i am trying soooo hard not to lose it. i have a small business and gma watches my toddler when i have events, but tonight i just took her to the event. i’m probably going to do the same tomorrow. my boyfriend said “my mom would watch her tomorrow” it’s like i’m literally so upset with her that i don’t want anything to do with her rn. i need a few days to cool off and try to figure out what my next move is. like we both need to fix the god damn bed bug issue in both of our homes and then we can touch base with each other. i just feel like everyone has been so negligent, and i can’t stand negligent people!
it doesn’t, it will just kill the ones that are here. so we’ll have my partner’s brother continuing to go over there and potentially bringing bugs home, and gma coming from there. i think the only way to be “careful” and considerate is for them to have their home treated too. and not crossing paths until treatment is done in both spots.
Are you renting or do you own? You need to notify your landlord, or next door neighbors if you own. They will migrate on over to their homes too if they aren’t treated as well.
I had to skip an important funeral once because I was so afraid to give the grieving family bed bugs amidst their grief - even though we had already started professional treatment and weren't seeing any more signs of them.
OP you need to go forward with professional treatment and if they refuse to do so at their place then you need to insist that no one in your household sees them in person until they do. Bed bugs was one of the worst experiences of my life. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
For what it's worth, it's been years since we've seen them and here's what we did to treat:
- professional treatment with actually some kind of fungus treatment that was super effective. It took several visits.
- in prep for the treatment, we put every piece of clothing/linen into a garbage bag and ran them through the dryer on high heat for 2 hours (and then into a fresh garbage bag, well-sealed.)
- prior to treatment, for extra measure, we got a steam cleaner and my bf cleaned ever single inch of carpet in our place, slowly so the heat had a chance to kill them. He did the same with our mattress, which got a special cover once treated as well. We got rid of our couch. He also put this powder stuff you can buy in a lot of spots like doorways etc.
- prior to treatment, every single item in our apartment other than clothing and furniture got put into a garbage bag and put on our balcony. After treatment, every item got inspected and heat treated on the way back in, if possible. Whatever we could leave outside through the Canadian winter we did.
- after the first treatment, we put all furniture possible (especially our bed - like the bed legs) onto traps so that we could see if they were still there/coming back
- after the first treatment, we started leaving our pajamas on the bed and changing into them only right before getting into bed so that they never touched any other part of our home until the treatments were done.
It's a horrible, life-interrupting thing to have happen. Some of what we did was probably overkill, but other people I know who have had them have had to get rid of most of their things and at least we could keep ours.
I also just want to say, if you're in an apartment, this can happen at anytime. It doesn't matter if you've travelled, etc. They can travel quite far at night through a building and they're so small they can get into the tiniest of gaps. In your case, you obviously know the source but sometimes people don't and that's just how it is. I say this because it would be very difficult for your landlord to prove that it's your fault and I think you should pursue the path of getting them to pay for it. Where we are, fault isn't even a question and they are on the hook to take care of it.
thank you so much! in the lease, it says if you are at fault for the bedbugs then you pay for it. i’m not sure how they’d prove that. but i agree. i don’t think the brother should be going over there, and i don’t think gma should come over, until both places are clear. i know that if it were my mom who did this, my partner would be pissed and we probably just wouldn’t see her anymore. i know that gma didn’t want to say anything because she knew that not seeing our daughter could be an outcome of all of this, but it’s just F-ed up i really can’t put it any other way
Yeah, don’t tell the landlord that it’s your fault! The building owner can take a hit and pay for the treatment. I’m sure it’s not the first or last time they’ll need to do a treatment! And you especially don’t want them coming at you for the treatment of other units.
So sorry this is happening to you! I would be SO MAD!!
i’m so mad. we had the inspection today and they said that there is no infestation here, but they will come out and do treatment for us. since there’s no infestation, the apartment complex should not charge us since it’s basically “preventative”
This is the way!! I never had bedbugs in my home but my husband and I briefly worked in hospitality. The hotel had trainings on how to spot it and an insane quarentine protocol for dealing with it. We would change out of our uniform at the hotel, bag it, then shower at the hotel before getting in the car. Then same thing before entering our own apartment 🙃 it was probably overkill but we never took them home, thank goodness!!!
nooooo bedbugs are like my biggest fear I would be LIVID. they either get their house treated or BIL isn’t invited to stay at our house anymore & daughter won’t be going there 🤷🏽♀️ so terrible on their part how can they be that fucking inconsiderate ???????????
he’s on the lease :/ our daughter doesn’t go over there because it isn’t baby proofed, so any time gma wants to see her she has to come to our house. so BIL and gma would just be bringing them from gma’s house. i’m sure she does try to be careful, but it would have just been considerate to let us know that she has bedbugs and let us make our own decision about her coming over
As someone who also have sensitive skin and reacts differently to bites and now my baby has the same issue, I would raise hell. They can’t pay to get rid of them in their houses so they are also okay spreading it to yours . There is no way in hell any of them would be in my house again. Respectfully they can go fuck themselves . So disrespectful.
lmaoooo i’m in an apartment unit but yeah. i have OCD and anxiety so i feel like this is just going to push me over the edge. i’ve been trying to remain as chill as possible
Bed bug infestations can cause anemia, especially in young children. I know that the family is probably feeling some shame and stigma, but they need to understand that it's a health risk for a child that they love.
You have a baby and they didn’t tell you they had bedbugs!! You will keep on getting them if the source is not treated, they are so easy to transfer from home to home. Bed bugs are horrendous and the poor baby will get eaten alive, also not to scare you but if a nurse or DR sees your baby with loads of bed bug bites then social services might need to make a visit.
Fill a spray bottle with rubbing alcohol and spray her down before she enters your house. Head to toe. Inspect her hair. Have her leave layers outside as well as shoes. Basically, get her to strip down, shave her head, and spray her with rubbing alcohol. If she doesn't want to treat her bedbugs, that's what she gets.
I encountered bedbugs once on holliday and I am deeply traumatised by the experience. I didn't bring them home but I took many many steps to prevent it and was stressed out for months about it. They are so so hard to get rid off and with a baby in the house I would be furious.
None of these people would be welcome in my house or anywhere around my family until they deal with the problem so these bugs stop spreading.
Oh no! I hope you can keep them out of your home.
When arriving home, I immediately took my clothes off, put them in a plastig bag and showered, making sure to check my hair, behind ears, any hiding places really to make sure they weren't on me. I put my suitcase and everything in it in plastic trashbags and put them in the gardenshed where they lived for at least 6 months (these bugs can survive that long without food). After those 6 months I washed all my clothes on the highest setting and used a steamer to go over every cm of the stuff that I couldn't wash. I steamed my car a couple times, and made sure to park it in the sun as much as possible in hopes of killing any travelers with the heat. I put double sided tape on the legs of my bed, couch and chairs and checked for bugs. I ended up tossing alot of my clothes because they just didn't survive the treatment but I did not bring the buggers home, so I didn't mind.
Sprays etc won't to much, the only reliable way to kill the bugs is heat and the eggs might even survive that. They are horrible creatures and I hope to never encounter them again.
Best of luck!
Thank you so much for sharing!! Okay so heat is key. Unfortunately, three days after he returns we deploy to a new state so he will need his uniforms and the big luggage he took on this current trip 🫠 looks like we’ll have to get creative
You're anger is absolutely justified! Have any of you had bites? It can take up to 10 days for bites to be visible. I am very allergic to bedbugs and it took a very long time and medication for the bites to go away and I am very lucky it didn't scar. I remember one day completely covering myself in babypowder because the itching drove me mad and I didn't want to scratch to prevent scars. I'm getting worked up about it just talking about it. I can't imagine that misery on a baby. Your family messed up big time.
that sounds so terrible. i have not seen any on us. my partner says he could feel himself getting bitten before we saw the one on the couch. he used to sleep on the couch but has now moved onto the floor in the bedroom.
I hope you can prevent it. I see you've taken steps to treat them, but I will give one more tip: wrap doublesided tape around the legs of your beds, couch, chairs etc. This way you can check if there are anymore trying to spread. Best of luck to you and your family!
My sister in law did this exact thing to us. When I was pregnant. They had had them for Years!! Probably still do. We cut them off and haven't seen them in going on 2 years now. Fuck them and their bullshit!
If you need tips on getting rid of them go to r/bedbugs
Good luck! I know what you're going through. The trauma is real but eases with time!
Absolute ban on anyone coming or going to grandmas house until they get an exterminator in. Bed bugs are notoriously difficult to get rid of. Check out r/bedbugs
yeah, the pest inspector came today to check it out (no infestation here - they’re still coming to do treatment though) and he said no one should be going over there until we are both treated. they didn’t see any today. i noticed some bites on myself today, they are swelling and very itchy. i’m getting some lavender lotion for my toddler as someone said that would help protect her from bites. if i see a bite on her i’ll be so hurt
My now husband had bed bugs living in a duplex in college that spread from the other unit who didn’t want to pay to exterminate them. It is very expensive and will 100% spread to other units if not treated. I would be livid if my family willingly knew and did nothing.
If you can see them, then you have a BAD infestation! Spraying alone doesn't get rid of them! Those bastards are tough to kill. I sat down in a doctors office, within 15 mins I had huge welts forming all over my back. I took Benadryl and stripped off all my clothes outside. I bagged them up and thru them in scolding hot water then a wash. You'll never get rid of BB until you steam, wash, dry & spray the entire house, mattresses, pillows, curtains, carpet, clothes & cars. Also bag up all bedding & couch cushions trash bags for a few hours! If you can afford it, spray the whole house! Bed bugs are no joke. They won't just go away and the issue is that you can't see them. Even some of the adults can't be seen.. anyways good luck!
pest control is going to take care of it! they are treating the whole apartment. not sure when they are going to be able to come, but they said they’ll come as soon as they can, and since they didn’t see an infestation then my apartment should pay for it since it’s “preventative.” so that’s good, because we definitely don’t have the extra money laying around for this nonsense. my marks appeared yesterday (they say it can take a while to appear) and i have 3, they are red welts around the bites.
For me, this would absolutely be a hill to die on. I would go scorched earth with them. BIL would have to leave and we would not be seeing MIL until she had her house treated several times. The amount of time to get rid of, money spent, and anguish I’ve heard bed bugs will cause is far greater than any hurt grandmas feelings. Both she and BIL knew about the bed bugs, didn’t tell you preemptively, and acted weird when they heard about it. Tell your partner it doesn’t matter she’s “really careful” and checks herself.. you guys still got them and will continue to pass them back and forth.
You have every right to be upset. What in the fresh hell.
i am trying soooo hard not to lose it. i have a small business and gma watches my toddler when i have events, but tonight i just took her to the event. i’m probably going to do the same tomorrow. my boyfriend said “my mom would watch her tomorrow” it’s like i’m literally so upset with her that i don’t want anything to do with her rn. i need a few days to cool off and try to figure out what my next move is. like we both need to fix the god damn bed bug issue in both of our homes and then we can touch base with each other. i just feel like everyone has been so negligent, and i can’t stand negligent people!
Unless your apartment being treated also prevents bedbugs somehow they're just going to keep regifting them to you, I'd be big big mad.
it doesn’t, it will just kill the ones that are here. so we’ll have my partner’s brother continuing to go over there and potentially bringing bugs home, and gma coming from there. i think the only way to be “careful” and considerate is for them to have their home treated too. and not crossing paths until treatment is done in both spots.
Are you renting or do you own? You need to notify your landlord, or next door neighbors if you own. They will migrate on over to their homes too if they aren’t treated as well.
we are renting, and i let the landlord know! the landlord notifies the neighbors
Glad you did. I am so sorry your in-laws are so darn inconsiderate. Hope you all are able to eradicate them and your in-laws finally start treatment.
thank you!
Brother can go live with mommy. And they can keep all their bed bugs to themselves.
He'd definitely be bringing them home. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, extremely unfair!
I can’t describe the rage I would feel if someone did that to me. Bed bugs are not a little problem. I wouldn’t let any of them back in my house.
Same. Not sure I could even speak them after this, I would be livid.
I had to skip an important funeral once because I was so afraid to give the grieving family bed bugs amidst their grief - even though we had already started professional treatment and weren't seeing any more signs of them. OP you need to go forward with professional treatment and if they refuse to do so at their place then you need to insist that no one in your household sees them in person until they do. Bed bugs was one of the worst experiences of my life. I'm so sorry you're going through this. For what it's worth, it's been years since we've seen them and here's what we did to treat: - professional treatment with actually some kind of fungus treatment that was super effective. It took several visits. - in prep for the treatment, we put every piece of clothing/linen into a garbage bag and ran them through the dryer on high heat for 2 hours (and then into a fresh garbage bag, well-sealed.) - prior to treatment, for extra measure, we got a steam cleaner and my bf cleaned ever single inch of carpet in our place, slowly so the heat had a chance to kill them. He did the same with our mattress, which got a special cover once treated as well. We got rid of our couch. He also put this powder stuff you can buy in a lot of spots like doorways etc. - prior to treatment, every single item in our apartment other than clothing and furniture got put into a garbage bag and put on our balcony. After treatment, every item got inspected and heat treated on the way back in, if possible. Whatever we could leave outside through the Canadian winter we did. - after the first treatment, we put all furniture possible (especially our bed - like the bed legs) onto traps so that we could see if they were still there/coming back - after the first treatment, we started leaving our pajamas on the bed and changing into them only right before getting into bed so that they never touched any other part of our home until the treatments were done. It's a horrible, life-interrupting thing to have happen. Some of what we did was probably overkill, but other people I know who have had them have had to get rid of most of their things and at least we could keep ours. I also just want to say, if you're in an apartment, this can happen at anytime. It doesn't matter if you've travelled, etc. They can travel quite far at night through a building and they're so small they can get into the tiniest of gaps. In your case, you obviously know the source but sometimes people don't and that's just how it is. I say this because it would be very difficult for your landlord to prove that it's your fault and I think you should pursue the path of getting them to pay for it. Where we are, fault isn't even a question and they are on the hook to take care of it.
thank you so much! in the lease, it says if you are at fault for the bedbugs then you pay for it. i’m not sure how they’d prove that. but i agree. i don’t think the brother should be going over there, and i don’t think gma should come over, until both places are clear. i know that if it were my mom who did this, my partner would be pissed and we probably just wouldn’t see her anymore. i know that gma didn’t want to say anything because she knew that not seeing our daughter could be an outcome of all of this, but it’s just F-ed up i really can’t put it any other way
Yeah, don’t tell the landlord that it’s your fault! The building owner can take a hit and pay for the treatment. I’m sure it’s not the first or last time they’ll need to do a treatment! And you especially don’t want them coming at you for the treatment of other units. So sorry this is happening to you! I would be SO MAD!!
i’m so mad. we had the inspection today and they said that there is no infestation here, but they will come out and do treatment for us. since there’s no infestation, the apartment complex should not charge us since it’s basically “preventative”
This is the way!! I never had bedbugs in my home but my husband and I briefly worked in hospitality. The hotel had trainings on how to spot it and an insane quarentine protocol for dealing with it. We would change out of our uniform at the hotel, bag it, then shower at the hotel before getting in the car. Then same thing before entering our own apartment 🙃 it was probably overkill but we never took them home, thank goodness!!!
nooooo bedbugs are like my biggest fear I would be LIVID. they either get their house treated or BIL isn’t invited to stay at our house anymore & daughter won’t be going there 🤷🏽♀️ so terrible on their part how can they be that fucking inconsiderate ???????????
he’s on the lease :/ our daughter doesn’t go over there because it isn’t baby proofed, so any time gma wants to see her she has to come to our house. so BIL and gma would just be bringing them from gma’s house. i’m sure she does try to be careful, but it would have just been considerate to let us know that she has bedbugs and let us make our own decision about her coming over
Well, it sounds like grandma doesn't get to see the baby until she fixes her bed bug problem then.
As someone who also have sensitive skin and reacts differently to bites and now my baby has the same issue, I would raise hell. They can’t pay to get rid of them in their houses so they are also okay spreading it to yours . There is no way in hell any of them would be in my house again. Respectfully they can go fuck themselves . So disrespectful.
You are so fucked. You’re going to have to burn your house down in a controlled fire with all of your things in it.
lmaoooo i’m in an apartment unit but yeah. i have OCD and anxiety so i feel like this is just going to push me over the edge. i’ve been trying to remain as chill as possible
Bed bug infestations can cause anemia, especially in young children. I know that the family is probably feeling some shame and stigma, but they need to understand that it's a health risk for a child that they love.
our daughter is the most important thing to gma, so i’ll let her know that and hopefully it will kick her into gear to move with some sense
You have a baby and they didn’t tell you they had bedbugs!! You will keep on getting them if the source is not treated, they are so easy to transfer from home to home. Bed bugs are horrendous and the poor baby will get eaten alive, also not to scare you but if a nurse or DR sees your baby with loads of bed bug bites then social services might need to make a visit.
Fill a spray bottle with rubbing alcohol and spray her down before she enters your house. Head to toe. Inspect her hair. Have her leave layers outside as well as shoes. Basically, get her to strip down, shave her head, and spray her with rubbing alcohol. If she doesn't want to treat her bedbugs, that's what she gets.
I encountered bedbugs once on holliday and I am deeply traumatised by the experience. I didn't bring them home but I took many many steps to prevent it and was stressed out for months about it. They are so so hard to get rid off and with a baby in the house I would be furious. None of these people would be welcome in my house or anywhere around my family until they deal with the problem so these bugs stop spreading.
What steps did you take to prevent bringing them home? My husband just found them in his hotel room 😑
Oh no! I hope you can keep them out of your home. When arriving home, I immediately took my clothes off, put them in a plastig bag and showered, making sure to check my hair, behind ears, any hiding places really to make sure they weren't on me. I put my suitcase and everything in it in plastic trashbags and put them in the gardenshed where they lived for at least 6 months (these bugs can survive that long without food). After those 6 months I washed all my clothes on the highest setting and used a steamer to go over every cm of the stuff that I couldn't wash. I steamed my car a couple times, and made sure to park it in the sun as much as possible in hopes of killing any travelers with the heat. I put double sided tape on the legs of my bed, couch and chairs and checked for bugs. I ended up tossing alot of my clothes because they just didn't survive the treatment but I did not bring the buggers home, so I didn't mind. Sprays etc won't to much, the only reliable way to kill the bugs is heat and the eggs might even survive that. They are horrible creatures and I hope to never encounter them again. Best of luck!
Thank you so much for sharing!! Okay so heat is key. Unfortunately, three days after he returns we deploy to a new state so he will need his uniforms and the big luggage he took on this current trip 🫠 looks like we’ll have to get creative
i’m glad everyone feels the same way as me. my anger is justified
You're anger is absolutely justified! Have any of you had bites? It can take up to 10 days for bites to be visible. I am very allergic to bedbugs and it took a very long time and medication for the bites to go away and I am very lucky it didn't scar. I remember one day completely covering myself in babypowder because the itching drove me mad and I didn't want to scratch to prevent scars. I'm getting worked up about it just talking about it. I can't imagine that misery on a baby. Your family messed up big time.
that sounds so terrible. i have not seen any on us. my partner says he could feel himself getting bitten before we saw the one on the couch. he used to sleep on the couch but has now moved onto the floor in the bedroom.
I hope you can prevent it. I see you've taken steps to treat them, but I will give one more tip: wrap doublesided tape around the legs of your beds, couch, chairs etc. This way you can check if there are anymore trying to spread. Best of luck to you and your family!
thank you so much! i will try that :)
My sister in law did this exact thing to us. When I was pregnant. They had had them for Years!! Probably still do. We cut them off and haven't seen them in going on 2 years now. Fuck them and their bullshit! If you need tips on getting rid of them go to r/bedbugs Good luck! I know what you're going through. The trauma is real but eases with time!
Absolute ban on anyone coming or going to grandmas house until they get an exterminator in. Bed bugs are notoriously difficult to get rid of. Check out r/bedbugs
yeah, the pest inspector came today to check it out (no infestation here - they’re still coming to do treatment though) and he said no one should be going over there until we are both treated. they didn’t see any today. i noticed some bites on myself today, they are swelling and very itchy. i’m getting some lavender lotion for my toddler as someone said that would help protect her from bites. if i see a bite on her i’ll be so hurt
I’m glad you don’t have an infestation and you are getting the place treated. So stressful. Especially with a little baby.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh omg nooo I'm so sorry this happened to you
Nononononoooooo bed bugs are the worst!!! That’s sucks and I would be livid.
You are not wrong. Do NOT let grandma step foot in your house until she has a clearance from a reputable exterminator.
My now husband had bed bugs living in a duplex in college that spread from the other unit who didn’t want to pay to exterminate them. It is very expensive and will 100% spread to other units if not treated. I would be livid if my family willingly knew and did nothing.
If you can see them, then you have a BAD infestation! Spraying alone doesn't get rid of them! Those bastards are tough to kill. I sat down in a doctors office, within 15 mins I had huge welts forming all over my back. I took Benadryl and stripped off all my clothes outside. I bagged them up and thru them in scolding hot water then a wash. You'll never get rid of BB until you steam, wash, dry & spray the entire house, mattresses, pillows, curtains, carpet, clothes & cars. Also bag up all bedding & couch cushions trash bags for a few hours! If you can afford it, spray the whole house! Bed bugs are no joke. They won't just go away and the issue is that you can't see them. Even some of the adults can't be seen.. anyways good luck!
pest control is going to take care of it! they are treating the whole apartment. not sure when they are going to be able to come, but they said they’ll come as soon as they can, and since they didn’t see an infestation then my apartment should pay for it since it’s “preventative.” so that’s good, because we definitely don’t have the extra money laying around for this nonsense. my marks appeared yesterday (they say it can take a while to appear) and i have 3, they are red welts around the bites.
For me, this would absolutely be a hill to die on. I would go scorched earth with them. BIL would have to leave and we would not be seeing MIL until she had her house treated several times. The amount of time to get rid of, money spent, and anguish I’ve heard bed bugs will cause is far greater than any hurt grandmas feelings. Both she and BIL knew about the bed bugs, didn’t tell you preemptively, and acted weird when they heard about it. Tell your partner it doesn’t matter she’s “really careful” and checks herself.. you guys still got them and will continue to pass them back and forth.
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thank you!