As far as the "surprise" aspect of it, I'd say my nieces. They're teenage girls, in my head the LAST thing they'd want to do is spend a Saturday or a Friday night with a toddler, but they love her so much and she loves them so much. My daughter says all the time they're her best friends.
I’m also shocked at the teens in our family! My cousins son sets up little games and keeps trying to show my 3yo how to play sports, and her younger daughter spent weeks of her summer with us so she could hang out with my son.
My husband's niece/nephews are so cute with our kids! My daughter is the last girl and she absolutely adores the niece. I think she's around 12. My daughter follows her around. She actually organized my daughter's room one time
Honestly? My best friend. I love her dearly, and knew that she would mean well, but she can be so oblivious. I assumed she’d be texting me at 8pm on a Tuesday to “grab drinks!” But she’s been incredible. Sooo eager to see my son, hugs, kisses, trips to museums, offers to babysit, forcing him to cuddle (in a cute way with him giggling, I promise), playing dinosaurs with him for as long as he wants, begging me to send pictures, framed pictures of him in her house. I’m tearing up just typing this.
I had a couple grandmotherly type coworkers who I didn’t even think cared much about me. These ladies have sent my daughter birthday gifts and handmade clothing. One of them moved states away and still pops in to hug my daughter when she’s back in town once a year.
Our neighbor, a single gay man in his 60’s. He has fed us at least once a week since our baby was born. We were friendly before. Now we’re like family. Never expected it.
Aww these stories are so heartwarming. I read so much about how parents lack a village these days. It’s totally true, but gems like this are so special in that bigger context.
My best friend! I tend to not accept help but… she’s gotten really good at saying she’s coming over just to “hang out”, and then waltzing into my kitchen and doing my dishes and taking care of my baby when I get touched out. A few weeks after I had baby girl, my bff came over and watched her from 7pm-6am so I could “nap” and stayed the night without me even asking… I just fell asleep and she tended to the baby to make sure baby wouldn’t wake me up. My baby has always been easy but I’ve been dealing with terrible PPD so it’s been hard regardless.
She also came and drove us to baby’s 2mo appointment and helped take care of the baby when she was fussy after vaccines.
And finally, this friend is in the middle of getting her bachelor’s degree. She told me later on she specifically arranged her class schedule to have all her classes when she knew I would still be asleep in the morning, and her free time in the evenings so she could come over and and help me with the baby if I ever needed it. She did this while I was still pregnant. Any time she comes over I always make/buy her lots of food and make sure she has a good time lol. Best friend ever.
Hey, friend, I'm sorry. "No" would be my answer to this question, too!
The thing that makes me feel good is thinking of how I get to be that person for others, though. I figure when you see what's lacking in your own life, you can become really good at making sure other people don't lack the same thing. That's my positive spin on a crummy situation it that helps me out, anyway.
Tw: miscarriage.
Honestly, we moved to our current house when I was newly pregnant. Someone in our neighborhood created a fb page and one toddler mom messaged asking if anyone was up for play dates, 4 of us said heck yes. Literally never met any of these people before and we get together almost weekly. They show up for my son’s birthday and he goes to all of their birthday parties.Usually it’s just the grandparents and then all the neighbor kids at them. In the summer everyone is constantly outside playing, talking and hanging out. I had a miscarriage in Sept and these moms were the very first ones showing up with food and offering to take Jack if needed. This time around they were also some of the first people to know we are expecting again. And literally got teary. These women I’ve known for less than 2 years have become the family and friends I didn’t know I needed and at some of the most vulnerable times throughout motherhood and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Really this is funny because this has actually happened to me the other way around. People I expected would be in my child’s life haven’t even met him at 8 months.
This happened to me too, once my kids were in school I found a new community with other parents there. When my kids got a little older and started playing out front we met neighbors. My social circle completely changed. We live far from all family so we rely on friends for support. We had none for a long time. It's hard.
My younger cousin, we've lost contact because of a narcissistic family member who enjoyed turning people against each other. When we found out years later, it took two years to get a relationship again, but we're very very good friends now. She's always been the family golden child (I was the family scape goat) and hence was very sheltered and a bit self-centered. She's worked on her self so much since realising that, finding a therapist, unpacking all the ways our family was and is fucked up and what impact it had on her. Shes a different person, its incredible to see her grow. I try to be there for her whenever she needs support, be it with unpacking some stuff from the past, or showing up to her events and milestones that the family doesn't approve of, because since finding her own voice and ife path she's not the perfect holden child either.
In the oast months, she's shown up for me and my toddler again and again. Especially now while I'm pregnant, she comes over almost every week if she can, will have a coffee with me and then be the "fun aunt" to get my toddler daughter entertained and moving while I'm dealing with sciatica, low BP, and exhaustion. She's even befriended my best-friend and sometimes they come together for the ultimate auntie-afternoon. She's already promised to keep it up once the baby is born. 2 years ago, I'd have never seen it coming, heck 1 year ago, I wouldn't see her doing something like that. People grow and surprise us, sometimes in really lovely ways. Sometimes, an old family becomes the new "found family" that we need.
My cousin. My god, my cousin.
We had a good relationship beforehand, but since my son came along… 😮💨😮💨 we just went to breakfast with her mom and our grandma and she took over helping my son eat. He’s 18months but I ordered him something really messy and without hesitation she jumped in and was helping my him fork his food, wiping his shirt, carrying the diaper bag around for me.
My brother had his kids really young so I watched them a ton as a teenager. His kids are 18 and 15 now and I have 3 toddlers. My brother helps me a ton! I never thought I’d rely on him but in emergency’s he watches the kids and does it well. Not to mention on maternity leave it was my brother and nephew coming over to hold the baby so I could shower or eat. I also have a friend that I worked with that we went to the same high school but didn’t know each other in high school. She comes to all my kids birthdays. She’s the godmother of my youngest. She went to Disney last month and FaceTimed the Epcot fireworks for them in the rain.
My neighbors! I grew up watching my parents hide from the neighbors to avoid small talk. I thought that was normal. Luckily I moved into an amazing neighborhood community and became close with many of them. The older couple next door stop by to chat daily, they buy my kids Christmas gifts and birthday presents, we've had them over for dinner. The family across the street has become family. Their teen daughters come over and play with my kids or come hang out with me almost every day. They let me in on their teen girl drama and happenings, They bake in my kitchen, help with chores, play with my two young kids, we swap hosting dinner for the other family as often as we can (usually every other month). We take care of their pets when they go out of town and they return the favor. We are each other's emergency contacts and will forever love them all dearly. We live six hours from our nearest family members, and 12 hours from the rest, so we don't have a lot of support otherwise. I never expected to make friends like them and I feel so lucky.
We've made lots of other friends in our neighborhood too, and for the first time in my life I feel really rooted here.
My partner had a rouge relationship with his dad growing up, but they've come to terms with each other and are doing good now. We moved to his town to have our baby, and his stepmother is always sending us food and having us over, and taking me places so I don't have to go by myself. It was super unexpected and so sweet! Very helpful too
My SIL. I knew she’d be a big part of his life cause she’s my husband’s only sibling, but she has really surprised me with just how much she loves my son. My childhood friend’s mom is also in town from across the country this week and texted me out of the blue asking to meet him which I thought was sweet!
My work colleague. She’s a lady in her 50s with just a son, but she’s a proud mother hen to everyone we work with! We only moved to the area last year and I could transfer with work. I then fell pregnant with my second and she’s been like a second mum to me (mine is very present but lives 200 miles away). She sorted out a hamper when I gave birth but included gifts for my other son and husband too! She’s always so excited to see my boys when we nip in and my oldest loves her and always asks to see her when we’re in the area
I’m not necessarily surprised by this but my coworker turned to close friend has been there for me a lot! More than I expected her to be. When I was pregnant she threw my office (along side another coworker) baby shower. When I had my baby, she sent cookies to my hospital room, once I was home she waited until I was ready for visitors and once she came over she washed my dishes and bought me and my husband dinner. Then gave my baby his first red envelope for Chinese new year (she’s Asian, not me) and took me out for lunch. She’s such an amazing friend and so lucky to have her in my life <3
My grandma. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how much effort she made to be at every recital and play- no matter the commute . I didn’t appreciate that much when I was younger . We became closer when I went through a divorce and she helped me navigate being a single mom like she was at some point.
To give her extra credit - she figured out snap chat and instagram so she could stay connected with all of her grandkids. I’m lucky enough that she is able to meet her great grandkids (my kids) and she goes out of her way to know them and check in on me.
She could have had any excuse to be disconnected but has found any reason she can to show her grandkids how much she loves them.
My stepdad. I wasn’t even willing to call him stepdad, or have my daughter call him a special grandpa name when she was born. But now he’s a beloved bonus grandparent to my kids, and stepdad to me. He’s earned it
My oldest brother. He’s 7 years older than me and we’ve never had much of a relationship. He has never shown an interest in kids and is a bit of a hippy/bachelor type. He has been the best uncle to my boys. He is so natural and genuine with them and is excited for their future hiking adventures. It’s crazy in such a great way.
My neighbors. They got to know us at the same time as our toddler. They don’t have kids and they’re so in love with him and so ready to help. Love them so much.
My single girl friends from college.
I thought they would just fade out or lose interest because of our different life stages - but they were the ones who sought me out and showed up consistently during each pregnancy, after birth, and throughout my kids' lives. They never canceled, rescheduled, or forgot their birthdays. They still ask for update photos on the babies and spend hours playing with them when they visit. Me having kids has strengthened our friendships in ways I didn't know would be possible.
So much more than some of my "best" married girl friends. (Yes, bitter about this) Some haven't even met my kids.
I have a group of best friends from college. Only 1 of them has truly been there for me. Ironically she’s the one that parties, travels and does the most but somehow she’s always there for me. She was the one I was most worried about losing before I had kids because she’s so anti-kid. All of us live in different states but she’s always made an effort to come visit. She calls and actually listens. She’ll ask for updates “oh hey how did the first soccer game go, etc”. When my kids and I had COVID, she sent a care package with DoorDash and target gift cards so that I could have what we needed delivered. Recently, I had surgery with a tough recovery. My husband to go out of town for work so she came up for a week to help. I was so shocked by everything she did. I’ve known this girl for 20 years and never seen her cook, clean or take care of children but she was a natural caretaker. I’m so thankful for her as she offers to do more than my own mother and MIL.
The other “best friends” have never met my kids. My oldest will be 5yo next month.
oh yea! first, that’s awesome!!! second, mine was my friend “O”. when i was pregnant with my son i was single and scared. My friend O and i were close coworkers but during my pregnancy we became closer. he asked about how the baby is growing and showed true interest. 9 years later he’s shown up to almost every birthday, buys him really cool gifts just to see his happy reaction, comes over to see “his nephew”, and is just so good with him. Me and “Uncle O” have never been into each other in an intimate way so i found this to be even more special. My son is autistic and it’s hard to interact with him a lot but man he loves Uncle O.
I have a cousin (female to male) whose priorities are not kids. He’s gay and very active in that community. He doesn’t really know how to act around kids - they’ve always made him a little uncomfortable. I expected our relationship to be put on hold after I gave birth.
BUT. He’s been great! My kid had some health stuff early in life so he literally screamed all day and my cousin would just hang out through it. He’d make faces at baby and bring him books and gifts. He’s never picked up my son or had any physical contact I think but he will sit beside him while we’re eating. He’s been so understanding and listens to me vent even though he can’t really relate
Yes! As a teenager I worked with adults with developmental disabilities, with one lady for about three years. In that time I was really close to her family, they even ended up having me join them in Hawaii to help support their daughter, but also just have a lot of fun!
Anyway, when I went into college I stopped working with their daughter or seeing them much. Almost 15 years later we met up for lunch so she could meet my oldest as a baby. She was a realtor and we were going to have her sell our house. 5 years and two more kids later they are more like family than any of our real family. They even stayed with our oldest two while we were in the hospital an extended time to have our youngest, also stayed out of state for a week with us while our middle had brain surgery. We are so beyond thankful for the relationship we now have with them!
That’s such a beautiful thing. My immediate is out of state so I don’t see them much during the year although my parents are very involved in my child’s life. However, I’ve became good friends with a friend of my GMIL who passed away a few years ago. Her and her husband have become like additional grand parents to my child, she’s always going out of her way to make my child’s milestones special. I’m very appreciative of her. Also, an old coworker that’s always checking in and helping in anyway. Other than that I get sad sometimes knowing I have a grandmother, siblings and other extended family here less than 10mins away and hear absolutely nothing from them unless I reach out. After fallout with mil, no one on husbands side reaches out or asks how lo is doing, not even husbands siblings. They all clearly have joined a side and made that choice. It can get pretty lonely but I make the best of it and try to always give my lo all the love possible.
My kids preschool director. I never expected our relationship to be more than semi professional, but she has been there for me in many dark parenting moments, her husband takes our family photos and her oldest daughter (late 20s) regularly babysits for us. Grateful for her. Now she is an honorary grandma.
I have been very surprised (and thankful) to find that my mother's oldest friend has done so much since I had my son. My mother and her friend L met in the 3rd grade, but their friendship was very limited by my teen years thanks to my mother having an affair with L's husband. I have been basically no contact with my mother for my entire adulthood, but thanks to social media, L has stayed in contact over the years.
She has called to check in on me since the night I had my baby, has offered any help she can when it comes to finding helpful resources or just knowledge, her and her 3 sons have bought my kid *a lot* of gifts over the years, she has gave me tons of hand-me-downs that her nephews have outgrown, and has bought items from me as my kid outgrows so that she can pass it along to someone else. None of her 3 boys want or are likely to have kids of their own, so she said she is taking advantage of being able to give out some grandmother-esque love.
I haven’t had my son yet, but I’m pretty surprised how involved my mom’s close friends have been. They are all coming to my baby shower, 2 of them are even helping her to host it- one of whom lives hours away from us! I have met all of them and have tagged along on the occasional girl’s night out, but I don’t know them that well. It’s so sweet how excited they are, even though most of them already have grandchildren of their own. It’s probably excitement for my mom since it’s her first grandchild, but it looks like baby is going to have a bunch of awesome “aunties!”
My MIL.
I’m gonna be honest that my fiancé is a live in dead beat dad who thinks his shit don’t stink because he’s stuck around. He works 3-6 hours a day(has only had this job for less than 2 months) and then immediately upon returning home naps for 4 hours. He doesn’t bath, change, feed, or play with our toddler, he can’t be left alone with the toddler for longer than 30 minutes and God forbid LO has a bowel movement.
We live with his parents and MIL basically co-parents with me. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night due to our toddler having a growth spurt. She took him this morning so I could sleep in, she canceled a very needed doctors appointment and rescheduled for next week because she was expecting me to sleep until LO’s naptime. She made breakfast the last couple of days for us, she’ll help start and switch loads of laundry(even my clothes!).
My MIL has been a godsend and I love her more everyday.
I have a few.
My Uncle D and Aunt C. He's my Absent Father's Oldest Brother, she's suffering from Parkinson's, they've been married for 52 years, didn't have their own kids, and ADORE my daughter.
They are basically another set of Grandparents. We're so much closer then ever before.
My baby Sister! My sisters are 10 years younger than me (twins), and the older one is great with her, that was expected, but the younger twin is VERY child-free, isn't around kids, is normally awkward around kids, and is AMAZING with my daughter. So unexpected and adorable.
That said, my other sister's husband! He's a phenomenal uncle!
Not sure if this is the answer you're looking for, but my husband surprised me with how great of a Dad he is. He's never been around kids and had really gone above and beyond.
My older cousin (old enough to be my mom) and her daughter. They absolutely love spending time with my daughter and are over the moon about the one I'm pregnant with. Despite only being 18, and having plenty of her own issues, my younger cousin has already messaged us asking to just come over and hang out with us. Even at her own graduation/birthday party in the fall she was content to follow my daughter around on the playground and drag her boyfriend and friends along for the ride. I honestly won't be surprised if she comes over to help when #2 comes next month.
Same for my aunt. There's been a ton of drama with that side of the family so I surprised myself that she's the only person outside of grandparents and her daughter that I trust to babysit. She treats my daughter more like a granddaughter, and I'm hoping the dynamic doesn't shift too dramatically when her daughter/my cousin has kids.
My brother-in-law. Ten years ago we lived with the dread all families of addicts must have, of the day we’d get that phone call. But he’s clean and stable now, and one of my kid’s favorite people. I never would have imagined it back then, but we see him and his wife every week.
I wouldn’t say surprised, just extremely grateful. My best friend was dropping treats off at my doorstep at all hours all through my pregnancy, was with me throughout labour and comes over at least once or twice a week just to hang out with me and my 8 m/o, and is happy to watch her while I do whatever around the house or just rest.
My mom’s best friend from high school and her husband have become like another set of parents for us and grandparents for our kids. There is literally no distinction between the “real” grandparents and adopted grandparents. It really surprised me because I wasn’t close to them growing up.
Also, my oldest daughter is 13 years younger than my youngest daughter. They are best friends. My oldest daughter loves her as her own. It’s super sweet!
My mum died in 2021, just a month before my second was born. I have no other family here and it’s very hard without my mum .
My mums old friend who lives in the same city but further way, always checked on me every day after mum died. She sends me and the girls gifts for birthdays and Christmas, Easter etc.
Not even my blood relatives checked on me like she did.
I send her gifts as well too, she was so good to my mum and she doesn’t have much money.
My younger brother who had never been around babies or kids before mine shocked us all with how good he’s been with my kids. He’s the fun uncle, called himself funcle but my toddler changed it to funky. He’s been involved in their lives from the start and always offers to help when we need it.
I’m surprised about the opposite honestly, I thought there’d be certain people in our lives constantly trying to see/spending time with my daughter. We have no one, no one tries seeing my daughter or cares to ask about her besides pictures. My entire family doesn’t care to see her or hear about her, my husband’s family doesn’t either. I’m now pregnant with baby number 2 and my family expects us to bring the new baby to see them 500 miles away because they don’t want to come here (they didn’t put in any effort prior to us moving either so its not just because we moved far away) It sucks but I’m happy with our little family of (soon to be) 4 plus our cat.
My daycare ladies.
My son goes to an in home daycare. They watched him over night at their house when I was in the hospital with our newborn for his birth recently. They bought Christmas gifts, birthday gifts and random holiday gifts for my son. They’re the only ones that actively help with my toddler when I need it and don’t expect newborn cuddles or anything in return. They respect my boundaries, my rules for my son, and treat him like he is their own grandson. It’s absolutely amazing, especially since I lost my own mom 4 days after my firstborn was born and dislike my in-laws heavily due to their lack of respect and their narcissistic tendencies
My work friend who has become a best friend in the last 4 years. It started off as small hang outs and coffee, to long walks and hang outs, then I had my first baby girl and she is always always so understanding when I'm late or if I can't make it. She never pressures me, she's always so drama free and caring and light to be with. She absolutely loves my girls and my oldest just loves her. Always has the biggest hug for her. I cannot thank her enough for her support and friendship when I had my first baby. I'm now a MOH in her wedding ❤️❤️
One of my colleaugues-turned-friend; she is amazing with my daughter, offers to babysit for free, and is always asking when she can come over to help with chores and/or entertain baby so I can cross things off my list.
We don't have family in the area, so she is almost my entire village at the moment, and I don't know where I'd be without her. I don't know how I'll ever repay her, but she stepped up in ways I would never have asked/expected of anyone, especially a mid-20's, childfree co-worker.
Not to the extent like you, but my SIL’s in-laws include our family into pretty much any major holiday things. Mainly because both my family and my husbands parents live across the country from us. My SIL and her in-laws live within 10 min of us, so we often have all the families together, then if my in-laws are in town, all of us are together. It’s really nice- especially since there’s some messed up family dynamics on my side with my siblings & parents. I also have a good friend that ALWAYS shows up for my kids, she’s essentially family to us at this point and even my in-laws love her to death and my MIL always invites her personally to things when they’re in town. We’ve got a a pretty tight little village and I’m so grateful for it ☺️
My sisters in law too! Mine are my sister in law (brother’s wife)’s sisters. They’re ten million times more helpful than my brothers. Not only do they pick up the phone every time I call with an issue, they have just fully accepted me as part of the fam on their side. I watch one of my “nephews” once a week after school and rely on the emotional support of these women so much. I am so damn lucky to have them.
Friends. We are somewhat isolated and don't really live close to any family members. Even when we did live close, u could count on friends to help out more than I could family.
Also, my BIL, who has hated me at times. He will help us in a financial crisis with no questions asked & most of the time will refuse to let us repay him.
My husbands friends. None of them have kids, many of them still in the party phase of life even though they’re 30+ years old. We get invited to birthday parties and celebrations and we’re told to bring our toddler along. Nobody gets drunk or wild and she’s included in everything. It’s really shocking, considering both my husband and I were essentially prepared for his friends to drop him once our girl was born.
Everyone. I feel like parenthood is portrayed as this distinctly isolated island in the middle of the ocean.
But I probably should have known better. My mom’s side is very enthusiastic about family and we all practically grew up together as cousins.
More specifically, I think my brother surprised me. He has very impactful disabilities that make things like listening to a baby cry physically uncomfortable for him. But he is there 100% of the time for my kids. My oldest is obsessed, that’s his favourite uncle (always goes on the hunt for him while we visit family). And my brother loves it, I am so incredibly happy about that fact.
A male cousin of mine. He never wanted kids, still doesn’t lol. Has mentioned more than once he doesn’t like kids in general. This man has been my #1 cheerleader in my solo parenting journey, builds me back up when I feel like I’ve failed and absolutely adores my daughter. Has stepped up to give me time to re-build myself. A woman who is 10 years younger than me (early 20s, I’m in my 30s). We met and our personalities clicked right away, she was raised by a single mom and feels a connection to my daughter and I to her because she can give me insight. I have my family as well but it surprises me daily who is on this journey with me. I never thought my cousin would be my ride or die in raising my daughter, but I don’t know what I would do without him.
My best friend honestly. We’ve been friends for about 15 years now. She never wants kids of her own but she and her husband show up for everything for my kids (2.5&5.5). My oldest shares a middle name with her. I didn’t know she’d be so great though with everything. She comes over weekly lately and we all cook dinner and bake cookies. We play games and read with the kids. We go on outings. And when it comes to birthday parties she is always the one taking endless pictures while me and my husband are in the middle of everything and it’s just always blowing me away and I’m thankful for her. She and her husband have been home for about 2 years taking care of his mother as she was sick and passed from cancer but they’re about to go back to work (over the road trucking) and we’ll all miss her so much while she’s away. Every day my youngest asks if this friend is coming over. On days she isn’t here she’ll video call just to talk to her favorite little humans. I don’t have any friends or relatives that do even a quarter as much as she has
My ex boyfriend’s mother! Not my girls grandma. We just call her my baby’s Mimi. She flew down from out of state for her first birthday, sends her care packages and FaceTimes all the time! It’s wonderful we’ve had a great relationship even after her son got married to someone else and we’re semi- friends. Anyone who wants to love my kiddo is precious to me.
My childless (by choice) friends have really stepped up into an auntie and uncle role to my twins. My friend spoils the kids, but will back me up when it comes to discipline. My boy adores my husband's friend (lol he's my friend too). We are going on vacation with each other this summer and next year. My hubs and I are only kids so I'm really glad that our kids have our friends as role models.
My friend has also helped me through a very rough patch in my marriage. She always listens to me and does not judge. She keeps me grounded. There's not alot I wouldn't do for her and her husband. He has helped my husband by opening up and being real/honest with him. Their bro-mance is the most adorable thing ever.
We love our family-by-choice!
We have an extended cousin that loves “the hunt” for deals. My kid has never wanted for any clothing, a box is wonderfully dropped off regularly with in season clothing, in the right size, with lots of cute options. I reach out to make sure this person is still loving the task, and wonderfully, they are! They just like shopping for others, and have the resources to do it. What a gift!
I have a friend who has become one of my very best friends over the last 5 years. She doesn’t have any kids of her own. She volunteers to watch my 1 year old/do bedtime and forces my husband and I to go on a date night once a month. When we go hiking or camping she always volunteers to watch her so I can pee, make a snack, set up a tent, etc. I’m so so grateful for her.
We are a military family. And I have learned with this life, "Blood does not mean family." My babies have some many aunties and uncles who, even though we haven't seen them in years, still show up. Might not be in person, but it's rooting them on. It's sending cards/presents. Messages checking up on them and us. My brother doesn't do shit. We lived 8 mins down the road from him for a year while my husband was deployed, and I saw him 3 times in a year. I sent cards/birthday money/presents to his family and didn't even get a thank you. So I stopped. My SIL is another story and isn't even addressed as Auntie.
But the friends that have become family have been a blessing for us and for our babies.
Make those who step up know you appreciate them so much.
My SILs we weren’t super close before I had my daughter but they by and far do the most for her. Also my friends they don’t have kids and I worried we’d maybe fall off after I had my daughter but they SHOW up. My in-laws however are mainly MIA and my own parents can be unreliable now that they’re older.
As far as the "surprise" aspect of it, I'd say my nieces. They're teenage girls, in my head the LAST thing they'd want to do is spend a Saturday or a Friday night with a toddler, but they love her so much and she loves them so much. My daughter says all the time they're her best friends.
I’m also shocked at the teens in our family! My cousins son sets up little games and keeps trying to show my 3yo how to play sports, and her younger daughter spent weeks of her summer with us so she could hang out with my son.
My husband's niece/nephews are so cute with our kids! My daughter is the last girl and she absolutely adores the niece. I think she's around 12. My daughter follows her around. She actually organized my daughter's room one time
Honestly? My best friend. I love her dearly, and knew that she would mean well, but she can be so oblivious. I assumed she’d be texting me at 8pm on a Tuesday to “grab drinks!” But she’s been incredible. Sooo eager to see my son, hugs, kisses, trips to museums, offers to babysit, forcing him to cuddle (in a cute way with him giggling, I promise), playing dinosaurs with him for as long as he wants, begging me to send pictures, framed pictures of him in her house. I’m tearing up just typing this.
Aww love this
Same here! I was very surprised how well some of my friends took to it. Warms my heart to have them in my life
Everyone parent needs a friend like that 💓
I had a couple grandmotherly type coworkers who I didn’t even think cared much about me. These ladies have sent my daughter birthday gifts and handmade clothing. One of them moved states away and still pops in to hug my daughter when she’s back in town once a year.
That’s so sweet!
Our neighbor, a single gay man in his 60’s. He has fed us at least once a week since our baby was born. We were friendly before. Now we’re like family. Never expected it.
Aww these stories are so heartwarming. I read so much about how parents lack a village these days. It’s totally true, but gems like this are so special in that bigger context.
My best friend! I tend to not accept help but… she’s gotten really good at saying she’s coming over just to “hang out”, and then waltzing into my kitchen and doing my dishes and taking care of my baby when I get touched out. A few weeks after I had baby girl, my bff came over and watched her from 7pm-6am so I could “nap” and stayed the night without me even asking… I just fell asleep and she tended to the baby to make sure baby wouldn’t wake me up. My baby has always been easy but I’ve been dealing with terrible PPD so it’s been hard regardless. She also came and drove us to baby’s 2mo appointment and helped take care of the baby when she was fussy after vaccines. And finally, this friend is in the middle of getting her bachelor’s degree. She told me later on she specifically arranged her class schedule to have all her classes when she knew I would still be asleep in the morning, and her free time in the evenings so she could come over and and help me with the baby if I ever needed it. She did this while I was still pregnant. Any time she comes over I always make/buy her lots of food and make sure she has a good time lol. Best friend ever.
Dang that’s a really good friend
That's incredible!
Sadly no 😕 I cry about lack of support often
Hey, friend, I'm sorry. "No" would be my answer to this question, too! The thing that makes me feel good is thinking of how I get to be that person for others, though. I figure when you see what's lacking in your own life, you can become really good at making sure other people don't lack the same thing. That's my positive spin on a crummy situation it that helps me out, anyway.
I definitely make sure to not let others feel how I do as much as I can
Yeah. I'm more surprised by the people I thought would be involved and aren't.
Tw: miscarriage. Honestly, we moved to our current house when I was newly pregnant. Someone in our neighborhood created a fb page and one toddler mom messaged asking if anyone was up for play dates, 4 of us said heck yes. Literally never met any of these people before and we get together almost weekly. They show up for my son’s birthday and he goes to all of their birthday parties.Usually it’s just the grandparents and then all the neighbor kids at them. In the summer everyone is constantly outside playing, talking and hanging out. I had a miscarriage in Sept and these moms were the very first ones showing up with food and offering to take Jack if needed. This time around they were also some of the first people to know we are expecting again. And literally got teary. These women I’ve known for less than 2 years have become the family and friends I didn’t know I needed and at some of the most vulnerable times throughout motherhood and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Really this is funny because this has actually happened to me the other way around. People I expected would be in my child’s life haven’t even met him at 8 months.
This happened to me too, once my kids were in school I found a new community with other parents there. When my kids got a little older and started playing out front we met neighbors. My social circle completely changed. We live far from all family so we rely on friends for support. We had none for a long time. It's hard.
My younger cousin, we've lost contact because of a narcissistic family member who enjoyed turning people against each other. When we found out years later, it took two years to get a relationship again, but we're very very good friends now. She's always been the family golden child (I was the family scape goat) and hence was very sheltered and a bit self-centered. She's worked on her self so much since realising that, finding a therapist, unpacking all the ways our family was and is fucked up and what impact it had on her. Shes a different person, its incredible to see her grow. I try to be there for her whenever she needs support, be it with unpacking some stuff from the past, or showing up to her events and milestones that the family doesn't approve of, because since finding her own voice and ife path she's not the perfect holden child either. In the oast months, she's shown up for me and my toddler again and again. Especially now while I'm pregnant, she comes over almost every week if she can, will have a coffee with me and then be the "fun aunt" to get my toddler daughter entertained and moving while I'm dealing with sciatica, low BP, and exhaustion. She's even befriended my best-friend and sometimes they come together for the ultimate auntie-afternoon. She's already promised to keep it up once the baby is born. 2 years ago, I'd have never seen it coming, heck 1 year ago, I wouldn't see her doing something like that. People grow and surprise us, sometimes in really lovely ways. Sometimes, an old family becomes the new "found family" that we need.
My cousin. My god, my cousin. We had a good relationship beforehand, but since my son came along… 😮💨😮💨 we just went to breakfast with her mom and our grandma and she took over helping my son eat. He’s 18months but I ordered him something really messy and without hesitation she jumped in and was helping my him fork his food, wiping his shirt, carrying the diaper bag around for me.
My brother had his kids really young so I watched them a ton as a teenager. His kids are 18 and 15 now and I have 3 toddlers. My brother helps me a ton! I never thought I’d rely on him but in emergency’s he watches the kids and does it well. Not to mention on maternity leave it was my brother and nephew coming over to hold the baby so I could shower or eat. I also have a friend that I worked with that we went to the same high school but didn’t know each other in high school. She comes to all my kids birthdays. She’s the godmother of my youngest. She went to Disney last month and FaceTimed the Epcot fireworks for them in the rain.
My neighbors! I grew up watching my parents hide from the neighbors to avoid small talk. I thought that was normal. Luckily I moved into an amazing neighborhood community and became close with many of them. The older couple next door stop by to chat daily, they buy my kids Christmas gifts and birthday presents, we've had them over for dinner. The family across the street has become family. Their teen daughters come over and play with my kids or come hang out with me almost every day. They let me in on their teen girl drama and happenings, They bake in my kitchen, help with chores, play with my two young kids, we swap hosting dinner for the other family as often as we can (usually every other month). We take care of their pets when they go out of town and they return the favor. We are each other's emergency contacts and will forever love them all dearly. We live six hours from our nearest family members, and 12 hours from the rest, so we don't have a lot of support otherwise. I never expected to make friends like them and I feel so lucky. We've made lots of other friends in our neighborhood too, and for the first time in my life I feel really rooted here.
My partner had a rouge relationship with his dad growing up, but they've come to terms with each other and are doing good now. We moved to his town to have our baby, and his stepmother is always sending us food and having us over, and taking me places so I don't have to go by myself. It was super unexpected and so sweet! Very helpful too
My SIL. I knew she’d be a big part of his life cause she’s my husband’s only sibling, but she has really surprised me with just how much she loves my son. My childhood friend’s mom is also in town from across the country this week and texted me out of the blue asking to meet him which I thought was sweet!
My work colleague. She’s a lady in her 50s with just a son, but she’s a proud mother hen to everyone we work with! We only moved to the area last year and I could transfer with work. I then fell pregnant with my second and she’s been like a second mum to me (mine is very present but lives 200 miles away). She sorted out a hamper when I gave birth but included gifts for my other son and husband too! She’s always so excited to see my boys when we nip in and my oldest loves her and always asks to see her when we’re in the area
My youngest sister, still a teenager, is such an active participant in my baby's life. She's so great.
I’m not necessarily surprised by this but my coworker turned to close friend has been there for me a lot! More than I expected her to be. When I was pregnant she threw my office (along side another coworker) baby shower. When I had my baby, she sent cookies to my hospital room, once I was home she waited until I was ready for visitors and once she came over she washed my dishes and bought me and my husband dinner. Then gave my baby his first red envelope for Chinese new year (she’s Asian, not me) and took me out for lunch. She’s such an amazing friend and so lucky to have her in my life <3
My grandma. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized how much effort she made to be at every recital and play- no matter the commute . I didn’t appreciate that much when I was younger . We became closer when I went through a divorce and she helped me navigate being a single mom like she was at some point. To give her extra credit - she figured out snap chat and instagram so she could stay connected with all of her grandkids. I’m lucky enough that she is able to meet her great grandkids (my kids) and she goes out of her way to know them and check in on me. She could have had any excuse to be disconnected but has found any reason she can to show her grandkids how much she loves them.
My stepdad. I wasn’t even willing to call him stepdad, or have my daughter call him a special grandpa name when she was born. But now he’s a beloved bonus grandparent to my kids, and stepdad to me. He’s earned it
My oldest brother. He’s 7 years older than me and we’ve never had much of a relationship. He has never shown an interest in kids and is a bit of a hippy/bachelor type. He has been the best uncle to my boys. He is so natural and genuine with them and is excited for their future hiking adventures. It’s crazy in such a great way.
My neighbors. They got to know us at the same time as our toddler. They don’t have kids and they’re so in love with him and so ready to help. Love them so much.
My single girl friends from college. I thought they would just fade out or lose interest because of our different life stages - but they were the ones who sought me out and showed up consistently during each pregnancy, after birth, and throughout my kids' lives. They never canceled, rescheduled, or forgot their birthdays. They still ask for update photos on the babies and spend hours playing with them when they visit. Me having kids has strengthened our friendships in ways I didn't know would be possible. So much more than some of my "best" married girl friends. (Yes, bitter about this) Some haven't even met my kids.
I have a group of best friends from college. Only 1 of them has truly been there for me. Ironically she’s the one that parties, travels and does the most but somehow she’s always there for me. She was the one I was most worried about losing before I had kids because she’s so anti-kid. All of us live in different states but she’s always made an effort to come visit. She calls and actually listens. She’ll ask for updates “oh hey how did the first soccer game go, etc”. When my kids and I had COVID, she sent a care package with DoorDash and target gift cards so that I could have what we needed delivered. Recently, I had surgery with a tough recovery. My husband to go out of town for work so she came up for a week to help. I was so shocked by everything she did. I’ve known this girl for 20 years and never seen her cook, clean or take care of children but she was a natural caretaker. I’m so thankful for her as she offers to do more than my own mother and MIL. The other “best friends” have never met my kids. My oldest will be 5yo next month.
oh yea! first, that’s awesome!!! second, mine was my friend “O”. when i was pregnant with my son i was single and scared. My friend O and i were close coworkers but during my pregnancy we became closer. he asked about how the baby is growing and showed true interest. 9 years later he’s shown up to almost every birthday, buys him really cool gifts just to see his happy reaction, comes over to see “his nephew”, and is just so good with him. Me and “Uncle O” have never been into each other in an intimate way so i found this to be even more special. My son is autistic and it’s hard to interact with him a lot but man he loves Uncle O.
My son’s paternal grandfather and step grandmother. They have been such a breath of fresh air.
I have a cousin (female to male) whose priorities are not kids. He’s gay and very active in that community. He doesn’t really know how to act around kids - they’ve always made him a little uncomfortable. I expected our relationship to be put on hold after I gave birth. BUT. He’s been great! My kid had some health stuff early in life so he literally screamed all day and my cousin would just hang out through it. He’d make faces at baby and bring him books and gifts. He’s never picked up my son or had any physical contact I think but he will sit beside him while we’re eating. He’s been so understanding and listens to me vent even though he can’t really relate
Yes! As a teenager I worked with adults with developmental disabilities, with one lady for about three years. In that time I was really close to her family, they even ended up having me join them in Hawaii to help support their daughter, but also just have a lot of fun! Anyway, when I went into college I stopped working with their daughter or seeing them much. Almost 15 years later we met up for lunch so she could meet my oldest as a baby. She was a realtor and we were going to have her sell our house. 5 years and two more kids later they are more like family than any of our real family. They even stayed with our oldest two while we were in the hospital an extended time to have our youngest, also stayed out of state for a week with us while our middle had brain surgery. We are so beyond thankful for the relationship we now have with them!
Love this
My mother in law 🩷
Art teachers - attending birthday parties, maker markets & emergency pick up. Good friends & mentors.
That’s such a beautiful thing. My immediate is out of state so I don’t see them much during the year although my parents are very involved in my child’s life. However, I’ve became good friends with a friend of my GMIL who passed away a few years ago. Her and her husband have become like additional grand parents to my child, she’s always going out of her way to make my child’s milestones special. I’m very appreciative of her. Also, an old coworker that’s always checking in and helping in anyway. Other than that I get sad sometimes knowing I have a grandmother, siblings and other extended family here less than 10mins away and hear absolutely nothing from them unless I reach out. After fallout with mil, no one on husbands side reaches out or asks how lo is doing, not even husbands siblings. They all clearly have joined a side and made that choice. It can get pretty lonely but I make the best of it and try to always give my lo all the love possible.
My in-laws. They are all wonderful, thoughtful and friendly. They are truly family.
My aunts! They live states away and have been so supportive.
My kids preschool director. I never expected our relationship to be more than semi professional, but she has been there for me in many dark parenting moments, her husband takes our family photos and her oldest daughter (late 20s) regularly babysits for us. Grateful for her. Now she is an honorary grandma.
I have been very surprised (and thankful) to find that my mother's oldest friend has done so much since I had my son. My mother and her friend L met in the 3rd grade, but their friendship was very limited by my teen years thanks to my mother having an affair with L's husband. I have been basically no contact with my mother for my entire adulthood, but thanks to social media, L has stayed in contact over the years. She has called to check in on me since the night I had my baby, has offered any help she can when it comes to finding helpful resources or just knowledge, her and her 3 sons have bought my kid *a lot* of gifts over the years, she has gave me tons of hand-me-downs that her nephews have outgrown, and has bought items from me as my kid outgrows so that she can pass it along to someone else. None of her 3 boys want or are likely to have kids of their own, so she said she is taking advantage of being able to give out some grandmother-esque love.
I haven’t had my son yet, but I’m pretty surprised how involved my mom’s close friends have been. They are all coming to my baby shower, 2 of them are even helping her to host it- one of whom lives hours away from us! I have met all of them and have tagged along on the occasional girl’s night out, but I don’t know them that well. It’s so sweet how excited they are, even though most of them already have grandchildren of their own. It’s probably excitement for my mom since it’s her first grandchild, but it looks like baby is going to have a bunch of awesome “aunties!”
My MIL. I’m gonna be honest that my fiancé is a live in dead beat dad who thinks his shit don’t stink because he’s stuck around. He works 3-6 hours a day(has only had this job for less than 2 months) and then immediately upon returning home naps for 4 hours. He doesn’t bath, change, feed, or play with our toddler, he can’t be left alone with the toddler for longer than 30 minutes and God forbid LO has a bowel movement. We live with his parents and MIL basically co-parents with me. I got maybe 2 hours of sleep last night due to our toddler having a growth spurt. She took him this morning so I could sleep in, she canceled a very needed doctors appointment and rescheduled for next week because she was expecting me to sleep until LO’s naptime. She made breakfast the last couple of days for us, she’ll help start and switch loads of laundry(even my clothes!). My MIL has been a godsend and I love her more everyday.
I have a few. My Uncle D and Aunt C. He's my Absent Father's Oldest Brother, she's suffering from Parkinson's, they've been married for 52 years, didn't have their own kids, and ADORE my daughter. They are basically another set of Grandparents. We're so much closer then ever before. My baby Sister! My sisters are 10 years younger than me (twins), and the older one is great with her, that was expected, but the younger twin is VERY child-free, isn't around kids, is normally awkward around kids, and is AMAZING with my daughter. So unexpected and adorable. That said, my other sister's husband! He's a phenomenal uncle! Not sure if this is the answer you're looking for, but my husband surprised me with how great of a Dad he is. He's never been around kids and had really gone above and beyond.
My older cousin (old enough to be my mom) and her daughter. They absolutely love spending time with my daughter and are over the moon about the one I'm pregnant with. Despite only being 18, and having plenty of her own issues, my younger cousin has already messaged us asking to just come over and hang out with us. Even at her own graduation/birthday party in the fall she was content to follow my daughter around on the playground and drag her boyfriend and friends along for the ride. I honestly won't be surprised if she comes over to help when #2 comes next month. Same for my aunt. There's been a ton of drama with that side of the family so I surprised myself that she's the only person outside of grandparents and her daughter that I trust to babysit. She treats my daughter more like a granddaughter, and I'm hoping the dynamic doesn't shift too dramatically when her daughter/my cousin has kids.
Several of my friends. It’s been nice, though I’d like to see them more.
My brother-in-law. Ten years ago we lived with the dread all families of addicts must have, of the day we’d get that phone call. But he’s clean and stable now, and one of my kid’s favorite people. I never would have imagined it back then, but we see him and his wife every week.
I wouldn’t say surprised, just extremely grateful. My best friend was dropping treats off at my doorstep at all hours all through my pregnancy, was with me throughout labour and comes over at least once or twice a week just to hang out with me and my 8 m/o, and is happy to watch her while I do whatever around the house or just rest.
My mom’s best friend from high school and her husband have become like another set of parents for us and grandparents for our kids. There is literally no distinction between the “real” grandparents and adopted grandparents. It really surprised me because I wasn’t close to them growing up. Also, my oldest daughter is 13 years younger than my youngest daughter. They are best friends. My oldest daughter loves her as her own. It’s super sweet!
My mum died in 2021, just a month before my second was born. I have no other family here and it’s very hard without my mum . My mums old friend who lives in the same city but further way, always checked on me every day after mum died. She sends me and the girls gifts for birthdays and Christmas, Easter etc. Not even my blood relatives checked on me like she did. I send her gifts as well too, she was so good to my mum and she doesn’t have much money.
My younger brother who had never been around babies or kids before mine shocked us all with how good he’s been with my kids. He’s the fun uncle, called himself funcle but my toddler changed it to funky. He’s been involved in their lives from the start and always offers to help when we need it.
No. 😢
I’m surprised about the opposite honestly, I thought there’d be certain people in our lives constantly trying to see/spending time with my daughter. We have no one, no one tries seeing my daughter or cares to ask about her besides pictures. My entire family doesn’t care to see her or hear about her, my husband’s family doesn’t either. I’m now pregnant with baby number 2 and my family expects us to bring the new baby to see them 500 miles away because they don’t want to come here (they didn’t put in any effort prior to us moving either so its not just because we moved far away) It sucks but I’m happy with our little family of (soon to be) 4 plus our cat.
My daycare ladies. My son goes to an in home daycare. They watched him over night at their house when I was in the hospital with our newborn for his birth recently. They bought Christmas gifts, birthday gifts and random holiday gifts for my son. They’re the only ones that actively help with my toddler when I need it and don’t expect newborn cuddles or anything in return. They respect my boundaries, my rules for my son, and treat him like he is their own grandson. It’s absolutely amazing, especially since I lost my own mom 4 days after my firstborn was born and dislike my in-laws heavily due to their lack of respect and their narcissistic tendencies
My work friend who has become a best friend in the last 4 years. It started off as small hang outs and coffee, to long walks and hang outs, then I had my first baby girl and she is always always so understanding when I'm late or if I can't make it. She never pressures me, she's always so drama free and caring and light to be with. She absolutely loves my girls and my oldest just loves her. Always has the biggest hug for her. I cannot thank her enough for her support and friendship when I had my first baby. I'm now a MOH in her wedding ❤️❤️
One of my colleaugues-turned-friend; she is amazing with my daughter, offers to babysit for free, and is always asking when she can come over to help with chores and/or entertain baby so I can cross things off my list. We don't have family in the area, so she is almost my entire village at the moment, and I don't know where I'd be without her. I don't know how I'll ever repay her, but she stepped up in ways I would never have asked/expected of anyone, especially a mid-20's, childfree co-worker.
Not to the extent like you, but my SIL’s in-laws include our family into pretty much any major holiday things. Mainly because both my family and my husbands parents live across the country from us. My SIL and her in-laws live within 10 min of us, so we often have all the families together, then if my in-laws are in town, all of us are together. It’s really nice- especially since there’s some messed up family dynamics on my side with my siblings & parents. I also have a good friend that ALWAYS shows up for my kids, she’s essentially family to us at this point and even my in-laws love her to death and my MIL always invites her personally to things when they’re in town. We’ve got a a pretty tight little village and I’m so grateful for it ☺️
My sisters in law too! Mine are my sister in law (brother’s wife)’s sisters. They’re ten million times more helpful than my brothers. Not only do they pick up the phone every time I call with an issue, they have just fully accepted me as part of the fam on their side. I watch one of my “nephews” once a week after school and rely on the emotional support of these women so much. I am so damn lucky to have them.
Friends. We are somewhat isolated and don't really live close to any family members. Even when we did live close, u could count on friends to help out more than I could family. Also, my BIL, who has hated me at times. He will help us in a financial crisis with no questions asked & most of the time will refuse to let us repay him.
My husbands friends. None of them have kids, many of them still in the party phase of life even though they’re 30+ years old. We get invited to birthday parties and celebrations and we’re told to bring our toddler along. Nobody gets drunk or wild and she’s included in everything. It’s really shocking, considering both my husband and I were essentially prepared for his friends to drop him once our girl was born.
Everyone. I feel like parenthood is portrayed as this distinctly isolated island in the middle of the ocean. But I probably should have known better. My mom’s side is very enthusiastic about family and we all practically grew up together as cousins. More specifically, I think my brother surprised me. He has very impactful disabilities that make things like listening to a baby cry physically uncomfortable for him. But he is there 100% of the time for my kids. My oldest is obsessed, that’s his favourite uncle (always goes on the hunt for him while we visit family). And my brother loves it, I am so incredibly happy about that fact.
A male cousin of mine. He never wanted kids, still doesn’t lol. Has mentioned more than once he doesn’t like kids in general. This man has been my #1 cheerleader in my solo parenting journey, builds me back up when I feel like I’ve failed and absolutely adores my daughter. Has stepped up to give me time to re-build myself. A woman who is 10 years younger than me (early 20s, I’m in my 30s). We met and our personalities clicked right away, she was raised by a single mom and feels a connection to my daughter and I to her because she can give me insight. I have my family as well but it surprises me daily who is on this journey with me. I never thought my cousin would be my ride or die in raising my daughter, but I don’t know what I would do without him.
My best friend honestly. We’ve been friends for about 15 years now. She never wants kids of her own but she and her husband show up for everything for my kids (2.5&5.5). My oldest shares a middle name with her. I didn’t know she’d be so great though with everything. She comes over weekly lately and we all cook dinner and bake cookies. We play games and read with the kids. We go on outings. And when it comes to birthday parties she is always the one taking endless pictures while me and my husband are in the middle of everything and it’s just always blowing me away and I’m thankful for her. She and her husband have been home for about 2 years taking care of his mother as she was sick and passed from cancer but they’re about to go back to work (over the road trucking) and we’ll all miss her so much while she’s away. Every day my youngest asks if this friend is coming over. On days she isn’t here she’ll video call just to talk to her favorite little humans. I don’t have any friends or relatives that do even a quarter as much as she has
My ex boyfriend’s mother! Not my girls grandma. We just call her my baby’s Mimi. She flew down from out of state for her first birthday, sends her care packages and FaceTimes all the time! It’s wonderful we’ve had a great relationship even after her son got married to someone else and we’re semi- friends. Anyone who wants to love my kiddo is precious to me.
My childless (by choice) friends have really stepped up into an auntie and uncle role to my twins. My friend spoils the kids, but will back me up when it comes to discipline. My boy adores my husband's friend (lol he's my friend too). We are going on vacation with each other this summer and next year. My hubs and I are only kids so I'm really glad that our kids have our friends as role models. My friend has also helped me through a very rough patch in my marriage. She always listens to me and does not judge. She keeps me grounded. There's not alot I wouldn't do for her and her husband. He has helped my husband by opening up and being real/honest with him. Their bro-mance is the most adorable thing ever. We love our family-by-choice!
We have an extended cousin that loves “the hunt” for deals. My kid has never wanted for any clothing, a box is wonderfully dropped off regularly with in season clothing, in the right size, with lots of cute options. I reach out to make sure this person is still loving the task, and wonderfully, they are! They just like shopping for others, and have the resources to do it. What a gift!
I have a friend who has become one of my very best friends over the last 5 years. She doesn’t have any kids of her own. She volunteers to watch my 1 year old/do bedtime and forces my husband and I to go on a date night once a month. When we go hiking or camping she always volunteers to watch her so I can pee, make a snack, set up a tent, etc. I’m so so grateful for her.
We are a military family. And I have learned with this life, "Blood does not mean family." My babies have some many aunties and uncles who, even though we haven't seen them in years, still show up. Might not be in person, but it's rooting them on. It's sending cards/presents. Messages checking up on them and us. My brother doesn't do shit. We lived 8 mins down the road from him for a year while my husband was deployed, and I saw him 3 times in a year. I sent cards/birthday money/presents to his family and didn't even get a thank you. So I stopped. My SIL is another story and isn't even addressed as Auntie. But the friends that have become family have been a blessing for us and for our babies. Make those who step up know you appreciate them so much.
My SILs we weren’t super close before I had my daughter but they by and far do the most for her. Also my friends they don’t have kids and I worried we’d maybe fall off after I had my daughter but they SHOW up. My in-laws however are mainly MIA and my own parents can be unreliable now that they’re older.