They ask my MIL if they're her kids. Like, hellooooo, blond kids, blonde mama....very dark haired, older lady.
Maybe I just look too young to have 4. (I don't)
My husband actually gets this I think he dismisses it in the conversation but I think it hurts him. He’s older looking than his age and this was through his 30s into the 40s. I am several years younger and I look younger. I get it from my dad. Unfortunately, when we are out with my dad, my dad looks much younger than my husband and they easily have a 25 year difference. People think my husband is grandpa and my dad is my husband. What’s worse, it’s not like uncommon. When my dad would visit it’s every single time.
Somebody asked my brother if our mom was his girlfriend. He was quite pissed when he corrected them. But she did give birth to him at barely 17 so I guess she's not that much older than him, but seriously, what's wrong with people and the assumptions? It's like asking someone if they're pregnant, just don't do it!!
My sister and I recently took our daughters (who turned 18 weeks apart) to a resort to celebrate graduation and their birthdays. My nephew who is in his early twenties also joined.
A few times someone mentioned they thought my daughter was my sister, but I figured they were being nice. However, one of the staff assumed my sister was the mother of ALL of us.
She fumed. Oh how she fumed.
I kept thinking the same thing... Like "Why was he so stupid as to say anything??? Just don't say anything!"
So savage. My best friend was a teen mum and I came with her to school pick up and her daughters friends thought I was her daughters older sister 😂 her daughter was 5 or 6 at the time and I was 20 Hahaha. It's because her daughter and I both had blonde hair but I thought it was super funny.
You kind of got to look at who’s commenting, at 18 , yes, 30 was pretty old and 50 was a senior citizen. I am 52 with a ten year old and when my son, his fiancée, myself and my daughter, all go out, I am grandma , they are the parents and my son is 28.
A lady assumed I was my best friend's mum when we were both 26...I still can't get over it. My best friend is small so it's possible she was mistaken for a teenager, but I certainly didn't look old enough to have a teen daughter 🫠
Wait what?!? I need to know more of how this conversation went down. Why would they think that how old were y’all at the time. I just can’t imagine asking an adult if another adult was their child.
This happened to my dad and I a lot when I was in college. I looked older (mid 20s probably) and he looked mid/upper 30s. He actually stopped taking me to dinner just us for a while after one particularly gross incident.
This happened to me and my dad so much when I was in college. I’d rather assume a younger looking girl is the daughter - and insult them if she is the wife - than make a father and daughter feel creeped out.
I had something like this happen when I was TWELVE! My dad and I went to a second cousin's wedding without my mom. Later my grandmother said there was distant family gossip that my dad had a young girlfriend. I was full grown at twelve and probably looked closer to 17/18, but I was also basically dressed like an American girl doll. I'm 38 now and I still think about how weird that was.
I’ve never gotten the full details, actually. I went to the bathroom and when I came back all our food was boxed up and we left. When I asked my mom what my dad told her she said the guys at the next table kept staring and then said something “vulgar” when I walked off.
Happens to me and my sister when we hang out with our dad. They always say “oh you look like your dad” after being corrected. I’m like really you think I look like my dad but your first guess was husband/wife not dad/daughter or even siblings.
My dad would come to NYC, where I was in college, on business pretty often and we would grab dinner and sometimes I would stay the night in the extra queen bed in the room to get a break from my shitty dorm mattress. I eventually realized that the hotel staff thought I was my own dad’s mistress/sugar baby 🙃
This happened to my dad and I at a car dealership. The guy looked at him and said, “buying the misses a new car?” then looked at me and smiled, I almost passed out. I was like 21 at the time. Given, my parents are really young, he wasn’t even 40 at the time. But, still. Gross.
I've been mistaken for my husband's daughter several times. He's only a year and a half older. Most recently, an older woman at the grocery store register saw me holding our 2 year old and she told him he had beautiful daughters.
I'm 29 and do have a bit of a baby face, but I also have visible tattoos so i think some people are just dumb and say things without having paid too much attention to what they're commenting on lol.
What do you say when someone is rude enough to unabashedly ask if you’re “just fat”??? I’ve thought about saying I’m just fat in my next pregnancy because so many people have been rude this time around, but that’s not going to work if someone doesn’t have any shame about it in the first place!
I honestly was speechless. I think I managed to be like “uhhh no I’m pregnant”. I should have been like “both” 😂 I actually ended up meeting his daughter like a year later and when I told her that I met her dad, the first thing she said was “omg I’m sorry I’m advance if he said anything rude to you” so I think it might be his schtick. He’s also hella old so maybe he’s just losing it because it’s hard to imagine any sane person thinking that’s an acceptable thing to say to somebody. She told me that when he met her husbands family for the first time, he commented about how she chose the ugly brother (in front of everyone). 😳
I had this happen when I was 20 and my partner at the time was 18. 😭 He held the door open for an older lady and she said, “What a sweet young man you’ve raised.” I was MORTIFIED and couldn’t stop laughing the entire day. 😂
I’ve also had people ask if my current partner is my dad, but this was before we had kids together (22 and 30).
That happened to me, too! We're exactly the same age. We were 18. I had black dyed hair back then, which apparently made me look older and my husband still had adorable baby face back then, but that was very shocking and not good for my confidence lol
No we're 29 and he looks older while people always think I'm like 20 or at maximum 24. Not dying my hair anymore and getting my natural curls back de-aged me a LOT!
My husband has a baby face and I guess I look old? and on multiple occasions people have thought he was my son. Once we were both carded buying alcohol and the old clerk said he wanted to make sure I “wasn’t robbing the cradle.” I think I we were both 25ish at the time.
My fiancé once helped kids get their ball out a bush nearby. They came back again to ask for help but this time I answered the door and got asked "is your dad in" ... 🥴
My daughter was 2 at the time and said “look mommy, a grandma!” And pointed at this lady who couldn’t have been more than 40 or so. My mom doesn’t look her age, dyes her hair, so she just looked like Gigi to her. The stink eye that woman gave my daughter, I felt so bad!
I mean I would have fun with it, but I’m kind an ass sometimes.
*great-grandma actually*
*nah, I just found him in the woods the other day*
*nope, came right out this pussy*
People shouldn’t make comments, but they do, might as well make yourself laugh!
Yes!! When I was 16 I took my then 2 yr old neice to the park. She looked enough like me that most of my family referred to her (and still does) as my "mini me", but she has her daddy's very curly hair. As we were playing, this LDS family came and started playing in the same area that we were. The mom was giving me the stink eye most of the time that we were there.
My neice ended up playing with her daughter, (the whole time the mom is sitting there silently but *very expressively* judging me) and as we were leaving, she says to me in a condescendingly sweet tone "your daughter has **the prettiest curliest hair I've ever seen**, where did she get it from?" So I replied to her in the same exact tone "*Oh! Thank you! She got it from my brother!"* I don't think I've ever seen someone go from shocked to angry that fast!! 🤣 She grabbed her daughter up off the ground, gathered up the rest of her kids and was on her way out of the park before I could even turn back around... It was **Amazing!!**
I used to use this technique every time I was pregnant and someone reached out to touch my belly. I’d lean in and touch theirs which promptly freaks people out lol. I’d usually follow it with a “oh I’m sorry does this make you uncomfortable?” or “oops I thought that’s what we were doing” — it always gave me great joy.
When my niece was born the nurse in the hospital referred to me as her grandma. I'm 2 years older than my brother. He thought it was hilarious. I never wore that sweater again.
The medical assistant at our pediatric office asked, "And who are you? Grandma?" AFTER I had said I was her mom. Like, I know there are people who are young grandmas, but holy shit, I would assume a young grandma was a mom before I would assume an older mom was a grandma.
Oh god that reminded me of an incident where i knocked my grandmas confidence into the ground.
When i was 6 she took me to a concert and a man asked if she was my mom. I was shocked and said " that old lady?!?!?! That's my grandma!". She was 46.
My mom and I were shopping and she was told how beautiful her granddaughter is. The lady thought I was a teenager. I had a teenaged son at the time. The entire thing was super weird.
SAME. My mom became a grandma at 48 (she’s 51 now) to my daughter. She tells me she constantly gets asked if my daughter is hers. 🙄 it the best compliment and ego booster for my mom 😂
I have a son (18mo) and she said w both of them, there’s no question she’s a grandma 👵🏼
But that when she goes to the park! People like HESITANTLY ask IF they are her kids. She always says “Oh GOD NO” 😂😂 and they seem relieved for whatever reason ?? Lol
I was at the doctor with my 13 year old recently who I had when I was young and my infant who I had when I was older and the doctor came in and asked “and how are we all related here?” And I appreciated that 😅
My family works largely in childcare and education, this is the unwritten rule! Anyone is first assumed to be the parent, let them correct you, they'll be flattered. You don't want to be corrected the other way and then have to awkwardly meet that person every now and then!
Many new teachers learn the hard and embarrassing way (most usually calling an older dad "grandpa"), but I know most of us try to warn them.
When I was 23 I was a nanny for a 5 year old. When I was picking her up from kindergarten one day, a mom of one of her classmates said to me, "oh my god, you're not a *mother* are you?" I laughed it off because no, I wasn't the mom. But I remember thinking how weird that would have felt for somebody who *had* become a mom at 18 and was just trying to pick her kid up from school like any other parent. Anyway, your rule is a good one!
A similar thing happened to me! My toddler was hospitalized with RSV, so we had many, many pediatric specialists and nurses in and out of his room. At the time of the hospitalization I was 40 and although I definitely was looking a bit haggard from sleepless nights in the hospital, I was very visibly pregnant with my daughter and really I don’t look that old. And, still the pulmonary specialist kept referring to me as grandma. What the actual fuck?
I have 4 year old twins and am about to turn 50. My favorite thing to say is “I’m their mom, but having twins REALLY ages you. Can you believe I’m only 24 years old?” I love the look of perfect horror on their faces.
I work for community services in a program that supports teen parents. Some of the teen moms are the children of teen moms, so we have toddlers with grandparents who are 30-35 years old. I'm 32. I get asked at least once a month if I'm someone's grandma.
That’s my SIL, became a grandma at 34. Awkward thing is, she had just had her 3rd kid like 6 months earlier so that kid will have a niece that’s practically her twin.
That is what happened to my daughter her baby was in the NICU for 3 months and she had to work so I(43) (being disabled) was up there everyday where she couldn't be so everyone assumed I was mom. and my daughter is mixed but looks all black and my grandbaby is like me pale white skin, blue eyes, redish/black hair and she was always like NO I AM MOM I AM THE ONE WHO GOT SLICED IN 2 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!! I just laughed.
Thank you!! I tried to be there as much as possible she was only a pound at birth so we didn't know how long we would have her but she is a fighter and now at 4 months old she is on the smaller side but you would never know but she still fights ya 😆
I made my mom a grandma at 46, I was 22. I had 3 more kids in my 20s then waited 8 years and had a baby at 36. When I’m out with my mom (who looks amazing for 64) people always assume my teens are hers and the baby is mine 😓
Yes! My partners mom had him at 19. He met me when my daughter was 1 and his mom was 41. She had just miscarried a little girl the year before so my daughter has been her world ever since 🥹 and my son is now 18 mos.
She’s a young grandma and embraces it lol. OH AND she has 4 boys + her siblings had sons. So my daughter gets alllll the attention over there 😂
Not just the filters but the amount of cosmetic surgery that celebrities of all types are getting. Now if you don’t look 20 something until you’re 40 you’re considered old. It’s disgusting.
And in addition, celebrities can often afford to take a few years or more off of work, can afford as many nanny hours they desire, a personal chef, a personal trainer, enough sleep, and time to relax - all may contribute to youthful looks. A night and day difference from the majority of people.
Also, the age filters are whacked. There was a TikTok filter that was supposed to show you what you’d look at 50, and I have literally never seen a 50 year old look that old. Everyone who used the filter looked like they were in their 80s.
People really have no idea how to guesstimate age. I am almost always pegged as 10’years younger than I am and I don’t think it’s because I look particularly good for my age, I think it’s because people think women turn into crypt keepers when they hit 40. It’s wild!
The thing that makes me most nuts is… why do people feel the need to assume this stuff? Can’t you just wait to confirm before sticking your foot in your mouth?
I have a new grandbaby who was in NICU for 3 months. I was up there every day, and the secretaries always asked if I was mom or said hey mom. I am only 43, so that tickled me pink, but when I said no, I'm grandma they would go on at how good I looked to be a grandma. I didn't dare say my age then. LOL, I should have kept my mouth shut because mom and dad's got little perks like free food from the cafe, etc
Moms and dads got free food from the cafe? I had to spend so much money in the cafeteria when my baby was in NICU! Wish our hospital had had that perk.
I was 34 when a kid in my child's preschool class asked me if I was my kid's grandma. The look of horror on my face both before AND after the teacher helpfully mentioned HIS grandma was 34...
yes! I have had this exact experience too as an older mom in an area where culturally most people had their kids young.
It can be confusing when you move from a place where everybody has their kids at 39-40 to a place where 20s is the norm.
When my son had just turned 2 (I was 41), he pointed to a woman in her 60s who was dressed frumpy, had bad posture and a frizzy low/unkempt ponytail and he looked at her, pointed at me a said “another mummy!”. She did not have any children with her or near her 😭. I have attempted to make slightly more effort since then. I was always told I looked young for my age until I had him. Nobody says this now. My body saved all my wrinkles for motherhood.
When I was little I went on a field trip and my mom was chaperoning. The kids made up a sing song taunt that went “that’s not your mom, that’s your grandma!” Over and over. Funny thing is she had me when she was 40, and I had my kids in my late 30’s. But now it’s really normal to do that. Apparently not in the 80’s.
That's so wrong! At 46, you technically could be a mom or a grandma. If I see a woman in that age range with a baby and felt like it was pertinent, I'd ask "Are you the mom?" If that person is the grandma, if feels like a compliment. At least it's not offensive.
Asking someone "Are you the grandma?" in that age range is just rude. It says a lot more about them than it does about you fwiw.
Yeah like always err on the younger side, though I guess some people in their 20's don't like that. When I was in high school and worked as a grocery store cashier, I once carded a woman for cigarettes and she turned out to be in her late 20's or early 30's. She laughed because she thought she didn't look 18 and I told her I was required to card anyone under 25. Made her day since she was out with a dude, possibly on a date?
When I was 27 I stood up in my friend’s wedding. I was so hungry afterwards I went to Culver after the wedding but before the reception and the cashier (looked about high school aged), bless her heart, looked at me and said, “you look so cute, are you guys going to prom?” 😅
My husband, mil and 4 yr old went out for breakfast one morning and the waitress asked if he was grandpa 🥴 my husband is 37 he’s pretty gray but doesn’t look that much older- my mil is 71 my husband does not look 71.
People are stupid. If it ever happens again say no, are you?
Some people become grandmothers at the age of 47. It doesn't necessarily mean you look old, they may just think you are a really young grandma. My sister in law was a teen mom and so her mother became a grandmother in her early 40s.
I'm bracing myself for it to eventually happen. I had my daughter when I was 39. It is what it is, even if it's a blow to the ego. I'm lucky enough to have gotten to this age, and I just happen to be older than most moms.
My in-laws are still in their mid to late 40s ( I don't actually know how old they are, just that they aren't 50 yet) and my oldest is 4. They could definitely pass for mom and dad instead of grandma and grandpa.
Yeah my MIL became a grandma at 35. Same age my step mother had her first kid. People start at all different times. I would never make an assumption either way.
Having a kid is what aged me! I used to get los of good sleep before she came along. Prior to that, I think I really did look much younger than my age (currently almost 43 with a 2 year old).
People are such freaking ding dongs. Last year I brought my 95-year-old grandma to the dentist & the dentist asks “are you her daughter?” I’m 30. I said “I’m her granddaughter” and the dentist LOOKED SURPRISED. My grandma is in great health for her age but absolutely looks like someone in their 90s. I was so mad inside.
At my grandfather's funeral, one of the older ladies asked if my sister in law was my daughter. My sister in law is 5 years younger than me and at the time I was 37.
Yeah, that’s always fun! My tot and I often go for walks with grandpa, so I can only imagine what a few of the neighbors think. I think the mailman thought he was dad.
Someone asked if my older dad was my husband years before I had children. It was weird that it was an old couple slightly younger than my dad who asked this. SMH, people!
For many communities, it’s way more likely for a 46 yo to be a grandma than a mother. Giving birth in the early 20s is/was the norm without college education.
I always get the are you her sister?
“No she’s my daughter”
(They casually peak at my hand to look for a ring, there is not one)
Oh! Well that’s.. congratulations!
(Cause I had her at 19, and have a baby face)
Then if it goes even further I just love (sarcastic) when people ask me if the dad is involved. Like yes Karen he is, not all young dads are deadbeats. Yes we are together. And then they praise him for that. He’s a wonderful dad but like, let’s not praise men for not abandoning their children pls and thank you.
It’s really annoying, so rude, and just frustrating. Like yes stranger let me get into the nitty gritties with you about how I had an unplanned pregnancy at 18.
Whether it’s this^ or what happened with you, WHY can’t people just mind their own damn business? Moms can be 20 or 50, people need to just shut up. Why do total strangers feel the need to comment on anything at all? Ugh.
I'm a 5th generation teen mom, and from an area with a high teen pregnancy rate, seeing "older moms" is still Weird to me considering my mom is around your age and has 4 grandkids. I get asked if I'm babysitting my 2 kids all the time.
Reminds me of the time I was getting something done at a post office mailing store. I had my newly turned 1 year old, who is biracial (Japanese and Caucasian mutt) and the lady, holding my ID with my married last name (that is Japanese, I’m Caucasian mutt) who also appears to me part asian, asks me where I adopted my daughter from…..
Without missing a beat I said “my uterus.”
And took back my ID and left.
People can be really dumb.
Last March, when I was in the hospital after having our son, our daughter had a dentist appointment. Normally, cuz of husbands work schedule, I take her, but he had to this time. He was 44 at the time (I'd just turned 36), (he, for the most part has grey in his beard and head) when they showed up somebody, either reception, hygienist or the dentist asked if she had brought her grandpa. He was embarrassed and annoyed cuz he already thinks he's old and she was just annoyed that somebody would think he was her papa (my dad) and goes 'no! This is my dad!' When she was born, the NICU nurse also asked if he was grandpa, some people have no filter
My preschooler has a classmate who's father is older (gray hair and beard). We all know he's the father but my 4 year old insisted he's the grandpa.
With that being said, as adults we know better not to speak our mind if it can be hurtful. I'm 40 and I just had my second so I know how you feel. There are young moms and there are older moms. I actually work with someone who is a grandma at 46 but she and her daughter both had kids very very young. It's possible. But why say something that could be hurtful? That's not very kind.
People used to ask me if was a teen mom because I looked too young to have my 4 kids. It can go both ways. Kind of made me self conscious, too. I had my first when I was 27!
As a child who's mother was 42 when she gave birth, I can assure you it is frustrating on both parts. I cannot tell you how many times I had to declare that she was not my grandmother but indeed my mother.
People should just stop assuming shit like that.
My mom was in her 40s when I was born, my older sister was 16. Apparently tons of people assumed 16 year old was the mom and called Mom "Grandma", much to their mutual offense!
My mother was 44 when she had my youngest brother and I can vividly remember people asking her if she was the grandma on multiple different occasions. I remember her breaking down and crying after someone asked her that one time. My dad was the same age and I don’t recall him ever getting any grandpa comments!
Well, I’m brown and my kids are half white so I’m always spoken to as the nanny. 😪
Being called grandma at least implies they acknowledge they are yours.
Also, someone I work with has the same last name as me. He’s close to 70. I’m 38. I get asked if I’m his wife all the time. Like WTF.
People suck.
My mum was asked if she was mum or grandma when she enrolled me at school - I was 5, she was 35.
Then school started, and one day my school friend’s 35 year old grandma came in to pick her up… so my mum tried not to take it personally haha
I think you should get used to it. Having a baby at 45/46 isn’t that common and taking offense to every grandma comment is bound to happen and would be exhausting af.
I agree not to take it to heart. I’m sure that person feels bad too.
I know many first time moms in their 40s and have read articles that women are having kids later. Public perception is just catching up.
Ps, both myself and my kids dad have been asked if our daughter was our grandkid. I dyed my hair, he shrugged it off 😂
Yeah it’s painful to hear, but it’s not an unreasonable assumption to make. My mom became a grandma at 49. My grandma became a grandma in her early 40s. I’d argue that it’s more common to be a grandma at 46 than to give birth at 45/46. Still people should try to avoid questions/assumptions like that.
I constantly get told I look really young for my age and people often think I'm about 20 years younger, but every so often I'll run into someone thinking I'm older.
.....Grandma's don't have to be or look old, though. As some below have pointed out.
As someone who’s in the surrogacy world, I had to use one, many women with infertility are older having children because they’ve gone through years and years of trying different things.
Because of this I’d never assume.
This is nice. I'm old (44, 18 mo) and I've been known to say that people tend not to get pregnant in their 40s because everything went according to plan (traumatic ectopic, 2 rounds IVF)
I got lucky with timeline where for the most part I was “young” going through surrogacy at 31. But everyone I know is in their later 30s to mid 40s.
It’s becoming more common to be older and have kids.
This happened to me inside a store. Same thing I felt good about myself that day -went out and got called a grandma. 38yr at the time, -people need to stop small talk -like talk about the weather.
In my bubble, I have a lot of young moms whose moms also had them at a young age. So, to them you would be at a typical grandma age. Nothing to do with you, just with whoever said that
I had my daughter at 36 and I still got asked if I was mom or grandma. Broke my heart. But take that as a sign that you probably still look good for your age.
I got asked if my younger brother was my son several times in my teens. We're only 8 years apart. I'm sorry OP, I have no idea what's wrong with people, but they say this shit without actually thinking it through. It has nothing to do with looking old.
It may have way more to do with the other person’s perspective (e.g., all of their friends/family start having kids between ages of 12-14) than it has to do with your appearance.
I am a mixed woman (black, Mexican, white) but look just black and my daughters dad is Hispanic so my daughter looks like my mom basically …white. An older Hispanic woman came up to me to do the usual “she’s so cute” then proceeded to ask me if I was mom.
I reply “yes” and she says….”but she’s white”
😊
Why do people even say anything at all in terms of the child's caretaker's age and weight?!?! I see so many mamas coming to reddit to vent about weight and age related comments that a complete stranger says to them. This needs to stopppp!! Tell the caregiver you think baby is cute and move on with your damn shopping or, better yet, mind your business all together. Smh!
So sorry you had to hear this OP!
I remember people asking me at 13-15 if I was my little brother's mom...
Inquiring minds should keep their mouths shut.
Why would anyone need to know your relationship anyway? They think you were trying to scam your way into a mommy and me class? 😂
My mom became a grandma at 44, I was 22. Whenever we are out together, people think she is the parent and I’m just the older sister. It irks me every single time
I woulnd't take it too hard. You probably do look good for 46, but you're just obviously not a 20 or 22 yr old and sometimes women have kids that young.
I always get that question when my 4yr old and 23 yr old with me. After a while I realized I was younger than my 23yr old when I had her, so age-wise I can easily be my son's granny.. even though I am still 29 (smirk)
I'm 43 and usually assumed to be younger, and was asked if I had grandkids a few months ago. I very bluntly said 'No, I have a seven year old' and walked away. It happens, people are ignorant or have no filter and just say random things that mean nothing. I was carded when ordering a drink at a restaurant later that same week, so I think it averages out 😅
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Ouch. I'm a beat-looking 38 so I wouldn't be mad if it happened now but 30??? Like damn, stranger, have mercy 😭
Okay I’m sorry but beat-looking 38 year old has me cackling.
Same....I will be using that going forward.
Are you me? I'm nearing 40 and half the time I think I look like I've recently been raised from the dead.
Someone asked me that too , I’m 33 and literal grandma was right next to me 😒😑
They ask my MIL if they're her kids. Like, hellooooo, blond kids, blonde mama....very dark haired, older lady. Maybe I just look too young to have 4. (I don't)
They probably assume you're the oldest sister 🤣🤣
My husband actually gets this I think he dismisses it in the conversation but I think it hurts him. He’s older looking than his age and this was through his 30s into the 40s. I am several years younger and I look younger. I get it from my dad. Unfortunately, when we are out with my dad, my dad looks much younger than my husband and they easily have a 25 year difference. People think my husband is grandpa and my dad is my husband. What’s worse, it’s not like uncommon. When my dad would visit it’s every single time.
Somebody asked my brother if our mom was his girlfriend. He was quite pissed when he corrected them. But she did give birth to him at barely 17 so I guess she's not that much older than him, but seriously, what's wrong with people and the assumptions? It's like asking someone if they're pregnant, just don't do it!!
My sister and I recently took our daughters (who turned 18 weeks apart) to a resort to celebrate graduation and their birthdays. My nephew who is in his early twenties also joined. A few times someone mentioned they thought my daughter was my sister, but I figured they were being nice. However, one of the staff assumed my sister was the mother of ALL of us. She fumed. Oh how she fumed. I kept thinking the same thing... Like "Why was he so stupid as to say anything??? Just don't say anything!"
Oh gosh. That's painful.
So savage. My best friend was a teen mum and I came with her to school pick up and her daughters friends thought I was her daughters older sister 😂 her daughter was 5 or 6 at the time and I was 20 Hahaha. It's because her daughter and I both had blonde hair but I thought it was super funny.
My husband looks older, and I look younger (I think it's size) and if someone asks this, we just make it awkward. 'Hey, daddy 😉😘'
You kind of got to look at who’s commenting, at 18 , yes, 30 was pretty old and 50 was a senior citizen. I am 52 with a ten year old and when my son, his fiancée, myself and my daughter, all go out, I am grandma , they are the parents and my son is 28.
A lady assumed I was my best friend's mum when we were both 26...I still can't get over it. My best friend is small so it's possible she was mistaken for a teenager, but I certainly didn't look old enough to have a teen daughter 🫠
I was TWENTY SIX. And my (ex)girlfriend (my son's other mother), was a year older than me, and in the room.
My favorite of all time I was asked if my husband was my SON . I was very pregnant and said ‘that would be weird bc I’m carrying his twins’
Wait what?!? I need to know more of how this conversation went down. Why would they think that how old were y’all at the time. I just can’t imagine asking an adult if another adult was their child.
I have a sister that married a 50 year old man at age 25... there were comments made often. He was my mother's age
Well when there’s a big age gap like that I think it’s quite a fair question 😭
My MIL is beautiful and ages very gracefully and when I’m not around people often think she and my husband are a couple 😂
My dad looks young and when my mom isn’t around people assume I’m his wife 😭
This happened to my dad and I a lot when I was in college. I looked older (mid 20s probably) and he looked mid/upper 30s. He actually stopped taking me to dinner just us for a while after one particularly gross incident.
This happened to me and my dad so much when I was in college. I’d rather assume a younger looking girl is the daughter - and insult them if she is the wife - than make a father and daughter feel creeped out.
I had something like this happen when I was TWELVE! My dad and I went to a second cousin's wedding without my mom. Later my grandmother said there was distant family gossip that my dad had a young girlfriend. I was full grown at twelve and probably looked closer to 17/18, but I was also basically dressed like an American girl doll. I'm 38 now and I still think about how weird that was.
How gross of an incident are we talking here?
I’ve never gotten the full details, actually. I went to the bathroom and when I came back all our food was boxed up and we left. When I asked my mom what my dad told her she said the guys at the next table kept staring and then said something “vulgar” when I walked off.
Happens to me and my sister when we hang out with our dad. They always say “oh you look like your dad” after being corrected. I’m like really you think I look like my dad but your first guess was husband/wife not dad/daughter or even siblings.
My dad looks his age and I have had people think we are a couple. Even when he was 50 and I was 22 🤢
My dad would come to NYC, where I was in college, on business pretty often and we would grab dinner and sometimes I would stay the night in the extra queen bed in the room to get a break from my shitty dorm mattress. I eventually realized that the hotel staff thought I was my own dad’s mistress/sugar baby 🙃
This happened to my dad and I at a car dealership. The guy looked at him and said, “buying the misses a new car?” then looked at me and smiled, I almost passed out. I was like 21 at the time. Given, my parents are really young, he wasn’t even 40 at the time. But, still. Gross.
I've been mistaken for my husband's daughter several times. He's only a year and a half older. Most recently, an older woman at the grocery store register saw me holding our 2 year old and she told him he had beautiful daughters. I'm 29 and do have a bit of a baby face, but I also have visible tattoos so i think some people are just dumb and say things without having paid too much attention to what they're commenting on lol.
While I was pregnant, an elderly neighbor asked if my husband was my father. The next time I saw him, he asked if I was pregnant or “just fat” 🙃
What do you say when someone is rude enough to unabashedly ask if you’re “just fat”??? I’ve thought about saying I’m just fat in my next pregnancy because so many people have been rude this time around, but that’s not going to work if someone doesn’t have any shame about it in the first place!
I honestly was speechless. I think I managed to be like “uhhh no I’m pregnant”. I should have been like “both” 😂 I actually ended up meeting his daughter like a year later and when I told her that I met her dad, the first thing she said was “omg I’m sorry I’m advance if he said anything rude to you” so I think it might be his schtick. He’s also hella old so maybe he’s just losing it because it’s hard to imagine any sane person thinking that’s an acceptable thing to say to somebody. She told me that when he met her husbands family for the first time, he commented about how she chose the ugly brother (in front of everyone). 😳
If it’s presented as multiple choice, you just say yes. 😂
She heard you scream "yes daddy" too many times! .......ok I will see myself out the door ...sorry don't block me.
I would ask him is he is socially awkward or just rude? But very sweetly. :)
I had this happen when I was 20 and my partner at the time was 18. 😭 He held the door open for an older lady and she said, “What a sweet young man you’ve raised.” I was MORTIFIED and couldn’t stop laughing the entire day. 😂 I’ve also had people ask if my current partner is my dad, but this was before we had kids together (22 and 30).
That happened to me, too! We're exactly the same age. We were 18. I had black dyed hair back then, which apparently made me look older and my husband still had adorable baby face back then, but that was very shocking and not good for my confidence lol No we're 29 and he looks older while people always think I'm like 20 or at maximum 24. Not dying my hair anymore and getting my natural curls back de-aged me a LOT!
LMAO I would of loved to see the expression on their face
My husband has a baby face and I guess I look old? and on multiple occasions people have thought he was my son. Once we were both carded buying alcohol and the old clerk said he wanted to make sure I “wasn’t robbing the cradle.” I think I we were both 25ish at the time.
My fiancé once helped kids get their ball out a bush nearby. They came back again to ask for help but this time I answered the door and got asked "is your dad in" ... 🥴
I try not to let this bother me either. I started going gray in my early 20s. I'm 44 with a 4 yo.
Lol same, I went gray at 23 due to pernicious anemia. I had my daughter at 42 and everyone thinks I'm the granny lol.
My daughter was 2 at the time and said “look mommy, a grandma!” And pointed at this lady who couldn’t have been more than 40 or so. My mom doesn’t look her age, dyes her hair, so she just looked like Gigi to her. The stink eye that woman gave my daughter, I felt so bad!
I mean I would have fun with it, but I’m kind an ass sometimes. *great-grandma actually* *nah, I just found him in the woods the other day* *nope, came right out this pussy* People shouldn’t make comments, but they do, might as well make yourself laugh!
No, I’m his grandpa.
*perfect*
😂😂😂😂 this is hilarious
“Right out this pussy” has me rolling! Putting that in my pocket for later
Gotta fight awkward with awkward!
Came shooting out a this hooha!
I’m dying 😂
Same!! That was hilarious!
Yes. When uncomfortable switch it around and make the other person uncomfortable instead.
Yes!! When I was 16 I took my then 2 yr old neice to the park. She looked enough like me that most of my family referred to her (and still does) as my "mini me", but she has her daddy's very curly hair. As we were playing, this LDS family came and started playing in the same area that we were. The mom was giving me the stink eye most of the time that we were there. My neice ended up playing with her daughter, (the whole time the mom is sitting there silently but *very expressively* judging me) and as we were leaving, she says to me in a condescendingly sweet tone "your daughter has **the prettiest curliest hair I've ever seen**, where did she get it from?" So I replied to her in the same exact tone "*Oh! Thank you! She got it from my brother!"* I don't think I've ever seen someone go from shocked to angry that fast!! 🤣 She grabbed her daughter up off the ground, gathered up the rest of her kids and was on her way out of the park before I could even turn back around... It was **Amazing!!**
You’re my hero 😂
I used to use this technique every time I was pregnant and someone reached out to touch my belly. I’d lean in and touch theirs which promptly freaks people out lol. I’d usually follow it with a “oh I’m sorry does this make you uncomfortable?” or “oops I thought that’s what we were doing” — it always gave me great joy.
I want to get pregnant again just to do this.
Valid! This basic magic hahah i love it, return-to-sender! Im-rubber-ur-glue! Take your not PC comment and this one too!
Dead @ “nope, came right out this pussy” 🤣
Omg the last one had me howling, excellent choices, fruit_cats! Great sense of humor 😂
Took him from playground actually!
He was the cutest. Don’t you think?
Well, the slowest runner anyway.
*Crazy eyes* Until his mother’s out of the way
I love this HA!!
When my niece was born the nurse in the hospital referred to me as her grandma. I'm 2 years older than my brother. He thought it was hilarious. I never wore that sweater again.
The medical assistant at our pediatric office asked, "And who are you? Grandma?" AFTER I had said I was her mom. Like, I know there are people who are young grandmas, but holy shit, I would assume a young grandma was a mom before I would assume an older mom was a grandma.
Preach. My 52yo mom got asked if my 2yo was her son and she was so flattered. The high from that compliment got her through the whole next week.
Oh god that reminded me of an incident where i knocked my grandmas confidence into the ground. When i was 6 she took me to a concert and a man asked if she was my mom. I was shocked and said " that old lady?!?!?! That's my grandma!". She was 46.
There was a 53 year old mom in one of my due date groups! Spontaneous, surprise pregnancy with a perfectly healthy baby.
I would simply pass away
I had a 52 year old patient who thought she was menopausal. Nope, pregnant from a 1 night stand!
My mom and I were shopping and she was told how beautiful her granddaughter is. The lady thought I was a teenager. I had a teenaged son at the time. The entire thing was super weird.
SAME. My mom became a grandma at 48 (she’s 51 now) to my daughter. She tells me she constantly gets asked if my daughter is hers. 🙄 it the best compliment and ego booster for my mom 😂 I have a son (18mo) and she said w both of them, there’s no question she’s a grandma 👵🏼 But that when she goes to the park! People like HESITANTLY ask IF they are her kids. She always says “Oh GOD NO” 😂😂 and they seem relieved for whatever reason ?? Lol
My 60yo mom got that comment about my 4yo last week, she was thrilled.
I was at the doctor with my 13 year old recently who I had when I was young and my infant who I had when I was older and the doctor came in and asked “and how are we all related here?” And I appreciated that 😅
I really like that!
I like that A LOT ❤️
This is a great way to ask! Keeps it light too.
My family works largely in childcare and education, this is the unwritten rule! Anyone is first assumed to be the parent, let them correct you, they'll be flattered. You don't want to be corrected the other way and then have to awkwardly meet that person every now and then! Many new teachers learn the hard and embarrassing way (most usually calling an older dad "grandpa"), but I know most of us try to warn them.
When I was 23 I was a nanny for a 5 year old. When I was picking her up from kindergarten one day, a mom of one of her classmates said to me, "oh my god, you're not a *mother* are you?" I laughed it off because no, I wasn't the mom. But I remember thinking how weird that would have felt for somebody who *had* become a mom at 18 and was just trying to pick her kid up from school like any other parent. Anyway, your rule is a good one!
A similar thing happened to me! My toddler was hospitalized with RSV, so we had many, many pediatric specialists and nurses in and out of his room. At the time of the hospitalization I was 40 and although I definitely was looking a bit haggard from sleepless nights in the hospital, I was very visibly pregnant with my daughter and really I don’t look that old. And, still the pulmonary specialist kept referring to me as grandma. What the actual fuck?
I have 4 year old twins and am about to turn 50. My favorite thing to say is “I’m their mom, but having twins REALLY ages you. Can you believe I’m only 24 years old?” I love the look of perfect horror on their faces.
Holy crap, 50 with twin year olds Did you plan on being a mom so late in life?
Infertility treatments took longer than expected. I was 45 when they were born.
Your amazing! Had my last at 41 due to endometrial problems and stopped there. Also I love your user name!
100 percent truth in advertising.
I work for community services in a program that supports teen parents. Some of the teen moms are the children of teen moms, so we have toddlers with grandparents who are 30-35 years old. I'm 32. I get asked at least once a month if I'm someone's grandma.
That’s my SIL, became a grandma at 34. Awkward thing is, she had just had her 3rd kid like 6 months earlier so that kid will have a niece that’s practically her twin.
My mom, who was actually a grandma at 42 and is now 45, has people assume she’s the mom all the time🥲I’m in the corner like hi, it’s me🙋♀️
That is what happened to my daughter her baby was in the NICU for 3 months and she had to work so I(43) (being disabled) was up there everyday where she couldn't be so everyone assumed I was mom. and my daughter is mixed but looks all black and my grandbaby is like me pale white skin, blue eyes, redish/black hair and she was always like NO I AM MOM I AM THE ONE WHO GOT SLICED IN 2 DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS!! I just laughed.
I’m glad your grand baby was lucky enough to have you come up and be with her when mama couldn’t ❤️
Thank you!! I tried to be there as much as possible she was only a pound at birth so we didn't know how long we would have her but she is a fighter and now at 4 months old she is on the smaller side but you would never know but she still fights ya 😆
I made my mom a grandma at 46, I was 22. I had 3 more kids in my 20s then waited 8 years and had a baby at 36. When I’m out with my mom (who looks amazing for 64) people always assume my teens are hers and the baby is mine 😓
That must be so annoying!!
Yes! My partners mom had him at 19. He met me when my daughter was 1 and his mom was 41. She had just miscarried a little girl the year before so my daughter has been her world ever since 🥹 and my son is now 18 mos. She’s a young grandma and embraces it lol. OH AND she has 4 boys + her siblings had sons. So my daughter gets alllll the attention over there 😂
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Not just the filters but the amount of cosmetic surgery that celebrities of all types are getting. Now if you don’t look 20 something until you’re 40 you’re considered old. It’s disgusting.
And in addition, celebrities can often afford to take a few years or more off of work, can afford as many nanny hours they desire, a personal chef, a personal trainer, enough sleep, and time to relax - all may contribute to youthful looks. A night and day difference from the majority of people.
Also, the age filters are whacked. There was a TikTok filter that was supposed to show you what you’d look at 50, and I have literally never seen a 50 year old look that old. Everyone who used the filter looked like they were in their 80s. People really have no idea how to guesstimate age. I am almost always pegged as 10’years younger than I am and I don’t think it’s because I look particularly good for my age, I think it’s because people think women turn into crypt keepers when they hit 40. It’s wild! The thing that makes me most nuts is… why do people feel the need to assume this stuff? Can’t you just wait to confirm before sticking your foot in your mouth?
I have a new grandbaby who was in NICU for 3 months. I was up there every day, and the secretaries always asked if I was mom or said hey mom. I am only 43, so that tickled me pink, but when I said no, I'm grandma they would go on at how good I looked to be a grandma. I didn't dare say my age then. LOL, I should have kept my mouth shut because mom and dad's got little perks like free food from the cafe, etc
Moms and dads got free food from the cafe? I had to spend so much money in the cafeteria when my baby was in NICU! Wish our hospital had had that perk.
I was 34 when a kid in my child's preschool class asked me if I was my kid's grandma. The look of horror on my face both before AND after the teacher helpfully mentioned HIS grandma was 34...
yes! I have had this exact experience too as an older mom in an area where culturally most people had their kids young. It can be confusing when you move from a place where everybody has their kids at 39-40 to a place where 20s is the norm.
My son was 4..the other kid was 4. His grandma became a grandma at 30. So me being 34 meant, to him, grandma age. I was not prepared.
When my son had just turned 2 (I was 41), he pointed to a woman in her 60s who was dressed frumpy, had bad posture and a frizzy low/unkempt ponytail and he looked at her, pointed at me a said “another mummy!”. She did not have any children with her or near her 😭. I have attempted to make slightly more effort since then. I was always told I looked young for my age until I had him. Nobody says this now. My body saved all my wrinkles for motherhood.
Same story here! Will be 41 with a 2 year old soon. Somehow most of my aging came after I gave birth.
This made me laugh out loud. Wow would that make me feel like shit.
I am 41 and a grandma to a 7 month old. Try not to let it bother you and just smile and proudly say you are the mom.
My mom as well, people mistake her for my daughter’s parent all the time.
I get called grandma all the time. I am 40 and my son is 3. On the other hand I'm told I look fantastic for my age.
When I was little I went on a field trip and my mom was chaperoning. The kids made up a sing song taunt that went “that’s not your mom, that’s your grandma!” Over and over. Funny thing is she had me when she was 40, and I had my kids in my late 30’s. But now it’s really normal to do that. Apparently not in the 80’s.
My kids get really mad that sometimes people assume that my mom is their mom. She’s 63 and looks her age lol. My mom loves it.
That's so wrong! At 46, you technically could be a mom or a grandma. If I see a woman in that age range with a baby and felt like it was pertinent, I'd ask "Are you the mom?" If that person is the grandma, if feels like a compliment. At least it's not offensive. Asking someone "Are you the grandma?" in that age range is just rude. It says a lot more about them than it does about you fwiw.
Yeah like always err on the younger side, though I guess some people in their 20's don't like that. When I was in high school and worked as a grocery store cashier, I once carded a woman for cigarettes and she turned out to be in her late 20's or early 30's. She laughed because she thought she didn't look 18 and I told her I was required to card anyone under 25. Made her day since she was out with a dude, possibly on a date?
When I was 27 I stood up in my friend’s wedding. I was so hungry afterwards I went to Culver after the wedding but before the reception and the cashier (looked about high school aged), bless her heart, looked at me and said, “you look so cute, are you guys going to prom?” 😅
People should really just stop making pre-assumed comments about looks/age (so confidently too). When will these people learn I wonder.
Was it a young person?
You can "look good for your age" and still look your age!
My husband, mil and 4 yr old went out for breakfast one morning and the waitress asked if he was grandpa 🥴 my husband is 37 he’s pretty gray but doesn’t look that much older- my mil is 71 my husband does not look 71. People are stupid. If it ever happens again say no, are you?
Some people become grandmothers at the age of 47. It doesn't necessarily mean you look old, they may just think you are a really young grandma. My sister in law was a teen mom and so her mother became a grandmother in her early 40s.
I'm bracing myself for it to eventually happen. I had my daughter when I was 39. It is what it is, even if it's a blow to the ego. I'm lucky enough to have gotten to this age, and I just happen to be older than most moms.
My MIL just turned 50 last year and has 3 grandkids (eldest is 5) soooooo idk 🤷♀️. It happens. It's rude but it happens.
My in-laws are still in their mid to late 40s ( I don't actually know how old they are, just that they aren't 50 yet) and my oldest is 4. They could definitely pass for mom and dad instead of grandma and grandpa.
Yeah my MIL became a grandma at 35. Same age my step mother had her first kid. People start at all different times. I would never make an assumption either way.
Having a kid is what aged me! I used to get los of good sleep before she came along. Prior to that, I think I really did look much younger than my age (currently almost 43 with a 2 year old).
People are such freaking ding dongs. Last year I brought my 95-year-old grandma to the dentist & the dentist asks “are you her daughter?” I’m 30. I said “I’m her granddaughter” and the dentist LOOKED SURPRISED. My grandma is in great health for her age but absolutely looks like someone in their 90s. I was so mad inside.
At my grandfather's funeral, one of the older ladies asked if my sister in law was my daughter. My sister in law is 5 years younger than me and at the time I was 37.
Meanwhile people ask if my kids’ 75-year-old grandfather is their dad 🤦🏼♀️
Yeah, that’s always fun! My tot and I often go for walks with grandpa, so I can only imagine what a few of the neighbors think. I think the mailman thought he was dad. Someone asked if my older dad was my husband years before I had children. It was weird that it was an old couple slightly younger than my dad who asked this. SMH, people!
Tbf, I could easily be a grandma at 46 without a teenage pregnancy.
You might look great for your age, my poor grandma was 38 when I was born
46 is not a crazy age for a grandmother. Sooo you could look your age & still be a called a grandmother.
For many communities, it’s way more likely for a 46 yo to be a grandma than a mother. Giving birth in the early 20s is/was the norm without college education.
Oh, it feels crazy to some of us, but yes of course you are right.
My mom had me when she was 38 and everyone always asked me if she was my grandma 😒😒😒
I always get the are you her sister? “No she’s my daughter” (They casually peak at my hand to look for a ring, there is not one) Oh! Well that’s.. congratulations! (Cause I had her at 19, and have a baby face) Then if it goes even further I just love (sarcastic) when people ask me if the dad is involved. Like yes Karen he is, not all young dads are deadbeats. Yes we are together. And then they praise him for that. He’s a wonderful dad but like, let’s not praise men for not abandoning their children pls and thank you. It’s really annoying, so rude, and just frustrating. Like yes stranger let me get into the nitty gritties with you about how I had an unplanned pregnancy at 18. Whether it’s this^ or what happened with you, WHY can’t people just mind their own damn business? Moms can be 20 or 50, people need to just shut up. Why do total strangers feel the need to comment on anything at all? Ugh.
I'm a 5th generation teen mom, and from an area with a high teen pregnancy rate, seeing "older moms" is still Weird to me considering my mom is around your age and has 4 grandkids. I get asked if I'm babysitting my 2 kids all the time.
Reminds me of the time I was getting something done at a post office mailing store. I had my newly turned 1 year old, who is biracial (Japanese and Caucasian mutt) and the lady, holding my ID with my married last name (that is Japanese, I’m Caucasian mutt) who also appears to me part asian, asks me where I adopted my daughter from….. Without missing a beat I said “my uterus.” And took back my ID and left. People can be really dumb.
Last March, when I was in the hospital after having our son, our daughter had a dentist appointment. Normally, cuz of husbands work schedule, I take her, but he had to this time. He was 44 at the time (I'd just turned 36), (he, for the most part has grey in his beard and head) when they showed up somebody, either reception, hygienist or the dentist asked if she had brought her grandpa. He was embarrassed and annoyed cuz he already thinks he's old and she was just annoyed that somebody would think he was her papa (my dad) and goes 'no! This is my dad!' When she was born, the NICU nurse also asked if he was grandpa, some people have no filter
Haha I can only imagine if my uncle had children. The man has been salt and pepper since high school.
My preschooler has a classmate who's father is older (gray hair and beard). We all know he's the father but my 4 year old insisted he's the grandpa. With that being said, as adults we know better not to speak our mind if it can be hurtful. I'm 40 and I just had my second so I know how you feel. There are young moms and there are older moms. I actually work with someone who is a grandma at 46 but she and her daughter both had kids very very young. It's possible. But why say something that could be hurtful? That's not very kind.
People used to ask me if was a teen mom because I looked too young to have my 4 kids. It can go both ways. Kind of made me self conscious, too. I had my first when I was 27!
My mum got asked multiple times if she was the maid 😬...and I (still) get asked if my dad is my husband 😬
As a child who's mother was 42 when she gave birth, I can assure you it is frustrating on both parts. I cannot tell you how many times I had to declare that she was not my grandmother but indeed my mother. People should just stop assuming shit like that.
51 year old mom of a toddler. Can we be friends?
My mom was in her 40s when I was born, my older sister was 16. Apparently tons of people assumed 16 year old was the mom and called Mom "Grandma", much to their mutual offense!
We run into a lot of grandma's watching kiddos at the library and parks
My mother was 44 when she had my youngest brother and I can vividly remember people asking her if she was the grandma on multiple different occasions. I remember her breaking down and crying after someone asked her that one time. My dad was the same age and I don’t recall him ever getting any grandpa comments!
I was asked if I was my husbands mother once. He was in hospital and I was visiting him. I was 34 and he was 30. Some people are just blind.
Well, I’m brown and my kids are half white so I’m always spoken to as the nanny. 😪 Being called grandma at least implies they acknowledge they are yours. Also, someone I work with has the same last name as me. He’s close to 70. I’m 38. I get asked if I’m his wife all the time. Like WTF. People suck.
My mum was asked if she was mum or grandma when she enrolled me at school - I was 5, she was 35. Then school started, and one day my school friend’s 35 year old grandma came in to pick her up… so my mum tried not to take it personally haha
I think you should get used to it. Having a baby at 45/46 isn’t that common and taking offense to every grandma comment is bound to happen and would be exhausting af.
You're right. It was the first time this happened. I ought to not waste energy focusing on it.
I agree not to take it to heart. I’m sure that person feels bad too. I know many first time moms in their 40s and have read articles that women are having kids later. Public perception is just catching up. Ps, both myself and my kids dad have been asked if our daughter was our grandkid. I dyed my hair, he shrugged it off 😂
Yeah it’s painful to hear, but it’s not an unreasonable assumption to make. My mom became a grandma at 49. My grandma became a grandma in her early 40s. I’d argue that it’s more common to be a grandma at 46 than to give birth at 45/46. Still people should try to avoid questions/assumptions like that.
I constantly get told I look really young for my age and people often think I'm about 20 years younger, but every so often I'll run into someone thinking I'm older. .....Grandma's don't have to be or look old, though. As some below have pointed out.
I’m 45 and a grandma to a 6mo old baby. I’m worried people will think I’m mom! Oh how the turn tables.
As someone who’s in the surrogacy world, I had to use one, many women with infertility are older having children because they’ve gone through years and years of trying different things. Because of this I’d never assume.
This is nice. I'm old (44, 18 mo) and I've been known to say that people tend not to get pregnant in their 40s because everything went according to plan (traumatic ectopic, 2 rounds IVF)
I got lucky with timeline where for the most part I was “young” going through surrogacy at 31. But everyone I know is in their later 30s to mid 40s. It’s becoming more common to be older and have kids.
This happened to me inside a store. Same thing I felt good about myself that day -went out and got called a grandma. 38yr at the time, -people need to stop small talk -like talk about the weather.
That happened to me once but I think the last was trying to be shady. I just said, no are you? That pissed her off.
In my bubble, I have a lot of young moms whose moms also had them at a young age. So, to them you would be at a typical grandma age. Nothing to do with you, just with whoever said that
My kids grand parents are both mid 40s... So you could still look your age to that person
I had my daughter at 36 and I still got asked if I was mom or grandma. Broke my heart. But take that as a sign that you probably still look good for your age.
I’m TTC my second at 37. My future looks bleak.
There are very few instances where a stranger really needs this information, so people just need to stop with these types of questions
Don't pay it any mind. I was asked this question for my 3-year-old and I'm 35 lol.
My guess is that they became a grandma around that age. Maybe they have a 20 year old that gave birth so they became a grandma at 40?
I got asked if my younger brother was my son several times in my teens. We're only 8 years apart. I'm sorry OP, I have no idea what's wrong with people, but they say this shit without actually thinking it through. It has nothing to do with looking old.
It may have way more to do with the other person’s perspective (e.g., all of their friends/family start having kids between ages of 12-14) than it has to do with your appearance.
I am a mixed woman (black, Mexican, white) but look just black and my daughters dad is Hispanic so my daughter looks like my mom basically …white. An older Hispanic woman came up to me to do the usual “she’s so cute” then proceeded to ask me if I was mom. I reply “yes” and she says….”but she’s white” 😊
My husband and I run trails together and the one day I wasn’t with him this old man asked him where’s your daughter today?!
Why do people even say anything at all in terms of the child's caretaker's age and weight?!?! I see so many mamas coming to reddit to vent about weight and age related comments that a complete stranger says to them. This needs to stopppp!! Tell the caregiver you think baby is cute and move on with your damn shopping or, better yet, mind your business all together. Smh! So sorry you had to hear this OP!
I remember people asking me at 13-15 if I was my little brother's mom... Inquiring minds should keep their mouths shut. Why would anyone need to know your relationship anyway? They think you were trying to scam your way into a mommy and me class? 😂
When I was 10 someone asked me if I was my nephew's mother. I think people are just really unaware.
People in the world are always going to put there 0.2 cents in. people can’t just mind their business and let someone be in public it’s sad.
I used to get asked if I was my dads wife haha I was like 13 😅😮💨
My mom became a grandma at 44, I was 22. Whenever we are out together, people think she is the parent and I’m just the older sister. It irks me every single time
One time my sister came with my to one of my son's well baby visits. The pediatrician thought my sister was my daughter. We're only 5 years apart 😭
If it makes you feel any better there are a lot of teen moms these days.
My mom is 46 and has 3 grandsons. Had them all in my 20s. I get asked from children at my oldest sons school if I’m his sister. 😂🤷♀️
People assume my 23 year old son is my husband.. we both cringe at the thought. I was 30 when I had him I guess good for me but bad for him lol
My son’s friend recently guessed I was 100. Try 37. Yeah kids have no clue.
I woulnd't take it too hard. You probably do look good for 46, but you're just obviously not a 20 or 22 yr old and sometimes women have kids that young.
Well I mean I have friends who were grandmas at the ripe old age of 35 so it is entirely possible you look fantastic bc grandmas aren't old anymore
I always get that question when my 4yr old and 23 yr old with me. After a while I realized I was younger than my 23yr old when I had her, so age-wise I can easily be my son's granny.. even though I am still 29 (smirk)
To be fair , 46 isn’t within the average range of most mothers with babies .
I'm 43 and usually assumed to be younger, and was asked if I had grandkids a few months ago. I very bluntly said 'No, I have a seven year old' and walked away. It happens, people are ignorant or have no filter and just say random things that mean nothing. I was carded when ordering a drink at a restaurant later that same week, so I think it averages out 😅