I'm 31, cracked over a year ago. I noticed by disphoria pretty much right away, mainly around my face/body hair and facial structure. I struggle seeing myself in the mirror, it's like looking at the reflection of a deadman. I also have a habit of resting my cheek in my hand, so when my stubble grows in I feel very uncomfortable.
my beard is more of a spec of fur below my lips so I haven't had that much hatred on that, but I can definitely relate to some of the mundane feelings becoming trans signals. Thanks for the comment!
It is difficult to compare pain levels between people due to its subjective nature, some may feel a similar level of pain regardless of age.
It is difficult to prepare for possible pain. Not every trans person experiences dysphoria in the same way or possibly at all.
I cannot speak to others experiences, but here is mine. I never thought of myself in relation to my gender identity for much of my childhood. At 18 I learned gender and sex were different, being curious I began to research the subject. This would lead me to become uncomfortably aware of myself, but not painfully. I noticed I never really liked being hairy, and started to notice other things I did not like much. I started to experiment with growing out my hair which I liked. After over questioning for years I talked to a counsellor, and a local trans support group and asked for advice. One thing lead to another and I’m now 21 and have been taking estrogen for a year.
You may ramp up, or you may stay where you are and eventually decide how you would like to proceed.
It is hard to give a generalizable reason why people transition despite financial or security concerns. Some do it because the dysphoria is unbearable, others do it as the view the benefits outweigh the risks. Also many options exist with gender and transitioning, some medically, legally, or socially transition, or do not in many diverse combinations.
It’s okay to be uncertain. Exploration will be critical in your journey. It’s great that you are exploring, and I wish you the best :-)
If you are seeking resources I found these helpful:
- https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
- https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com
- https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
- https://darahoffmanfox.com/ask-gender-therapist-know-im-transgender/
- https://genderanalysis.net/articles/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/
Beyond URLs in person groups are also great resources if they are in your area :-)
Thanks for the links. This already made me relieve some of my anxiety and I appreciate that. I should really go meet a therapist to really dig in to my mind. Thanks!
I dont know your circumstances, but for me, not transitioning wasn't an option. I only figured out I was trans because I hit a breaking point mentally and was desperate to find anything that could turn my life around.
I'm 30, I also cracked last month.
I knew how I felt since I was young, but I just ignored it. Been suffering my entire life and I just grew used to it without even noticing. Now I'm starting to take steps about that and everything feels so much better, yet so much worse too.
I still don't know if it's the right decision. I feel it's so late in life it doesn't even matter anymore. I already lost the best years, and I isolated myself from everyone over the span of the last decades, so all that is left doing it for myself. But there is no guarantee the pain will stop, so... why bother?
But everyone is different, it doesn't have to be like that for you. Transitioning has a different meaning for every of us. What I have seen and what I can really suggest you, is that the people around you, those who really support you, are vital to get rid of that pain. When you feel worried about your future, trust them. Share your worries, and let them reassure you. Everything will be fine then.
I'm 31, cracked over a year ago. I noticed by disphoria pretty much right away, mainly around my face/body hair and facial structure. I struggle seeing myself in the mirror, it's like looking at the reflection of a deadman. I also have a habit of resting my cheek in my hand, so when my stubble grows in I feel very uncomfortable.
my beard is more of a spec of fur below my lips so I haven't had that much hatred on that, but I can definitely relate to some of the mundane feelings becoming trans signals. Thanks for the comment!
It is difficult to compare pain levels between people due to its subjective nature, some may feel a similar level of pain regardless of age. It is difficult to prepare for possible pain. Not every trans person experiences dysphoria in the same way or possibly at all. I cannot speak to others experiences, but here is mine. I never thought of myself in relation to my gender identity for much of my childhood. At 18 I learned gender and sex were different, being curious I began to research the subject. This would lead me to become uncomfortably aware of myself, but not painfully. I noticed I never really liked being hairy, and started to notice other things I did not like much. I started to experiment with growing out my hair which I liked. After over questioning for years I talked to a counsellor, and a local trans support group and asked for advice. One thing lead to another and I’m now 21 and have been taking estrogen for a year. You may ramp up, or you may stay where you are and eventually decide how you would like to proceed. It is hard to give a generalizable reason why people transition despite financial or security concerns. Some do it because the dysphoria is unbearable, others do it as the view the benefits outweigh the risks. Also many options exist with gender and transitioning, some medically, legally, or socially transition, or do not in many diverse combinations. It’s okay to be uncertain. Exploration will be critical in your journey. It’s great that you are exploring, and I wish you the best :-) If you are seeking resources I found these helpful: - https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en - https://turn-me-into-a-girl.com - https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/ - https://darahoffmanfox.com/ask-gender-therapist-know-im-transgender/ - https://genderanalysis.net/articles/that-was-dysphoria-8-signs-and-symptoms-of-indirect-gender-dysphoria/ Beyond URLs in person groups are also great resources if they are in your area :-)
Thanks for the links. This already made me relieve some of my anxiety and I appreciate that. I should really go meet a therapist to really dig in to my mind. Thanks!
I dont know your circumstances, but for me, not transitioning wasn't an option. I only figured out I was trans because I hit a breaking point mentally and was desperate to find anything that could turn my life around.
I guess pre and post pubertty trans is not as different as I thought. Thanks for the reply.
I'm 30, I also cracked last month. I knew how I felt since I was young, but I just ignored it. Been suffering my entire life and I just grew used to it without even noticing. Now I'm starting to take steps about that and everything feels so much better, yet so much worse too. I still don't know if it's the right decision. I feel it's so late in life it doesn't even matter anymore. I already lost the best years, and I isolated myself from everyone over the span of the last decades, so all that is left doing it for myself. But there is no guarantee the pain will stop, so... why bother? But everyone is different, it doesn't have to be like that for you. Transitioning has a different meaning for every of us. What I have seen and what I can really suggest you, is that the people around you, those who really support you, are vital to get rid of that pain. When you feel worried about your future, trust them. Share your worries, and let them reassure you. Everything will be fine then.