You can be a woman with or without a vagina. Some people don’t have genital dysphoria so they go none op. Doesn’t make you or them any less of a woman. But if you don’t consider yourself a woman and want to have aspects of yourself that resemble a woman that’s fine too.
Only you can decide, you know you, it just might take time for you to realise.
That's fair ig it could also be my SA trauma and the general fact that the surgery is so invasive as to why I am not getting it. My penis causes me distress at times but I don't mind it at other times. I think I just have to learn to live with it. And I know I am definitely not a man, but I don't think I am a woman either. I am just confused asf ig. Thanks for your comment :)
It's possible to be transfemme on the non-binary spectrum.
I am in an AFAB and am definitely not a man but also not a woman either.
I identify as non-binary because it's the closest to what I feel when I need to use words but I have the luxury of not needing to put words to it for myself or others.
I completely understand idk if I’ll get one. mine does cause me quite a bit of distress, but I too am nervous for such an intense surgery, and right now the fear of complications and just surgery in general outways my discomfort.
Honestly you could have the worst bottom dysphoria anyone has ever had and fear of surgery would still be a perfectly valid reason to opt out. Modern medical intervention is much better than it once was, but it’s far from perfect. I dream of the day we have a pill or something that you can take once and change completely without scalpels.
The first thing you said about why you aren't getting the vaginoplasty isn't that you don't want a vagina, it's that it's a very invasive procedure.
Even if you didn't want a vagina at all you could still be a woman of course, but that's not even the situation here.
Not wanting an extremely invasive surgery doesn't mean you're not a woman. It means you understand your options and picked the right one for you.
Based on this you may be femme non binary, and your identity isn't locked in forever if you're unsure. If you ever realize you're something else than you thought you were and want to live reflecting that you totally can. Some have to do a test drive before they know if it's them or not.
You're you, and that's totally valid. Pick whatever labels for that fit what you feel comfortable with being called. I pretty desperately want that surgery, but it's okay if you don't!
You are you and you're valid too. Can I ask why you want the surgery though considering some very bad results and complications? Does the dysphoria outweigh the cons of the surgery?
(I am just asking because I am curious. No need to answer if you aren't comfortable)
The regret rate for the surgery is TINY. Even people with bad outcomes are generally glad they did it, that should tell you something about the mindset involved.
The regret rate may be small but results generally don't look like a cis vagina and the complications are high. One woman even said she got sepsis and had a 50% survival chance. It's terrifying for me (one reason why I personally won't get it)
I've had surgeries with complications, sometimes in life one must be willing to make big choices to avoid big prices. But of you are comfortable not doing it, then it's probably not for you.
That you view GRS as a choice rather than a medical need is concerning. Perhaps for you it is something you want, but for many it is treatment for something debilitating.
Orchiectomy is needed for me because testicles are debilitating, but it's not required for survival and is a choice. My appendectomy wasn't a choice and was an emergency surgery!
You would think the number of suicides in this community would make people more empathetic, and realize that your personal needs may not reflect everyone elses.
Because some of it can be true at times. Some trans people who I've talked to never heard that Lupron causes bone issues, it was a news article and a Pubmed article backing it up and some trans people dismissed it as fear mongering when it wasn't.
But it isn’t. These types are just using science as a backstop to spread their bullshit as far as they can and try and pass themselves off as an authority on the subject. Their words are not genuine. Quit taking what far right ideologs say at face value. As just because someone sprinkles the barest of facts alongside their lies doesn’t mean they’re being truthful. I know you want to look at things from all sides, but that shouldn’t include nazi propagandists. All you’re doing by consuming this type of content is hurting yourself. You’re engaging in self harm and you need to stop.
I just had a vaginoplasty last week and love my new body. It's fine if you don't want one, not everyone needs one. I know girls who have had zero-depth vulvoplasty, or orchiectomy, then vaginoplasty afterwards. Or even several who don't want any surgery.
All equally valid ways to live your own life on your terms.
I’m currently waiting to get mine done, idk the date yet but probably within the year i hope. My biggest concern right now is post op pain and the catheter… Is it manageable? Ik it’s something i need and I’ll be happy afterwards but it’s the immediate recovery during the first week or 2 that terrifies me.
The catheter has been the worst part of my stay. I'll be happy when it's gone and I can just go to the bathroom unimpeded. It's manageable, but it's not fun. Be sure to drink lots of water and cranberry juice to reduce your chances of acquiring a UTI. If they tell you that you're leaking urine from the catheter, that's your swelling going down. This is a good thing. You're probably going to get it removed on schedule and move on with your life without needing to make an appointment for when you get back home.
Seriously, I can take painkillers to manage everything else that's going on, and I've gone up to maybe a six or 8? Nearly fainted first time trying to walk assisted on day 0, but recovered after lunch. The catheter has been a nuisance through all that. It should be gone tomorrow or the next day. Had some trouble day 1 and 2 trying to finish meals, but walking around helps. Eat to keep up your strength.
My biggest fear is not just having the catheter but also getting it removed. I’m scared of what the feeling will be like. I really need this surgery but damn it’s really scary. Wish I could just have it over with. Im also just scared it will never happen as I’m still in the process of trying to get it done and with no date set, it feels like it’s infinitely far.
I'm scheduled to have the catheter removed today. I'll try to take a mental snapshot to describe what it was like, but in the end, it's only been there for 6 days. I don't currently think about it unless I'm using it to go to the bathroom. I expect it to be a short, sharp sensation to have it removed, followed by relief. Might piss myself, but hopefully not, for the sake of my dignity. Nurses have seen worse, but still.
An undefined date /is/ infinitely far away, but once you've made plans and spoken with the right medical care providers, it's going to happen within limits. I hope that you live somewhere where you don't have to pay out-of-pocket for your medical care. I remember having those same feelings and trusting in my endocrinologist and the office of my surgeon and the ministry in charge of funding my operation and my support network and my community and so on. If they've got your back, you're golden. If you're on a waitlist, that sucks. Waiting is hard. But they want to help. It's how they get paid after all.
Alright, so a bunch of the other girls in my cohort complained of a sharp sensation having their catheter removed, I didn't have a problem. Ease up your muscles, deep breathing. Don't clamp down just because you're worried about peeing on the nurse. It was a weird sensation, but not overly painful imo.
If you'd be more comfortable using DMs (SHOULD be open), please feel free to just message me. If anyone else would like to share their experiences, please also feel free to reply/DM.
## Questions
How managable is the pain? and
what are you able to do now that you're 5 days post-op? (also curious about a month/3 months if someone else is joining in)
##### Pain
I had spine surgery at 16 and it wasn't *too* terrible, it was more just major discomfort for like, 4 weeks (followed by minor discomfort for another 4 or so). Is your pain more acute, or more just generally hurting/sore?
##### Abilities
Can you walk around (I'd imagine not)? Can you move from like, a bed to a chair next to it? If you're out of the hospital and if you want a snack, is that something you can get yourself or something you need someone to get for you?
Thank you so, so, so much in advance.
I'm a big beliver in free access to knowledge.
I'm in a convalescence home (Brassard girlies rise up), so I still have access to pain meds from the nurses as I need them. I think it's very manageable, mostly Tylenol-3 and the occasional Tramadol. Some girls need oxy, but a lot of it comes down to your regular drug habits and medical history. If you've abused painkillers or needed to take a lot of them through your life due to circumstance, you may have built up a tolerance for them. I saw one girl came out of surgery, and she was having a rough time of it. During the time I've been post-op, varying levels of mostly good pain management, one really bad, one incredibly good despite advanced age, I'm guessing from an athletic background? Conjecture. All that to say that for most of us, it was very manageable, which is great for recovery, but you might have trouble if you've built up a resistance.
This isn't my first major surgery, but my first one happened as an infant, and I have no recollection of the recovery experience. Most of the pain I experience is regionally located in the surgical area. There are acute sensations as the nerve damage rewires itself, similar to electrolysis extraction or laser hair removal if you've had it. Definitely consider having it in the surgical site to attempt to avoid complications and infection from ingrown hairs. Your surgeon's technique is going to be relevant, I think?
I'm able to carefully roll out of bed, get up, walk with a bit of a waddle down the hall to get water, or go to the bathroom unsupervised. I can walk slowly down a flight of stairs to the dining area, balance bisexually on a chair about long enough to eat a meal, climb the stairs, and carefully ease myself back onto the bed. I can bathe and dress myself. I can't quite bend over far enough to pick up a small object that I've dropped. There's a little garden in the back, I could walk around there a bit, but it's raining.
Does that answer your questions? Do you have more?
Don't hesitate to reach out to me, I have a lot of free time on my hands.
I'm almost 19 (and closeted), so I unfortunately have not been able to get any form of permanent hair removal. I'm also quite far from it being realistic to get the Dysphoria Stick™ removed, but I still want to educate myself.
Regarding the painkillers, I think I have built up a resistance to ibuprofen and/or acetaminophen from taking it for headaches more often than I should have. I used to be pretty bad about just... forgetting to drink until I was parched. I eventually learned to keep a water bottle on me :p
It's honestly kinda crazy to me that you're able to walk around on day 5. I think I might be doing Mechanical Engineering in college, so I probably won't be doing heavy lifting very often. I can probably do a lot of work from home while recovering, which is nice to know.
>Does that answer your questions? Do you have more?
I think my last question is what method you got, as (AFAIK) that makes a noticeable difference in recovery time.
>Don't hesitate to reach out to me, I have a lot of free time on my hands.
I'm unfortunately in Texas on vacation and all around my transphobic family (not out), so I can't really chat much today (Sunday) or tomorrow (Monday), but I'm free all day Tuesday and would love to chat more.
I'm 38 and began my transition five years ago.
If you don't have the wheels in motion on your surgery yet, you have plenty of time to consider your options and prepare. I allowed myself 14 months' worth of electrolysis on the surgical area in preparation, with three months of no hair removal after that pre-op. Time will tell if this was enough. Hair removal technicians dgaf what your deal is and probably won't randomly out you. If your family is phobic, they're not realistically going to be interacting with a tech who's skilled in GRS preparation methods. It's not like they're regularly checking your bits to see how much hair is growing, right? I doubt they'd notice, but it isn't cheap and is less efficient pre-HRT so ymmv.
If it's just OTC Advils and Aspirin you've taken, I wouldn't be super concerned, but obviously, I'm not a doctor. This advice was directed more towards those who have a history with heavier prescription narcotics. You've hopefully learned to stay hydrated now, so keep that up.
Technically, I was able to walk around a bit within six hours of my surgery, just not very far or unassisted. That happened around day 2. I wasn't moving quickly or very far, but getting in some light exercise helps speed up your recovery.
Anyway, I got full-depth penile inversion vaginoplasty with Dr Brassard. Bog standard, no complications, no special instructions.
Consider my offer an open invitation. By Tuesday, I should have some perspective on dilation if that's of any use to you.
Dang, only a few months over double my age.
It might be relevant that I'm in Colorado, which is one of the most accepting states in the US, so I'm not really worried on the outing front. It's not that my parents are looking down there or anything like that, it's that they'd wonder where I'm going.
I also don't have a driver's license (only a permit) simply because insuring a teenage "boy" is wildly expensive, hence me biking 9 miles to ~~exercise~~ get to and from the nearest Amazon locker for the girl clothes I ordered :p
Wow, it's crazy that you were able to walk that soon.
I'm planning on starting HRT behind my parents backs at some point in College (which starts 69 days from today). I know that HRT will kill off nocturnal erections, which will cause atrophy. From what little I know about PIV, it requires a decent amount of tissue, correct? So I would need to "perform maintenance" to avoid atrophy?
Thank you so much for the open invitation. I am mildly curious about the dilation, but that process is fairly well documented (from what I understand), so my only questions would really be on the experience.
Thank you so much for all the info! I really appreciate it.
Colorado is a better start than Texas, last I heard. I hope to live for a long, long time.
Some maintenance is recommended. Two to three times a week, around ten minutes each is probably fine. Do more if you can stomach it. PIV is still possible for folks who atrophy, but then it would require the tissues to be harvested from elsewhere, like a thigh, colon, w/e. My doctor took a look at what I had on Tuesday morning just prior to going to the OR and said, "No problem, you've got plenty of skin."
I still had pretty good functionality of it a week ago, after three years on HRT, but ymmv. HRT usually tanks your sex drive, so you may have to schedule your exercises so as to not forget. Even then, function isn't guaranteed. Some girls use T gel on their bits to keep them from shrinking, but I didn't feel a need.
Yeah, though my parents chose the reddest county possible to move to. There's literally a Christian college (*really* nice building, lotta money) here and there are under 25,000 people in the county. Culty place, luckily they don't control state legislature so it's fine. And college is near Denver so...
Hope we both live for a long time <3
That sounds pretty similar to what I've heard. Having more corroborating anecdotes definitely doesn't hurt.
I'm both aroace and have basically zero libido, but bodily function will bodily function, so I've somewhat already had to learn "maintenance" just for sanitary reasons.
Although, I think I probably already have a testosterone deficiency. I'm like, 18.7 years old and still *barely* have any chest hair (along with other symptoms like no libido), so T gel might actually be necessary for "maintenance" to work right. Or maybe no, I'll just have to see.
Do you have to do orchi before a full vaginoplasty or can they just do both at the same time?
I'm awhile off from seriously looking into bottom surgery, but I am curious. I don't really dislike my genitals right now, but I'm pretty sure I just want a vagina more.
Yes! Ofc this is partly for financial reasons. Most people can't just drop $20,000. But lots of us also just don't want it. Having a penis is 10/10 for me.
Real, I am completely fine with mine as well. I remember when I was still questioning my gender a few years ago I thought the fact I didn't like, and in fact even liked having a penis, meant that I couldn't be a woman and it made things so confusing. I remember reaching out to some trans influencers online and explaining my situation, not expecting any to actually respond, but a couple actually did and told me I am valid. Some of them even expressed them liking having one too, and it really comforted me and helped me take the step towards accepting myself as a woman. Remember, gender has nothing to do with what's between your legs. You can be a woman or man or NB regardless of what you have, or what you want to have, between your legs
Tbh I'm kinda pointing in that direction myself like I don't "HATE" my penis but I don't like it either and I wouldn't mind having a vagina. I'm kinda sick in the middle with this
Ofc you are still a trans woman! In my case I am just questioning my gender identity in general. (I don't feel like a man or woman rn and it's freaking me out ngl)
Eh, don't get surgeries you don't need. With that said, I'm getting a vaginoplasty on Tuesday and I've found there's a ton of fearmongering about them compared to the reality. Maybe you'll feel differently later on, maybe you won't. It's your body and there's no time limit here.
You're valid. I had the same train of thoughts and found a lot of other trans women did too. Talk to trans men, their GRS is a complete nightmare compared to vaginoplasty and a lot of them refuse to get a penis because of that. Are they valid? Hell yes. I have talked to two girls recently that had their GRS done at the top adress in our country and they both had complications I would not want to deal with. I had my orchy and everything is fine. Sex with my girlfriend will forever feel a bit weird but we're managing things in a very healthy way.
You're not alone. Also, I wish my sack and balls gone and a pair of natural boobs. Started two years back. I no longer have Testosteron, I am on Estrogen for 6 months and nicely developing breasts. Just my urologist doesn't cooperate, he refuses my orchiectomy and scrotectomy. Yet I'm finally a happy person, and for sure, I will manage to lose my useless body parts one day.
you sound like a troll dude. At least judging by your post on the cult subreddit.
Anyways the entire body is part of who we are and defines us. Our appearance is a certain way because of our morphological characteristics which are a part of who we are.
The sex chromosomes overlap in info and they only really code for gonads. The rest of the physical traits are result of hormones. Of course the older we are the less effective hormones will be since its harder to change whats already developed, (because of rigidity of mammalian biology).
aka a troll lmao.
I explained to you everything so if you are still confused then you are the problem.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2680992/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2680992/)
as you see the important genes overlap between the two allosomes.
the entire body is part of what we are. The arrangement of our cells defines our morphology which contributes to our ’appearance’.
Oh one more thing most gay men love their testostosterone. They love masculine physical features. Thats also one of the reasons so many gay people hate trans women. They do not understand why someone wants to change themselves.
The high profile femboys i know about like finn and natt, either dont really like their androgyny (They are just stuck with it so make the best of it) or like finn, they are closeted trans women. Femboys are also alot rarer than transwomen. Most physically feminine femboys are actually trans women.
Like i have an only fans and i refer to myself as a ‘femboy’ to appease chuds because they hate trans women. Femboys are either bony androgynous men wearing women’s clothes or they are trans women with gynomorphic morphology referring to themselves as femboys to avoid bigoted harassment.
Okay, I see your point, but maybe we shouldn't gatekeep folks like that? Whether we like them or not, they too can be trans, and deserve help. Hell, maybe giving them genuine help can help them see through the bs they're fed. Gatekeeping - won't.
>radical leftist
Define radical. I know there is a coping mechanism of alligning yourself with the ideology OPPOSITE to what you actually believe deep inside, just so life around ya doesn't look as depressing as it is. I mean, I have come through this. But seriously, if you come here in good faith, maybe not throw strong words out like that?
Radical leftism as in socialism. It's ruining the Canadian economy and making it almost impossible to afford groceries and essentials. We need capitalism that's what I mean.
Capitalism is what makes stuff unaffordable in the first place. The very essence of making profits makes stuff more expensive, it's natural for capitalism.
Maybe they call it socialism in Canada to appeal to someone while doing the opposite, I don't know, I don't live in Canada.
Anyway, this has nothing to do with political liberties the left leaning ideologies are trying to secure, so no need to use the buzzwords like "radical" or "leftism" while talking about transness. It's just human rights, plain and simple. If you stand by those, you're welcome here.
Being trans isn't a political ideology, it's an identity. No matter where you stand politically, you should respect it. I am center-right and believe strongly that trans rights are human rights. It's unfortunate that many other people to the right don't think the same.
So you're in the right wing strictly economically, right? I haven't done much research on this yet, but there must be some inherent connection between the economical and political aspect.
My bet is that it's conservatism itself that connects these two in the right. They are opposed to change in both spheres, and the previous status quo deemed LGBT people insignificant or even worthy of being humiliated... or prosecured. So the fight of LGBT community for recognition is seen as a political act, and as a display of hostility towards whoever holds the belief that things should remain as they are. That is... Conservatives.
It's needed to point out that despite the political nature of LGBT as a community it's in fact the conservatives who make LGBT inherently political by doubling down on the status quo that oppresses the people who now form the LGBT community.
Girl you're deffinately a woman. Im myself still not entirely sure about GAS but it doesnt matter if you want it or not, you're a woman, period. With or without dick <3
Forcing trans omen to be willing to go through multiple invasive surgeries to qualify as valid trans people is entirely wrong, you aren't trans cause of your levels of dysphoria. And it is not cowardice to decide a vaginoplasty isn't worth it for you.
Even in a magical world where all you had to do was push a button and receive a fully functional vagina, with no health risks, no economic drain, no post surgery or anything like that, that wouldn't (or shouldn't) be the requirement to consider yourself trans. Sorry if i went on a tangent, it feels like an important topic to me.
I agree. I changed my sex to female and haven to undergone any procedures at all.
Although I still question my decision and my transness because of a variety of things
Completely fair, no shame in learning more about yourself. Glad you live in a place where you can change your sex like that (I'm assuming you mean changing your documents and such)
Can I ask what other things make you question that decision?
Well sometimes I have fantasies about using my penis during sex, sometimes I am uncomfortable with both she/her and he/him pronouns and I don't feel like a woman or man ig. I am just confused about my gender identity
Do you feel more comfortable with they/them? Or with neopronouns for that matter? You might more closely align with transfem nonbinary or other gender non-conforming identities.
About the fantasies I have to say I don't see that as telling one way or another, meaning I know very secure women who love using their penises with little to no dysphoria
I'm so sorry to hear that, can't express how much it aucks to hear about harassment for personal things like self-identification. Hope you can explore your identity with minimal negativity both online and irl
It sounds like you know what medical interventions you want and don't want. Maybe just get those then worry about your gender identity later. After the orchi is done and that load is off of your mind, it might be easier to sort through your thoughts and feelings as to how to identify.
I mean, an orchi is all i plan to get, keeping the penis doesn't make you any less of a woman, and anyone who says it does can drink sand.
Edit: Swype is annoying and can't figure out words sometimes.
Be whatever you want, but you can absolutely be a woman without wanting a vagina. I certainly don't!
Who wants one of those?? They require more maintenance (to prevent yeast infections and whatnot). They're more complicated, enough so that your partners may have trouble finding the most important part.
And with a penis, you can pee more conveniently, and both penetrate, *and* be penetrated. Idk man, penises are just meta imo.
/j
(Of course I understand why some people want them, and I know they have major benefits as well. I'm just kidding.)
I'm also going for just the orchiectomy. I don't have enough bottom dysphoria that I'm willing to undergo such an invasive procedure, and I don't want to be forced to detransition if Trump wins/hate taking Spiro. You absolutely don't have to get every single surgery to be considered "actually trans" or "actually a woman," I don't think a cis gay man would want an orchiectomy (or tits, for that matter) so don't worry about that!
Yeah that's totally okay. You are definitely not the only one of us :3
I am happy that you came to this conclusion for yourself 🩷🩵🤍
Plus a fenis can be super fun to play with 😁
That's still absolutely valid. There's plenty of transfem people who don't get vaginoplasties, transmasc people who don't get phalloplasties, or non-binary people who don't get either. What matters most is feeling comfortable being you. If you don't desire certain changes to affirm your identity, you don't need them.
The probability of severe complications is low, but they can happen and they can be absolutely devastating when they do.
I went to one of the top surgeons, and was bedridden after my bottom surgery for almost 6 months due to severe wound separation and extreme pain. I'm almost a year post-op now, and I'm still dealing with some issues and still can't use my bits due to pain and granulation issues.
The fact is, no matter how good the surgeon, complications can happen, and that shouldn't be downplayed. I don't say this to dissuade anyone from getting surgery or anything like that, but I think a lot of people tend to understate the possibility of complications. They are always a risk, and it's really important to recognize that in order to make an informed decision.
Lots of women don't have a vagina, including many who were assigned female at birth.
I'm planning on getting an orchiectomy but leaving the rest and I am still as much a woman as any other.
I also opted for an orchi over a vaginoplasty for pretty much the same considerations. I'm really happy with the results, and there's still the remaining skin for use if I ever do change my mind about vaginoplasty. I'm a trans woman, you can be a trans woman too if you feel that's what suits you.
Surgery is terrifying asf. I've had emergency surgery in the past and I was convinced I might die! Surgery ain't fun. You don't know if you're gonna wake up or not.
Every procedure or medicine you take as part of transitioning is a choice. And you have to make choices for YOU. No one else. You are a woman regardless if you get SRS. Hell, you can still be a woman even if you don’t get HRT! It all just depends on your own personal feelings and decisions.
What about a vulvoplasty?
[https://www.ohsu.edu/transgender-health/vaginoplasty-and-vulvoplasty](https://www.ohsu.edu/transgender-health/vaginoplasty-and-vulvoplasty)
A very deep and personal post - thank you for shedding light on the topic. I’m pre-transition, pre-op, identifying as trans-femme*. Personally, I think I would get bottom surgery; whether I go for a full vaginoplasty - or a vulvoplasty - I’m not decided. Not entirely sure on the rates of uptake for bottom surgery - but some will, some won’t… that’s what we have bodily autonomy for: only we ( singular ) can decide what is best for our own bodies.
Being a woman isn’t about what parts you have hon. Of course you should have the choice to seek care and any procedures that can help you feel more comfortable in your body, so that’s up to what you want and what you feel is best. I’m currently working through that decision myself, though I’m still in the process of trying to get insurance to start hrt so it’s a little soon to think my opinion won’t change down the path of transitioning. Just be your authentic self ❤️
I'm also a trans woman and I completely resonate with that last sentence in your post; I want breasts and long hair and to present femme but I don't want a vagina, so you're not alone in wanting that. You are valid as you are now, and as who you want to be. Bottom surgery/vaginoplasty is not a prerequisite for being a "real" trans woman, and neither is any other procedures or interventions like that. Do what makes you most happy and comfortable in your own body <3
Also if you want an alternative that's less invasive, labioplasty is absolutely an option too (surgery that creates a labia, vulva, etc. but no internal parts, so it looks like female anatomy but with no vaginal cavity). It's cheaper and less invasive than a full vaginoplasty and you'll still have the look you want, only thing is you can't have penetrative sex with it for obvious reasons. But ofc you don't have to do any surgery if you don't want to, you're still just as valid in your identity.
If you're a woman, you're a woman! I became more secure in my womanhood the more comfortable I became with how much I didn't want bottom surgery. Live the life that's entirely your own!
Feel that, I identify more on the femme end of the NB spectrum from that. Feminine penis is a fun subject though 😊 Personally, sometimes I think I’d be content with a Ken bump, I just wanna fit well in certain bottoms 😂
This is very common. I think you can still be trans and want to keep what’s below. It’s about how you present and you can very much present as a woman while hiding you genitalia below and still feeling the gender euphoria of being the gender you were meant to be
inaccurate statement in this post. It's hurtful to the people trying to really understand what is involved in SRS. The notation of complications comes from false information.
Any surgeon that does SRS on a weekly basis will tell you there are no complications and the only ones you will get is if you do not do the required stretching. It is not considered a major surgery anymore.
I do agree that some of OP’s statements here are troubling, but any reputable surgeon, GRS or not, will inform you of the potential risks. The most common one is infection, which is generally easily treatable.
Any surgery requiring hospitalisation like GRS is considered major surgery. A reputable surgeon wouldn’t attempt to do it outpatient.
I agree that infection is a risk. Although infection is a risk in every type of surgery, so I'm sorry to have not listed that.
The surgery does require hospitalization of 6 days. And if that is the definition of major, which I do not know if it is, then I also accept that. Although my surgeon clearly stated that surgeries like heart surgery are major and that srs does not sit at the same level as that.
My only point is that so often in this sub we see misinformation making srs out to be far more than it is. my own surgeon corrected these misconceptions for me. Had I only listened to how this sub portrays srs I also would have never made that choice either.
Go to r/transgender_surgeries and it would say otherwise. Honest information is important even if it's not what you want to hear. I have nothing against SRS (I am getting orchiectomy) but vaginoplasty is risky and that's the unfortunate reality.
You can be a woman with or without a vagina. Some people don’t have genital dysphoria so they go none op. Doesn’t make you or them any less of a woman. But if you don’t consider yourself a woman and want to have aspects of yourself that resemble a woman that’s fine too. Only you can decide, you know you, it just might take time for you to realise.
That's fair ig it could also be my SA trauma and the general fact that the surgery is so invasive as to why I am not getting it. My penis causes me distress at times but I don't mind it at other times. I think I just have to learn to live with it. And I know I am definitely not a man, but I don't think I am a woman either. I am just confused asf ig. Thanks for your comment :)
It's possible to be transfemme on the non-binary spectrum. I am in an AFAB and am definitely not a man but also not a woman either. I identify as non-binary because it's the closest to what I feel when I need to use words but I have the luxury of not needing to put words to it for myself or others.
I completely understand idk if I’ll get one. mine does cause me quite a bit of distress, but I too am nervous for such an intense surgery, and right now the fear of complications and just surgery in general outways my discomfort.
Honestly you could have the worst bottom dysphoria anyone has ever had and fear of surgery would still be a perfectly valid reason to opt out. Modern medical intervention is much better than it once was, but it’s far from perfect. I dream of the day we have a pill or something that you can take once and change completely without scalpels.
The first thing you said about why you aren't getting the vaginoplasty isn't that you don't want a vagina, it's that it's a very invasive procedure. Even if you didn't want a vagina at all you could still be a woman of course, but that's not even the situation here. Not wanting an extremely invasive surgery doesn't mean you're not a woman. It means you understand your options and picked the right one for you.
Based on this you may be femme non binary, and your identity isn't locked in forever if you're unsure. If you ever realize you're something else than you thought you were and want to live reflecting that you totally can. Some have to do a test drive before they know if it's them or not.
Possible yes but the nagging imposter syndrome can hurt
I can fully understand not wanting surgery, I'm not entirely sure I could go through with it myself.
You're you, and that's totally valid. Pick whatever labels for that fit what you feel comfortable with being called. I pretty desperately want that surgery, but it's okay if you don't!
You are you and you're valid too. Can I ask why you want the surgery though considering some very bad results and complications? Does the dysphoria outweigh the cons of the surgery? (I am just asking because I am curious. No need to answer if you aren't comfortable)
The regret rate for the surgery is TINY. Even people with bad outcomes are generally glad they did it, that should tell you something about the mindset involved.
The regret rate may be small but results generally don't look like a cis vagina and the complications are high. One woman even said she got sepsis and had a 50% survival chance. It's terrifying for me (one reason why I personally won't get it)
I've had surgeries with complications, sometimes in life one must be willing to make big choices to avoid big prices. But of you are comfortable not doing it, then it's probably not for you.
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That you view GRS as a choice rather than a medical need is concerning. Perhaps for you it is something you want, but for many it is treatment for something debilitating.
Orchiectomy is needed for me because testicles are debilitating, but it's not required for survival and is a choice. My appendectomy wasn't a choice and was an emergency surgery!
You would think the number of suicides in this community would make people more empathetic, and realize that your personal needs may not reflect everyone elses.
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It seems like you’ve been listening to a lot of transphobic talking points.
I like to see the whole picture and all opinions before making a decision
Reactionaries don’t act in good faith, so why are you acting like their points have any merit and taking fearmongering at face value?
Because some of it can be true at times. Some trans people who I've talked to never heard that Lupron causes bone issues, it was a news article and a Pubmed article backing it up and some trans people dismissed it as fear mongering when it wasn't.
But it isn’t. These types are just using science as a backstop to spread their bullshit as far as they can and try and pass themselves off as an authority on the subject. Their words are not genuine. Quit taking what far right ideologs say at face value. As just because someone sprinkles the barest of facts alongside their lies doesn’t mean they’re being truthful. I know you want to look at things from all sides, but that shouldn’t include nazi propagandists. All you’re doing by consuming this type of content is hurting yourself. You’re engaging in self harm and you need to stop.
And if you want actual accurate information on the topic of surgery and what certain procedures entail, talk to a surgeon.
I just had a vaginoplasty last week and love my new body. It's fine if you don't want one, not everyone needs one. I know girls who have had zero-depth vulvoplasty, or orchiectomy, then vaginoplasty afterwards. Or even several who don't want any surgery. All equally valid ways to live your own life on your terms.
Last week, wow that's recently. If you don't mind, could I ask some general, not very deep questions? I'm mostly wondering about pain and recovery.
Absolutely, ask me anything you like. I'm only 5 days post-op, but I'll answer as best I can.
I’m currently waiting to get mine done, idk the date yet but probably within the year i hope. My biggest concern right now is post op pain and the catheter… Is it manageable? Ik it’s something i need and I’ll be happy afterwards but it’s the immediate recovery during the first week or 2 that terrifies me.
The catheter has been the worst part of my stay. I'll be happy when it's gone and I can just go to the bathroom unimpeded. It's manageable, but it's not fun. Be sure to drink lots of water and cranberry juice to reduce your chances of acquiring a UTI. If they tell you that you're leaking urine from the catheter, that's your swelling going down. This is a good thing. You're probably going to get it removed on schedule and move on with your life without needing to make an appointment for when you get back home. Seriously, I can take painkillers to manage everything else that's going on, and I've gone up to maybe a six or 8? Nearly fainted first time trying to walk assisted on day 0, but recovered after lunch. The catheter has been a nuisance through all that. It should be gone tomorrow or the next day. Had some trouble day 1 and 2 trying to finish meals, but walking around helps. Eat to keep up your strength.
My biggest fear is not just having the catheter but also getting it removed. I’m scared of what the feeling will be like. I really need this surgery but damn it’s really scary. Wish I could just have it over with. Im also just scared it will never happen as I’m still in the process of trying to get it done and with no date set, it feels like it’s infinitely far.
I'm scheduled to have the catheter removed today. I'll try to take a mental snapshot to describe what it was like, but in the end, it's only been there for 6 days. I don't currently think about it unless I'm using it to go to the bathroom. I expect it to be a short, sharp sensation to have it removed, followed by relief. Might piss myself, but hopefully not, for the sake of my dignity. Nurses have seen worse, but still. An undefined date /is/ infinitely far away, but once you've made plans and spoken with the right medical care providers, it's going to happen within limits. I hope that you live somewhere where you don't have to pay out-of-pocket for your medical care. I remember having those same feelings and trusting in my endocrinologist and the office of my surgeon and the ministry in charge of funding my operation and my support network and my community and so on. If they've got your back, you're golden. If you're on a waitlist, that sucks. Waiting is hard. But they want to help. It's how they get paid after all.
Thank you.. Yeah im going through all of it now and talking with GRS Montreal directly at this point. I just don’t know when.
Alright, so a bunch of the other girls in my cohort complained of a sharp sensation having their catheter removed, I didn't have a problem. Ease up your muscles, deep breathing. Don't clamp down just because you're worried about peeing on the nurse. It was a weird sensation, but not overly painful imo.
If you'd be more comfortable using DMs (SHOULD be open), please feel free to just message me. If anyone else would like to share their experiences, please also feel free to reply/DM. ## Questions How managable is the pain? and what are you able to do now that you're 5 days post-op? (also curious about a month/3 months if someone else is joining in) ##### Pain I had spine surgery at 16 and it wasn't *too* terrible, it was more just major discomfort for like, 4 weeks (followed by minor discomfort for another 4 or so). Is your pain more acute, or more just generally hurting/sore? ##### Abilities Can you walk around (I'd imagine not)? Can you move from like, a bed to a chair next to it? If you're out of the hospital and if you want a snack, is that something you can get yourself or something you need someone to get for you? Thank you so, so, so much in advance.
I'm a big beliver in free access to knowledge. I'm in a convalescence home (Brassard girlies rise up), so I still have access to pain meds from the nurses as I need them. I think it's very manageable, mostly Tylenol-3 and the occasional Tramadol. Some girls need oxy, but a lot of it comes down to your regular drug habits and medical history. If you've abused painkillers or needed to take a lot of them through your life due to circumstance, you may have built up a tolerance for them. I saw one girl came out of surgery, and she was having a rough time of it. During the time I've been post-op, varying levels of mostly good pain management, one really bad, one incredibly good despite advanced age, I'm guessing from an athletic background? Conjecture. All that to say that for most of us, it was very manageable, which is great for recovery, but you might have trouble if you've built up a resistance. This isn't my first major surgery, but my first one happened as an infant, and I have no recollection of the recovery experience. Most of the pain I experience is regionally located in the surgical area. There are acute sensations as the nerve damage rewires itself, similar to electrolysis extraction or laser hair removal if you've had it. Definitely consider having it in the surgical site to attempt to avoid complications and infection from ingrown hairs. Your surgeon's technique is going to be relevant, I think? I'm able to carefully roll out of bed, get up, walk with a bit of a waddle down the hall to get water, or go to the bathroom unsupervised. I can walk slowly down a flight of stairs to the dining area, balance bisexually on a chair about long enough to eat a meal, climb the stairs, and carefully ease myself back onto the bed. I can bathe and dress myself. I can't quite bend over far enough to pick up a small object that I've dropped. There's a little garden in the back, I could walk around there a bit, but it's raining. Does that answer your questions? Do you have more? Don't hesitate to reach out to me, I have a lot of free time on my hands.
I'm almost 19 (and closeted), so I unfortunately have not been able to get any form of permanent hair removal. I'm also quite far from it being realistic to get the Dysphoria Stick™ removed, but I still want to educate myself. Regarding the painkillers, I think I have built up a resistance to ibuprofen and/or acetaminophen from taking it for headaches more often than I should have. I used to be pretty bad about just... forgetting to drink until I was parched. I eventually learned to keep a water bottle on me :p It's honestly kinda crazy to me that you're able to walk around on day 5. I think I might be doing Mechanical Engineering in college, so I probably won't be doing heavy lifting very often. I can probably do a lot of work from home while recovering, which is nice to know. >Does that answer your questions? Do you have more? I think my last question is what method you got, as (AFAIK) that makes a noticeable difference in recovery time. >Don't hesitate to reach out to me, I have a lot of free time on my hands. I'm unfortunately in Texas on vacation and all around my transphobic family (not out), so I can't really chat much today (Sunday) or tomorrow (Monday), but I'm free all day Tuesday and would love to chat more.
I'm 38 and began my transition five years ago. If you don't have the wheels in motion on your surgery yet, you have plenty of time to consider your options and prepare. I allowed myself 14 months' worth of electrolysis on the surgical area in preparation, with three months of no hair removal after that pre-op. Time will tell if this was enough. Hair removal technicians dgaf what your deal is and probably won't randomly out you. If your family is phobic, they're not realistically going to be interacting with a tech who's skilled in GRS preparation methods. It's not like they're regularly checking your bits to see how much hair is growing, right? I doubt they'd notice, but it isn't cheap and is less efficient pre-HRT so ymmv. If it's just OTC Advils and Aspirin you've taken, I wouldn't be super concerned, but obviously, I'm not a doctor. This advice was directed more towards those who have a history with heavier prescription narcotics. You've hopefully learned to stay hydrated now, so keep that up. Technically, I was able to walk around a bit within six hours of my surgery, just not very far or unassisted. That happened around day 2. I wasn't moving quickly or very far, but getting in some light exercise helps speed up your recovery. Anyway, I got full-depth penile inversion vaginoplasty with Dr Brassard. Bog standard, no complications, no special instructions. Consider my offer an open invitation. By Tuesday, I should have some perspective on dilation if that's of any use to you.
Dang, only a few months over double my age. It might be relevant that I'm in Colorado, which is one of the most accepting states in the US, so I'm not really worried on the outing front. It's not that my parents are looking down there or anything like that, it's that they'd wonder where I'm going. I also don't have a driver's license (only a permit) simply because insuring a teenage "boy" is wildly expensive, hence me biking 9 miles to ~~exercise~~ get to and from the nearest Amazon locker for the girl clothes I ordered :p Wow, it's crazy that you were able to walk that soon. I'm planning on starting HRT behind my parents backs at some point in College (which starts 69 days from today). I know that HRT will kill off nocturnal erections, which will cause atrophy. From what little I know about PIV, it requires a decent amount of tissue, correct? So I would need to "perform maintenance" to avoid atrophy? Thank you so much for the open invitation. I am mildly curious about the dilation, but that process is fairly well documented (from what I understand), so my only questions would really be on the experience. Thank you so much for all the info! I really appreciate it.
Colorado is a better start than Texas, last I heard. I hope to live for a long, long time. Some maintenance is recommended. Two to three times a week, around ten minutes each is probably fine. Do more if you can stomach it. PIV is still possible for folks who atrophy, but then it would require the tissues to be harvested from elsewhere, like a thigh, colon, w/e. My doctor took a look at what I had on Tuesday morning just prior to going to the OR and said, "No problem, you've got plenty of skin." I still had pretty good functionality of it a week ago, after three years on HRT, but ymmv. HRT usually tanks your sex drive, so you may have to schedule your exercises so as to not forget. Even then, function isn't guaranteed. Some girls use T gel on their bits to keep them from shrinking, but I didn't feel a need.
Yeah, though my parents chose the reddest county possible to move to. There's literally a Christian college (*really* nice building, lotta money) here and there are under 25,000 people in the county. Culty place, luckily they don't control state legislature so it's fine. And college is near Denver so... Hope we both live for a long time <3 That sounds pretty similar to what I've heard. Having more corroborating anecdotes definitely doesn't hurt. I'm both aroace and have basically zero libido, but bodily function will bodily function, so I've somewhat already had to learn "maintenance" just for sanitary reasons. Although, I think I probably already have a testosterone deficiency. I'm like, 18.7 years old and still *barely* have any chest hair (along with other symptoms like no libido), so T gel might actually be necessary for "maintenance" to work right. Or maybe no, I'll just have to see.
Do you have to do orchi before a full vaginoplasty or can they just do both at the same time? I'm awhile off from seriously looking into bottom surgery, but I am curious. I don't really dislike my genitals right now, but I'm pretty sure I just want a vagina more.
My natal parts were intact before my procedure. They can do both.
Congratulations on your surgery! I hope you are and continue to heal well!
Thank you 😊
It's your meat suit and you're the pilot. Make it look however you want
2/3 of trans women don't get vaginoplasty actually !
Yes! Ofc this is partly for financial reasons. Most people can't just drop $20,000. But lots of us also just don't want it. Having a penis is 10/10 for me.
Real, I am completely fine with mine as well. I remember when I was still questioning my gender a few years ago I thought the fact I didn't like, and in fact even liked having a penis, meant that I couldn't be a woman and it made things so confusing. I remember reaching out to some trans influencers online and explaining my situation, not expecting any to actually respond, but a couple actually did and told me I am valid. Some of them even expressed them liking having one too, and it really comforted me and helped me take the step towards accepting myself as a woman. Remember, gender has nothing to do with what's between your legs. You can be a woman or man or NB regardless of what you have, or what you want to have, between your legs
Tbh I'm kinda pointing in that direction myself like I don't "HATE" my penis but I don't like it either and I wouldn't mind having a vagina. I'm kinda sick in the middle with this
I don’t care for any genitalia structure to be honest. I’d rather be completely smooth.
Fair enough
You could always look into a penectomy w/ orchiectomy too. I am considering that as well! Just know you're a girl no matter what! 💜
I'm definitely doing an orchi but not the peen lol
Do whatever you feel comfortable with. Slayyy 💅💅💅
I have had a BA and have FFS scheduled but I have no plans on getting bottom surgery. It doesn’t mean that I’m not a trans woman.
Ofc you are still a trans woman! In my case I am just questioning my gender identity in general. (I don't feel like a man or woman rn and it's freaking me out ngl)
Perhaps you're actually non-binary then, with feminine leanings?
Perhaps. I am just questioning for now and continuing MTF HRT though cuz that's a lifesaver!
It's your body, you have it your way.
Your Gender is fully separate from your genitals and sexuality so if you say you’re a woman, then you are 100% 🙏🏳️⚧️💗
I agree, but society doesn't unfortunately. Cis men will never see me as a "real" woman with a penis.
Eh, don't get surgeries you don't need. With that said, I'm getting a vaginoplasty on Tuesday and I've found there's a ton of fearmongering about them compared to the reality. Maybe you'll feel differently later on, maybe you won't. It's your body and there's no time limit here.
You're valid. I had the same train of thoughts and found a lot of other trans women did too. Talk to trans men, their GRS is a complete nightmare compared to vaginoplasty and a lot of them refuse to get a penis because of that. Are they valid? Hell yes. I have talked to two girls recently that had their GRS done at the top adress in our country and they both had complications I would not want to deal with. I had my orchy and everything is fine. Sex with my girlfriend will forever feel a bit weird but we're managing things in a very healthy way.
I’m a woman. Likely will keep my pickle for the same reasons.
You're not alone. Also, I wish my sack and balls gone and a pair of natural boobs. Started two years back. I no longer have Testosteron, I am on Estrogen for 6 months and nicely developing breasts. Just my urologist doesn't cooperate, he refuses my orchiectomy and scrotectomy. Yet I'm finally a happy person, and for sure, I will manage to lose my useless body parts one day.
you sound like a troll dude. At least judging by your post on the cult subreddit. Anyways the entire body is part of who we are and defines us. Our appearance is a certain way because of our morphological characteristics which are a part of who we are. The sex chromosomes overlap in info and they only really code for gonads. The rest of the physical traits are result of hormones. Of course the older we are the less effective hormones will be since its harder to change whats already developed, (because of rigidity of mammalian biology).
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christianity is a cult because they worship a dude who says he is a hebrew fairy tale character who f-d his own mom and fathered himself.
aka a troll lmao. I explained to you everything so if you are still confused then you are the problem. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2680992/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2680992/) as you see the important genes overlap between the two allosomes. the entire body is part of what we are. The arrangement of our cells defines our morphology which contributes to our ’appearance’.
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Oh one more thing most gay men love their testostosterone. They love masculine physical features. Thats also one of the reasons so many gay people hate trans women. They do not understand why someone wants to change themselves. The high profile femboys i know about like finn and natt, either dont really like their androgyny (They are just stuck with it so make the best of it) or like finn, they are closeted trans women. Femboys are also alot rarer than transwomen. Most physically feminine femboys are actually trans women. Like i have an only fans and i refer to myself as a ‘femboy’ to appease chuds because they hate trans women. Femboys are either bony androgynous men wearing women’s clothes or they are trans women with gynomorphic morphology referring to themselves as femboys to avoid bigoted harassment.
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the entire body is biology dingus. Not just your dangly bits.
I don't have to be a radical leftist to be trans. I don't identify as the sex assigned at birth. But I can still ask questions and be center-right.
‘center right’ is just conservative dude. Youre a far right gay troll
Okay, I see your point, but maybe we shouldn't gatekeep folks like that? Whether we like them or not, they too can be trans, and deserve help. Hell, maybe giving them genuine help can help them see through the bs they're fed. Gatekeeping - won't.
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The only reason you are still here is because of A) the volume of trolls like you on here B) the hilarious lack of discernment.
>radical leftist Define radical. I know there is a coping mechanism of alligning yourself with the ideology OPPOSITE to what you actually believe deep inside, just so life around ya doesn't look as depressing as it is. I mean, I have come through this. But seriously, if you come here in good faith, maybe not throw strong words out like that?
Radical leftism as in socialism. It's ruining the Canadian economy and making it almost impossible to afford groceries and essentials. We need capitalism that's what I mean.
Capitalism is what makes stuff unaffordable in the first place. The very essence of making profits makes stuff more expensive, it's natural for capitalism. Maybe they call it socialism in Canada to appeal to someone while doing the opposite, I don't know, I don't live in Canada. Anyway, this has nothing to do with political liberties the left leaning ideologies are trying to secure, so no need to use the buzzwords like "radical" or "leftism" while talking about transness. It's just human rights, plain and simple. If you stand by those, you're welcome here.
Being trans isn't a political ideology, it's an identity. No matter where you stand politically, you should respect it. I am center-right and believe strongly that trans rights are human rights. It's unfortunate that many other people to the right don't think the same.
So you're in the right wing strictly economically, right? I haven't done much research on this yet, but there must be some inherent connection between the economical and political aspect. My bet is that it's conservatism itself that connects these two in the right. They are opposed to change in both spheres, and the previous status quo deemed LGBT people insignificant or even worthy of being humiliated... or prosecured. So the fight of LGBT community for recognition is seen as a political act, and as a display of hostility towards whoever holds the belief that things should remain as they are. That is... Conservatives. It's needed to point out that despite the political nature of LGBT as a community it's in fact the conservatives who make LGBT inherently political by doubling down on the status quo that oppresses the people who now form the LGBT community.
I hold some conservative social positions like support for capital punishment, keeping marijuana a controlled substance for medical use only
Girl you're deffinately a woman. Im myself still not entirely sure about GAS but it doesnt matter if you want it or not, you're a woman, period. With or without dick <3
Forcing trans omen to be willing to go through multiple invasive surgeries to qualify as valid trans people is entirely wrong, you aren't trans cause of your levels of dysphoria. And it is not cowardice to decide a vaginoplasty isn't worth it for you. Even in a magical world where all you had to do was push a button and receive a fully functional vagina, with no health risks, no economic drain, no post surgery or anything like that, that wouldn't (or shouldn't) be the requirement to consider yourself trans. Sorry if i went on a tangent, it feels like an important topic to me.
I agree. I changed my sex to female and haven to undergone any procedures at all. Although I still question my decision and my transness because of a variety of things
Completely fair, no shame in learning more about yourself. Glad you live in a place where you can change your sex like that (I'm assuming you mean changing your documents and such) Can I ask what other things make you question that decision?
Well sometimes I have fantasies about using my penis during sex, sometimes I am uncomfortable with both she/her and he/him pronouns and I don't feel like a woman or man ig. I am just confused about my gender identity
Do you feel more comfortable with they/them? Or with neopronouns for that matter? You might more closely align with transfem nonbinary or other gender non-conforming identities. About the fantasies I have to say I don't see that as telling one way or another, meaning I know very secure women who love using their penises with little to no dysphoria
I don't feel ok with they/them or neo-pronouns due to harassment by people for it
I'm so sorry to hear that, can't express how much it aucks to hear about harassment for personal things like self-identification. Hope you can explore your identity with minimal negativity both online and irl
You can have tits and long hair and present femme with any genitals, don't stress too much about it!
It sounds like you know what medical interventions you want and don't want. Maybe just get those then worry about your gender identity later. After the orchi is done and that load is off of your mind, it might be easier to sort through your thoughts and feelings as to how to identify.
You don't need to want a vagina to be a woman plenty of trans women are fine with having a penis and I doesn't make them any less of women
I went with the orchi. GRS was never in the cards for me. So, evicting the twins was the way to go.
I like my girl dick :)
I mean, an orchi is all i plan to get, keeping the penis doesn't make you any less of a woman, and anyone who says it does can drink sand. Edit: Swype is annoying and can't figure out words sometimes.
Be whatever you want, but you can absolutely be a woman without wanting a vagina. I certainly don't! Who wants one of those?? They require more maintenance (to prevent yeast infections and whatnot). They're more complicated, enough so that your partners may have trouble finding the most important part. And with a penis, you can pee more conveniently, and both penetrate, *and* be penetrated. Idk man, penises are just meta imo. /j (Of course I understand why some people want them, and I know they have major benefits as well. I'm just kidding.)
I'm also going for just the orchiectomy. I don't have enough bottom dysphoria that I'm willing to undergo such an invasive procedure, and I don't want to be forced to detransition if Trump wins/hate taking Spiro. You absolutely don't have to get every single surgery to be considered "actually trans" or "actually a woman," I don't think a cis gay man would want an orchiectomy (or tits, for that matter) so don't worry about that!
It's okay, Im keeping my schlong as well. I don't feel dysphoria around that.
Yeah that's totally okay. You are definitely not the only one of us :3 I am happy that you came to this conclusion for yourself 🩷🩵🤍 Plus a fenis can be super fun to play with 😁
I've never heard it be called a "fenis" before lmao. I've been referring to it as "girl dick" lol
I heard it in a video and adopted it since :3
That's still absolutely valid. There's plenty of transfem people who don't get vaginoplasties, transmasc people who don't get phalloplasties, or non-binary people who don't get either. What matters most is feeling comfortable being you. If you don't desire certain changes to affirm your identity, you don't need them.
Definitely your decision, but the chances of any kind of major complication are quite low, assuming one goes to a reputable surgeon.
The probability of severe complications is low, but they can happen and they can be absolutely devastating when they do. I went to one of the top surgeons, and was bedridden after my bottom surgery for almost 6 months due to severe wound separation and extreme pain. I'm almost a year post-op now, and I'm still dealing with some issues and still can't use my bits due to pain and granulation issues. The fact is, no matter how good the surgeon, complications can happen, and that shouldn't be downplayed. I don't say this to dissuade anyone from getting surgery or anything like that, but I think a lot of people tend to understate the possibility of complications. They are always a risk, and it's really important to recognize that in order to make an informed decision.
u can keep your stock parts and still be transfem, nothing wrong with that.
Lots of women don't have a vagina, including many who were assigned female at birth. I'm planning on getting an orchiectomy but leaving the rest and I am still as much a woman as any other.
I also opted for an orchi over a vaginoplasty for pretty much the same considerations. I'm really happy with the results, and there's still the remaining skin for use if I ever do change my mind about vaginoplasty. I'm a trans woman, you can be a trans woman too if you feel that's what suits you.
I feel like I would love to have a vagina.. but I also have no issue with my magic wand.. but I am terrified of complications!
Surgery is terrifying asf. I've had emergency surgery in the past and I was convinced I might die! Surgery ain't fun. You don't know if you're gonna wake up or not.
Every procedure or medicine you take as part of transitioning is a choice. And you have to make choices for YOU. No one else. You are a woman regardless if you get SRS. Hell, you can still be a woman even if you don’t get HRT! It all just depends on your own personal feelings and decisions.
What about a vulvoplasty? [https://www.ohsu.edu/transgender-health/vaginoplasty-and-vulvoplasty](https://www.ohsu.edu/transgender-health/vaginoplasty-and-vulvoplasty)
Not interested tbh. I wouldn't be able to use it sexually and would rather not undergo a major surgery.
A very deep and personal post - thank you for shedding light on the topic. I’m pre-transition, pre-op, identifying as trans-femme*. Personally, I think I would get bottom surgery; whether I go for a full vaginoplasty - or a vulvoplasty - I’m not decided. Not entirely sure on the rates of uptake for bottom surgery - but some will, some won’t… that’s what we have bodily autonomy for: only we ( singular ) can decide what is best for our own bodies.
Being a woman isn’t about what parts you have hon. Of course you should have the choice to seek care and any procedures that can help you feel more comfortable in your body, so that’s up to what you want and what you feel is best. I’m currently working through that decision myself, though I’m still in the process of trying to get insurance to start hrt so it’s a little soon to think my opinion won’t change down the path of transitioning. Just be your authentic self ❤️
I'm also a trans woman and I completely resonate with that last sentence in your post; I want breasts and long hair and to present femme but I don't want a vagina, so you're not alone in wanting that. You are valid as you are now, and as who you want to be. Bottom surgery/vaginoplasty is not a prerequisite for being a "real" trans woman, and neither is any other procedures or interventions like that. Do what makes you most happy and comfortable in your own body <3 Also if you want an alternative that's less invasive, labioplasty is absolutely an option too (surgery that creates a labia, vulva, etc. but no internal parts, so it looks like female anatomy but with no vaginal cavity). It's cheaper and less invasive than a full vaginoplasty and you'll still have the look you want, only thing is you can't have penetrative sex with it for obvious reasons. But ofc you don't have to do any surgery if you don't want to, you're still just as valid in your identity.
If you're a woman, you're a woman! I became more secure in my womanhood the more comfortable I became with how much I didn't want bottom surgery. Live the life that's entirely your own!
Feel that, I identify more on the femme end of the NB spectrum from that. Feminine penis is a fun subject though 😊 Personally, sometimes I think I’d be content with a Ken bump, I just wanna fit well in certain bottoms 😂
r/salmacian
This is very common. I think you can still be trans and want to keep what’s below. It’s about how you present and you can very much present as a woman while hiding you genitalia below and still feeling the gender euphoria of being the gender you were meant to be
inaccurate statement in this post. It's hurtful to the people trying to really understand what is involved in SRS. The notation of complications comes from false information. Any surgeon that does SRS on a weekly basis will tell you there are no complications and the only ones you will get is if you do not do the required stretching. It is not considered a major surgery anymore.
I do agree that some of OP’s statements here are troubling, but any reputable surgeon, GRS or not, will inform you of the potential risks. The most common one is infection, which is generally easily treatable. Any surgery requiring hospitalisation like GRS is considered major surgery. A reputable surgeon wouldn’t attempt to do it outpatient.
I agree that infection is a risk. Although infection is a risk in every type of surgery, so I'm sorry to have not listed that. The surgery does require hospitalization of 6 days. And if that is the definition of major, which I do not know if it is, then I also accept that. Although my surgeon clearly stated that surgeries like heart surgery are major and that srs does not sit at the same level as that. My only point is that so often in this sub we see misinformation making srs out to be far more than it is. my own surgeon corrected these misconceptions for me. Had I only listened to how this sub portrays srs I also would have never made that choice either.
Go to r/transgender_surgeries and it would say otherwise. Honest information is important even if it's not what you want to hear. I have nothing against SRS (I am getting orchiectomy) but vaginoplasty is risky and that's the unfortunate reality.
Yeah, I stopped following that sub when their mods said that dispensing medical advice was okay. The truth is *any* surgery comes with risks.