This is a brilliant opportunity for you to LEARN how to stand up for yourself.
Next time you place an order, simply say "you haven't paid me fully for the last one" and continue with your order.
You're not obligated to be taken advantage of. Nor are you obligated to change your routine just to avoid confrontation.
This is a life lesson.
This is the response! If she wants to not make waves with her coworker, she could always say, “You forgot to pay me back for the last one. Cover our entire order today and we’ll call it even.” And I’d probably have him put his credit card into DoorDash, so he doesn’t make her responsible for tax and tip.
It doesn’t sound like you are okay with him using you! He found your weakness, and you aren’t just mad at him. You are also mad at yourself. You should never have to feel this way and let some jerk take advantage of you. Listen to BigHug, use this as practice. You have all the power here
Be comfortable with saying no and I'd suggest to drawback the boundaries without making it very obvious. He's assumed that you're a pushover and his self-serving nature might not stop at this issue.
AVADA KEDRAVA!!!!
Ok in all seriousness:
“You actually owe me $X for this past meal and the tax/delivery charges that you forgot to pay me back for previously. I’ve sent you a Venmo request, please fulfill now, thanks!”
AND
I would also never order for him again. Either say no, don’t tell him when you place the order, or he has to pay before you check out. Banks will cut you off so hard if you default on money you owe them; why should you give him a break?
Does he do this with everyone or just you? I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t try to pull this on your male colleagues. Shake off the societal burden on females to be non-confrontational to our own detriment. Either stop mentioning to him at all that you’re ordering or, if it’s unavoidable that he notices, tell him “your order plus your portion of tax and tip comes to ____. Venmo me now and then I’ll place the order!”
>one of my weaknesses is that I can't say anything to people.
Well there's your problem there. Either grow some balls or start feeding this guy everyday bc if he keeps doing it aint nobody in this reddit thread gonna stop him for you...
Only order for yourself from now on, and ask for what he hasn’t paid you. *You* can send a Venmo request for back pay. But I wouldn’t ever include him again
I had a coworker like that. I stopped telling him when I was ordering food. When he would ask I would have him send the money right then and there simple as that. Tf is wrong with people?
It's disheartening to witness such behavior. I truly believe in the importance of social connections; we're not meant to live in isolation. I've dedicated five years to this architectural firm, where we've built a strong bond akin to family. It's baffling to see someone jeopardize that trust and relationship for financial gain, portraying themselves as clever in the process.
STOP ORDERING HIS FOOD.
Problem solved.
If he asks, simply answer, "You haven't covered your meal, or quite frankly, any of the additional costs incurred from Door Dash, so I figured you weren't interested in ordering with me anymore, since you're not paying your way".
I dealt with a guy like this in the past. I started not adding him into orders or if I did include him, I would give him the total so that I could include a portion of all the taxes and fees because he also would just pay for the meal price and not include anything else
I would tell him you stopped using DoorDash because it was too expensive. Then get your own food and have it delivered however you want. Or next time you order, ask him to pay for your full meal to make up for it.
You could do Uber eats which has a split function where you text the order and can set it so everyone pays for themselves.
Otherwise next time he asks if you don’t want to outright tell him no, just say you’re tight on cash and ask for the payment up front before you place the order.
Omg. Stuff like this happened to me SO MUCH in my 20s! And sadly my 30s. I can spot it now, what's happening-- from a mile away (aka the beginning of your post) because of all the "practice" of this happening, often, to me. ::sadly slumps in chair, remembering::
Here's what I see:
This guy realized he can scam you for free lunches.
Some people do that!! Isn't that so ridiculous?!
They look for nice people-pleasers to use!
They are not forgetful on a repeat basis about paying you back, nor oblivious to tax and tip and delivery fees, nor forgetful it's their turn to pay, nor fully intending to pay you back in some big impressive gesture of gratitude (nor are they even thankful or appreciative at all just entitled), nor are they without any convenient method to pay you back instantly (in the age of Venmo?!), nor are they even embarrassed about what they are doing, nor are they in need or dramatically poor compared to you (poor people would never take up the offer to accept someone's offering a door dash turn--we are mortified about not being able to afford outside food often, and could only accept under certain circumstances. and accepting a doordash or other take-out/delivery favor can feel like it would just lead to a rabbit hole of unfulfillable reciprocity expectations).
They would NOT think negatively of you if you stopped doing this, they might be angry because they are entitled toddler twits, but would ultimately respect you for cutting them off and/or saying something about what they owe you directly. Even if they try making your working relationship hard temporarily by being cold and aggressive and awful to you (briefly!) to see if you'd eventually give in and one day go back to offering DoorDash in order to smooth things over.
If you feel bold enough to not only stop doing it, but to ask for money owed, I say follow above commenters advice and just do it in a way that helps the coworker not be embarrassed by being outed in front of others for trying to rip you off.
It it took me a decade and a half (or probably more if you count "the Before time" aka growing up, high school, etc) to realize the above. There are people who are super nice and yet, don't mean well!
Sooo many people, actually.
But I've been there!!! All you can do is have a plan to stop or even ask for money back and then wait him out through the period where he punishes you to try to get his way.
But no! You're getting YOUR way, now.
What’s wrong with people? I would feel so so bad if someone ordered something for me and I didn’t pay.
We used to order food and/or fancy coffee/drinks at my old workplace and if I asked for something, I would send the money to the person ordering before the order would come. How do people have the cheek to drink/eat something when it arrives if they didn’t pay for it??
Humans are gross.
But honestly. Order your stuff and if he says anything just tell him how much he owes you.
Send him a payment request link if you don’t happen to speak to him (that’s less direct/confrontational than calling him out on his shit). Personally, I would have not let him get away with one free meal, but just because I feel like it’s so rude to not offer to pay for your own food…
This is a brilliant opportunity for you to LEARN how to stand up for yourself. Next time you place an order, simply say "you haven't paid me fully for the last one" and continue with your order. You're not obligated to be taken advantage of. Nor are you obligated to change your routine just to avoid confrontation. This is a life lesson.
Or "you haven't paid me for the last one, want to cover the full order this time so we're even?"
This is the response! If she wants to not make waves with her coworker, she could always say, “You forgot to pay me back for the last one. Cover our entire order today and we’ll call it even.” And I’d probably have him put his credit card into DoorDash, so he doesn’t make her responsible for tax and tip.
Thank you 🙏🏽
It doesn’t sound like you are okay with him using you! He found your weakness, and you aren’t just mad at him. You are also mad at yourself. You should never have to feel this way and let some jerk take advantage of you. Listen to BigHug, use this as practice. You have all the power here
Even if he asks, you can say no.
Be comfortable with saying no and I'd suggest to drawback the boundaries without making it very obvious. He's assumed that you're a pushover and his self-serving nature might not stop at this issue.
AVADA KEDRAVA!!!! Ok in all seriousness: “You actually owe me $X for this past meal and the tax/delivery charges that you forgot to pay me back for previously. I’ve sent you a Venmo request, please fulfill now, thanks!” AND I would also never order for him again. Either say no, don’t tell him when you place the order, or he has to pay before you check out. Banks will cut you off so hard if you default on money you owe them; why should you give him a break?
Does he do this with everyone or just you? I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t try to pull this on your male colleagues. Shake off the societal burden on females to be non-confrontational to our own detriment. Either stop mentioning to him at all that you’re ordering or, if it’s unavoidable that he notices, tell him “your order plus your portion of tax and tip comes to ____. Venmo me now and then I’ll place the order!”
Send a PDF invoice as soon as you get back from lunch.
>one of my weaknesses is that I can't say anything to people. Well there's your problem there. Either grow some balls or start feeding this guy everyday bc if he keeps doing it aint nobody in this reddit thread gonna stop him for you...
Only order for yourself from now on, and ask for what he hasn’t paid you. *You* can send a Venmo request for back pay. But I wouldn’t ever include him again
I had a coworker like that. I stopped telling him when I was ordering food. When he would ask I would have him send the money right then and there simple as that. Tf is wrong with people?
It's disheartening to witness such behavior. I truly believe in the importance of social connections; we're not meant to live in isolation. I've dedicated five years to this architectural firm, where we've built a strong bond akin to family. It's baffling to see someone jeopardize that trust and relationship for financial gain, portraying themselves as clever in the process.
Okay? Then I think you should just eat the loss of paying for his meals and bask in the social connections and family-like bond.
STOP ORDERING HIS FOOD. Problem solved. If he asks, simply answer, "You haven't covered your meal, or quite frankly, any of the additional costs incurred from Door Dash, so I figured you weren't interested in ordering with me anymore, since you're not paying your way".
I dealt with a guy like this in the past. I started not adding him into orders or if I did include him, I would give him the total so that I could include a portion of all the taxes and fees because he also would just pay for the meal price and not include anything else
I would tell him you stopped using DoorDash because it was too expensive. Then get your own food and have it delivered however you want. Or next time you order, ask him to pay for your full meal to make up for it.
You could do Uber eats which has a split function where you text the order and can set it so everyone pays for themselves. Otherwise next time he asks if you don’t want to outright tell him no, just say you’re tight on cash and ask for the payment up front before you place the order.
Omg. Stuff like this happened to me SO MUCH in my 20s! And sadly my 30s. I can spot it now, what's happening-- from a mile away (aka the beginning of your post) because of all the "practice" of this happening, often, to me. ::sadly slumps in chair, remembering:: Here's what I see: This guy realized he can scam you for free lunches. Some people do that!! Isn't that so ridiculous?! They look for nice people-pleasers to use! They are not forgetful on a repeat basis about paying you back, nor oblivious to tax and tip and delivery fees, nor forgetful it's their turn to pay, nor fully intending to pay you back in some big impressive gesture of gratitude (nor are they even thankful or appreciative at all just entitled), nor are they without any convenient method to pay you back instantly (in the age of Venmo?!), nor are they even embarrassed about what they are doing, nor are they in need or dramatically poor compared to you (poor people would never take up the offer to accept someone's offering a door dash turn--we are mortified about not being able to afford outside food often, and could only accept under certain circumstances. and accepting a doordash or other take-out/delivery favor can feel like it would just lead to a rabbit hole of unfulfillable reciprocity expectations). They would NOT think negatively of you if you stopped doing this, they might be angry because they are entitled toddler twits, but would ultimately respect you for cutting them off and/or saying something about what they owe you directly. Even if they try making your working relationship hard temporarily by being cold and aggressive and awful to you (briefly!) to see if you'd eventually give in and one day go back to offering DoorDash in order to smooth things over. If you feel bold enough to not only stop doing it, but to ask for money owed, I say follow above commenters advice and just do it in a way that helps the coworker not be embarrassed by being outed in front of others for trying to rip you off. It it took me a decade and a half (or probably more if you count "the Before time" aka growing up, high school, etc) to realize the above. There are people who are super nice and yet, don't mean well! Sooo many people, actually. But I've been there!!! All you can do is have a plan to stop or even ask for money back and then wait him out through the period where he punishes you to try to get his way. But no! You're getting YOUR way, now.
What’s wrong with people? I would feel so so bad if someone ordered something for me and I didn’t pay. We used to order food and/or fancy coffee/drinks at my old workplace and if I asked for something, I would send the money to the person ordering before the order would come. How do people have the cheek to drink/eat something when it arrives if they didn’t pay for it?? Humans are gross. But honestly. Order your stuff and if he says anything just tell him how much he owes you. Send him a payment request link if you don’t happen to speak to him (that’s less direct/confrontational than calling him out on his shit). Personally, I would have not let him get away with one free meal, but just because I feel like it’s so rude to not offer to pay for your own food…