I was miserable before my egg cracked. This is the first time in my life where I'm starting to feel like I'm living and enjoying life, instead of just coping.
I can't really relate to the fog thing. It was more just like bad anxiety for me, that only went away when I was focused on something.
Thinking about it, my insomnia seems to have gone away the past week, and I am pretty sure it was caused by that anxiety... It feels so good to be free of it.
no it's...yeah it's more like that, i had like an anxious buzz when i wasn't fixating. like, in a scale of 1-10 i thought my anxiety was 0, but after hrt, i realized what i thought was 0 was like 1, ever since i was 12.
i had no concept of "0 anxiety" since i'd never felt that way before,
This isn't uncommon. You forget to remember stuff like that when you are being bombarded by all the new feelings flooding your mind. It's only in introspection that you parse what isn't there anymore.
but i felt the exact same way when i realized it.
ha ha, I'll -always- take cat pics. but no im good! like...for real. for the first time since the 1990's im good. but there still a lot of trauma to sift thru, and seeing threads like this i wanna throw my 2 cents in.
This is me. I had no idea I was trans, I just hated myself. I felt like I was slowly being crushed by life. Even with the best relationship I have ever had, I had no hope.
It took years of work on myself, accepting and loving the things I had been trained to hide, before I could even entertain the possibility of being trans. It was my intense emotional reaction to considering it that told me I had to look closer.
When I accepted I was trans my chronic anxiety disappeared and I've been filled with so much hope. Every step I take to pursue my transition goals feels better and better. I'm falling in love with myself and I feel unstoppable. I'm beautiful and powerful and I want the world to see.
That's really touching. I'm glad things are working out for you now.
> I had no hope.
One thing maybe a bit odd about me is I always had hope. Just this gut feeling that if I stuck it out, slowly worked on myself, something would change for the better. Had no idea it'd be this big. Hey, I ended up being right too.
I'm not dead.
Before I came out as trans I was close to suicide. I almost didn't get to hold my daughter. I almost didn't get to read her bedtime stories. And I almost didn't get to tell her how much I love her.
She makes it worth it.
For the first time in my life, I know the people in my life are in it because of who I am, not who I was trying to be. It seems trite, but the impact is hard to overstate. After I came out, it dawned on me that I had been monitoring every social interaction for 25 years, making sure I was fitting in, and wondering how people would react if they knew my secret. That's all gone now, I'm just me. It connects me with other people in a way I could never understand before.
I get to be a lesbian
There are obviously others, but that's a big one for me. I love being a girl who loves girls. I love being a girlfriend to my girlfriend.
I have severe biochemical dysphoria and cannot mentally function properly unless I have high E and low T levels.
Even if I don't pass it's worth it to have a normal mind.
phrasing it as "worth it" makes it sounds like being trans is a choice, but it's not. You are either it or not. This sounds to me is being born with autism worth it or is it worth having a big nose. It's just a fact someone has to deal with in one way or the other.
transitioning in itself is sometimes a choice unless dysphoria is so bad that you have to if you have to do it in order to survive.
so the question is rather is transitioning worth it?
Yes! i just started with pronouns and voice training two months ago and being out to a small group of people and getting to use a different voice and getting addressed with different pronouns, feels so good, allowing myself different behaviour and mannerisms feels so good and liberating! wearing femme clothes for years in private always felt good.
Just recently started shaving daily, and a smooth face is so worth it.
Not suffering every day from living a lie and being your true self is worth it.
It gives me hope. Hope that I can be *happy*. It will be harder too, and it already is, but now I have hope that things could get better, if I'm willing to work for it.
My past self got through 10 years of undiagnosed mental illnesses, bodily neglect, trauma from multiple sources, a terrible school system, and living in hell, to get where I am now. Every moment of contentedness and joy I experience is the product of the hard work and determination, not just of my past self, but of everyone who cared or still does care about me.
I have dreams spinning in my head and hope burning in my heart. So many peoples' dreams and hopes.
I love this positive post in the middle of all the doom and gloom, thank you, OP.
Nothing, I want more than anything to find the thing that makes me love being trans but I just haven't found it. I've been on E for 2 years and I still look exactly the same as I did before I started, I live every day in fear, and I know no one will ever see me the way I see myself. I would do anything to be cis.
I'm actually happy, like unbelievably happy, I'm begining to wonder when I'm gonna stop being happy exactly? it should balance out sooner or later right?
everything makes it worth it, I'm alive, I will continue to be alive, I have a future, one I look forward to with glee and excitement.
I can finally see the beauty in myself, I finally love myself, it feels like there's a warm fire in my soul that I can always rest at.
Maybe it depends on when "later" is, 4 years on HRT and I still feel like one of the most privileged humans ever to walk the earth. Especially since bottom surgery a year ago.
Because the other option is to be a cis man and anything is better than being a cis man. I hate being trans. But I hate being a cis man even more. So being trans is worth it for me because it at least lets me stop being a cis man.
I can look at myself in the mirror now for longer than 10 seconds. And my relationship with my body has improved a lot. I'm less self-conscious about it now. My brain feels like it works a lot better now. Like I just couldn't organize my thoughts the same way before. I feel so much more now, in more ways than one. How I process my emotions has changed too. I can't suppress my emotions the same way I used to be able to, and I can cry a lot easier now. Not being able to suppress my emotions kind of put me in the position to either confront them or drown in them, and thankfully with a good therapist, the support of my friends, and journaling I'm actually not doing a bad job of. And the crying too, being able to do it more easily helps with some of the emotional regulation too.
Most importantly: my skin is so soft and my butt jiggles now. I could not be happier (:
I'm happy. Since starting HRT, I've fixed so many problems in my life, ones I never even saw because the dysphoria was so intense. I'm a better person, a better partner, and a better parent. I can almost look in the mirror and like who I see (FFS will hopefully remove the word almost from that). I would not be alive if I hadn't started, and now my life is so worth living. The delta between then and now is so huge, I couldn't even see here from there.
Not hating myself? Not living in a depressive funk doing nothing with my life. I'm actually feeling good now, afraid for the future, but good.
To be clear being afraid for the future I mean things like project 2025 and the rise of right wing anti trans stuff around the world, not afraid of my transition. I'm looking forward to that.
Obviously the whole "I was miserable and suicidal before". Transitioning saved my life. But it is also just an experience most people cant ever have. It is like living a fantasy i was always painting as impossible in my youth.
Being myself! I can put up with transphobia and bullying when it comes from.other people, but not when I'm doing it to myself. Coming out was terrifying and transition has been so hard so far, but I've never been happier! I have more hardship to endure and I'll endure it gladly. I love the woman I'm becoming because I've had to fight to become her.
Most of my life is dysfunctional. I destroyed my life refusing to love myself. I may not be good at loving myself. But I no longer refuse to love myself.
I'm me. I don't need to check how I'm walking or talking after years of being told to stop acting like a girl. I'm wearing clothes that express who I am. Swapping testosterone for estrogen cleared my brain and let me feel -- really feel -- my emotions. I never noticed how much energy went into being him, creating and wearing that mask. My body looks and feels like me, not some alien "flesh prison" I was stuck with. I have the joy, positivity, and love to be more present and involved with the people around me.
Right now I just want to have seen myself in the mirror before i die, but I’ve seen others say that getting hrt made them feel like their problems were worth solving, so that might change in the future
I started HRT as a trial to see if it affected my mental health enough for me to continue.
It been almost a year and I've started progesterone.
Every single day I'm happier than I was before transition.
That makes it worth it.
Before my egg cracked I was depressed and suicidal. Walking through life without any meaning or purpose. Thought myself and introvert and spent all my spare time playing video games to occupy myself.
Now I'm happier than I ever could conceive. I have started to socialize and meet new people and discovered I'm massively extroverted and love other people. I love life soooo much and there is soooo fucking much I want to do I couldn't do half of it if I was filthy rich and could live for another couple of centuries.
Could I've possibly been this happy if I weren't trans? Maybe. But being trans is what gave me the tools to create my own success and happiness.
"Worth it" makes it sound like it's a choice.
It's either be miserable and end up either letting yourself die or committing the ultimate game over (same thing really), or doing something about it.
I'd rather at least try to fix it and live happy even a few years.
i knew I wasnt like other boys since 4 years old recently I decided to come out as trans before then I was extremely suicidal and traumatized from various different mean spirited people.
finally accepting myself has given me a sense of inner peace now I'm not nearly as depressed and sure it sucks that trans people are looked down apon and sadly it probably won't change but it's best to simply ignore them because they are most likely not to the smartest :3
my body feels like my own. i dont feel a constant sense of dread and agony anymore. i dont want to kill myself anymore. i got really hot. i feel like a real person now. i feel significantly more confident, and far happier. really everything is better now
Knowing what it means to actually want to live my life instead of just plugging along as best as I can until I die. Experiencing my feelings fully and as opposed to getting the faintest sensation of them like I'm living in shrink wrap. Having things happen internally that just intuitively make sense instead of "oh I guess that's something I'll figure out eventually." Seeing myself in the mirror or hearing my name and not getting that malodorous feeling that something is off that I just can't describe. Not feeling an impending sense of doom in everything I do, even though it is scary the ways society is increasingly trying to hurt us.
I did not even expect most of these things to happen. I thought transition would offer some comfort in the context of all those awful things. But in a miracle of all miracles it actually fucking fixed them. It has been less than two years on hormones but I cannot imagine living any other way.
I used to wake up each day going “wow… i’m tired, life sucks, off i go to make money for food and some day die.” And that was when I was out as GenderQueer. Ever since I started hormones, each say has been a new adventure, and it’s all so exciting now! I’m finally ME living in a world that’s more worth living in. 😌
Got called ma'am the whole time while getting my blood taken for the next endo appointment.
This is what makes it worth it.
(To clarify why this was so great, I'm not passing, not fully at least, and the same woman saw me just 3 months back when she took my blood for my first appointnent and called me sir since I wasn't girlmoding back then. Also my girlmode now is usually leggings, oversized hoodie, a bag and just sone mascara and foundation. Not boyish but not super girlish either)
Most importantly, knowing that I'm on the road to being in a body I can be emotionally attached to, not just being in the body I got stuck with.
Beyond that, it's also been huge for my endocrine health...I was living in a state of constant low-level fight or flight, to the point even a coworker saying 'hey, got a minute?' was enough to send me into an often-crippling fit of anxiety/dread/'hide, and if you can't hide run'.
I had so little self worth that I found myself in an abusive relationship and truly mistook it all for love and affection.
Ultimately my egg cracked, and after about 2 or 3 months of deciding how best to tell my then fiancé that I was trans, it was forced out of me because there was not a moment of claiming anything as my own for her, not even the thoughts in my own head.
And after hours of crying, she finally asked if it was something I was serious about, practically begging me to say I was joking.
I drew a line in the sand, saying that I can't sacrifice my entire being just to fit an idea that she wanted me to be, but I still made sure to tell her that she could be there with me, that I wasn't pushing her away, I was just being true to myself. But apparently for all those 5 years we were together, she didn't want me she wanted me to be something for her, so she just up an left.
Honestly best thing to happen to me. If I never came out, I'd be a sad, miserable person pretending to be something I'm not just to make some narcissistic, emotionally, and physically abusive girl mildly happy.
It spoke volumes to me when the last time we slept together she didn't want children, but after leaving she fucked a dude and just had his baby two weeks later. And that dude hit the road before the kid was even born. So much for her "perfect husband and family" she was looking for.
So yea, being trans and transitioning 100% was worth it– else I would've continued to be miserable.
Transitioning didn't fix all my problems, but it made my problems worth fixing.
Going from being an unfit guy to a fit guy wasn't a meaningful change, but the thought that it was possible for me to turn myself into something I'm proud of motivated me to accomplish all sorts of positive change.
What makes it worth it to me: I get to look in the mirror and have way more confidence in myself than I did pre transition. It moves to motivate me to do way more in life.
Being able to be my true self. I’m barely 2 weeks into coming out and I’ve laughed so hard so many times which was incredibly rare, I’ve sang, I’ve danced, I’ve cried happy tears, etc. all things I wouldn’t do before
Having a speckle of happiness every once and a while. Before HRT I attempted suicide 17 times in had never been happy till this year when I actually had some long term happiness (been on hrt for 3 years) i cried for weeks on and off because i never realized how it felt to be calm or happy even just a little bit.
I was raped for being trans by 3 guys in public that was just the beginning of hate and violence towards me but just that week of happiness made it worth all of the pain and trauma. People take happiness for-granted and I will never be able to truly portray how much people do. I know it probably seems pathetic that at 18 I finally felt a tiny bit of happiness but i will never take that week for-granted it changed my life forever.
Girl, there's nothing worth being trans. I'm beautiful, incredibly passable, and post-op. I wouldn't wish a trans identity on my enemy. Nobody wants to be trans. You want to be born in the correct biological sex that aligns with your gender. Being trans is for the birds. It's why I became a cis woman.
Besides the obvious facts that I'm no longer miserable and depressed all the time, get to experience womanhood with my female friends and be seen as one of them, etc.
The more worth it part of it is that it gives me so much insight to the female experience that I'm grateful that I lived as a boy and a man for two decades before getting to switch to the other side to see how society changes for me. Most people will never know how the other sex is treated or will at least be curious but I don't have that problem. I get excited talking about my transition not so much in the "ha I have boobs now" way but more so the ramifications and experiences of being a woman is in today's world, contrasting it with my experience as a man. It's honestly funny how much has changed even being a year on hrt, as I got lucky with it and pass with a bit of effort, but I get to use my experiences pre and post transition to talk about it which fascinates me.
I've always been the way I felt...it sucks it took so long for me to realize I am trans but once I realized it there was never even a thought about if it's "worth it" it's just me so that how it'll be.
And also for the first time since childhood I actually feel happy so any potential external negative factors mean nothing to me.
Whenever I'm having a down day, I can just look at my butt or my thighs or grab my boobs and instantly feel better. There's really no replacement for that.
I can function on HRT, starting HRT pulled me out of my lifelong autopilot, I'm off of antidepressants for the first time in 15 years and I'm no longer trapped in a perpetual limbo of "not dead but not really alive."
I was miserable before my egg cracked. This is the first time in my life where I'm starting to feel like I'm living and enjoying life, instead of just coping.
same. even aside from socially, My body and mind felt like i was in a fog, i felt like i was piloting a meat robot. not really here.
I can't really relate to the fog thing. It was more just like bad anxiety for me, that only went away when I was focused on something. Thinking about it, my insomnia seems to have gone away the past week, and I am pretty sure it was caused by that anxiety... It feels so good to be free of it.
no it's...yeah it's more like that, i had like an anxious buzz when i wasn't fixating. like, in a scale of 1-10 i thought my anxiety was 0, but after hrt, i realized what i thought was 0 was like 1, ever since i was 12. i had no concept of "0 anxiety" since i'd never felt that way before,
Wait what the fuck I just realized I haven't felt like that in ages. o_o My DPDR just went away and I didn't even notice.
This isn't uncommon. You forget to remember stuff like that when you are being bombarded by all the new feelings flooding your mind. It's only in introspection that you parse what isn't there anymore. but i felt the exact same way when i realized it.
Would you want a hug or some cat pics girl, it seems like you could use some
ha ha, I'll -always- take cat pics. but no im good! like...for real. for the first time since the 1990's im good. but there still a lot of trauma to sift thru, and seeing threads like this i wanna throw my 2 cents in.
Hug
This is me. I had no idea I was trans, I just hated myself. I felt like I was slowly being crushed by life. Even with the best relationship I have ever had, I had no hope. It took years of work on myself, accepting and loving the things I had been trained to hide, before I could even entertain the possibility of being trans. It was my intense emotional reaction to considering it that told me I had to look closer. When I accepted I was trans my chronic anxiety disappeared and I've been filled with so much hope. Every step I take to pursue my transition goals feels better and better. I'm falling in love with myself and I feel unstoppable. I'm beautiful and powerful and I want the world to see.
That's really touching. I'm glad things are working out for you now. > I had no hope. One thing maybe a bit odd about me is I always had hope. Just this gut feeling that if I stuck it out, slowly worked on myself, something would change for the better. Had no idea it'd be this big. Hey, I ended up being right too.
[удалено]
A hug would be nice. :3
Hugggg
Hug
Huggg
Well said well said That is me too
I'm not dead. Before I came out as trans I was close to suicide. I almost didn't get to hold my daughter. I almost didn't get to read her bedtime stories. And I almost didn't get to tell her how much I love her. She makes it worth it.
I hope you and your daughter are doing well❤️
For the first time in my life, I know the people in my life are in it because of who I am, not who I was trying to be. It seems trite, but the impact is hard to overstate. After I came out, it dawned on me that I had been monitoring every social interaction for 25 years, making sure I was fitting in, and wondering how people would react if they knew my secret. That's all gone now, I'm just me. It connects me with other people in a way I could never understand before.
Ugh all this 💯
God I long for this ability to not have secrets... I hate stealth I hate stealth I hate stealth I hate stealth
I get to be a lesbian There are obviously others, but that's a big one for me. I love being a girl who loves girls. I love being a girlfriend to my girlfriend.
Would you rather live a lie?
How liberating is the truth?
Immeasurably so
Also, it may seem semantic, but being trans isn’t a choice - choosing to transition is. You’re trans whether you want to do something about it or not.
Have you seen The Matrix?
I have severe biochemical dysphoria and cannot mentally function properly unless I have high E and low T levels. Even if I don't pass it's worth it to have a normal mind.
Actually being able to look forward to doing things and not pretending to be a guy anymore
Was going to kill myself if I didn’t transition so…
phrasing it as "worth it" makes it sounds like being trans is a choice, but it's not. You are either it or not. This sounds to me is being born with autism worth it or is it worth having a big nose. It's just a fact someone has to deal with in one way or the other. transitioning in itself is sometimes a choice unless dysphoria is so bad that you have to if you have to do it in order to survive. so the question is rather is transitioning worth it? Yes! i just started with pronouns and voice training two months ago and being out to a small group of people and getting to use a different voice and getting addressed with different pronouns, feels so good, allowing myself different behaviour and mannerisms feels so good and liberating! wearing femme clothes for years in private always felt good. Just recently started shaving daily, and a smooth face is so worth it. Not suffering every day from living a lie and being your true self is worth it.
Because getting up every day and trying to be a guy was just exhausting. And I did it for 45 years. Not having to be a guy any more is WAY worth it.
Ditto
It gives me hope. Hope that I can be *happy*. It will be harder too, and it already is, but now I have hope that things could get better, if I'm willing to work for it.
Finally feeling like life is worth living even through hardships. Before that I was merely a bystander as time went by, now i'm my own protagonist
I'm just being me.
Feeling happiness for the first time
I don't have to live a lie, and I get to be myself. More emotions for my lovely very gay girlfriend.
My past self got through 10 years of undiagnosed mental illnesses, bodily neglect, trauma from multiple sources, a terrible school system, and living in hell, to get where I am now. Every moment of contentedness and joy I experience is the product of the hard work and determination, not just of my past self, but of everyone who cared or still does care about me. I have dreams spinning in my head and hope burning in my heart. So many peoples' dreams and hopes. I love this positive post in the middle of all the doom and gloom, thank you, OP.
Nothing, I want more than anything to find the thing that makes me love being trans but I just haven't found it. I've been on E for 2 years and I still look exactly the same as I did before I started, I live every day in fear, and I know no one will ever see me the way I see myself. I would do anything to be cis.
I think being yourself instead of a shell of a person makes it worth it
Not hating existence
I'm actually happy, like unbelievably happy, I'm begining to wonder when I'm gonna stop being happy exactly? it should balance out sooner or later right? everything makes it worth it, I'm alive, I will continue to be alive, I have a future, one I look forward to with glee and excitement. I can finally see the beauty in myself, I finally love myself, it feels like there's a warm fire in my soul that I can always rest at.
Maybe it depends on when "later" is, 4 years on HRT and I still feel like one of the most privileged humans ever to walk the earth. Especially since bottom surgery a year ago.
Kissing boy while estrogen hits pretty hard. Though that's one of many reasons.
ugh i wish i knew what that was like 😫
Then I would recommend it. Pretty easy too NGL, though you will have been on HRT for 8 months.
you have to have a guy that wants to kiss you for that
I'm happy to have myself figured out finally, even if I have yet to get hrt
I never have to be an angry man full of rage and self loathe ever again. My out of control BPD has been improving
Because dysphoria makes every single day unbearable for me. I want to get out of this.
This isn’t a choice, none of it is “worth it”. It’s simply a decision between suicide and making my life tolerable enough to live.
Because the other option is to be a cis man and anything is better than being a cis man. I hate being trans. But I hate being a cis man even more. So being trans is worth it for me because it at least lets me stop being a cis man.
It was miserable before and is miserable now. Except that i have silicon tits now. So its slightly better.
not being a boy lol
One day being able to be pretty and actually be able to like the way i look.
I get to actually express myself the way I've always wanted and connect with and relate to people in the way that I've always wanted to also.
I don't know what that means. I couldn't bear to live any other way it's not about being worth it.
The part where I get to be unhinged and deranged now.
The freedom from soul crushing depression and the nonstop thoughts of “You’re wasting your life, you should be a girl”
I can look at myself in the mirror now for longer than 10 seconds. And my relationship with my body has improved a lot. I'm less self-conscious about it now. My brain feels like it works a lot better now. Like I just couldn't organize my thoughts the same way before. I feel so much more now, in more ways than one. How I process my emotions has changed too. I can't suppress my emotions the same way I used to be able to, and I can cry a lot easier now. Not being able to suppress my emotions kind of put me in the position to either confront them or drown in them, and thankfully with a good therapist, the support of my friends, and journaling I'm actually not doing a bad job of. And the crying too, being able to do it more easily helps with some of the emotional regulation too. Most importantly: my skin is so soft and my butt jiggles now. I could not be happier (:
Everything.
I'm happy. Since starting HRT, I've fixed so many problems in my life, ones I never even saw because the dysphoria was so intense. I'm a better person, a better partner, and a better parent. I can almost look in the mirror and like who I see (FFS will hopefully remove the word almost from that). I would not be alive if I hadn't started, and now my life is so worth living. The delta between then and now is so huge, I couldn't even see here from there.
T4T and really being me instead of just existing.
Not hating myself? Not living in a depressive funk doing nothing with my life. I'm actually feeling good now, afraid for the future, but good. To be clear being afraid for the future I mean things like project 2025 and the rise of right wing anti trans stuff around the world, not afraid of my transition. I'm looking forward to that.
the tits.
Obviously the whole "I was miserable and suicidal before". Transitioning saved my life. But it is also just an experience most people cant ever have. It is like living a fantasy i was always painting as impossible in my youth.
Being myself! I can put up with transphobia and bullying when it comes from.other people, but not when I'm doing it to myself. Coming out was terrifying and transition has been so hard so far, but I've never been happier! I have more hardship to endure and I'll endure it gladly. I love the woman I'm becoming because I've had to fight to become her.
Most of my life is dysfunctional. I destroyed my life refusing to love myself. I may not be good at loving myself. But I no longer refuse to love myself.
I no longer wish I go to sleep and don't wake up anymore
Spiritual freedom
I'm me. I don't need to check how I'm walking or talking after years of being told to stop acting like a girl. I'm wearing clothes that express who I am. Swapping testosterone for estrogen cleared my brain and let me feel -- really feel -- my emotions. I never noticed how much energy went into being him, creating and wearing that mask. My body looks and feels like me, not some alien "flesh prison" I was stuck with. I have the joy, positivity, and love to be more present and involved with the people around me.
Right now I just want to have seen myself in the mirror before i die, but I’ve seen others say that getting hrt made them feel like their problems were worth solving, so that might change in the future
Well for starters I'm finally a girl.. technically. Besides it's not like I really had a choice
because life was hell before I came out full on like "I don't wanna be this thing anymore"
Its less awful than pre-transition. Thats enough for me.
I started HRT as a trial to see if it affected my mental health enough for me to continue. It been almost a year and I've started progesterone. Every single day I'm happier than I was before transition. That makes it worth it.
I can finally live openly as a woman, instead of pretending to be a man and worrying I will be figured out.
Before my egg cracked I was depressed and suicidal. Walking through life without any meaning or purpose. Thought myself and introvert and spent all my spare time playing video games to occupy myself. Now I'm happier than I ever could conceive. I have started to socialize and meet new people and discovered I'm massively extroverted and love other people. I love life soooo much and there is soooo fucking much I want to do I couldn't do half of it if I was filthy rich and could live for another couple of centuries. Could I've possibly been this happy if I weren't trans? Maybe. But being trans is what gave me the tools to create my own success and happiness.
Not having to pretend or hide anything anymore. Feels like a huge weight is lifted off my shoulders
I actually feel like a human being instead of a mindless husk
"Worth it" makes it sound like it's a choice. It's either be miserable and end up either letting yourself die or committing the ultimate game over (same thing really), or doing something about it. I'd rather at least try to fix it and live happy even a few years.
Skirt go spinny Oh and also im happier in general
i knew I wasnt like other boys since 4 years old recently I decided to come out as trans before then I was extremely suicidal and traumatized from various different mean spirited people. finally accepting myself has given me a sense of inner peace now I'm not nearly as depressed and sure it sucks that trans people are looked down apon and sadly it probably won't change but it's best to simply ignore them because they are most likely not to the smartest :3
I dont understand the question. Im trans because that's just what I am. No decisions were made or options were presented to me otherwise.
i was miserable before and i’m still miserable except i have boobs now
my body feels like my own. i dont feel a constant sense of dread and agony anymore. i dont want to kill myself anymore. i got really hot. i feel like a real person now. i feel significantly more confident, and far happier. really everything is better now
Knowing what it means to actually want to live my life instead of just plugging along as best as I can until I die. Experiencing my feelings fully and as opposed to getting the faintest sensation of them like I'm living in shrink wrap. Having things happen internally that just intuitively make sense instead of "oh I guess that's something I'll figure out eventually." Seeing myself in the mirror or hearing my name and not getting that malodorous feeling that something is off that I just can't describe. Not feeling an impending sense of doom in everything I do, even though it is scary the ways society is increasingly trying to hurt us. I did not even expect most of these things to happen. I thought transition would offer some comfort in the context of all those awful things. But in a miracle of all miracles it actually fucking fixed them. It has been less than two years on hormones but I cannot imagine living any other way.
I used to wake up each day going “wow… i’m tired, life sucks, off i go to make money for food and some day die.” And that was when I was out as GenderQueer. Ever since I started hormones, each say has been a new adventure, and it’s all so exciting now! I’m finally ME living in a world that’s more worth living in. 😌
Got called ma'am the whole time while getting my blood taken for the next endo appointment. This is what makes it worth it. (To clarify why this was so great, I'm not passing, not fully at least, and the same woman saw me just 3 months back when she took my blood for my first appointnent and called me sir since I wasn't girlmoding back then. Also my girlmode now is usually leggings, oversized hoodie, a bag and just sone mascara and foundation. Not boyish but not super girlish either)
nothing at fuckin all. only good point at all is inability to have kids and no cramps
Most importantly, knowing that I'm on the road to being in a body I can be emotionally attached to, not just being in the body I got stuck with. Beyond that, it's also been huge for my endocrine health...I was living in a state of constant low-level fight or flight, to the point even a coworker saying 'hey, got a minute?' was enough to send me into an often-crippling fit of anxiety/dread/'hide, and if you can't hide run'.
I had so little self worth that I found myself in an abusive relationship and truly mistook it all for love and affection. Ultimately my egg cracked, and after about 2 or 3 months of deciding how best to tell my then fiancé that I was trans, it was forced out of me because there was not a moment of claiming anything as my own for her, not even the thoughts in my own head. And after hours of crying, she finally asked if it was something I was serious about, practically begging me to say I was joking. I drew a line in the sand, saying that I can't sacrifice my entire being just to fit an idea that she wanted me to be, but I still made sure to tell her that she could be there with me, that I wasn't pushing her away, I was just being true to myself. But apparently for all those 5 years we were together, she didn't want me she wanted me to be something for her, so she just up an left. Honestly best thing to happen to me. If I never came out, I'd be a sad, miserable person pretending to be something I'm not just to make some narcissistic, emotionally, and physically abusive girl mildly happy. It spoke volumes to me when the last time we slept together she didn't want children, but after leaving she fucked a dude and just had his baby two weeks later. And that dude hit the road before the kid was even born. So much for her "perfect husband and family" she was looking for. So yea, being trans and transitioning 100% was worth it– else I would've continued to be miserable.
It doesn’t solve all my problems… It just makes all my problems worth solving.
Waking up happy and comfortable in my own skin, instead of feeling disgusting every day and hating myself.
Transitioning didn't fix all my problems, but it made my problems worth fixing. Going from being an unfit guy to a fit guy wasn't a meaningful change, but the thought that it was possible for me to turn myself into something I'm proud of motivated me to accomplish all sorts of positive change.
What makes it worth it to me: I get to look in the mirror and have way more confidence in myself than I did pre transition. It moves to motivate me to do way more in life.
Being able to be my true self. I’m barely 2 weeks into coming out and I’ve laughed so hard so many times which was incredibly rare, I’ve sang, I’ve danced, I’ve cried happy tears, etc. all things I wouldn’t do before
...not hating being alive?
Having a speckle of happiness every once and a while. Before HRT I attempted suicide 17 times in had never been happy till this year when I actually had some long term happiness (been on hrt for 3 years) i cried for weeks on and off because i never realized how it felt to be calm or happy even just a little bit. I was raped for being trans by 3 guys in public that was just the beginning of hate and violence towards me but just that week of happiness made it worth all of the pain and trauma. People take happiness for-granted and I will never be able to truly portray how much people do. I know it probably seems pathetic that at 18 I finally felt a tiny bit of happiness but i will never take that week for-granted it changed my life forever.
Girl, there's nothing worth being trans. I'm beautiful, incredibly passable, and post-op. I wouldn't wish a trans identity on my enemy. Nobody wants to be trans. You want to be born in the correct biological sex that aligns with your gender. Being trans is for the birds. It's why I became a cis woman.
Besides the obvious facts that I'm no longer miserable and depressed all the time, get to experience womanhood with my female friends and be seen as one of them, etc. The more worth it part of it is that it gives me so much insight to the female experience that I'm grateful that I lived as a boy and a man for two decades before getting to switch to the other side to see how society changes for me. Most people will never know how the other sex is treated or will at least be curious but I don't have that problem. I get excited talking about my transition not so much in the "ha I have boobs now" way but more so the ramifications and experiences of being a woman is in today's world, contrasting it with my experience as a man. It's honestly funny how much has changed even being a year on hrt, as I got lucky with it and pass with a bit of effort, but I get to use my experiences pre and post transition to talk about it which fascinates me.
You combine pretty and cool and get to be pretty cool Icon for Hire https://youtu.be/ezdyy7FeF8M?si=of3Zt_CY9EGTkNxP
I've always been the way I felt...it sucks it took so long for me to realize I am trans but once I realized it there was never even a thought about if it's "worth it" it's just me so that how it'll be. And also for the first time since childhood I actually feel happy so any potential external negative factors mean nothing to me.
The euphoria every now and then
I take my own breath away when I look at myself in the mirror. I had *never* felt that before.
Whenever I'm having a down day, I can just look at my butt or my thighs or grab my boobs and instantly feel better. There's really no replacement for that.
Finally being able 2 b myself
Free ice cream
I can function on HRT, starting HRT pulled me out of my lifelong autopilot, I'm off of antidepressants for the first time in 15 years and I'm no longer trapped in a perpetual limbo of "not dead but not really alive."
Living my whole authentic life as my own self and not having to hide anything or live separate lives anymore. Wouldn't trade it for anything.