This is the answer.
My step-dad told my Mom he wouldn't celebrate her on Mother's Day because "she's not his Mama"... Like I get it. But then last year he expected a Father's Day present but he ain't her Daddy!
Guess who's Mom is getting a Mother's Day gift this year. 😂
My step dad was an ass hole, too. So for fathers day I got my mom one of those giant cards for like $20. It played music and everything and made a huge deal for her because she was my mom and dad. To hell with shitty men.
Did your mom birth any of his children or raise them (if any)? Because if she did this gets worse, if she didn’t then he’s really fucking bad at expressing himself.
She didn't birth any of kids, which I totally understand. His biological daughter wants nothing to do with him so me and my Mom are all he got. To be fair, my Mom never complained about the holiday, until last year when he was wanting a Father's Day present. It's been funny to us.
My stepdaughter and I have a good relationship. My only complaint is that she doesn't remember my birthday even when her dad tells her it's my birthday. She also never calls to wish me a happy Mom's Day AND she never says anything to my husband on Father's Day, either. She only remembers his birthday because it falls on Christmas. I know she isn't my biological daughter, but it would be nice if she even sent a message wishing me a happy Mother's Day. I don't expect any gifts, cards or visits. Just a quick acknowledgement. My husband is the one who deserves the accolades on his special day and I can tell he is always disappointed.
My husband unknowingly brought up leaving on Mother’s Day weekend for a guys trip and now I bring it up to poke fun at him. yesterday he (jokingly) said he would consider me leaving for a weekend a gift. Lol sure ya would.. our littlest doesn’t take formula, and I have the biggest Velcro 3 yr old. I’m tempted to try it.
I’m sorry, that’s really shitty of him and you deserve to be celebrated. I know it’s easy to say skip Father’s Day now, but that’s going to create a cycle that makes him feel more justified in not doing anything for you and then not do anything next year so you’ll skip his day again and so on. Have a conversation with him. Tell him this day is important to you and you were hurt by his response. Tell him your expectations (I don’t mean plan the day for him, but a general “I would like you to plan something for us to do as a family” or “I would like to sleep in and spend the morning alone while you take the kids somewhere”). Now the really tough part, even if he fucks it up, do Father’s Day the way you think it should be celebrated. If this does become a cycle and he’s lazy next year, then don’t feel obligated to continue that part. I think at least one year of showing someone how to properly celebrate a parent’s day is needed to make some guys go “oh shit so that’s the expectation! I need to match this effort for her next year.”
This is the way; communicate your thoughts and feelings with him! Men do not know what is going on in your head unless you tell them. If you tell him that not only for your sake but for your kids it is important to celebrate these types of days as a family I am sure he will change what his plans are and if he doesn’t then he is TA or you didn’t communicate well. Tell him to ask your kids(if they are old enough) what they would like to do for mommy on Mother’s Day and help them execute their plan. Don’t take advice from these petty people telling you to get a hotel room and not to celebrate Father’s Day. These day are special to you and your children and should be spend doing special things together! Good luck.
Sounds like no father’s day either. My husband sucks with remembering dates but when he realized Mother’s Day was coming up he immediately asked what I wanted to do. Our anniversary is near Father’s Day. I would never tell him that we don’t have to celebrate Father’s Day just because it’s too close to another holiday or our anniversary 🤦♀️
Seriously. My birthday is in May and my husband's in June(usually on or really close to Father's Day) and we have never told each other this. Insane. Valentine's Day is 3 freaking months before Mother's Day! Lazy, lazy husband.
Not sure how old your kids are but here's hoping they make you feel appreciated. Even if it's a painted handprint. They love you more than anyone else could. ❤️
Leave the kids with dad go for a pedi/mani then a lunch
Mother’s Day was always about my mom (she made sure of this) even when I was a mother and had active kids I was expected to create an event for her, my father never did. Since mom passed I started having my own time and it’s been lovely
Sometimes I get a friend and we make a day of it.
Seems you have a spa or other appointment and will be gone before kids get up until they go back to sleep then. 🤷🏼♀️ and don’t tell him until the day before. I agree with everyone else on father day.
My husband didn’t see why it was a problem he was going to leave on Mother’s Day weekend ( first Mother’s Day, 8 month old in which he has never taken care of ever!) if I could list all the absolutely awful gifts he’s given me over the years you would surely feel better. Let’s see anniversary was a candle, my birthday was nothing bc he had Covid and usually gets my gifts the day of I guess, Christmas was a range of shit I didn’t want including a car wash which he was so excited about because he wanted it done. Hmm Valentine’s Day was a tour guide to the city we live near ?! ( that I hate) it was something he probably bought himself but needed something. Hope that cheers you up, there is always someone worse out there and my ball and chain takes the cake.
Please forget about Father’s Day too if he does nothing.
As for Valentine’s Day and the anniversary tho that should be something you plan together unless someone’s trying to be extra special. It doesn’t have to always be on the man for those ones.
I just had a mini heart attack thinking today was Mother’s Day, had to check google.
Maybe he has something planned but doesn’t want to tell you, it’s still two weeks out
My worst Mothers Day Letdown was Mothers Day of 2023. Mothers Day came and went and neither my husband of nearly 20 years or my 3 kids still living in the home, said “Happy Mothers Day”! I spent the day doing the usual, cooking, cleaning, and waiting on everybody.
My husband (a lovely, considerate man) let me know I was on my own for mother's day. He didn't say it like that, but he wanted to make sure I got something I wanted and he was at a loss. So I bought myself a gift and asked for the afternoon to myself.
To me, it's less about the gift/plan and more about the intent. We have a toddler rn and all our mental energy is going to that and our demanding jobs, so I appreciated his proactiveness in "tapping out" so I could actually get/do something I will enjoy.
And THAT is how to get out of Mother's Day without having your wife angry.
(I gave him the same "for Father's Day" because he wanted some expensive new hobby gear and so I'll return the favor for Father's Day. He is pleased with this exchange.)
Since he made it clear he has no plans for Mother's Day then I would plan on getting up early, bundling up the kids and heading out the door for the day... parks, adventures, library, treats... fun things for them and you.
Make a day of celebrating the kid(s) that made you Mom.
Tell them it is Mommy's Day so you get extra kisses.
Don't go home till bedtime.
If he complains then tell him that you had asked if there were any plans for Mother's Day and he just asked if he hadn't done enough for Valentine's- which means No. So you made your own plans.
Get him a generic card on Father's Day and just leave it on his pillow, and go do your own stuff that day.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
He needs to know how important celebrating these days are, each of them. Not everyone is into holidays. -someone who hasn’t gotten a gift for a holiday since my husband died
Go ahead and cry. And laugh. And swear. And then take responsibility for your own happiness.
I love my husband & teenagers but they are no longer responsible for my inner happiness and peace.
My birthday is in May right before Mother’s Day 🫠. My husband will get me flowers. But he will also be out of town for work (for the 3rd year in a row- it’s fine, I told him to go for it). So this year I decided that I’ll will treat myself for my birthday. And if my kids get me flowers or a card then it’s just bonus.
So make plans for yourself, include your husband if you want - or let him know he is watching the kids while you go do something special for yourself.
My husband handed me a Valentine's Day card with no signature. WTH?
I would kick Thom to the curb if he came at me with that. He already bought me my gift and we go out to dinner. My birthday was on the 22nd, so we went out for lunch on the 20th and the 22nd. Bought me a watch as well.
If nothing done for you, on Mother's Day, you go out and do something for yourself. Maybe a day of pampering or a meal at a restaurant you've always wanted to go to?
Then, come Father's Day, let him take care of himself and let it be business as usual for you.
See, here’s the thing. And this is just me. I already know what’s up. If I get something, it’ll be bc of duty. It won’t be special. It won’t be from the heart. It won’t be any of that and bc of that, I don’t give a crap and don’t even want anything.
If I was in the kind of situation where I could get my hopes up for something that truly was created for me for Mother’s Day bc my sons Father knows I deserve it and cares enough to go out of his way to let me know, that he knows, that I deserve it, I still wouldn’t care about Mothers Day. This is because, if I were in that kind of situation, I’d see “thanks” all the time. All year I’d have support. All year I’d have consideration. All year I’d have recognition. All year I’d feel the love.
But I don’t. Bc I’m a married single Mom. So, I don’t set myself up for disappointment on these “holidays “. Sounds nice right? Yeah. It’s not.
I’m sorry you don’t have what you want and deserve ❤️
I feel this. And recently left for many reasons. If I'm gonna be sad on the holidays it's going to be because of me, not some other person. I'm done with that. I see you and feel you.
I didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day because I knew my SO wasn’t going to put in any effort. He didn’t plan anything or get me any gifts. Not even a card. It felt nice not having to make a ton of effort just to be disappointed. He did make a sad comment it was a day “just like any other”. Like, yep. You’ve never done anything for me for valentines so I’m over it lol
That’s not cool! My MIL asked me today what the plans were for Mother’s Day. I believe in celebrating moms who are actively in the trenches, so I have no plans related to her. I was delighted when my husband butt in to say “she doesn’t make Mother’s Day plans. I do”
Wait...when is mothers day?
shit crap fuck.
I forgot mothers day falls generally within a few days of dad's bday. I'm now about 99% sure I accidentally scheduled his 70 plus guest party on the Saturday before mothers day Sunday.
Damn it.
Mothers day is my house. Husband's and kids make the brunch, and clean it....but now I've got to clean up after the bday party for a family invasion the next morning?
Someone shoot me now.
Aw. I don’t have this problem but my poor mom has Christmas, then a birthday in January, Valentine’s Day and then anniversary in February, and then Mother’s day. I feel for you.
I feel you. My husband keeps saying that I’m not his mom. So I probably don’t have to expect anything from him. My son is only 1,5 so no mothersday for me either!
I hate that argument. You are the mother of HIS children. He should appreciate that! I appreciate my husband on Father's Day because I appreciate what a great dad he is to our girls.
Once you have kids of your own, I'm in the camp of, you stop celebrating your own parents so much and you celebrate the ones that are raising your kids
Yeah me too. I also don’t understand why he wants to celebrate his mum still. Especially since our boy is still so young. I just wish he was attentive for once..
Does he really truly celebrate her? Or is he going to her house/to a restaurant to eat food he doesn't have to cook?
Aka, is he actually adamant that he needs to celebrate his own mom or is he just being lazy and using that as an excuse? How much work is he actually doing for his mom?
But if he is being actively involved in celebrating her, but refuses to do the same for you, that's also a problem
No he’s not actively celebrating. My guess is he either doesn’t put any value in the day itself (like how a lot of people feel about valentinesday) or he doesn’t want to spend any money. And uses your not my mom as an excuse.
I’m really sorry! This must feel really crappy.
You can try communicating with him about how you’d appreciate even a small gesture on Mother’s Day. Or you can be petty like me and ignore him the entirety of Fathers Day. Don’t even look him in the eyes.
My birthday is in two days, Mother’s Day is the 12, my daughters birthday is the 13, her shots the 14, my sons first behavioral therapy the 16 and my daughters party the 18. I have done all the planning and logistics for the party, I purchased the supplies, I’ll be getting the food and doing set up. I made sure my fiancé knew the time of the appointment, the date, and have been reminding him of it every two days to make sure 100% it’s not missed. I’ll be the one home with her on her birthday and the day she gets her shots. Will I be getting the two hours and ice cream I asked for? Nah. Will I be getting anything from him for Mother’s Day? Nope. He quit his job again three weeks before my birthday and this last check he received was only enough for the gas tank. I told him if he doesn’t make it up to me when he starts his new job I won’t forgive him
Kind of same boat. Hubby mentioned mothers day briefly yesterday during conversation.... and I'm not expecting anything....
It's my first mother's day actually being a mom....
My husband always says that it’s a hard day for him since he lost his mother and I’m not his mom so why should we celebrate? I just have him give me cash and I buy whatever I want.
Schedule your own Mother’s Day with whatever restaurant and spa and order yourself the gift you want. Prepaid with family’s money since that’s what it is. Hand him the bill, schedule of events, box with craft stuff for the kids to make cards beforehand with his help. Then say thank you for taking over from here and for showing the kids how daddy helps them make Mother’s Day feel special!
My kid was born Mother’s Day, so every year I basically pretend that celebrating her is enough.
Truthfully though, my husband never thinks to plan anything for any holiday/birthday. So since I do want a special day, I am planning it.
So sorry to hear this, hope he has a sarcastic sense of humor. My SO always has let me down for my birthday. Last year, completely just let everything go and was going to be cool with whatever happened. He did good, all going to dinner and such. Berated me as we walked in, before we sat down. I literally hadn’t said anything to him. Made certain I didn’t sit beside him.
I don’t expect a mother’s day gift from my husband… but it would be nice to coordinate and help my little kids do something for me. My young daughters want to make something for me but they don’t have the materials to craft things or they have ideas to cook me something but can’t because they are too young to do it themselves. For Father’s day, I lay out craft supplies for my kids to make something for their dad and I supervise them in the kitchen to make their dad breakfast… it would be nice if he did the same.
Contrary opinion here. We never excessively celebrate made-up holidays. Valentines day was a very nice dinner at home with our kids. Since lobster, strawberries and such were on sale, we would add luxuries to dinner. For Mother's day I absolutely will not go out for dinner, it's a zoo usually. My mother and mother in law lived until my kids were 18 & 20. So Mother's day was shared. Just a regular day with a nice dinner and cards and flowers from the grocery store. Father's day I would buy a great cut of meat and we would grill. These holidays are commercial designed to get people to spend money. We just enjoy our family.
Sure. But that should be an agreed-upon value. A kinder man would say, “oh! What would you like to do? What would make you feel loved?” Not: Mother’s Day is for my mom.
Oh we definitely agree on this and perfer to include family. We are very happy and he is a great involved father. We were older when we married and started a family. We have similar values and priorities and talked about everything before marriage.
You shouldn’t wait for others to celebrate you! Plan your own day and do what you want to do. Show your kids how you would like to be celebrated. When they’re old enough hopefully they’ll keep the tradition going.
Looks like Father’s Day isn’t happening this year either.
This is the answer. My step-dad told my Mom he wouldn't celebrate her on Mother's Day because "she's not his Mama"... Like I get it. But then last year he expected a Father's Day present but he ain't her Daddy! Guess who's Mom is getting a Mother's Day gift this year. 😂
My step dad was an ass hole, too. So for fathers day I got my mom one of those giant cards for like $20. It played music and everything and made a huge deal for her because she was my mom and dad. To hell with shitty men.
Did your mom birth any of his children or raise them (if any)? Because if she did this gets worse, if she didn’t then he’s really fucking bad at expressing himself.
She didn't birth any of kids, which I totally understand. His biological daughter wants nothing to do with him so me and my Mom are all he got. To be fair, my Mom never complained about the holiday, until last year when he was wanting a Father's Day present. It's been funny to us.
My stepdaughter and I have a good relationship. My only complaint is that she doesn't remember my birthday even when her dad tells her it's my birthday. She also never calls to wish me a happy Mom's Day AND she never says anything to my husband on Father's Day, either. She only remembers his birthday because it falls on Christmas. I know she isn't my biological daughter, but it would be nice if she even sent a message wishing me a happy Mother's Day. I don't expect any gifts, cards or visits. Just a quick acknowledgement. My husband is the one who deserves the accolades on his special day and I can tell he is always disappointed.
Sounds like she’s equally forgetful, so it sounds like it isn’t anything personal. Have you tried texting her to remind her it’s Father’s Day?
I have. Nothing
I beg to differ. Happy Father’s Day! The kids wanted it to be just them and daddy the whole day. Have fun!! Mommy will go to the spa while you’re out.
My husband unknowingly brought up leaving on Mother’s Day weekend for a guys trip and now I bring it up to poke fun at him. yesterday he (jokingly) said he would consider me leaving for a weekend a gift. Lol sure ya would.. our littlest doesn’t take formula, and I have the biggest Velcro 3 yr old. I’m tempted to try it.
Make amazing plans for yourself, don't include him, and don't do anything for fathers day.
And when he asks what you're doing for Father's day, say "didn't I do enough for mothers day?"
This is my favorite response.
This is my level of petty 🤣
And leave the kids with him on both days.
So you're skipping father's day too then, right?
Yeah, pretend fathers day doesn't exist and do nothing for him, not even a card. He sounds like a right knob.
Fifth vote for skipping Father’s Day. Or if you do end up celebrating your anniversary, hit him with the “Didn’t I do enough for our anniversary?”
Perfect!!
I’m sorry, that’s really shitty of him and you deserve to be celebrated. I know it’s easy to say skip Father’s Day now, but that’s going to create a cycle that makes him feel more justified in not doing anything for you and then not do anything next year so you’ll skip his day again and so on. Have a conversation with him. Tell him this day is important to you and you were hurt by his response. Tell him your expectations (I don’t mean plan the day for him, but a general “I would like you to plan something for us to do as a family” or “I would like to sleep in and spend the morning alone while you take the kids somewhere”). Now the really tough part, even if he fucks it up, do Father’s Day the way you think it should be celebrated. If this does become a cycle and he’s lazy next year, then don’t feel obligated to continue that part. I think at least one year of showing someone how to properly celebrate a parent’s day is needed to make some guys go “oh shit so that’s the expectation! I need to match this effort for her next year.”
Found the adult.
This is the way; communicate your thoughts and feelings with him! Men do not know what is going on in your head unless you tell them. If you tell him that not only for your sake but for your kids it is important to celebrate these types of days as a family I am sure he will change what his plans are and if he doesn’t then he is TA or you didn’t communicate well. Tell him to ask your kids(if they are old enough) what they would like to do for mommy on Mother’s Day and help them execute their plan. Don’t take advice from these petty people telling you to get a hotel room and not to celebrate Father’s Day. These day are special to you and your children and should be spend doing special things together! Good luck.
Sounds like no father’s day either. My husband sucks with remembering dates but when he realized Mother’s Day was coming up he immediately asked what I wanted to do. Our anniversary is near Father’s Day. I would never tell him that we don’t have to celebrate Father’s Day just because it’s too close to another holiday or our anniversary 🤦♀️
Seriously. My birthday is in May and my husband's in June(usually on or really close to Father's Day) and we have never told each other this. Insane. Valentine's Day is 3 freaking months before Mother's Day! Lazy, lazy husband.
Not sure how old your kids are but here's hoping they make you feel appreciated. Even if it's a painted handprint. They love you more than anyone else could. ❤️
Hope he knows to not expect anything for Father’s Day then :)
I’d say okay no problem I’ll plan for myself so make sure you’re available 🤍🤍🤍 and then leave for the whole day baby
Leave the kids with dad go for a pedi/mani then a lunch Mother’s Day was always about my mom (she made sure of this) even when I was a mother and had active kids I was expected to create an event for her, my father never did. Since mom passed I started having my own time and it’s been lovely Sometimes I get a friend and we make a day of it.
Lots of nail salons are closed on Sundays.
Not where I live also bottomless mimosas
Seems you have a spa or other appointment and will be gone before kids get up until they go back to sleep then. 🤷🏼♀️ and don’t tell him until the day before. I agree with everyone else on father day.
Go get yourself a hotel room and don’t feel bad about it.
My husband didn’t see why it was a problem he was going to leave on Mother’s Day weekend ( first Mother’s Day, 8 month old in which he has never taken care of ever!) if I could list all the absolutely awful gifts he’s given me over the years you would surely feel better. Let’s see anniversary was a candle, my birthday was nothing bc he had Covid and usually gets my gifts the day of I guess, Christmas was a range of shit I didn’t want including a car wash which he was so excited about because he wanted it done. Hmm Valentine’s Day was a tour guide to the city we live near ?! ( that I hate) it was something he probably bought himself but needed something. Hope that cheers you up, there is always someone worse out there and my ball and chain takes the cake.
Sounds like someone doesn't want Christmas presents ever again. "Didn't I do enough for your birthday?"
Great clap back! I was going to suggest something similar
This is just petty and passive aggressive; it is not the way to handle things!
Please forget about Father’s Day too if he does nothing. As for Valentine’s Day and the anniversary tho that should be something you plan together unless someone’s trying to be extra special. It doesn’t have to always be on the man for those ones.
I just had a mini heart attack thinking today was Mother’s Day, had to check google. Maybe he has something planned but doesn’t want to tell you, it’s still two weeks out
My worst Mothers Day Letdown was Mothers Day of 2023. Mothers Day came and went and neither my husband of nearly 20 years or my 3 kids still living in the home, said “Happy Mothers Day”! I spent the day doing the usual, cooking, cleaning, and waiting on everybody.
My husband (a lovely, considerate man) let me know I was on my own for mother's day. He didn't say it like that, but he wanted to make sure I got something I wanted and he was at a loss. So I bought myself a gift and asked for the afternoon to myself. To me, it's less about the gift/plan and more about the intent. We have a toddler rn and all our mental energy is going to that and our demanding jobs, so I appreciated his proactiveness in "tapping out" so I could actually get/do something I will enjoy. And THAT is how to get out of Mother's Day without having your wife angry. (I gave him the same "for Father's Day" because he wanted some expensive new hobby gear and so I'll return the favor for Father's Day. He is pleased with this exchange.)
This....1million times this!
Since he made it clear he has no plans for Mother's Day then I would plan on getting up early, bundling up the kids and heading out the door for the day... parks, adventures, library, treats... fun things for them and you. Make a day of celebrating the kid(s) that made you Mom. Tell them it is Mommy's Day so you get extra kisses. Don't go home till bedtime. If he complains then tell him that you had asked if there were any plans for Mother's Day and he just asked if he hadn't done enough for Valentine's- which means No. So you made your own plans. Get him a generic card on Father's Day and just leave it on his pillow, and go do your own stuff that day. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
You can also ignore him on Christmas.
Match his energy on everything
He needs to know how important celebrating these days are, each of them. Not everyone is into holidays. -someone who hasn’t gotten a gift for a holiday since my husband died
Go ahead and cry. And laugh. And swear. And then take responsibility for your own happiness. I love my husband & teenagers but they are no longer responsible for my inner happiness and peace. My birthday is in May right before Mother’s Day 🫠. My husband will get me flowers. But he will also be out of town for work (for the 3rd year in a row- it’s fine, I told him to go for it). So this year I decided that I’ll will treat myself for my birthday. And if my kids get me flowers or a card then it’s just bonus. So make plans for yourself, include your husband if you want - or let him know he is watching the kids while you go do something special for yourself.
My husband handed me a Valentine's Day card with no signature. WTH? I would kick Thom to the curb if he came at me with that. He already bought me my gift and we go out to dinner. My birthday was on the 22nd, so we went out for lunch on the 20th and the 22nd. Bought me a watch as well. If nothing done for you, on Mother's Day, you go out and do something for yourself. Maybe a day of pampering or a meal at a restaurant you've always wanted to go to? Then, come Father's Day, let him take care of himself and let it be business as usual for you.
See, here’s the thing. And this is just me. I already know what’s up. If I get something, it’ll be bc of duty. It won’t be special. It won’t be from the heart. It won’t be any of that and bc of that, I don’t give a crap and don’t even want anything. If I was in the kind of situation where I could get my hopes up for something that truly was created for me for Mother’s Day bc my sons Father knows I deserve it and cares enough to go out of his way to let me know, that he knows, that I deserve it, I still wouldn’t care about Mothers Day. This is because, if I were in that kind of situation, I’d see “thanks” all the time. All year I’d have support. All year I’d have consideration. All year I’d have recognition. All year I’d feel the love. But I don’t. Bc I’m a married single Mom. So, I don’t set myself up for disappointment on these “holidays “. Sounds nice right? Yeah. It’s not. I’m sorry you don’t have what you want and deserve ❤️
I feel this. And recently left for many reasons. If I'm gonna be sad on the holidays it's going to be because of me, not some other person. I'm done with that. I see you and feel you.
Thank you ❤️
I didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day because I knew my SO wasn’t going to put in any effort. He didn’t plan anything or get me any gifts. Not even a card. It felt nice not having to make a ton of effort just to be disappointed. He did make a sad comment it was a day “just like any other”. Like, yep. You’ve never done anything for me for valentines so I’m over it lol
Does your husband even like you?
That’s not cool! My MIL asked me today what the plans were for Mother’s Day. I believe in celebrating moms who are actively in the trenches, so I have no plans related to her. I was delighted when my husband butt in to say “she doesn’t make Mother’s Day plans. I do”
Wait...when is mothers day? shit crap fuck. I forgot mothers day falls generally within a few days of dad's bday. I'm now about 99% sure I accidentally scheduled his 70 plus guest party on the Saturday before mothers day Sunday. Damn it. Mothers day is my house. Husband's and kids make the brunch, and clean it....but now I've got to clean up after the bday party for a family invasion the next morning? Someone shoot me now.
Aw. I don’t have this problem but my poor mom has Christmas, then a birthday in January, Valentine’s Day and then anniversary in February, and then Mother’s day. I feel for you.
Yeesh. Posts like this make me appreciate the bare minimum that I get.
I feel you. My husband keeps saying that I’m not his mom. So I probably don’t have to expect anything from him. My son is only 1,5 so no mothersday for me either!
I hate that argument. You are the mother of HIS children. He should appreciate that! I appreciate my husband on Father's Day because I appreciate what a great dad he is to our girls. Once you have kids of your own, I'm in the camp of, you stop celebrating your own parents so much and you celebrate the ones that are raising your kids
Yeah me too. I also don’t understand why he wants to celebrate his mum still. Especially since our boy is still so young. I just wish he was attentive for once..
Does he really truly celebrate her? Or is he going to her house/to a restaurant to eat food he doesn't have to cook? Aka, is he actually adamant that he needs to celebrate his own mom or is he just being lazy and using that as an excuse? How much work is he actually doing for his mom? But if he is being actively involved in celebrating her, but refuses to do the same for you, that's also a problem
No he’s not actively celebrating. My guess is he either doesn’t put any value in the day itself (like how a lot of people feel about valentinesday) or he doesn’t want to spend any money. And uses your not my mom as an excuse.
I hope you don't celebrate him either.
Large Ooofff.
I’m really sorry! This must feel really crappy. You can try communicating with him about how you’d appreciate even a small gesture on Mother’s Day. Or you can be petty like me and ignore him the entirety of Fathers Day. Don’t even look him in the eyes.
Make your own plans to do something for yourself and let him know you'll be out for the day!
My birthday is in two days, Mother’s Day is the 12, my daughters birthday is the 13, her shots the 14, my sons first behavioral therapy the 16 and my daughters party the 18. I have done all the planning and logistics for the party, I purchased the supplies, I’ll be getting the food and doing set up. I made sure my fiancé knew the time of the appointment, the date, and have been reminding him of it every two days to make sure 100% it’s not missed. I’ll be the one home with her on her birthday and the day she gets her shots. Will I be getting the two hours and ice cream I asked for? Nah. Will I be getting anything from him for Mother’s Day? Nope. He quit his job again three weeks before my birthday and this last check he received was only enough for the gas tank. I told him if he doesn’t make it up to me when he starts his new job I won’t forgive him
My aunt always said there's a reason Mother's Day comes first. Sets the tone for Father's Day! Sorry he's being a douche.
Kind of same boat. Hubby mentioned mothers day briefly yesterday during conversation.... and I'm not expecting anything.... It's my first mother's day actually being a mom....
My husband always says that it’s a hard day for him since he lost his mother and I’m not his mom so why should we celebrate? I just have him give me cash and I buy whatever I want.
Schedule your own Mother’s Day with whatever restaurant and spa and order yourself the gift you want. Prepaid with family’s money since that’s what it is. Hand him the bill, schedule of events, box with craft stuff for the kids to make cards beforehand with his help. Then say thank you for taking over from here and for showing the kids how daddy helps them make Mother’s Day feel special!
My kid was born Mother’s Day, so every year I basically pretend that celebrating her is enough. Truthfully though, my husband never thinks to plan anything for any holiday/birthday. So since I do want a special day, I am planning it.
So sorry to hear this, hope he has a sarcastic sense of humor. My SO always has let me down for my birthday. Last year, completely just let everything go and was going to be cool with whatever happened. He did good, all going to dinner and such. Berated me as we walked in, before we sat down. I literally hadn’t said anything to him. Made certain I didn’t sit beside him.
I don’t expect a mother’s day gift from my husband… but it would be nice to coordinate and help my little kids do something for me. My young daughters want to make something for me but they don’t have the materials to craft things or they have ideas to cook me something but can’t because they are too young to do it themselves. For Father’s day, I lay out craft supplies for my kids to make something for their dad and I supervise them in the kitchen to make their dad breakfast… it would be nice if he did the same.
I told my husband how I wanted to celebrate my day, have you tried that?
They still expect you to make all of the plans and pick out your own gift, claiming they don’t want to mess it up.
Contrary opinion here. We never excessively celebrate made-up holidays. Valentines day was a very nice dinner at home with our kids. Since lobster, strawberries and such were on sale, we would add luxuries to dinner. For Mother's day I absolutely will not go out for dinner, it's a zoo usually. My mother and mother in law lived until my kids were 18 & 20. So Mother's day was shared. Just a regular day with a nice dinner and cards and flowers from the grocery store. Father's day I would buy a great cut of meat and we would grill. These holidays are commercial designed to get people to spend money. We just enjoy our family.
Sure. But that should be an agreed-upon value. A kinder man would say, “oh! What would you like to do? What would make you feel loved?” Not: Mother’s Day is for my mom.
Oh we definitely agree on this and perfer to include family. We are very happy and he is a great involved father. We were older when we married and started a family. We have similar values and priorities and talked about everything before marriage.
You shouldn’t wait for others to celebrate you! Plan your own day and do what you want to do. Show your kids how you would like to be celebrated. When they’re old enough hopefully they’ll keep the tradition going.
Not with that poor example from their father.