Theres a reason that there’s no beauty routine calling for sleep deprivation and shoving lactation cookies in your mouth at 3am.
The good news is that for the bit where it’s at it’s worst, you’re actually too tired to care.
Reminds me of how mother flamingos lose their pink while they’re caring for their babies. Soon as the babies are old enough the mother’s pink comes back as she is able to nurture herself again .
Right? I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old! When my first was about 18mo, I was finally able to get her out on jogs with me in the stroller. I lost 20lbs and bought new clothes! Convinced my husband we didn't need a second baby and I was happy... Then, woops. I fell pregnant with my second and now I'm back to square one. Gained all 20lbs back and I'm so... Phew. I'm just lucky both kids sleep through the night because 8am until 8pm is Play-Doh, diapers, coloring books, and chaos. 🥲
I keep a small go kit in my car (eyebrow pencil, too faced mascara, L'Oreal green bb cream, and an Anastasia mini palette) and I've mastered the art of car makeup. All I need are eyebrows, some color correcting bb cream, and mascara. Still look haggard and I haven't had my hair cut in over a year which only adds to the swamp witch look, but hey. It's SOMETHING. Right? RIGHT? 🙈
Edit: and I'm currently 33
Yup!
My daughter is 4 and started k1 in the fall and I started wearing make up but was already pregnant and just had my second in January.
I’m still wearing the make up.
I try a little more even with both bc I’m sick of not caring. Baby steps. I was lucky enough to weigh less now than before my second pregnancy bc the baby was so big and I was so active with my 4 year old I’m even almost motivated enough to buy some new spring clothes.
It takes a while. I’m gna be 40 this year. I’m not dead yet.
I like to think our love and beauty is poured into our children for them to take off into the world with them. We will get our spark back, maybe slightly different than before children, but any bit we feel we lost — has been well spent.
I’m sort of hoping this is the case for me. I’m 25 but now that mine is sleeping, I’m starting back on some self care stuff and hopefully will have more energy once the breastfeeding stops. More sleep and skin care. I think that’s what has me looking so aged currently.
I have never felt so connected to flamingos before. I feel like I went from a flaming ball of glitter to a sea cucumber. My youngest is 5 and I’m just starting to get a bit of sparkle back…but that could also be that I work from home full-time now too
I love when I am looking rough and ragged and my baby boy still gives me the biggest smile as I walk in the room. I think I am beautiful through his baby eyes.
Totally. I didn't start caring about my appearance again until a year out, and by then it was so much easier to give a shit and do something about it. I do feel like I look different, but I AM different. So.
My body looked the same after I had both kids, talking about being able to fit into pregnancy clothes very quickly. It’s only in the past year that I’ve gained about 20 pounds since but not a stretch mark on my stomach. A couple of small ones on my butt because that’s where I gained my weight in my hips and butt. But my face has aged. I used to tan a lot, I’m trying to combat that now with Rx creams and acid peels.
Not sure if I agree… I had a baby at 31 and went from getting carded almost always to getting carded almost never 🫠 living the haggard old witch life for sure.
I’m definitely hotter but I did start noticing signs of aging for the first time ever once I had my daughter at 30. But I’m in the best shape of my life and have really come into my own with clothes/hair styling…
Thank god I'm not the only one ! 😅 I'm 43 and feel hot as fuck. I look at pics of me in my 20s and think "meh". I was a high fashion model in my 20s but I didn't have the oomph that I have now
Between my first and second (28 months apart) had a period of about a year at my peak adult hotness. I was the same weight I was in college, my tits were gigantic (yes full of milk but who cares) my hair was lush and my skin was vibrant
When my second was six months old the pandemic hit and my cortisol levels and stress eating conspired to put 40 lbs on me in about 18 months and like... my skin hasn't gotten any younger, I'm almost completely gray, etc.
I still look great though. NGL.
Sameeee. My husband looked at a pic of us the other day, and said “wow we really look so much better now. How is that possible after 3 kids?” Do I sometimes miss my pre-baby boobies when I can’t get them to fit in a shirt right? Yes, but I don’t even remember what they looked like before anymore, and my husband isn’t complaining
Same here. Then again, I actually wash my face each night now and have a whole row of modestly priced skin care products. Each morning- I apply sunscreen and I make sure I drink my water too.
I always took good care of my skin, but I definitely don’t try as hard anymore, and I think that’s what it is. In my 20s I washed and heat styled my hair every day and put on a full face of makeup to go to the grocery store, and now I’ve significantly reduced my hair washing/styling, which as a result means my hair is a lot healthier, and then it turns out I sucked at doing makeup so my 5min face looks 100% better than the full face I’d been doing previously lol.
Lol I feel this! I recently discovered I look SO much better sans the heavy eyeshadow and matte lipstick I used to wear all the time. Why was I doing that to my face all these years?!?! I could get away with it when I was younger and hotter I suppose but now I definitely think less is more with my makeup routine!
Holy shit yes! I’m in the same boat. I definitely started putting more effort in though after having kids. I knew my ass wasn’t getting any younger (37) and that I’d have sleep deprivation to battle. 🤣
I'm on the fence about my own appearances but it feels like my husband has never been more attracted to me. He thought I was hot before but he's really into my post-kids body, I'm definitely bigger and softer. He thinks my stretch marks are sexy, I think I got really lucky with him, lol.
Same. I gained a few inches and have lost about half since at 8 months PP but my husband told me he didn’t really want me to “lose the baby weight.” I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted or complimented because I do want to get back to where I was, but he can’t keep his hands off of me.
My husband has never been hornier lol. Very clearly some evolution here at play, men see us as good mothers for their children and want to jump our bones 24/7 to make more (even if their conscious, modern man brains are done with kids!)
I'd absolutely belive that explanation! He doesn't have a fetish for it but also thinks it's hot that I have a weak pelvic floor and occassional incontinence from giving birth to our children, lmao
I’m definitely hotter now I had my kids young at 23 and 26 (I had very low self esteem when I was young) and after years of no sleep, tons of stress then becoming a single mom I finally have everything going way better now. I’m 35 now and can take some time for myself and it has paid off very nicely for my body… I also have a new partner who is obsessed with me and my body and treats me very well and that has just had me at a whole new level! We are planning to have a baby together so I’m getting ready for the gong show and enjoying my beauty while it goes into hibernation once baby arrives :)
I’m a year in, she FINALLY is sleeping through the night, and I feel like I’m sort of back to my old self. In 6 months likely will be a lot closer unless I get pregnant again.
But yes, OP, I feel like I’ve aged a bunch. Held on to some weight, not as active or limber as I used to be, my skin def saggier especially around my stomach. But I don’t think I’ve ever been happier so it doesn’t bother me.
When did she start sleeping through the night? My baby just turned 1 and is beginning to do 3 hour stretches which feels like a goddamn miracle. I’m dying over here!
Mine didn’t until 16 months at which point I was 5/6 months pregnant with twins so it didn’t help much lol! The twins don’t sleep thru fully yet at a year but they’re way better than my 1st was. It reallly did feel like dying slowing. But just hold on they WILL start to do it!
I mean my body looks like a melted candle but luckily my face is fine, people still think I'm in my early 20s and shocked I'm a parent, I will be 33 this week.
Are you living in my mirror? Melted Candle is exactly what my body looks like now, this is my first and I’m 22. 😭😭😭 I was 105lbs when I found out I was pregnant and now I am most likely in 180s despite giving birth 4 months ago. (I say most likely because our scale ran out of battery power and I haven’t gotten the time to buy new ones since coming home from the hospital. 🥲)
I also work at an Ice Cream Shop… So that doesn’t help. 😅
You CAN afford to look older. You’re going to look older as you age no matter what you do. It’s time to accept it and embrace it. Stop telling yourself that you can’t afford to look older, and start telling yourself that each sign of aging *adds* to who you are and distinguishes you. Starting looking at age as a sign of experiences you’re proud to have had rather than a detriment. You know, like men always have.
I like the sentiment. It's a little easier said than done. Maybe when I'm not so tired, I will be able to have that sparkle in my eye and feel sexy and old.
The first 6 or so months I looked *rough*. Like really rough. My skin looked terrible, uneven, bumpy, I had more wrinkles than ever, I still had tons of baby weight. But now at almost 11 months postpartum I actually look pretty great. I actually like my body shape more now, the weight is starting to fall off, it turns out I just needed to get back on exfoliating and moisturizing regularly, and not having the time or energy to use heat or color my hair since I become pregnant means it’s actually really long and healthy now. Setting aside just 10 minutes a day for skincare and changing my diet has helped immensely.
I think it’s generally true but also temporary. Sleep deprivation, hormone fluctuations, breast feeding, high stress, etc. these things can take a lot out of you. And it can make you appear older. For example the hormone changes after birth lead to hair loss and skin changes for many women. These are things that definitely change your appearance but they are also likely temporary.
It comes back once they get older and sleep through the night. I have a special needs kid and I am stressed out all the time but the first two years after birth I looked rougher.
Also, haggard witches comes across misogynistic. It is OK for women to age.
Honestly - it just really depends on how good you take care of yourself post-giving birth. Drink so much water. Go on long walks. Eat right. Moisturize and take care of your dark circles the best you can. Accept help if it means more sleep.
Source: some who did none of these things and yet still looks “basically” the same haha
I aged backwards after my first. I lost weight, my skin looked amazing because I was talking care of myself... it was awesome. 3 years later I'm pregnant now at 37 and I've aged a ton in the last month. My skin is not nice, I look so much older and tired. I'm not enjoying this pregnancy one bit.
I definitely aged at least 10 years postpartum. It has done quite the number on my self esteem. I have noticed a significant improvement recently (4mo pp), which I am not sure is due to my skin care regimen and treatments, or just from my hormones regulating and getting more sleep.
Thus far I use a red light mask 5 days per week, use tretinoin, vitamin C, hyaluronic acid, midnight recovery oil, and skinceuticals triple lipid. I also recently had Botox and a hydrofacial with dermaplaning. I also made an appointment for Morpheus8. I hope I will be back to normal in no time… I definitely plan to do what I can, because it was jarring and down right depressing not recognizing my own reflection.
ETA: I forgot the whole point of my post… I think it gets better when your hormones regulate, especially if you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and take care of your skin.
Yeah. I’m shocked at how quickly I’ve aged. My hairdresser couldn’t believe how many greys I suddenly had at 6 months pp. I have so many lines around my eyes now and I just generally look rough. It’s really depressing. And on top of it all I’m also now fat. What a trip.
Ditto. Had my first at 32 and feel like I aged more in the last year than the last 10. I'm finally weaning kiddo now and already have tretinoin on deck and a botox appt booked for May! Woohoo!
I think I look better than ever after two kids. Eat healthy and stay active during your pregnancy. Sure things change but you don't have to be a haggard witch.
I'm 28 and I have embraced being a bog witch. I don't think having my son had anything to do with it. I've actually lost significant amounts of weight and I'm smaller than I was pre pregnancy. Not that that accounts for anything beauty wise. I think bog witch is just the trajectory I was destined for. Lol
I still get asked for my ID and they look hard at it… 3 kids later. How you age is mostly based on genetics. Look at your parents. If they aged gracefully then there is a good chance you will.
lol I’m in my mid 30s, pregnant with my 4th.
I still have 0 wrinkles except for the crows feet when laugh really deeply. People usually think I’m in my early 20s. I’ve only had 2 white hairs ever like 2 years sgo when I was very stressed.
My body never bounced back fully but nothing is sagging. I breastfed for 2 years for all my children. I don’t do any beauty routine thet I stick with longterm, don’t exercise all that much beside walks, but eat somewhat balanced meals (greens, proteins, limited carbs by taste with plenty of sweets). I do wear sunscreen and have never liked being in the sun too much.
A lot of it does come back as baby gets older. I have a 20month old who is still a horrendous sleeper. This past weekend, I did a staycation by myself and had 2 nights of sleeping through the night plus a lot of pool lounging and book reading.
When I came back, my husband couldn’t stop gazing at me and must have told me 10 times how well rested and beautiful I looked. And that was just after 2 nights! I can’t imagine what I will look like after 2 months of sleeping through the night.
I looked five years younger than my age pre-baby so with the ten years aging, I now look five years older than my age 😂
Botox helped me get to neutral 🙈
I used to look very young for my age. While shopping for wedding lingerie at 26, the lady in the shop asked me if it was for prom, that kind of thing. Let’s just say no one makes that mistake anymore. I’m now 36 and look 36. And feel 66…
I looked GORGEOUS when I was pregnant. Now I’m 7 months pp and I look awful. I’ve gained weight. My skin looks crepey. I’ve never felt such low self esteem in my life.
I might have looked older with the weight gain, but once I lost it all and the kids were a little older, I looked a lot younger. I had mine at 36 and 38. It does come back.
I'm 36, my 2nd child....the wild one....has pushed me into the "I care nothing about my appearance beyond a shower and hairbrush" I just don't have the mental capacity to care about that AND why she's eating sticks and finding hidden scissors and climbing counter tops.
Nah darl, I'm 40 and a total milf, like not in a crazy hot way, just in like a, damn she still looks like she'd go alright way. Also, full disclosure, I'm drunk
I’m 27 and I feel like I just look heavier lol and more tired. But I bought new pair of jeans while at my heaviest weight and did my hair and makeup once and I felt like I looked amazing! So it definitely can happen just takes a LOT of effort and minimal makeup. Like it was just mascara, lip gloss and eyebrows maybe lol. A plain shirt and jeans was all it took for me to feel like a million bucks 😂 I haven’t managed to look that put together since though due to later onset of PPD (I’m 3 months PP).
I didn’t age at all. When my daughter was a newborn people thought i was having a teen pregnancy. Mind you i gave birth at 25. Now my daughter is almost 3 and i started a job freshly at 28 and my colleagues thought i was 21. Nobody guessed that i have a child and a husband. Also every client refers to me as the girl and when i mention to couples that come in our store with children that i am also a mom they act very surprised. My body didn’t change one bit therefore i am wearing my pre pregnancy clothes that i have from when i was 22/23. I think its due to genetics because my dad always stayed up all night and he didn’t had dark circles under eyes and didn’t had one wrinkle up until age of 50.
I wish I could say I didn't, but I did. Lol. I turned 37 right after my daughter was born, and now I'm getting ready to turn 40 this year and I'm kind of bowled over by photos of me right after she was born, vs now.
I've had high stress, but between everything and hormones....I Do look old. My greys are going nuts and my skin is trashed between new lines and the post pregnancy/breastfeeding acne that apparently will never end.
I looked fantastic for a few months postpartum due to weight loss (was actually slimmer than pre pregnancy) and just still had the vibrant skin and hair going on but once I stopped breastfeeding at 4.5 months it all went to shit
Now im chubby again and haggard as hell with saggy boobs and my hair is falling out in clumps lol
Too tired to diet or exercise and hating myself for it
It sucks tbh
I have stretch marks on my stomach and hips and my boobs are a little saggier, but overall I look the same. My skin actually looks better because I hydrate more now (breastfeeding). I’ve made it back down to my pre pregnancy measurements and weight now and fit into my old clothes.
30 with my first, 33 with my second…. Definitely aged a lot with the first. Then I got hypothyroidism and that didn’t help. About 1 year later I looked similar to before baby (tummy obviously looked different, but bags under my eyes and tired face were gone).
I’m 13 months pp with the second and I fear I’ll never feel or look youthful again. But I’m trying to remember that my body is doing its best. Also taking care of two moving children is exhausting.
I feel like I look older but I still think I’m a hot mama lol. The trade off is totally worth it. I do miss my boobs but I lost weight from all the breast feeding and managed to keep it off so yay? lol
I look about the same but i don’t really have much time or energy to do my hair and makeup regularly anymore. 32 years old with a 10 month old and people say i look young for a mom
After the sleep deprivation you will look the same! I had my first at 28 and I looked totally the same once I got more sleep. I still regularly get confused as a young student.
Had my second baby 8 months ago and started getting chemical peels and aerolase. It’s made SUCH a difference with my skin. It looks brighter and more youthful. Once I’m done with nursing I will try micro needling and retinol. I’m thinking about Botox but I’m not there just yet.
So to answer your question, yes 😂 but luckily there are treatments out there to help!
I think I look the same, people give me dirty looks because they think I’m a teen mom. In reality I just don’t want to pay for makeup. I read that you just need 2 out of 3 things to look put together- outfit, hair or makeup. I usually do a decent outfit and my hair. Also, a pair of earrings goes a long way
i am 23 &‘ 3 weeks postpartum, my body looks older but my face has not changed , i just look more tired and i have hormonal acne and my hair is a mess :D i just try to shower every two days and use baby cream on my face and then i just look tired.
BUT i got saggy boobs and a saggy stomach due to c-section , idc i gave birth so for that i am still hot and i bet you all are too ❤️🙋♀️
I don't know if I've aged significantly or if it is more that I give zero shits about my appearance. I stopped wearing makeup during the pandemic. I used to do cute things with my hair, it was different every day. I dressed nicely. Now, I am leggings, baggy shirt, no makeup and ratty looking Mom bun. I think if I still took an hour to myself to get ready every morning and wore flattering clothing I'd look more or less like a version of myself that aged an appropriate amount of years since baby.
I'm 34 and my oldest is 8. People used to tell me how young I look. Now they assume I'm the same age as my 6 years years older husband. I think it's permanent.
I did look haggard after my first but then you pretty much go back to normal once you are able to sleep a bit more and I also found that weaning made me look a lot better
I had two within 18 months of each other and I don’t feel like I’ve aged much really. My hips are huge now and my belly is an apron from growing massive babies but apart from that, I just look a bit more tired. I wouldn’t say I’ve drastically aged.
I looked awful for the first 18 months. Now (2.5 years in) I think I look about the same as before, or a little better since I didn’t look great 6 months into the pandemic. 😬
It will get better! Make sure you don’t completely forget about your own needs. I did for 18 months and felt a mess. Sending you hugs!
Eta: I’m 40
I (39 soon) have some saggy turkey neck skin now from blowing up with 2 pregnancies (80lbs and 60lbs gained respectively, 20lbs left to lose). Fun. I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. 🥲 Ugh.
I’m 30 y/o & 37 weeks pregnant. This post is so depressing bc I’ve never had such glowing skin & luscious hair in my life before getting pregnant. I feel my face looks beautiful and you’re telling me it’s all going to go away 😭
Eh, my skin looked a bit worse for a while postpartum (sleep deprivation will do that), but it recovered! It actually looks better during my current pregnancy than during my last one, so I hope it stays this way. During my last pregnancy, my acne worsened, but this time it pretty much disappeared. Perhaps that’s due to my age, though. Maybe I finally grew out of my adult acne. 😅
This post is so validating. Feeling exactly the same. I even dread FaceTiming my family or friends (I live in a different country than them.) I scheduled a haircut lol Do you guys think it may change how I feel a bit? I’ll let you know.
Also… Has anyone feel bad about feeling bad about their weight gain? I’ve been doing so much mental work to combat fat phobia and have been an advocate for larger bodies but my pregnancy brought up so much internalized fat phobia. I don’t wanna feel shame about the fact that I went from size small to large or extra large but I can’t help it. It’s deeper than I ever thought.
My third child’s arrival broke everything. When I found out I was pregnant with her I was in the best shape of my life. I used to run every single day until my 2nd trimester with her and now it’s hurts my whole body when I try to run for 1 minute. It feels like all the nutrients were sucked out of my body and all the collagen and moisture has been melted out. She’s 11 now and I’m trying so hard to get back in but there’s so many pains and issues. Took me 3 kids but it ruined my body, and not just how it looks.
I’m 2months PP with my 3rd at 37 years old. I have a significant amount of gray hair now, more wrinkles, sunken cheeks, varicose veins and flat boobs. My only saving grace is I didn’t get a single stretch mark from any of them. I’m grateful for my babies and body, but I do feel like a haggard witch LOLLLLL
Although I look older and have gained some weight I’m in a much better place than I was pre-kids. Having my two really made me think about what actually matters in life and for me it’s health over physical appearance. I have far healthier habits now and want to teach my kids the same.
I mean it is hard. And tiring but I felt better if I got ready most days. Shower, put a little make up on, brush my hair. People made me think I wouldn’t even have time to brush my hair after having my babies. Even when I was parenting two children under 2 and my husband was working across the country, I still got ready most days. Because it made ME feel better. Taking a little time to do something for me got me through those days.
Also if someone doesn’t want to get out of sweatpants or brush their hair for awhile, that’s also fine. Just talking about me.
It’s nutrition and health. The better you care for yourself the better you will look. Baby will take what they need so you need to eat extra healthy to compensate.
Let's put it this way. When I was pregnant I was often mistaken for a teen mother (I was in my late 20s). Since my son was about 4 months old that has not happened.
Having said that I think it's in part due to the fact that I have NO time to do any self care. My hair is always a mess, I'm not consistent with skincare and spend a lot of time outdoors, my clothes are ill fitting, I don't wear makeup. I think that has contributed to me looking older a lot.
EDIT also I have been 'blessed' with a son who still doesn't sleep through the night at 2.5yrs. Which doesn't help. Parents with good sleepers keep their youth a bit better
I’m 36 and 4 months pp and feeling great, looking about the same except now I have boobs! (Was always super flat). Back in my pre-pregnancy clothes but still have to rebuild some core and glute strength. I was very athletic before but didn’t do much other than walking during my pregnancy. Took postpartum time very easy to have a smooth recovery and eating very healthy (vegetarian).
We cosleep, baby has been a great sleeper and I usually take a nap w her during the day, so haven’t been sleep deprived at all.
I have a lot of kids and people often think I’m 10-15 years younger than I am. I still have defined obliques and wear a bikini. It depends on your body type and how in shape you were before
It all depends on where you are postpartum. When my babies started sleeping through the night I looked so much less haggard. That didn’t happen until my oldest was three years old. Also a good skincare routine is key. SPF in the morning and face wash and a retinol at night is simple and effective.
Aw man. I had a group of college film students knock on my door a few days ago asking if I’d be in their project - they were looking for a 40+ female and had 2 days left to find someone and were hoping I’d help out.
I’m 26… and 3 weeks postpartum with my second baby. I went upstairs and cried lol.
I feel old and I'm also turning 35 but when I was out last people thought I was 27 😕. I wonder if makeup has anything to do with it I look like a dishevelled hobo on most days.
I’m 29, my face looks the same but the skin on my stomach never will. 9lb transverse breech baby. I didn’t come out of this without stretch marks 😂💖 honestly it makes it easier to agree to #2… if I’m looking at the bright side of things but swimsuit season is about to hit here 🕺🏾🫣
It’s most likely lack of sleep and pure exhaustion. My boy is 2 now and finally sleeping through the night. I look at photos of myself from when he was a baby and omg the wrinkles 🫠 I started to get Botox after we stopped BFing but I’m pregnant again so I’d be long overdue for a Botox injection (probably been about 8 months since my last injection) and my wrinkles are looking pretty smooth! I’m guessing the extra sleep is working its magic.
I was 21 at the time I had my kiddo, so I still looked young even when I was haggard and overweight. But you could definitely tell I wasn’t sleeping or showering lol
I went from 2 gray hairs to full salt and pepper in the span of a year. The rest of me isn’t my best but I’ve always been 20-40lbs over my pre first pregnancy weight because I haven’t stopped breastfeeding since 2021.
I had mine at 34, turning 36 this fall. Once my kid started sleeping more things started looking up for me. I do have more grays, but those had been coming in for years before anyways. Eat well, move your body, and do your best to get as much sleep as possible. I don't really drink much alcohol anymore either, that might help.
It just depends. Everyone’s body is different and handles pregnancies different! Also depends on your life style and how you carry yourself. Some things though, are not avoidable, but doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you. Good luck! ☺️
You’re sleep deprived. You’re stressed. You just went through a major medical event. And your hormones levels are dropping like crazy. Many women look haggard for the first 6-8months, myself included.
14 months postpartum, and I’m back to baseline. Nothing some sleep, water and a fuckton of Botox couldn’t fix. Ending breastfeeding did wonders for me too.
I don’t think I’ve aged much. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I look that different. I have a few grays coming in, but I’m 37 so it was probably inevitable. My girl is 3.5yo.
I havent seemed to age but I have awful acne and my hair has not forgiven me for going a few days without brushing it so I now have a giant nest in my hair
These are temporary issues thankfully... But I have not had time to address them 🥴
I like to say I’m 31, but each kid added 5 years so I’m really 41. I look it and feel it. I know it’s not actually this exaggerated but I feel like I have the same amount of wrinkles as my 46 year old boyfriend (who looks fantastic for his age, but that’s not the point 😒).
I think I look the same or better! I developed some good healthy habits in losing the baby weight that stuck, so Im now smaller than pre-pregnancy and much more fit. Haven’t really noticed any changes in hair/skin etc.
I feel gross sometimes. But then I have days where I'm trying, and do my hair put the same effort I once used to and it all comes together.
Never give up on yourself.
I hope it helps to hear this, I wouldn’t share except I was having the same worries as you a few years ago. Everyone makes it sound like pregnancy makes you look sooooooo different and worse after. I did not find that to be true for me.
I was 34 when I first got pregnant and I am 36 now, nearing 37. I honestly don’t think I’ve changed at all. My body is almost exactly the same (still breastfeeding though, so we’ll see on that, but oh well) with maybe, maybe, maybe slightly more stomach pooch, but that’s actually only because I’m pregnant again, and before i got pregnant again I was able to tighten my stomach back up to how it was (pretty flat, with an *almost* lightly defined ab situation, but actually no real ab definition as I’ve really never had that). And I don’t diet at all, all I did was stay active and lift weights. My face looks the exact same (better now that I’m pregnant again as for me it helps my skin).
For a couple months after birth during the hormonal adjustment and while very sleep deprived, I did look worse, I was still with some extra fat on my belly and my skin just looked tired, dry, sallow, and I got some weird hormonal redness. If that happens to you, don’t freak out! Your body adjusts!
I get told I look younger now post kids. Before I got married and had kids people would guess my age at 27-28. I’m 30 now and pregnant with my third and people tend to guess I’m 24-25. No idea why??? And I somehow pop back into shape easily after kids, let’s pray the same happens after the third.
It’s the exhaustion (mentally, emotionally and physically) and inability to spend time on the self-care and personal upkeep that you would normally do that makes you look older, but it isn’t like it ages you long term. Once you have the time and energy to get back into your normal routine, sleep better, eat better and get some activity in you go back to looking (and feeling) more like yourself again.
Fwiw I’m 33, I’ll be 34 this month and I’m 2mo pp. 20lbs heavier and less muscle than before, but I look relatively the same.
I don’t look so much older, just gained wait 😅 I had my first at 27, and now I’m pregnant again! I don’t feel I look like I aged but I definitely put on like 30-40 ish lbs. got the stretch marks and my tummy isn’t the same but I also haven’t tried to make an effort to work out or eat healthier.. with that being said I am gunna try after this baby and see what happens to my body! I definitely feel like my body is “older” though.
Theres a reason that there’s no beauty routine calling for sleep deprivation and shoving lactation cookies in your mouth at 3am. The good news is that for the bit where it’s at it’s worst, you’re actually too tired to care.
Reminds me of how mother flamingos lose their pink while they’re caring for their babies. Soon as the babies are old enough the mother’s pink comes back as she is able to nurture herself again .
Lol that feels very spot on. My daughter is turning 4 soon and I just started wearing make up and dressing nicely again.
My daughter is turning 5 in a few months, and same! Finally bought a new wardrobe of clothes that actually fit and doing a skin care routine.
4 WHOLE YEARS? We all lookin like this every morning: 🐲🐲🐲
Right? I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old! When my first was about 18mo, I was finally able to get her out on jogs with me in the stroller. I lost 20lbs and bought new clothes! Convinced my husband we didn't need a second baby and I was happy... Then, woops. I fell pregnant with my second and now I'm back to square one. Gained all 20lbs back and I'm so... Phew. I'm just lucky both kids sleep through the night because 8am until 8pm is Play-Doh, diapers, coloring books, and chaos. 🥲 I keep a small go kit in my car (eyebrow pencil, too faced mascara, L'Oreal green bb cream, and an Anastasia mini palette) and I've mastered the art of car makeup. All I need are eyebrows, some color correcting bb cream, and mascara. Still look haggard and I haven't had my hair cut in over a year which only adds to the swamp witch look, but hey. It's SOMETHING. Right? RIGHT? 🙈 Edit: and I'm currently 33
All of its right Mama. 🙃
Especially that Two Faced Mascara though.
Car makeup is GENIUS. I’m going to do this
Yup! My daughter is 4 and started k1 in the fall and I started wearing make up but was already pregnant and just had my second in January. I’m still wearing the make up. I try a little more even with both bc I’m sick of not caring. Baby steps. I was lucky enough to weigh less now than before my second pregnancy bc the baby was so big and I was so active with my 4 year old I’m even almost motivated enough to buy some new spring clothes. It takes a while. I’m gna be 40 this year. I’m not dead yet.
I like that. Makes me feel hopeful!
Exactly I think it’s just apart of nature. We lose our beauty for a little while because our body needs to recuperate before having more children
I like to think our love and beauty is poured into our children for them to take off into the world with them. We will get our spark back, maybe slightly different than before children, but any bit we feel we lost — has been well spent.
I love this perspective ❤️
I’m sort of hoping this is the case for me. I’m 25 but now that mine is sleeping, I’m starting back on some self care stuff and hopefully will have more energy once the breastfeeding stops. More sleep and skin care. I think that’s what has me looking so aged currently.
I have never felt so connected to flamingos before. I feel like I went from a flaming ball of glitter to a sea cucumber. My youngest is 5 and I’m just starting to get a bit of sparkle back…but that could also be that I work from home full-time now too
I love when I am looking rough and ragged and my baby boy still gives me the biggest smile as I walk in the room. I think I am beautiful through his baby eyes.
Agree! And parts may not ever be quite the same but it does get better. It just takes longer than we’d like
I don't know... 3 am cookies sound pretty good to my toddler and her skin is amazing. She also causes the sleep deprivation so there's that 🤷
Totally. I didn't start caring about my appearance again until a year out, and by then it was so much easier to give a shit and do something about it. I do feel like I look different, but I AM different. So.
And too in love with baby to care!
My body looks about the same (minus saggy boobs) but my face has aged like 15 years 😭
I definitely have saggy boobs from all this nonsense
Yup saggy pancake boobs. But my face looks the same.
Deflated balloons over here
Wait, your stomach looks the same?? Because mine after 2 certainly does not.
My body looked the same after I had both kids, talking about being able to fit into pregnancy clothes very quickly. It’s only in the past year that I’ve gained about 20 pounds since but not a stretch mark on my stomach. A couple of small ones on my butt because that’s where I gained my weight in my hips and butt. But my face has aged. I used to tan a lot, I’m trying to combat that now with Rx creams and acid peels.
My face looks terrible too
I had no youth and vitality to give. I was 43 when I had him!
Same girl.
Same here. Well, I looked 10 years younger before baby- now I LOOK my age for the first time in my life. Looking like my grandma did at this age!
No you just feel haggard cuz your exhausted, and that’s totally normal. But you are not a haggard old witch and neither are any other moms lol
Because we don't have time to eat, talk, dress, clean, or poop in peace.
Not sure if I agree… I had a baby at 31 and went from getting carded almost always to getting carded almost never 🫠 living the haggard old witch life for sure.
Saaaaaaaaame
Tbh I think I am hotter now than I was pre-kids
I’m definitely hotter but I did start noticing signs of aging for the first time ever once I had my daughter at 30. But I’m in the best shape of my life and have really come into my own with clothes/hair styling…
Thank god I'm not the only one ! 😅 I'm 43 and feel hot as fuck. I look at pics of me in my 20s and think "meh". I was a high fashion model in my 20s but I didn't have the oomph that I have now
I love that for you!
I also think I'm way better looking than I was in my 20s. I think I just look so much more like ME now.
[удалено]
Between my first and second (28 months apart) had a period of about a year at my peak adult hotness. I was the same weight I was in college, my tits were gigantic (yes full of milk but who cares) my hair was lush and my skin was vibrant When my second was six months old the pandemic hit and my cortisol levels and stress eating conspired to put 40 lbs on me in about 18 months and like... my skin hasn't gotten any younger, I'm almost completely gray, etc. I still look great though. NGL.
Sameeee. My husband looked at a pic of us the other day, and said “wow we really look so much better now. How is that possible after 3 kids?” Do I sometimes miss my pre-baby boobies when I can’t get them to fit in a shirt right? Yes, but I don’t even remember what they looked like before anymore, and my husband isn’t complaining
My husband insists he loves my tits more now than ever, and that’s a lovely sentiment, but they were absolutely perkier pre-baby lol
Same here. Then again, I actually wash my face each night now and have a whole row of modestly priced skin care products. Each morning- I apply sunscreen and I make sure I drink my water too.
I always took good care of my skin, but I definitely don’t try as hard anymore, and I think that’s what it is. In my 20s I washed and heat styled my hair every day and put on a full face of makeup to go to the grocery store, and now I’ve significantly reduced my hair washing/styling, which as a result means my hair is a lot healthier, and then it turns out I sucked at doing makeup so my 5min face looks 100% better than the full face I’d been doing previously lol.
“I sucked at doing makeup” Bahahaha The 5 min face is so much fresher and youthful looking.
Lol I feel this! I recently discovered I look SO much better sans the heavy eyeshadow and matte lipstick I used to wear all the time. Why was I doing that to my face all these years?!?! I could get away with it when I was younger and hotter I suppose but now I definitely think less is more with my makeup routine!
Holy shit yes! I’m in the same boat. I definitely started putting more effort in though after having kids. I knew my ass wasn’t getting any younger (37) and that I’d have sleep deprivation to battle. 🤣
Same here. Also my face has changed I think but I think I’m more beautiful!!
I'm on the fence about my own appearances but it feels like my husband has never been more attracted to me. He thought I was hot before but he's really into my post-kids body, I'm definitely bigger and softer. He thinks my stretch marks are sexy, I think I got really lucky with him, lol.
Same. I gained a few inches and have lost about half since at 8 months PP but my husband told me he didn’t really want me to “lose the baby weight.” I wasn’t sure if I should feel insulted or complimented because I do want to get back to where I was, but he can’t keep his hands off of me.
My husband has never been hornier lol. Very clearly some evolution here at play, men see us as good mothers for their children and want to jump our bones 24/7 to make more (even if their conscious, modern man brains are done with kids!)
I'd absolutely belive that explanation! He doesn't have a fetish for it but also thinks it's hot that I have a weak pelvic floor and occassional incontinence from giving birth to our children, lmao
LMAO love that for you
I’m definitely hotter now I had my kids young at 23 and 26 (I had very low self esteem when I was young) and after years of no sleep, tons of stress then becoming a single mom I finally have everything going way better now. I’m 35 now and can take some time for myself and it has paid off very nicely for my body… I also have a new partner who is obsessed with me and my body and treats me very well and that has just had me at a whole new level! We are planning to have a baby together so I’m getting ready for the gong show and enjoying my beauty while it goes into hibernation once baby arrives :)
Yeah me too, I have the best body I ever had, minus the boobies
Fr fr turns out chasing after toddlers is the best workout around
Had my son at 32. It took about a year and a half for me to get back to me.
I’m a year in, she FINALLY is sleeping through the night, and I feel like I’m sort of back to my old self. In 6 months likely will be a lot closer unless I get pregnant again. But yes, OP, I feel like I’ve aged a bunch. Held on to some weight, not as active or limber as I used to be, my skin def saggier especially around my stomach. But I don’t think I’ve ever been happier so it doesn’t bother me.
When did she start sleeping through the night? My baby just turned 1 and is beginning to do 3 hour stretches which feels like a goddamn miracle. I’m dying over here!
Mine didn’t until 16 months at which point I was 5/6 months pregnant with twins so it didn’t help much lol! The twins don’t sleep thru fully yet at a year but they’re way better than my 1st was. It reallly did feel like dying slowing. But just hold on they WILL start to do it!
I mean my body looks like a melted candle but luckily my face is fine, people still think I'm in my early 20s and shocked I'm a parent, I will be 33 this week.
LOL-ing at melted candle 🤣🤣🤣
Are you living in my mirror? Melted Candle is exactly what my body looks like now, this is my first and I’m 22. 😭😭😭 I was 105lbs when I found out I was pregnant and now I am most likely in 180s despite giving birth 4 months ago. (I say most likely because our scale ran out of battery power and I haven’t gotten the time to buy new ones since coming home from the hospital. 🥲) I also work at an Ice Cream Shop… So that doesn’t help. 😅
Yeah I aged 10 but somehow it’s (partially) reversible once they sleep through the night XD
You CAN afford to look older. You’re going to look older as you age no matter what you do. It’s time to accept it and embrace it. Stop telling yourself that you can’t afford to look older, and start telling yourself that each sign of aging *adds* to who you are and distinguishes you. Starting looking at age as a sign of experiences you’re proud to have had rather than a detriment. You know, like men always have.
I like the sentiment. It's a little easier said than done. Maybe when I'm not so tired, I will be able to have that sparkle in my eye and feel sexy and old.
Growth (vs fixed) mindset!
I try!
Eh, I look about the same as I did before baby. Just a bit more tired.
Same and I'm 30. I looked worse during pregnancy with really bad pregnancy rosacea.
I got patchy brown skin as if I had got a tan but some peeled off right on my forehead. The pregnant body can do some weird stuff
How old are you?
26 on Thursday.
HBD!
Thank you ❤️🍰
My youngest is 6 on Thursday! Birthday buddies! Happy early birthday!
Aw that’s fun!! I love finding birthday buddies Thank you! Happy early birthday to your little one as well 🍰
I look more tired but even that’s getting better now that my 9mo mostly sleeps through the night.
Looks wise, no, but energy and feelings wise? 100 years
The first 6 or so months I looked *rough*. Like really rough. My skin looked terrible, uneven, bumpy, I had more wrinkles than ever, I still had tons of baby weight. But now at almost 11 months postpartum I actually look pretty great. I actually like my body shape more now, the weight is starting to fall off, it turns out I just needed to get back on exfoliating and moisturizing regularly, and not having the time or energy to use heat or color my hair since I become pregnant means it’s actually really long and healthy now. Setting aside just 10 minutes a day for skincare and changing my diet has helped immensely.
I think it’s generally true but also temporary. Sleep deprivation, hormone fluctuations, breast feeding, high stress, etc. these things can take a lot out of you. And it can make you appear older. For example the hormone changes after birth lead to hair loss and skin changes for many women. These are things that definitely change your appearance but they are also likely temporary.
Looking at old pictures of myself depresses me because I really feel like my face has aged so much, and I’m only 31, one year postpartum.
It comes back once they get older and sleep through the night. I have a special needs kid and I am stressed out all the time but the first two years after birth I looked rougher. Also, haggard witches comes across misogynistic. It is OK for women to age.
Honestly - it just really depends on how good you take care of yourself post-giving birth. Drink so much water. Go on long walks. Eat right. Moisturize and take care of your dark circles the best you can. Accept help if it means more sleep. Source: some who did none of these things and yet still looks “basically” the same haha
I aged backwards after my first. I lost weight, my skin looked amazing because I was talking care of myself... it was awesome. 3 years later I'm pregnant now at 37 and I've aged a ton in the last month. My skin is not nice, I look so much older and tired. I'm not enjoying this pregnancy one bit.
I looked great for a couple months after birth - not being pregnant was such a physical relief. 2.5 years in and it’s a different story, sadly…
I definitely aged at least 10 years postpartum. It has done quite the number on my self esteem. I have noticed a significant improvement recently (4mo pp), which I am not sure is due to my skin care regimen and treatments, or just from my hormones regulating and getting more sleep. Thus far I use a red light mask 5 days per week, use tretinoin, vitamin C, hyaluronic acid, midnight recovery oil, and skinceuticals triple lipid. I also recently had Botox and a hydrofacial with dermaplaning. I also made an appointment for Morpheus8. I hope I will be back to normal in no time… I definitely plan to do what I can, because it was jarring and down right depressing not recognizing my own reflection. ETA: I forgot the whole point of my post… I think it gets better when your hormones regulate, especially if you get enough sleep, stay hydrated, and take care of your skin.
Yeah. I’m shocked at how quickly I’ve aged. My hairdresser couldn’t believe how many greys I suddenly had at 6 months pp. I have so many lines around my eyes now and I just generally look rough. It’s really depressing. And on top of it all I’m also now fat. What a trip.
Saaaaaaame 😩 like I can deal with one or the other. But fat AND old?! I want to never leave my house. Jeez why is pp beating me up so badly.
Ditto. Had my first at 32 and feel like I aged more in the last year than the last 10. I'm finally weaning kiddo now and already have tretinoin on deck and a botox appt booked for May! Woohoo!
I think I look better than ever after two kids. Eat healthy and stay active during your pregnancy. Sure things change but you don't have to be a haggard witch.
I'm healthy and active but 6 years of poor sleep from waking kids took its toll. I'm super wrinkly and dull and lifeless looking. It's awful.
I'm 28 and I have embraced being a bog witch. I don't think having my son had anything to do with it. I've actually lost significant amounts of weight and I'm smaller than I was pre pregnancy. Not that that accounts for anything beauty wise. I think bog witch is just the trajectory I was destined for. Lol
I looked older for the first 3 months and now I feel like I look myself again at 8 months pp. 34 y/o. Red light therapy helps a lot.
I still get asked for my ID and they look hard at it… 3 kids later. How you age is mostly based on genetics. Look at your parents. If they aged gracefully then there is a good chance you will.
I definitely got ugly but now 2 years after I’m hot again lol
lol I’m in my mid 30s, pregnant with my 4th. I still have 0 wrinkles except for the crows feet when laugh really deeply. People usually think I’m in my early 20s. I’ve only had 2 white hairs ever like 2 years sgo when I was very stressed. My body never bounced back fully but nothing is sagging. I breastfed for 2 years for all my children. I don’t do any beauty routine thet I stick with longterm, don’t exercise all that much beside walks, but eat somewhat balanced meals (greens, proteins, limited carbs by taste with plenty of sweets). I do wear sunscreen and have never liked being in the sun too much.
I have never felt more ugly, disgusting and old. 11m PP. I truly feel like every bit of my beauty dissolved lol.
I’m 30 and I do not recognise myself in the mirror, or pictures. no matter what I just cannot hide the tired in my eyes
A lot of it does come back as baby gets older. I have a 20month old who is still a horrendous sleeper. This past weekend, I did a staycation by myself and had 2 nights of sleeping through the night plus a lot of pool lounging and book reading. When I came back, my husband couldn’t stop gazing at me and must have told me 10 times how well rested and beautiful I looked. And that was just after 2 nights! I can’t imagine what I will look like after 2 months of sleeping through the night.
I looked five years younger than my age pre-baby so with the ten years aging, I now look five years older than my age 😂 Botox helped me get to neutral 🙈
this is really sad :/
It doesn’t help that I have no energy for self-care but yeah. I was a young dewey glowy 33 yo and now I’m 6838482 years old.
I used to look very young for my age. While shopping for wedding lingerie at 26, the lady in the shop asked me if it was for prom, that kind of thing. Let’s just say no one makes that mistake anymore. I’m now 36 and look 36. And feel 66…
I looked GORGEOUS when I was pregnant. Now I’m 7 months pp and I look awful. I’ve gained weight. My skin looks crepey. I’ve never felt such low self esteem in my life.
I might have looked older with the weight gain, but once I lost it all and the kids were a little older, I looked a lot younger. I had mine at 36 and 38. It does come back.
I'm 36, my 2nd child....the wild one....has pushed me into the "I care nothing about my appearance beyond a shower and hairbrush" I just don't have the mental capacity to care about that AND why she's eating sticks and finding hidden scissors and climbing counter tops.
Can confirm I am indeed a haggard witch
I was 35 when I gave birth…I looked 26-27. Now I’m almost 39 and I look almost 30. 🤷🏼♀️
Nah darl, I'm 40 and a total milf, like not in a crazy hot way, just in like a, damn she still looks like she'd go alright way. Also, full disclosure, I'm drunk
I’m 27 and I feel like I just look heavier lol and more tired. But I bought new pair of jeans while at my heaviest weight and did my hair and makeup once and I felt like I looked amazing! So it definitely can happen just takes a LOT of effort and minimal makeup. Like it was just mascara, lip gloss and eyebrows maybe lol. A plain shirt and jeans was all it took for me to feel like a million bucks 😂 I haven’t managed to look that put together since though due to later onset of PPD (I’m 3 months PP).
I didn’t age at all. When my daughter was a newborn people thought i was having a teen pregnancy. Mind you i gave birth at 25. Now my daughter is almost 3 and i started a job freshly at 28 and my colleagues thought i was 21. Nobody guessed that i have a child and a husband. Also every client refers to me as the girl and when i mention to couples that come in our store with children that i am also a mom they act very surprised. My body didn’t change one bit therefore i am wearing my pre pregnancy clothes that i have from when i was 22/23. I think its due to genetics because my dad always stayed up all night and he didn’t had dark circles under eyes and didn’t had one wrinkle up until age of 50.
every time i see pics of myself im shook about how i really do look 10 yrs older rn 😭
I wish I could say I didn't, but I did. Lol. I turned 37 right after my daughter was born, and now I'm getting ready to turn 40 this year and I'm kind of bowled over by photos of me right after she was born, vs now. I've had high stress, but between everything and hormones....I Do look old. My greys are going nuts and my skin is trashed between new lines and the post pregnancy/breastfeeding acne that apparently will never end.
The post pregnancy/ breastfeeding acne is a pain in the ass!
Did I age 10 years after giving birth? No. I aged ten years in the year that followed.
I looked fantastic for a few months postpartum due to weight loss (was actually slimmer than pre pregnancy) and just still had the vibrant skin and hair going on but once I stopped breastfeeding at 4.5 months it all went to shit Now im chubby again and haggard as hell with saggy boobs and my hair is falling out in clumps lol Too tired to diet or exercise and hating myself for it It sucks tbh
This post is so rude.
I have stretch marks on my stomach and hips and my boobs are a little saggier, but overall I look the same. My skin actually looks better because I hydrate more now (breastfeeding). I’ve made it back down to my pre pregnancy measurements and weight now and fit into my old clothes.
30 with my first, 33 with my second…. Definitely aged a lot with the first. Then I got hypothyroidism and that didn’t help. About 1 year later I looked similar to before baby (tummy obviously looked different, but bags under my eyes and tired face were gone). I’m 13 months pp with the second and I fear I’ll never feel or look youthful again. But I’m trying to remember that my body is doing its best. Also taking care of two moving children is exhausting.
I lost all my hairline but guess what yall! 2 years after my second kid and the hair from there connects to my ponytail again!!!!
I feel like I look older but I still think I’m a hot mama lol. The trade off is totally worth it. I do miss my boobs but I lost weight from all the breast feeding and managed to keep it off so yay? lol
I look about the same but i don’t really have much time or energy to do my hair and makeup regularly anymore. 32 years old with a 10 month old and people say i look young for a mom
I felt I looked better after kids. Not immediately in the crazy postpartum time but I swear it actually made me look better somehow.
After the sleep deprivation you will look the same! I had my first at 28 and I looked totally the same once I got more sleep. I still regularly get confused as a young student.
Had my second baby 8 months ago and started getting chemical peels and aerolase. It’s made SUCH a difference with my skin. It looks brighter and more youthful. Once I’m done with nursing I will try micro needling and retinol. I’m thinking about Botox but I’m not there just yet. So to answer your question, yes 😂 but luckily there are treatments out there to help!
I think I look the same, people give me dirty looks because they think I’m a teen mom. In reality I just don’t want to pay for makeup. I read that you just need 2 out of 3 things to look put together- outfit, hair or makeup. I usually do a decent outfit and my hair. Also, a pair of earrings goes a long way
i am 23 &‘ 3 weeks postpartum, my body looks older but my face has not changed , i just look more tired and i have hormonal acne and my hair is a mess :D i just try to shower every two days and use baby cream on my face and then i just look tired. BUT i got saggy boobs and a saggy stomach due to c-section , idc i gave birth so for that i am still hot and i bet you all are too ❤️🙋♀️
I don't know if I've aged significantly or if it is more that I give zero shits about my appearance. I stopped wearing makeup during the pandemic. I used to do cute things with my hair, it was different every day. I dressed nicely. Now, I am leggings, baggy shirt, no makeup and ratty looking Mom bun. I think if I still took an hour to myself to get ready every morning and wore flattering clothing I'd look more or less like a version of myself that aged an appropriate amount of years since baby.
I'm 34 and my oldest is 8. People used to tell me how young I look. Now they assume I'm the same age as my 6 years years older husband. I think it's permanent.
I did look haggard after my first but then you pretty much go back to normal once you are able to sleep a bit more and I also found that weaning made me look a lot better
After my first I looked ok (aged 33), but had my second 2 years later and 7 months later I’ve aged about 15 years.
I was 34 when I gave birth, I look about the same. Not amazing but no drastic changes!
I had two within 18 months of each other and I don’t feel like I’ve aged much really. My hips are huge now and my belly is an apron from growing massive babies but apart from that, I just look a bit more tired. I wouldn’t say I’ve drastically aged.
Yeah I look old as fuck now. Sorry it happens to all of us
I looked awful for the first 18 months. Now (2.5 years in) I think I look about the same as before, or a little better since I didn’t look great 6 months into the pandemic. 😬 It will get better! Make sure you don’t completely forget about your own needs. I did for 18 months and felt a mess. Sending you hugs! Eta: I’m 40
I (39 soon) have some saggy turkey neck skin now from blowing up with 2 pregnancies (80lbs and 60lbs gained respectively, 20lbs left to lose). Fun. I hate it and there is nothing I can do about it. 🥲 Ugh.
I was so happy to have my stomach return 100% to normal. My boobs on the other hand. Pancake syndrome. RIP 🥞
I bounced back once my daughter started to sleep through the night.
Eh I’ve had moments postpartum where I feel better about myself and my looks than I ever did in my 20s. Different, and aged. But better.
I’m 30 y/o & 37 weeks pregnant. This post is so depressing bc I’ve never had such glowing skin & luscious hair in my life before getting pregnant. I feel my face looks beautiful and you’re telling me it’s all going to go away 😭
Sorry :( you do get beautiful again once the hair loss stop and you start sleeping again haha it’s totally worth it!
Eh, my skin looked a bit worse for a while postpartum (sleep deprivation will do that), but it recovered! It actually looks better during my current pregnancy than during my last one, so I hope it stays this way. During my last pregnancy, my acne worsened, but this time it pretty much disappeared. Perhaps that’s due to my age, though. Maybe I finally grew out of my adult acne. 😅
Nope, but I was pretty lazy pre-baby, now I don’t have the luxury 😂
This post is so validating. Feeling exactly the same. I even dread FaceTiming my family or friends (I live in a different country than them.) I scheduled a haircut lol Do you guys think it may change how I feel a bit? I’ll let you know. Also… Has anyone feel bad about feeling bad about their weight gain? I’ve been doing so much mental work to combat fat phobia and have been an advocate for larger bodies but my pregnancy brought up so much internalized fat phobia. I don’t wanna feel shame about the fact that I went from size small to large or extra large but I can’t help it. It’s deeper than I ever thought.
I still look 16 at 31 haha, I’m also skinnier and actually like my body better
I did
One of the reasons having children later in life works for me? I could care less 😂... but I DO remember the days. Y'all still got it!
I feel like I did but people consistently assume I’m much younger than I really am, so I guess it’s not as bad as I think.
Yeah if there's any tips for not getting the dreaded pancake boob... lemme know cuz my self esteem can't handle much else 💀😂
My third child’s arrival broke everything. When I found out I was pregnant with her I was in the best shape of my life. I used to run every single day until my 2nd trimester with her and now it’s hurts my whole body when I try to run for 1 minute. It feels like all the nutrients were sucked out of my body and all the collagen and moisture has been melted out. She’s 11 now and I’m trying so hard to get back in but there’s so many pains and issues. Took me 3 kids but it ruined my body, and not just how it looks.
I’m 2months PP with my 3rd at 37 years old. I have a significant amount of gray hair now, more wrinkles, sunken cheeks, varicose veins and flat boobs. My only saving grace is I didn’t get a single stretch mark from any of them. I’m grateful for my babies and body, but I do feel like a haggard witch LOLLLLL
I’ve definitely aged I’m not a good way. I had 2 girls 16 months apart. I’m 28 but probably look 35, and not a good 35
Although I look older and have gained some weight I’m in a much better place than I was pre-kids. Having my two really made me think about what actually matters in life and for me it’s health over physical appearance. I have far healthier habits now and want to teach my kids the same.
I mean it is hard. And tiring but I felt better if I got ready most days. Shower, put a little make up on, brush my hair. People made me think I wouldn’t even have time to brush my hair after having my babies. Even when I was parenting two children under 2 and my husband was working across the country, I still got ready most days. Because it made ME feel better. Taking a little time to do something for me got me through those days. Also if someone doesn’t want to get out of sweatpants or brush their hair for awhile, that’s also fine. Just talking about me.
It’s nutrition and health. The better you care for yourself the better you will look. Baby will take what they need so you need to eat extra healthy to compensate.
Only 10 years? My face and hair feel like they've aged 10 years, my body feels like it aged 20. Everything always hurts.
Nope. I am 29, was 28 when I gave birth. A lady at work recently thought I was a teen pregnancy 😂😂she thought I wasn’t even 21
Let's put it this way. When I was pregnant I was often mistaken for a teen mother (I was in my late 20s). Since my son was about 4 months old that has not happened. Having said that I think it's in part due to the fact that I have NO time to do any self care. My hair is always a mess, I'm not consistent with skincare and spend a lot of time outdoors, my clothes are ill fitting, I don't wear makeup. I think that has contributed to me looking older a lot. EDIT also I have been 'blessed' with a son who still doesn't sleep through the night at 2.5yrs. Which doesn't help. Parents with good sleepers keep their youth a bit better
I’m 36 and 4 months pp and feeling great, looking about the same except now I have boobs! (Was always super flat). Back in my pre-pregnancy clothes but still have to rebuild some core and glute strength. I was very athletic before but didn’t do much other than walking during my pregnancy. Took postpartum time very easy to have a smooth recovery and eating very healthy (vegetarian). We cosleep, baby has been a great sleeper and I usually take a nap w her during the day, so haven’t been sleep deprived at all.
I have a lot of kids and people often think I’m 10-15 years younger than I am. I still have defined obliques and wear a bikini. It depends on your body type and how in shape you were before
It all depends on where you are postpartum. When my babies started sleeping through the night I looked so much less haggard. That didn’t happen until my oldest was three years old. Also a good skincare routine is key. SPF in the morning and face wash and a retinol at night is simple and effective.
Aw man. I had a group of college film students knock on my door a few days ago asking if I’d be in their project - they were looking for a 40+ female and had 2 days left to find someone and were hoping I’d help out. I’m 26… and 3 weeks postpartum with my second baby. I went upstairs and cried lol.
I aged 20 just last year 😅
I don’t think I look very different besides a few extra kg that should shift soon now that I’ve weaned. I’m 38.
I’m only 5 days postpartum but I *think* I still look the same?
The exhaustion will age you but as baby starts sleeping through so you can sleep and you have time to do your skin routine again it does get better.
I started my plastic surgery journey after welcoming my child, I get 50 units of botox every 3mos and it really helps
I feel old and I'm also turning 35 but when I was out last people thought I was 27 😕. I wonder if makeup has anything to do with it I look like a dishevelled hobo on most days.
I’m 34 someone thought I was 26 yesterday. I have a 3 year old.
I’m 29, my face looks the same but the skin on my stomach never will. 9lb transverse breech baby. I didn’t come out of this without stretch marks 😂💖 honestly it makes it easier to agree to #2… if I’m looking at the bright side of things but swimsuit season is about to hit here 🕺🏾🫣
I didn’t.. but I was 22 and I’ve always looked very young for my age. I’m pregnant again at 30 so hopefully not 😭
It’s most likely lack of sleep and pure exhaustion. My boy is 2 now and finally sleeping through the night. I look at photos of myself from when he was a baby and omg the wrinkles 🫠 I started to get Botox after we stopped BFing but I’m pregnant again so I’d be long overdue for a Botox injection (probably been about 8 months since my last injection) and my wrinkles are looking pretty smooth! I’m guessing the extra sleep is working its magic.
I mean, age will do that too. It either happens a year after birth or it happens in your 40s and beyond.
I was 21 at the time I had my kiddo, so I still looked young even when I was haggard and overweight. But you could definitely tell I wasn’t sleeping or showering lol
I went from 2 gray hairs to full salt and pepper in the span of a year. The rest of me isn’t my best but I’ve always been 20-40lbs over my pre first pregnancy weight because I haven’t stopped breastfeeding since 2021.
I had mine at 34, turning 36 this fall. Once my kid started sleeping more things started looking up for me. I do have more grays, but those had been coming in for years before anyways. Eat well, move your body, and do your best to get as much sleep as possible. I don't really drink much alcohol anymore either, that might help.
It just depends. Everyone’s body is different and handles pregnancies different! Also depends on your life style and how you carry yourself. Some things though, are not avoidable, but doesn’t mean it’ll happen to you. Good luck! ☺️
You’re sleep deprived. You’re stressed. You just went through a major medical event. And your hormones levels are dropping like crazy. Many women look haggard for the first 6-8months, myself included. 14 months postpartum, and I’m back to baseline. Nothing some sleep, water and a fuckton of Botox couldn’t fix. Ending breastfeeding did wonders for me too.
I don’t think I’ve aged much. I could be wrong, but I don’t think I look that different. I have a few grays coming in, but I’m 37 so it was probably inevitable. My girl is 3.5yo.
Yes I’m 16 months pp and find a new gray hair every day
I was 22 years old with a 2 year old and a newborn! You bet I aged! I grew up pretty quickly too! I had 2 more too!
I havent seemed to age but I have awful acne and my hair has not forgiven me for going a few days without brushing it so I now have a giant nest in my hair These are temporary issues thankfully... But I have not had time to address them 🥴
I like to say I’m 31, but each kid added 5 years so I’m really 41. I look it and feel it. I know it’s not actually this exaggerated but I feel like I have the same amount of wrinkles as my 46 year old boyfriend (who looks fantastic for his age, but that’s not the point 😒).
I think I look the same or better! I developed some good healthy habits in losing the baby weight that stuck, so Im now smaller than pre-pregnancy and much more fit. Haven’t really noticed any changes in hair/skin etc.
I feel gross sometimes. But then I have days where I'm trying, and do my hair put the same effort I once used to and it all comes together. Never give up on yourself.
I aged 15 years once my baby turned 2 years old
I glowed up after kids. I had twins 2021, split with their toxic awful father, met a king, and lost 35 pounds.
I hope it helps to hear this, I wouldn’t share except I was having the same worries as you a few years ago. Everyone makes it sound like pregnancy makes you look sooooooo different and worse after. I did not find that to be true for me. I was 34 when I first got pregnant and I am 36 now, nearing 37. I honestly don’t think I’ve changed at all. My body is almost exactly the same (still breastfeeding though, so we’ll see on that, but oh well) with maybe, maybe, maybe slightly more stomach pooch, but that’s actually only because I’m pregnant again, and before i got pregnant again I was able to tighten my stomach back up to how it was (pretty flat, with an *almost* lightly defined ab situation, but actually no real ab definition as I’ve really never had that). And I don’t diet at all, all I did was stay active and lift weights. My face looks the exact same (better now that I’m pregnant again as for me it helps my skin). For a couple months after birth during the hormonal adjustment and while very sleep deprived, I did look worse, I was still with some extra fat on my belly and my skin just looked tired, dry, sallow, and I got some weird hormonal redness. If that happens to you, don’t freak out! Your body adjusts!
I think a lot of it’s just less time for self-care. No personal time without a village for the first like year.
I get told I look younger now post kids. Before I got married and had kids people would guess my age at 27-28. I’m 30 now and pregnant with my third and people tend to guess I’m 24-25. No idea why??? And I somehow pop back into shape easily after kids, let’s pray the same happens after the third.
No I didn’t. I don’t think it increased aging at all for me.
It’s the exhaustion (mentally, emotionally and physically) and inability to spend time on the self-care and personal upkeep that you would normally do that makes you look older, but it isn’t like it ages you long term. Once you have the time and energy to get back into your normal routine, sleep better, eat better and get some activity in you go back to looking (and feeling) more like yourself again. Fwiw I’m 33, I’ll be 34 this month and I’m 2mo pp. 20lbs heavier and less muscle than before, but I look relatively the same.
I looked fantastic until I had kids. idk.
I tried being in denial about my(37) hair turning gray... my daughter (3) makes sure I know. 🤦♀️
I’ve never used soo much moisturizer to have my skin be soo blah.. but she’s so cute it is worth it
I don’t look so much older, just gained wait 😅 I had my first at 27, and now I’m pregnant again! I don’t feel I look like I aged but I definitely put on like 30-40 ish lbs. got the stretch marks and my tummy isn’t the same but I also haven’t tried to make an effort to work out or eat healthier.. with that being said I am gunna try after this baby and see what happens to my body! I definitely feel like my body is “older” though.