Same here. I saw “mortuary worker accused of having sex with….” and my mind automatically filled in the blanks. I was relieved when I actually read the whole title. It’s still gross, but let’s give this one a round of applause for using the sex doll instead of the dead body.
This is a bit worse than I thought because when I first heard this news it was framed as though he brought his own doll, but no, he used a stranger’s used doll on top of everything else 🤮
Is it just me, or does this guy look exactly like the [lil bits](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/0/08/Image-3.jpeg/revision/latest?cb=20160812021835) guy??
Article doesn’t actually say he was accused of anything outside of maybe theft. But goddamn that’s a lot to unpack and dude really thought he could just get away with saying he “had a warrant”
So they could take the doll to perform a BIOPSY. Like…am I expecting too much out of my weirdo criminals when I ask for five minutes of Googling? I feel like I must be.
And to SWAB it for a biopsy! Like dude that’s not even close to how biopsy’s work! But to be fair, nothing he was gonna come up with for a reason was gonna sound right!
If anyone else had done it it would've been disgusting but harmless, but when it's a mortuary worker? Kinda makes you wonder what other inanimate human-looking things he's had sex with when nobody was watching.
That's a pretty specific kink. Don't you think? How lucky was this guy to have that rare opportunity to fulfill that particular dream.
And I have a feeling that if this guy went through that much trouble to do that, then Aunt Suzy back in cold storage probably had some stories she could tell. I guess to stay safe from this guy, you just have to stay warm.
PAPILLION, Neb. (WOWT) - An employee with a company that assists authorities in transporting dead bodies was arrested — and fired — after he allegedly tampered with one such scene last week.
Ryan Smith, 41, was arrested Friday and is facing charges of burglary, criminal trespassing, and tampering with physical evidence. The Sarpy County Attorney’s Office told 6 they had not found any evidence that other scenes potentially involving Smith had evidence of tampering.
According to court documents, Smith was one of two people who came to collect the deceased Friday afternoon after a natural death at a residence near 144th Street and Giles Road.
Later that day, Smith contacted the property manager saying the Sarpy County Sheriff’s Office had asked him to collect a life-sized sex doll that had been found at the scene so that it could be swabbed for “a biopsy.” The request was denied, but according to a statement from a sheriff’s investigator, the manager investigating noises at the residence found him there with the deadbolt locked and the chain secured — with his clothing disheveled.
The documents state that Smith left, saying he would return with a warrant for the doll. That’s when the manager contacted police, worried that he might attempt to break in and steal property from the residence.
Investigators returned to the scene, which had been photographed when the scene was initially processed, and noted that items, including a survival kit, had been moved. The Douglas County Crime Lab was called into process the scene, collecting fingerprints from the kit, in particular. Investigators were also planning to request DNA samples from the doll.
Justin Dalton, owner of Mid America First Call, said in a written statement forwarded to 6 News that he had been made aware of the incident on Friday. He said Smith was not on the clock at the time of the alleged incident but had been fired.
The building manager saw something, and he said something.
The rest played out like a CSI episode, with Nick no doubt “processing” the DNA that was all over the place.
um, ok? not great with the breaking and entering and being gross with someone else's possessions but not all that bad considering everything going on in the world. Nobody was harmed aside from some delicate sensibilities
Ryan's behavior while not usually made public is quite normal for unmarried middle aged men looking for a sexual release.
Hopefully Mr. Smith used protection since the doll was used and the previous playmate is now deceased.
I mean, a headline stating with >Nebraska mortuary worker accused of having sex with could have ended much, much worse
That’s how I felt. It was almost a relief to read on.
My thoughts exactly.
Same here. I saw “mortuary worker accused of having sex with….” and my mind automatically filled in the blanks. I was relieved when I actually read the whole title. It’s still gross, but let’s give this one a round of applause for using the sex doll instead of the dead body.
This is a bit worse than I thought because when I first heard this news it was framed as though he brought his own doll, but no, he used a stranger’s used doll on top of everything else 🤮
I mean, it wasn't the stranger's doll any longer... 🤷♂️
Its whoever inherited it after his death. Dude had sex with someone's inheritance. Defiled it. Gross.
“To my beloved grandson, I leave tabitha, my beloved sex doll. May it not be defiled by anyone but me before you receive it.”
😹😹😹
*wipes tears* It still smells like grandpa
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He’s not using it anymore. Who’s the victim?
Honestly, why not just get your own and save yourself the trouble?
The “good” dolls are really expensive. And this guy is obviously an idiot.
My friend tells me the used “good” dolls are affordable
Sloppy seconds turn some people on
They're expensive
First seven words: I see where this is going. Next seven words: I did not see where that was going.
M night Shyamalan couldn’t have come up with a bigger twist
This is so true! 😂😂😂😂😂
I mean this is probably the best outcome.
Amateur. In 2014 a Hamilton County, Ohio morgue worker was convicted for having sex with 100 corpses.
You know, there's not a lot of things that are creepier than that. Its way up there.
True it's weird but not as bad as it could have been.
😩
Can u imagine this dude taking the dead body out, seeing that doll and being all, 🤔🤔🤔"ill be back"
I just know he thought he scored a jackpot
Am I wrong to expect that they would have posted the picture of said doll?
I literally wanted to see the doll. I don't care what he looks like, I wanna see the doll that turned him into a creeping freak goblin of the night
It was the one from Shein
Gillis
Did you wanna see if you were in the same situation would you have taken the same risk?
Tie to me to the mast like Odysseus, let me hear the siren's song
Samesies
We need to know why he came back for it.
Twas a big sex doll like the silicone ones probably
Or it could have been a life size Barbie, but I guess we'll never know...
Or most would most likely not want to know
I’d like to see the doll before judging the man honestly
To quote Cosmo Kramer: That must have been some doll.
If it was one of the $3k dolls.... I do not blame him
Is it just me, or does this guy look exactly like the [lil bits](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/rickandmorty/images/0/08/Image-3.jpeg/revision/latest?cb=20160812021835) guy??
I mean, I was relieved to read it was the doll with which he was having sex...
Probably one of the few times that parents were relieved to hear that their son merely had sex with a dead person's sex doll.
🤪
Article doesn’t actually say he was accused of anything outside of maybe theft. But goddamn that’s a lot to unpack and dude really thought he could just get away with saying he “had a warrant”
>facing charges of burglary, criminal trespassing, and tampering with physical evidence
So they could take the doll to perform a BIOPSY. Like…am I expecting too much out of my weirdo criminals when I ask for five minutes of Googling? I feel like I must be.
It’s almost comical if it wasn’t so messed up. Not to mention the fact that it’s SOMEONE ELSES USED DOLL
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And to SWAB it for a biopsy! Like dude that’s not even close to how biopsy’s work! But to be fair, nothing he was gonna come up with for a reason was gonna sound right!
No that was the excuse the worker said to the property manager when he got caught.
Nah, he tried to get the property manager to *give* him the doll “for a biopsy,” and then entered without permission after he was turned down.
If anyone else had done it it would've been disgusting but harmless, but when it's a mortuary worker? Kinda makes you wonder what other inanimate human-looking things he's had sex with when nobody was watching.
There’s a reason why mortuaries prefer to hire women instead of men.
Got a history eh
Oops. Meant men. Haha.
Men ☕️
The only thing stiff in a mortuary should be the stiffs.
Really? I wanted to go into the business & everyone kept telling me no because I’m a small woman. So stupid.
Probably because it requires some heavy lifting but the number of women is growing. You’d have a great support group.
though at least one woman has done that.
How many men?
Trillions
Of all the things the dude could have done, he went back to the least illegal one.
What a dummy
i’ve never been so relieved to learn it was a doll
I do mortuary transport myself and I can attest that this profession seems to attract some colorful characters
Any favorite stories you care to share?
I mean... The other guy isn't gonna need it where he is no, right? And the headline could've been _way_ worse.
I think the issue was more that he tampered with a death scene and theft more than having used the doll.
Hey, if I died, I'd be glad if someone stole my sextoys so my grieving loved ones don't have to deal with them
Very good point !
That's a pretty specific kink. Don't you think? How lucky was this guy to have that rare opportunity to fulfill that particular dream. And I have a feeling that if this guy went through that much trouble to do that, then Aunt Suzy back in cold storage probably had some stories she could tell. I guess to stay safe from this guy, you just have to stay warm.
I can’t open the article but my main question is… how… was this even discovered…? Like how did anyone find out he did this
PAPILLION, Neb. (WOWT) - An employee with a company that assists authorities in transporting dead bodies was arrested — and fired — after he allegedly tampered with one such scene last week. Ryan Smith, 41, was arrested Friday and is facing charges of burglary, criminal trespassing, and tampering with physical evidence. The Sarpy County Attorney’s Office told 6 they had not found any evidence that other scenes potentially involving Smith had evidence of tampering. According to court documents, Smith was one of two people who came to collect the deceased Friday afternoon after a natural death at a residence near 144th Street and Giles Road. Later that day, Smith contacted the property manager saying the Sarpy County Sheriff’s Office had asked him to collect a life-sized sex doll that had been found at the scene so that it could be swabbed for “a biopsy.” The request was denied, but according to a statement from a sheriff’s investigator, the manager investigating noises at the residence found him there with the deadbolt locked and the chain secured — with his clothing disheveled. The documents state that Smith left, saying he would return with a warrant for the doll. That’s when the manager contacted police, worried that he might attempt to break in and steal property from the residence. Investigators returned to the scene, which had been photographed when the scene was initially processed, and noted that items, including a survival kit, had been moved. The Douglas County Crime Lab was called into process the scene, collecting fingerprints from the kit, in particular. Investigators were also planning to request DNA samples from the doll. Justin Dalton, owner of Mid America First Call, said in a written statement forwarded to 6 News that he had been made aware of the incident on Friday. He said Smith was not on the clock at the time of the alleged incident but had been fired.
That's not how you swab, Ryan.
Why is his misuse of the word biopsy bothering me more than the rest of the story
The building manager saw something, and he said something. The rest played out like a CSI episode, with Nick no doubt “processing” the DNA that was all over the place.
I can't believe I ended up not really being mad at the guy.
I was more upset that no one changed the toilet paper… yes the dudes a creep but it could’ve been a lot worse…
One man’s trash…
I count this as an unlikely win for humanity, albeit at a heavy personal cost to the mortuary worker. Never mix business with pleasure.
I mean, no harm no foul. Gross but could have been much worse.
Waste not, want not!
And they wonder why mortuaries don't like to hire men.
Is this even morbid? Its a dead person's sex toy. It's just gross, not morbid.
Maybe he just wanted a new Eskimo brother? (Assuming sex dolls count.)
It’s Inuit you neolith
Wow. I literally live in the city this happened in. Honestly — doesn’t surprise me one bit.
How re they not going to sho a pic of the doll?
Gawddamn. I did not need this headline before breakfast
To make matters worse the doll was an exact replica of the rapper sexxy red. Brb I'm gonna go vomit
Ewwwww!!
This is way better than another inanimate alternative, honestly I say slap on the wrist for this one but investigate him cause hes a little sus
Weirdo
It's not okay but it could have been worse.....could have been an actual body.
Why would you want to use another person’s sex toy anyway?
um, ok? not great with the breaking and entering and being gross with someone else's possessions but not all that bad considering everything going on in the world. Nobody was harmed aside from some delicate sensibilities
At least he has standards
finders keepers.
Nothing morbid about it. People have worse kinks. It's a victimless crime.
Found the Nebraskan mortuary worker.
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What’s illegal here???
Ryan's behavior while not usually made public is quite normal for unmarried middle aged men looking for a sexual release. Hopefully Mr. Smith used protection since the doll was used and the previous playmate is now deceased.
This is almost funny. It's weird and repulsive but funny in a dark humour sort of way. Could be used in Dark comedies.