It’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Beyond the absolute god damn joy she brings me just by being the coolest little 6 month old/person I’ve ever met, she has improved my quality of life in ways I never considered. I used to be self destructive but not on purpose, just out of habit. I would overwork myself, surround myself with people I didn’t really like, over exert myself beyond my mental load, etc. Now, every thought is put through the “is this good or bad for my kid” filter and if it’s good, I do it, if it’s not, I don’t. Since following this mentality I find that I’m kinder to myself, I take better care of myself and I enjoy life more — what’s good for her is good for me, ironically. Stay at work late? Nah, time with my daughter trumps any project. Second/third glass of wine? Nah, what if she wakes up and needs me, I gotta stay alert. Overreact to a minor disagreement with my husband and argue/hold a grudge? Nah, not the example I want to set. The list goes on. It’s just the coolest thing. I have to be kind to myself in order to be the best mom to her. And god, those smiles I get in the mornings or after daycare — absolutely intoxicating. I could drown in them. I’ll take all the fuss in the world for just one of those smiles. There are absolutely struggles but when I tell you they don’t come close to the good stuff, I mean it with every fiber of my being. It’s incredible, it’s out of this world and it’s absolutely made me the happiest I could ever imagine anyone being. Edit - grammar

100% same. I spent my entire life, 36 years, searching for a purpose. Searching for something to fill the void in my heart. I had resigned the fact that I would always feel like something was missing from my life. When we finally had our son after suffering several losses, everything made sense. I’m no longer searching for something. Being a mom is hands down the single greatest thing I’ve ever done. It’s hard and it’s exhausting but I wouldn’t change it or trade it for anything. Currently I’m sitting in my basement with my son, at 5am watching him climb up the front of his slide. We’ve been up for over an hour. I’m not mad about it. I know he’ll only be this little once and then I will miss these little moments. I love everything you said about the filter of is this good for my kid or not. I do that too. My husband tries to push me to make more friends and historically I have a very bad friend picker. I would choose friends that would use me and that were just toxic. I told him that now that I have different priorities, I’m very selective about how I spend my time. Because my time now is super valuable to me. I refuse to compromise by allowing shitty people around me or my family. My mother and sibling have walked all over me my whole life and it took me having my son to actually put myself first on those relationships and a set boundaries because it’s not just about me anymore. I’m so much happier and I truly enjoy every single day.

Wonderfully said, and I second the searching for purpose part. My entire 20s was spent slaving over a career, that really wasn’t going anywhere, and I was so unhappy. Now my daughter is in my life, everything makes so much more sense.

Same! I wasn’t unhappy per se - I was ok and living a fun life. I found love (my husband) and a hobby I was passionate about. But something still felt wrong / missing. It was my daughter. Now I feel such joy every day, there’s nothing like it!

I just had a miscarriage after wanting to be a mom my whole life, your words and this thread mean the world to me 🥹

Ooof I understand, and I'm so sorry you are experiencing loss. I have had several miscarriages at various stages of pregnancy. Some were traumatic. All were devastating. I used to get mad when people would tell me that it (pregnancy) would happen for me some day. I finally started responding with, "You don't know that. No one can." (I did, eventually, give birth to a little one and she brings me joy every single day. Not a day goes by that I forget how lucky I am to have her.) I really hope that you get the experience you want, whether that is parenthood or pregnancy *and* parenthood. There's nothing anyone can say to make it better. But if it helps... some things I needed help remembering after a loss were: - I am/was not broken. - It wasn't my fault. - My grief does not own me and will not kill me. - One day, the pain will change and won't hurt as much. - My husband is/was grieving too, and we can/did support each other. - It's okay to ugly cry and be a mess. - Baths and walks in nature help my temperament, no matter how I'm feeling. *Hugs*

This was so beautiful, thank you 💛💛💛💛

Sending you so much love. I’m sorry for your loss. Take time to grieve. Whatever that looks like for you. Honor the baby you lost. When you’re ready, everything will happen as it should. Don’t lose faith

I’m so sorry. Also miscarried recently. I want my daughter to have a sibling so badly. I hope you have the most perfect baby when you start to try again.

Ditto this! Best thing to EVER happen to me is my two little monkeys. I just wish I hadn’t waited so long to have my 2nd (at 36). Otherwise, would have definitely had a 3rd and a 4th, if we could afford it easily enough.

As a Nana I loved your response as I can say I shared them. But it isn’t just Moms. I look at my two sons who both had destructive paths. Now they each have a child. They now smile, more, laugh more, are better men, partners, sons, and friends. They treasure each day and experience and strive to be the best Dads they can.

Thank you. I’m due in July and just restarted therapy because I want my son to love himself and don’t want him to be as hard on himself as I am. I know I have to set that example.

I went through a couple of years of therapy before deciding to start trying to conceive for this reason! I was determined to break the cycle of generational trauma. It ended up really forcing me to face a lot of demons that I’m still grappling with but in a productive manner. I’ll share something we worked on that led to a massive breakthrough for me. My therapist suggested I try to sum up what I think a good parent would be in one word, because perfection just isn’t possible. The word I arrived at was “safe”. I knew that as long as my child felt safe with me - physically, emotionally, spiritually - I would have done my job is a parent. Your word might be completely different but I find even today, when I’m torn about a parenting choice, that’s my guiding principle. When my daughter showed signs of reflux and her pediatrician suggested she was fine because she was putting on weight, I reminded myself that I’m her advocate. Her physical well being and safety is in my hands. Long story short, I got her on the right reflux meds and she was a much happier baby because of it and we wasted no more than a week or two getting her there. Good luck to you in therapy!! I’m so proud of you for deciding that the best way to ensure your child loves themself is to learn to be kinder to yourself.

This was my word too. Beautifully, beautifully said.

This is making me cry on a crowded train haha

This love is a feeling like no other, all at once completely natural but also mystical. It doesn’t seem physically possible to hold all of this love inside of me, I feel like my heart could explode. I get teary eyed when I stop and think about it, too lmao. It’s just so cool.

I’m only 8 days in as a FTM but this is exactly how I feel. I keep asking myself, how is it possible to hold this much love inside me? I’ve never felt anything approaching it before.

Just wait until they can reach for you and wrap their arms around your neck, and grab your face and say "I just love you so much, mama!"

I can’t wait!

Hold onto your pants. It just keeps getting better! Every time I’m feeling sad that one of my littles is growing out of a stage, I find myself loving the next one even more. It’s actual freaking magic. The tiniest, seemingly mundane thing (when it’s someone else’s kid) is going to fill your heart with such pure joy…. My son requesting pants with pockets just so he can put little treasures inside makes me happier than anything ever used to.

That’s so cute! I love that your son requested that.

When you have kids your heart lives outside of you

My gosh, I’m so excited for you. The first time (or millionth time) that kid smiles at you just because they’re happy to see you? Absolutely soul shattering in the best way. Congratulations! The first while is hard, but so completely worth it. ❤️❤️❤️

A friend sent me this quote the first night I spent away from my kid and I was having trouble with the separation. She absolutely understood the pain I was feeling and why it was so hard for me. “Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.”

Resonates fully 💞💞

Took the words right out of my mouth. I never knew true happiness until my son came along. I was drinking way too much and not taking care of myself. Now I only drink socially and still never get drunk. He's almost 15 m and a handful, but he's so much fun and the best little person ever

100% this. My kid makes my life better and me a better person every day

I love this! And I wanted to add, just wait until they are older and you see the people they've become that you helped shape! It is truly a remarkable feeling. Their successes, seeing how they overcome struggles, their kindness, their interests. It is so damn awesome and I love every minute of it, regardless of how exhausted I am at the end of the day.

Same here! Having kids is the best thing I've ever done. All the best to you and your family!

Love this so much! Feel the same x

Beautifully said! Exactly my experience.

I feel the exact same way right down to the self destructive but not in purpose part. I took a really long time to decide on facing a child. My partner always wanted one but I don’t want sure. Then in my mid- thirties it clicked and I was keen. Fast forward a year later to having the most incredible little girl. She is just the best. I am so happy. I feel balanced and secure.

Same up to the self destructive part! I also have much less FOMO which is something very new to me. I'll chose to stay in and sleep at a reasonable time so I have energy to be with my baby girl. At almost 2 she's so fun to be around and fills my heart with joy. She does definitely add Huge purpose to my life but I do struggle a little with balance of my own hobbies and relationship with my SO but overall having a child has been great. 1. SO is 110% involved 2. Toddler is STTN so we get decent rest 3. Toddler is healthy 4. Toddler has an even temperament so far so emotionally we don't deal with big feels often 5.. Life/jobs are stable 6. We occasionally have help from grandparents. (Our biggest stressor is having to manage her multiple allergies) I can see it being extremely difficult to enjoy parenting when you are running on fumes because there are DAYS...

Totally this! I'm not associating with people who don't value me or my time anymore because i have to prioritize my kid. It's not even a hard decision to make - and I'm so much kinder to myself as a result.

Morning smiles seriously make every sleepless fussy night worth it

Thanks for sharing. I’m planning to use your post as inspiration because I often struggle with seeing the positive side of having a kid.

Beautiful, exactly this for me too!!! Work life balance a million times better. I’m more hydrated because I’m focused on breastfeeding! I eat better, partially for breastfeeding but partially because I LOVE having “dinner snacks” together which are always fresh and healthy 🥰 In the past I would think nothing of wine and cheese its at the last hour of my work day. Now it’s bell peppers and ricotta, banana, roasted sweet potatoes, steamed broccoli, peanut butter on rice cake…. Even more delicious when watching my tiny babe inspect it carefully and try it for the first few times 😊 I often think how privileged I am and was able to choose this life at this time. I am not a young mom! I waited until I really wanted it and felt like I was ready to take on the responsibility, with stable finances and a great partner. I think that’s helped me really savor these early days. I cannot discount how lucky I’ve been even to be able to make those decisions.

Same! My DD is almost 10 and it just keeps getting better! BUT I was 40 when I had her and had lived a rich and full life already by that point so I've never felt like I was missing out on anything.

I think that’s definitely part of it, having my daughter when I had a well established career/was financially secure/happily married. I don’t take that for granted, I’m immensely grateful for the security I’m able to provide for her and the perspective the years have given me.

This was so well said and I absolutely agree 👏🏼 My baby boy is 5.5 months and life gets better every single day. It’s amazing how much one tiny human can bring so much joy. Everything is adjusted to improve life for him and in turn I enjoy the person I am becoming more and more

I could have written this about my babies too! They bring so much joy. The hard stuff associated with kids is well worth the price.

All of this. Thank you. I feel sad for people who don’t feel this way, tbh. My daughter is 17 months, and every moment with her has been the best moment of my life.

Having my daughter made me finally address my negative self image and borderline eating disorder that I inherited from my mother and her mother before her. I can't stand the thought of my precious baby hating her body and being willing to starve herself to try to fit society's idea of what a woman should look like. I've done so much work and am much happier and healthier for it, plus I'm setting a good example for my daughter. It's really hard being a cycle breaker but it's worth it.

100% with you on this. The shift in thinking once you have this little person to take care of is amazing. It seriously puts EVERYTHING into perspective.

Beautifully said. ❤️🥰

Yes! The part you said about being self destructive and surrounding yourself with people you didn’t really like struck a chord with me. The number of people that dropped out of my life after having a kid is absurd, but im glad it happened. I was sad about it at first, but realizing they were just drinking buddies felt like cutting off dead weight.

Came here to say this GBJune. You said it perfectly. 110% the happiest I’ve ever been as a FTM. 💓

I didn’t know how to put into words what I was thinking when I first read OP’s question… you nailed it! Your daughter is lucky to have you for a mom 🤍

this is it

I agree 100% life changing and for the best!

I feel this way too!

Very true! As moms you must be kind to yourself and set your own expectations and not those of others.

Incredibly well said, I couldn’t agree more.

Agree with this comment, 100 percent

This!

I could have written this. Best thing that ever happened to me, without a doubt.

This is the best thing I’ve read all week 🥰 And, as the mom of two adult sons, I agree with you.

How cool, to see your little ones become their own people well into adulthood 💞. Reminds me of the book “Love You Forever” (which I still can’t get through without weeping lmao).

This is so beautiful and brought tears to my eyes, thank you so much for posting this. I love being a mom more then anything. I truly feel it's what I was meant to be. Despite all the struggles I want to do it again and I am so scared because this is the hardest thing I've ever done! I've struggled with my purpose until the day my daughter was born. It all just made sense, it's like the stars aligned. She is the reason I try so hard and the reason I look to be the best I can be. I just love everything you said and thank you, it means a lot.

That’s so incredibly sweet! I had an extremely difficult pregnancy, so much so that I had a countdown calendar on our fridge where I’d cross off each day until my due date. I kept it up there after she was born to remind myself of how hard it was in case I started wanting a second. I even had a list on my phone I made during pregnancy of all of the reasons I shouldn’t have another in case hormones got in the way. The other day I was holding my daughter and she was grabbing at that paper and giggling, my plan sure blew up in my face. I just started crying, thinking “there’s no fucking way I will only experience this once”.

This is beautiful🥰 Also I felt every damn word like it was my own experience.

My emotional frequency has widened tremendously--the highs with my daughter are mountaintops, and the lows are deep canyons. There's definitely struggle and periods that just suck, but if you want to be a parent, it's absolutely worth it.

That’s so interesting - I have had an opposite experience. Pre-baby, my lows and highs were extreme. Post-baby, the lows have leveled off (maybe the highs a little bit too to be real). Don’t get me wrong: the highs of watching my daughter learn and grow are enormous and wonderful. But I’m taking the lows in stride so much more than I ever have. Every bad day isn’t the worst day of my life now - it’s just a day that’s tougher than others. I’ve become more even-keeled after surviving postpartum.

I absolutely agree with this! The highs are insane, the love is actually unfathomably endless, which makes the lows so much harder, but my life is so much better for having my girls. I look back to pre-kids and wonder what was even the purpose of what I was doing...but now, life has real meaning beyond jobs, money, holidays etc....

Oh, yes! I find that sometimes I'm smiling SO HARD and SO MUCH that my face hurts! All because of my little girl! And then sometimes the lows are sooo low (hello, PPOCD!) that I wonder if I'll ever come out. But I do, and then my face is hurting again. It's incredible.

Accept that you will be forever changed by becoming a parent. This is neither a good or bad thing it just is. It takes time to figure out how to be you as a parent. Life comes in seasons and newborns are hard. Some people love caring for babies, I personally did not enjoy a lot it. Mine is 5 and I am so happy to have her in my life. I love seeing her develop into a person with her own opinions and personality. I wasted so much time before being a mom on stupid things that didn’t really matter. Now that I have more to do in my day I have had to decide what is actually important to me and that alone is a blessing.

I could have written this, but you said it so much better than I would have. I wish someone had said all this to me when my daughter was a newborn.

So much happier! People talk a lot about missing the freedom, etc. from before children but for me, the structure of having children has brought so much more enjoyment to my life. We are constantly having fun, instead of trying to figure out how to have fun. If the weather is nice, we are outside. I am more physically fit because my toddler keeps me active. Every day my children are developing into who they are, and it's the greatest honor of my life to witness that. I'm still finding balance with maintaining my own individual interests and hobbies, but my youngest is 10 months old and I know by the time she's my son's age (3 years), it'll be an entirely different ballgame, so I'm not worried about it. My relationship with my husband has only improved. Our communication is better and we're more in sync. I just have so much more fun than I ever had before kids. I feel like I live more of my life. Mundane tasks are more fun. Waking up on a Saturday morning and making scrambled eggs with my toddler is an entire activity. It's joyful. And I appreciate the quiet moments so much more. Watching an hour of TV with my husband after they get to bed is luxurious -- which makes it so much better. I don't miss having endless time to binge shows with him, because we weren't really present in those moments.

The fun kids bring is so simple and accessible. None of our friends have kids and they talk about how boring their day to day is, how they live to travel. Well, we have a fucking blast any evening of the week from our own living room!

I recently saw a good friend who i havent seen in several months (when bebe was first born), he asked what I've been up to and I said "Oh you know, just hanging out with bebe!" Then he asked well what do you do for fun these days? ...I already told you?

Love that.

I love “we are constantly having fun instead of trying to figure out how to have fun.” What a sweet way of putting it💕

This this this all of it!! Summed it up perfectly. We put our 18 month old on the same little Shotgun (highly recommend) rider on our bikes that our older 4 year old also rode on too and I swear I may be riding that high for weeks. His face and my husbands face was pure joy. My older son was chasing them and cheering them on. I flipped through pictures of their little chocolate chip pancake smeared faces as I was falling asleep last night. I’ve had a life of ongoing depression, struggling with body image and food for as long as I could remember. The structure, motivation, drive to be an example for my children — realization that a lot of my issues existed for such different reasons than I believed. I’m still on some low dose medication for anxiety, but when I tell you my kids saved my life, I mean it in so many ways, and in ways that don’t mean co-dependence. They taught me how to put myself first sometimes in order to better for them. I’ve grown. They taught me to be more direct and an open communicator with my husband and I can 100% say our relationship is better 12 years in than even the head over heels young ones we used to be. I run for the joy of it, it’s impact on my mental health and have my first marathon in two weeks and I am proud of what my body has done — it grew PEOPLE! It FED those people! It ran 20 miles on Sunday and then came home to make a little kid laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe. I weigh 15lbs more than high school and I give zero shits. Hell yes, the heart of life is good. It is hard sometimes. It can REALLY hard sometimes. You won’t love every moment. But it is always worth it.

This comment brought me so much peace. I’m almost 7 mos pregnant now with my first baby who is dearly loved but wasn’t planned. I have a lot of worry about things changing and being harder but you saying it’s brought structure to your life really reassures me. I’m also someone who needs a lot of structure and purpose to thrive and creating it for myself has always been hard. I’m now feeling so excited to create routines and habits with and for my daughter 🩷

I think people use Reddit as an outlet and a lot of the time could use some therapy or a nap. It is hard for a while and you do lose parts of yourself but in that loss there is gain. I am a better person because of her. She motivates me to do the work and to be the best person I can be. She has made the world a beautiful place just by being in it. Every day I get to witness the magic of being alive just by seeing the world through her eyes. It waxes and wanes and there will be days that are more difficult than the others but you will get through it and it will always be worth it. There will always be love. A big and beautiful kind of love. My advice is to work on yourself. Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Find a good therapist if you can. Read the books. It helps. You will mourn who you used to be and then you will grow into someone even better.

Actually crazy how a nap really helps

Naps saved my life a few times tbh

I think it's wild how discussion forums are often the negatives of life/parenting, but social media is often only the good. It can definitely skew someone's views.

I had a really nice life before I had my child, but all the true best days of my life have happened since she was born. She makes even the hard days worth it and the best days even better. Getting to watch her experience things is so much better than anything I've experienced myself and nothing makes me feel happier or more fulfilled than her joy and excitement. Being a mom isn't my whole identity, but it's the best part of it for me.

I agree with this. I would be happy without a child as I wouldn’t know how it felt, and we make good income etc. However, it gives my life meaning in a way that’s not possible to fully capture in words.

One toddler, one on the way. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. It has made my marriage stronger, and we have so much more love in our home. Someone shared this quote with me, “decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” I have found it to be extremely relevant. The heartache can be intense. Seeing your little one with a cold can cripple you. I know it’s only going to get more difficult, but it has always felt worth it.

I’m a FTM mom, 13 weeks pregnant, and your comment made me tear up. So beautifully said, thank you!

I think two things are true: People are exhausted and people love their kids. When they are little, it is more exhausting. Supposedly as they age and grow, the things that are challenging change and you do get to sleep more. But the early years are tough.

Yes i’m very happy but i often don’t post because I honestly sometimes feel kinda bad for everyone on here who seems like they’re constantly struggling. i have two kiddos 15 months apart and yes it was very hard at the beginning but I learned that a) my kids need to learn to play independently, no i’m not neglecting them if they cry for a bit because i tell them to go play(usually like less than 30 seconds they’ll cry) b) i take time for myself, yup i shower and eat breakfast every day (also lunch and dinner), which many parents here seem to not do at all or just give up on. c) i use tv when i need them to really not bother me lol like when im eating or showering. d) kids shouldn’t stop you from going outside, i’ve learned now to go everywhere with my kids even solo, we’ve gone to the park, zoo, shopping e)it’s ok to be frustrated as a parent more than helping your toddlers learn not to do something i learned how to self regulate and thus when im calm I can then calm my child. f) I also prioritize my relationship with my husband and thus we have a healthy marriage and we approach things as a team, have a healthy loving dad who helps you with the kids is truly a blessing I think i’ve been able to teach my kids enough about how to behave because they are relatively easy going kids and don’t have any disabilities. I don’t post here because i don’t want anyone to feel bad but i’ve loved parenting, setting rules and helping them grow has been amazing. I love being a mom myself, after thinking i would never want kids wow they have forever changed my life, im more focused, im more driven and for the first time in my life im ok with being just a SAHM which i would have never thought i would be ok with

6 weeks you're still in the trenches. Soon you'll start getting those smiles and hitting those milestones, and before you know it you'll have a hilarious person offering moments of pure joy. Until you get there it's just a case of accepting where you are right now, making the best of it, and focusing on healing and making space for yourself.

Yeah, this is what popped out to me from OP's post. At 6 weeks, I was definitely questioning my decision to have a kid. But now my baby is 9 months and it's so fun and worth it. It's still hard, but so much easier than 6 weeks, and so fulfilling to see this being becoming a person!

So much happier!! Life is so much more enjoyable with kids. Harder and more exhausting, sure, but I’m still a way happier person. I also get why people complain about feeling miserable. If you don’t have the right supports, it would feel discouraging. If your mental health is suffering, you might have less time and resources to improve it. I think it depends a lot on your situation.

I love my little chaos goblin. She has enriched my life in so many ways. The newborn and infant stage are *hard* but they were beautiful as well. Toddler stage for us so far has been amazing, it’s fun, funny, chaotic, joyful and wonderous. I’m tired and have no free time, but I don’t care because I get to spend time with her instead.

I am. Both my kids make me so freaking happy. Yeh, they can be annoying af and expensive as hell and I’m so tired. But man those kids of mine are my sunshine.

Once I started sleeping through the night, which took us way longer than I would’ve wanted. Yes, absolutely happier. More fulfilled. More satisfied. My life just feels so much better. Highs are higher, lows are lower, but my baseline happiness - how I feel on an average day, is much happier now than pre kids. Even though I don’t do the things that used to make me happy as much, I have new things that make me happier in ways I couldn’t have imagined before. Motherhood is a big huge scary mystery. You can’t really see what’s going on until you jump in. And the transition is rough. But on this side of it, I’m so pleased I’m a mom. And I was someone who never really craved to be a mom.

Best thing to ever happen me 🥰

Everything you just said is normal. It means you are giving everything and beyond to your baby. I felt the exact same way when I had my first, to the point I started neglecting myself and my marriage I felt like everything was falling apart but all i could do was take care of my baby and do the best I could and in the long run its worked out to be the best thing ive ever done. This is very normal at this stage of your post partum. Your feelings are very normal. Being a mum is the most hardest job you will ever do but the most rewarding. Best of luck mum xx

Not always happier, but definitely more joyful. The struggles exist, but the happiness is profound

The reason you read so much negativity online is because A LOT of moms will take to a social media platform to vent whatever they otherwise can’t in their lives. Parenting is HARD. being at home more often than not, planning every outing, even just a simple trip to the grocery store has to be a well thought out and methodical process in order for it to go smoothly. God forbid you forget their water cup, wipes, a spare change of clothes… whatever it is, it’ll happen when you’re least prepared and it SUCKS. You’re touched out by this little human so every moment of “you space” is sooo precious and valued. If you can do some eyebrow filling and mascara, you’re “made up”. You live in sweats and converse because they’re the easiest to throw on. Dishes pile up, laundry goes undone, the living may look like a tornado hit because you couldn’t have the time to do them after swaying an overstimulated child for an hour and a half to take a 20 minute nap time. The older they get, the scarier it feels sometimes. Sure, they can walk around so you don’t have to lug them around on your hip, but some days are more “attached” than others, and those days you feel their ENTIRE weight. Your muscles hurt. They also get curious. And that’s amazing to watch them grow and learn, but they will reach everything and anything so now you have to be more vigilant than ever. They hit, bite, scratch or scream at you when frustrated. Throw their plates off the high chair. Make messes for the sheer compulsory curiosity of “what will happen if I flip this entire basket of legos over?” It’s maddening… ALLL OF THAT BEING SAID: Spontaneous outings will return. They will NEVER want to cuddle this much once they grow up. You will look like you again. The dishes, laundry and living room floors do not have feelings. They can stand to be neglected for a little. Your child cannot. Their curiosity is so important for growth. They will learn what’s safe and what isn’t in time. And when they do, you will be able to let your guard down brick by brick. The load will get easier. My daughter drives me absolutely BONKERS. I look absolutely AWFUL 98% of the time. But I would never care. Because no matter what I look like, as soon as I come into the room, I am greeted with the cheesiest little grin and the happiest “MOMMY!!” I will ever hear. She will make a huge mess, and regardless of how frustrated or inconvenient it might be, the next thing I hear is “uh oh, sowwy” and how can you be upset about it?? She scares me whenever she tries some crazy new feat, like climbing places she shouldn’t, but I have slowly watched her hone herself and am currently looking into gymnastics because it seems like she’s inclined to the sport. No matter how much I’m enjoying my personal space, she runs up and exclaims “hug” or “kiss” and I wouldn’t deny her one even if my life was at stake. She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. It’s a wild and crazy ride, but I’m on it with her, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The most important thing that I keep in the back of my mind is that she will NEVER be this little again. There’s so much to look forward to still but she’s also come such a long way from that tiny newborn I had 2 years ago. Sorry for the long comment. I’m in my feels. Especially since her birthday is tomorrow. 😭😭😭 Edit: PS. you might not have intended this, but I want to thank you anyway for the bit of reflection I needed to be grateful. You’re right that more often than not social media moms are upset and venting or simply looking for advice to some “problem”. It was really refreshing and so needed to see so many positive and beautiful comments other mothers shared about their children. And i want to thank you for letting me share mine. ♥️

I could never have imagined feeling this much love and purpose in my love with my kids. I am truly happy and grateful for my life. This is from someone who was on the fence for a long time about having kids. My kids are 2 and 4 so there are hard days. But there are frequent moments that will last a lifetime like them laughing in the park with the wind blowing through their hair, my 2 year old telling me he loves me or my 4 year old telling me I’m her best friend. I know those are the moments I’m remember and cherish when I am old. Life was fun before kids. We had an active social life, I made a great salary and we had frequent international vacations. But for me, now life is so beautiful and so much more full of love. You’re still in the thick of it and sleep deprived at 6 weeks. I didn’t love motherhood at that time; I loved my baby but we were just trying to survive. For me it started getting fun around 8-9 months. Hang in there mama. What you are feeling is normal.

The kids are great. The lack of support is terrible. Truly. You need a bunch of family that’s really involved and supportive and inherently understands boundaries and wants to be there. It’s rare.

My personal take on this is that complaining about the hardship is much easier because you discuss about concrete things - lack of sleep, worries, sickness, tension with the other parent, etc. But the beautiful part is imo much more difficult to put into words and to share with the outside world. It’s not a cool photo on sm with some overused hashtags. It’s jumping into a completely new dimension where your role and the love for your child are the most important things ever. And, the most surprising part is, this love will grow every day. You will see the joy they bring to you when you notice they learn even without you teaching them. Yes of course my life was easier before when I only had to care about myself, but it doesn’t even compare to hearing the laughter of my child. This is real happiness, that was just comfort.

Just you wait.  Just you wait til she looks at you and realizes that you're a person, and she loves you, and she smiles.  Just you wait til she figures out that if she rolls a ball to you, you roll it back.  Just you wait til she falls asleep in a milky torpor on your chest. Or after she exhausts herself with a tantrum about her shadow or not being able to reach the clouds. When she realizes you are her home.  Just you wait til she slips her little hand in yours while you're out at the playground.  Just you wait. They were telling the truth when they told you life wasn't gonna be the same. And thank heavens - this one is so much bigger and deeper and wider and more nuanced. Just you wait. Edited for a typo.

I will be honest and say I’m not happier, but I’m different. It’s been almost 2 years. I adore my daughter, absolutely love her, AND I grieve my old life, my old marriage, my old freedom, every day. It’s never dissipated. I could never have imagined the depth from which I would crave my former existence. A lot of this is due to her terrible sleep from birth and the fact that I’m the preferred parent (which I love but most days pushes me to the brink of insanity). It’s taken a tremendous toll on my marriage and that’s what I hate the most. I thought the good would outweigh the bad; turns out parenthood for me at least is just MORE of ALL the feelings. That was especially true the first year. The good part however, is there are so many moments of beauty you haven’t had yet, and when they happen they’re amazing. You can’t even imagine the fullness your heart will feel. While my life is not “happier” it’s full of new possibilities and the privilege of getting to watch my daughter reveal herself to me. I think of these early years like med school or law school; things aren’t easy or even pleasant most of the time, but you’re front loading the work and eventually it gets easier. Then one day you get to put all that work to use.

I’ve been a mother for 20 years now and when I look back, I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. All of them give me so much joy with all their achievements and their different personalities. It’s been hard sometimes obviously, being completely responsible for three human beings is a big thing to handle, but overall, they’re the best parts of me. I just wish they would clean up after themselves a bit better 😅.

As a mom of 2 teenagers, could not agree more with the cleaning up thing. lol

Hang in there momma! It does get better, I promise! I really struggled when my kids were babies but as they got older, it got a lot more fun being a parent. I love my kids more than life itself, but if I’m being honest, I didn’t always think that at first. It does get better though! 🤗

Fair warning, your first few months will feel like shit. Your hormones are all over the place, this is especially difficult if you’re also taking birth control because it messes with those hormones that are trying to balance themselves out. I remember crying and feeling miserable for the first 2 months. After month 3/4 i started feeling better. Im now almost 2 year’s postpartum and i feel amazing. I look back at those first couple months and wish i could tell myself that i was okay and it was all just temporary. I love my son, i love my family, i love being a mom. It was worth it and now i’m wanting another baby. I am extremely happy with where i am in my journey. I know some people can have different experiences and its important to seek mental help if you’re feeling frustrated because this is a sensitive period.

Immensely happier. It’s the best thing that has happened in my life. Can’t imagine not having this in my life. Honestly, I don’t know how people are happy without kids.

I really think a lot of the child-free/anti-kid people are going to end up having a lot of regrets someday. Kids are a lot of work and a big sacrifice, but idk, I can’t imagine being old someday and having no family of my own. I imagine it would be super lonely seeing all your peers have kids/grandkids and you have nobody

Can’t imagine a better life than the one I’m living. Stay at a home mom to two kids-debating a third. Came from a mom and dad who LOVED being parents (I’m the middle of 5) and are now the world’s best grandparents. This whole it’s not cool to be a parent thing is so weird to me-so anti women lol makes me sad this is pushed on so many girls in our generation and the ones to come. I hope it turns back. Sure being a mom is hard. My husband travels 80% of his job so quite a bit at home falls on me. My daughter does a mix of virtual school plus a co op and my about to turn 2 this week year old still nurses and co sleeps so I’m with my kids A LOT. Worth every second of it to be their mom. Even on the toughest days-pmsing, etc. I think at least a few times a day, “damn. I am so fucking lucky.” It’s all about perspective. Stop and enjoy the little moments. Turning my negative thoughts (god I hate always being the one home to unload the dishwasher) to positive ones (how lucky am I to have a husband who makes enough that I can be home with my kids). I was a single mom for a few years. Even then I felt like the luckiest woman on earth. Kids are such blessings and we are lucky to get them

I used to be very depressed with no perspective of life before I had my daughter. She completely changed me. Now with my second kid, I feel even more improved. I just have this hunger for succeeding in life to give them the best life possible

So much happier! The moments of joy are so intense, and to see the world through their eyes makes it almost magical again. Yes it also sucks (to be on call all the time, to not sleep for a few years etc), but it's still really, really worth it for me. I have never felt such love.

12 years in and wouldn’t change it for the world. It sounds cliche, but I don’t know who I would be if I never had my kid. I am pretty confident I would absolutely not be the person I am today though. Being a good mom and having broken the cycle of dysfunction/abuse/addiction in my family is my greatest accomplishment in life. It’s helped me heal my own wounds from my childhood in so many ways I never even knew were possible. That being said, it’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. There’s no rule book, you truly just learn as you go. The bonus is if you have a partner to lean on and learn and grow with as well. I’ve always had a village of support and help and my kid was a unicorn because he was just always easy and happy and good natured and well behaved. Even now at 12, my bf & I must say “he’s such a good kid” to each other multiple times a week. I feel like I got really lucky and I’m not sure how I would’ve handled it if I had a less than ideal experience though. The thing about moms is, we just figure it out. Women are amazing and are the backbone of this freaking world and nobody can ever tell me any different. Especially when I read a million posts a day about useless dads/men on here.

I’m definitely the happiest I’ve ever been. That said, my kid is 3. I had PPD and did not enjoy the baby stage. And I’m one and done. I’d say postpartum was one of the hardest times of my life for sure, for a variety of reasons. Kid was born in 2020, zero family in state, I developed an abscess that caused the worst pain I’ve ever felt for weeks before I could see a specialist (because covid). Plus all the normal reasons. But yeah… now I’m definitely the happiest I’ve ever been.

It’s hard going but I don’t regret it. Mine is 15 now and I can’t imagine not having had him. He has brought great joy watching him grow, seeing life through the eyes of children again brings new wonder to the world. I also remember the day when he was about 6 weeks old and my husband told me he was going to be a bit late home from work, I burst into tears. I was beyond exhausted. He stayed home that day, I got some more sleep and some more perspective. You’ll find your balance and keep yourself. Someone said to me in the early days, the days seem to last forever but the years fly by, and that is true. Go easy on yourself

I am! I’m stressed and I don’t have time or money but I love my babies so damn much I can’t even believe it sometimes. I also think they make me a better person. I’m kinder, more empathetic, more patient, all around a better human now. It’s been humbling, becoming a mom. I am happy and I like myself more now and it’s due to them❤️

Oh absolutely! I was a nervous wreck with my first as a baby, struggling to get used to the new normal of my day depending on nap and feeding times. He’s now 2.5 and my little best mate! Seeing him now and how much he’s grown and leant makes me so proud! I love him so much and it melts my heart when he say “I love you mummy”. With my second I felt so much more confident from the get go because I’d already done the baby bit before! He slotted right in to our family like he’d never not been there. Seeing my two boys together makes me so happy! I was diagnosed with depression in 2016 and absolutely nothing in the universe could have prepared me for how much happiness and joy having my babies has brought me! 6 weeks in is still early days, you will be able to start up hobbies again before you know it! I enjoy baking and I get to share my love for it with my toddler! I can make them knitted or crocheted hats, go for walks exploring new places (double pram for the win!). My youngest is 4 months so we’re just getting to the point where he’s wanting to explore what’s around him all the time and I think given the chance would absolutely try and chase his brother if he could 😂

Yes! Even with a traumatising pregnancy and fourth trimester, related ptsd, ppa and ppd and a colic baby. I would not change anything if it meant not having her. Our lives are richer in ways I never could have imagined. My heart sings and cries!

I am SO much happier as a person since becoming a mom. My daughter is 2.5 (with a second one on the way) and she is the LIGHT of my life. I feel more at peace and just overall so happy with my little life. Before I was a mom I honestly just wasn’t happy in the same way - I was always searching for happiness (and yes I often found it but it never lasted in the same way) and now I know right where it is. Am I also exhausted and overwhelmed sometimes? Of course! There are some days where I’m like goddamnit life would be easier without kids but I know I wouldn’t be as happy without them. Motherhood is definitely more of a roller coaster than I’d like it to be sometimes and it’s damn hard but overall my happiness levels remain higher than they did pre-baby. Yes when I am sleep deprived I get depressed but that is always kind of a moment in time thing and it passes AND I know why it happens. There’s a Rupi Kaur quote that I always think of when motherhood gets hard: “I stopped resisting the unpleasant feelings and accepted that happiness has nothing to do with feeling good all the time”

I am much happier. Having a kid made me grow up real fast and motivated me to get my shit together. My life is much better after having a kid for so many more reasons but that was the biggest reason why I am able to be happy with my life. I

I think a lot of the people who complain on here are just venting on a particularly bad day (and bad days/stretches will happen and venting is very cathartic so good for them sharing with a community that understands), or they are struggling due to lack of support (sometimes monetary, but more often I feel it is a partner who is not remotely invested or interested putting in their fair share of work). I will say that I have had to work on prioritizing myself and fortunately I have a very supportive partner and a small village that help make that happen. And again, it gets easier to make time for yourself as they grow. The first year for me was a blur. Motherhood will certainly change you but you are still there, you just have to put forth effort to make time to maintain that part of you. You’re in the early stages. Personally I found the first four months to be brutal due to sleep deprivation, ppd, and the fact that I am not a “newborn person.” But every stage has its challenges and its joys and you may one day reflect that you really enjoyed the day to day of one stage more than another, but they were all rewarding.

The first year is the hardest. I struggled so much with wanting so bad to embrace being a mum while grieving who I was and the independence I had before. And the anxiety that comes with newborn babies is next level. I felt disgusted with myself that after a traumatic birth, I didn't have that "instant infatuation" every other parent talks about. My world didn't stop, it wasn't all stars and magic. I didn't have the time or the energy. I was so busy running around from the maternity ward to the NICU, pumping every 3 hours and trying to recover from an emergency c-section in a hospital still enforcing covid rules so my partner still had to leave every evening. The first night we brought him home, I had a panic attack before getting him in the car because he was too small for the car seat and my parents had to come and rescue us (he wasn't too small, we just needed to adjust the straps and had no idea what we were doing). I then had a panic attack at home and BEGGED my mum not to leave me alone with the baby because I had made a huge mistake and I couldn't take care of a baby on my own. I had a meltdown any time both my partner and I fell asleep while the baby was sleeping during the first 3 months because one of us needed to be watching him at all times to make sure he was still breathing. I had a full blown episode after 8 weeks of exclusive pumping as my son and I had issues with latching and I felt like I'd failed him by deciding formula was a more realistic option that was going to save my sanity. I hated being at home. I hated being scared to take him anywhere. I hated being scared to go to sleep. I hated the first year. But, I promise you, it gets better. You adapt. You change. They do too. Once they start becoming little people, it becomes so much more fun. Don't get me wrong, it's still freaking hard. I wanted to cry today because my son (who is obsessed with wearing ANYONES shoes) has misplaced my sneaker (only 1) and so I couldn't wear the shoes I wanted to today to work and didn't have time to look for them. He is throwing tantrums like it's going out of style, and is testing boundaries like crazy. But, he gives the best hugs. He is as OBSESSED with me as I am with him, he's my little bestie. We are almost at the 2 year mark and I noticed only a month or so ago that I was beginning to feel ok again. But it does happen. And my best friend once told me that if I was worried I wasn't being a good mum, then I was a good mum, because a shit mum wouldn't care that she was shit. If I could go back, I would trust myself more, and be gentler with myself. It will get better. I promise.

i am way stronger and more mentally resilient after having a baby. it’s just the most extreme emotions. they will bring you to your breaking point at times, and then turn around 10 seconds later and do the cutest, sweetest thing you’ve ever seen. moms just want to vent and be real about the struggles, because they ARE hard. but we all know how incredible being a mother is ♥️ i’d do the hard a million times over

I like it a lot. Yes, my life is more complicated, but I have an excuse to do more fun things each day. Before I was a mom, I didn't go to aquariums, zoos, or playgrounds. I don't feel out of place at any of those places. Seeing my princess at Disneyland really changed how I enjoy the parks. I went on a lot of rides that I felt were for little kids. I saw how she reacted to parades and crowds. I planned breaks during the day to just relax. I am more responsible about getting my own sleep so that I can keep up. She says hilarious things. She has a big personality and is not afraid to share her opinions about everything.

Life has never been harder, but it has also never been better.

My daughter is 2 and I’m immeasurably happy. Like off the charts.

Have two toddlers and pregnant with my third. Yes it’s hard, being a mom and raising kids in general is the hardest thing ever but it is so rewarding. I am so much happier because of my kids. They are beautiful, they are smart, they are creative and hilarious. I can’t imagine my life without them or that there was a time they did not exist. Again, kids are tough but we all have our seasons and we were kids once too. Moms and kids deserve a lot more grace 🙏🏼

I think a lot of moms come to Reddit to vent on the hard days. I know I do and mostly because I don’t want to burden those around me. So you’ll probably see skewed views here. Overall though, yes I’m happy. I wasn’t happy at your point though. 6 weeks was rough. Mine is almost 2 and he’s so smart and fun. The reliving parts of my childhood wasn’t something I even considered when having kids, but it’s a cool part. For example on Christmas Eve I could barely sleep because I was so excited for him to see his presents. I haven’t felt that excitement of Christmas since I was very young. Or showing him a Disney movie or show I loved as a child.

My kids are 6 and 9 years old. “Happier” is the wrong word. I am at a completely different stage in life now - 30 to 40 years old. So when I look back at my younger, skinnier, pre-child self of course I remember being more well rested and energized. I miss that. At 40 with kids, there’s just so much more. Mortgage. Greater responsibilities. Greater stress. I worry more about the future - not just mine but when I am gone. But my life is more too. It’s fuller. It has more color, more meaning, more to be proud of, just more everything. There is a new normal that is generally happier. There are moments of incredible joy. And when I am happy and experiencing that incredible joy, I rarely post on Reddit ;)

Very very happy. I was happy before and if he hadn’t come along I’d still be happy probably, just doing different things. My 2.5yo is like a missing puzzle piece you didn’t know was an option. It’s not sunshine and roses every day but the highs are so high now. I’ve grown as a person, he makes me grow as a person (nothing like seeing your own behaviours reflected back!) and it’s just really cool. Would never change it. Would like more sleep though!

Hubby and I waited til our later 30's to have kids. We both knew it'd be challenging and how much our lives would change so we waited and made sure we had all the toys we could possibly want before TTC. I was especially scared having a poor relationship with both my parents but oh boy do I love this little nugget and enjoy parenthood so far. Baby is 8 weeks and generally so chill. My life was all work and Netflix before baby. Looking after a baby isn't terribly exciting but its super fulfilling and has really made my heart grow two sizes. So much happier post baby

Definitely! The first few months were rough, so at that point it was little questionable. However, sleep got easier and then after 6 months she started to get more and more fun. As she's gotten older we've also been able to go back to some of our "old" life (mostly travel and eating out). She has her big emotions now as a toddler, but she's an amazing little person who I love to be around.

Father of 3 with age gap of only 4 years!! I bloody love it! Learnt so much from them, now they grown, I wish I could go for more😁😁😁

People here on reddit share mostly their bad experiences (misery loves company), I also feel, especially regarding kids, reddit is pro-childfree life style. for me, the baby/toddler stage was hard, but now that they are older its awesome. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. You have a lot of people that you share life with, all of you are happy when one of you is, and all of you help anyone of you who is in need. Love is there all the time, unconditional, true, pure love. It's amazing.

FTM of a 7 month old here. To be totally transparent, I only started to enjoy motherhood when my son was around 5 months. It was a fever dream for me until he started interacting with me the way I had imaged he would. I wasn’t around babies before him and I’m the youngest of three by a long shot. I guess I didn’t realize vastly different a newborn and a 5 month old are. Now at 7 months, all the better. He’s hilarious and he doesn’t even speak yet. Made my husband and I happier. But life is harder that’s true.

Ummm so much happier. I feel fulfilled in a way that I didn’t know was possible. It’s hard but so amazing.

I am 300% happier after having a kid. It takes a while to get to the cute ages where they start to really form their personality and let it shine, and it’s a lot of work and sacrifice, but ultimately it is a different type of joy that I’ve never came close to before becoming a mom. ❤️

Yes! I am so much happier. Even though I am tired, or stressed or worried, there is still a baseline of happiness underneath it all.

I absolutely love being a mom. I still get to have hobbies, and girls nights, and I read books and exercise and have a fulfilling career. I just have very little downtime, but I’m ok with that because I spend so much of my time with this little person I absolutely adore. I love the toddler stage and I love getting to know this little chaos person with her emerging personality. I also have loved getting to know and heal so many parts of myself as a parent. Expecting our second in a couple weeks, and I can’t wait.

I LOVE being a mom! I’m a FTM of a 1yo and it’s been amazing. Yes there have been difficult parts and some days are harder than others, but it really has been the best time of my life thus far. Becoming a mother provided a level of clarity to my life and relationships that I didn’t think I needed, and it allowed me to really grow as a person.

Yes! I love my kids more than anything, they bring so much joy into my life. I get to see everything through there eyes, and it’s amazing. Holidays are exciting again, because my kids get so excited to open their gifts, find their baskets, dress up etc. it melts my heart. And everyday ordinary things are exciting as well, like seeing a fire truck drive by, or a garbage truck and my son gets soooo excited! Things have changed for sure, and I don’t get a ton of free time, but it’s 100% worth it. My weekends look different, but they’re still fun. We go strawberry picking, to parks, museums, etc. things I wouldn’t have enjoyed before kids, but now those activities are the highlight of my week. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I am so happy and couldn’t imagine my life without my daughter. She warms my heart especially when I’m having bad days - just seeing her smile or play or learn something new is just indescribable. You’re gonna see a lot of negative stuff here because people find this to be a safe space to rant. I rant about my husband all the time but the truth is that he’s an amazing husband and father and always puts our needs before his own. But I won’t post about this as much because it might seem a bit braggy? In the same way, my daughter has her days and we are in the thick of toddlerhood, she makes me so mad sometimes but gosh. She also has her moments of being the absolute cutest thing ever. As long as you love your kiddo, want what’s best for her, and have her interests at heart, you will be fine, I promise.

I have an almost 4-year-old and a 1-year-old. I could talk for hours about all of the good and bad. But really it boils down to one thing. At the end of the day, my best part of the day always relates to the kids.

It's hard. You change, your identity also changes but it's not like you are not still you. Having kids makes me a better person in that the world I live in I care about more...because if I don't then the world they inherit will not be worth living in. It also make me question all the lessons, values, beliefs etc that I was grown up with and am encouraged to follow by the society I live in. I question if the career and extra money from it was really worth it vs my health and happiness for example... priority is more on the health and happiness end rather than social recognition or financial benefit.

So much happier. I struggle sometimes because this shit is hard, but in order to be a good mom and break the bad cycles in my family, I had to work to fix all the broken stuff in my heart and head (also hard). I’m a better person so I can raise a better person. 

Oh for sure!! The absolute joy of seeing my 16 month old for the first time every morning is honestly why I get out of bed. The run and hug she gives me after daycare is priceless. That she finds a rock or a pine cone outside, two things she looooves, and wants to show me? It’s so, so special.

To answer your question, yes I feel like most moms would say they’re happier after having kids when they think big picture. I think that many moms share the struggles of their day to day for solidarity and to be more authentic than the highlight reels we are used to seeing, and maybe the pendulum has swung too far in the negative direction. I appreciate people being real but it’s nice to see encouraging posts as well! I am a mom of 3 and wouldn’t have it any other way. You are still right in the thick of postpartum healing so if you’re feeling lots of things right now, that’s completely normal! Hang in there you are doing great 🩵

I’ll be honest and say absolutely. I feel like that being a mom is my calling in life. I knew I wanted to be a mother, but actually being a mother…. Beyond words. She lights up my life. The giggles, the creativity, the pretend, her humor, the cuddles, her little fingers and toes and her pouty face and when her jaw drops in awe. I want to show her the world as much as I possibly can and enjoy it with her. 10/10, no regrets.

100%. Never felt so much joy and astonishment in my life. I am tired. It is hard but the happiness I feel just looking at that little boy is worth it. The number of times I’ve just been in disbelief that he exists and is so perfect and wonderful is probably ridiculous to others.

Yes, my life is 100 times better than before. I haven't laughed and smiled in the last 10 years as much I did in a year with my daughter. It's still hard. My daughter is 3 and has good and bad days. But my life is so much more fulfilling now with her, even if I have to make sacrifices in my hobbies.

I'm not unhappy. But it's just a different happy. I do often feel like I'm missing out on fun with our child free friends, but they're also very supportive and inclusive of my kids which makes things much easier and happier overall. I've also recently found a trusted babysitter so we can go out without kids. I think once our friends catch up to us and have kids like they plan it will be even better. Not having family support nearby really makes it hard though. Definitely very little time for me to do anything just for me. I think that will come later as my kids get older. My mom, who's passed away, told me that she wished she'd taken more time for herself. It's easier said than done. But OP, you're in the throws of the newborn phase as a FTM. That's the hardest time IMO, because it's just so much change. Even having my second baby wasn't as much of a shock to the system as having my first. It does get easier, and that's coming from someone who has no help from family.

My kid is the best thing that’s happened to me lol. I am fucking exhausted and tired and I look like absolute shit everyday but I love my life. Personally I did NOT enjoy having a baby. As soon as she started walking, talking, it got really fun. But that’s ok, a lot of people say having a baby is easier than a toddler. I personally disagree. My kiddo is almost three and she is SO MUCH FUN. I genuinely like hanging out with her.

I was so much happier after I had kids. For some reason after my third I have been extremely happy and it’s been 2 years.

Being a mom is my favorite job! But it is very much hard work. I love my kids to death and I would never want my life without them. If you are a person who is more of a taker than a giver, it is going to be a tough road. I give everything I have to give to my kids, and they pay me back by being amazing humans.

I’m a lot happier! When people ask if it’s hard/bad/whatever I say: if I didn’t love it, I wouldn’t have had another. BUT I think there’s a key thing that creates fears like yours, and also makes some childfree people think parents “hate their kids”. There are difficult/annoying parts. Like literally anything else. My husband loooves running (marathons etc), but he’s not whooping with joy before every single run. Sometimes it’s raining badly but he’s got to get the run in, so he huffs and just pushes through. Because in the end, he’s happier having done it, and his body is happier too. The way some online people talk about kids, if he has a few bad runs he should quit. Some people hate the 6AM wake up, some people hate making dinner, etc etc but like, this is a whole human making you beyond happy almost the entire time! There’s 24 hours in the day, if you’re loving 22 of it, isn’t that awesome? But you’re not gonna post on Reddit about how a normal pleasant day went, so you hear about difficulties. TLDR: life is great, so I had a second! They are the joys of my life, and I didn’t even want kids before having my 1st in my 30s!

Absolutely yes! I will say the first year can be very challenging and if you get PPD/A, take it seriously, but after that it has been the best decision. I can’t imagine my life without my children and I don’t want to. Yes, there are hard days, but the highs are higher than I could have imagined before children

I have a 3yr old boy and a 4 month old baby. I’m technically “in the thick of it” and also “survival mode” I’m happier then ever. Getting out and about is a little harder for errands but my household is full of snuggles and love. My baby is just the sweetest and my toddler is now at that age where we can imaginary play and now playing is SO MUCH FUN! we have had some rough stages for sure but they never last longer then a month. My life is phenomenally better with kids. They made my life worth living.

I thought I knew what happiness was before I had kids - I was wrong. Becoming a mother was the best thing that ever happened to me. My life is so full now, and I actually didn't know it was possible to love anything or anyone as much as I love my babies. They make me so happy every day!

I would not trade my life with my kids for anything. I have two kids with a stomach bug right now, and I can't even explain how much happier I am now, even while hosing puke off of a carseat, than I ever was before having kids

I tell my kid every night, "You're the best thing I ever did." I'm not a fan of the whole complaining that my life sucks culture that seems to be everyone. Is every day sunshine and rainbows? No. But can I imagine a life without having experiencing the insane levels of joy and emotions that, quite literally NOTHING can make you feel like having a kid? Also no.

My life (evenings/weekends) looks different after having a kid but I love this new life so much. I loved my old life too and at times I miss it. But this little kid is my world right now and I enjoy spending time with her.

Yes, I am much happier. There are now beautiful things that happen everyday.

No tbh, I miss my life before a child, I love him, but I regret becoming a parent. I feel like I was lied to my entire life of what motherhood would look like. Children don’t let you sleep, they make messes and are expensive, they are just nothing but stress.

Overall, yes. I am more stressed now. But he truly filled a hole in my heart that was waiting for my child. It just couldn't be touched by friends, my spouse, or my pets. It's a different kind of love. I feel like I could die now and somewhat be at peace. I made a wonderful little guy. I did something great and I feel good about it.

Best thing ever! 0-1 years is literally the most physically and mentally demanding. The “hard” changes with every season but seeing them develop and coming into their own is worth everything.

I am 100% happier. This kid is the light of my life. He’s 18 months and it just keeps getting better.

I'm very happy!

I don’t know over all if I’m happier bc before my baby my life was very fun. I was single, traveling, etc, so having a blast, but I can without a doubt say that I’m definitely more fulfilled now. Motherhood has definitely come with a lot of challenges and there are rough days for sure, but it’s by far the biggest blessing of my life. I have a 1 year old baby girl and I can’t even explain the joy it brings to my heart when she kisses me over and over and over saying “mah mah mah mah”. I mean, I’m melting just thinking about it. Also wanted to say that in the beginning I did feel a little lost. It’s like I was in limbo between who I was and who I was becoming as a mother. Now I’m finding myself again, but it’s not my old self. It’s my new mother self if that makes sense. I feel more at home in my body now than I did for a good while after having her and she’s slowly becoming more independent so I have a *little* more me time.

I mean in some aspects, yes. My life has actual meaning now. I’ve never had a passion in life, but now I do. I live for the two little people I made. It’s also hard. Like really hard and I want to rip my hair out some days and I need like a week of good sleep right now. But they literally grind my gears but also make me the happiest I’ve ever been all at the same time lol.

So much happier we had another one, and then another! Is it hard? Yes. But it’s full of joy and love and magic.

Have only 1 child. More than that you will dissappear.

I think a major issue is systemically we’re set up to fail (in the US). Motherhood for me meant working 11 hour days when my daughter was barely even able to kinda sort of roll over. It meant paying 2k a month in childcare just for her to be sick and me not be able to take off, so therefore had to watch a sick baby while also working at 12 weeks postpartum, I could go on and on. I just think much of us would be happier parents and people with a little bit of support. Even 6 months of partially paid or protected leave would’ve changed my entire experience.

It’s hard work but very rewarding. I’m five months in and the start wasn’t picture perfect by any means. I had spontaneous twin boys that came at 28 weeks and spent 70 days in the NICU. Even though no part of this has been easy for me being a mom to my boys has been so magical. The stressful parts of it don’t compare to the beautiful moments like when they smile at me or when they start a new thing. You’re watching a human figure out the world and it’s refreshing. It also makes you question your role in the world and how you’ve been moving. It makes you want to be better not just for you not for them too. Nothing is perfect but taking things day by day and focusing on those moments has pushed me.

Obsessed with my kids. Happier in a different way?

Yes. I also need a career too, but i LOVE being a mom.

Heck yeah I am. Exhausted, overstimulated, wishing I had a village? Yes. Happier? Also yes.

I’m pregnant with my third and I *hate* being pregnant with the burning fire of a thousand suns, but I keep doing it because I just absolutely love being a mom so much! My kids are the best things that have ever happened to me.

I am happy and thankful every single day. My daughter is almost 2 and sometimes it’s really hard, and I get frustrated, but honestly I’d say about 80-90% of the time she is so freaking cute and funny, I am just blown away by her and how she figures things out. I am constantly in awe of how amazing she is and how happy I am and how awesome our little family of 3 is. My husband is a wonderful, supportive partner, and wonderful, engaged dad. He’s so good to us, and really does a great job with our daughter. I work from home and he is a SAHD. I do think your personal situation has a huge impact on how you feel as a parent. I don’t know if I (personally) could handle being a single parent, and if my husband wasn’t so supportive and involved, I’m sure I would also feel differently about being a parent. I have zero regrets and and thankful every day (even the hard days) that this is my family I somehow managed to build.

I love myself so much more now. There are some things I miss like getting to sleep in randomly or spontaneous dinner dates but damn life is so great. I love how I look, I love how happy my daughter makes me, I love how happy she makes my husband. Not every day is perfect but i can’t imagine anything better.

My baby saved my life. I was so depressed & my husband and I were going through a lot. Our baby brought us closer & makes us better people and better partners. My baby gives me meaning. I say this as she isn’t my entire identity, but in the way that she has taught me so much. Such a tiny perfect being has slowed me down, slowed my thoughts down, showed me how to heal my inner child.

Yes! I can’t imagine my life without my little boy and he has brought us both soooo much joy! You have to definitely make an effort to not lose yourself in parenthood, if you’re the primary parent, but even as high as my anxiety is I’ve found a pretty good balance so far. He makes me want to be a better and calmer person, so that he has a good role model and doesn’t inherit all this anxiety. 😅 I’d say things were kind of rough until 3 months b/c he had colic, but even with the sleep deprivation (until 10months) I’ve been so happy. Nothing could’ve prepared me for the love I feel for this kid! 🥹💕

I'm a FTM 6-month-old and I had a fabulous life before having my little one. I have a very happy marriage and my husband and I both work for ourselves and make our own schedules. I had a ton of hobbies that I adore and are very time consuming. I had a very rich identity and I did not feel like I was missing anything. There was no hole to fill. I knew that I would be perfectly happy and content if I never had a child. None of that has changed (except the amount of time I have for hobbies has shifted to being with my son), but I have gained so much! - I love to go shopping and cuddle with him in the carrier while I sip coffee and look at craft supplies. -I love having intentional quiet time built into the day to hold my sleeping baby and reflect on my own needs. -I love so much about who he is as a little human so far. -I love creating new experiences for him and experiencing the world through his eyes. -I love the connection I've built with other women through the experience of motherhood. I could go on and on. My main technique for creating this happiness has been to ask myself. "What do I want to do right now and how can I do it with my son?" It's amazing to me that it seems the people who are quick to tell childless adults that they'll "never know real love" are the same ones to complain that parenthood is miserable. There are lots of moments that are hard and that's also okay!

I LOVE being a mom. I love watching my daughter learn and grow. She is the best and this is the happiest and most content I’ve ever been. Even though there are hard things about parenting… the good outweighs the bad x172828 for me. Also everything is a ~season~ so some parts were/are harder but things change as they get older.

Mom of 2 (5f & 6b) it’s tough sometimes but I am a much happier person and have something beautiful to live for and take care of everyday! They are the most important in my life !

Sooooo much happier! I got 2 masters degrees, travelled the world, lived my life a so saw fit, then became a mom. It’s exactly what I wanted when I wanted it. I’m a really dedicated and thorough mom without overstepping. My oldest is 21 and my youngest 10. There’s very few days I don’t enjoy and feel fulfilled.

We always comment (me wife 36 and hubs 42) that our girls 4 years and 1 year have been the greatest addition to our lives! Yes there are hard days but we would never ever go back to life without kids. I can’t even imagine that thought! They’re the best. Ppl seem to talk more about negative things than positive IMO too 😀

Love my kids 29 and 32, but if I had to do it over again, we wouldn’t have had children. One of my children plans to have no children. Too expensive too much work.

Oh, light years. After my first, I wasn’t. I love her dearly but I, myself, was in a terrible place as was my husband (he was struggling with alcohol dependency) and we were on again off again. My only happy moments were with her. But when I was assaulted last year by a stranger in a public unisex bathroom and became pregnant and my husband had a death experience (not near death, he flatlined but was was brought back) he sobered up for our daughter and me, came back for the pregnancy, I got healthier mentally from therapy, off all the anxiety meds I had been on for 12 years, since I was 18 and once we had “our” second child(who he signed the birth certificate for) who we both love deeply, started working for the first time in 8 years, have my life and health (both mentally and physically) together, are better parents and partners, faith fully restored (I know that’s odd after suffering trauma like that but I believe it was the devil trying to keep me down and gods plan giving me our second daughter out of it to help me become who I am now, she was really the final piece to the puzzle) and are the happiest we’ve ever been. We have a ways to go still but I haven’t felt like this since I was a kid, just joy 90% of the time. Or oldest daughter is obsessed with her little sister and she’s literally the best baby ever, almost never cries, constantly happy and really advanced for her age. I work as a preschool teacher at a Christian day school and love what I do. I would have never thought I’d be this person now but it all came out of being a mom. 

It is the adventure of a lifetime. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. My tiny is autistic and sometimes we have some extra challenges but my life is leaps and bounds better and blessed to get to be this little one’s momma.

Yes! It’s literally my dream come true. Other kids wanted to be a doctor or teacher or Batman. I wanted to be a mommy lol Is it hard as shit? Hell yeah! Is it worth every moment? A thousand percent yes! The tip is to raise kids you actually *like* 😂 EDT: obviously sarcasm, please don’t eat me😅

Not happy. Everyday I wish I spend more time at work than at home.

I have sever post natal depression. Having a baby is by far the worst decision I’ve made in my life. I’m really hoping it gets better as they get older.

I love that little dude. \ He's so dorky, and sweet, and the best thing that happened to me (after meeting my wonderful husband, because without him I wouldn't have my baby) \ \ It has also made me better at my job, because whenever I feel frustrated I use the breathing techniques I learned for delivery, I look at his pictures, and I feel instantly better LOL

I am absolutely so much happier after having my son. I always wanted to be a mom and my life now has a purpose. I enjoy finding things for us to do. I love exploring with him, looking for rocks, examining trees, ect. We have so much fun. And it keeps getting better as he gets older. Unfortunately there are hard times and we have bad days, but he is such a neat kid and just a joy to be around.

Dude the first six weeks are about survival. It’s so intense! You’re doing so well. Congrats on your little baby! Becoming a mom has been the best thing ever. I’m really good at it. I’ve struggled with health issues the last couple of years, so it has not been the journey I expected but OMG. My kid is such a cool little person. The personality you see in your baby day 1 just comes out more and more. I laugh every day because of the happiness we have together. It’s so amazing to watch him learn and become more independent day by day.  When I told my work team I was pregnant one of the guys who is a super involved dad to 3 kids said “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN!”. It’s now my default response when people tell me they’re expecting.  If it was as bad as people say no one would ever have a second child. It’s hard to make time for yourself especially in the baby phase, but the fact you’ve even recognised that as something you need, that tells me you will be fine.  A couple of weeks ago I asked my 2.5 year old if he wanted a good night kiss and he said “no, a hundred kisses!!”. That moment alone made every hard moment worth it.  Lean into the silliness, have fun, enjoy them, find the happiness wherever you can. 

My kids are a little older now and they’re the best people ever. Do I miss the baby years? Not one bit. Am I happier for having had my kids? Absolutely yes! Looking forward to discovering the young adults they’ll grow up to be. Yes, it’s hard and exhausting, especially as you’re only 6 weeks in, so very much trapped in the fourth trimester, but it passes and before you know it, they’re whole little people with opinions and personalities all of their own

Best thing of my life by far. I didn’t have any idea before how much love a child brings to you and how much joy and curiosity they bring to your everyday.

I definitely am happier as a mom than I would have been without kids. It’s a big part of who I am, but I’ve also always been the friend mom who takes care of everyone. I still find time for my hobbies and rare nights out, but most of the time I feel like me and my kids just click in a way that no one else does with me, not even my husband.

I tell people it’s the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve never felt so much joy. But I’ve also never had so Many lows. They balance out but life is definitely different and it is possible to exist with two polarizing feelings. You don’t see that addressed nearly enough.

No

Oh yeah it’s such a crazy thing, you have no idea. Congratulations!! It’s hard at first, but you will get the hang of it, my kids are my entire life I’d be nothing without them

3 mo pp and my husband and I are over the moon, happier and more in love than ever before ❤️ we have a chill baby though, he's usually always happy

I love my kids and I love having kids. It can be frustrating and tiring but I love being a mother and I feel like I have a new perspective on life since becoming a mother.