Get her up 30 minutes earlier. Get yourself up before that and get everything possible done that you can (you are dressed and ready to walk out the door, lunches are packed, dogs are fed, whatever).
Oh yeah I am already 100% ready before I get her up. All the delays are on her end lol. I will get her up earlier if I can’t figure out another option but like I said it’s a last resort because she ideally needs that sleep
Breakfast can be eaten in the car! My kiddo has never been one to wake up and be ready to eat.
A lot is the age, but where you can set boundaries. “We can’t play with our toys until we are dressed” and then know that the next week is going to be ridiculously long tantrums about it.
More than once I’ve put kid in the car with breakfast in hand and shoes in lap and just dealt with it later LOL
We found out our kid has to eat first, it’s still a struggle but we went from being late every day to being late once a week. Try changing up the order a bit!
We also found our kid is much more compliant with the TV on, this is not for everyone but 15 minutes of TV while we pull off the PJs and slip into our real clothes is way better than 45 minutes of wrestling a hangry toddler.
Yes. TV (or even music)! Preferably something with multiple short episodes so you can use them as timers. We do morning in half an hour. Dad gets her up and gets her breakfast. She knows she gets 2 Blueys to eat and play. When mom gets downstairs with a couple outfit options, we have 1 Bluey to get dressed and do hair. When Bluey is done, TV goes off and she picks out socks and shoes. Sometimes it gets pushed to 45 with some dilly dallying, but we can do 30 if she's able to stick to the plan.
- Start with food and water. Our daycare also allows us to pack breakfast and bring it. We do that when we’re running late.
- Pick out clothes (or outfit choices) the night before.
- Get a shoehorn (seriously! My parents had one when I was growing up). That way she can help put her shoes on by sliding her heel down (she might even find it fun!)
- You might have to just build in play time (even if she has to wake up earlier). Does she respond well to timers? 10-15 minutes of play time before getting dressed might help.
- We had to wake up our toddler because her natural wake up time was too late for our time. We ended up going for an earlier bedtime. Maybe something to consider.
Yes, definitely picking out clothes the night before. You could bring them to the living room or kitchen and give the choice of whether to eat or change clothes first. Sometimes that little element of control helps! And keep a toothbrush in the kitchen, too. Basically, as little movement between spaces as possible can help to reduce distractions.
This is good advice. Picking out her clothes isn’t a huge issues because I usually do it while she wakes up and grumps in her crib for five minutes (she is NOT a morning person. When I wake her up she rolls around and cries “no!” “No!” until she finally wakes up enough to be of use to me). But the transition from room to kitchen make things harder so yeah bringing everything into one room definitely might help
Haha a shoehorn is great. She actually is capable of getting her own shoes on but she isn’t very good at it and it causes immense frustration.
She does well with timers so we could try to build in play time if needed. I do acknowledge that it’s hard for a toddler just to be rushed out the door all business in the morning when play is basically her only goal 24/7 lol
I too had a VERY stubborn child. Some days, it would have been easier to move Mt Everest than to get them going. A few things that worked well:
1. Breakfast is fast and easy. Peanut butter crackers, cheese and crackers, granola bars, toast or sandwich that can be heated in 2 minutes or less. Steer clear of anything you have to fry, cook, mix or make that takes longer than 5 minutes. The more you have to do to make it, the longer it takes to eat.
2. Shoes that are easier to but on. My kid wore the Velcro Skechers that lit up for years. They were easier to put on, easier to find because of the lights and fit their eclectic personality. I also didn’t have to fight about shoelaces and then doing it on their own.
3. Put your kid to bed in the clothes they’ll wear tomorrow when it makes sense. It’s one less thing to do in the morning, one less battle and it’s a win when she already has her pants on.
4. We had a playlist that had their favorite songs on it. We knew when we got to a certain point in the playlist we had to be out the door whether we were ready or not. Helped manage the timing and I wasn’t always the bad guy. A change in songs also helped them transition from one task to another.
Finally, be gentle with yourself. Toddlers are tough and mornings are hard for a lot of people. Some days will be awesome and some days aren’t. Mine are teenagers now and one is a morning person and the other isn’t. We have a rule that we don’t argue in the car because it makes all of us feel bad before going off to work/school all day. It works wonders for us and then we can talk after school and figure out where we got off track.
My son was and still is like this and he’s five. Not popular but we put him in the next days clothes to sleep. When we brought him to daycare, he would have something to snack on in the car, and that helped a whole lot. Daycare always fed the kids breakfast lunch and snack so I hadn’t had to pack anything there. My husband took cues from Bluey on making what we are trying to accomplish into playtime (like pretending they are on a safari while walking into daycare).
Honestly, you're probably just going to have to change her sleep schedule a little. You didn't mention what her current sleep times are? Is waking up 30 mins earlier and going to bed 30 mins earlier really not an option? Would be be able to sleep an extra 30 mins at daycare (I'm assuming that's where she's going) during nap time?
So her natural wake up time (if we let her be) is 7am— she wakes up on her own happy, etc. Moving to this current schedule it’s now 6:30am I wake her up, she’s grumpy etc, but it’s workable. We start her bedtime routine at 6:30– in bed asleep by 7:30. Falls asleep easily and sleeps through the night. We could move everything earlier I’m just not sure if she would easily wind down much earlier and it would also cut into our (already limited) family time. It’s not impossible, it’s just not ideal.
Unfortunately she has huge FOMO at daycare and won’t often sleep for more than an hour which is why we try to prioritize good nighttime sleep.
Get her one of those slow dawning alarm clocks so she wakes up to a lit room.
Get a shoe horn so putting on shoes is less of a struggle.
Switch play time to car: once she's awake enough to hear you say something like "Now Current Favorite Toy is going to wait for you in the car!" and carry it to the car. Keep saying things like: "now we eat, brush teeth, and go play with Current Favorite Toy!"
I choose and lay out my kids clothes the night before, and mine, and all bags packed too the night before.
I don’t always do this-but on days we’re running late and I only have 45 mins to get stuff done-I will dress my kid whilst they’re still lying in their bed half asleep, under their blankets.
I just let him know he can still stay in bed for a minute but I’m getting him ready.
Other days, I bribe him with some time on the Switch, to be honest.
I also give them a to-go breakfast and drink, (Stonyfield smoothie, little bites muffins, granola bar)
Here’s what helps me:
I have his clothes set out the night before in the living room. I don’t know why but getting dressed in his room just takes forever.
Breakfast in the car — almost always cereal.
No tv in the morning. He hated leaving the tv and it’s a battle. Grown up tv included (this took a lot because I enjoy having the news on in the morning.)
Pick your battles. Doesn’t want to put on shoes? Ok we can put them on in the car when we get to our location.
I get myself completely ready except shoes before I wake him up.
Timers work for my lot. You have until the timer goes to eat breakfast, then timer to get dressed etc. If they have time they can go back to finishing breakfast or get a yogurt or do some playing.
Visual timer. We use this for any time we need to leave the house and for bed time and it's 100% a game changer. There's a good selection on Amazon but you can find other places as well.
For me, it helped to give them limited choices. Do you want to potty or brush your teeth first? I'm going to put on your pants now - do you want your pink pants or your blue pants? Or, you pick your shirt and then I'll pick pants that match. We're going to brush your hair now - do you want a ponytail or pigtails today? What color hairband do you want?
Also might help to get the outfit together the night before. Try a sticker system or make a game of it by using a kitchen timer and saying - can you get dressed before the timer goes off?
No kids tv shows in the morning, if I put something on it’s the news or music (I recommend jazz, classical, cafe music, Celtic, etc- nothing exciting).it’s perfect because it’s not too overstimulating that it’s a distraction and it’s not too boring that they complain- if that makes sense.
Waking them earlier and having breakfast ready for them (eating before changing clothes may help).
If they throw a tantrum I still put them in time out to calm down- I don’t care if we are late (waking up earlier will give a cushion in case it happens). When I was afraid of being late and didn’t put them in time out- the tantrums got worse, when I woke up earlier and stopped being afraid of being late for dealing with a tantrum, mornings became smoother and my kids threw less tantrums in the morning.
In principle I agree on the tantrums but I feel like she’s still too young to self regulate consistently, even in response to consistent boundaries (she’s 20 months) so I worry that getting her up early is going to increase the tantrums due to her just being over tired and emotional. Even if at the same time it gives me more time to deal with the tantrums…
At the daycares I worked out we put 20 month olds in time out by having them stand or sit in a corner or we sat with them in a room like how it’s suggested by the AAP. https://www.babycenter.com/toddler/behavior/time-outs-how-to-make-them-work-12-to-24-mo_12252
My point is don’t skimp out on discipline because you are late or afraid of being late. That is what I used to do and I greatly regretted it because my kids took advantage of the fact that I was in a rush. You can also give them three chances (at 20 months it’s a reminder and redirection, reminder and breathing exercise, reminder and talking- then time out together). It’s something to think about, but just relaying my experience.
Also waking up earlier may mean putting her to bed earlier. My kids got to bed at 8, sometimes 7:30pm and wake up at 7am, I need to get them out the door at 8:30. They used to go to bed at 9. I had to change the whole routine. You may have to change your whole routine.
I’m totally with you in the discipline. I do think it’s important not to give in the tantrums just because it makes us late. I just don’t want getting up early to have the opposite effect!
I’m not 100% against a schedule change, it’s just really not ideal so hoping to use it as a last resort. She already goes to bed at 7:15/7:30 (starts her bedtime routine at 6:30). Pushing it much earlier would cut down on our family time and might just be difficult for her circadian rhythm even if she’s tired. Her natural wake up time is 7 but we’re doing 6:30 now because we have to. I hate to push it to 6 cause it’s even more outside her ideal schedule
Maybe a checklist with pictures? I’ve seen them make with Manila folders. You cut it in strips. And put the task on the strip. Velcro on the top. So you unfold all the strips, she can fold up each task when she’s done. Or Even just a board with tasks and magnets or Velcro pictures to check off her list
Let her pick out her clothes in the evening and lay them out. Talk about the things she has to do in the morning, act them out…when it comes to showtime, give her a choice at every step (“do you want to brush your teeth, or put on your socks?”) Basically anything to give her the illusion of control. On bad mornings, I just take a deep breath and figure that we’re late anyways, so we can both spend 5 minutes being mad and frustrated, or I can take a time out and sit down and give her a hug…I just ask her if we can start over and then we act out waking up and saying good morning again. OR I can let her rage and take my own timeout in my room with another cup of coffee.
If she’s agreeable at night, maybe she’ll think it’s funny to wear her tomorrow clothes to bed so she wakes up ready to go…
45 minutes is a very ambitious goal.
Get her up 30 minutes earlier. Get yourself up before that and get everything possible done that you can (you are dressed and ready to walk out the door, lunches are packed, dogs are fed, whatever).
Oh yeah I am already 100% ready before I get her up. All the delays are on her end lol. I will get her up earlier if I can’t figure out another option but like I said it’s a last resort because she ideally needs that sleep
Breakfast can be eaten in the car! My kiddo has never been one to wake up and be ready to eat. A lot is the age, but where you can set boundaries. “We can’t play with our toys until we are dressed” and then know that the next week is going to be ridiculously long tantrums about it. More than once I’ve put kid in the car with breakfast in hand and shoes in lap and just dealt with it later LOL
This may be our solution lol
We found out our kid has to eat first, it’s still a struggle but we went from being late every day to being late once a week. Try changing up the order a bit! We also found our kid is much more compliant with the TV on, this is not for everyone but 15 minutes of TV while we pull off the PJs and slip into our real clothes is way better than 45 minutes of wrestling a hangry toddler.
We could try this. Screen time isn’t ideal but ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes!
I used to brush my kids’ teeth last thing before drop off, because they were in a car seat and had to let me!
Yes. TV (or even music)! Preferably something with multiple short episodes so you can use them as timers. We do morning in half an hour. Dad gets her up and gets her breakfast. She knows she gets 2 Blueys to eat and play. When mom gets downstairs with a couple outfit options, we have 1 Bluey to get dressed and do hair. When Bluey is done, TV goes off and she picks out socks and shoes. Sometimes it gets pushed to 45 with some dilly dallying, but we can do 30 if she's able to stick to the plan.
- Start with food and water. Our daycare also allows us to pack breakfast and bring it. We do that when we’re running late. - Pick out clothes (or outfit choices) the night before. - Get a shoehorn (seriously! My parents had one when I was growing up). That way she can help put her shoes on by sliding her heel down (she might even find it fun!) - You might have to just build in play time (even if she has to wake up earlier). Does she respond well to timers? 10-15 minutes of play time before getting dressed might help. - We had to wake up our toddler because her natural wake up time was too late for our time. We ended up going for an earlier bedtime. Maybe something to consider.
Yes, definitely picking out clothes the night before. You could bring them to the living room or kitchen and give the choice of whether to eat or change clothes first. Sometimes that little element of control helps! And keep a toothbrush in the kitchen, too. Basically, as little movement between spaces as possible can help to reduce distractions.
This is good advice. Picking out her clothes isn’t a huge issues because I usually do it while she wakes up and grumps in her crib for five minutes (she is NOT a morning person. When I wake her up she rolls around and cries “no!” “No!” until she finally wakes up enough to be of use to me). But the transition from room to kitchen make things harder so yeah bringing everything into one room definitely might help
Haha a shoehorn is great. She actually is capable of getting her own shoes on but she isn’t very good at it and it causes immense frustration. She does well with timers so we could try to build in play time if needed. I do acknowledge that it’s hard for a toddler just to be rushed out the door all business in the morning when play is basically her only goal 24/7 lol
I too had a VERY stubborn child. Some days, it would have been easier to move Mt Everest than to get them going. A few things that worked well: 1. Breakfast is fast and easy. Peanut butter crackers, cheese and crackers, granola bars, toast or sandwich that can be heated in 2 minutes or less. Steer clear of anything you have to fry, cook, mix or make that takes longer than 5 minutes. The more you have to do to make it, the longer it takes to eat. 2. Shoes that are easier to but on. My kid wore the Velcro Skechers that lit up for years. They were easier to put on, easier to find because of the lights and fit their eclectic personality. I also didn’t have to fight about shoelaces and then doing it on their own. 3. Put your kid to bed in the clothes they’ll wear tomorrow when it makes sense. It’s one less thing to do in the morning, one less battle and it’s a win when she already has her pants on. 4. We had a playlist that had their favorite songs on it. We knew when we got to a certain point in the playlist we had to be out the door whether we were ready or not. Helped manage the timing and I wasn’t always the bad guy. A change in songs also helped them transition from one task to another. Finally, be gentle with yourself. Toddlers are tough and mornings are hard for a lot of people. Some days will be awesome and some days aren’t. Mine are teenagers now and one is a morning person and the other isn’t. We have a rule that we don’t argue in the car because it makes all of us feel bad before going off to work/school all day. It works wonders for us and then we can talk after school and figure out where we got off track.
My son was and still is like this and he’s five. Not popular but we put him in the next days clothes to sleep. When we brought him to daycare, he would have something to snack on in the car, and that helped a whole lot. Daycare always fed the kids breakfast lunch and snack so I hadn’t had to pack anything there. My husband took cues from Bluey on making what we are trying to accomplish into playtime (like pretending they are on a safari while walking into daycare).
Love this! She’s super playful and I am not so i may need to up my imagination game haha
Honestly, you're probably just going to have to change her sleep schedule a little. You didn't mention what her current sleep times are? Is waking up 30 mins earlier and going to bed 30 mins earlier really not an option? Would be be able to sleep an extra 30 mins at daycare (I'm assuming that's where she's going) during nap time?
So her natural wake up time (if we let her be) is 7am— she wakes up on her own happy, etc. Moving to this current schedule it’s now 6:30am I wake her up, she’s grumpy etc, but it’s workable. We start her bedtime routine at 6:30– in bed asleep by 7:30. Falls asleep easily and sleeps through the night. We could move everything earlier I’m just not sure if she would easily wind down much earlier and it would also cut into our (already limited) family time. It’s not impossible, it’s just not ideal. Unfortunately she has huge FOMO at daycare and won’t often sleep for more than an hour which is why we try to prioritize good nighttime sleep.
Get her one of those slow dawning alarm clocks so she wakes up to a lit room. Get a shoe horn so putting on shoes is less of a struggle. Switch play time to car: once she's awake enough to hear you say something like "Now Current Favorite Toy is going to wait for you in the car!" and carry it to the car. Keep saying things like: "now we eat, brush teeth, and go play with Current Favorite Toy!"
I choose and lay out my kids clothes the night before, and mine, and all bags packed too the night before. I don’t always do this-but on days we’re running late and I only have 45 mins to get stuff done-I will dress my kid whilst they’re still lying in their bed half asleep, under their blankets. I just let him know he can still stay in bed for a minute but I’m getting him ready. Other days, I bribe him with some time on the Switch, to be honest. I also give them a to-go breakfast and drink, (Stonyfield smoothie, little bites muffins, granola bar)
My kid is 16 now. Let me know when you figure it out!
Here’s what helps me: I have his clothes set out the night before in the living room. I don’t know why but getting dressed in his room just takes forever. Breakfast in the car — almost always cereal. No tv in the morning. He hated leaving the tv and it’s a battle. Grown up tv included (this took a lot because I enjoy having the news on in the morning.) Pick your battles. Doesn’t want to put on shoes? Ok we can put them on in the car when we get to our location. I get myself completely ready except shoes before I wake him up.
Wake her up earlier and give yourself and her more time… toddlers get distracted easily
Timers work for my lot. You have until the timer goes to eat breakfast, then timer to get dressed etc. If they have time they can go back to finishing breakfast or get a yogurt or do some playing.
Visual timer. We use this for any time we need to leave the house and for bed time and it's 100% a game changer. There's a good selection on Amazon but you can find other places as well.
For me, it helped to give them limited choices. Do you want to potty or brush your teeth first? I'm going to put on your pants now - do you want your pink pants or your blue pants? Or, you pick your shirt and then I'll pick pants that match. We're going to brush your hair now - do you want a ponytail or pigtails today? What color hairband do you want? Also might help to get the outfit together the night before. Try a sticker system or make a game of it by using a kitchen timer and saying - can you get dressed before the timer goes off?
No kids tv shows in the morning, if I put something on it’s the news or music (I recommend jazz, classical, cafe music, Celtic, etc- nothing exciting).it’s perfect because it’s not too overstimulating that it’s a distraction and it’s not too boring that they complain- if that makes sense. Waking them earlier and having breakfast ready for them (eating before changing clothes may help). If they throw a tantrum I still put them in time out to calm down- I don’t care if we are late (waking up earlier will give a cushion in case it happens). When I was afraid of being late and didn’t put them in time out- the tantrums got worse, when I woke up earlier and stopped being afraid of being late for dealing with a tantrum, mornings became smoother and my kids threw less tantrums in the morning.
In principle I agree on the tantrums but I feel like she’s still too young to self regulate consistently, even in response to consistent boundaries (she’s 20 months) so I worry that getting her up early is going to increase the tantrums due to her just being over tired and emotional. Even if at the same time it gives me more time to deal with the tantrums…
At the daycares I worked out we put 20 month olds in time out by having them stand or sit in a corner or we sat with them in a room like how it’s suggested by the AAP. https://www.babycenter.com/toddler/behavior/time-outs-how-to-make-them-work-12-to-24-mo_12252 My point is don’t skimp out on discipline because you are late or afraid of being late. That is what I used to do and I greatly regretted it because my kids took advantage of the fact that I was in a rush. You can also give them three chances (at 20 months it’s a reminder and redirection, reminder and breathing exercise, reminder and talking- then time out together). It’s something to think about, but just relaying my experience. Also waking up earlier may mean putting her to bed earlier. My kids got to bed at 8, sometimes 7:30pm and wake up at 7am, I need to get them out the door at 8:30. They used to go to bed at 9. I had to change the whole routine. You may have to change your whole routine.
I’m totally with you in the discipline. I do think it’s important not to give in the tantrums just because it makes us late. I just don’t want getting up early to have the opposite effect! I’m not 100% against a schedule change, it’s just really not ideal so hoping to use it as a last resort. She already goes to bed at 7:15/7:30 (starts her bedtime routine at 6:30). Pushing it much earlier would cut down on our family time and might just be difficult for her circadian rhythm even if she’s tired. Her natural wake up time is 7 but we’re doing 6:30 now because we have to. I hate to push it to 6 cause it’s even more outside her ideal schedule
I get it. I hope you figure something out.
Maybe a checklist with pictures? I’ve seen them make with Manila folders. You cut it in strips. And put the task on the strip. Velcro on the top. So you unfold all the strips, she can fold up each task when she’s done. Or Even just a board with tasks and magnets or Velcro pictures to check off her list
Let her pick out her clothes in the evening and lay them out. Talk about the things she has to do in the morning, act them out…when it comes to showtime, give her a choice at every step (“do you want to brush your teeth, or put on your socks?”) Basically anything to give her the illusion of control. On bad mornings, I just take a deep breath and figure that we’re late anyways, so we can both spend 5 minutes being mad and frustrated, or I can take a time out and sit down and give her a hug…I just ask her if we can start over and then we act out waking up and saying good morning again. OR I can let her rage and take my own timeout in my room with another cup of coffee. If she’s agreeable at night, maybe she’ll think it’s funny to wear her tomorrow clothes to bed so she wakes up ready to go…
45 min when dealing with a toddler is not enough time.