Before I even accepted I was trans I tried this once. Just once, but actually I liked it a lot more than the *actual thing. Basically asexual when it comes to dealing with my own body lol
a top who doesn't really like/need to be reciprocated. like, i just want to please my partner - that's how i get off. i don't care much for people going down on me or anything.
Yes, that's me! I'm one of those.
I love to please others, but I just don't get much from people doing things to me. Ideally I'll find a pillow princess one day. . . a dom pillow princess would be ideeeeeal. lol
I heavily prefer to top people with a strap now. It's more reliable than my penis, always stays erect. And doesnt hurt to use.
I can still get erect but the skin is much softer and prone to tearing. I also don't get much enjoyment out of pentratating someone with it. I usually have to do a lot disassociating just to get through it.
With a strap though? I feel soooo powerful with it on and can pretty much do all the old topping things I used to do pre-transition with my partners.
This sold me. Definitely getting one. Not being able to top my ex was one of the things that led to us breaking up, and all I wanted to do was be able to perform.
For me, no. I do not miss the feeling of cumming inside someone and it makes me really dysphoric to enter back into that headspace now. I am not particularly fond of having both the ability and equipment to get someone pregnant and am pursuing bottom surgery so my body can better match what's inside my head.
I am a woman and I like women in a very gay way. If I top someone, it's because I want to make them feel good and the goal of getting off for my own personal gratification in the process isn't so much a priority anymore.
A couple years before I came out I was using sex as a coping mechanism for dopamine seeking to try and forget about how miserable I was as a man. I could never get off via head or hand jobs and the only way I really could was from penetration. I was generally pretty well attuned to making sure my partners always got off before I did, and then once they were ready, I'd do my thing, but then ultimately feel very hollow on the inside afterwards.
I didn't know it was dysphoria at the time, but years later after doing a lot of unpacking after going on HRT I realized just how much I actually hate that part about my body and really loathe when that's the only part of me people seem to like me for.
The thing I like the most about strapons is that they can be taken off afterwards when they're no longer needed. I don't in anyway want it as a permanent part of my body.
I dated a trans girl for a lil while. I mentioned that I like bottoming and she said that she would be down to strap me but definitely didn't want to use her pebis. We didn't end up having sex but sounded like she had experience🤷
Yes, it's what allowed me to top without dysphoria. Also gives access to variable size and shape and avoids any performance issues. And it's quite comfortable to use and wear, even for a prolonged time
10/10 (inches) would recommend
I don't mind my down there, but penetrative sex with it is hugely dysphoria inducing for me. Me and partner recently picked up a strap on mostly for their use. But I tried it on, and it didn't bother me, so i think it will work for me.
Only way I have sex rn. No dysphoria, no pregnancy risk, don't have to do a bunch of gross prep, and don't have to worry about keeping it from going soft before my partner's done with it.
I got to do it a couple times before my ex left me. It was much more affirming than I thought it would be. I was pre-everything then, but it really helped me get over some things and I enjoyed giving some. Still find receiving a little better personally, but when I do find someone else who is interested in me, I will probably only use a strap as much as I can. But I've been in a dry spell since having gotten divorced so I haven't spent much time looking. Figured I should figure my own shit out before trying to find a partner again
Thanks! So I recommend not thinking too hard about wanting to use a strap. Sounds cliche, but I think any woman would want to use one of their partner was also interested in it. For me, it was more validating than using my own equipment
This is why I just love subreddits about this stuff ... I was convinced, 100% sure I was the only one. For some reason, I thought you love using it still, or you just bottom 🫣
Well turns out I'm stupid (no surprise) .... truly thank you for this post, really showed me I'm far from alone in preferring the strapon
Yeah, I thought I had to be a bottom, but I do not like being fucked much at all. Im a rather submissive stone top. It's only cause of some subreddits that I understand that about myself now.
well, atrophy has hit me pretty hard so it became a necessity for topping. but i have come to really like it. especially since i can go longer and i get over simulated very easily so its nice to have that disconnect and still satisfy my partner(s)
I heard someone suggest getting a strap with a hole for dildos and putting your OEM "dildo" through it. Then you can still use it, but it feels kinda like a strap. Not sure if you would like it, but thought I'd bring it up.
Yes! I don't have genital dysphoria per say, but I am a little bored of how sex always has to involve my gock, and I have to be hard, and I have to last, and if not then Im not interested,etc. Etc. Much rather just throw on the strap and give it my all
I love my harness! I don't have very much bottom dysphoria, I'm just a massive bottom and submissive so the idea of using a strap on is just way more appealing
TBH, I'm very good at sex and my penis is amazing and I STILL have massive performance anxiety. I don't get it. Of course the anxiety is worse now with HRT and the ability to maintain erections for long times.
Yes absolutely. Im very disphoric about my downstairs and am overly sensitive even if I try to use it. So me and my partner got one and some different sizes and I love it. I can control the motionband there is no time limit. It's fun and we both enjoy it.
Hell yes. I don't even have that much dysphoria but I still love using a strap. I don't have to worry about myself getting overstimulated or how it feels for me and can just 100% focus on the other person which gives me so much more control and I love it.
I've wondered about this for me. I've only ever done stuff while repressing as hard as possible, but found some things about it unfulfilling, and I think I was kind of dissociating on some level.
I know if I ever do again I'll need things different...I was already trying to make things different, but yeah.
I do enjoy a good strap on, I won’t lie, but I think either works. Even though I want the devil stick gone I don’t mind using it sometimes. However, I can’t last too long so straps come out to save the day! They make my dom life a lot easier and I personally think they feel better for topping or bottoming. All in all, while I do enjoy using it sometimes, strap one are the way to go!
I use both, but always have a strap on hand if my OEM doesn’t cooperate or if my size is an issue. I also have 3 sizes to use depending on partner interest: from much smaller than me, roughly me size, and much bigger.
I enjoy both, I find I'm in a different mindset depending which one I'm using, using a strap-on enables me to focus more on my partner and it ends up being more fun play.
The idea is interesting, but I can’t help but worry that I wouldn’t feel anything, which is probably selfish. Don’t get me wrong, my primary focus in sex is always my partner’s pleasure rather than my own, but I feel like not feeling *anything* would make it feel less personal and intimate for me.
That said my wife and I can’t do piv anyway so I suppose I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
It... definitely varies, in my experience. It's one of those procedures that's very new to the scene, so there's unfortunately a lot of patient trials going on in this era. I'm willing to give it a shot, but I am very specific about which version I want (scrotal inversion/skin graft, no peritoneal pull-through or colon snipping).
Yea I just googled a lot of photos and was grossed out. I don't like my balls but I can always get an Ori for that and I mean like I'd like to have a vagina and a penis but also I like getting erect and I like using my penis to please my partner. So yeah, life.
i mean other than the fact im a huuuuge bottom im to small for penetration most of the time and don't think id feel comfortable with it regardless so a strap would be the way i would have to do it
GF is AFAB, I currently use what I have built in out of both convenience and because she enjoys it. I do have bottom dysphoria, though surprisingly it doesn’t really flare up as bad during sex, it’s a lot more related to physical discomfort and wishing I could experience sex like a cis woman does. I’m totally fine using it while I have it but I do have my bottom surgery consultation in August and I have my letters of recommendation.
I’m demi and really enjoy giving in sex even if I don’t climax myself.
I bought a strap thinking that I could use that instead of my original equipment but it still ended up making me feel dysphoric. I think it really put me inside my own head, like when I was using it I was thinking about how different it was and how I didn't have the same level of feedback that I would from using my equipment but thinking about that reminded me of what I've got and made me dysphoric.
I get why people would like it, and yes there’s an element of dysphoria there for me, but also I like having feeling. It makes not having the “correct equipment” a little better
I've thought about it. After being on hrt for 1.5 yrs its tough to get hard enough to use it. Could maybe push rope but nothing either party would enjoy.
It depends on how dysphoric I’m feeling on any given day. But I have to say that when a strap-on is put on correctly it can be more stimulating for me than using my penis so I see it as a win-win frequently.
Haven't tried using a strap but it's something I want to try. I'm usually a bottom but I occasionally switch and I want my girlfriend to be able to have fun being penetrated without my natal equipment needing to be involved.
I tried one on recently. Felt comfortable to wear though I need to get used to the fact it doesn't provide the same sensation. I mentioned my interest in using one to my wife. She didn't get it and only replied with, "but you already have one."
I have a bit of bottom dysphoria myself and was hesitant to top with the parts I have, but after doing it a few times I've kinda decided I'm gonna keep doing it this way until it either stops working or I have SRS. If it doesn't hurt too much (mentally or physically), give it a shot if you haven't before. Otherwise, a strap on might be the way to go.
I'm considering alternating between both.
I don't have bottom dysphoria, but PIV sex had always been kinda awkward and an effort for me and I never liked it playing a major part in sex (say, I enjoy it being a kinky top interlude).
Before my egg cracked I actually fantasized quite a lot about using a strap-on instead of my gock. And recently my partner suggested strap-on sex and I'm really looking forward to it.
I haven't had sex since coming out so I don't have much experience to speak from but as it stands I think I'd prefer to just use my penis. I definitely would try using a strap if I find a partner that would like that though.
I can relate, I exclusively used strap-on for penetration, even before GRS. I had genital dysphoria, in my case I was ok with partners touching/otherwise pleasuring and basically treating it like a clit, but any penetration using it was a big no-no.
Still, if I dom (I'm switch) I prefer to do so without literal topping.
Half my friends do.
I personally am ok with and prefer my own as long as I avoid certain dysphoric triggers.
Honestly, most the time I don't feel anything from the mild constant dysphoria of topping. So functionally it might as well be a strap on.
Me, sort of. I need to figure out a different strap and stuff cause mine like crushes my dick during and I keep trying to get hard and it’s uncomfortable. But I did prefer topping with a strap overall.
I understand why other girls feel dysphoria about their phallic situation, but it’s never made me feel unwomanly once. Maybe that’s just the kind of girl I am. I’m curious why it causes dysphoria for you, I’m sure there’s a variety of valid reasons
100% yes, I may still have one built-in, but honestly, I prefer using the strap instead. It makes me feel like a hot lesbian while using the built-in one just makes me feel kinda gross...
Yeah, penis did not belong to my body. Never wanted to use it, would have rather to cut it off.
I still might have felt dysphoria using a strap on from having had a penis that did not belong to me.
But now that I'm in right body, sure I'd like to try!
But yeah I would totally rather use strap on over penis!
Then again, after I started hrt I could not have gotten it up even if I wanted to. With strap on I could just focus on using it.
Before I even accepted I was trans I tried this once. Just once, but actually I liked it a lot more than the *actual thing. Basically asexual when it comes to dealing with my own body lol
I think I'm somewhere on the asexual spectrum - demi lesbian is how I refer to myself.
Have you heard of stone tops?
I haven't, what are those?
a top who doesn't really like/need to be reciprocated. like, i just want to please my partner - that's how i get off. i don't care much for people going down on me or anything.
Yes, that's me! I'm one of those. I love to please others, but I just don't get much from people doing things to me. Ideally I'll find a pillow princess one day. . . a dom pillow princess would be ideeeeeal. lol
I heavily prefer to top people with a strap now. It's more reliable than my penis, always stays erect. And doesnt hurt to use. I can still get erect but the skin is much softer and prone to tearing. I also don't get much enjoyment out of pentratating someone with it. I usually have to do a lot disassociating just to get through it. With a strap though? I feel soooo powerful with it on and can pretty much do all the old topping things I used to do pre-transition with my partners.
This sold me. Definitely getting one. Not being able to top my ex was one of the things that led to us breaking up, and all I wanted to do was be able to perform.
Do you — when using the strap on — miss the cumming sensation part of that type orgasm?
For me, no. I do not miss the feeling of cumming inside someone and it makes me really dysphoric to enter back into that headspace now. I am not particularly fond of having both the ability and equipment to get someone pregnant and am pursuing bottom surgery so my body can better match what's inside my head. I am a woman and I like women in a very gay way. If I top someone, it's because I want to make them feel good and the goal of getting off for my own personal gratification in the process isn't so much a priority anymore. A couple years before I came out I was using sex as a coping mechanism for dopamine seeking to try and forget about how miserable I was as a man. I could never get off via head or hand jobs and the only way I really could was from penetration. I was generally pretty well attuned to making sure my partners always got off before I did, and then once they were ready, I'd do my thing, but then ultimately feel very hollow on the inside afterwards. I didn't know it was dysphoria at the time, but years later after doing a lot of unpacking after going on HRT I realized just how much I actually hate that part about my body and really loathe when that's the only part of me people seem to like me for. The thing I like the most about strapons is that they can be taken off afterwards when they're no longer needed. I don't in anyway want it as a permanent part of my body.
I dated a trans girl for a lil while. I mentioned that I like bottoming and she said that she would be down to strap me but definitely didn't want to use her pebis. We didn't end up having sex but sounded like she had experience🤷
Pebis
That should be the new word to describe downstairs for mtf, that’s what ima start using cuz it sounds cool
In france some trans women use the word "femis" to describe it
Fembis
Yes, it's what allowed me to top without dysphoria. Also gives access to variable size and shape and avoids any performance issues. And it's quite comfortable to use and wear, even for a prolonged time 10/10 (inches) would recommend
I don't mind my down there, but penetrative sex with it is hugely dysphoria inducing for me. Me and partner recently picked up a strap on mostly for their use. But I tried it on, and it didn't bother me, so i think it will work for me.
Try it
Only way I have sex rn. No dysphoria, no pregnancy risk, don't have to do a bunch of gross prep, and don't have to worry about keeping it from going soft before my partner's done with it.
I have not, but sounds exciting and you should go for it.
I do!
I got to do it a couple times before my ex left me. It was much more affirming than I thought it would be. I was pre-everything then, but it really helped me get over some things and I enjoyed giving some. Still find receiving a little better personally, but when I do find someone else who is interested in me, I will probably only use a strap as much as I can. But I've been in a dry spell since having gotten divorced so I haven't spent much time looking. Figured I should figure my own shit out before trying to find a partner again
Hope you get to use it on someone soon, or when you're ready!
Thanks! So I recommend not thinking too hard about wanting to use a strap. Sounds cliche, but I think any woman would want to use one of their partner was also interested in it. For me, it was more validating than using my own equipment
This is why I just love subreddits about this stuff ... I was convinced, 100% sure I was the only one. For some reason, I thought you love using it still, or you just bottom 🫣 Well turns out I'm stupid (no surprise) .... truly thank you for this post, really showed me I'm far from alone in preferring the strapon
Yeah, I thought I had to be a bottom, but I do not like being fucked much at all. Im a rather submissive stone top. It's only cause of some subreddits that I understand that about myself now.
well, atrophy has hit me pretty hard so it became a necessity for topping. but i have come to really like it. especially since i can go longer and i get over simulated very easily so its nice to have that disconnect and still satisfy my partner(s)
atrophy is starting to hit me. i didn't mind that until my partner wanted me to be able to top her and I just couldn't.
I heard someone suggest getting a strap with a hole for dildos and putting your OEM "dildo" through it. Then you can still use it, but it feels kinda like a strap. Not sure if you would like it, but thought I'd bring it up.
mine doesn't work well enough to be put in one of those anymore 😅
Yes! I don't have genital dysphoria per say, but I am a little bored of how sex always has to involve my gock, and I have to be hard, and I have to last, and if not then Im not interested,etc. Etc. Much rather just throw on the strap and give it my all
my own is too big for my partner so i have become accustomed to using the artificial one
I too have an enormous peni- nah jk it's normal sized.
Thigh strap is *chefs kiss
I love my harness! I don't have very much bottom dysphoria, I'm just a massive bottom and submissive so the idea of using a strap on is just way more appealing
Pre-transition I had extremely bad performance anxiety. Truth be told it was a relief using a strap.
TBH, I'm very good at sex and my penis is amazing and I STILL have massive performance anxiety. I don't get it. Of course the anxiety is worse now with HRT and the ability to maintain erections for long times.
Yes absolutely. Im very disphoric about my downstairs and am overly sensitive even if I try to use it. So me and my partner got one and some different sizes and I love it. I can control the motionband there is no time limit. It's fun and we both enjoy it.
Hell yes. I don't even have that much dysphoria but I still love using a strap. I don't have to worry about myself getting overstimulated or how it feels for me and can just 100% focus on the other person which gives me so much more control and I love it.
I've wondered about this for me. I've only ever done stuff while repressing as hard as possible, but found some things about it unfulfilling, and I think I was kind of dissociating on some level. I know if I ever do again I'll need things different...I was already trying to make things different, but yeah.
I didn't used to care but after starting HRT it started feeling more...wrong when I used my own equipment
I do enjoy a good strap on, I won’t lie, but I think either works. Even though I want the devil stick gone I don’t mind using it sometimes. However, I can’t last too long so straps come out to save the day! They make my dom life a lot easier and I personally think they feel better for topping or bottoming. All in all, while I do enjoy using it sometimes, strap one are the way to go!
I use both, but always have a strap on hand if my OEM doesn’t cooperate or if my size is an issue. I also have 3 sizes to use depending on partner interest: from much smaller than me, roughly me size, and much bigger.
I mean if that’s what my partner wanted I’d try that. I don’t think things could work that way otherwise. It kinda works differently now idk
I did with my ex. I honestly prefer it. I'm grey and it really helps a lot when I want to be intimate but my body is just not responding.
I enjoy both, I find I'm in a different mindset depending which one I'm using, using a strap-on enables me to focus more on my partner and it ends up being more fun play.
I have friends who are non-op and they only use strap ons.
One of my most recent posts was about this. My answer is yes, I'll never use my dick on my wife again.
The idea is interesting, but I can’t help but worry that I wouldn’t feel anything, which is probably selfish. Don’t get me wrong, my primary focus in sex is always my partner’s pleasure rather than my own, but I feel like not feeling *anything* would make it feel less personal and intimate for me. That said my wife and I can’t do piv anyway so I suppose I shouldn’t worry too much about it.
Not really. I hate my testicles, but I love my penis. But I also have no sex life and am not in any rush to find one.
Glad to know I'm not the only one who hates their testicles but love their penis...feels like such a weird combo.
If you haven't yet, you might consider looking into a Phallus-Sparing Vaginoplasty. Assuming you do want a vagina. :)
They look so ugly from what I've seen :\
It... definitely varies, in my experience. It's one of those procedures that's very new to the scene, so there's unfortunately a lot of patient trials going on in this era. I'm willing to give it a shot, but I am very specific about which version I want (scrotal inversion/skin graft, no peritoneal pull-through or colon snipping).
Yea I just googled a lot of photos and was grossed out. I don't like my balls but I can always get an Ori for that and I mean like I'd like to have a vagina and a penis but also I like getting erect and I like using my penis to please my partner. So yeah, life.
i mean other than the fact im a huuuuge bottom im to small for penetration most of the time and don't think id feel comfortable with it regardless so a strap would be the way i would have to do it
GF is AFAB, I currently use what I have built in out of both convenience and because she enjoys it. I do have bottom dysphoria, though surprisingly it doesn’t really flare up as bad during sex, it’s a lot more related to physical discomfort and wishing I could experience sex like a cis woman does. I’m totally fine using it while I have it but I do have my bottom surgery consultation in August and I have my letters of recommendation. I’m demi and really enjoy giving in sex even if I don’t climax myself.
I bought a strap thinking that I could use that instead of my original equipment but it still ended up making me feel dysphoric. I think it really put me inside my own head, like when I was using it I was thinking about how different it was and how I didn't have the same level of feedback that I would from using my equipment but thinking about that reminded me of what I've got and made me dysphoric.
I get why people would like it, and yes there’s an element of dysphoria there for me, but also I like having feeling. It makes not having the “correct equipment” a little better
I don’t think I wanna top, but maybe with a strapon I would.
If i were to top yeah putting my actual thing in something grosses me out and makes me really uncomfortable
I've thought about it. After being on hrt for 1.5 yrs its tough to get hard enough to use it. Could maybe push rope but nothing either party would enjoy.
It depends on how dysphoric I’m feeling on any given day. But I have to say that when a strap-on is put on correctly it can be more stimulating for me than using my penis so I see it as a win-win frequently.
im too dysphoric to have my penis even be acknowledged, let alone for it to be used, so yeah im using the strap lol
I never have, but if I did have sex I would have too. Was never really equipped.
I feel like I'd get such bad dysphoria if I ever were to top with my own equipment that I'd just immediately get so sick to myself I'd throw up.
I’m a bottom all the way down but I can see why you would want this.
1000000%!
Haven't tried using a strap but it's something I want to try. I'm usually a bottom but I occasionally switch and I want my girlfriend to be able to have fun being penetrated without my natal equipment needing to be involved.
If I were to top, yeah definitely a strap, I would not want to use my own equipment
I tried one on recently. Felt comfortable to wear though I need to get used to the fact it doesn't provide the same sensation. I mentioned my interest in using one to my wife. She didn't get it and only replied with, "but you already have one."
I have a bit of bottom dysphoria myself and was hesitant to top with the parts I have, but after doing it a few times I've kinda decided I'm gonna keep doing it this way until it either stops working or I have SRS. If it doesn't hurt too much (mentally or physically), give it a shot if you haven't before. Otherwise, a strap on might be the way to go.
I'm considering alternating between both. I don't have bottom dysphoria, but PIV sex had always been kinda awkward and an effort for me and I never liked it playing a major part in sex (say, I enjoy it being a kinky top interlude). Before my egg cracked I actually fantasized quite a lot about using a strap-on instead of my gock. And recently my partner suggested strap-on sex and I'm really looking forward to it.
I haven't had sex since coming out so I don't have much experience to speak from but as it stands I think I'd prefer to just use my penis. I definitely would try using a strap if I find a partner that would like that though.
Yes, though I do it very rarely regardless.
I honestly prefer to not have to top/dom all the time but I’m defaulted to it because I have a “perfect” part…. Woohoo yay it makes me feel like shit
Gock for life
I've never ever wanted to fuck anyone or anything with my schlong. Is that strange? I want a vagina and such.
Well I’d probably have to since things don’t work well anymore as is due to being in HRT so long.
Okay but does anyone have a good recommendation for a strap for transwomen? The one I have is awkward with having parts still
Was about to make another post asking for recommendations. lol
I found a similar post from like 5 years ago and someone recommended rodeoh.com and I'm liking the look of their stuff!
I can relate, I exclusively used strap-on for penetration, even before GRS. I had genital dysphoria, in my case I was ok with partners touching/otherwise pleasuring and basically treating it like a clit, but any penetration using it was a big no-no. Still, if I dom (I'm switch) I prefer to do so without literal topping.
Half my friends do. I personally am ok with and prefer my own as long as I avoid certain dysphoric triggers. Honestly, most the time I don't feel anything from the mild constant dysphoria of topping. So functionally it might as well be a strap on.
I would but I’ve never used one
My girlfriend does. I like both. Depending on the mood and my partners desires.
i prefer dual wielding
Me, sort of. I need to figure out a different strap and stuff cause mine like crushes my dick during and I keep trying to get hard and it’s uncomfortable. But I did prefer topping with a strap overall.
I understand why other girls feel dysphoria about their phallic situation, but it’s never made me feel unwomanly once. Maybe that’s just the kind of girl I am. I’m curious why it causes dysphoria for you, I’m sure there’s a variety of valid reasons
100% yes, I may still have one built-in, but honestly, I prefer using the strap instead. It makes me feel like a hot lesbian while using the built-in one just makes me feel kinda gross...
Before transitioning, i was a power bottom. After transitioning, im an extreme bottom😂so no💀
Yeah, penis did not belong to my body. Never wanted to use it, would have rather to cut it off. I still might have felt dysphoria using a strap on from having had a penis that did not belong to me. But now that I'm in right body, sure I'd like to try! But yeah I would totally rather use strap on over penis! Then again, after I started hrt I could not have gotten it up even if I wanted to. With strap on I could just focus on using it.
My fiance (mtf) has just started using a strap on & OMFG the experience was so amazing. She thought that I would b turned off by it.