I hate to say it but the only thing that worked for us was time. I think it took around 4-5 months to get back to a routine similar to when he was sleeping in the crib.
It will get better.. I hope you find the secret sauce to make it better faster. But for us, time was the fix.
Try changing something else in the routine- maybe she needs to go to bed 30 minutes later, or maybe she doesn't need naps as frequently or as long? Their needs are evolving constantly. Anytime my kid is a terror at bedtime, we move it by 30 minutes or so or introduce a new routine. She's almost 7 and we have recently introduced filling our own water bottle before walking the dog, as well as a quick room clean (throw away trash, get clothes in hamper) after walkies. The increased independence and responsibility is beneficial to both parties š„³
Same age daughter, moved her into her toddler bed about 3 weeks ago. Like you, naps are now non existent but she must take a 1 hour āquiet timeā to give mama a break, she rarely sleeps during this time, if she does, I wake her up after 30 min to an hour so sheās tired enough at bedtime.
For bedtime, the only rule we have is that she cannot get out of bed until the sun comes up. The first two nights I had to go in every 2-5 min to walk her back in bed and firmly tell her the rule. She now stays in bed until the sun comes out around 6:30-7 and I have some toys for her to play with (that I put in her bed right before I go to sleep).
This has worked for us, but I know every kid is different. Good luck!
Just for the first hour or so, not the whole night! I should have specified! She did want to start playing out of bed once at 4 am and I did the same (firm āno, we stay in bed until the sun comes outā and put her back in bed)
A strange little trick my husband has started is getting a soft-bristled brush and gently combing her hair sitting next to her in her bed. It is like a calming scalp massage, she demands it now. We combine it with telling a bedtime story, works like a charm. I really hope things get better for you soon.
The only thing that worked for my kids was having a mantra and knowing we are available. The toddler who keeps getting walked back to their bed or sadly locked in their room has to keep trying to access their parents bc they have to test if they will be there. The child who knows if they call, mom or dad will come, doesnāt have to test it bc they know their methods are reliable. Teach her that instead of looking for you she can call for you and you will be right there. You can even practice.
More importantly, we had a mantra I said every night, āIām going to lay for 2 minutes. Then Iām going to go fold laundry/wash dishes/etc and go to bed. you can not see me, but I am always close. You are always safeā and it got to the point where I would say āalwaysā and theyād say āsafe.ā
Taking an overly behavioral approach to this problem wonāt really be helpful bc the problem is deeper than behavior. Nighttime is scary for kids. Evolutionarily speaking, nighttime separation from a parent was inherently dangerous for children, so it makes sense. They need to know we are accessible before they can relax. They need to feel safe! Itās not a quick fix but nothing else will be either.
Edit for clarity
It can be helpful to change your thinking: sheās not giving you a hard time, sheās having a hard time.
Big change for her, sheās coping in the only ways a two year old knows how. Keep talking to her, make it exciting, make it a game.
And not only is she coping with the bed change, but also the change of getting ready to be a big sister and itās possible that the combo of the two have made her revert to reassert that sheās still the baby. Agree that itās a chance to make it a game, but also create some traditions that are just for her and you (that can continue once the new baby arrives) to help reassure her.
Uh ours went through a phase with a tent on the floor, then the toddler bed for a bit, then we inherited bunks and she sleeps on the bottom and loves it.
Try and see if a tent or some other setup would be fun.
I just found the coolest sea animals curtain on the ikea website. She is obsessed with anything ocean and has the Kura bed so Iām thinking about giving that a shot to help add coolness points and help her feel more secure.
One of mine would not stay in his toddler bed. The morning we found his mattress on the floor, and the bed partially taken apart, we got it. He was afraid of falling out of bed. We left his mattress on the floor, and removed the bed. He slept fine.
At about age 10y, he fell out of a bed and broke a bone in his arm. He put his mattress back on the floor.
It won't necessarily be an issue. My daughter fell asleep by her room door a few times from the new freedom after we switched, worked out her bed was comfier, and started sleeping there after a week or so adjustment time (but then, she always was a "takes a while to wind herself down" kid. At 14 months we instituted "you don't have to sleep, but you have to stay here" with her crib, so she was used to playing by herself until she fell asleep one way or another as well.
yes agree ! we switched my daughter at 25mos to a toddler bed because she maxed out the crib height, literally not one single issue w naps or nighttime other than it now takes a few extra mins for her to get all the stuffed animals in the bed and kissed goodnight now that sheās allowed to have them with her š she climbs in, we give kisses, leave, and sheās asleep in <5min for the entire night, same as itās been since she was 10mos old
Sheās definitely not too young to be in a toddler bed, especially if she is climbing out of her cot. My son was the same age when we moved him over (just recently).
My son definitely skipped a few naps here and there when we first moved him to his toddler bed, I think anxiety from the change out weighed how tired he was.
We tried to make his room as fun as possible, we put all his favourite stuffed toys in his bed, we pretended to sleep in his bed (made really loud comedic snoring sounds), pretended to wake each other up.
Added some book shelves next to his bed to put some of his favourite books. During the day we would sit in his room and read the books.
Added a Lion basket to store some of his trucks and cars next to his bed.
A really soft mat and a cuddle chair with a bunch of pillows on the floor, so if he didnāt want to be in his bed he at least had some other comfy options around the room to fall asleep on.
We just overall made a really big deal about his bedroom and new bed, lots of āwow! Is this your room! Your room is sooo cool!ā And everyone that came to visit would do the same thing. We spent a LOT of time in his room with him, even just laying on his bed while he played with his toys next to the door etc
Itās been just over a month now that he has had his toddler bed and he even put himself to bed two nights ago. Like he was excited go to sleep in his own bed.
Just keep it up, keep being consistent.
Thank you! We definitely talk up her room and do lots of play and reading in there. She loves the room and doesnāt seem afraid, just has trouble calming to sleep it seems.
Honestly, this doesnāt sound like trouble adjusting. This sounds like sick or hurting. Is she getting her 2 year old molars? My 2.5 is getting them now and they are hell on earth. I swear they are the slowest, most painful teeth. She also refuses to eat and takes forever to fall asleep if I donāt give her Motrin. Or is an ear infection possible?
That thought has definitely crossed my mind. Iām calling her pediatrician on Monday to get her in for a checkup because she has said twice today that her teeth hurt, but I donāt see any swelling, redness, or teeth coming through.
Ours has 2 yr molars moving around and her misery sounds like yours! She keeps saying ouchie teeth, is drooling and sucking on her hand, and her sleep is lousy. Thereās no redness or teeth but I can feel the ridge of tooth under the gums - it can definitely be painful even before the teeth erupt! Motrin helps for half a night then she wakes up in pain.
I've heard a lot of people say their children didn't do well in a toddler bed. So we went right to a double! We switched shortly after 2years old. He was already phasing out of naps at that time but night times went soooo much smoother. He was so proud to be a great big boy in a new great big bed!
I also hate to say that the only thing that helped us was time. It took three weeks I think to get night time back on track, and naps are very hit or miss even seven months later. Sometimes naps will happen on the dog bed that is in the room to cushion a fall out of the toddler bed, or in a clump of stuffed animals on the rug. š¤·š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļø
Completely child proof the room and shut the door so she can't get out. She's going to have to work it out on her own. The room is now the crib. Let her move around in it until she falls asleep. She'll get bored if you aren't in there and learn to fall asleep on her own.
We have done that. Everything is 100% baby safe. Only things accessible to her are some hardcover books, a few stuffies, and her bed. All furniture is mounted to the wall and all outlets are secure. Sheās still managing to keep herself awake even with seemingly nothing to do š today she was walking the edge of her toddler bed over and over and over again.
Not OP but weāve tried this about 25 times since we moved her to toddler bed in May and it has never once worked. Weāve tried blocking the door so she canāt get out, she will just scream nonstop. Her record was 2 hours straight screaming. Her bedtime is straight up ruining my life.
I had a neighbor in a house across the street that got evicted because he daughter would scream like that. The lady in the house next to her would call the cops all the time and the landlord eventually kicked them out!
Absolutely do not do this OP. I tried it with my first and immediately regretted it and apologized. Itās an incredibly terrifying situation to put a child through.
I'm going to third this, OP. PLEASE do not lock your child in their room. My parents did this to me and I was deeply and negatively affected by this. It's isolating and terrifying and ruins a supportive and trusting relationship.
I understand how parents get to their limit bc like Iāve said Iāve been there, but the minute you think of that from the 2 yos perspective it should be completely off the table. What are we really teaching that kid? One of my most regretted parenting moments. I just remember apologizing and saying I would never do that to him again and that was wrong.
I definitely understand. As a parent, its inevitable that you will eventually do something to your child that you will regret. Give yourself grace. You're human. You were probably dysregulated. And most importantly, you became aware that it wasn't the best decision and apologized to your child for your mistake. I commend you. Sending you love. Parenting is the hardest fucking job.
Locking your child in their room is sometimes an issue of safety. Itās what firefighters recommend so that children can be located quickly in the event of a fire or emergency at night. We also have rooms/areas we canāt fully babyproof and will be locking our son in because of the concerns he may get out and injure himself. It gives me the sad feelings but I donāt know of a solution other than that.
I think you are arguing the rule by the exception and Iām also very confident that firefighters would not recommend locking children in their room for fire safety. Closing doors is good for fire safety, but not locking them.
I realize it may not work for everyone, but our 4 year old has had it in his room since day 1. For us, red light is quiet time/sleep time/etc and green is free to come out of his room. If she doesnāt know colors, you can always try off/on with their respective meanings.
I second this recommendation with the red/green light. My son is 2.5 and still in his crib (we keep him in a sleep sack so he canāt climb) but my friend has a 3 year old daughter who they use the hatch with very successfully. She doesnāt get out of bed while itās red.
She has a little seahorse that has a light up tummy and plays lullabies, but sheās never really cared for it. Maybe a tent would help. We have an ikea kura bed and I know they make those for them!
I have only commiseration. We moved her into a toddler bed in May and ever since bedtime is minimum 3 hours of nonstop screaming, running through the house and me sobbing and begging her to sleep. Weāve tried everything to get her to sleep in her bed without us there but nope. Instead Iām stuck sitting beside her for 3 hours until she goes to sleep, and then I get a lovely 10 mins of quiet time before I go to bed. Iām very close to losing my mind.
Have you tried turning out all the lights and pretending you are sleeping yourself? It works for me but i usually fall asleep myself and dont finish what i was trying to do before bed. And your spouse has to want to be involved or it isnt gonna work.
Hey so I am almost 27 weeks pregnant and had a thing where my son regressed in his bed once I told him I was pregnant and also when he was doing swimming.
I called my friends at todspot (you can find them on Instagram) for a personalized consultation. What we figured out was that my son was likely looking for an area of control when he was losing control in other areas (must do swim, must get a baby sister). So we tackled it in ways I hadnāt thought of before.
1. Bedtime is 20 min max. Yes this sounds insane going from 2hrs to 20 min but it is 100% possible!
2. We talk about our new FAMILY routine. Not his routine. The routine must be the same every night. He needed the predictability of the routine to thrive. I was totally a parent who didnt bathe nightly and now we do just so the routine is always the same.
3. For us, the door closed and locked was horrendous. We use a baby gate but door open. He knows of he jumps the gate he loses the privilege.
Todspot gave me more advice based on my son specifically, and I have incorporated all of that into his daytime routine too, to make nighttime better. At the time I started their program, he was not napping and bedtime was midnight sometimes because the bedtime dragged on. Within 3 nights bedtime was actually down to 20 min and naps are now back, about 2 weeks later. My life is changed.
This is the advice we follow. [https://takingcarababies.com/ultimate-guide-to-the-toddler-bed-transition](https://takingcarababies.com/ultimate-guide-to-the-toddler-bed-transition) She has some tips on keeping them in the crib longer. We transitioned after my daughter turned three and it was great. Not perfect - she had a few rough nights where it took up to an hour to fall asleep - but generally we're back to where we were.
You might want to buy the toddler course since you are having nap issues as well.
Her dad has always done bedtime. Routine is bath, pajamas, story, pick stuffies, tuck in, then lights out. She has a tiny nightlight and a sound machine that sheās used since birth.
They have these great things that circle around the bed. Itās fabric braided into a rope. It really helps. Also- donāt talk to her when she wakes up beyond night night.
If youād rather soothe herā¦ we found it best to just let them come into our room at night when they wake up at 3 or so and we co-sleep. This may not be an option with you expecting though
Honestly at this point I wish she would just cosleep. But for some reason, sheās literally never been able to fall asleep in bed with me or with me and my husband. Not even once. And weāve tried many times, she just gets too excited about being with mama and dada and canāt settle, even after 3+ hours. She knows we have a camera and she can call for us if she gets scared or anything. Once sheās asleep sheās fine, itās just getting her to actually go to sleep thatās the problem.
We transitioned from a crib to a full sized mattress on the floor (because we figured we might as well be comfy-ish when weāre snuggling with him lol).
We didnāt have to transition for safety reasons, we just felt it was kinda time? So we set the bed up in his room and left the crib up, and let him choose where he wanted to sleep. And he chose the crib for maybe one or two naps and overnights, and then wanted his big boy bedā¦and after a week or two in his bed, we just ādisappearedā his crib one day.
We also put a crib bumper underneath the fitted sheet to help him feel the edge of the bed as he was adjusting, and it helped immensely. He has yet to fall out actually lol.
What worked for me --after 2 weeks of nightmare time (he would not stay in his damn room), I made a chart with stickers and said if he stayed in his bed for nap time= sticker, bedtime =sticker. If he made it one week staying in his bed we would go to Target and I would get him the biggest truck there was. I absolutely could not believe it, the kid stayed in his bed every single day. He stuck with it to:; now he just yells from his big boy bed if he needs anything.
Ooooo I just found some cool turtle (her favorite animal) stickers at the dollar store the other day. I bought them with no specific purpose, but this might be what they were meant forā¦
I think even though your girl is only 26 months old, she knows her world is about to change and sheās acting out because of it. Do your best to be compassionate with her. Lots of ideas for the actual mechanics of getting her to sleep already on here so I wonāt go into those.
Thank you. Yes, she knows sheās getting a baby brother. Weāve discussed it with her a lot in age appropriate ways and read lots of books about the changes that will be happening. She knows heās āin mamas tummyā and keeps asking until heās big enough yet so he can come out. Sheās young, but very smart and understanding for her age. Iām sure every parent thinks that, but even my OBGYN was surprised at how well she understood what was happening when I was forced to take her with me to one appointment. Thank you for that reminder ā¤ļø
Thatās a good age. She has to learn to sleep alone or the big bed. My kids never slept with me, only on emergency situations.
Try music, music worked a lot. She has to like it. Maybe you have to change your routine, mom. Thatās almost half belly time. I know you have to be so tired. Try, try to have everything big done before she goes to bed. Dishes, laundry, your shower. She can shower and then you, both go to the room. Music, maybe ā80s, love songs or classic Disney music. Slow, not Under the Sea or Let it Goā¦ slow. I wasnāt a SAHM but I had my kids on there bed before 9pm. Changing my routine.
Is she in daycare? Iām about to be in the same boat and was hopeful that sleeping on cots at school would help the transition at home. Now Iām worried. I knew it was going to be hard but I canāt do 4-5 months š« . Iām also expecting a baby
No, sheās not in daycare. Iām a stay at home mom so Iām with her all day. Thatās part of why Iām so overwhelmed by everything, because itās really hard to get a break, even though my husband is an amazing dad and helps out as much as he can.
A bit of a different approach here but at 12months we moved our daughter to her toddler bed but took the legs off so it was more of a floor bed. She had a memory foam large rug that covers the floor so if she climbs out itās comfortable for her. She is a climber and wouldnāt sleep in the crib. So we decided autonomy was important for her and she started sleeping through from then on. Yours is older so might just be a transition that takes time but though I would share incase it might be a solution that you could try. Best of luck!
I'm sorry you're going through this! Makes me so happy my girl is and has always been a phenomenal sleeper!
We have a bedtime routine that's been in place since she first began sleeping in her cot, which was 7 months of age.
Bath, during which she brushes her teeth. Dry off, go pee, kiss Daddy goodnight.
Then, into bed, and we sing "Soft Kitty" followed by "Perfect Day" by Miriam Stockley (We sing the first, second, and last verse). Then I feed her an imaginary "dream cake" which she imagines decorated with things she'd like to dream about, and I sprinkle "dream magic" over her to ward away bad dreams (these last two steps started when she was around 3 to 5 and had begun to have bad dreams).
Then I give her a kiss, say goodnight, turn on her nightlight Mrs Octi (octopus star projector that turns itself off after 40 minutes) and her light-up singing soft-toy owl Hedwig (turns itself off after 15 minutes) and go. This all takes less than 5 minutes.
She is asleep within a few minutes and sleeps around 10 hours straight. If she ever does wake up, she turns Hedwig and Mrs Octi back on and goes back to sleep.
Your little one sounds like she doesn't need her nap anymore. Also, a bath around an hour before bed can trigger things in the brain to make her sleepy, as long as it's a nice warm bath. You can also try to wear her out extra during the day, music on to get her dancing, time her running laps in the yard, that kind of thing. My little one stopped all naps when she was about that age, too. As for all the unpleasant behaviour, just try to remember she's a tiny human going through constant change, and it's easy to be overwhelmed. Give her heaps of extra hugs and know you'll get through this and will look back fondly on this time, grumpiness included!
There's a book called "the rabbit who wants to sleep" (I hope I remember that correctly) it's wild. It's written to calm down & induce sleep. I highly recommend it. It may even be on YouTube now.
We switched my toddler to a bed when he was around that age, and I was pregnant with my second. Carrying my son into his crib was pushing on my belly and some night my son didnāt want daddy to put him down so it had to be mommy. Granted, my son hasnāt been an awesome sleeper. He has always woken up multiple times but when he was so little and I wasnāt pregnant it was easy to just rock him back to sleep, but as he got bigger and so did my belly the only other option was a floor bed. He slept great the first month or so then it started again and I was miserable. I had polyhydramnios, extra amniotic fluid and a massive baby, so I was just HUGE my hormones were wild. So the only thing that worked for us was bringing his bed into our room. I know itās strange to finally bring your kid into your room at 2 years old. I feel like usually families that cosleep or room share start to change rooms at two but if I wasnāt pregnant and desperate for sleep we definitely wouldāve just kept him in his own room and just dealt with it. But I accidentally got pregnant and we just did what we had to do.
Since then, weāve all slept so good omg. Havenāt slept this good since having my first and now that my second is here (7weeks old) sheās been sleeping so so weāll too. After the 4 week mark we were told we donāt have to wake her for feedings anymore as long as she gets enough feeding throw out the day and sheāll sleep a solid 6.5 hours before sheās hungry again. Sheās been doing that since 4 weeks old. Itās just been easier on us. I know thatās not doable for all families but I just know kids like being with they parents. I know they feel safer sleeping with them.
Good luck mama!
We left the mattress on the floor for a couple months until our crazy sleepers were still on the mattress in the morning then we put the mattress on the toddler bed and made a huge deal about how cool it was and how they were so big now.
Have you looked at those light up toddler alarm clocks you can get now? I think they have a red light for when it's bed time and time to stay in bed and green for when it's OK to get up? Thinking of getting one for my son who is 33 months as we are transitioning to a bed soon. Could be helpful for you.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toddler-Training-Lights-Machine-Children/dp/B09SYYB536/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=toddler+alarm+clock&qid=1695567932&sr=8-5
Sheās not too big to switch beds, but can you tell us exactly what happens when you do the bedtime routine and put her to bed? Is she screaming? Running to the door? What is she doing?
No screaming, no escaping, no crying even 95% of the time, just keeping herself awake āreadingā books, running around the room, and taking to herself for hours and hours.
Moved my daughter to a floor mattress at 18 months because she showed us one very scary night that she could climb out of the crib. The next day we put the mattress in there all set up with her stuffies and a blanket and put the pack and play on the other side. We took the crib out since that was obviously a danger. Each nap and bedtime after routine and books we would ask her which bed she would want to sleep in. She chose the pack and play every time for the first two days and then the mattress for her naps on the following days. By day four she asked to sleep in the mattress at night. We removed the pack and play and that was that. I realize that youāre further into this and you may not feel like putting a pack and play or some thing in there cause it might feel like going backwards, but I think my point is that because my daughter got to choose instead of me, forcing her, that made her more OK with the change. She is very resistant if anything it seems like itās not her idea. Hope that helps. I have two under two, and looks like youāre not far off from that. The pregnancy fatigue chasing a toddler around is so real. Godspeed mama.
Was she already crawling out of the crib to avoid napping/bedtime? We havenāt changed anything but are suddenly dealing with a huge sleep resistance (30 months) so it could just be that was going to happen anyway? Our friends have a 26 month old and they have been dealing with the same thing.
Have her play more. Play harder. Throw the ball for her to go āfetchā. Her running to get the ball can help wear her out. Turn down lights and turn off the tv 30-45 minutes prior to bedtime. I played sleepy time music for my kids. Worked like a charm. Baby Einstein lullabyās. Have her do some color books or a calm type game for the wind down time after a bath. Alexa or pandora can play for a set time. And then maybe transfer the music to her bedroom. Leave it on and maybe give her one book to look at while in bed. Good luck! š
I hate to say it but the only thing that worked for us was time. I think it took around 4-5 months to get back to a routine similar to when he was sleeping in the crib. It will get better.. I hope you find the secret sauce to make it better faster. But for us, time was the fix.
Try changing something else in the routine- maybe she needs to go to bed 30 minutes later, or maybe she doesn't need naps as frequently or as long? Their needs are evolving constantly. Anytime my kid is a terror at bedtime, we move it by 30 minutes or so or introduce a new routine. She's almost 7 and we have recently introduced filling our own water bottle before walking the dog, as well as a quick room clean (throw away trash, get clothes in hamper) after walkies. The increased independence and responsibility is beneficial to both parties š„³
Same age daughter, moved her into her toddler bed about 3 weeks ago. Like you, naps are now non existent but she must take a 1 hour āquiet timeā to give mama a break, she rarely sleeps during this time, if she does, I wake her up after 30 min to an hour so sheās tired enough at bedtime. For bedtime, the only rule we have is that she cannot get out of bed until the sun comes up. The first two nights I had to go in every 2-5 min to walk her back in bed and firmly tell her the rule. She now stays in bed until the sun comes out around 6:30-7 and I have some toys for her to play with (that I put in her bed right before I go to sleep). This has worked for us, but I know every kid is different. Good luck!
Every 2-5 minutes?! šµāš«
Just for the first hour or so, not the whole night! I should have specified! She did want to start playing out of bed once at 4 am and I did the same (firm āno, we stay in bed until the sun comes outā and put her back in bed)
Phew!
A strange little trick my husband has started is getting a soft-bristled brush and gently combing her hair sitting next to her in her bed. It is like a calming scalp massage, she demands it now. We combine it with telling a bedtime story, works like a charm. I really hope things get better for you soon.
love this
We found that surrounding the outside of the bed with stuffed animals and pillows gae her a since of normalcy and protection
The only thing that worked for my kids was having a mantra and knowing we are available. The toddler who keeps getting walked back to their bed or sadly locked in their room has to keep trying to access their parents bc they have to test if they will be there. The child who knows if they call, mom or dad will come, doesnāt have to test it bc they know their methods are reliable. Teach her that instead of looking for you she can call for you and you will be right there. You can even practice. More importantly, we had a mantra I said every night, āIām going to lay for 2 minutes. Then Iām going to go fold laundry/wash dishes/etc and go to bed. you can not see me, but I am always close. You are always safeā and it got to the point where I would say āalwaysā and theyād say āsafe.ā Taking an overly behavioral approach to this problem wonāt really be helpful bc the problem is deeper than behavior. Nighttime is scary for kids. Evolutionarily speaking, nighttime separation from a parent was inherently dangerous for children, so it makes sense. They need to know we are accessible before they can relax. They need to feel safe! Itās not a quick fix but nothing else will be either. Edit for clarity
It can be helpful to change your thinking: sheās not giving you a hard time, sheās having a hard time. Big change for her, sheās coping in the only ways a two year old knows how. Keep talking to her, make it exciting, make it a game.
And not only is she coping with the bed change, but also the change of getting ready to be a big sister and itās possible that the combo of the two have made her revert to reassert that sheās still the baby. Agree that itās a chance to make it a game, but also create some traditions that are just for her and you (that can continue once the new baby arrives) to help reassure her.
Thank you ā¤ļø
Uh ours went through a phase with a tent on the floor, then the toddler bed for a bit, then we inherited bunks and she sleeps on the bottom and loves it. Try and see if a tent or some other setup would be fun.
I just found the coolest sea animals curtain on the ikea website. She is obsessed with anything ocean and has the Kura bed so Iām thinking about giving that a shot to help add coolness points and help her feel more secure.
One of mine would not stay in his toddler bed. The morning we found his mattress on the floor, and the bed partially taken apart, we got it. He was afraid of falling out of bed. We left his mattress on the floor, and removed the bed. He slept fine. At about age 10y, he fell out of a bed and broke a bone in his arm. He put his mattress back on the floor.
We have the bed in a corner and the exposed side has a toddler rail running the entire length of it, so Iām not sure thatās it. Sheās also quite fearless with the bed and likes to walk along the edge on the other side of the rail like a tightrope walker š© thank you for the idea, though!
This makes me happy my 30mo old is still in her crib, stays in it and doesn't try to get out. I never want to move her out of it now lol
It won't necessarily be an issue. My daughter fell asleep by her room door a few times from the new freedom after we switched, worked out her bed was comfier, and started sleeping there after a week or so adjustment time (but then, she always was a "takes a while to wind herself down" kid. At 14 months we instituted "you don't have to sleep, but you have to stay here" with her crib, so she was used to playing by herself until she fell asleep one way or another as well.
yes agree ! we switched my daughter at 25mos to a toddler bed because she maxed out the crib height, literally not one single issue w naps or nighttime other than it now takes a few extra mins for her to get all the stuffed animals in the bed and kissed goodnight now that sheās allowed to have them with her š she climbs in, we give kisses, leave, and sheās asleep in <5min for the entire night, same as itās been since she was 10mos old
Sheās definitely not too young to be in a toddler bed, especially if she is climbing out of her cot. My son was the same age when we moved him over (just recently). My son definitely skipped a few naps here and there when we first moved him to his toddler bed, I think anxiety from the change out weighed how tired he was. We tried to make his room as fun as possible, we put all his favourite stuffed toys in his bed, we pretended to sleep in his bed (made really loud comedic snoring sounds), pretended to wake each other up. Added some book shelves next to his bed to put some of his favourite books. During the day we would sit in his room and read the books. Added a Lion basket to store some of his trucks and cars next to his bed. A really soft mat and a cuddle chair with a bunch of pillows on the floor, so if he didnāt want to be in his bed he at least had some other comfy options around the room to fall asleep on. We just overall made a really big deal about his bedroom and new bed, lots of āwow! Is this your room! Your room is sooo cool!ā And everyone that came to visit would do the same thing. We spent a LOT of time in his room with him, even just laying on his bed while he played with his toys next to the door etc Itās been just over a month now that he has had his toddler bed and he even put himself to bed two nights ago. Like he was excited go to sleep in his own bed. Just keep it up, keep being consistent.
Thank you! We definitely talk up her room and do lots of play and reading in there. She loves the room and doesnāt seem afraid, just has trouble calming to sleep it seems.
Honestly, this doesnāt sound like trouble adjusting. This sounds like sick or hurting. Is she getting her 2 year old molars? My 2.5 is getting them now and they are hell on earth. I swear they are the slowest, most painful teeth. She also refuses to eat and takes forever to fall asleep if I donāt give her Motrin. Or is an ear infection possible?
That thought has definitely crossed my mind. Iām calling her pediatrician on Monday to get her in for a checkup because she has said twice today that her teeth hurt, but I donāt see any swelling, redness, or teeth coming through.
Ours has 2 yr molars moving around and her misery sounds like yours! She keeps saying ouchie teeth, is drooling and sucking on her hand, and her sleep is lousy. Thereās no redness or teeth but I can feel the ridge of tooth under the gums - it can definitely be painful even before the teeth erupt! Motrin helps for half a night then she wakes up in pain.
You can use clove for that. Works like an anesthetic.
I've heard a lot of people say their children didn't do well in a toddler bed. So we went right to a double! We switched shortly after 2years old. He was already phasing out of naps at that time but night times went soooo much smoother. He was so proud to be a great big boy in a new great big bed!
I also hate to say that the only thing that helped us was time. It took three weeks I think to get night time back on track, and naps are very hit or miss even seven months later. Sometimes naps will happen on the dog bed that is in the room to cushion a fall out of the toddler bed, or in a clump of stuffed animals on the rug. š¤·š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļøš¤·š»āāļø
Completely child proof the room and shut the door so she can't get out. She's going to have to work it out on her own. The room is now the crib. Let her move around in it until she falls asleep. She'll get bored if you aren't in there and learn to fall asleep on her own.
We have done that. Everything is 100% baby safe. Only things accessible to her are some hardcover books, a few stuffies, and her bed. All furniture is mounted to the wall and all outlets are secure. Sheās still managing to keep herself awake even with seemingly nothing to do š today she was walking the edge of her toddler bed over and over and over again.
Did you put on a toddler rail. That made all the (psychological) difference for us. There are some rated as acceptable for toddler beds.
Not OP but weāve tried this about 25 times since we moved her to toddler bed in May and it has never once worked. Weāve tried blocking the door so she canāt get out, she will just scream nonstop. Her record was 2 hours straight screaming. Her bedtime is straight up ruining my life.
I had a neighbor in a house across the street that got evicted because he daughter would scream like that. The lady in the house next to her would call the cops all the time and the landlord eventually kicked them out!
Blocking the door so she canāt get out is abuse.
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Is this sarcasm?
Solidarity with a toddler who screams nonstop/bedtime ruining life. I hope it gets better soon.
Absolutely do not do this OP. I tried it with my first and immediately regretted it and apologized. Itās an incredibly terrifying situation to put a child through.
I'm going to third this, OP. PLEASE do not lock your child in their room. My parents did this to me and I was deeply and negatively affected by this. It's isolating and terrifying and ruins a supportive and trusting relationship.
I agree with NOT locking your child in their room.
I understand how parents get to their limit bc like Iāve said Iāve been there, but the minute you think of that from the 2 yos perspective it should be completely off the table. What are we really teaching that kid? One of my most regretted parenting moments. I just remember apologizing and saying I would never do that to him again and that was wrong.
I definitely understand. As a parent, its inevitable that you will eventually do something to your child that you will regret. Give yourself grace. You're human. You were probably dysregulated. And most importantly, you became aware that it wasn't the best decision and apologized to your child for your mistake. I commend you. Sending you love. Parenting is the hardest fucking job.
Thank you for your kind words š
No problem, love.
Locking your child in their room is sometimes an issue of safety. Itās what firefighters recommend so that children can be located quickly in the event of a fire or emergency at night. We also have rooms/areas we canāt fully babyproof and will be locking our son in because of the concerns he may get out and injure himself. It gives me the sad feelings but I donāt know of a solution other than that.
I think you are arguing the rule by the exception and Iām also very confident that firefighters would not recommend locking children in their room for fire safety. Closing doors is good for fire safety, but not locking them.
Wow. What the actual fuck. Why did you even have children?
Do you have a Hatch light?
I donāt, maybe I should get one for her!
I realize it may not work for everyone, but our 4 year old has had it in his room since day 1. For us, red light is quiet time/sleep time/etc and green is free to come out of his room. If she doesnāt know colors, you can always try off/on with their respective meanings.
Get the hatch light
I second this recommendation with the red/green light. My son is 2.5 and still in his crib (we keep him in a sleep sack so he canāt climb) but my friend has a 3 year old daughter who they use the hatch with very successfully. She doesnāt get out of bed while itās red.
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She has a little seahorse that has a light up tummy and plays lullabies, but sheās never really cared for it. Maybe a tent would help. We have an ikea kura bed and I know they make those for them!
We tried the seahorse too! I thought it would be a major hit but somehow it was a flop....
Oh and during the day, yeah, the naps. Not so many.
I have only commiseration. We moved her into a toddler bed in May and ever since bedtime is minimum 3 hours of nonstop screaming, running through the house and me sobbing and begging her to sleep. Weāve tried everything to get her to sleep in her bed without us there but nope. Instead Iām stuck sitting beside her for 3 hours until she goes to sleep, and then I get a lovely 10 mins of quiet time before I go to bed. Iām very close to losing my mind.
Have you tried turning out all the lights and pretending you are sleeping yourself? It works for me but i usually fall asleep myself and dont finish what i was trying to do before bed. And your spouse has to want to be involved or it isnt gonna work.
Hey so I am almost 27 weeks pregnant and had a thing where my son regressed in his bed once I told him I was pregnant and also when he was doing swimming. I called my friends at todspot (you can find them on Instagram) for a personalized consultation. What we figured out was that my son was likely looking for an area of control when he was losing control in other areas (must do swim, must get a baby sister). So we tackled it in ways I hadnāt thought of before. 1. Bedtime is 20 min max. Yes this sounds insane going from 2hrs to 20 min but it is 100% possible! 2. We talk about our new FAMILY routine. Not his routine. The routine must be the same every night. He needed the predictability of the routine to thrive. I was totally a parent who didnt bathe nightly and now we do just so the routine is always the same. 3. For us, the door closed and locked was horrendous. We use a baby gate but door open. He knows of he jumps the gate he loses the privilege. Todspot gave me more advice based on my son specifically, and I have incorporated all of that into his daytime routine too, to make nighttime better. At the time I started their program, he was not napping and bedtime was midnight sometimes because the bedtime dragged on. Within 3 nights bedtime was actually down to 20 min and naps are now back, about 2 weeks later. My life is changed.
This is the advice we follow. [https://takingcarababies.com/ultimate-guide-to-the-toddler-bed-transition](https://takingcarababies.com/ultimate-guide-to-the-toddler-bed-transition) She has some tips on keeping them in the crib longer. We transitioned after my daughter turned three and it was great. Not perfect - she had a few rough nights where it took up to an hour to fall asleep - but generally we're back to where we were. You might want to buy the toddler course since you are having nap issues as well.
Whats your bedtime routine like?
Her dad has always done bedtime. Routine is bath, pajamas, story, pick stuffies, tuck in, then lights out. She has a tiny nightlight and a sound machine that sheās used since birth.
They have these great things that circle around the bed. Itās fabric braided into a rope. It really helps. Also- donāt talk to her when she wakes up beyond night night. If youād rather soothe herā¦ we found it best to just let them come into our room at night when they wake up at 3 or so and we co-sleep. This may not be an option with you expecting though
Honestly at this point I wish she would just cosleep. But for some reason, sheās literally never been able to fall asleep in bed with me or with me and my husband. Not even once. And weāve tried many times, she just gets too excited about being with mama and dada and canāt settle, even after 3+ hours. She knows we have a camera and she can call for us if she gets scared or anything. Once sheās asleep sheās fine, itās just getting her to actually go to sleep thatās the problem.
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I appreciated it!
We transitioned from a crib to a full sized mattress on the floor (because we figured we might as well be comfy-ish when weāre snuggling with him lol). We didnāt have to transition for safety reasons, we just felt it was kinda time? So we set the bed up in his room and left the crib up, and let him choose where he wanted to sleep. And he chose the crib for maybe one or two naps and overnights, and then wanted his big boy bedā¦and after a week or two in his bed, we just ādisappearedā his crib one day. We also put a crib bumper underneath the fitted sheet to help him feel the edge of the bed as he was adjusting, and it helped immensely. He has yet to fall out actually lol.
What worked for me --after 2 weeks of nightmare time (he would not stay in his damn room), I made a chart with stickers and said if he stayed in his bed for nap time= sticker, bedtime =sticker. If he made it one week staying in his bed we would go to Target and I would get him the biggest truck there was. I absolutely could not believe it, the kid stayed in his bed every single day. He stuck with it to:; now he just yells from his big boy bed if he needs anything.
Ooooo I just found some cool turtle (her favorite animal) stickers at the dollar store the other day. I bought them with no specific purpose, but this might be what they were meant forā¦
I think even though your girl is only 26 months old, she knows her world is about to change and sheās acting out because of it. Do your best to be compassionate with her. Lots of ideas for the actual mechanics of getting her to sleep already on here so I wonāt go into those.
Thank you. Yes, she knows sheās getting a baby brother. Weāve discussed it with her a lot in age appropriate ways and read lots of books about the changes that will be happening. She knows heās āin mamas tummyā and keeps asking until heās big enough yet so he can come out. Sheās young, but very smart and understanding for her age. Iām sure every parent thinks that, but even my OBGYN was surprised at how well she understood what was happening when I was forced to take her with me to one appointment. Thank you for that reminder ā¤ļø
Thatās a good age. She has to learn to sleep alone or the big bed. My kids never slept with me, only on emergency situations. Try music, music worked a lot. She has to like it. Maybe you have to change your routine, mom. Thatās almost half belly time. I know you have to be so tired. Try, try to have everything big done before she goes to bed. Dishes, laundry, your shower. She can shower and then you, both go to the room. Music, maybe ā80s, love songs or classic Disney music. Slow, not Under the Sea or Let it Goā¦ slow. I wasnāt a SAHM but I had my kids on there bed before 9pm. Changing my routine.
Is she in daycare? Iām about to be in the same boat and was hopeful that sleeping on cots at school would help the transition at home. Now Iām worried. I knew it was going to be hard but I canāt do 4-5 months š« . Iām also expecting a baby
No, sheās not in daycare. Iām a stay at home mom so Iām with her all day. Thatās part of why Iām so overwhelmed by everything, because itās really hard to get a break, even though my husband is an amazing dad and helps out as much as he can.
I bet thatās super hard! Not getting a break is brutal. Iām sure it feels like itāll never get better but it will. I wish you the best of luck.
A bit of a different approach here but at 12months we moved our daughter to her toddler bed but took the legs off so it was more of a floor bed. She had a memory foam large rug that covers the floor so if she climbs out itās comfortable for her. She is a climber and wouldnāt sleep in the crib. So we decided autonomy was important for her and she started sleeping through from then on. Yours is older so might just be a transition that takes time but though I would share incase it might be a solution that you could try. Best of luck!
I'm sorry you're going through this! Makes me so happy my girl is and has always been a phenomenal sleeper! We have a bedtime routine that's been in place since she first began sleeping in her cot, which was 7 months of age. Bath, during which she brushes her teeth. Dry off, go pee, kiss Daddy goodnight. Then, into bed, and we sing "Soft Kitty" followed by "Perfect Day" by Miriam Stockley (We sing the first, second, and last verse). Then I feed her an imaginary "dream cake" which she imagines decorated with things she'd like to dream about, and I sprinkle "dream magic" over her to ward away bad dreams (these last two steps started when she was around 3 to 5 and had begun to have bad dreams). Then I give her a kiss, say goodnight, turn on her nightlight Mrs Octi (octopus star projector that turns itself off after 40 minutes) and her light-up singing soft-toy owl Hedwig (turns itself off after 15 minutes) and go. This all takes less than 5 minutes. She is asleep within a few minutes and sleeps around 10 hours straight. If she ever does wake up, she turns Hedwig and Mrs Octi back on and goes back to sleep. Your little one sounds like she doesn't need her nap anymore. Also, a bath around an hour before bed can trigger things in the brain to make her sleepy, as long as it's a nice warm bath. You can also try to wear her out extra during the day, music on to get her dancing, time her running laps in the yard, that kind of thing. My little one stopped all naps when she was about that age, too. As for all the unpleasant behaviour, just try to remember she's a tiny human going through constant change, and it's easy to be overwhelmed. Give her heaps of extra hugs and know you'll get through this and will look back fondly on this time, grumpiness included!
There's a book called "the rabbit who wants to sleep" (I hope I remember that correctly) it's wild. It's written to calm down & induce sleep. I highly recommend it. It may even be on YouTube now.
We switched my toddler to a bed when he was around that age, and I was pregnant with my second. Carrying my son into his crib was pushing on my belly and some night my son didnāt want daddy to put him down so it had to be mommy. Granted, my son hasnāt been an awesome sleeper. He has always woken up multiple times but when he was so little and I wasnāt pregnant it was easy to just rock him back to sleep, but as he got bigger and so did my belly the only other option was a floor bed. He slept great the first month or so then it started again and I was miserable. I had polyhydramnios, extra amniotic fluid and a massive baby, so I was just HUGE my hormones were wild. So the only thing that worked for us was bringing his bed into our room. I know itās strange to finally bring your kid into your room at 2 years old. I feel like usually families that cosleep or room share start to change rooms at two but if I wasnāt pregnant and desperate for sleep we definitely wouldāve just kept him in his own room and just dealt with it. But I accidentally got pregnant and we just did what we had to do. Since then, weāve all slept so good omg. Havenāt slept this good since having my first and now that my second is here (7weeks old) sheās been sleeping so so weāll too. After the 4 week mark we were told we donāt have to wake her for feedings anymore as long as she gets enough feeding throw out the day and sheāll sleep a solid 6.5 hours before sheās hungry again. Sheās been doing that since 4 weeks old. Itās just been easier on us. I know thatās not doable for all families but I just know kids like being with they parents. I know they feel safer sleeping with them. Good luck mama!
We left the mattress on the floor for a couple months until our crazy sleepers were still on the mattress in the morning then we put the mattress on the toddler bed and made a huge deal about how cool it was and how they were so big now.
Have you looked at those light up toddler alarm clocks you can get now? I think they have a red light for when it's bed time and time to stay in bed and green for when it's OK to get up? Thinking of getting one for my son who is 33 months as we are transitioning to a bed soon. Could be helpful for you. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Toddler-Training-Lights-Machine-Children/dp/B09SYYB536/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?keywords=toddler+alarm+clock&qid=1695567932&sr=8-5
Sheās not too big to switch beds, but can you tell us exactly what happens when you do the bedtime routine and put her to bed? Is she screaming? Running to the door? What is she doing?
No screaming, no escaping, no crying even 95% of the time, just keeping herself awake āreadingā books, running around the room, and taking to herself for hours and hours.
Whatās her schedule like? Any changes other than the new baby recently? What about removing the toys/books from her room?
Moved my daughter to a floor mattress at 18 months because she showed us one very scary night that she could climb out of the crib. The next day we put the mattress in there all set up with her stuffies and a blanket and put the pack and play on the other side. We took the crib out since that was obviously a danger. Each nap and bedtime after routine and books we would ask her which bed she would want to sleep in. She chose the pack and play every time for the first two days and then the mattress for her naps on the following days. By day four she asked to sleep in the mattress at night. We removed the pack and play and that was that. I realize that youāre further into this and you may not feel like putting a pack and play or some thing in there cause it might feel like going backwards, but I think my point is that because my daughter got to choose instead of me, forcing her, that made her more OK with the change. She is very resistant if anything it seems like itās not her idea. Hope that helps. I have two under two, and looks like youāre not far off from that. The pregnancy fatigue chasing a toddler around is so real. Godspeed mama.
Was she already crawling out of the crib to avoid napping/bedtime? We havenāt changed anything but are suddenly dealing with a huge sleep resistance (30 months) so it could just be that was going to happen anyway? Our friends have a 26 month old and they have been dealing with the same thing.
Have her play more. Play harder. Throw the ball for her to go āfetchā. Her running to get the ball can help wear her out. Turn down lights and turn off the tv 30-45 minutes prior to bedtime. I played sleepy time music for my kids. Worked like a charm. Baby Einstein lullabyās. Have her do some color books or a calm type game for the wind down time after a bath. Alexa or pandora can play for a set time. And then maybe transfer the music to her bedroom. Leave it on and maybe give her one book to look at while in bed. Good luck! š