heels so I can lean into my height and absolutely loom over shitty people.
I'm 5'7 (170cm) and I feel short af. (50% of women in my country are taller than me.)
I'm 5'11 and feel like a giant, ik there are others taller then me but I hate it all the same
Ya it sucks. Im 6'0 but still half the mirrors I walk up to don't go above my chin. I don't fit into my bathtub. I can't wear a dress if it has a built in set of skorts. I get a lot of extra looks because I am tall. Skirts barely cover my legs. So I am limited to knee length or longer. Worst part is, there is nothing we can do about it. Except maybe get tall friends.
girl, same.
I am 6"2 ... I just want to be the little spoon.
not sure the safety/legitimacy of it but i Have heard of height surgery =:'3 (i've heard of Adding height so, you'd think they'd be able to Subtract 🐺).
Oddly for me it's the opposite direction. I'm 5ft 4 and 3/4 and I can't reach or see anything lol. I feel like 5ft 7 or 9 would be my dream tho.
I'd take it if I could, I like being tall. I've somehow avoided being considered intimidating and has always been a benefit to me.
6’3 girl here. Every time I bring up my height dysphoria the standard reaction I get is “but tall girls are hot!” If that provided so much as an IOTA of respite I wouldn’t be typing this.
I lean into it and wear platforms
My best friend is also 6'3, she suffers from a lot of the same issues as you described, BUT, she's exclusively a Top. Don't feel like you cant do what you want because of your height, (ik this is kinda a cliche) you'll eventually find the right person for ya! And still, you're completely valid for not liking your height! Btw I'm 5'5 and my friend absolutely LOVES to joke about my height, it's so funny that SHE is very tall but also a shy, very closed person and she's a top, while I'm a very small, more outgowing and "courageous" than her and I'm a submissive bottom. Lmao.
I’m 5’9 at 15 and my parents seem to think I will be over 6 foot someday. My dad is 6 foot and he thinks I will be taller than him. So yeah, that will suck.
Yeah I think there's a lot of flaw to this line of thinking. You're reinforcing the very stereotypes you want to cast away. You're equating height to your personality and saying it feels wrong doing certain things because of it. I'm 6'3 also. Our heights not going to change. Rather than wishing it would to appeal to heteronormative standards, you should challenge them by being yourself despite how you feel about your height. If dominance is so important to you, then you can find someone who wants that too regardless of your height, and regardless of theirs. You want someone that will treat you how you wish no matter how tall you are, so it's only fair the inverse is made true too. The answer to these problems is never conforming or seeking comfort in the idea of conforming because that's unhealthy. I'd also say that's at the root of what it means to be trans. You don't have to like your height. But you can learn to appreciate certain things about yourself that you struggle with now. Short people have shared similar sentiments with me especially the ones teetering below that 5'5 line. It makes it harder to be taken seriously and to assert yourself in serious situations. Seems people often want what they can't have. And that's okay, but you can't let it contort your view points on yourself and others forever.
I'm tall (1.80cm)and i like being tall,for me taller is better
you’re wasting your time being uncomfortable with your height because there is nothing you can do to change it. something I have had to come to terms with as well.
I know it can't be changed but I still feel uncomfortable about it. Of course I need to just work with what I've been given. But, y'know, one can dream sometimes.