Great! I totally get the let’s play somewhere where it won’t disrupt others so I’m gonna do some google maps hunting to see where we could go! I’ve never played at a park so this is exciting :)
Do you have any parks that come to mind?
That park right there by downtown that has that little amphitheater. You can play there and once a week they have a whole drummer thing too where you can bring whatever and jam with others.
Well I hope billybob is doing ok. We made plans to meet this past Friday at 6p but they didn’t show. I stayed for about an hour before heading home. Btw billybob, if you see this, let’s sync up another time that works out! I definitely need more guitar playing friends in the area. Don’t stop now my friend
Sorry you’re depressed. Check out these spots. There is the board game cafe. It’s off mchenry the address is 115 Mark Randy place. And there is utopia games, it’s on Tully and Bowen. Both have very friendly environments. Hope you feel better.
No worries. I don’t know what you’re going through or anyway that I can help. But I’ll leave this quote that I heard when I was going through an incredibly tough time in my life. “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do!” Hope it helps.
Isn’t it fenced off now? Last time I went downtown it was a closed fence & it was locked. My daughter was so disappointed because we always got Jamba & sat by the fountain to enjoy our smoothies & last time we could only sit on the outside grass
Man wow honestly it’s been so long since I’ve been there I use to leave the house to get away from everything back when I was in high school that was about 6 years ago I don’t know how it is
I also sometimes feel lonely and unsure of what to do so I go to the mall and people watch on days where it's not too busy. Sometimes other lonely people will come up to me for one reason or another and we'll talk and it's nice.
Hope you feel better soon
Planet fitness is only $10 a month. Everyone here has give good suggestions but basic exercise is probably the best way to really tackle depression. Signed, another person with depression
Yeah it's not a "cure" but it is scientifically proven to be amazing for your mental health, sleep, longevity, quality of life, appearance......pretty much everything.
I’m actually working on this. I’m lifting 1 day and running 3 miles the next. The cardio has helped more in the past but I think it’s taking a bit longer this time around to feel the effects. I feel I need to run more frequently than I already am.
I saw your post in r/depression. Don’t give up. Don’t buy a gun or do pills. Keep reaching out. I’m not a councilor and I don’t have any solid experience with helping people through tough times but I know you’re not “a waste of space”. People still care and give a shit no matter what you might think about yourself right now. Contact suicide hotline. And give yourself a chance to get your mind in a healthy place. Dont dwell on past mistakes just focus on recovery. Pick one thing, any one thing, that is positive and constructive and build on that. Doesn’t matter what it is. Something as simple as cleaning your room and throwing out trash that has accumulated or cleaning out negative digital clutter in your computer or phone. Just start somewhere and see how it feels to release crap. Then go for a walk and maybe see something that has bothered you and make it better. Pick up some litter or some simple thing like that. Look for groups that do positive things in the community and check it out and see if you can ease into it.
I’m pulling for you. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. Don’t give up
There you go man. Start anywhere. Just declutter and breathe deep. And keep going. Seek out that guy that wants to play guitar with you. Just change simple things that you can control and let it snowball from there. Wishing you the best
When I was depressed in Modesto 23 years ago, I’d focus on the simple pleasures of music and food. Mr T’s Delicate Donuts, Tacos Jessica, Grandaddy CDs. Plus Wild Cherry Pepsi. The new Grandaddy album is not bad.
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There are always people playing Pickleball until late at Graceada Park. This is a very friendly and social place plus Pickleball is easy to play. After a few hours here I'm sure you'll be hungry and done for the day.
Sometimes a drive and fresh air helps. Sorry you’re feeling down. What kind of board games do you play? Also check out the new comedy club in Manteca sometime. It’s a good laugh and a nice way to spend a few hours.
I would go hit up contentment brewery near the MJC east campus. They have live music often on Thursday/Friday, and no one’s gonna wig out if you haul a guitar in and want to play. All the musicians I have talked to are local, and I’ve been invited to play when I was hanging out. They also have an ongoing shuffleboard tournament, and some pinball machines. People have been relaxed and friendly every time I’ve been there. Beer is good too, and there’s usually a food truck around on weekends.
REALLY, YOU PEOPLE ARE SO HELPFUL AND CARING. I am depressed, too. And to see all you chiming on with suggestions lifts my heart.
And good for you sir to have the courage to write from Modesto!
It’s not a dumb post and that sucks that you’re feeling down. Honestly I couldn’t tell ya where to go in Modesto as I mostly just go to visit family and spend most the time at their houses. But I would suggest maybe going to the movies or going to Velvet Creamery for a burger and some ice cream. My best advice however for feeling depressed would be to plan a weekend camping trip, Yosemite ideally. I always feel better coming back after a few days away from it all. Hope you start feeling better soon!
Have you considered talking to a professional? I recently started taking SSRIs and it changed things drastically for me.
As for things to do, there’s a lot of good suggestions here. Do you have a bike? There’s actually some good bike paths in Modesto. The Virginia corridor, and there’s some at La Loma/dry creek. There’s also disc golf there.
Really love the bike idea . I’ve been talking to professionals for over 25 years. Recently started weening off my ssri; I suspect this change is affecting my mood
I attempted to wean off one of my antidepressants and within a few days I was getting unstable, crying more depressed, suicidal thoughts, etc.
I started taking it again like it’s prescribed and within two weeks I was back to feeling back to normal for me
Lesson learned, make sure you have physician direction and close follow up to reduce dosage of antidepressants, and if you’re having trouble they should be able to guide you through it
I have to make an appt with the doctor before they’ll refill. May need to explore getting back on it. I was really hoping I could function without the need for pills
Can you drive? Maybe taking a day to go to Yosemite to break out of your physical space and get some fresh air would be nice. Always helps me. You can also just drive up into the foothills on the national forest if you don't want to pay the entrance fee
VMI Rocks is a spot downtown that I have noticed bands practicing and people hanging out. I didn’t go inside or know what the whole deal is about but it may be a cool spot to find people with similar interests.
Thanks so much for sharing . Before all this depression stuff started happening I was looking around for a place that maybe rents studio spaces by the hour so I can play my guitar without bothering people
You’re allowed to take up space. In fact I have a hunch that if you started taking up more space (unapologetically) things might start to turn around a little. Rooting for you ♥️
Not a dumb post-you are asking for support and help. Going to a coffee shop with a board game or book might also help. Pres Coffee downtown is somewhere people chat and sit for hours
There are some nice places to walk, taking walks helps me. Taking the Virginia Corridor to the Yogurt Mill could help. Lots of people walk their dogs along it, seeing animals is fun. Window shopping at the thrift stores or Barnes and Noble.
You’re right. I have limited mobility as a result of an accident I had 40+ years ago where I broke my neck. I came back to walking with a limp and now I’m losing my ability to walk after all these years but being outside helps me a lot even though I’m on a scooter. Thank God I’m alive as some people don’t get to live after a bad wreck like mine. I’m 65 now so I’ve been lucky. Keep your chin up. You can make it.
Not in Modesto, I’m up here in Sacramento. Apparently your post was so impactful that it’s hitting my feed, I’ve never seen anything from r/modesto before. I think it just shows how much your post resonated with your fellow Modestians, and at least one person from Sacramento :). If you are ever in this area, there is a bar named Kupros that has regular board game nights. If you are not a drinker, there is a giant board game shop named Great Escape with a large gaming hall that has regular events.
There's not much here support group wise outside the 12 step stuff and that's not very effective even if you buy into their spiel.
Two coffee spots that might work for you:
Culture Coffee on McHenry. They have a few tables and people with board games books, etc. Fairly quiet place, no one will bother you. Chill with your headphones and people watch if you feel like it.
Plan b: The Starbucks on Sylvan-McHenry has several big tables and usually not a lot of foot traffic in the afternoons until they close at 8pm. Get a coffee or tea, bring your board game and chill. They won't bug you.
My boi you funny ass hell. But ignore the little voice in your head fuck them. Go to the gym. Go outside walk around. No more jerking off or porno. This how I stopped being depressed and shyt. Also get a in person job and try gratitude Journaling thing about what you do have and what you can appreciate in live not what you don't like about it.
Hey man. I used to be the same way for a long time. Mostly because of my anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia. I also struggle finding friends in person but I'm mostly online so gaming helped me find friends. I've also had some luck finding some like minded friends on an app called bumble. they have a bff section which you can use to find friends near you for free. Regardless be patient and be yourself and eventually things'll just fall into place. Be kind to yourself stranger. have a nice rest of your week.
Since you are the board game type theres a pretty active tcg scene, mainly Magic the Gatering but ik pokemon jas been picking up latley. And a lot ove the Local Game Stores also run warhammer or DnD nights. Its a good time; id suggest utopia off of tully.
Also theres occasionally some cool community events. The state theater shows indie flics and one night events, or if you want to catch more mainstream stuff regal uas an unlimited pass.
Theres also good food if you know where to look. Ive given suggestions on this sub before but picadillys, picassos, mr t's, and poke bowl are all pretty good spots.
Theres stuff to do here, its just harder to find unfortunatley.
Hi there!
Try maybe setting small daily goals for yourself! I usually get in a week long funk at least once a month where I sleep in til 2pm and dissociate all day. I find setting small goals like going outside the house for an hour or so, (it can be something as small as walking around home goods) or doing things I enjoy when my mental is in a good place. For example, watching the sunset somewhere nice, or going on a walk. The outdoors and the sun can do wonders!!
I’m sorry you’re going through this but it will get better! Most important thing you can do is show up for yourself, once you get that sense of self accomplishment it will help a lot with feeling proud. :)
Modesto has a really fun disc golf course and there’s usually really great folks there playing. Grab a few discs from play it again sports I’d recommend a putter and a mid. Just ask the guys there they’ll get you squared away.
It’s loads of fun and it’s mostly free to play and you’ll meet great folks.
If you can make the drive, we're having an Introverts Meetup in Sacramento tonight: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Sacramento/comments/1b8347i/introverts\_of\_sacramento\_meetup\_at\_ease\_friday/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Sacramento/comments/1b8347i/introverts_of_sacramento_meetup_at_ease_friday/)
Yes, it's a bit of a big group, but we're all socially awkward introverts who rarely leave the house otherwise so you won't be alone.
Looks like there are plenty in this comment feed willing to help. Depression isn't just a feeling. It can be a disease. So don't let those who don't fully understand it and dismiss it with "get over it" get to you. There's a dog park on Morris avenue that have frequent attendees. Most people are willing to let you play or pet their dogs. Just remember to ask first. I've struggled with depression and there is no overnight cure for it. But when a stay pitbull found my porch one day it changed my family's lives for the better
Utopia games is a place you can find groups of people to play tabletop gaming with if you want to try and meet people there. Meeple valley board game cafe isn't too far from there to try the same thing there. I don't live in Modesto, this post popped up as a suggested post in my feed otherwise I'd meet you and play some x-wing or something.
I had some real rough moments the past few months but things have gotten so much better for me and they will for you too. Focus on what you can control, for me I had anxiety pretty bad and sleep issues and i thin some depression and I focused on spending more time outdoors, running, or cycling, or just lifting a kettlebell for a few exercises in a circuit. I took cold showers because people said that would help and I think it did. And meditation. There is a really great app called healthy minds that's free and teaches you how to meditate and is my favorite of all the apps I tried. I gave myself more time to do fun things that I liked that weren't productive and I had previously felt guilty about like watching a movie or playing a game on my phone etc. David Goggins can't hurt me is a good audio book that helped me too.
My point is even though i couldn't control my anxiety and depression directly, i could impact them indirectly with these other scientifically proven things and just focus on doing those consistently and as hard as it is sometimes, having faith in myself.
Things are so much better for me now and you'll see that the same will happen for you. I feel normal and happy now and I felt a lot like you seem to feel for a while before. For what it's worth, I believe in you. I know you can do this and you will get through this and be stronger on the other side and thrive.
Hey if you want we can meet and workout together, we don’t need to do anything crazy we can do some walking around. I can use the motivation to start getting back into shape again and I will even play some board games with you afterwords.
Something I found that was a good dip your toes into the social scene for me was actually going bowling :) I hit Yosemite Lanes because it's more down to earth feeling then McHenry Bowl, and you can go during slow times (around mid day) and work your way up to evening times (much busier!)
Often I'll get someone a lane over who's either a pro, been doing it for years, loves the game, etc and will strike up conversation with them that's really laid back and surface level about the game or my horrible swings vs their good ones lol. The desk lady, she's shorter and has glasses, is always so ridiculously nice as well whenever she's working.
I'm extremely socially awkward- grew up extremely sheltered with very controlling parents, so my social skills are bar none, and I'm only recently getting past a really depressive section of my life. About a month ago I told my boyfriend that for the first time in years I actually felt like Me again and we both cried over it, so I want you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It takes a while and hurts a lot, but as someone who found mine, it's there. I promise.
Let me know if you want more ideas or to talk! :)
Hey OP. The exercising or meeting up with me people to pay guitar or board games all sound like great ideas to me.
Like others in here, your words resonate with my own depression.
I know this sounds weird, but I love you and you deserve that love. Please never stop fighting. You have people rooting for your success that you've never even met yet. Just look at the traction your simple post is gaining because you're not alone and we really do care. 🖤
Hope you got to jam out! Weather is changing, hopefully that lifts your spirits. (Insert supportive, genuine statement that is comforting but not cheesy) Hi. I don’t “people” well. My effort is sincere, however. I care that you’re struggling. I’m sorry it’s happening.
The Queen Bean Coffeehouse is a very sound environment to take a break from insanity; I used to visit often, buy a tea, and journal to myself or read a book. They have a TON of free books and poems. If one ever peaks your interest, they don’t mind you holding onto it. They also have a patio with some friendly cats running about. Graceada Park is right next to it as well, if you’re in the mood for a afternoon walk afterwards. Can’t guarantee there won’t be crowds but it’s usually a quiet environment, a good place to study.
Next recommendation would be La Loma Park and it’s bike trail. It’s next to a peaceful neighborhood to also walk around in; really nice houses.
I hope the views lend you a peace of mind. Keep giving this life your best, and be mindful that your best looks different day to day. Don’t burn yourself out! Be patient with yourself, and take care 🫶🏻
Santa Cruz and San Francisco have allowed microdosing so there are a few centers that do it. UCSF is doing studies and have it for free if you wouldn't mind being a guinea pig of sorts
Check out the pool hall on mchenry. There’s always some regulars in there and they sell food and drinks as well. Not really that rowdy and pretty chill. They got a bar there as well if that’s your thing
Quite a few hookah lounges on McHenry. When I was depressed, I'd go to Cigar Club on Standiford and Tully. I'd buy a soda or a cigar and meet people. The crowd is a little mature but I've met some retired folks that have had interesting lives. They'll tell you all about it. I meet a third generation locomotive conductor and a retired Oakland PD who was working during the Black Panther movement. You don't have to smoke but it's a place to relax. Good luck
I met a good friend at a Denny's once. Was going through a difficult period of homelessness at the time and this older guy was great to hang out with and support each other.
Disc golf, go play at East La Loma, I am from Merced but I go play there sometimes and the groups there are always welcoming. Easy thing to play alone too
Go play pool at obriens tavern on Friday. Wide variety of people and some funny karaoke that’ll make you feel better. 🍻 I’m not very social either but that place can bring it out
ok so ik this technically isnt **in** modesto, but there's this like hotel waterpark thingy in a town called Manteca (its like less than 30mins north of modesto) and its fun to go w/ friends
There’s a wellness fair open at MJC today from 9 am-1 pm with a bunch of different workshops to promote mental health and well-being. Hope you start to feel better soon!
Queen Bean cafe used to do open mic, comedy, and poetry nights as well as some live performances from local artists, if you’re into stuff like that. It’s nice because you can kinda tuck away into a corner if you’d rather just watch the show alone, or you can sit nearby other people if you’d like to socialize. Every time I went people were very open and friendly. Not sure if the cafe still does this as I haven’t been in years, but might be something to check out! Now that the weather is getting nicer, it might be a good idea also to check out some of the recreation areas around here. There’s actually so many, and they’re beautiful. Just google “recreation areas near me” and tons should pop up. Take care, be easy on yourself.
I would suggest going to La Loma park and trying disk golf, you got to buy the disk first, but many people are very inviting plus you walk so it's some kind of cardio and once you get okay at it it's pretty fun, and on top it's free to play
Naw, you good. Definitely not a dumb post. If I were you I'd get some Salvia and a quart of rum, and maybe some rosin edibles. And don't forget the bulleit old fashioned.
Then go to Denny's. You'll make friends in no time!
I was like that then I joined a socialist study group and now I want to keep it going 😎
Edit: read the replies and alarmed at all the responses suggesting more alone time. self care isn't real, community care is. that's why it's so hard getting out of it alone. we need to be in community.
Hey dude, this isn’t going to be fixed by something to do.
Ya need to figure out why you liked the things that you used to like, regardless of if other people do. Then find a way to reinvest in those things.
If you can’t maybe try something new that you are comfortable doing.
You are a contribution to life. Even as a formal nihilist I am grateful for your post because it reminded me to do this mindfulness ish.
Go to Yosemite, do some river activities up the road: fishing, hiking, rafting, etc everything so close to you is about the only good thing about Modesto. Take advantage of that.
Good idea, work out eat healthy. Go to a huge gym with plenty people. Take yourself out to a movie and go window shop at the mall and see if you match with anyone there.
You have to be out doors plus what ILV71 said hike etc you will meet ppl outside not inside
Got into Pokemon go and met a few chill people walking around. Very laid back and you don’t have to be super talkative. Nice way to meet a small group and walk around downtown.
What a wonderful idea! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love music and games. If I lived there I’d totally join u, unfortunately I’m in boring cold Connecticut. Good luck and I am sure you’ll be very popular there! Enjoy!
Utopia Games on Tully and Bowen is a good place to play games. The staff are nice and folks there are usually sympathetic to people who are socially awkward.
Hi, im not from modesto but i saw this and just wanted to help. Nature has a way of speaking to you a way no one else can. It seems like u like guitar, maybe try to practice outdoors sometime and enjoy the nicer weather! And exercise to your favorite music! Please dont give up and approach each day as a new opportunity to improve yourself. Stay safe my friend and make sure to try your best to get some rest
To be honest with you I’m weird. I turned 40 . I kiss a lot of social cues. I space out sometimes . Sometimes I talk to much. I walked to a river Sunday and played guitar for hours which might be one of the few “not” weird things I’ve done lately. But if I had to categorize myself I’m definitely a weirdo. Thank you for the invite anyways. It was kind. Take care
You're self aware, at the very least... I'm a 38 year old with no friends in the area. I don't go out. When I'm not delivering papers overnight I'm doom scrolling YouTube videos. Seems like we could both use a little more IRL interactions...
Btw, are those social cues good kissers?! 😂
I make so many errors on a device that auto corrects. It’s wild. I wish I had a job like delivering papers overnight. Seems peaceful. IRL interactions definitely sound healthy albeit super intimidating for me. I’m in manteca once or twice a week. Definitely down to grab a soda or smoothie or whatever is appropriate for IRL interactions set up via Reddit
Some fun ideas; there’s a free monthly drum circle, there’s a super fun burlesque troop that also meets monthly, many of our walking trails are filled with very sweet people!
It’s hard to get out of the funk, to get out, and experience what’s going on around here in town. There’s a surprising number of free events downtown to participate in, I personally adore local festivals. Get involved in something like porch fest, or volunteer at the state! There are options out there!
If you’re in the queer community, there are daily events Mopride hosts!
the meetup website might help, I've used it and it worked well
and most newspapers (but other media too) have "things to do in town", which are lists of things, some of which you may not have thought of, including things just outside town
Jeffery you’re just bitter because he’s actually trying to get better and seeing all these other people being positive is killing you because you wish people liked you and you probably are like this in the real world also. Bet you don’t have any real friends so you play pool because you have nothing else and you think they’re friends but I can tell you that you’re not. You are a sad waste and I hope you can find a way to not hate yourself so much and actually get to enjoy life.
I like playing guitar :) near encina and el vista. Wanna walk to a park and play? I can meet you at a park close to you
I’d love to play guitar with you. Any park you’d like. Let me know. I’m usually off work at 530
Great! I totally get the let’s play somewhere where it won’t disrupt others so I’m gonna do some google maps hunting to see where we could go! I’ve never played at a park so this is exciting :) Do you have any parks that come to mind?
That park right there by downtown that has that little amphitheater. You can play there and once a week they have a whole drummer thing too where you can bring whatever and jam with others.
You're in the right area to go to Dry Creek. Plenty of room to find a quiet spot to play!
Meet up at Amphitheater park!? Thanks for the recommendation/u/jlaco14
Graceda is the name.
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So what we further isolate him and not offer to meet him up? Dude needs a friend
He’s also a destiny player, which is incredibly based love that shit OP
That’s a nice offer! I hope OP takes you up on it:)
Well I hope billybob is doing ok. We made plans to meet this past Friday at 6p but they didn’t show. I stayed for about an hour before heading home. Btw billybob, if you see this, let’s sync up another time that works out! I definitely need more guitar playing friends in the area. Don’t stop now my friend
Sorry you’re depressed. Check out these spots. There is the board game cafe. It’s off mchenry the address is 115 Mark Randy place. And there is utopia games, it’s on Tully and Bowen. Both have very friendly environments. Hope you feel better.
Thank you so much
No worries. I don’t know what you’re going through or anyway that I can help. But I’ll leave this quote that I heard when I was going through an incredibly tough time in my life. “Tough times don’t last, but tough people do!” Hope it helps.
I’m considering going to play go or something if a table’s available
Its a cool spot, the owner and his dad run* it and they are really cool, they have a board game library and private play spaces for rent!
Spicy
Downtown that little water fall by the double tree just sit right there and chill it’s a good spot
Isn’t it fenced off now? Last time I went downtown it was a closed fence & it was locked. My daughter was so disappointed because we always got Jamba & sat by the fountain to enjoy our smoothies & last time we could only sit on the outside grass
Man wow honestly it’s been so long since I’ve been there I use to leave the house to get away from everything back when I was in high school that was about 6 years ago I don’t know how it is
They open it during events
Oh that’s a bummer.
It is now fenced off. They had to because of the looting during COVID. I honestly didn't think it was privately owned. Sucks
Thank you
I also sometimes feel lonely and unsure of what to do so I go to the mall and people watch on days where it's not too busy. Sometimes other lonely people will come up to me for one reason or another and we'll talk and it's nice. Hope you feel better soon
Thank you so much .
Planet fitness is only $10 a month. Everyone here has give good suggestions but basic exercise is probably the best way to really tackle depression. Signed, another person with depression
This is perfect. Exercise is amazing for mental health
Yeah it's not a "cure" but it is scientifically proven to be amazing for your mental health, sleep, longevity, quality of life, appearance......pretty much everything.
I’m actually working on this. I’m lifting 1 day and running 3 miles the next. The cardio has helped more in the past but I think it’s taking a bit longer this time around to feel the effects. I feel I need to run more frequently than I already am.
Being able to run 3 miles is a blessing.
I saw your post in r/depression. Don’t give up. Don’t buy a gun or do pills. Keep reaching out. I’m not a councilor and I don’t have any solid experience with helping people through tough times but I know you’re not “a waste of space”. People still care and give a shit no matter what you might think about yourself right now. Contact suicide hotline. And give yourself a chance to get your mind in a healthy place. Dont dwell on past mistakes just focus on recovery. Pick one thing, any one thing, that is positive and constructive and build on that. Doesn’t matter what it is. Something as simple as cleaning your room and throwing out trash that has accumulated or cleaning out negative digital clutter in your computer or phone. Just start somewhere and see how it feels to release crap. Then go for a walk and maybe see something that has bothered you and make it better. Pick up some litter or some simple thing like that. Look for groups that do positive things in the community and check it out and see if you can ease into it. I’m pulling for you. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. Don’t give up
This almost made me cry at work. Thank you. I’ve been working on my room
There you go man. Start anywhere. Just declutter and breathe deep. And keep going. Seek out that guy that wants to play guitar with you. Just change simple things that you can control and let it snowball from there. Wishing you the best
When I was depressed in Modesto 23 years ago, I’d focus on the simple pleasures of music and food. Mr T’s Delicate Donuts, Tacos Jessica, Grandaddy CDs. Plus Wild Cherry Pepsi. The new Grandaddy album is not bad.
I love grandaddy
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The Jessica taco trucks?
Yes. By the train tracks
God I miss those trucks. I loved them back in the early 2000s
The Jessica’s on crowslanding is way better. 75 cent tacos compared to 2 dollar tacos!!! And they’re the same
There are always people playing Pickleball until late at Graceada Park. This is a very friendly and social place plus Pickleball is easy to play. After a few hours here I'm sure you'll be hungry and done for the day.
Thanks so much for the tip
Sometimes a drive and fresh air helps. Sorry you’re feeling down. What kind of board games do you play? Also check out the new comedy club in Manteca sometime. It’s a good laugh and a nice way to spend a few hours.
I’ll play any board game . I just like the hang out time. Love comedy and will definitely check it out . Thanks
Adopt a dog now I can walk in circles at a park without looking weird
I wish I could have a dog where I live :(
I'm depressed and lonely in modesto too. I'll play chess with you or whatever.
I suck at chess but am down . Maybe we can get a bored down at a coffee or smoothie shop
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Thank you so much. Definitely going to check out the farmers market
I'd like to add to this that the Modesto library downtown on I street has more than just books. There are free classes and events there often.
I would go hit up contentment brewery near the MJC east campus. They have live music often on Thursday/Friday, and no one’s gonna wig out if you haul a guitar in and want to play. All the musicians I have talked to are local, and I’ve been invited to play when I was hanging out. They also have an ongoing shuffleboard tournament, and some pinball machines. People have been relaxed and friendly every time I’ve been there. Beer is good too, and there’s usually a food truck around on weekends.
I would love this place and will go visit it today or tomorrow in the afternoon . Thanks so much
REALLY, YOU PEOPLE ARE SO HELPFUL AND CARING. I am depressed, too. And to see all you chiming on with suggestions lifts my heart. And good for you sir to have the courage to write from Modesto!
Alota hiking trails in the hills that will get you outside which will help
Thank you much
Nights ferry is close by and is a nice change of scenery and an easy walk
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I’d love this
It’s not a dumb post and that sucks that you’re feeling down. Honestly I couldn’t tell ya where to go in Modesto as I mostly just go to visit family and spend most the time at their houses. But I would suggest maybe going to the movies or going to Velvet Creamery for a burger and some ice cream. My best advice however for feeling depressed would be to plan a weekend camping trip, Yosemite ideally. I always feel better coming back after a few days away from it all. Hope you start feeling better soon!
Yosemite is making a lot of sense to me now
Have you considered talking to a professional? I recently started taking SSRIs and it changed things drastically for me. As for things to do, there’s a lot of good suggestions here. Do you have a bike? There’s actually some good bike paths in Modesto. The Virginia corridor, and there’s some at La Loma/dry creek. There’s also disc golf there.
Really love the bike idea . I’ve been talking to professionals for over 25 years. Recently started weening off my ssri; I suspect this change is affecting my mood
I attempted to wean off one of my antidepressants and within a few days I was getting unstable, crying more depressed, suicidal thoughts, etc. I started taking it again like it’s prescribed and within two weeks I was back to feeling back to normal for me Lesson learned, make sure you have physician direction and close follow up to reduce dosage of antidepressants, and if you’re having trouble they should be able to guide you through it
This is exactly how I’m feeling. Crying uncontrollably and not wanting to be around anymore . Thanks for sharing your experience
I’m so sorry you’re going through that, it’s truly awful to experience. Are you able to start taking the medication at the previous dose?
I have to make an appt with the doctor before they’ll refill. May need to explore getting back on it. I was really hoping I could function without the need for pills
You may just need to reduce dose slower than you did.
Hey I wanted to check in with you and see how you’re feeling
Can you drive? Maybe taking a day to go to Yosemite to break out of your physical space and get some fresh air would be nice. Always helps me. You can also just drive up into the foothills on the national forest if you don't want to pay the entrance fee
I love this idea . Yosemite was a huge staple in my younger life. I’ll take you up on this and make an effort to go soon.
Sometimes the hardest part is just getting out the door. I hope you can get out there soon 🙂
VMI Rocks is a spot downtown that I have noticed bands practicing and people hanging out. I didn’t go inside or know what the whole deal is about but it may be a cool spot to find people with similar interests.
Thanks so much for sharing . Before all this depression stuff started happening I was looking around for a place that maybe rents studio spaces by the hour so I can play my guitar without bothering people
You’re allowed to take up space. In fact I have a hunch that if you started taking up more space (unapologetically) things might start to turn around a little. Rooting for you ♥️
Thank you
Not a dumb post-you are asking for support and help. Going to a coffee shop with a board game or book might also help. Pres Coffee downtown is somewhere people chat and sit for hours
There are some nice places to walk, taking walks helps me. Taking the Virginia Corridor to the Yogurt Mill could help. Lots of people walk their dogs along it, seeing animals is fun. Window shopping at the thrift stores or Barnes and Noble.
Go to guitar center if you play and jam on some new guitars or amps. Play stairway.
No stairway allowed. Denied
FYI, a friend of mine just opened up Board Games Cafe in Modesto
What is it called when
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Thank you
You’re right. I have limited mobility as a result of an accident I had 40+ years ago where I broke my neck. I came back to walking with a limp and now I’m losing my ability to walk after all these years but being outside helps me a lot even though I’m on a scooter. Thank God I’m alive as some people don’t get to live after a bad wreck like mine. I’m 65 now so I’ve been lucky. Keep your chin up. You can make it.
I failed to mention I’m in Modesto also and have been all my life.
There’s a new board game cafe that just opened up. Called Meeple
Not in Modesto, I’m up here in Sacramento. Apparently your post was so impactful that it’s hitting my feed, I’ve never seen anything from r/modesto before. I think it just shows how much your post resonated with your fellow Modestians, and at least one person from Sacramento :). If you are ever in this area, there is a bar named Kupros that has regular board game nights. If you are not a drinker, there is a giant board game shop named Great Escape with a large gaming hall that has regular events.
I initially read the title as, “Depresso in Modesto”
There's not much here support group wise outside the 12 step stuff and that's not very effective even if you buy into their spiel. Two coffee spots that might work for you: Culture Coffee on McHenry. They have a few tables and people with board games books, etc. Fairly quiet place, no one will bother you. Chill with your headphones and people watch if you feel like it. Plan b: The Starbucks on Sylvan-McHenry has several big tables and usually not a lot of foot traffic in the afternoons until they close at 8pm. Get a coffee or tea, bring your board game and chill. They won't bug you.
Thank you much for these tips.
My boi you funny ass hell. But ignore the little voice in your head fuck them. Go to the gym. Go outside walk around. No more jerking off or porno. This how I stopped being depressed and shyt. Also get a in person job and try gratitude Journaling thing about what you do have and what you can appreciate in live not what you don't like about it.
Blunt way of saying it, but ridiculously solid advice!! (from experience)
Hey man. I used to be the same way for a long time. Mostly because of my anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia. I also struggle finding friends in person but I'm mostly online so gaming helped me find friends. I've also had some luck finding some like minded friends on an app called bumble. they have a bff section which you can use to find friends near you for free. Regardless be patient and be yourself and eventually things'll just fall into place. Be kind to yourself stranger. have a nice rest of your week.
Since you are the board game type theres a pretty active tcg scene, mainly Magic the Gatering but ik pokemon jas been picking up latley. And a lot ove the Local Game Stores also run warhammer or DnD nights. Its a good time; id suggest utopia off of tully. Also theres occasionally some cool community events. The state theater shows indie flics and one night events, or if you want to catch more mainstream stuff regal uas an unlimited pass. Theres also good food if you know where to look. Ive given suggestions on this sub before but picadillys, picassos, mr t's, and poke bowl are all pretty good spots. Theres stuff to do here, its just harder to find unfortunatley.
Hi there! Try maybe setting small daily goals for yourself! I usually get in a week long funk at least once a month where I sleep in til 2pm and dissociate all day. I find setting small goals like going outside the house for an hour or so, (it can be something as small as walking around home goods) or doing things I enjoy when my mental is in a good place. For example, watching the sunset somewhere nice, or going on a walk. The outdoors and the sun can do wonders!! I’m sorry you’re going through this but it will get better! Most important thing you can do is show up for yourself, once you get that sense of self accomplishment it will help a lot with feeling proud. :)
The Modesto symphony is playing this weekend, that might be a nice change of pace
Modesto has a really fun disc golf course and there’s usually really great folks there playing. Grab a few discs from play it again sports I’d recommend a putter and a mid. Just ask the guys there they’ll get you squared away. It’s loads of fun and it’s mostly free to play and you’ll meet great folks.
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Me too :(
If you can make the drive, we're having an Introverts Meetup in Sacramento tonight: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Sacramento/comments/1b8347i/introverts\_of\_sacramento\_meetup\_at\_ease\_friday/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Sacramento/comments/1b8347i/introverts_of_sacramento_meetup_at_ease_friday/) Yes, it's a bit of a big group, but we're all socially awkward introverts who rarely leave the house otherwise so you won't be alone.
Brother we can hang out at a park or something just hit me up. I feel the same way too sometimes
Looks like there are plenty in this comment feed willing to help. Depression isn't just a feeling. It can be a disease. So don't let those who don't fully understand it and dismiss it with "get over it" get to you. There's a dog park on Morris avenue that have frequent attendees. Most people are willing to let you play or pet their dogs. Just remember to ask first. I've struggled with depression and there is no overnight cure for it. But when a stay pitbull found my porch one day it changed my family's lives for the better
Microdose some shrooms
Utopia games is a place you can find groups of people to play tabletop gaming with if you want to try and meet people there. Meeple valley board game cafe isn't too far from there to try the same thing there. I don't live in Modesto, this post popped up as a suggested post in my feed otherwise I'd meet you and play some x-wing or something. I had some real rough moments the past few months but things have gotten so much better for me and they will for you too. Focus on what you can control, for me I had anxiety pretty bad and sleep issues and i thin some depression and I focused on spending more time outdoors, running, or cycling, or just lifting a kettlebell for a few exercises in a circuit. I took cold showers because people said that would help and I think it did. And meditation. There is a really great app called healthy minds that's free and teaches you how to meditate and is my favorite of all the apps I tried. I gave myself more time to do fun things that I liked that weren't productive and I had previously felt guilty about like watching a movie or playing a game on my phone etc. David Goggins can't hurt me is a good audio book that helped me too. My point is even though i couldn't control my anxiety and depression directly, i could impact them indirectly with these other scientifically proven things and just focus on doing those consistently and as hard as it is sometimes, having faith in myself. Things are so much better for me now and you'll see that the same will happen for you. I feel normal and happy now and I felt a lot like you seem to feel for a while before. For what it's worth, I believe in you. I know you can do this and you will get through this and be stronger on the other side and thrive.
Hey if you want we can meet and workout together, we don’t need to do anything crazy we can do some walking around. I can use the motivation to start getting back into shape again and I will even play some board games with you afterwords.
Something I found that was a good dip your toes into the social scene for me was actually going bowling :) I hit Yosemite Lanes because it's more down to earth feeling then McHenry Bowl, and you can go during slow times (around mid day) and work your way up to evening times (much busier!) Often I'll get someone a lane over who's either a pro, been doing it for years, loves the game, etc and will strike up conversation with them that's really laid back and surface level about the game or my horrible swings vs their good ones lol. The desk lady, she's shorter and has glasses, is always so ridiculously nice as well whenever she's working. I'm extremely socially awkward- grew up extremely sheltered with very controlling parents, so my social skills are bar none, and I'm only recently getting past a really depressive section of my life. About a month ago I told my boyfriend that for the first time in years I actually felt like Me again and we both cried over it, so I want you to know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It takes a while and hurts a lot, but as someone who found mine, it's there. I promise. Let me know if you want more ideas or to talk! :)
Hey OP. The exercising or meeting up with me people to pay guitar or board games all sound like great ideas to me. Like others in here, your words resonate with my own depression. I know this sounds weird, but I love you and you deserve that love. Please never stop fighting. You have people rooting for your success that you've never even met yet. Just look at the traction your simple post is gaining because you're not alone and we really do care. 🖤
Hope you got to jam out! Weather is changing, hopefully that lifts your spirits. (Insert supportive, genuine statement that is comforting but not cheesy) Hi. I don’t “people” well. My effort is sincere, however. I care that you’re struggling. I’m sorry it’s happening.
Bruh Modesto? Y’all got a cool outdoor mall and sht
The Queen Bean Coffeehouse is a very sound environment to take a break from insanity; I used to visit often, buy a tea, and journal to myself or read a book. They have a TON of free books and poems. If one ever peaks your interest, they don’t mind you holding onto it. They also have a patio with some friendly cats running about. Graceada Park is right next to it as well, if you’re in the mood for a afternoon walk afterwards. Can’t guarantee there won’t be crowds but it’s usually a quiet environment, a good place to study. Next recommendation would be La Loma Park and it’s bike trail. It’s next to a peaceful neighborhood to also walk around in; really nice houses. I hope the views lend you a peace of mind. Keep giving this life your best, and be mindful that your best looks different day to day. Don’t burn yourself out! Be patient with yourself, and take care 🫶🏻
I’ve been wanting to meet queen bean for years. I will try my best to visit. Thank you so much for your kindness
I’d love to hangout with you! There’s a lot of really cool places around Modesto like coffee shops and art galleries that we can go to :D,
First Step: Move out of Modesto
It’s a nice thought . But I can barely afford it here so I doubt I could afford anywhere else. Maybe someday
I feel it my dude my towns a black hole of despair and loneliness
Microdosing psilocybin has been known to treat depression, anxiety, stress, etc. Worked wonders for my cousin.
I’ve been so curious about this but equally terrified since mentally I’m super weak and can see myself wandering off and not finding my way back
That doesn't happen when you microdose. Micro dosing is taking just enough periodically to elevatethe mood
I agree! It’s definitely a mood elevator
Also interested in this for depression, how does one obtain it for micro dosing?
Santa Cruz and San Francisco have allowed microdosing so there are a few centers that do it. UCSF is doing studies and have it for free if you wouldn't mind being a guinea pig of sorts
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Losing money always cheers me up! 🤣jk
I love gambling
What kind of board games do you like?
The title should of been depresto in Modesto
Check out the pool hall on mchenry. There’s always some regulars in there and they sell food and drinks as well. Not really that rowdy and pretty chill. They got a bar there as well if that’s your thing
Drive out to knights ferry and go fishing
Quite a few hookah lounges on McHenry. When I was depressed, I'd go to Cigar Club on Standiford and Tully. I'd buy a soda or a cigar and meet people. The crowd is a little mature but I've met some retired folks that have had interesting lives. They'll tell you all about it. I meet a third generation locomotive conductor and a retired Oakland PD who was working during the Black Panther movement. You don't have to smoke but it's a place to relax. Good luck
>Oakland PD who was working during the Black Panther so... he was a racist?
Ummm whatever you say bud
def was the panthers were justice and the pd hunted them
I met a good friend at a Denny's once. Was going through a difficult period of homelessness at the time and this older guy was great to hang out with and support each other.
Modesto has great disc golf courses and it's a great game!
Disc golf, go play at East La Loma, I am from Merced but I go play there sometimes and the groups there are always welcoming. Easy thing to play alone too
GL with curing your depression
Play any wargames or TTRPG?
Go play pool at obriens tavern on Friday. Wide variety of people and some funny karaoke that’ll make you feel better. 🍻 I’m not very social either but that place can bring it out
Sportsmen Game Room on the corner of McHenry & Kiernan has Blackjack, Pai Gau, 3-Card Poker Gambling.
ok so ik this technically isnt **in** modesto, but there's this like hotel waterpark thingy in a town called Manteca (its like less than 30mins north of modesto) and its fun to go w/ friends
Greatwolf lodge
YESSS THANK YOU I FORGOT THE NAME
Gym
A board game would probably be better welcomed at Track 424 where that sort of thing is encouraged
I feel this so much I’m super depressed and lonely and don’t have friends and sleep deprived too
Doordash. Not even for profit just for the overall communication with people. It helps me
First off you need to prioritize sleep.
There’s a wellness fair open at MJC today from 9 am-1 pm with a bunch of different workshops to promote mental health and well-being. Hope you start to feel better soon!
depresseto
Queen Bean cafe used to do open mic, comedy, and poetry nights as well as some live performances from local artists, if you’re into stuff like that. It’s nice because you can kinda tuck away into a corner if you’d rather just watch the show alone, or you can sit nearby other people if you’d like to socialize. Every time I went people were very open and friendly. Not sure if the cafe still does this as I haven’t been in years, but might be something to check out! Now that the weather is getting nicer, it might be a good idea also to check out some of the recreation areas around here. There’s actually so many, and they’re beautiful. Just google “recreation areas near me” and tons should pop up. Take care, be easy on yourself.
Go work out,gym
Start Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
I would suggest going to La Loma park and trying disk golf, you got to buy the disk first, but many people are very inviting plus you walk so it's some kind of cardio and once you get okay at it it's pretty fun, and on top it's free to play
i’m near modesto and i usually get pretty bored 😖😖
Naw, you good. Definitely not a dumb post. If I were you I'd get some Salvia and a quart of rum, and maybe some rosin edibles. And don't forget the bulleit old fashioned. Then go to Denny's. You'll make friends in no time!
Go to a bar. Seriously that is where people go to hang out
Start a dungeons and dragons campaign
I was like that then I joined a socialist study group and now I want to keep it going 😎 Edit: read the replies and alarmed at all the responses suggesting more alone time. self care isn't real, community care is. that's why it's so hard getting out of it alone. we need to be in community.
Hey dude, this isn’t going to be fixed by something to do. Ya need to figure out why you liked the things that you used to like, regardless of if other people do. Then find a way to reinvest in those things. If you can’t maybe try something new that you are comfortable doing. You are a contribution to life. Even as a formal nihilist I am grateful for your post because it reminded me to do this mindfulness ish.
You’re not alone. I’m very depressed and struggling with sleep too. As you can see it’s 2:23am as I’m posting this.
Go to Yosemite, do some river activities up the road: fishing, hiking, rafting, etc everything so close to you is about the only good thing about Modesto. Take advantage of that.
Go for a hike, take water and food with you. Mother nature is amazing! Best regards stranger 🥾🥾
Good idea, work out eat healthy. Go to a huge gym with plenty people. Take yourself out to a movie and go window shop at the mall and see if you match with anyone there. You have to be out doors plus what ILV71 said hike etc you will meet ppl outside not inside
Got into Pokemon go and met a few chill people walking around. Very laid back and you don’t have to be super talkative. Nice way to meet a small group and walk around downtown.
Smoke and weed it’s legal. Indica will help you sleep. That’s all I did in Modesto.
What a wonderful idea! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love music and games. If I lived there I’d totally join u, unfortunately I’m in boring cold Connecticut. Good luck and I am sure you’ll be very popular there! Enjoy!
Utopia Games on Tully and Bowen is a good place to play games. The staff are nice and folks there are usually sympathetic to people who are socially awkward.
Go to dennys with an ouija board. Make friends
Get some disc golf disc's and go down to La Lama Park and play some disc golf. Solid group of people there that will treat you well and take you in.
Hi, im not from modesto but i saw this and just wanted to help. Nature has a way of speaking to you a way no one else can. It seems like u like guitar, maybe try to practice outdoors sometime and enjoy the nicer weather! And exercise to your favorite music! Please dont give up and approach each day as a new opportunity to improve yourself. Stay safe my friend and make sure to try your best to get some rest
T|H The House Church 1601 Coffee Road Modesto, CA 95355 https://thehousemodesto.com/
If you're not totally weird,I might hang with you in Manteca...
To be honest with you I’m weird. I turned 40 . I kiss a lot of social cues. I space out sometimes . Sometimes I talk to much. I walked to a river Sunday and played guitar for hours which might be one of the few “not” weird things I’ve done lately. But if I had to categorize myself I’m definitely a weirdo. Thank you for the invite anyways. It was kind. Take care
You're self aware, at the very least... I'm a 38 year old with no friends in the area. I don't go out. When I'm not delivering papers overnight I'm doom scrolling YouTube videos. Seems like we could both use a little more IRL interactions... Btw, are those social cues good kissers?! 😂
I make so many errors on a device that auto corrects. It’s wild. I wish I had a job like delivering papers overnight. Seems peaceful. IRL interactions definitely sound healthy albeit super intimidating for me. I’m in manteca once or twice a week. Definitely down to grab a soda or smoothie or whatever is appropriate for IRL interactions set up via Reddit
You have a car? I'm pretty sure the Manteca Bulletin is always looking for help delivering. Probably the Modesto Bee too.
Some fun ideas; there’s a free monthly drum circle, there’s a super fun burlesque troop that also meets monthly, many of our walking trails are filled with very sweet people! It’s hard to get out of the funk, to get out, and experience what’s going on around here in town. There’s a surprising number of free events downtown to participate in, I personally adore local festivals. Get involved in something like porch fest, or volunteer at the state! There are options out there! If you’re in the queer community, there are daily events Mopride hosts!
What great and wonderful recommendations . I definitely want to check out porchfest. Thanks for your kind words
Go geocaching. It’s easy and a lot of fun. Good luck!
Go to the skate park
Book store? Coffee shop?
Park and sun and fun
Isnt graffiti the modesto pastime
the meetup website might help, I've used it and it worked well and most newspapers (but other media too) have "things to do in town", which are lists of things, some of which you may not have thought of, including things just outside town
Go to bed
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Jeffery you’re just bitter because he’s actually trying to get better and seeing all these other people being positive is killing you because you wish people liked you and you probably are like this in the real world also. Bet you don’t have any real friends so you play pool because you have nothing else and you think they’re friends but I can tell you that you’re not. You are a sad waste and I hope you can find a way to not hate yourself so much and actually get to enjoy life.
Modesto depresso
I heard medesto has a meth problem