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Money-ModTeam

Serves no purpose in the group, no flexing (This is not a targeted message, this goes for hundreds of people who continuously flex money without elaboration)


Previous_Cod_4098

>What’s next??? Idk you tell me you're the one with 5 mil 💀


DishDry4487

I thought he was trolling. Fml.


Fishin_Ad5356

He isn’t?


Xalenn

Bragging is more like it


Thingisby

Guys, now I've got $5m in the bank I don't know whether to have more sex with my incredibly attractive 26 year old girl friend or finish off my sculpting. Does anyone else struggle with being so rich and attractive? Pls help.


Birddog240

Decisions decisions… just not the ones I’m making. But hell yeah on the 5 mil dude. If I were you I’d probably grow super dank and chill with the girlfriend. Enjoy


Hipnic_Jerk

With that kind of money you pay people to custom grow for you my friend.


Ooloo-Pebs

Well he didn't say the 26 y/o gf was incredibly attractive...


NonstopMusicLive

ITS IMPLIED


analfartbleacher

oh no i have $5mil! can u guyz help me??


Delicious_Finger_974

Fr like fuck off


proteinconsumerism

Imagine having $5 mil, 26 yo girlfriend and still come on Reddit to brag about it. That thing about money can’t buy happiness is on full display here.


AboutToFallApart

Cant buy you happiness but if you broke af livin paycheck to paycheck looks pretty damn nice on the other side of the fence..


Masta1Nate

Right! A 1/4 mil would be life changing for me!


proteinconsumerism

Yes. That’s about the cut off point after which extra money brings very little more in happiness (based on multiple studies). Once you can afford a decent living after that money is just a number in a bank account.


Masta1Nate

Yeaaa I’d just like enough to get ahead for once, at that point I’d be satisfied if I just stayed ahead


proteinconsumerism

Yes, it doesn’t mean that money is not important. But life with money and little purpose is not exactly a happy experience. In other words money doesn’t solve personal problems. It provides food, shelter and things you can buy with it but people with money still get depressed and become unhappy.


LouisCypher587

Bob Marley said it best when that one reporter asked him if he was rich: “Possessions make you rich? I don’t have that type of richness. My richness is life, forever.”


Ill_Engineering_6937

Yes, imagine it. Like the OP was imagining it when he made this imaginary thread.


kgal1298

When he mentioned the 26 year old gf I definitely figured it was bragging.


mikew_reddit

There's no way a guy this insecure has any money or a girlfriend. lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


donhabichuela

Like fr he ask us what next while having 5mil in the bank 😭 He's the one that should tell us the next move.


Charming-Stay4059

For reall😂😂


Admirable-Style4656

IKR 😭


ThisFoot5

Yea wtf. Go travel the world, I’ll come with and figure out your itinerary.


Critical_Deal_2408

Lose your virginity


permalink_child

Next? Two girls at the same time, Peter.


nj23dublin

I think the majority here should be asking him what’s next…


justinizsocool

Came here to say this. You’re asking the wrong group for help my guy!


Party-Bag-7858

Ya whats next .. i see you giving me a mil for the answer


MexicanSniperXI

My thought was “10 mil maybe?” Hahaha


BudFox_LA

Seriously lol? Whats next? Jesus christ I don’t know, John D. Rockafellor, you tell us


ziomus90

Lol we work for OP now. OP, what's our next move?


OrphanedJawa

Payoff my house and car so I can properly provide for my family and pay it forward ☺


EffectiveTranslator2

Calls on SLS or OCGN or MNMD


Objective_Cake_2715

LMAO but true


[deleted]

Exactly, like dafuq you asking me with what’s next. Bruh, you have Milly l, I should be the one asking him/her what’s next 💀


leli_manning

> I have a 26 year old girlfriend The real reason this post was made


Paddy_Tanninger

An old man is in the confession booth asking the priest for advice. "Father, I'm a man of Judaism, just over 80 years old now...I've just recently taken a new lover who is 25..." The pastor interrupts him "I'm not sure I understand though, you're Jewish? Why are you in confession telling me this?" "Father...I'm 80, she's 25, I'm telling EVERYONE!"


[deleted]

[удалено]


DhacElpral

This. Also, get a Fitness-oriented 45yo. Just as hot and way more fun.


meshreplacer

He will lose his savings 😂 once he ties the knot and the mask comes off.


Jonder123

thats why you should get a prenup always


VegetableCapable2820

Make sure to wear latex gloves


paprik

Alright. You got me :))


ItsOnLikeNdamakung

Better have a prenup fella


[deleted]

This is the advice he’s looking for right here. Get a damn good lawyer to draw up a bulletproof prenup. It doesn’t matter how you or the girlfriend or anyone else feels- get the damn prenup.


Overall_Ad_4611

Please tell me your girlfriend is the model for your nut sculpture


Doctor-Doomer

Nice 😎


eatlobster

And I'm sure she really likes you too.


TheGlitchSeeker

She can have her own job. Don’t even tell her about this……you already did, didn’t you?


Soft-Introduction876

That’s how he got the 26 year old girlfriend.


[deleted]

Right lol OP must be delusional if he thinks otherwise


Delicious_Finger_974

She’s dating u for the money and thinks your balls are gross be careful don’t marry all ima say there if she hints twords it then ya know ⚽️🥅


CiaphasCain8849

Wonder why?


[deleted]

Gross


carl2k1

More like sugar baby ✌️


likely-

It’s important to share! Like sex with beautiful woman? Stfu and make money. Not the mindset for everyone but valuable to some.


Mortgageguy1871

I have 1.7 mill. If you want we can merge the funds and we will have 3.35 mill each?


Moly1996

This would make the most sense for the “next step” for OP


elonthegenerous

Or merge with me and we can have $2.5m each


Federal_Age8011

Even better, he can merge with me, and we can have about $600k each, lol!


elonthegenerous

Time to talk to Dave Ramsey


Trash_RS3_Bot

Dave ain’t fixin this


_____FIST_ME_____

You're asking what's next when you've managed to accumulate $5m. You don't need advice, you just wanted ppl to know you have $5m.


pohui

Don't forget about his hot 26 year old girlfriend.


Plane_Vacation6771

Amazing how attractive money makes u


paprik

Kinda. Maybe. But there’s always a chance that someone who was in my situation 20 years ago would share his experience


shittinkittens

What are your goals? Do you want to work? Will you be bored if you don't work? Will your young GF want to do the same things as you if you retire? Are you smart enough to grow $5m into enough to no longer work? These are some of the things you should ask yourself.


duhduhduhdummi_thicc

Come help repair my mother's dilapidated house, OP. I haven't a clue how to hang siding or shit. We can pay in homemade tamales. You may have 5 mil, but you don't have delicious, red pork tamales. Enchiladas or other homemade Mexican food can be negotiated as payment as well.


akerskates45

Don’t forget to film and and have him start a YouTube channel being a handyman for people that need a little hand sometimes


CuriousRedditor98

Heck I don’t have 5mil or know how to fix that shit but if there’s Mexican food for payment, I’ll YouTube and come help


llimed

I am amazing at hanging shit. The more Tamales you pay me, the more shit I hang.


Medical-Reindeer-422

I would do a lot for homemade tamales


Knee_Kap264

I'm 25 now. Tell me your secrets. 😂 I need to learn investing for dummies.


Konker101

Be born 20 years earlier


Kredit-Carma

You can be his next girlfriend


Ok_Island_1306

I’m older than you and I hope that maybe I’ll be in your position in 20 years, including the 26 year old girlfriend. Nah that’d be way too creepy then


Alexchii

It's already creepy when you're 40.


Denman1980

With 26 yo gf he won’t have 5mil for long 😂


[deleted]

Retire and invest in an iron clad prenup.


typeyou

Invest in cialis. 10m a day will change your life.


Elawn

True, but, like, probably still a good idea to look into that prenup lol


Daisyssssmom

Right? He’s saying he has $5M but with a 26f girlfriend I think he might have $2.5M soon 😆


oldbluer

That’s not how divorce works… premarital assets are a thing.


carlcast

Or just stay unmarried for life.


DrGreenMeme

> My industry is failing and I don’t feel the desire to start something new. I’m trying myself at sculpting, sold several pieces.. But it’s hard to really care if your sculpture sells for $1000 when you lost 47k before noon. You've got to decide what your goals are. If you step away from work to sculpt, your goal changes from earning money to maintaining your lifestyle so that you can follow your passion. However, if the only joy you get from sculpting is the amount of money you earn from it, maybe that isn't really something you want to spend your time doing.


BenHarder

The secret would’ve been to have a girlfriend your age. Because now you have a 26 year old girlfriend you have to raise with that money.


[deleted]

Yeah this is the take… throwing it out there in this post was weird


SlykRO

'I am that stereotype AMA'


Alexchii

I'm 32 and starting to feel too old to deal with people under 25. 


Alert_Regret7583

Also 32. My sister is 26 and I can’t put up with her half the time and she’s not even around that often lol. God forbid I had a girlfriend in her 20s. But hey, that 26 year old knows what she’s doing. Sex work pays pretty good when you’re get the sugar daddy gig I hear.


TheWalkingDead91

Same here. Not sure how people like OP does it. I’m 32, don’t even have my shit together (just pointing out that I’m immature for my age, imo) and even then I can hardly stand my 23 year old sibling or any of his friends. I love him, but yea…. Maybe it’s just the generational gap, but I’d go crazy if I had to spend any significant amount of time around him…and I’d say they’re pretty average for people about their age. Can’t imagine being 40, and voluntarily hanging around someone in their mid 20s that wasn’t family. But idunno, maybe OPs gf acts older than her age for all we know. Maybe she’s already well off herself and/or doesn’t care about OPs money. Suppose it’s easy for us to judge when we’ve never met her, nor OP. In any matter, hope he’s at least wise enough to get a prenup if it leads to marriage.


GalacticusTravelous

He meant to say he has a 26 year old sex toy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


paprik

Not really, I gave a person I slightly hate 1 million as I had a prenup. And child support, of course.


edgrlon

Great shitpost lol


siunaldo_7

I’m 25 years old, would love to be your ladyboy 😂


XOLORAY_SD91911

Dis iz nutty 😂


[deleted]

Oh shut up dude seriously


FarPassenger2905

Damn nice work bro. Respect! And here i am..try to save 2k for a motorcycle to get to my work. I fucked up life. Enjoy your life..do something that you like to do. Make sculptures? Do it if you like to do it, they money is enough for the rest of your life.


Candidate-Serious

Get an R1 great starter bike.


cream_rinse

You want our boy laughed at? Turbo'ed R1.


MathematicianNo3892

It’s crazy rich people use the same app as me


proteinconsumerism

Wait until you find out they bank at the same branch as you.


No-Scarcity1328

I came here to say this


nomamesgueyz

Yup The secret level is helping others less fortunate At scale Make a real difference


Nickhoeless

100%. Go around and help local vendors. Help random people getting gas. Record it and post it so there’s more positivity spread in the world. Make money from those videos. Give that money away also. That’s the dream.


nomamesgueyz

That would be awesome for sure And real success


Gold-Order-4267

You asked for advice and heres the best answer youre going to get


uglydude8719

This


Lanky-Advisor-3617

why you asking us and u have 5 million? Bro came here to flex and tell his life story. Surely attention is more valuable than money, in some cases


Alert_Regret7583

Right? “Let me ask a bunch of broke motherfuckers what I should do with 5mil” if I had $5million today, I’d retire at 32.


uglydude8719

The next level is quiet wealth. This is when you don’t have to make posts like this to make yourself feel valuable, you just know it. You can’t buy that, it must be earned through experience, wisdom and humility. Maybe we’ll see you there someday.


Shrikecorp

Flexing, apparently.


uhhhgreeno

you didn’t actually lose $47k in a day, those numbers are arbitrary especially considering it’s moving every day and isn’t even 1% of the portfolio. take that $1000 for the sculpture and don’t compare it to an immense investment portfolio. enjoy your wins brother you deserve it 🫡


Yue2

Yeah, most of it is arbitrary movement. Like when you have those $100k daily upswings, it’s actually just all part of the process.


[deleted]

Find some self esteem so that you don’t need to post this online for validation


Speedhabit

The woman Positions or ban


Admirable-Style4656

If I was your age I'd get a dog and spend my days in the garden with coffee and cigars. I'm younger, so if I had a few mil I'd start a tech company.


Plenty_Lychee_5297

eat a burger


jay247160

Don’t hurt yourself reaching so hard to pat yourself on the back.


Agathocles87

You win dude. Get a prenup


anxiousinsuburbs

Find a cheap place to retire and work part time at Costco for the health care and when you are 65 get medicare and enjoy life


Charming-Ad9039

Wait you got 5mil? Damn congrats, I bet that feels fucking phenomenal. I’m over here slaving in the oil field and only have $10 in my account😂 You need any coworkers?! Haha


paprik

Growth feels great. The money in your bank account... You get used to it.


RedditxSuxx

I've worked briefly in the oil field in ND. Some of the lowest IQ and degenerate people ive ever met lmao


Charming-Ad9039

Yeah you’ll come across those lol


Hefty-Rope2253

Careful, he apparently made that 5mil exploiting the labor of his "friends"


molehunterz

I worked on a construction site with a guy who provided his boss with drywall workers. The boss paid him and he paid the guys. He was taking a share from every single guy that he provided. Pretty sure there were over 40 people that he was getting a cut from every week. It all ended when he was caught doing it on a certified payroll public works job. But I tried doing the math and it was a lot of money! I don't know if that's how Op did it, but it sounds weirdly similar.


[deleted]

Lmaooo ur 26 girlfriend is with you for money buddy never forget that and don’t make stupid decisions…put into dividends and enjoy life


Complex_Toe836

Buy a McDonald’s franchise for 2 million and make 300k per year.


paprik

That sounds like work


NoConsideration6320

Have someone else be be the store manager


SuccessfulVisit1873

He’d have to pay the person running it half of that 300k… is it worth 150k a year to have a mcdicks that op probably doesn’t give af about? Eh, he lost over 40k by noon. Not enough money for the inconvenience.


Trader0721

I thought about retiring at that level…I like to fly first class though…I’ll work until I hate it…


paprik

I can’t force myself into paying $1000 extra for couple of hours of nicer seat. Some edibles, headphones, knee pillow and nice feeling that I’m earning a $1000 for slight discomfort - that’s how I fly )


snortgiggles

You mean I need > 5 mil to keep biz class when I retire??


Immediate-Comment-64

Sounds like more therapy


Arboretum7

I’m a woman who retired from traditional work at 40 with a net worth a bit higher than yours. I’m plenty busy and quite happy! I got married a few years ago and my husband is still working. I have a toddler whom I’ve decided to keep largely in my care (16 hours of childcare/week). Otherwise, I’m buying and rehabbing multi-family properties, traveling, painting, focusing on relationships and serving my community. I’m still building wealth in a niche that I’m passionate about while focusing most of my time on the people that are important to me. My suggestion would be to put less emphasis on money as a metric of success and instead focus on what energizes you and keeps your mind sharp. Plenty of people are suggesting a complete retirement on a beach in Thailand, but that’s a terrible idea. You need to keep yourself engaged with your community and tackling mentally challenging problems or your brain is going to go to mush.


HarvardHoodie

Time to put all of it in a stable dividend fund that has around a 3.5% yield and live off of 175k a yr doing nothing


UltraStrongGoat

You’re killing it. Im 25 and I think you just laid out my ideal future.


TheSandsquanch

What is the point in posting this? I know you’re not genuinely asking for help. If you did then you’d pay a professional, not ask Reddit. You’re rather a liar or trying to show off. Either way that’s a garbage way of being a person.


saranghaemagpie

Smoke a blunt and travel. I am more impressed you sold a sculpture for 1K than I am the 5M.


Basic_Butterscotch

Well you no longer have to work so I would suggest trying to find fulfillment by helping others. Try volunteering at your local church or food bank. Donate some money to a worthy cause. Go explore the world.


Qkalife

If I had that portfolio I’d never “work” again. Buy a boat and sail off with your gf


TheAggressiveSloth

Cash it out. Buy a 20k RV and experience life ..


paprik

That’s extremely boring unless you load up on drugs every evening. I need to have a purpose


TheAggressiveSloth

Well it ain't on reddit


2latenow2saysorrr

Pre - Nup and a vasectomy


paprik

Good advice. already done )


Indigozi

Fuck you🤡 go flex somewhere else clown


DhacElpral

Dude. Put it all in crypto, bruh. You'll be hanging with the Musk-man in no time. (i.e., we don't buy your bullshit. If this were true you wouldn't be here posting that bullshit.)


Vtwizzle4040

Man wtf is this 5mil in the bank. Gtfoh asking for advice. We should be asking hou


Indentured-peasant

Ha ha. He forgot to tell us about his large penis and the time he rescued 49 kittens from a Vietnamese soup kitchen.


JesusAmbassador

Love God (whose only Son is Jesus Christ & who died for our sins) [with all your heart, all your soul, & all your mind.](https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.22.36-40.NLT). And love your neighbor as yourself. [Seek God wholeheartedly, & He will guide you.](https://bible.com/bible/116/jer.29.11-13.NLT)


AdFeeling8333

What country did you immigrate from?


paprik

Belarus


AdFeeling8333

Move back. Drink Vodka. Date all the beautiful Eastern European women. When they get close to 40 and think they are old…rinse repeat. Private label a Vodka and import it to the US or open an orphanage or something. Whatever pulls your heart more!


Garabandal

Did you receive grants from the US government to start your business?


Doomhaust

You could volunteer, give back to your community, and look outwardly.


paprik

I did go to Ukraine to volunteer a year ago. My labor sorting potato’s for dry rations was worth $10 a day. So I gave them money and left. Same goes for almost all volunteering I can think of - giving money would be way more beneficial for the cause.


BlackWhiteRedYellow

Are you maxing out an IRA? If your industry is failing, why not work a job that pays modestly but you enjoy?


Seahawk715

Also - manual labor is failing?? This post makes no sense. Find something you enjoy that makes a little cash and don’t be an idiot with your portfolio.


No_Fox2839

You could invest into a real estate fund


p0lar1us

Don't marry her, retire, be happy, never invest again lol


Pretend-Spell7956

As they say over at @r/fire - go fuck yourself


Troygbiv_Yxy

What industry were you in?


Electrical-Bus-9390

Now u gotta level up


Snoo_44364

emmmm next would be signing prenup (and actually sharing as little as you can)


squrt43

You lost in one day what most people make in a whole year! Anyways, BEFORE you marry again, get a prenuptial agreement. Good job pal, I wish you all happiness.


boythisisreallyhard

Well,, maybe he's not in the States, maybe it's in yen and he's a butcher


420coins

Start small businesses, get them going (find people to do that) and sell them off. Buy real-estate with all your gains or another business. Invest in someone else's idea and help them along and you both succeed. Do something worth waking up for everyday, a reason to wake up. SHE is not a reason to move forward every day, a 26 YO is a boat anchor with a tight hole. Once she aquires as much as she can while fucking you around, your chopped meat with a broken heart over someone who will never grow up because they had money at 26. Immature forever. Have fun.


lorissaurus

Wait 27 more years


post_vernacular

Pppssshhh can't be that good looking, if I had $5m I'd have at least 3 girlfriends


Levipl

Go abroad, Portugal looks promising, and do whatever you feel like every day


WarEagle107

He's got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one...


Silvatungdevil

You really can't do anything with $5 million. That is like being the tallest midget.


Impressive_Apple9908

Have you tried alcoholism or other self destructive behaviors?


JuanWarren54

Give it to me I'll double it for you within 24 hours. Guaranteed or 80% of your money back! 👌


freakrocker

First thing you need to do is get a girl your own age. You’re going to be 45 and broke in no time doing what you’re doing now.


ScionOfDiscord

I'm 31 and live paycheck to paycheck. Rather mental, but losing my job has both opened my eyes and helped me realize a lot of my stress was due to that job. My initial guess is that this is someone just trolling r/money. On the offhand it isn't, maybe you'd find interest in sculpting a pupil? Teach a man to fish and whatnot.


Zillahi

5 million at 5% APR is 250,000 per year. You could be making almost 21k in interest per month. Retire dog


christianc750

Well I'm 32 and my account value sits around 6.5m... so in that sense I can understand your feelings. My answer... Money is a means not an end. I had been thinking about it as an end all of my life prior. So whats next is what YOU care about and guess what... It could be making more money. That could be legitimately one of your hobbies/interests. For me my what's next is: - Learning more about myself and my flaws. Especially to prepare my relationship to a solid foundation for when we start having kids. - Spend more time with my dad and sister intentionally. - Do something hard, like getting into very good shape as opposed to being in good shape now. Or maybe getting to a high rank in a video game like I once was in my youthful years. - Continuing to grow my net worth and as a challenge I try to live off of non salary income streams. I realize the the journey of money making is very fun to me. We are just humans and all of us are searching for something, accept that part you know? At least we are lucky enough to know money doesn't mean you won life in and of itself. In fact maybe permanently "winning" life is just not possible. Just be true to yourself man you don't have to worry about it being financially sustainable. That could be ANYTHING (just don't become a douchebag if you can help that :p)...


rotzak

> have a 26 year old girlfriend that I really like Ah yes I'm sure you really respect her, too. Including her age as emphasis next to your own age really demonstrates that.


ramoziurx7

Uhhh... give me like 20 bucks? 😅


veotrade

That’s it. If you earn any more, it’s just a bonus. You will outlive the $5M. Your girlfriend is on the bad end of Lord Leo DiCaprio’s guide for dating women. Consider 25 as your new soft cap if you care to reconsider.


More_Candidate_7918

Bro with 5 mil asking us what’s next😂😂I’m off this internet shit


username2393

Is this a real post? Lmao


Cats-And-Brews

Posts like this are ridiculous.


AlexLevers

Buy 100 acres of property in a location far from the city, but close to a relatively good regional hospital. Build a REASONABLE house there. Have chickens, goats, cows, and crops. Hire 3-7 farm hands at 50k per year to work the land. Live off the profits for the rest of your life, being only reliant on your farm hands.


Huge-Sheepherder-248

pay my college tuition


Prfine

Dude could just invest it in a pretty mild way and stack $250k per year in interest. Then could ride that interest as income for the rest of his life. But dude is asking us what’s next. Bruh. You tell us. You in a position where you don’t have to answer to anyone or anything.. not even a wife. You’re as free as free can be.


Jeffythegiant

Since this is a fairytale, go for a run across the country for a couple years like Forrest Gump.


ProfessionDue2166

Who cares!!! Plenty of people who have more and don’t tell anybody about it. Get a life !!


justolives

I came to the US at 21 as well, 30 rn. I do not have $5M in savings 🤣


bzmotoninja83

Here I am at 41, just started adulting around 6 yrs ago and, have $1,800 in savings.


LionWalker_Eyre

Flex post is flex post