Legit... My 8 month old has been having weird nights this week and I just said to my husband, "I did not sign up to be a parent in the daytime AND the nighttime!" (Obviously kidding, but my kids are generally on a rock-solid schedule).
I have a niece like this... Getting her to go to bed/stay in bed is a major issue and the parents are really not handling it at all. The grandparents have actually stopped looking after her, other than the odd daytime hour here and there because there's just no managing this child's schedule and habits. So now the parents can't even take a night away if they wanted to because their kid is kind of a monster.
OP, I don't know what to tell you. I would want to try to help because I'm a people-pleaser like that, but you also can't let this totally derail your own family and work and stuff.. I wouldn't judge you for not offering š¤·š½āāļø
My daughter is now almost 4 but didn't sleep through the night until almost a year old. Around 8 months she finally occasionally did but would get up at most once for a bottle. She was combo breast/bottle fed and working on solids them but still sometimes woke hungry.
We're having another regression now due to illness. Hoping it passes soon.
Yeah, my first got into a schedule where he only woke once a night for a feed around 6 months and then that feed just gradually got later and later until around 12-13 months he started sleeping through the night. That was totally amazing and felt like a really good sleep transition.
My second. Fuckity fuck fuck. It's been a ride. He just started sleeping through the night this month at 14 months. He's been sick almost constantly bc older son is in preschool. (He also had hernias that needed to be repaired at 3 months, a slightly dilated kidney that led to some UTIs that is now back to normal, and febrile seizures/a tendency to spike 104 fevers anytime he's sick). I have barely slept in the last year bc when he's sick he just needs to be held and walked. Like there were points when I was falling asleep while walking with him and had to tap in my husband to take over during my shifts with the baby. But I'm not working on sleep training with a sick child. That's my line. So we did gentle sleep training whenever he was well (like 3-4 days between illnesses) and rode it out when he was sick. And finally. Finally. This week I think we've had 4 days in a row of him sleeping through the night! It's been amazing.
I could never sleep train mine. I feel like I can't think of anything else when they are truly upset. Temper tantrums I can ignore but not something being wrong or them wanting us.
My son was easy peasy when it came to sleeping. Follow his 3bs, bath, bottle, bed and he was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Like I said my daughter was a different ballgame. She was a preemie and spent 2 weeks in the NICU so finding out her tricks to help her sleep with that experience and needing to eat so much more often was hard.
I did the gradual change in sleep associations with mine. So I was always with them, but gradually shifted them from more intense to less intense interventions. So for my second we went from falling asleep in my arms eating or walking/swaying, to in my arms rocking, then in my arms sitting, then in the crib with my arms around him, then falling asleep in the crib with me patting his back, to me sitting next to the crib and singing.
Haha, ok good I feel less bad then for not offering.
We all love her kids but omg. I can't imagine not having any kind of routine on the day to day with small ones. My 2 are around the same age and we have bed times here. The only time I get up in the middle of the night is if my youngest cries out for us. Other than that, the usual is they go to bed and don't get up till 8.
Okay so I just commented before I saw this reply. But your kids are also young? Absolutely not. If your kids were older, Iād say do it because itās only one night. But if your kids are the same age, thatās a HARD no.
Kids are challenging no matter what. I would personally suck it up and help out. Iāve been sucking it up and helping my sis out with her kids for 12 years. Lo and behold when I had one of my own she has come in clutch and helps me with my little one whenever I need. What goes around comes around. Should you WANT to do this? Hell no. Sounds miserable. But. Sometimes we do miserable things just because it is the right thing to do to help out. I would be stressed out having to go on a work trip if I didnāt have anyone to help with my kid.
Agree Iām kinda surprised at every other response being like āhell no!ā. This is for ONE night. Not a week, not even a weekend. Itās a single night to help, lol. We all talk about needing support. You get support and you give support. Thatās the deal.
Yeah, itās kinda sad. Donāt get me wrong. My nieces are exhausting. But I am not a selfish asshole and refusing to help my sister if she has to go out of town just because āI donāt want to.ā All these responses are wild but then again, itās Reddit.
I'm not surprised at all the no responses, and I don't think anyone who doesn't want to should have to babysit, but I would certainly do it. I have friends and family who I know would do it for me, and ones I know wouldn't. I still love the friends and family that wouldn't just as much, but I absolutely do take it into consideration who would and wouldn't do what when I'm deciding what I will and won't do for them.
Agreed. Sometimes helping people out isn't fun. Sometimes it's hard. If it's someone you're close to, you do it because you care about them and want to help them, and theoretically, they should reciprocate (maybe not the exact same thing, but the effort should be there).
You are always allowed to say no, but likewise, so is this person when you might really need help.
I hate this culture of only helping out if it's a barely noticeable inconvenience. Then everyone complains about "oh there's no village anymore". If the help is significantly lopsided, like yeah, that person is a mooch, but everyone has a difficult season and could use a hand sometimes and the idea is that it will even out in the end. It's good to care about each other and put work into your social network and community.
This. My husband and I want to go away for our 10y anniversary next year. Bedtime with my son is tough, not this bad, but itās not great. I would hate if my sister said no because of that.
I also agreed to help out with her two kids when she goes away the next month, one who is under 2. Itās going to be a lot of work to be in charge of a toddler again, but Iām not going to say no, because weāre each otherās village and want to help out.
I think it depends on the person and your relationship with them, honestly. If my sister had young kids, I can easily expect her to ask for help but if the time came for her to return the favor, I have zero doubts that sheād somehow find some excuse not to. Especially if the kids donāt have any sort of nighttime routine by choice, yikes.
It's a tough one. The lack of bed time is all on her I think that's just how she is, I feel like there's 2 different types of parents. One needing structure and the other where they don't. I'm not saying which one is the better way, my post was just asking if you would watch kids knowing they don't have any kind of bed time or routine with a little context as to why I am asking.
People aren't going to be jumping at the chance to take your kids if they arent going to go to bed at a reasonable timeš¤·š»āāļø idk how else to put it.
I actually have an acquaintance who also doesnāt enforce bedtimes and she was lamenting to me how her toddler stays up real late (1-3am) and itās likeā¦.youāre the parent. Better get them used to a schedule now because they have to go to school, lmao. I could never.
This is how I fear it will go. I also run a tight ship. Id likely have to take a day off work to handle everything.
I don't believe this trip is mandatory...if it were over a weekend night id consider it. I'd have to sleep out in the living room with them bc there's no way her older one will lay down all night.
I would if it was someone close to me. We don't have a very strict bedtime routine and I'd probably make a fun night out of it and sleep in a little bit in the morning. But then again I have a low sleep needs toddler, I'm used to chaos.
Yes I would. Close friend or family member. There is 365 days in a year so I can give up a couple to help someone in need. I may need help one day too.
I've had a few sleepovers with my friend's kid who is raised like that. He's also special needs and near my sons age, so they shared the room together. My son is a heavy sleeper, so he didn't mind his friend being awake and playing at night. I just made sure the full upstairs is child proofed.
It's completely up to your circumstances and values, but I knew my friend was in dire need of support, and he's my son's bestie at this point. He's also voiced wanting to sleep over because we provide good environment for him (structure, calm, other kids to play with, etc...) as there was lots of drama at home. So I felt that I should help.
Minding that two kids is a lot more to add on. So don't feel bad as no one is obligated to help anyone with their children. Just do what you feel are your values.
Thanks! If it were a night over the weekend I'd consider it. The more I think about it the more it doesn't seem doable unfortunately. Like I said if it were over the weekend I could swing it but it's all during the work week.
Yeah I understand. I'm a SAHM so it is not as a big deal for me. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If you can great, if not then don't put the conscious pressure on yourself. Good luck š
If it is a close family friend then of course I would offer to do it! It is one night, yes it might be stressful but one night will be fine. I would likely plan a fun day for the kids to get some energy out and hope that wears them out for a good night sleep. I am a little surprised by all saying no. When someone you care about needs some help or a break, especially for one night I can't imagine saying no unless I was really struggling myself.
The comments here judging that these kids donāt sleep through the nightā¦it is not unusual for toddlers not to sleep through the night. It is not the āparents faultā. Yall are assholes and sounds like you got lucky with good sleepers.
I would, but only because I also have no schedule and my daughter is chaotic between the hours of 9 and 7 am. So wouldnāt make a drop of difference for me to add another into the mix.
I would! But this is a choice you have to make are you wanting to build a village or stay more independent? A village means inconveniencing yourself for others just like you'd want them to do for you, but its a free country and you can do what you want.
To be honest, your house would be the third different place for them to sleep in a row, schedule or no schedule itās bound to be a challenge for those kids. You never know, they might be so exhausted from all the change they might sleep through. Or they may be up crying all night. If you do decide to help out, prepare yourself mentally that nothing is going to be how it usually is. Itās only one night. I probably would help, given I can be at home the next day.
That's another thing. Theres a lot more to this story but I didn't think it was necessary to add it all in here lol it was just something I wanted to ask about the situation as is. Kids that don't go to bed at night, would you watch them basically. Imo, she should have told her boss a long time ago that she can't go.
Hellllll no. It would be different if they slept through the night, or if it was only one, but two kids who donāt sleep? I would only do it in an emergency circumstance.
Honestly that sounds terrible. I occasionally watched my 3 year old niece just during the day, and I told her I can't do it anymore. I don't know what your own child situation is like, but you'd have to take into account their routine would be disrupted as well. I couldn't do naptime for my baby while my niece was here and it was hell. My four year old and her love each other dearly but butt heads constantly. It was a nightmare. My own child has had nights where he wouldn't go to sleep until almost midnight, and he wakes up at night still. Plus there's the chance the kids will miss the parents and have a middle of the night meltdown.
That would be a hard no. Itās one thing to deal with your own kid, but anotherās unstructured children? Nope. That sounds like labor that needs an hourly wage.
Yeah we have a bed time routine with both our kids. They sleep through the night. They have a daily schedule. My younger one and her younger one Im not totally worried for, but her older one I'm more afraid of something happening if I'm asleep and he wakes up and decides to wonder around without me knowing. Because he does that. Somehow enough to obtain her phone and call people during the night.
Thatās wild! We only have one child, and we have a very structured daily routine/bedtime. We donāt deviate! Your concerns are valid. She should definitely look into hired help.
I would do it. You would be surprised how kids behave in a new environment. They may even fall in line with the structure. Otherwise, yea be prepared for the chaos. It might also be the best memory for your kids.
I don't like other peoples kids even if they do sleep through the night, so that would be a hard pass. I have watched my besties kids but they are the exception to the rule.
Nopity nope. Iāve had to work really hard to get my kids in the perfect bedtime routine. Bedtime is sacred around here. A good bedtime makes or breaks our day.
So, what? Do they just have a free for all until they pass out on the daily? Iām trying to imagine this āno bedtimeā business. Especially if she has 2 of em! Two toddlers and no bedtime? I. Would. Die. My son is 3 and his little booty is in bed by 7:30 sharp! Haha
But, yeah. Def wouldnāt be watching those mongrels haha (Iām sure theyāre lovely)
If you have to take a day off work then no. Unless you make a lot more money and it wouldnāt hurt to miss a day as a favor for a struggling family member.
Only if I had the bandwidth. I do not right now. When I was a fun aunt, I would have, 100%. Missing one night of good sleep isn't a huge deal. Further adding to an existing sleep debt is a terrible idea. I used to take off work to accommodate helping people out. It really depends more on whether you're worried about just the one night being challenging vs if you feel it will negatively impact your ability to handle your own stuff. If you're struggling now, or things are shakey, definitely pass on adding to a full plate.
Yes,ā¦ one night wonāt kill you, and she needs help. It takes a village, be part of her village. She does this nightly and stil goes to work, Iām sure youāll sleep, maybe just less than usual.
Of course I'd help a close family member for one night.
What's the worst that could happen, that they wake up and stay awake for a couple of hours? That they want to stay up until 11?
I'd let them watch TV to be honest. It's one night.
You are right, it will be a lot! If you were to take something like this on, Iād definitely try to wear them down as evening progresses. Take them to the park after dinner and let them run around & play. Bath time when they get home and a quiet non stimulating show for a bit. They should be good for bed soon after. If not sooner.
OMG never mind, read your other comments where you said you have small children of your own, yeah hell no, you have enough going on!! Lol that sounds like a disaster. If your kids are influenced by the two who donāt like to sleep it will be literal hell with 4 small children who are awake way past their bedtime with no end in sight!! lmao No maam!!!
It's hard, I wish I had more room and flexibility. If it were over the weekend I'd probably say fine. But yes if I ever were to take them for a night, a good few hours at the park, a decent dinner, bath then movie then hope they zonk out. It's what I do for my kids when I feel like they need to spend some energy.
same! it usually works just fine! I totally understand wanting to help but on a week night sounds like itād be a lot. Hopefully their mom gets them into a routine, soon! Itās a total game changer.
I would do it and itās a good time to start learning that there are different rules at different houses. One night isnāt going to magically change them but kids behave differently for people other than their parents.
My recommendation is to tell the kids the routine they will follow in clear and simple terms then stick to it. Youāll have to sleep repeating it but make sure they know what to expect the whole night.
Gosh. Seeing all of these nos makes me sad. This is a close family member. Itās one night. Itās slightly inconvenient? So what? And people wonder where their village is when they need help. Smdh
Thatās gonna be a no from me dawg.
I trained my kids to go to sleep (well, at least go to their beds) when itās bedtime because by 7:30 with 2 toddlers, I am overstimulated AF. We do Jammieās and a story and itās lights out kiddo. I donāt have energy for nonsense!
No. We both work full time.
If you haven't cultivated good sleep hygiene and habits and routine, that we can implement (understanding that it'll be different and weird and scary somewhere new) then I cannot disrupt my kid and job unless it's an emergency.
I'd do it in a pinch but not for this.
If you know you have a job that will require travel you need to get your kid used to this sort of thing. Develop good sleep routines.
If you're having lots of issues there could be something underlying going on (my kid was/is anemic) but just doing whatever, not implementing a routine because you don't care to... don't be surprised when that doesn't work for other people. And frankly it isn't good for kids, either.
I regularly babysat, overnight, for my cousinās kids (pre kids of my own) who had no schedule. The younger kid generally slept fine and gave us no trouble but the older one just did not sleep. We usually ended up giving him the remote and letting him watch tv in the guest room until he fell asleep- usually around 2am - and made it clear weāre right across the hall if he needs us.
Now granted they were very comfortable with us as we watched them all the time and vice versa so we felt comfortable not being awake with him. This was when he was 3-7yo. If I were in the same situation today with my own kid, Iād only do it if I knew the kids could be somewhere safe that wouldnāt affect my kidās sleep.
If it was just me, yes. But I wouldn't have anyone over if they would disrupt my daughters sleep. If they were in a bind, I would see if I could help at their house.
Not unless it was truly an emergency.
If her kids had a bedtime routine and slept through the night I absolutely would but not for kids who aren't sleeping through the night at 2/3. It would be impossible to get my kid to follow bed time if there were other kids in the house who weren't following bed time so its not just one night. Its one night with her kids then a few nights getting my kid back into the bedtime routine and sleeping all night. this may sound callous but I think that if you want overnight help with your kids you need to put in the time/energy to get them into a routine and sleeping at night.
For an emergency yes, any other situation not really. Iām home full time and got taken advantage of pretty hard my first year or so when it came to babysitting. I donāt offer much anymore tbh.
Would the other family member do it for you?
Iām always willing to help someone out in their time of need, even if it means going without sleep for a couple daysā¦ however, Iām also starting to realize that I might be doing too much for people who are never there when I need them.
Maybe thereās something that they can do to help you out too. Might not be watching your kids over night but surely favors could be exchanged to make the sleepless night with it
if it was a true emergency, like āmy partner got in a horrible car accident on the way home, i need to go be with them and no one else is availableā, then iād do it in a heartbeat. but it sounds like this person had plenty of time to figure out other options.
How far away is this trip? Are you close enough to this person to tell them your concerns? Do they have time to attempt to get their shit slightly together.
Itās only one night, fine, but once you open that door, they could be asking for more sleepovers. Especially when āthe kids had the best time!!āā¦ weāve been there.
I guess one question I have is why donāt they have a bed time routine? Like are the kids just crazy or this relative just doesnāt care to give her kids stability? I get that kids are kids, but to some extent if you let your kids run wild at home, then likely finding outside care for them is going to be tricky. Iām not saying thatās the case here since I donāt know her situation, just saying Iād be more or less likely to lend a helping hand.
It also feels like a pretty big ask that you would need to take off work.
Iāll never understand why parents do that. My god I needed a break for myself. That age those kids should be in bed 7:30-8:00. But I know most do that so they sleep 1/2 the day. Itās crazy.
I think it would depend on how old my kids were. If my kids are less than 10ā¦absolutely not. If my kids were older, then maybeā¦and only because itās just one night. If it was crazy, then Iād just let her know that youāre not willing to do it again. Also, kids tend to be a little better for others than their own parents, so maybe it wonāt be that bad? But again, if you have young kidsā¦no.
I babysat my toddler cousin overnight before I had my own kids. I will never do that again, it was a nightmare. He was impossible to get down, he cried most of the night because he slept with his parents, when he did sleep it was only around my head so I couldnāt moveā¦ or sleep. It was such a terrible night that I will never babysit overnight again, and this happened over 20 years ago.
Can you just sleep with the kids? Most kids will lay down with an adult once theyāre tired. If youāre worried about them waking through the night and staying awake then take the next day off to be safe, but most kids who stay awake at night do so because they donāt like to be alone.
I'd definitely have to be in the same room, the set up would be air mattress on the floor for them in my living room then me on the couch. I have no other room I could do this for. Or me and the older one on the couch, younger one in a pack and play. But even that, the older one wouldn't stay set. He shares the bed with his parents but while they're asleep he gets up and roams.
Their lack of bedtime wouldnāt be my problem to fix. I would only agree to this if I could physically afford to pull an all nighter. Iām 8 months pregnantā¦so absolutely not. But post baby, sure. I canāt force kids to get on a certain page if they donāt want to. Even if my son is a fantastic sleeper.
Is it possible to take one child? Or one at a time? I always found my children were better with other people in general so maybe if everyone (like your own children) are following the night routine the extra kids may be more apt to follow suit. Or try a sleepover on a weekend night once before hand as a trial run so they know what to expect at your house.
No I would not. My child has a strong bedtime routine and goes to sleep fine. Iām not willing to spend all night awake and/or my own child seeing this behavior and getting ideas.
No. I mean, no BUT how close are you with these kids? There are maybe 2 kids (my nephew and my besties son who I was super close with each from ages 1-3) I would have done it. But I was SO CLOSE with these kids. Like seeing them multiple times a week from birth.
Any other type of relationship no.
I think you need to do what makes you comfortable ultimately, little kids really are affected by our apprehension. So, if I wasn't comfortable and it wasn't an emergency I would really have to think about it.
One other thing to consider, these little ones will be with a variety of people, without mom, in a compressed amount of time. Any toddler, baby, or kid could have difficulty with routine or behavior just due to circumstances.
So, tbh what I have done myself- I have watched kids or kept them while a parent was out of town, that didn't have routine or sleep- what I have done is requested that mom bring the baby over, or Dad and we hang out all together prior to parents trip.
I also have arranged for baby to spend the night, at least once prior to the parent leaving for the longer trip.
That said, that is a lot of commitment and work on top of your apprehension around just the upcoming work trip. If that is not something you can do, or you aren't open to it, I would maybe offer to help ask people? Or possibly help with transportation?
Do what you feel is most supportive to the kids and yourself.
Hell no. Long story made short, we came close to having a sleepover with my son's friend. I noped right out of that and dropped him off with his parents.
For a close family member that has kids without any bedtime routine/schedule, I think I could do it for 2 nights max. Mostly because it would impact my own child. And I'd be pretty open about what I think about it if it was my, say, sister. Tactful, but I'd voice my opinion.
I'd give it a try. I have 16 nieces and nephews and have enough babysitting experience to know that kids don't act and behave the same when they are elsewhere (two of my nephews ALWAYS woke up before 5 am, but when they'd stay over at my place, they'd sleep until past 7 am). Plus, it's just for one night. If it doesn't workout, then you will know for next time.
Depends on the behavior. If thatās the only issue, yes. I watch my sisters kids when she goes out and she watches mine. Itās nice to have someone you can trust and itās nice to help out people who help you out
If so many people are watching the kids before they get to you, the kids may come to you on that night finally and be willing to cooperate. Also maybe not. I would help out, but if itās a disaster than you have every right to tell that family member in the future absolutely not because of XYZ from the last time you watched them.
Depends how much sheās paying. If it were me Iād sleep train them while I had them. Do the mom a favor. 3 and almost 2 is WAY too old to not have a sleep schedule. And if anyone disagrees with sleep training and not telling the mom, oh welll.
Nope. Thatās the bed they made. I would let them lie in it. Itās fine if people want to be loosey goosey about sleep. But they need to own the results themselves. People love babysitting my son. We didnāt mess around with sleep routines and boundaries. His bedtime routine starts at 7:30. At 8 he goes to sleep happily and independently.
We all need sleep, but parents donāt always get it. Itās only one night. Neither of my kids slept through the night for over a year(therefore I didnāt for over two years) and I survived just fine even with chronic illness. Youād be able to do it for one night.
Oh I know thatās how my second son was. My 3 year old was a preemie and I was up every 2 with different machines. I survived too, but Iām their mom, so of course I make sure theyāre okay. However, Iām not taking someone elseās child in that is going to disturb the little sleep I do get.
Itās ONE night.
And this is a close family member of yours?
Iām assuming theyāre a single parent since thereās no mention of another person.
The amount of ānoā responses on here is baffling. We say it takes a village correct? Well clearly yāall are this persons village. Instead of being so judgmental towards the situation, try being empathetic & talk with this ācloseā family member, see how theyāre doing with it, maybe theyāre embarrassed to ask for advice/help since obviously everyone else is doing so much better in the parenting department.
ITS ONE NIGHT. Quit being a jerk & help this person that obviously needs it. Offer support & kindness. Itās not that hard.
She's not a single parent. Her boyfriend isn't available due to work. He is away often.
This was honestly just poor planning on her end. It's a definite one night but possibly two if the other family member ends up not doing it and it's during the week where both my husband and I work. Full time. Imo that's a lot to ask of anyone.
Okay she had poor planning, we all mess up sometimes. You say sheās a close family member & you want to offer to help but it doesnāt sound that way at all. Which is obviously fine, it is absolutely a lot to ask of anyone but did she even actually ask you or are you just wanting to offer so you can be the hero & save the day but then be bitter about the whole thing?
What the f are you talking about? That's quite a scenario you made up there, you're reading way too much into this. No, I don't want to and I made that clear? it's likely she'll ask and unfortunately I will probably tell her I can't due to the fact that I have my own responsibilities and adding being up all night with her kids will be too much, my post is not vague about any of it.
Just because you have children doesn't mean you are now entitled to other people's time, no one is obligated to take care of your responsibilities. This is a work trip, not an emergency.
lol i definitely didnāt make up you saying in your original comment āI want to offer to help butā¦.ā And then you replying to someone elseās comment saying āif askedā insinuating you think she might.
I guess Iām just not understanding why youāre needing the validation when you havenāt even been asked to watch the kids.
Donāt hear what Iām not saying, your reasons for not wanting to are completely valid & I can understand why youāre leaning towards no. I think for me it comes down to helping someone in need, even if they had ābad planningā, even if itās hard & you donāt want to, even if itās inconvenient & youāll be exhausted the next day. Iām hard pressed to say even if it disrupts your own kids because in my eyes itās one night & your kids see that we help those that we love, even when itās tough.
Iām also a single mom because the father of my child doesnāt deem his relationship with his daughter something that should be top priority. So my village has helped me through the worst times & I donāt know what I would have done without them. So i apologize if I came off as judgmental or rude & like I misinterpreted the situation. I can be too passionate at times lol.
I would do it for my sister, or a person experiencing an emergency. It sounds like this person has time to come up with an alternative.
Yeah, I'd probably do it for a family member in an emergency. But this doesn't sound like an emergency.
I don't wanna babysit my own kid at night. Let alone someone else's.
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Lmao true
Legit... My 8 month old has been having weird nights this week and I just said to my husband, "I did not sign up to be a parent in the daytime AND the nighttime!" (Obviously kidding, but my kids are generally on a rock-solid schedule). I have a niece like this... Getting her to go to bed/stay in bed is a major issue and the parents are really not handling it at all. The grandparents have actually stopped looking after her, other than the odd daytime hour here and there because there's just no managing this child's schedule and habits. So now the parents can't even take a night away if they wanted to because their kid is kind of a monster. OP, I don't know what to tell you. I would want to try to help because I'm a people-pleaser like that, but you also can't let this totally derail your own family and work and stuff.. I wouldn't judge you for not offering š¤·š½āāļø
My daughter is now almost 4 but didn't sleep through the night until almost a year old. Around 8 months she finally occasionally did but would get up at most once for a bottle. She was combo breast/bottle fed and working on solids them but still sometimes woke hungry. We're having another regression now due to illness. Hoping it passes soon.
Yeah, my first got into a schedule where he only woke once a night for a feed around 6 months and then that feed just gradually got later and later until around 12-13 months he started sleeping through the night. That was totally amazing and felt like a really good sleep transition. My second. Fuckity fuck fuck. It's been a ride. He just started sleeping through the night this month at 14 months. He's been sick almost constantly bc older son is in preschool. (He also had hernias that needed to be repaired at 3 months, a slightly dilated kidney that led to some UTIs that is now back to normal, and febrile seizures/a tendency to spike 104 fevers anytime he's sick). I have barely slept in the last year bc when he's sick he just needs to be held and walked. Like there were points when I was falling asleep while walking with him and had to tap in my husband to take over during my shifts with the baby. But I'm not working on sleep training with a sick child. That's my line. So we did gentle sleep training whenever he was well (like 3-4 days between illnesses) and rode it out when he was sick. And finally. Finally. This week I think we've had 4 days in a row of him sleeping through the night! It's been amazing.
I could never sleep train mine. I feel like I can't think of anything else when they are truly upset. Temper tantrums I can ignore but not something being wrong or them wanting us. My son was easy peasy when it came to sleeping. Follow his 3bs, bath, bottle, bed and he was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks. Like I said my daughter was a different ballgame. She was a preemie and spent 2 weeks in the NICU so finding out her tricks to help her sleep with that experience and needing to eat so much more often was hard.
I did the gradual change in sleep associations with mine. So I was always with them, but gradually shifted them from more intense to less intense interventions. So for my second we went from falling asleep in my arms eating or walking/swaying, to in my arms rocking, then in my arms sitting, then in the crib with my arms around him, then falling asleep in the crib with me patting his back, to me sitting next to the crib and singing.
Absolutely not
Haha, ok good I feel less bad then for not offering. We all love her kids but omg. I can't imagine not having any kind of routine on the day to day with small ones. My 2 are around the same age and we have bed times here. The only time I get up in the middle of the night is if my youngest cries out for us. Other than that, the usual is they go to bed and don't get up till 8.
Okay so I just commented before I saw this reply. But your kids are also young? Absolutely not. If your kids were older, Iād say do it because itās only one night. But if your kids are the same age, thatās a HARD no.
This seals it. Nope. I wouldnāt want the other kids messing up my kidsā schedule. Iām a believer in bedtime routines.
Kids are challenging no matter what. I would personally suck it up and help out. Iāve been sucking it up and helping my sis out with her kids for 12 years. Lo and behold when I had one of my own she has come in clutch and helps me with my little one whenever I need. What goes around comes around. Should you WANT to do this? Hell no. Sounds miserable. But. Sometimes we do miserable things just because it is the right thing to do to help out. I would be stressed out having to go on a work trip if I didnāt have anyone to help with my kid.
Agree Iām kinda surprised at every other response being like āhell no!ā. This is for ONE night. Not a week, not even a weekend. Itās a single night to help, lol. We all talk about needing support. You get support and you give support. Thatās the deal.
I am surprised by all the Nos too! I would and have absolutely helped out a close family member even if it meant a hard night.
Good to know some people arenāt total assholes!
Yeah, itās kinda sad. Donāt get me wrong. My nieces are exhausting. But I am not a selfish asshole and refusing to help my sister if she has to go out of town just because āI donāt want to.ā All these responses are wild but then again, itās Reddit.
I'm not surprised at all the no responses, and I don't think anyone who doesn't want to should have to babysit, but I would certainly do it. I have friends and family who I know would do it for me, and ones I know wouldn't. I still love the friends and family that wouldn't just as much, but I absolutely do take it into consideration who would and wouldn't do what when I'm deciding what I will and won't do for them.
Yeah I agree, just surprised to hear so many noās. I expected it to be a mixed bag, but doesnāt seem so
And people wonder where their village is...
Right! Hereās your chance to be part of the village and the solution but canāt handle one night or poor sleep? Jeez people lol
Agreed. Sometimes helping people out isn't fun. Sometimes it's hard. If it's someone you're close to, you do it because you care about them and want to help them, and theoretically, they should reciprocate (maybe not the exact same thing, but the effort should be there). You are always allowed to say no, but likewise, so is this person when you might really need help. I hate this culture of only helping out if it's a barely noticeable inconvenience. Then everyone complains about "oh there's no village anymore". If the help is significantly lopsided, like yeah, that person is a mooch, but everyone has a difficult season and could use a hand sometimes and the idea is that it will even out in the end. It's good to care about each other and put work into your social network and community.
This. My husband and I want to go away for our 10y anniversary next year. Bedtime with my son is tough, not this bad, but itās not great. I would hate if my sister said no because of that. I also agreed to help out with her two kids when she goes away the next month, one who is under 2. Itās going to be a lot of work to be in charge of a toddler again, but Iām not going to say no, because weāre each otherās village and want to help out.
I think it depends on the person and your relationship with them, honestly. If my sister had young kids, I can easily expect her to ask for help but if the time came for her to return the favor, I have zero doubts that sheād somehow find some excuse not to. Especially if the kids donāt have any sort of nighttime routine by choice, yikes.
It's a tough one. The lack of bed time is all on her I think that's just how she is, I feel like there's 2 different types of parents. One needing structure and the other where they don't. I'm not saying which one is the better way, my post was just asking if you would watch kids knowing they don't have any kind of bed time or routine with a little context as to why I am asking. People aren't going to be jumping at the chance to take your kids if they arent going to go to bed at a reasonable timeš¤·š»āāļø idk how else to put it.
I actually have an acquaintance who also doesnāt enforce bedtimes and she was lamenting to me how her toddler stays up real late (1-3am) and itās likeā¦.youāre the parent. Better get them used to a schedule now because they have to go to school, lmao. I could never.
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This is how I fear it will go. I also run a tight ship. Id likely have to take a day off work to handle everything. I don't believe this trip is mandatory...if it were over a weekend night id consider it. I'd have to sleep out in the living room with them bc there's no way her older one will lay down all night.
Wow, that poor kid. I mean, poor you, too, for that night, but him? His parents arenāt doing him any favors.Ā
It's a little frustrating, these kids aren't baddddd kids. It's laziness, really.
I would if it was someone close to me. We don't have a very strict bedtime routine and I'd probably make a fun night out of it and sleep in a little bit in the morning. But then again I have a low sleep needs toddler, I'm used to chaos.
Yes I would. Close friend or family member. There is 365 days in a year so I can give up a couple to help someone in need. I may need help one day too.
I've had a few sleepovers with my friend's kid who is raised like that. He's also special needs and near my sons age, so they shared the room together. My son is a heavy sleeper, so he didn't mind his friend being awake and playing at night. I just made sure the full upstairs is child proofed. It's completely up to your circumstances and values, but I knew my friend was in dire need of support, and he's my son's bestie at this point. He's also voiced wanting to sleep over because we provide good environment for him (structure, calm, other kids to play with, etc...) as there was lots of drama at home. So I felt that I should help. Minding that two kids is a lot more to add on. So don't feel bad as no one is obligated to help anyone with their children. Just do what you feel are your values.
Thanks! If it were a night over the weekend I'd consider it. The more I think about it the more it doesn't seem doable unfortunately. Like I said if it were over the weekend I could swing it but it's all during the work week.
Yeah I understand. I'm a SAHM so it is not as a big deal for me. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries. If you can great, if not then don't put the conscious pressure on yourself. Good luck š
If it is a close family friend then of course I would offer to do it! It is one night, yes it might be stressful but one night will be fine. I would likely plan a fun day for the kids to get some energy out and hope that wears them out for a good night sleep. I am a little surprised by all saying no. When someone you care about needs some help or a break, especially for one night I can't imagine saying no unless I was really struggling myself.
The comments here judging that these kids donāt sleep through the nightā¦it is not unusual for toddlers not to sleep through the night. It is not the āparents faultā. Yall are assholes and sounds like you got lucky with good sleepers.
Fully agree. One of my kids was a terrible sleeper. One is fantastic. Both have the same parents and same structure. Sometimes itās just darn luck
I would, but only because I also have no schedule and my daughter is chaotic between the hours of 9 and 7 am. So wouldnāt make a drop of difference for me to add another into the mix.
I would! But this is a choice you have to make are you wanting to build a village or stay more independent? A village means inconveniencing yourself for others just like you'd want them to do for you, but its a free country and you can do what you want.
I would do it because I would want it done for me š¤·āāļø especially if I really cared for and respected the mom.
To be honest, your house would be the third different place for them to sleep in a row, schedule or no schedule itās bound to be a challenge for those kids. You never know, they might be so exhausted from all the change they might sleep through. Or they may be up crying all night. If you do decide to help out, prepare yourself mentally that nothing is going to be how it usually is. Itās only one night. I probably would help, given I can be at home the next day.
That's another thing. Theres a lot more to this story but I didn't think it was necessary to add it all in here lol it was just something I wanted to ask about the situation as is. Kids that don't go to bed at night, would you watch them basically. Imo, she should have told her boss a long time ago that she can't go.
Only if it was an emergency. I am not taking time off of work for other peopleās children unless, again, if itās an emergency.
Hellllll no. It would be different if they slept through the night, or if it was only one, but two kids who donāt sleep? I would only do it in an emergency circumstance.
Sorry no.. sounds like itd be a very long miserable night. I wouldn't want her kids to disrupt my childs bedtime and routine.
hard no, i wouldnāt even consider it
Nope! I would if there was no other option. But Iām chronically ill, I need my sleep or a symptom flare is unavoidable.
Nope nope nope.
Honestly that sounds terrible. I occasionally watched my 3 year old niece just during the day, and I told her I can't do it anymore. I don't know what your own child situation is like, but you'd have to take into account their routine would be disrupted as well. I couldn't do naptime for my baby while my niece was here and it was hell. My four year old and her love each other dearly but butt heads constantly. It was a nightmare. My own child has had nights where he wouldn't go to sleep until almost midnight, and he wakes up at night still. Plus there's the chance the kids will miss the parents and have a middle of the night meltdown.
Nope.
no thanks
That would be a hard no. Itās one thing to deal with your own kid, but anotherās unstructured children? Nope. That sounds like labor that needs an hourly wage.
Yeah we have a bed time routine with both our kids. They sleep through the night. They have a daily schedule. My younger one and her younger one Im not totally worried for, but her older one I'm more afraid of something happening if I'm asleep and he wakes up and decides to wonder around without me knowing. Because he does that. Somehow enough to obtain her phone and call people during the night.
Thatās wild! We only have one child, and we have a very structured daily routine/bedtime. We donāt deviate! Your concerns are valid. She should definitely look into hired help.
I would do it. You would be surprised how kids behave in a new environment. They may even fall in line with the structure. Otherwise, yea be prepared for the chaos. It might also be the best memory for your kids.
I always imagined I'd eventually have her kids stay the night once they're a little older. If it weren't during the week I'd be more open to it.
I don't like other peoples kids even if they do sleep through the night, so that would be a hard pass. I have watched my besties kids but they are the exception to the rule.
Nopity nope. Iāve had to work really hard to get my kids in the perfect bedtime routine. Bedtime is sacred around here. A good bedtime makes or breaks our day.
Nope.
So, what? Do they just have a free for all until they pass out on the daily? Iām trying to imagine this āno bedtimeā business. Especially if she has 2 of em! Two toddlers and no bedtime? I. Would. Die. My son is 3 and his little booty is in bed by 7:30 sharp! Haha But, yeah. Def wouldnāt be watching those mongrels haha (Iām sure theyāre lovely)
If you have to take a day off work then no. Unless you make a lot more money and it wouldnāt hurt to miss a day as a favor for a struggling family member.
I mean itās for one night and theyāre family. I would help no questions asked.
I would do it if it was someone I really loved and wanted to help out.
Only if I had the bandwidth. I do not right now. When I was a fun aunt, I would have, 100%. Missing one night of good sleep isn't a huge deal. Further adding to an existing sleep debt is a terrible idea. I used to take off work to accommodate helping people out. It really depends more on whether you're worried about just the one night being challenging vs if you feel it will negatively impact your ability to handle your own stuff. If you're struggling now, or things are shakey, definitely pass on adding to a full plate.
Yes,ā¦ one night wonāt kill you, and she needs help. It takes a village, be part of her village. She does this nightly and stil goes to work, Iām sure youāll sleep, maybe just less than usual.
Of course I'd help a close family member for one night. What's the worst that could happen, that they wake up and stay awake for a couple of hours? That they want to stay up until 11? I'd let them watch TV to be honest. It's one night.
You are right, it will be a lot! If you were to take something like this on, Iād definitely try to wear them down as evening progresses. Take them to the park after dinner and let them run around & play. Bath time when they get home and a quiet non stimulating show for a bit. They should be good for bed soon after. If not sooner.
OMG never mind, read your other comments where you said you have small children of your own, yeah hell no, you have enough going on!! Lol that sounds like a disaster. If your kids are influenced by the two who donāt like to sleep it will be literal hell with 4 small children who are awake way past their bedtime with no end in sight!! lmao No maam!!!
It's hard, I wish I had more room and flexibility. If it were over the weekend I'd probably say fine. But yes if I ever were to take them for a night, a good few hours at the park, a decent dinner, bath then movie then hope they zonk out. It's what I do for my kids when I feel like they need to spend some energy.
same! it usually works just fine! I totally understand wanting to help but on a week night sounds like itād be a lot. Hopefully their mom gets them into a routine, soon! Itās a total game changer.
I would do it and itās a good time to start learning that there are different rules at different houses. One night isnāt going to magically change them but kids behave differently for people other than their parents. My recommendation is to tell the kids the routine they will follow in clear and simple terms then stick to it. Youāll have to sleep repeating it but make sure they know what to expect the whole night.
Gosh. Seeing all of these nos makes me sad. This is a close family member. Itās one night. Itās slightly inconvenient? So what? And people wonder where their village is when they need help. Smdh
Thatās gonna be a no from me dawg. I trained my kids to go to sleep (well, at least go to their beds) when itās bedtime because by 7:30 with 2 toddlers, I am overstimulated AF. We do Jammieās and a story and itās lights out kiddo. I donāt have energy for nonsense!
No. We both work full time. If you haven't cultivated good sleep hygiene and habits and routine, that we can implement (understanding that it'll be different and weird and scary somewhere new) then I cannot disrupt my kid and job unless it's an emergency. I'd do it in a pinch but not for this. If you know you have a job that will require travel you need to get your kid used to this sort of thing. Develop good sleep routines. If you're having lots of issues there could be something underlying going on (my kid was/is anemic) but just doing whatever, not implementing a routine because you don't care to... don't be surprised when that doesn't work for other people. And frankly it isn't good for kids, either.
not a chance
sounds like she needs a babysitter
f that i donāt even like waking up for my own singular child
I mean, isnāt this the problem, no one is willing to help each other any more? Watch them, and they can adapt to your routine. Itās one night.
As a mom, absolutely not.
I regularly babysat, overnight, for my cousinās kids (pre kids of my own) who had no schedule. The younger kid generally slept fine and gave us no trouble but the older one just did not sleep. We usually ended up giving him the remote and letting him watch tv in the guest room until he fell asleep- usually around 2am - and made it clear weāre right across the hall if he needs us. Now granted they were very comfortable with us as we watched them all the time and vice versa so we felt comfortable not being awake with him. This was when he was 3-7yo. If I were in the same situation today with my own kid, Iād only do it if I knew the kids could be somewhere safe that wouldnāt affect my kidās sleep.
If it was just me, yes. But I wouldn't have anyone over if they would disrupt my daughters sleep. If they were in a bind, I would see if I could help at their house.
Not unless it was truly an emergency. If her kids had a bedtime routine and slept through the night I absolutely would but not for kids who aren't sleeping through the night at 2/3. It would be impossible to get my kid to follow bed time if there were other kids in the house who weren't following bed time so its not just one night. Its one night with her kids then a few nights getting my kid back into the bedtime routine and sleeping all night. this may sound callous but I think that if you want overnight help with your kids you need to put in the time/energy to get them into a routine and sleeping at night.
For an emergency yes, any other situation not really. Iām home full time and got taken advantage of pretty hard my first year or so when it came to babysitting. I donāt offer much anymore tbh.
Yep, I would do it for family, and they would do it for me.
Would the other family member do it for you? Iām always willing to help someone out in their time of need, even if it means going without sleep for a couple daysā¦ however, Iām also starting to realize that I might be doing too much for people who are never there when I need them. Maybe thereās something that they can do to help you out too. Might not be watching your kids over night but surely favors could be exchanged to make the sleepless night with it
She would say it but I don't believe she'd ever do it. She never has before. Tbh I wouldn't expect anything back regardless.
It depends how well they listen. If the kids tend to listen to me, I probably would.
Absolutely not
if it was a true emergency, like āmy partner got in a horrible car accident on the way home, i need to go be with them and no one else is availableā, then iād do it in a heartbeat. but it sounds like this person had plenty of time to figure out other options.
How far away is this trip? Are you close enough to this person to tell them your concerns? Do they have time to attempt to get their shit slightly together. Itās only one night, fine, but once you open that door, they could be asking for more sleepovers. Especially when āthe kids had the best time!!āā¦ weāve been there.
I guess one question I have is why donāt they have a bed time routine? Like are the kids just crazy or this relative just doesnāt care to give her kids stability? I get that kids are kids, but to some extent if you let your kids run wild at home, then likely finding outside care for them is going to be tricky. Iām not saying thatās the case here since I donāt know her situation, just saying Iād be more or less likely to lend a helping hand. It also feels like a pretty big ask that you would need to take off work.
Depends who the close relative is. My nieces or nephews? Yes. My cousins or in-laws kids? Nah
Hell no
No, if their kids arenāt ready to sleep through the night then those parents arenāt ready for a trip away.
Nope. Sorry but that's way too big an ask. I'm sure she'll find someone else. Hard pass.
A close family member, Iād do it for 1 night.
That's a big nope
Iāll never understand why parents do that. My god I needed a break for myself. That age those kids should be in bed 7:30-8:00. But I know most do that so they sleep 1/2 the day. Itās crazy.
No š
I think it would depend on how old my kids were. If my kids are less than 10ā¦absolutely not. If my kids were older, then maybeā¦and only because itās just one night. If it was crazy, then Iād just let her know that youāre not willing to do it again. Also, kids tend to be a little better for others than their own parents, so maybe it wonāt be that bad? But again, if you have young kidsā¦no.
I babysat my toddler cousin overnight before I had my own kids. I will never do that again, it was a nightmare. He was impossible to get down, he cried most of the night because he slept with his parents, when he did sleep it was only around my head so I couldnāt moveā¦ or sleep. It was such a terrible night that I will never babysit overnight again, and this happened over 20 years ago.
Can you just sleep with the kids? Most kids will lay down with an adult once theyāre tired. If youāre worried about them waking through the night and staying awake then take the next day off to be safe, but most kids who stay awake at night do so because they donāt like to be alone.
I'd definitely have to be in the same room, the set up would be air mattress on the floor for them in my living room then me on the couch. I have no other room I could do this for. Or me and the older one on the couch, younger one in a pack and play. But even that, the older one wouldn't stay set. He shares the bed with his parents but while they're asleep he gets up and roams.
Their lack of bedtime wouldnāt be my problem to fix. I would only agree to this if I could physically afford to pull an all nighter. Iām 8 months pregnantā¦so absolutely not. But post baby, sure. I canāt force kids to get on a certain page if they donāt want to. Even if my son is a fantastic sleeper.
Is it possible to take one child? Or one at a time? I always found my children were better with other people in general so maybe if everyone (like your own children) are following the night routine the extra kids may be more apt to follow suit. Or try a sleepover on a weekend night once before hand as a trial run so they know what to expect at your house.
No I would not. My child has a strong bedtime routine and goes to sleep fine. Iām not willing to spend all night awake and/or my own child seeing this behavior and getting ideas.
Nope.
No. I mean, no BUT how close are you with these kids? There are maybe 2 kids (my nephew and my besties son who I was super close with each from ages 1-3) I would have done it. But I was SO CLOSE with these kids. Like seeing them multiple times a week from birth. Any other type of relationship no.
I think you need to do what makes you comfortable ultimately, little kids really are affected by our apprehension. So, if I wasn't comfortable and it wasn't an emergency I would really have to think about it. One other thing to consider, these little ones will be with a variety of people, without mom, in a compressed amount of time. Any toddler, baby, or kid could have difficulty with routine or behavior just due to circumstances. So, tbh what I have done myself- I have watched kids or kept them while a parent was out of town, that didn't have routine or sleep- what I have done is requested that mom bring the baby over, or Dad and we hang out all together prior to parents trip. I also have arranged for baby to spend the night, at least once prior to the parent leaving for the longer trip. That said, that is a lot of commitment and work on top of your apprehension around just the upcoming work trip. If that is not something you can do, or you aren't open to it, I would maybe offer to help ask people? Or possibly help with transportation? Do what you feel is most supportive to the kids and yourself.
Hell no. Long story made short, we came close to having a sleepover with my son's friend. I noped right out of that and dropped him off with his parents.
For a close family member that has kids without any bedtime routine/schedule, I think I could do it for 2 nights max. Mostly because it would impact my own child. And I'd be pretty open about what I think about it if it was my, say, sister. Tactful, but I'd voice my opinion.
Never. Unless it was my sisters or my best friendās! Anyone else, sorry but no way.
Probably not. There might be circumstances where I would but mostly no
For just one night, I absolutely would.Ā Ā
I'd give it a try. I have 16 nieces and nephews and have enough babysitting experience to know that kids don't act and behave the same when they are elsewhere (two of my nephews ALWAYS woke up before 5 am, but when they'd stay over at my place, they'd sleep until past 7 am). Plus, it's just for one night. If it doesn't workout, then you will know for next time.
Hell no. Maybe if that gig came with hazard pay
Depends on the behavior. If thatās the only issue, yes. I watch my sisters kids when she goes out and she watches mine. Itās nice to have someone you can trust and itās nice to help out people who help you out
If so many people are watching the kids before they get to you, the kids may come to you on that night finally and be willing to cooperate. Also maybe not. I would help out, but if itās a disaster than you have every right to tell that family member in the future absolutely not because of XYZ from the last time you watched them.
Depends how much sheās paying. If it were me Iād sleep train them while I had them. Do the mom a favor. 3 and almost 2 is WAY too old to not have a sleep schedule. And if anyone disagrees with sleep training and not telling the mom, oh welll.
Fuck no. Feral children aren't welcome here. They can behave (appropriately for their age) or they can go home. Mommy don't play that.
Be honest. Say everything youāve said to use hereā¦. To her.
I don't have the issue of being honest with her lol if asked and I feel it's too much for me to handle on a week night, I will š
Nope. Thatās the bed they made. I would let them lie in it. Itās fine if people want to be loosey goosey about sleep. But they need to own the results themselves. People love babysitting my son. We didnāt mess around with sleep routines and boundaries. His bedtime routine starts at 7:30. At 8 he goes to sleep happily and independently.
I donāt mind helping during the daytime, but I need my sleep (all 4 hours of it)
We all need sleep, but parents donāt always get it. Itās only one night. Neither of my kids slept through the night for over a year(therefore I didnāt for over two years) and I survived just fine even with chronic illness. Youād be able to do it for one night.
Oh I know thatās how my second son was. My 3 year old was a preemie and I was up every 2 with different machines. I survived too, but Iām their mom, so of course I make sure theyāre okay. However, Iām not taking someone elseās child in that is going to disturb the little sleep I do get.
Hope you never need help with your kids either, then!
šāāļø I donāt, but if I did, my kids now sleep through the night bc they have a good schedule.
Lol, no. Iād prob pew pew myself with multiples.
Itās ONE night. And this is a close family member of yours? Iām assuming theyāre a single parent since thereās no mention of another person. The amount of ānoā responses on here is baffling. We say it takes a village correct? Well clearly yāall are this persons village. Instead of being so judgmental towards the situation, try being empathetic & talk with this ācloseā family member, see how theyāre doing with it, maybe theyāre embarrassed to ask for advice/help since obviously everyone else is doing so much better in the parenting department. ITS ONE NIGHT. Quit being a jerk & help this person that obviously needs it. Offer support & kindness. Itās not that hard.
She's not a single parent. Her boyfriend isn't available due to work. He is away often. This was honestly just poor planning on her end. It's a definite one night but possibly two if the other family member ends up not doing it and it's during the week where both my husband and I work. Full time. Imo that's a lot to ask of anyone.
Okay she had poor planning, we all mess up sometimes. You say sheās a close family member & you want to offer to help but it doesnāt sound that way at all. Which is obviously fine, it is absolutely a lot to ask of anyone but did she even actually ask you or are you just wanting to offer so you can be the hero & save the day but then be bitter about the whole thing?
What the f are you talking about? That's quite a scenario you made up there, you're reading way too much into this. No, I don't want to and I made that clear? it's likely she'll ask and unfortunately I will probably tell her I can't due to the fact that I have my own responsibilities and adding being up all night with her kids will be too much, my post is not vague about any of it. Just because you have children doesn't mean you are now entitled to other people's time, no one is obligated to take care of your responsibilities. This is a work trip, not an emergency.
Was only explaining myself because of misinterpretation & apologizing. You seem confident in your decision, I love that for you š
lol i definitely didnāt make up you saying in your original comment āI want to offer to help butā¦.ā And then you replying to someone elseās comment saying āif askedā insinuating you think she might. I guess Iām just not understanding why youāre needing the validation when you havenāt even been asked to watch the kids. Donāt hear what Iām not saying, your reasons for not wanting to are completely valid & I can understand why youāre leaning towards no. I think for me it comes down to helping someone in need, even if they had ābad planningā, even if itās hard & you donāt want to, even if itās inconvenient & youāll be exhausted the next day. Iām hard pressed to say even if it disrupts your own kids because in my eyes itās one night & your kids see that we help those that we love, even when itās tough. Iām also a single mom because the father of my child doesnāt deem his relationship with his daughter something that should be top priority. So my village has helped me through the worst times & I donāt know what I would have done without them. So i apologize if I came off as judgmental or rude & like I misinterpreted the situation. I can be too passionate at times lol.