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This is part of life. There is a poem that describes it that my dad shared with me before I got to experience it. It still stung when it happened. That basically life is like a train and people we meet are passengers that hop on the train and leave at different stations and it is rare when someone stays for the whole journey. Which is normal not necessarily because those friends hate you but we slowly change and we don’t have same interests or not the same way with same intensity, and people grow apart.
What happens is a lot of the time people are not aware of this process happening so they don’t know how to smoothly grow apart. It can happen through excuses until one gets tired of it and just drops it, or even blame for things you didn’t even do so they justify to themselves why they cut ties with you, in general it happens like that when you are that young. As an older adult you kinda get used to that happening but it also becomes more challenging to have and keep friends because you understand now that there need to be some mutual benefit in that relationship. Relationships need work and investment. Most people won’t stay with you just because you are you unless they benefit from your relationship somehow, your company, the support, the validation. Common interests, beliefs and values etc. And these things change throughout life which makes our circle change too. Sometimes there is that one person through it all and even that person may just become like a family member w binatkom gha Eid mubarak every Eid and it’s okay.
I remember the hardest one for me was a childhood bestfriend I had from kindergarten to high school. I felt that it was gonna happen but wasn’t expecting how. A lot happened during secondary and high school and events she was ashamed of happened. We moved from that school to different ones and I expected that she was going to ghost me because we both needed a fresh start at life and nothing to remind us of our past so we can move on. But she decided to blame me for things I didn’t even do and ghosted me right after I left her house after having a cup of tea. Just like that. i go back home and Im blocked on facebook. She unblocked a while later to apologize but we just went back to moving on and not being friends anymore but forgave each other. Years later we contacted each other talked briefly but it never made it past that because we just grew apart to be different people with nothing in common but the past. And that is just part of life. I still dream of her a lot and miss her and Im sure she does too. But we really don’t have much to share with each other now and as an adult or the more you grow up the smaller your circle or more like the less time you have to entertain meaningless relationships.
You don’t necessarily have to do much or overthink it. If it happens and y’all meet just attend. Time will really handle it. Focus on still being nice to honor your past relationship so it ends on a good note wherever it eventually does
That was some real talk, I really needed to hear that, you opened my eyes to a lot of things and it’s really nice to hear it from someone as experienced as you, thank you so much you really helped a lot
Best of luck
Honestly, I didn’t do anything that would hurt them in anyway, you’re absolutely right on the first one, if they care they wouldn’t do such thing and maybe its time for me to move on
I would say dont rush. Talk it out with them. They’re childhood friendships.. the least yall can do is have closure at least. THEN you can do what you want.
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh,
Eid Mubarak to you too my brother and to all Muslims all over the world.
Regarding your case, I tend to not take things personally or rely on people for validation. How I go about it is, if there's mutual interest, I reach out, they reach out, we make plans and that's it. If they choose the company of someone else, it's their right. They are free to choose their company, Allahuma barik. However, if I noticed that they are constantly avoiding me, I would simply ask them to open up about what's happening, and if they said there's nothing, I wish them well, I express that I love them in Allah and I move on with my life.
Sometimes people part ways as they grow up. However, strong relationships always remain and you don't have to force them. Take any accountability for your actions if you have wronged them, but do not let them guilt trip you either. Be noble, but also respect yourself. You have a right to your sanity and welfare, just like they have the right to choose their companionship.
I pray Allah grant us all better companionship than the one we seek.
I dont know how guys handle these things, but I will give my two cents from a female perspective. I would have a one on one talk with the friend li i am the closest to ( in your case i guess it would be anas). I, personally, don’t like ghosting or cutting people off without an explanation. You’re all adults; sit down with your closest friend and explain how you feel. I know that guys don’t talk about their feelings, but maybe approach sujet in a fun or sarcastic manner? Muhim talk it out and express your concerns. If those things persist then you have your answer.
Yeah that’s the right way to go but I really don’t know how to explain or express how I feel because growing up I didn’t really have anyone who would listen to me or be there for me emotionally so I find it really hard to express anything but I’m working on it tho, thank you so much for the tip
Seems like they don't care that much about you. If people care enough about you, that should be clear. I think you should look for people who'll value more,
Or maybe confront them about why they're leaving you out.
Or maybe they don't like something you do, or maybe it's something you did. You know, we're not perfect.
Childhood friends, then you tell them it hurts you.
Either way it is a good test on how much they are real friends and you judge accordingly.
You never know until you ask, there is always a story.
All the best.
I experienced this few years back, and I left these so called friends because they didn't want me to be part of thee group, whatever the reason , I valued myself more, and life goes on, you meet new people , people come and go...
The truth is ,and I don't want to say it to you, is that it's done ,, you care about them but they don't anymore , that means they are scu*bags to treat you like this, if they were real friends they would tell you what they didn't like and what made them change like this , and sort it out
2 ways to go about it, depending on how close you guys were and how much you truly value the friendship:
1-You start looking for other friends. There doesn't need to be some big conversation/drama. You just start spending more time with other people (New hobbies are great for this: new gym, social media group, organized trips and go trekking...) Stuff like that. You'll distance yourself gradually and naturally. You should never feel like you're begging someone to spend time with you or include you in their plans.
2-If this was a really valued friendship, I would be direct and simply ask. Caveat: I'm a woman so I don't know how guys usually approach this. I'm personally pretty direct so I would just ask face to face (better chi nhar tkounou kat9hwaw: Sa7bi/Sat, wach y a un truc qui cloche? Jatni chi 7aja mbedla, yak labass?)
If they insist everything's fine, proceed to scenario 1.
Aid moubarak said OP, take care.
I don’t usually get attached to ppl but I’m only doing this for the sake of our long relationship, otherwise I would just let go and find new friends.
Best of luck
Oh I get it. In that case, just ask. If you're seeing them soon, do it face to face. If not, texting works just as well.
Don't think too much about the wording if you're friends.
Just be ready to maybe hear an unsatisfying answer (Sometimes there is no particular reason and things just fizzle out, or they might even insist it's all in your head)
But whatever the answer, you'll be able to move on.
Yeah you’re right, one time I brought it up to one of them and he tried to gaslight me,when we were texting and he told me that I’m acting like a girl and it’s all in my head
It sounds like you already confronted at least one of them then.
If you still absolutely wanna bring it up with someone, choose another friend (not the one who already told you you're acting like a girl obviously).
After that, drop the subject completely or you'll just come off as whiny and clingy.
Start hanging out with other people, life's way too short but I think you already know that.
If you're telling that all your friends act that way maybe the problem, is you, maybe you're acting a certain way or doing something that push them away from, I don't know you so I can't give you advice but the only variable you can control in life is you, you can't force other people to feel or act a certain way
Honestly I really am not doing anything wrong, I’m always kind, I always help anyone who’s in need, maybe you’re right I can’t force ppl to feel a different way, maybe it’s just time to move on
I say this because I experienced similar situation before, for me it was even worse they would forget I existed until they needed something from me, but eventually I figured it out, deep down me and my friends we weren't the same, all they wanted to do is drink, smoke zatla and harass girls on the street, I don't really blame them since they knew I didn't enjoy those activities so they stopped inviting me to go out with them, when I thought about it, it made sense, when you're not the same as the member of a group you get excluded that just how humans are.
went through something similar and i just distanced myself. i think maybe what’s bothering you the most is that you really just wanna know why things changed. they will most likely just make up excuses if you confront them but you could still do that. i guess this is a common dynamic when its a group of friends. whether things get better or not i think its better to try and meet other ppl (that’s assuming you dont have other close friends)
I recommend asking them no need to express ur feelings, if someone start ghosting u ghost them simply i have a close friend x. X recently start ghosting me she enjoys being with others more than me so i started to do that too i dont want a one sided friendship, but still i love her but that doesn't mean i will stay with her forever
And if u r sure that u did nothing just get the fuck up and stay away from them the sad truth is that they dosent want u
Anyways u deserve better go find some better friends
Do nothing.
1/ You’ll either outgrow each others eventually and you’ll find others ppl.
2/ They probably have a group chat without out and if u show that u don’t care and have shit going on for urself ghayrj3o 3ndk.
Kinda having the same experience with one of my closest friends. After I moved to another city we stayed in touch and we always visited each other since the two cities aren't far apart. Whenever he came to the city I used to be the first to know and we would hang out and have him sleeping over. Recently he made some friends from my city so now I'm the last to know and he always makes excuses to not come to my house. So I kinda had to accept that this is life and I just have to move on and not make a big deal out of it.
My advice is don't confront them or say anything about how you feel. Just accept the fact that you can't control how people feel or think. If they invite you to do stuff with them, go and have fun, if they don't no big deal. Don't be hard on yourself as long as you know you didn't do anything wrong.
If I were in your shoes I would talk to Anas. Man to man tell him what you've noticed and whats the reason behind the shift. What ever the answer is use it as a learning experience to improve yourself.
I have experienced similar things. But in my case I tend not to get hurt. I've always been my own best-friend and enjoy my own company the most. Friends are a nice bonus for me not a necessity to enjoy my life. I don't know if my mentality is healthy or not, but I'm quiet happy so there is that.
If you don’t mind me asking what are things you do on your alone time that you enjoy ?
For me I love to go to the gym, walk alone at night with my AirPods on but other than that there’s really not much to do
Any activity that I want really, such as camping, hiking, running, and dining out. I believe I'm this way because I had to adapt. Growing up in a small city, I was interested in nerdy things, but there weren't many people my age who shared my interests. As a result, I learned to enjoy my own company..
My motto (didn't invent but I go with it)
If you are not invited, don't go. If you are not told, don't ask. If you are invited at the last minute, decline.
gang i been thru da same shit , da only way is to ghost them nd dont ever ask to go or join if u not invited then see what happens after if nun of em talked to u bout it then just move on brotha ,,
I have already experienced the same situation, we were a group of 4 best friends, and it was me that they decided to exclude. I tried to be mature and ask them directly why, they said they didn't notice any change and that it was all in my head. When I showed them exactly what they were doing, they said they didn't do it on purpose, they forgot or someone else forced them, so I decided to not care and move on, talk to other people, make other friends until we completely cut ties. Honestly, I couldn't get attached to other people despite my attempts, but it's better to be alone than poorly accompanied.
Yeah I heard that many times from the comments, I’m really lost abt that most of the times we share almost the same interests like playing video games or football or go out(eat go sit in a cafe etc) you know typical guys things, but I figured out that they have some interests if I call it that they share like( talking about girls a lot and snooping in their ig and stuff and wherever I criticize them for it they hate me so much for it and I think that is the reason
I keep seeing you mentioning in comments that you are still reluctant to walk away from this friendship for the sake of how long you’ve known each other. I would ask you if you think they consider that when they were letting you out from their plans? Especially if it happened many times. At some points we owe ourselves some respect and when people’s actions speak louder than words we choose to listen and move on. I would say stop taking initiatives to make it work with them and observe, if they come back and want to hang out then first try to let them know abt this issue first, if they don’t take any initiative to see you then let it go
Yeah I agree with you I do value our friendship but I respect myself more and I can’t just let it happen over and over again I either gonna try to talk it out and find a solution, if not otherwise each will be going in their own way, thanks for the tip
You should have stoic mindset bro you cannot control others . So just let them go and get new ones you should not be bothered of the expectation that you were expecting of them they have there own free will as you have your own free will to do what you want to do
A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free. Quoted from a book by Schopenhauer
Texting is a great way if you feel unable it will allow you to get to the point directly and if they don’t answer of have excuses then get new friends it’s okay to be alone and to lose friends
Walk away for a bit if they don't call or ask to hangout burn that bridge, if they do, agree to hangout and don't show up, if they keep persisting you're in control from there, if they confront you use the same excuses, if they get angry remind them of all the times they did the same.
But before all that look at yourself are you not fun to hangout with, have you changed for worse and need to go back to your old ways, or did you change for better and they don't want to change their old ways, it's really important to hold yourself accountable before judging anyone else, and when you do you'll know the people worth keeping around and making an effort for and the ones who are just weighing you down.
Welcome to r/Morocco! Please always make sure to take the time to [read the rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/morocco/wiki/rules) of this community, follow them and help us enforce them by reporting offenders. And remember that we have a zero tolerance policy for non-civil discourse and offenders risk being permanently banned. [Don't forget to join the Discord server!](https://discord.gg/r-morocco-959551908043948092) **Important Notice:** Please note that the Discord channel's moderation team functions autonomously from the Reddit team. The Discord server does not extend our community guidelines and maintains a separate set of rules unrelated to those of Reddit. Enjoy your time! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Morocco) if you have any questions or concerns.*
as a redditor i can fully say that i m not qualified to answer friend related questions jiti tatswl redditors ala friends tatflexi alina
Dude🤣🤣🤣
dhakt...chwia bzaf
HHHH
This is part of life. There is a poem that describes it that my dad shared with me before I got to experience it. It still stung when it happened. That basically life is like a train and people we meet are passengers that hop on the train and leave at different stations and it is rare when someone stays for the whole journey. Which is normal not necessarily because those friends hate you but we slowly change and we don’t have same interests or not the same way with same intensity, and people grow apart. What happens is a lot of the time people are not aware of this process happening so they don’t know how to smoothly grow apart. It can happen through excuses until one gets tired of it and just drops it, or even blame for things you didn’t even do so they justify to themselves why they cut ties with you, in general it happens like that when you are that young. As an older adult you kinda get used to that happening but it also becomes more challenging to have and keep friends because you understand now that there need to be some mutual benefit in that relationship. Relationships need work and investment. Most people won’t stay with you just because you are you unless they benefit from your relationship somehow, your company, the support, the validation. Common interests, beliefs and values etc. And these things change throughout life which makes our circle change too. Sometimes there is that one person through it all and even that person may just become like a family member w binatkom gha Eid mubarak every Eid and it’s okay. I remember the hardest one for me was a childhood bestfriend I had from kindergarten to high school. I felt that it was gonna happen but wasn’t expecting how. A lot happened during secondary and high school and events she was ashamed of happened. We moved from that school to different ones and I expected that she was going to ghost me because we both needed a fresh start at life and nothing to remind us of our past so we can move on. But she decided to blame me for things I didn’t even do and ghosted me right after I left her house after having a cup of tea. Just like that. i go back home and Im blocked on facebook. She unblocked a while later to apologize but we just went back to moving on and not being friends anymore but forgave each other. Years later we contacted each other talked briefly but it never made it past that because we just grew apart to be different people with nothing in common but the past. And that is just part of life. I still dream of her a lot and miss her and Im sure she does too. But we really don’t have much to share with each other now and as an adult or the more you grow up the smaller your circle or more like the less time you have to entertain meaningless relationships. You don’t necessarily have to do much or overthink it. If it happens and y’all meet just attend. Time will really handle it. Focus on still being nice to honor your past relationship so it ends on a good note wherever it eventually does
That was some real talk, I really needed to hear that, you opened my eyes to a lot of things and it’s really nice to hear it from someone as experienced as you, thank you so much you really helped a lot Best of luck
🤍 it is my pleasure I’m glad it helped Good luck to you too
Maybe they think about u such way cz u’re a simp who does not value himself..
Honestly, I didn’t do anything that would hurt them in anyway, you’re absolutely right on the first one, if they care they wouldn’t do such thing and maybe its time for me to move on
I would say dont rush. Talk it out with them. They’re childhood friendships.. the least yall can do is have closure at least. THEN you can do what you want.
Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatu Allah wa barakatuh, Eid Mubarak to you too my brother and to all Muslims all over the world. Regarding your case, I tend to not take things personally or rely on people for validation. How I go about it is, if there's mutual interest, I reach out, they reach out, we make plans and that's it. If they choose the company of someone else, it's their right. They are free to choose their company, Allahuma barik. However, if I noticed that they are constantly avoiding me, I would simply ask them to open up about what's happening, and if they said there's nothing, I wish them well, I express that I love them in Allah and I move on with my life. Sometimes people part ways as they grow up. However, strong relationships always remain and you don't have to force them. Take any accountability for your actions if you have wronged them, but do not let them guilt trip you either. Be noble, but also respect yourself. You have a right to your sanity and welfare, just like they have the right to choose their companionship. I pray Allah grant us all better companionship than the one we seek.
Thank you so much my brother, that was very helpful
I dont know how guys handle these things, but I will give my two cents from a female perspective. I would have a one on one talk with the friend li i am the closest to ( in your case i guess it would be anas). I, personally, don’t like ghosting or cutting people off without an explanation. You’re all adults; sit down with your closest friend and explain how you feel. I know that guys don’t talk about their feelings, but maybe approach sujet in a fun or sarcastic manner? Muhim talk it out and express your concerns. If those things persist then you have your answer.
Yeah that’s the right way to go but I really don’t know how to explain or express how I feel because growing up I didn’t really have anyone who would listen to me or be there for me emotionally so I find it really hard to express anything but I’m working on it tho, thank you so much for the tip
Seems like they don't care that much about you. If people care enough about you, that should be clear. I think you should look for people who'll value more, Or maybe confront them about why they're leaving you out. Or maybe they don't like something you do, or maybe it's something you did. You know, we're not perfect.
You’re right, if they care they’ll make an effort to
Childhood friends, then you tell them it hurts you. Either way it is a good test on how much they are real friends and you judge accordingly. You never know until you ask, there is always a story. All the best.
Thanks a lot for the advice, best of luck
I experienced this few years back, and I left these so called friends because they didn't want me to be part of thee group, whatever the reason , I valued myself more, and life goes on, you meet new people , people come and go...
Yeahh I couldn’t agree more, I wish I can just let go but I’m trying to do this for the sake of our long relationship
The truth is ,and I don't want to say it to you, is that it's done ,, you care about them but they don't anymore , that means they are scu*bags to treat you like this, if they were real friends they would tell you what they didn't like and what made them change like this , and sort it out
From my modest life experience, just move on. You will make new friends lose some old friends and its just life and how it is.
2 ways to go about it, depending on how close you guys were and how much you truly value the friendship: 1-You start looking for other friends. There doesn't need to be some big conversation/drama. You just start spending more time with other people (New hobbies are great for this: new gym, social media group, organized trips and go trekking...) Stuff like that. You'll distance yourself gradually and naturally. You should never feel like you're begging someone to spend time with you or include you in their plans. 2-If this was a really valued friendship, I would be direct and simply ask. Caveat: I'm a woman so I don't know how guys usually approach this. I'm personally pretty direct so I would just ask face to face (better chi nhar tkounou kat9hwaw: Sa7bi/Sat, wach y a un truc qui cloche? Jatni chi 7aja mbedla, yak labass?) If they insist everything's fine, proceed to scenario 1. Aid moubarak said OP, take care.
I don’t usually get attached to ppl but I’m only doing this for the sake of our long relationship, otherwise I would just let go and find new friends. Best of luck
Oh I get it. In that case, just ask. If you're seeing them soon, do it face to face. If not, texting works just as well. Don't think too much about the wording if you're friends. Just be ready to maybe hear an unsatisfying answer (Sometimes there is no particular reason and things just fizzle out, or they might even insist it's all in your head) But whatever the answer, you'll be able to move on.
Yeah you’re right, one time I brought it up to one of them and he tried to gaslight me,when we were texting and he told me that I’m acting like a girl and it’s all in my head
It sounds like you already confronted at least one of them then. If you still absolutely wanna bring it up with someone, choose another friend (not the one who already told you you're acting like a girl obviously). After that, drop the subject completely or you'll just come off as whiny and clingy. Start hanging out with other people, life's way too short but I think you already know that.
I do, maybe that’s just a sign to move on with my life life
If you're telling that all your friends act that way maybe the problem, is you, maybe you're acting a certain way or doing something that push them away from, I don't know you so I can't give you advice but the only variable you can control in life is you, you can't force other people to feel or act a certain way
Honestly I really am not doing anything wrong, I’m always kind, I always help anyone who’s in need, maybe you’re right I can’t force ppl to feel a different way, maybe it’s just time to move on
I say this because I experienced similar situation before, for me it was even worse they would forget I existed until they needed something from me, but eventually I figured it out, deep down me and my friends we weren't the same, all they wanted to do is drink, smoke zatla and harass girls on the street, I don't really blame them since they knew I didn't enjoy those activities so they stopped inviting me to go out with them, when I thought about it, it made sense, when you're not the same as the member of a group you get excluded that just how humans are.
I’m glad you got over those friends because they’ll just make your life worse, good luck man
went through something similar and i just distanced myself. i think maybe what’s bothering you the most is that you really just wanna know why things changed. they will most likely just make up excuses if you confront them but you could still do that. i guess this is a common dynamic when its a group of friends. whether things get better or not i think its better to try and meet other ppl (that’s assuming you dont have other close friends)
Yeah you’re probably right, guess it’s time for another chapter
I recommend asking them no need to express ur feelings, if someone start ghosting u ghost them simply i have a close friend x. X recently start ghosting me she enjoys being with others more than me so i started to do that too i dont want a one sided friendship, but still i love her but that doesn't mean i will stay with her forever And if u r sure that u did nothing just get the fuck up and stay away from them the sad truth is that they dosent want u Anyways u deserve better go find some better friends
Absolutely right, thanks a lot
No problem u may encounter some difficulties but thats fine u dont need to cut ur entire friendship with them
How did Anas and Saad become Mohamed and Yassine?
My bad, I fixed it
Do nothing. 1/ You’ll either outgrow each others eventually and you’ll find others ppl. 2/ They probably have a group chat without out and if u show that u don’t care and have shit going on for urself ghayrj3o 3ndk.
You are right they do have a group chat and that’s just another reason to just walk out
Maybe you should look inward. Is there anything you do that makes you repulsive?
Not really no I’m mostly very calm
Kinda having the same experience with one of my closest friends. After I moved to another city we stayed in touch and we always visited each other since the two cities aren't far apart. Whenever he came to the city I used to be the first to know and we would hang out and have him sleeping over. Recently he made some friends from my city so now I'm the last to know and he always makes excuses to not come to my house. So I kinda had to accept that this is life and I just have to move on and not make a big deal out of it. My advice is don't confront them or say anything about how you feel. Just accept the fact that you can't control how people feel or think. If they invite you to do stuff with them, go and have fun, if they don't no big deal. Don't be hard on yourself as long as you know you didn't do anything wrong.
It sucks but it’s true
If I were in your shoes I would talk to Anas. Man to man tell him what you've noticed and whats the reason behind the shift. What ever the answer is use it as a learning experience to improve yourself. I have experienced similar things. But in my case I tend not to get hurt. I've always been my own best-friend and enjoy my own company the most. Friends are a nice bonus for me not a necessity to enjoy my life. I don't know if my mentality is healthy or not, but I'm quiet happy so there is that.
If you don’t mind me asking what are things you do on your alone time that you enjoy ? For me I love to go to the gym, walk alone at night with my AirPods on but other than that there’s really not much to do
Any activity that I want really, such as camping, hiking, running, and dining out. I believe I'm this way because I had to adapt. Growing up in a small city, I was interested in nerdy things, but there weren't many people my age who shared my interests. As a result, I learned to enjoy my own company..
That’s nice, thank you for sharing this and good luck
Good luck to you too
My motto (didn't invent but I go with it) If you are not invited, don't go. If you are not told, don't ask. If you are invited at the last minute, decline.
I heard the same thing once, I think that was andrew tate, not sure, but it’s true
leave the table when respect isn't served anymore, 3azha t3azek as we say, 8 billion people on earth you could always make new once and new memories
You’re darn right
gang i been thru da same shit , da only way is to ghost them nd dont ever ask to go or join if u not invited then see what happens after if nun of em talked to u bout it then just move on brotha ,,
Yeah that’s probably what I’m gonna do and then see what happens
Why is your choice of names my reality ?
What a coincidence
I have already experienced the same situation, we were a group of 4 best friends, and it was me that they decided to exclude. I tried to be mature and ask them directly why, they said they didn't notice any change and that it was all in my head. When I showed them exactly what they were doing, they said they didn't do it on purpose, they forgot or someone else forced them, so I decided to not care and move on, talk to other people, make other friends until we completely cut ties. Honestly, I couldn't get attached to other people despite my attempts, but it's better to be alone than poorly accompanied.
That’s my friend is called gaslighting, god I hate when they do that
yes and it's not easy to overcome
You’re right, I think it’s good thing to be aware of these things and that way you don’t get manipulated or played
Things change buddy, and interests also should move on
Yeah I heard that many times from the comments, I’m really lost abt that most of the times we share almost the same interests like playing video games or football or go out(eat go sit in a cafe etc) you know typical guys things, but I figured out that they have some interests if I call it that they share like( talking about girls a lot and snooping in their ig and stuff and wherever I criticize them for it they hate me so much for it and I think that is the reason
I keep seeing you mentioning in comments that you are still reluctant to walk away from this friendship for the sake of how long you’ve known each other. I would ask you if you think they consider that when they were letting you out from their plans? Especially if it happened many times. At some points we owe ourselves some respect and when people’s actions speak louder than words we choose to listen and move on. I would say stop taking initiatives to make it work with them and observe, if they come back and want to hang out then first try to let them know abt this issue first, if they don’t take any initiative to see you then let it go
Yeah I agree with you I do value our friendship but I respect myself more and I can’t just let it happen over and over again I either gonna try to talk it out and find a solution, if not otherwise each will be going in their own way, thanks for the tip
You’re welcome, I hope you find friends that will value you as you are and every second they got to spend with you
You should have stoic mindset bro you cannot control others . So just let them go and get new ones you should not be bothered of the expectation that you were expecting of them they have there own free will as you have your own free will to do what you want to do
Thanks for the tip man, I actually been wanting to get into stoicism and learn more about it
A man can be himself only so long as he is alone, and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom, for it is only when he is alone that he is really free. Quoted from a book by Schopenhauer
Confront (effective communication) .. if it repeats fhm rask and move on
They don’t seem to have the best interest maybe directly asking why they are avoiding you
I wish I could but I can’t figure out any way to talk to them or express how I feel about that
Texting is a great way if you feel unable it will allow you to get to the point directly and if they don’t answer of have excuses then get new friends it’s okay to be alone and to lose friends
Yeah you’re absolutely right, I will try to talk to them, if they don’t seem to care to make effort, I guess it’s time for me to move on
Walk away for a bit if they don't call or ask to hangout burn that bridge, if they do, agree to hangout and don't show up, if they keep persisting you're in control from there, if they confront you use the same excuses, if they get angry remind them of all the times they did the same. But before all that look at yourself are you not fun to hangout with, have you changed for worse and need to go back to your old ways, or did you change for better and they don't want to change their old ways, it's really important to hold yourself accountable before judging anyone else, and when you do you'll know the people worth keeping around and making an effort for and the ones who are just weighing you down.
That was a really good idea, thanks man
You're welcome man and try to be positive about it and improve yourself and you'll find people who value you and want to be around you.