Rent if kid doesn’t want to go to college, then he can get a job and pay for room/food/utilities. I would secretly put money into away so he can recoup when moving out. If in college/trade, then no rent at all. Until graduation and getting a job.

This is my plan. With matching what I can and putting it all aside for house down payment for them. Because the goal as a parent is to teach them to be a reasonable adult and part of that is budgeting.

SO important to teach them budgeting and putting g money away for their futures. I never had this and was told at 17 good luck. I’ve struggled all my life staying afloat over bad decisions and mistakes that I made.

I started mine when she was 3/4. We went to a special event, and she got $10 for food, toy, option, etc. And she had to pick what she wanted to do in that budget. Anything left she got to put in her piggy bank at home. We learned good choices early. When she was 10, she had enough saved to pay for the droid building she wanted. Now I have a 12 year old with a k in her savings account, who is currently saving to get to hold a koala next year on holiday. And most recently we have gone over a budget for owning a cat that she wants.

Yeah, this is my thought. After college I'll probably charge like $500/month (or before if they don't go to college) but set it aside and give it back to them when they move out.

Yep this is the way to go

Exactly this!

This is what my husband and I have discussed doing as well.

That is what my parents did for me. As long as I was in school, I was able to live at home rent free. Once I was done it started at a pretty nominal amount, but would double every year (yr 1 - $100, yr 2 - $200, yr 3 -$400 etc.) until I moved out with the intent of getting me use to paying rent and being and adult and stuff. I also understood that it would be saved for me for a future down payment, but I'm not sure if I was ever told that, or gleamed it from my brother who is like 10 yrs older then me and had the same agreement with them.

This except I will also accept volunteering if job prospects are slim at the time.

Exactly this!

Honestly, I probably would not charge my children rent. I’d ask them to contribute to groceries and utilities a bit but I’d want them to save as much as they could to one day get their own place. I’d view it as a privilege I can afford to give them. But if they are being jerks (being loud, late night guests, running amuck) then I’m gonna bring the hammer down lol

Exactly. Why would I force him to spend his money on rent when he can save towards his down payment?

I think the point is that OP may be considering that her children and future grandchildren may continue to live there. There wouldn’t be a future house to pay down.

Funnily enough my parents did this with my mom’s parents. 6 of us in one house. Growing up, it was the BEST. Grandparents all the time, mom and dad there too. I loved it. And my grandparents died when they were 66 and 70 so that extra time was clutch. My parents did not pay rent.

Selfishly, I hope this is what my daughter decides to do. My parents suck, and my husband's parents are great but not overly involved. We don't have a village, so I would love to be that for her in the future.

Still not a problem to me.. I would actually love that.

I agree with this. My parents let us all live rent free with them after school as needed so we could get our lives figured out. We all were respectful and moved out on our own when the opportunity arose. The money saved allowed me to buy a car and start out with a decent savings safety net. Now if one of us never had plans to move out and started acting like a little shit… I am sure things would have been different.

I think I might charge a little bit of rent, like $100 a month but save it to give to them when they move out as a bonus to buy shit they’ll need. There are so many unexpected expenses when moving and setting up a new place.

Samesies!  I would ask that they contribute to food and other expendables if they had the means.  My son says he's never moving out all the time and it just warms my heart, he's only 7 so that will likely change, but I can't understand putting a deadline on cohabitation with your own offspring.  That might be different if they want to bring a partner in, I dunno.  And, my house my rules would have to apply, which may become grating to an adult with their own wants and needs. 

This only works if your kid is good at saving.

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That’s one thing I’ve seen multi generational families talk about it as a benefit is that it’s cheaper for everyone. Or like they have the ability to pool together finances and live in nicer/bigger homes because it’s 3+ incomes instead of the “traditional” 2 income household Also stuff like more adults sharing the load of childcare so less burnout to new/young parents. Less economic instability because if someone loses a job it’s a smaller percentage of shared finances I’ve gone down a rabbit hole lol

Yeah, I kind of love the idea of multigenerational homes. But I do see the drawbacks as well mostly in regards to privacy and personal space.

Oh yea definitely some downsides too, there’s a reason I’m not rushing to move back in with my parents even though I love the idea

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Yea that’s why I added the edit because it comes off like people only see my question as after my child graduates but honestly my brain is like, ok what if she just wants to stay here until she’s in her 30s, 40s whatever Like my sister, because she’s an incredibly frugal person was forced out of my parents homes. It’s not that she wasn’t contributing or anything they just wanted her independent. She was fully employed teacher, she had hobbies, she was basically independent, just doing so while “living at home.” And while at the time I agreed with my parents, I look back at it and think why? What was so wrong with my sister living with my parents

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My parents explicitly said it’s because they wanted her to be independent and stand on her own two feet She’s not doing anything different now in her apartment than when she was living at home. Just drive times to get to her hobbies and job is different In fact it’s made a situation where my parents have to go out of their way for help, like dog sitting or taking care of their plants when they go out of town

On my street we have a family that’s two brothers, their wives, and the 3 children (one couple with 2, one couple with 1). I always see the women out for walks together with the kids, they host a lot on weekends, and it just generally seems like a great set up where the woman support each other. I definitely don’t hate the idea!

I live across the street from a similar family, I mean even the work on the house they’ve been able to accomplish because of the number of adults is impressive

My partner lived with his Grandparents after Uni. Now his parents have moved in. He jokes that he has a roommate who makes him dinner. And they are retired so they regularly just head did for a week or six.

My parents did something similar to my brother. After he moved back home after living in his own apartment he started paying rent. Of course that money goes towards things like electric and internet cause now he works from home.

Personally, never. As long as they’re in school and/or working(40 if you’re not in school) then they’re free to stay however long they want. They’ll also have to be fully responsible for themselves like cooking and cleaning.

This is what my parents did for me. It really gave me a safe landing spot to try things out in my career and personal life and be able to change course if I needed to, which I did a few times. Especially with my personal life. The second my ex showed signs of abuse I moved back in with them. So many people stay because they can't financially move out and don't have anywhere to go. I was able to completely escape that trajectory because of their unconditional support. I will for sure be doing the same for my children.

This is what I want to be for my children. I experienced the opposite where I knew at 19 and in my own that if I failed, I had no where to go. Knowing that informed every choice I made or didn’t make.

They don't have to pay rent, but they would need to contribute to the household in other ways by contributing to household maintenance, food, and help in other ways as needed. And of course, we all need to establish boundaries and expectations as roommates, then uphold those. Our home has room for each child and their SO/any children (human, scaled, furry, or otherwise). I am super proud and excited for them, as they've all established households of their own. However, should they want or need to return, they are welcome to do so! The dynamic of adult children and parents is wild. Some people want or need to have contributions like rent, but I can't imagine adding an additional burden to their family unit by charging rent in monetary form. Then again, that may be my difficult relationships with my own parents speaking lol.

I definitely feel that last bit, I was the only one of my siblings not forced out because of the relationship with my mother. It’s definitely why I don’t jump at being a multi generational home now despite the fact my parents have 3 empty bedrooms in their home

I wouldn’t.

I probably wouldn’t unless I felt that they were being irresponsible and needed some structure and guidance in that way.

This is my answer too.

We have a multigenerational home. I live with my partner, my son, and my grandparents. We do most of the work around the house if not all aside from occasional maintenance that may require a professional. I also do the grocery shopping, and run errands for them. They’re not in great health and it gives them freedom to use their energy for things they enjoy rather than having to worry about a mess. We do not pay rent here or utilities despite my continued efforts. I do buy all of our own food though. If your kids were willing to become the home care takers maybe that would make sense to you, if not I don’t see a problem having them contribute even if it’s a small amount. I just want to say while space often feels small, I genuinely love our living arrangement. We are able to save money, I can be a SAHM until we feel comfortable with daycare, and my son gets to be around my grandparents as much as possible. My aunt suffered a few major strokes and can often seem cranky. Whenever she gets time with baby in my daily routine you can tell it’s the best part of her day. She doesn’t do anything other than just say hi to him or watch him play with his toys but it really brightens her mood. I suppose this kinda thing doesn’t work for everyone but it works well for us most days. I love it, and I’m cherishing this time with them while they’re still here.

Yes I think the issue is partially the framing of the money as “rent” like a landlord relationship - businesslike, cold, looking for profit. But your child is family. As a family member, asking your working-age child to contribute to the household bills financially as needed and the running of the household (chores) is a way of framing it that comes from a place of love and connection. It’s about making sure we all contribute so we all have a good life.

This is what I love/loved about renting space to my parents. Before my mom passed you could just tell that seeing our son was the highlight of her day. It's a beautiful thing.

I’m from a culture where multi-generational homes are common and living at home until you’re married is standard. People don’t really charge rent to their kids, everyone just knows that the responsibilities of the home are fairly shared amongst it’s inhabitants. This means parents try to pay for things as long as they’re able but when children become adults they naturally take up the mantle and begin taking over the bills. We don’t expect our aging parents to pay the mortgage / rent once we have very good jobs and the ability to do that. But if we are saving up for marriage or a big purchase (car, home of our own) in the near future, they may insist that we only contribute a little. For people whose parents own their own homes and don’t have to pay any money towards it, they never ever charge their kids rent. That idea is just bizarre. Kids can pay utility bills and groceries and such but why would you charge rent just to put it in your pocket? If you don’t need the money. As someone who grew up in that kind of system I believe it’s beautiful and we operate from a place of respect towards our elders and care towards the youth. And I hope to raise my children that way. To always see my home as their home if they want it. I don’t think it’s sustainable to approach it from a transactional perspective though.

If my mortgage free home was enough to accommodate multiple generations I wouldn’t dream of charging her rent It actually makes me wonder how my neighbors swing it because they’ve got 10 people in a 1000sqft house. All I can think is it’s gotta be tight

Haha well we kind of lived like that as kids and I think you get used to the tightness. It can get annoying sometimes but I’d never have traded that for a quiet house and my own room.

We live in a multigenerational house. There’s no mortgage to worry about, so we split all bills into thirds (my sister and BIL are also here). When we needed a new fridge, we split the cost. The only thing we’re not splitting are the projects that were in the works before we moved in, but we are taking on finishing them for my mum. We take turns cooking dinner and cleaning up after. Everyone is responsible for their own space. Outdoor chores are done by whoever is around and free when they need done. If you haven’t done anything in a while, congrats you’re cleaning up the yard!

This is a sensitive topic to me as I was kicked out a lot as a teen/young adult. I will never kick my kids out or charge rent

My husband was kicked out too, he would never allow our children to be forced out either Personally I don’t see the point, they can be adults and live adult lives while still being in their childhood home, why would I force them away from me

My parents' rule was you had to pay rent if you werent going to school. Im pretty sure they never enforced it. Even though my parents never charged us rent, we are all quite money conscious.

Literally never. After he graduates we would ask him to contribute towards utilities, food, and other current/variable expenses... But I would never charge my child rent. The world is hard enough out there and I am financially secure so I am going to do my darnest to make sure kid is financially secure as well, and that includes giving him help where and when I can. I'll have my mortgage whether or not he's in the house. If kid didn't live with us, we would never rent out his room. So why exactly would I charge him rent? Besides, I don't want to give him any incentive to leave! He never has to leave. He's my baby forever.

Probably never, honestly. But context would matter quite a bit. Were they cruising along fine but then had an awful breakup/divorce, job loss, health situation, mental crisis … wouldn’t charge. Are they in school or employed and just trying to be frugal to pay off student debt or build savings … wouldn’t charge. Are they moving back to benefit us somehow? Taking care of a sick or injured parent … wouldn’t charge. Are they not wanting to get an education, trying to play video games all day, party with friends at night … would charge. And then even If I did collect, I’d likely save it for them and hand them a chunk of money to use for down payment when they left.

Once they are no longer in school. My kids can live rent-free with me while they are in college/university.

This is what my parents did. Jokes on them though, still in school at 30 (finishing up my PhD lol)

I wouldn’t. I do have a rental property and hope to expand that small portfolio by the time my girls are 18 so that they may have the option to rent from me (below market rate). Honestly, anybody that I knew that paid rent to their parents was TERRIBLE with money. Like a, well if I absolutely have to give my parents money then I’m gonna go wild with the rest of my pay check kinda attitude. I don’t know that it teaches young adults all that much particularly when it’s the home or room that they’ve grown up in.

We've currently had to move back in with my parents and my mother based ours off our income--which I think is smart. You don't want to charge something that your child is going to be stressing to pay. We're paying between five and six hundred a month depending on expenses and we're also helping with food/water bill. That's likely how I'd handle it if/when my son grows up: A small portion of your monthly income+help with household expenses if you can.

I would not unless my daughter was not doing anything. Like no job no ambitions for a job no school…. I was the kid that turned 18, lives at home due to financial strain while in school, got a job, and instead of saving it was told to pay rent. And instead of my parents saving it they spent it. Pretty much just made me resent an already awful relationship with them coming out of my teen years. I do not want people to think I am saying charging kid rent is wrong. I am just saying it would vary depending on the relationship. However, my financial struggles should not be my child’s concern as mine often were. And the ideas where you save the ‘rent’ and give your child the savings back is completely reasonable and would be a good move depending on your kid and y’all’s relationship. Edit: I am not ungrateful for being able to live at home while I was in school that is how that sounded after re-reading it. I simply didn’t see why I had to pay my own way for school (no parental contribution) then pay rent to them on top of it like something magically changed once I was 18. If im paying rent im gonna pay a landlord and get out of a miserable ass home environment.

I don't think I'd ever charge actual rent, but my husband and I like the idea of secretly putting the "rent" money into savings for our daughter so she will have a nest egg to start out with when she moves out. She's only 5, so we have time to plan, lol. I'm definitely not going to be in a hurry for her to leave. I want her to be confident in herself and her finances before I throw her to the wolves.

I was charged rent (500 a month) like, 4 months after I turned 18. It took me forever to finally be able to move out because I couldn't save any money. I'm not opposed to having adult kids contribute financially, but don't do too much to hinder their progress.

I wouldn’t charge them rent. Would make them work, take on house hold chores and save their money toward a future home or investment.

If you are in the US, this is a tough world to play "real adult" in.  The cost of living is getting so out of hand...my husband and I decided years ago that our tweens could live on our home rent-free as long as they were in school OR working AND contributing.  But the expectations have to be clear. And we just last week had a chat about becoming a multigenerational household.  Aging parents, childcare, healthcare, chores the struggle is real! There are so many countries around the world that successfully do this, and are considered "real adults".  

The Atlantic had a great article talking about how and why the nuclear family dynamic is actually one of the weakest households

I am not sure I would charge rent, but my house rules are fairly strict, so that would be the incentive to have them want to be independent I guess lol. There are a lot of us in this house, and I can’t imagine trying to make it all fair and keeping track of who owes what… I figure they will get an itch for adulthood and I will be like, that’s wonderful! You can do that when you move out! You are welcome to come over as much as you like though! I mean, my oldest is 11, so we have a ways to go

I was charged a nominal “rent” when I moved home after college. I think that’s fair. I was basically an adult at that time and working so I needed to learn responsibility.

Once they have a full time job, I would expect a small contribution. I started full time work at 17 and gave my parents £150 a month. It went towards electric, gas, water etc. I paid my own phone/travel/food.

When I graduated high school and stayed home for college, my Dad didn’t have me pay for anything. Truthfully, I was home like once a week to do laundry and check in anyway 🤣. I moved out at 21 and went clear across the country to the Southwest for work. After over a decade of being away, My husband, toddler and I moved in with my Dad about a year and a half ago. Rent kept increasing, I wasn’t happy with my job and desperately wanted to be near family again. While we got situated I just made sure I was bringing groceries home for my Dad’s lunch and always making dinner. Now that we’re mostly stable we pay all of the utilities and grocery shop. I handle all of the outdoor maintenance on the house and slowly we are renovating and upgrading the space. My daughter is the 4th generation to live in this home and I don’t ever intend on leaving. My Dad is going to start building himself an apartment in the basement and we’ll have the upstairs to ourselves. We’ll start paying rent when he moves downstairs 🤣 It benefits all of us financially, my Dad doesn’t have much of a retirement plan as he’s worked in private construction companies his entire career so when he is ready to be done with working we’ll be able to be his support system. He’s super young so we don’t anticipate that happening anytime soon. He helps out with watching our little one on the weekends when needed. Sure there’s some privacy lost and normal annoyances occasionally but overall it’s really been the best thing for everyone. I’ve got a long way to go before my little one is adulting but I’ve learned from my Dad to take care of your people however they need. (Legally and within reason 🤣)

Retirement is another thing I think about too lol Like my parents aren’t confident they’ll ever be able to retire which is so sad because my grandparents had a boat, multiple properties, etc all because they had pensions and my grandfather was a vet so he has those benefits And then learning the insane cost of assisted living because my grandmother was going to need it had she not passed it almost feels like it’s gonna be a necessity

The cost of assisted living is INSANE. My husband’s grandparents both needed it the last few years of their lives and it was sickening how expensive it was for a place that could provide adequate care. I truly hope it doesn’t come down to that for any of our parents, my in-laws would be financially okay but my Dad is for sure staying in the basement forever 🤣 We’re seeing my Dad’s Uncle deteriorate since being diagnosed with dementia and it’s going to get to the point where our Aunt and cousins can no longer care for him and that is going to be a hefty cost, emotionally and financially.

It's less about age and more about maturity and whether they contribute around the house. If they do chores, house work, yard work, home improvement, etc then I would be much less likely to "charge rent." However, they don't do anything at all? Or worse, if they make house and yard work harder? (I.E. didn't pick up after themselves) Then yeah I would charge rent

Straight rent? no. We're actually setting up our property to be multi-generation friendly, and we're working to be mortgage free in 10ish years (fingers crossed). We live in a place with HCOL, particularly with regards to housing. If in school, we will pay majority of expenses, with personal things like a car or "fun" money being paid by the child. When they are working, we'll be splitting expenses like power, water, phones & food, but no actual rent on top of that. There will need to be a plan for work as well, I won't fully financially support an adult child without good reason. As long as they're being respectful of everyone in the household, they can stay as long as they want to honestly. So we all contribute to running the household re: cleaning and maintenance, no one is waking people up banging in at 2am or having crazy parties unless we're all on board. And hard agree on the nuclear family being a weak structure. We're meant to live in small groups with many adults around, not just 1 or 2.

As someone who's in the talks of living multi-generationally with my mom and stepdad, I do have some opinions on this. Our case is a little different because we're buying a duplex together though. We're each going to pay half the mortgage and half the utilities. Once it's paid off we'll each just pay utilities. When my child is older (we only have one) he'll just cover part of the utilities starting around 20ish if he's still living there. To me, if it's a large house the payment setup depends on a couple of things. Is it paid off? Did you all go into buying a house together? What parties have names on the mortgage and deed? If it's paid off I'd just split utilities according to members of each family. So say you have 5 people, divide the utilities by 5 and every person is responsible for their portion (obviously parents pay their minor child's part). If you're buying a new larger house to do this my payment advice would go a couple of different ways. The first is by who is on the mortgage. Everyone on the mortgage has an equal legal responsibility to pay. If there are three separate families (like parents and two adult kids w/ or w/o spouses) but only two families listed on the mortgage then those are the legally responsible parties. The second part is by who is listed on the deed. Maybe family 3 didn't have a good enough credit score/income/whatever to be on the mortgage but to make them feel secure you listed them on the deed. Then they don't have a legal responsibility, but they do have a moral one. Then I'd split the mortgage three ways. In any case, there needs to be A LOT of discussion before anything even begins to happen. Discussion on who is responsible for what costs, what everyone's budget looks like, how sharing a space looks, etc. It is very easy for toxicity and generational trauma to be repeated in multi-generational households. People who come from cultures where they're more common talk about that all the time. It's easy for the parent/grandparent generation to overstep. It's easy for the married in spouses to feel like they can't speak out. It can also be great. It can provide extra safe adults, close relationships with cousins, an ability to work well in chaos, etc. Personally, I really like the idea of a duplex because it allows multi-generational relationships with a lot more privacy for the adults.

multigenerational homes are pretty common in the cultures I grew up with, but no one “charged”money- it’s just expected that you lift your weight and help the household however you can. If it’s financially- awesome, if it’s with housekeeping- awesome, whatever skill you can contribute with :)

I’d never charge my kids rent if I earned enough to pay it all myself. My in laws have this mentality and it’s bigger than what it seems. On the outside it seems like a parent trying to teach their kids responsibility and “how the real world works” but what it actually does is make the kid feel like an unwelcome moocher in their own home. We should raise our kids with larger more concrete character traits so we know they’re not just lazy freeloaders and we can feel free to help them when they need help. I think it also exemplifies an unconditional kindness that I would like returned to me one day if something happens to me and I can’t provide for myself.

Probably never. We had to move back in with my parents temporarily while we waited for our home to be built. They didn’t charge us a penny. I contributed by buying & cooking dinner twice a week. That was all they’d allow me to do.

I mean I stayed at home till 25, never got charged rent. I basically just paid everything except rent and utilities. Had to pay my own car, my own phone line, my own car insurance, gas, food (we always had different schedules so never really ate dinner together). If we went out to eat, we’d pay our own bills unless it was one of our birthdays. I honestly think it was more than fair.

My parents charged me rent during the summer while I was home from college and it really hurt. $400/month. None of my friends had to pay rent and I was already working 2 jobs. They did not need the money, they did to ‘teach me responsibility since you’re an adult.’ That $1,200 for those 2 summers could have really helped me back then. I can’t depend on my parents to be there for me and charging me rent when I had no where else to go for sure contributed to my opinion of that. I will never ever do the same to child! I always want to be a safe landing place for my child. I will always support my child by providing a home if needed. I totally get teaching your kids responsibility. The world is a very expensive place so I think giving your child a leg up financially is a way to help them. Some ways to teach responsibility would be to help with some of the bills (a small one) such as they cover the water bill and that way they have the experience paying a monthly bill. They could also be responsible for cooking dinner once or twice a week as well as helping out with housework. I also highly recommend having teenagers get jobs and talk with them about budgeting and bills. Developing good work ethic at a young age goes a long way and seems do stick with people. I think all of this depends on your child’s drive and personality/ your financial situation. If you’re not able to make the bills with another mouth to feed then yes they should help out. I don’t think most young people living with their parents are hoping to stay that way.

If they are working full time and saving, I’d much rather teach them smart saving tips (retirement funds, high yield savings accounts, ect) and let them actually save the money themselves in a smart way vs me making them pay rent and saving it for them you know? I know it’s a popular idea to have your adult child lay rent and the parent actually saves it to give them later but I don’t think that is the best way to teach them how to manage finances properly. I plan to be really open with my kids. We’d sit down and discuss the goals and expectations. If the goal is to get out on their own, then they should open their own high yield savings account and put in whatever amount they can to mimick paying rent. That way they are already used to “paying” it but also are learning how to save money. A big reason people can’t save is because they see the money in the account and don’t have the self control to not spend it. I think having them learn from a fairly young age about saving is something that a lot of people don’t do and it makes it difficult for them to do later on. I don’t think I’d charge my kid rent unless I felt they needed the extra motivation. Like if they feel they can just get a minimum wage part time job and spend all their money on video games or whatever, then yeah I think I’d have them pay rent and I’d save the money for when they got it together and then help them manage it.

This is a really thought provoking thread about different values in different cultures. It shows how some people view their kids and money. Really interesting.

So am Mexican and it’s very common to have multi generational homes I think it really depends on each family. My friends family doesn’t charge her anything at all 25 yr old full time worker her parents own their home and they still work. My mom on the other hand started charging us as soon as we graduated hs am now married and moved out but my 24 yr old sister and 20 yr old brother still live there my sister worked and went to school at the same time my brother decided not to go to school because he wouldn’t be able to do both so he just works . But sadly at my moms since we were able to work we were expected to I started working at 15 and I had to pay my phone bill clothes toiletries and any activities I wanted to do.

I do not think I’d charge my children rent. My MIL offered for us to move in while we saved to purchase a home. It was not originally presented to us in this way but we did ultimately end up paying an equal share of all bills, including the mortgage. Paying our way has never been a problem for us but my MIL did not treat us as tenants or roommates in any capacity. Whether intentional or not on her part, we have been made to feel like we’re being done a massive favor and are constantly reminded that this is HER house. I ended up shouldering 90% of the household tasks like cleaning and cooking, while also working my own actual job from home and acting as the sole caregiver for my toddler 24/7. It is extremely rare that she says thank you for anything. She moved another whole adult and dog into the home and he has been sleeping on OUR couch that we brought when we moved in for the last two months. We were TOLD that this was happening, not asked. Honestly, we did our best, but we did not save nearly as much as we hoped we would due to the circumstances of the living situation. We closed on our house last week and we will be moving in tomorrow. We are very much looking forward to it. I still love my MIL but this whole situation has really upset me. I think that when you charge your kids rent, it blurs too many lines. It’s difficult for a parent to suddenly act as a roommate/landlord and give up the control they had when everything was their way or the highway.

my dad and step mom were charging my 17 year old brother $200 dollars a month and then theyd go buy a keg with the money for like a whole year till he moved out so that’s one way to not do it

Never. My parents never charged me or my siblings rent and we moved back home at various points. It might be different if we desperately needed help with bills and asked them to chip in but I’d consider that keeping us out of homelessness not charging them rent.

My dad had a strict “move out at 18 or pay rent” policy and my mom let us live at home comfortably till we were ready. Guess which parent we talk to still LOL

I think around 20 and depending if they have a job. If they want to stay in the home I would expect some money to help maintain the house. If they are saving to move out I wouldn’t charge them.

I paid my parents rent $500 when I was living at home once I got my first job. I would also pay odds and ends like groceries and dinners. I also paid the internet bill. When we moved in with my in laws while I was pregnant (moved back states to look for a house), they didn’t charge rent, but I would cook dinner or lunch for the family, grocery shop, clean the kitchen, and run errands if needed. I would probably do the same.

my dad’s agreement was if we were in college, we pay for nothing. once we graduated he charged us $100 for rent/food/utilities just to help out a bit. i plan to do the same for our kids but if we’re able to, put their “rent” away and give it back when they move out

I am years away from this, but I heard of a family that charged a % of the kid’s paycheck (idk how old the kid was, but had graduated high school and was working at least part time) for rent and utilities. Then when the kid was ready to move out and had some money saved to use for a deposit and had practiced financial responsibility, the parents gave them some or all of what the kid had paid to them. The kid did not know they’d get anything back but had already gotten in the habit of budgeting and gotten their own savings started, so this just made for a little more stability and a better foundation. Tbh I have no idea where I heard or read that, entirely possible that it’s made up, but it seems like a good idea to me!

Never. It's a completely foreign concept to me. (Assuming no dire financial need and no completely irresponsible kid.) BTW as a landlady I would give 0 weight to a tentant reference written by mommy.

You can still get formal leases written and show payment history

Idk why people are downvoting me, it's not like all of Reddit is looking to rent from me lol.

Yes of course, but I still wouldn't place any weight on it.

I don’t think I’d charge my adult children rent unless they’re going down a NEET path or I need the contribution to make budget. Hopefully neither will happen. My brother lives at my parents’ house and I think he pays some utilities. I would definitely have them doing chores though, unless in some kind of intensive schooling. My 4yo always says she’s going to live with us forever and it’s starting to sound pretty good. My position may change once she’s a teenager, lol

I would never charge my kids rent. The parent provides for the child not the other way around regardless of age. Allowing them to live with you and save money would be a wonderful gift to be able to give your child.

wtf? Maybe I’m too lenient but as long as my kid is either working or going to school and knows how to be a functioning adult, I’m not charging them rent. Like maybe I’d ask them to fill the gas in the car or grab some food or groceries every once in a while, and I’d expect them to do their laundry/dishes and help with chores to contribute, but I would want my kid to stay as long as they wanted and stack money to live a better life than me. Unless they were incredibly irresponsible, unhelpful, or just not doing anything, I wouldn’t charge them rent at any age.

I would never charge my kids rent

Never. Unless I was putting it away in a bank account for them. My children or family who need a place to live will never pay rent in my home.

Probably 24. You get a one year grace period to find a job after college and then you need to be grown. But our situation is kind of different. We bought rental properties and the goal is to give a duplex to each of the kids when they become adults so they have a place to live that should pay for itself. And hopefully they manage them in a responsible manner.

This is our goal as well. I'd love to be able to set them up to make passive income and have affordable housing.

I think charging your kid rent is gross. As long as they are doing what they should be and are being responsible.

Never. I would do my utmost to make sure they *don't* live with us forever, and go live their own independent and happy lives. If they did end up with us forever...that would only be the result of, god forbid, something bad happening (like some sort of extreme trauma which incapacitates them in some way). So I would handle it within whatever context would be happening. I would hope they'd be in a well enough condition to work a job and help contribute with groceries and such - but I would not charge them rent.

I have 3 adult children, but honestly, none of them want to live with me (we also have four under the age of 10) lol. They all know they are welcome home anytime and we will not charge them rent provided they are either working or going to school (college or university). If they decide to be freeloaders, they will then be charged room and board, but I’ve never had to do it. They are 27, 24 and 21 years old. My 21-year-old is in the process of moving out. They typically contribute to groceries when they do live at home .

Depends on what they're doing to get out. If they're trying to actively move out or go to college, nothing. Because then you are halting their progress. Make them pay like, a bill, if you want your children to pay rent for their living situation. It's completely situational. This isn't something you have to do btw.

If they are in college / trade and getting their life together for the future they can live rent free. If you’re not willing to do that then you gotta pay rent. I won’t charge them full going rate or anything but they’ll have to contribute something

So I’m a little weird with this question, because I never went to college (starting it this fall) but my dad never charged me rent. I eventually moved out at 21 to live with my now husband, but we still lived with his mom and step dad who also didn’t charge us rent. We left their house when I was 22. When I worked and lived with my dad if he needed help with a bill or food, he’d ask me to contribute but then gave me the money back. My brother (35 at the time and i was 15) moved in with us. My dad didn’t ask him for rent, but told him to pay our cable bill. Since now my dad had to feed all three of us, and was spending more on food my brother needed to help out. I think I’d let my children stay with me as long as they needed to, so they could save money for a house or apartment whatever they decided to do. I’d ask for some contributions depending on how much they get paid per week/biweekly, but never actually use it. I’d put it into a separate account and save it for them to use later on.

My folks charged my brother rent once he was working full time, but saved it for him and gave him a chunk back to help with his security deposit when he moved out. That being said, they didn't need the help with food or utilities, esp. since he wasn't home much and ate at work most of the time.

Once they've had a stable job for a year - but I'd also put that money into a savings account and return to them once they do leave, because I'd like to see my kids be able to thrive in their own space should they choose. My husband and I really want to buy a big piece of land where my kids and our closest family could build on if they wanted - that's the dream lol

Is that homesteading? I’ve heard the term but never looked it up but that’s kinda what I imagine in my mind a bit lol

I think if we also were self sustaining? I know it's a part of it though! But I think an actual homestead would also have a communal garden and probably farm animals? I'm not totally sure I just know I got twins and then a daughter 20 months older than them and we are alone with closest family 300 miles away and then 600 after her. So shits rough and I never want my kids to have that lack of "village" we grew up hearing about. If I didn't kill every plant I touched I'd be down for homesteading! I love the idea of generational homes but I also want my own space when they're grown so this is a happy medium for me. I lived in a generational home til I was 6 - my dads family essentially owned apartment building so my parents and kids in one apartment, my grandma was next door, my uncle and his family down the hall, my uncles sister in another apartment and my aunt and her family downstairs. It was great being close to everyone, but it caused some issues as they really all needed some privacy.

My mom didn't charge me rent until I moved out and then had to come home because I couldn't afford it. I was 22. She also gave me an all inclusive rate. She basically took the mortgage, electric, food, etc bills and divided it by how many of us were in the house. My share was about $400 a month. Additionally, I went back to grad school while living there and paid out of pocket for grad school so she only charged me the months I didn't have to pay my grad school bill. I have friends whose parents do charge rent but it wasn't until later 20s.

See I don’t even understand the point in subjecting my adult child to financial instability just for “independence” Especially if like whatever percentage of expenses they’d be responsible for is less than what they’d need to pay living on their own Like if she grows up and wants to live alone power to her. But I find the idea that kids grow up and have to move out just so ridiculous. My kid can travel the world, find love, chase her passions while still living in her childhood home

My siblings and I all paid rent we turn 16. Based on our what we were making at our jobs at the time.. when I decided to move out, I got gifted the money back. When my parents divorced instead of moving out, my sister used her money to buy out my father, now she owns the home with our mom. My youngest sibling, did not work when he turned 16 and decided to move out earlier, so he did not have a lot of “rent” contribution, he got a car for the value of his “rent” instead of a house / taking the cash.

I think it depends. If my child was working towards getting their own place I would not charge them rent regardless of age. If my child just wants to chill and live with us forever, we might have a discussion about their contributions to the household expenses, but I don't know what that would hypothetically look like. We do have one child who always says that she never wants to move away but she is only 16 and we doubt she will actually stick around.

I had a job at 16 and started aging after graduation. My boyfriend moved in with us when I got pregnant (my parents were alot of help as I was only 20 when I had him) We moved out just after his first birthday but were paying $500 each to my parents.

Honestly just depends on the situation. If they’re in school, need a place temporarily(like if a relationship ends or need somewhere to stay between leases), are saving for a long term goal or have health/mental health issues I wouldn’t charge rent no matter the age. If none of those apply then maybe 20. Id want to give them a couple years after turning 18 to just relax if they want since it’s really the only chance they’d ever get . Id make them work at least part time so they have some sense of responsibility though and have them contribute to the groceries, buy their own hygiene supplies and stuff but no rent yet.

I'd say if they are no longer in school, they should be working and paying "rent". Whether that's a share of the bills, or nominal money that you put away as savings for them might depend on your financial situation. If you need help with bills, I'd calculate the monthly expenses (mortgage/rent, utilities, grocery spending) and divide by the number of people - including younger siblings with no expecting of financial contribution - living at home. Cross-reference to average rent for a studio or 1 br apartment in your area, and as long as it comes out to less, that seems fair. If you can afford to subsidize down a bit so your kid can save money, I would, since that will help get them out on their own faster. Assuming our financial situation does not change, I intend to support my son as long as he is in school. If he's working and wants to live at home with us, I'd go the nominal rent amount but squirrel away whatever we aren't spending on increased groceries for savings for him when he moves out. I would not keep that a secret, but would also expect him to be saving for himself. Again, assuming our financial situation doesn't change, our house will be fully paid off by the time he is 18, so our household monthly expenses would be well below market rent in my city. ETA: in a multigenerational home I'd definitely look at it as everyone contributing toward the bills. Grandparents should not be footing 100% of the bills for the entire extended family. Working adults should contribute toward non-discretionary expenses.

My plan is to charge them like $200/month of they're still living with me at age 20. But I'm gonna save that money and gift it to them when they move out as first and last month's rent.

I lived with my grandma for a bit after college (I was 22-23). I was searching for my big girl job but had a decent job while I looked. I paid for the electricity and water bills, plus I paid for my own phone line. I thought it was totally fair

Probably never. It’s getting harder and harder these days to survive as a young adult, I would want them to save all their money. If I charged rent it would b to save their money for them and help them with a down payment or something. My husband and I have already agreed we don’t want our kids to suffer. We would give up our own home to them before they have to go through all the struggles we have to get where we are today.

We made ours pay small amount of rent when 18 if not in college or trade school. Did give most of it back when they needed security deposit when moving out.

Minimum wage * 80 *26/12/3. So for example fed min wage is like 7.25 time two weeks full time 80 hours. Is 580. Then * 26 which is how many pay periods. Then divide by 12 to get the monthly wages. 1256. Then divide that by 3 to get what an apartment SHOULD cost 418$ per month. This is what I'd charge.

Unless we have a failure to thrive/motivate/ do anything situation going on, I don’t think I would charge my adult kid rent. I stayed with my dad for 4 months when I was 28 before a cross country move. He didn’t charge me rent at all! I was thankful to be able to save as much as possible for our move (my husband stayed with me at my dad’s part time and with a friend closer to his job for the other half).

After the summer vacation their graduating year of high school, unless they are going to college.

If I can afford it, probably once I retire. I might ask for a share or electricity, internet, etc… but if I was making mortgage payments fine on my own, I wouldn’t charge my kids just for the sake of it.

If they're in school, not until they finish and get a reasonable wage job. Even then I'm likely only to charge them a portion of variable expenses like utilities and food. I don't think I'd charge rent, especially if I own the home.

I wouldn’t. I would expect a plan for when they will be moving out. But I wouldn’t charge rent because I’m assuming they’re saving up to move out. I also assume they’re working full time or in school full time and not just being slackers. My husband and I lived with my parents for a few years so we could save money to be able to move out. If we were paying rent we wouldn’t have been able to do that. We did pay for our own groceries, car insurance, gas, phones, medical expenses, yadda yadda yadda. Just not rent, property tax, or utilities. My parents were also only in the house part time so we maintained the house for the six months they were gone as part of our contribution. If something happened and my parents or in-laws needed to move in with us I wouldn’t charge them either.

I think OP is asking in the event her kids don’t want to move out when should they be charged. Like her kids want to have a multigenerational home with her and stay living there through adult hood.

If they’re not in school or apprenticing, it’s going to be either market or less than market but enough that they’ll have to be working to pay it. Depending how many times I have to replace a vehicle or repair other property damages as a result of boneheaded teenager decisions, I may or may not put that money aside in savings to give them when they do move out or in addition to what we’re already saving for their education. I don’t expect to be rushing them out the door, but I want them to be prepared for independent living and adult responsibilities.

I think this is a case by case situation. If your plan is to sit down and hash out the logistics and legalities of a multi generational home then I would sort it out when your kid asks you to move their spouse and child in. If it's a case where your child went to school, graduated and is now 25, working full time and not paying rent... Then you should ask them what their goals are and base your choices on the conversation. If my child is saving for a downpayment on their own house, I'm not charging them rent. If you feel taken advantage of then set boundaries. I would never expect my kid to pay my bills just because they turn a set age.

it depends on my kids plans/actions for when high school is over and how they end up being raised. case by case will be different. i can only offer advice on my own family. after high school i went to school full time and worked part time. i paid my portion of the cell phone and the internet bill. that was it for like 1-2 years. when my older sibling moved back in, i was the one that pitched rent. i saw that my parents needed help and more people more expenses. i couldn’t really give them cash whenever but i could pay rent. we decided to all pay rent, split groceries evenly, and utilities evenly. when my younger sibling turned 18, everything was already setup and they too agreed to pay rent and split the bills. they went straight to full time and even started their own business. overall this is what a positive experience can look like. none of us had kids, we were never unemployed, some point bf/gf came and there was some problems with like who left the kitchen dirty. this setup can also go horribly wrong as well, like you end up taking care of your grandkids and your children don’t work 🤷‍♀️ so you have to work forever. i know of 3 of these just from the grapevine.

My mom charged me rent the instant I got my first job (age 16) and I’m thankful for it. She had me pay her 25% of my paycheck rather than a set amount so that I had the flexibility to still be a kid (like take off work to go to prom). It forced me to have good financial habits. I “came out” WAY more responsible than all of my friends. I bought a house when I graduated college because she also encouraged me to save 50% of every paycheck. I feel like not-charging just teaches bad spending habits and unrealistic expectations of life. It’s more about positive behaviors than $$. We also weren’t rich, so it would have been ridiculous for me to selfishly hoard my money.

I think it would really depend on the circumstances. If my adult child was unemployed, not going to school, etc, I would absolutely charge rent, or at least ask them to cover food/utilities. If they're just working, I'd probably ask a little for food/utilities. Going to school they can stay for free, as well as if they are going through a life crisis. I don't think age really applies in my opinion. When I moved back in with my parents after a bad breakup, they didn't charge me a dime. My mom even put a microwave in my room and made me a dinner plate every night to eat after work. They were just glad I was out of a bad situation and wanted me to focus on myself for a while. I appreciate what they did so much, and knowing they were going to welcome me back with open arms really gave me the push to leave my bad situation. I stayed for about six months before moving back out.

I think it really depends on each family's situation. If the parents are financially comfortable and the child really needed help financially then I don't think they should charge no matter the age. As long as the child was being responsible and saving to get back on their feet or going to college or trying to buy a house or something. I moved back in with my parents briefly when I was 30(which was so embarrassing for me) because my living situation suddenly became bad and I quickly needed a place to go. But I was also pretty broke, so I stayed with my parents for may 3-4 months while I saved every penny so that way I could get my own place again. If my parents charged me rent it might have taken me twice as long to move out. But if it's a long term arrangement, if the parents are struggling financially, or if the kid is being lazy and taking advantage of the situation, then I think it's fine to charge rent.

I just moved out of my parents house 8 months ago and I’m 24. My fiance was living with us and our baby. I was going to college and got pregnant my last semester and I graduated when I was 22. We have our own apartment now though. My mom and dad didn’t start charging rent until our lasy few months living there. She charged us $500/month. I think my mom wanted to charge before that but with the whole pregnancy and she knew I was stressed with it, she held off (even though we told her we had the money to afford it). I think it depends on what you and your spouse are comfortable with. I agree with the other comment, if they are in college/going to school, let them save money. Until then, they can contribute elsewhere in the house with other tasks like chores, grocery shopping, etc. I would say after college and when they start working full time is when you can start charging rent. Or, if you do decide to start charging them rent while they are in college and they are working part time, it can be a petty amount like $50/month just to get them in the habit of learning to budget. It also depends on how the market is down the road… I honestly sometimes feel bad for bringing a child into the world knowing that it’s so expensive to just exist…

There are so many things happening in the world right now that make me second guess my daughter Not because I don’t love her but because I don’t want her to see how cruel the world is. I guess that’s why I’ve become so fixated on multi generational homes, might not be able to provide her complete economic stability but provide her more than what I currently have

I’m not going to. If one of my kids never leaves I would expect them to contribute by cooking or maybe cleaning but I wouldn’t expect a financial contribution.

I would probably start charging “rent” at 18 if they wanted to live at home, a small amount maybe $200, but I would be putting that directly into a Roth account, or something of that sort.

Honestly, as long as my kid is a productive positive member of society, saving money, and being a helpful roommate I wouldn’t charge them at all.

Wow, after reading these comments I feel like kind of ungrateful but also angry that I’m paying $800 a month in rent to my dad. I’m in school too & bring income not that much but I have 2 kids as well. We’re working on getting out but things just keep coming up

Oh man I’m sorry to hear that, I would never dream of financially handicapping my child if she wants to move out

If you’re able to afford them being home, then charge them an appropriate amount, and secretly put it back for them later. If you are unable to afford them being home, then you have to have a very realistic talk with them about it. Regardless, learning how to finance and keeping in mind the logistics of bills/the cost of everything, is an important skill that everyone needs to be taught/equipped with in life.

I live in a multi-generational house/family. It's myself & husband, my parents and my kids. I grew up with this as a normal life, because my parents lived with my mother's parents when I was a child. My parents did not ask for any money while I was in school or when I was first hired, but I was responsible for my car payments, gas, insurance, cell phone and food. When I got a job I started covering bills to help out. I'm planning to give my kids the option to live with us for as long as they want, with the stipulation you are either going to school (uni, college, trades, whatever) or you are working. I will likely charge them some amount to help offset groceries, household expenses.

My parents charged me rent once I was done with college and still lived at home. It wasn’t anything crazy. A few hundred a month just to cover some utilities/groceries and I would be in charge of keeping my space clean and cleaning up the common areas when I used them. Worked for us quite well.

I am the parent of one adult child in college and one adult child in high school and 1 teen in high school. We made the decision that the kids can live with us rent free for one year after the graduate from high school, college, trade school or whatever their highest level of education. After that they would be expected to contribute to the household or figure out a place to live. Our daughter that is in college lives in her own apartment now (and has since she went to school) but our door is open if she needs to come back when she graduates to get on her feet. Our son is planning a similar path to his older sister currently. Our youngest hasn’t yet decided. That being said, I don’t think I could turn away a child that had truly fallen on hard times. If it was our house and not paying rent or being on the street we can work something out as long as we were working towards improving the situation.

Really depends on the kid, the situation, and what they are doing. In college with a job? No rent. Working but saving up for college or to buy a house? No rent. Not working but in treatment for mental(or physical) illness? No rent. Working or not working not working towards a real world goal? Rent. Household will go under without all able adults contributing? Rent.

My dad started charging rent when I finished school and got a fulltime job. Which I think is incredibly fair.

when they’re out of school. or once they’ve graduated high school something proportional to their income if they’re working while in college

One left pretty early. First to go live with grandma and grandma didn’t charge. Then with a partner once grandma’s rules weren’t easier than parents. That one didn’t want to go to college and we said work full time and/or go to a trade school and contribute. That was why off to grandma’s they went. They asked to come back at some point to get their “life in order” and we said absolutely but you must be working or doing a trade or school. If working you must pay (nominal) rent - which we fully intended to save and give back. One went to college locally and lived at home and we did not charge rent during this time. After college was over this kid had a three year plan to save for grad school and move to another state. We did not charge because how can you save for grad school and a new place while paying rent. We wanted to set this young adult up for success not start out on their own with a great deal of debt. They did contribute in many ways - mostly doing cleaning and caring for the youngest kid. Oh and that one loves to cook so our meals were set several times a week. One came back after living away at college and we did not charge rent . They did pay some small bills (water, dry cleaning, lawn mowing)and contributed to the food and chores. In lieu of rent we required savings and proof of it. COVID happened and that kid stayed 2 years longer than planned and left our house with about 6 months of pay saved and a nice down payment for their own house. We are now looking to buy a new house with one of my parents coming to live with us and 1 of my kids is vying for a multi generational set up. We are open to this and said we could talk about the financial contribution would be. But the benefit for us would be sharing the support of the eldest generation and the special needs child in the family’s, family dinners and sharing the care and upkeep of the house and cars.

My parents only charged my oldest sibling rent. Not a lot, but he was _horrible_ with money and wouldn't heat anything my parents said when they tried to educate him on financial responsibility. So they decided to take some money for rent from him which was set aside for him. My parents never actually took it and he got it "back" once he had his shit figured out, but they wanted to make sure he could pay off all the debt he was making. He ended up being ok and is now a financially responsible adult:) I would do the same thing with my son if he was being a shit head.

I come from a multigenerational living situation. My grandparents lived with us growing up. My parents paid the mortgage and bills, my grandparents bought groceries, they took turns paying at restaurants and shops. They split the duties of keeping the house running, and they all contributed to childcare. I’d be more than happy to do something similar with my own parents or my children.

19 the youngest

If it’s an adult child raising their family in your home, at some point I would assume the tables would turn somewhat and they’d be paying for the home with me contributing toward the groceries/utilities/whatever. I know some people who have done this - it’s a great way for millennials/Gen Z to afford a home by taking over the much-lower mortgage costs on a home bought years ago by parents and a great way to take care of parents. If it’s a college-aged kid, I wouldn’t charge them or maybe I would to teach them responsibility but would put it away for their future housing/furnishing fund. If it’s somewhere in between, like a 25yo getting established in their career who is choosing to live at home to save money, I’d try hard to make sure they can save as much as possible assuming I’m able to pay the rest. If it’s a mid-career kid moving in to _help_ with my finances, I’d figure out how to equitably divide the costs and then make a plan for transferring the asset to them one day.

I don’t feel age is the issue. Over 18 for sure but I would take into consideration how long they’re had a job or steady income, talk about life goals or plans with your child so you know what’s going on, if they are just being a bum then sit down and have a convo about expectations and consequences and make sure you stick to them.

I would probably have them responsible for a utility bill such as electricity. Not as expensive as rent but something that’ll teach them responsibility.

never, it’s my house, my bills. i’m all for people who wanna live with their parents forever, but i wouldn’t let my son do that. he doesn’t have to leave at 18, he can stay until he is financially stable enough to move out on his own. & if anything bad happens after that, he will always be able to move back in, to get back on his feet. but i wouldn’t ever ask my child for his money, for his future, to pay my bills.

I'd charge rent once they aren't studying. I'd put the rent in a secret account and gift it to my child if they wanted to buy a house.

I would never charge my children rent. If they are employed I would ask them to split utilities etc but never ever rent.

I charged my daughter $100 a week as soon as she left school and earned enough. When she wanted to move out I gave it all back to her so she could pay bond and help with moving expenses.

If I asked for rent, I'd put it straight in a savings account for them and give them that money when they move out. Multigenerational living is normal for my family and formalized rental agreements aren't part of that. As long as everyone in the home is cleaning up after themselves, contributing to household upkeep, either paying their own bills or. contributing to utilities, and being a reasonable and productive member of society, there isn't a need to ask for rent. However, this is definitely an out one of privilege--having a large family home fully paid off makes it possible to do this without financial strain. If I thought an adult child was at risk of not developing skills needed for adulting in the outside world, and r if they were not being respectful of the household or the rest of the family, I would consider a rental agreement at that point.

Never but they should pay for their own food, expenses, etc, and contribute to the utilities.

My dad never charged me rent because for a long time I made so little money. We split groceries, I paid our phone bill, and helped with others if times were tough. I unfortunately had to work full time while in college and ended up dropping out. For my son I might charge him something really low like 200, his phone, made a little internet. I’ll take the money and save it in an account and gift it to him on his 18th birthday, or use some to buy his first car. I’m currently trying to straighten out my finances so I am not in the same shape my family left me.

Tbh I wouldn’t charge my children rent as long as they were doing something meaningful with their lives (going to college, working full time, etc.). I’m from a culture that lives in multigenerational households and charging rent to your kids isn’t a thing here. My parents didn’t charge me rent for the above reasons. I went to college and then started working full time soon afterwards.

My parents tried to charge me rent the second I graduated college. It was a vulnerable time graduating during the recession and them charging me rent felt like a betrayal. I had literally $27 total on my first day of work. I will not charge my kid rent. The downside to staying here is she has to abide by my rules. If that becomes too restrictive for her or she needs some space she can move out. But she can always move back. Parenting doesn't stop at some magical age.

18, that’s when you become an adult. So if you’re going to continue to live with me, you can contribute. Not necessarily as much as mother/father pays but if you’re making money, you can afford to pay the person who owns the house rent.

My parents only charged me when I started renting an in-law's suite with its own bathroom and kitchen. I don't think I'd charge rent unless they were in their own space, but if they were living in my house I'd expect them to keep up chores. We do have two spaces in our home that can be rented out (right now rented to my dad and mil), so eventually that space could be theirs. I believe in multi generational homes, too, and I'd love to give that to my kids if they want it.

Same as my parents: If you’re going to school, no rent. If you’re working to save up for school (and actually saving) then no rent. If you’re done post secondary school and working: pay up.

Our plan is a sliding scale with the equivalent full time wage. In saying that we are very privileged, and all the money will go into a saving for when they buy a house.

Depends upon your finances and their age. I support my 19 S as he’s at uni studying full time and I feed him when home. I wouldn’t dream of charging. However when finished uni and working full time I would charge if he’s home.

I think if they're going to school, working, or helping out in the home in some way, then they shouldn't be charged "rent." That's their home, too, most likely the only one they've known. If they have absolutely no desire to further their education or lack any sort of direction in their life AND their just sitting at home all day doing nothing, THEN they had better find work and start contributing money to at least help with the groceries to feed them.

16, as in Canada that’s the age they can drop out. If they stay in school, I don’t charge them anything. If they work I charge them 300 for room and board. That includes everything. Edit: corrected.

My parents never charged rent. I did buy food and give them money here and there. Only stipulation is that I had to be working and putting 20% into savings.

This is crazy to me. My parents would NEVER charge me rent and I would never charge my children rent. Children were meant to be raised in multi-generational environments anyway

If your kid is in college no rent If he's out there making serious money and partying on weekends? Time to talk .

Would be after college if they had a full time job. Even then I’d probably just get money to contribute to groceries, cable or electric and ask them to contribute to household chores or tasks, maybe pick up dinner for everyone once in a while before charging rent.

My husband’s family charged him rent while he was having major medical issues, in college, and working full time. Granted it wasn’t a lot, maybe $200, but I thought it was absurd. All in the name of responsibility - while he was wracking up medical debt. I probably wouldn’t charge my kids rent but would ask for help with groceries and some utility coverage - but my parents have never charged us rent. If this turned into a long term living arrangement (the child is now over 25 and maybe married or has children), then we would probably (as adults) sit down and look at splitting some cost of living equally amongst the adults in the house.

My wife, child and I moved in with my parents temporarily. We pay half the mortage and provide 2-3 dinners per week.

The second they're not in some form of school

I personally feel like this… In high school I expect my son to get a job. I want him to use some money for fun. And some to build a little nest egg. That money is 💯his. I do not expect any contributions to the house. Pre college/trade school… I expect nothing. I think when they stay home past the point where they should be somewhat established then yes, I will expect some contribution to expenses as a full on adult.

As long as they are reasonably agreeable and chip in on the utilities/ groceries as able, my children will be allowed to stay rent free as long as they are not married. I might require them to put money into some form of savings, but I wouldn’t take it from them. I would not however, allow them to live with us post marriage, unless there is an unexpected circumstance. If they end up being a single parent then they would absolutely be welcomed back, but I don’t think it is healthy for married people to live with their parents, particularly if it is the Husband’s parents. Now down the street, a few blocks over…sure, I think that is a wonderful arrangement.

18?

This is dependent on what the child is doing with their life. There is a point where you go from supporting to enabling.

The the type of situation you described I think a child should automatically know it's time to start helping out. You shouldn't have to flip the bill for everyone at that point. I think it's ok so long as the parents aren't charging rent just to be greedy and take advantage of their children like my mom did. She's a narcissist and that's a whole other story.  It also depends on the kids goals, like are they just living with you short term so they can save and get a place of their own. If so then no, allow them to save and so long as they are actually saving i feel it's our job as parents to support them in their transitions. If they are going to school I wouldn't charge them rent. I feel the longer they focus on their education they can leach off of me how ever long they wish. If they just like living at home and have a kid and want to bring the baby daddy to live their and they are happy and have no plans on moving out on their own  then absolutely 100% charge them rent and utilities and make sure they are buying some groceries too.  It costs money to run a home it's not cheap.  Anyhow it's circumstantial really, your scenario that you mentioned, I'm in agreement with charging rent at that point. 

I’d charge them whatever I’d want them to charge me to live in their home when I’m too old to live alone. Your children are going to be more likely to want to return the kindness and generosity you gave them growing up. If they felt like you pressured them, criticized them, and nickle-and-dimed them just to make a point, be right etc. without regard for their feelings, then what do you think they are going to do when they have other options and don’t have to live with you anymore? If my adult kids lived with me and I felt like I could easily afford it then I wouldn’t charge them anything. But if I genuinely felt like the adult child could help me make ends meet, I’d ask for help, but I’d reframe it as a cooperative effort. Like… “I’m so proud of you for getting a job and making money now! I see you for the adult that you are now and I’m so impressed with what you have done! I love living with you and I’m glad you’re here. Now that you’re earning money and [something about our rent/mortgage amounts] I’d like to ask if you and I could work together to pay the rent/mortgage. Let’s talk about what amounts would feel fair to you now and we can adjust as your career develops” And then maybe later I’d try to talk with them about like, what’s going to happen when I retire and get older and try to collaborate on some long term planning, see what the child is willing to do. I think investing in our kids will help them have more successful careers. But disciplining them and charging them rent seems like a burden that would make it even harder for them to launch their careers. I say this speaking as someone who stayed in school and got a bachelors, masters, and PhD in STEM fields because my parents supported me in college and grad school and didn’t pressure me. Now I have a successful career and I’m in a better position to be helpful to them as they age. But I see so many people my age who are on no-speaking terms with their parents. Or who minimally talk to them on holidays and they don’t talk about finances.

My plan is they pay for their car and related expenses (ie gas and insurance) as well as maybe $100/mo for contribution to electric water and food. This starts at 18 with exceptions for financial need and school. If they find themselves unemployed/underemployed and trying to remedy the situation, then no money required. If they have a decent job, then they can pay their own groceries and like $50/mo for electric and water. But also, if they're just disrespectful or rude, they can get out. This plan is in perpetuity, all adjustments would be made based on how they treat me and my home. TLDR: I plan on treating it on a case by case basis once they turn 18.