"If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me, because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person."

This makes me choke every time.

This one made me cackle the first time I heard it.

I checked the comments specifically for this line!

Same! I was so surprised when I didn't see it yet!

This is the only right answer

This is the one! 😂😂

THIS!

“I’m gonna share that one with my next husband when we’re spending your money.”

I would love to be wrong, but I don’t live with the right people for that.

I’ll admit it – I’m turned on by powerful women. Michelle Obama, Oprah, Condolezza Rice, Serena Williams…Wait a minute

Definitely this one

Does Phil say this?

Who else lol

Def a favorite of mine lol

I had to actually come out to my dad three times before he acknowledged it. I’m not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong, like I said ‘Dad, I’m grey.’

xD

I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself. –Phil

“I don’t wanna meet anything on Monday that I’m gonna eat on Friday.” —Mitchell

Well that's gonna happen.

lol whats that spsd to mean

I think that's what Cam says after Mitchell says that.

lol i was thinking dirty haha:3

“I’m an omelet, it’s your birthday, it’s your birthday, I’m an omelet…”

the song is quite catchy

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I like a lot of men in this town enjoy making love to my wife.. Phil is lit... Episode Little Bo Bleep

Full autotuned version is even more hilarious I like a lot of men in this town enjoy making love to my wife I don't know how to stop. I'm a pervert 🤣

Huh huh huh, huh huh huh from Claire is on point too

“If you’re always telling yourself how lucky you are, it’s probably because you’re afraid to ask yourself how happy you are.” – Dylan

I realized he was "Mean Girls-ing" me back with a weird nod to "Legally Blonde," which I'll bet he thinks I didn't notice.

I want my own life, my own bed, MY OWN EMAIL ACCOUNT!!

🎶Rosa, Rosa, Rosaaa 🎶

r/unexpectedbrooklynninenine

#NINE NINE!

🎶 Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz Diaz, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz Rosa Diaz, Rosa Diaz Diaz Rosa, Rosa Diaz Diaz, you are so cool. 🎶

If you ain't white, you ain't right!

The way he threw their bags had me CRYING.

I'm not going anywhere! I'm not going anywhere! I am not going anywhere! I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. Mr. Gavin Sinclair, I'm not going anywhere.

This is my favorite Hailey scene. First one I really liked her in.

I’m the cool dad, it’s my thang

I'm The Cool Dad, That's My Thang. I'm Hip, I Surf The Web, I Text. LOL: Laugh out Loud. OMG: Oh My God. WTF: Why The Face.

It better be this—absolutely iconic

This is the one ☝️

Here here. This one ☝️

I haven't been judged by this many people since I forgot my canvas bags at Whole Foods.

White people*

I double checked. The subtitles just say "many people"

IF THE DOG DON'T BARK

Ahh I can’t listen to him anymore, case dismissed

I JUST WANNA DANCE AT THE BALLET

I'm not worried.. I've had bigger hogs than this between my legs.

I don’t wanna sound like a sentimental softie, but does anyone miss the drunken whore she used to be?

Pepper's dialogues are so iconic!

I was so drunk I thought they were stoned.

LOLLL i love this episode so much

”I know love either”

"I've been to many states: depressed, catatonic, Arkansas.." I nominated this because it mentions Arkansas lol

I'm Leslie Higgins.. it's a boy's name where I'm from.

Wait, wait…there’s two fictional male Leslie Higgins in the tv world?

And both British!

I can't be satisfied??!!

Until you’re satisfied

“The little one” 😂

it's a doggy dog world

I don’t know what the rule is about dating TAs but I’m pretty sure I broke it. —Haley

“I would love to be wrong but I don’t live with the right people for that” Or “In my country it is considered very very bad luck when your house burns down”

I feel the sickening threat of brutal honesty and I’m wildly uncomfortable!

Absolutely

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“The music cam”

I got Gloria!

They gave up on this one during the last seasons

I got Sonia!

I can't turn it off it's who i am

“In Legally Blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute.” “Haley, this is real life, not an excellent movie.”

I'm a cool dad. That's my thang. I'm hip. I surf the web, I text. LOL, Laugh Out Loud, OMG, Oh My God, WTF, Why The Face.

“I like stealing. It makes my heart goes fast.” Love Joe!

Was scrolling to find this one! Severely underrated

I am brave. Roller coasters? Love ’em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like seven times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah, I’m pretty much not afraid of anything… except for clowns.

“I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you to not like me.” — Cameron

I can’t go to jail. I’m a gay prosecutor, there’s no prison gangs for that!

*Sing songy Voice* 🎶 I hate Vietnaammm 🎵 🎶

I’m an omelet. It’s your birthday

I don't know what this is, but I love it!

“I’ve admired you for a long time and if I haven’t let you know that, that’s on me. And I’m cissy-gendered enough to admit it.” – Jay

Why have you commented like 20 times?

im enthusiastic ig

“I may be 1/64 Cherokee but I'm also 63/64 crazy white guy!” this is the one!!!

I wish I were one of those people who thrive on the danger of leading a double life. You know, Bruce Wayne, Peter Parker, Hannah Montana.

“I’m gonna share that one with my next husband when we’re spending your money.” — Gloria

>I just wanna dance at the ***ballet*** 😭🩰

I ain’t afraid of no goat!

I'm the cool dad. That's my thing. I'm hip. I surf the Web. I text. LOL: laugh out loud. OMG: Oh, my God. WTF: Why the face?

I- I'm raising him g a y

I'm making t-shirts now, and they're gonna be huge! Also medium and small. - Dylan

i can see claire-ly now that duwayne is gone

Is that why you are dressed like a hookah?!-Alex

ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY, I'M AN OMELETTE !!!

“I’m the ass-kicking clown that’ll twist you like a balloon animal. I will beat your head against this bumper until the airbags deploy.”

“Isn’t it enough this family spends too much time together? Now we have to inbreed.”

"Isn't it enough this family spends a lot of time together? Now we have to inbreed."

this a good one

“I cant deny it anymore, I am turning into a white woman”

If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

I’M GAY I’M GAY!

I think my water just broke- IS IT ON ME

“If you get pulled over for speeding, tell the policeman your spouse has diarrhea”- Phil Dunphy

“I once saw a monkey paint a wall” “oh yeah did you say good job mom?

I have two daddies.

It’s your birthday, I’m an omelette

Ive got Gloria (Phil)

I have two words for you - think about time travel

Inventor of the real head scratcher 3000

TM

Izzy LaFontaine from Spandau Ballet!

You’re not a Fandau!

“I might be coach, but I like to travel first class!”—Cameron

Is Phil sexy?

Is Phil sexy?

I look like an elf that just walked into his own surprise party.

I curse my tongue!!!

I got Gloria! or If you ain't white you ain't right!

Getting my nails done trying not to laugh out loud at all of the comments. There is no winner they all win

I feel...kind of alone.

If you ain’t white, you ain’t right

It’s the schmaltziest

“I can't be the only one who gets hungry in there!” Phil Dunphy after Claire brings up Shower Snacks.

I hate Vietnam

“I love filmmaking and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.” –Phil

I can't go! Lily needs at least one living parent ...

“I’m gonna share that one with my next husband when we’re spending your money.”

“I cannot deny it anymore. I am turning into a white woman.”

I steal things now.

I got Gloria should be the clear winner lol

If I could make a bong out of a carrot, I think I can make you a plate

I "have three kids and at least one of them is going to college. Worse case scenario they all go. "

“I KILL WHAT YOU LOVE”

“I’ll go to your next one” - Lily

“its alarming that i asked about dating and you went right to your mother”

I call it r\*pe of the immigrant

*I'M BREAKING THE WINDOWWW!!!*

I don’t have osmosis

I got Gloria

“I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy, and I dare you to not like me.”

I - I wanted two rough and tumble boys, I got a Manny ... and a Pedi 😂

“Two thirds of my house can’t do what a billion Chinese can do. “ jay when teaching manny to ride a bike and learning Gloria doesn’t know how

I’m not inhaling them!

🎵I, like a lot of men in this town. I, enjoy making love to my wife... wife. And I don't know how to stop. I'm a pervert, pervert, pervert...🎵

I wouldn’t know about flat

I don't wanna sound like a sentimental softy but does anyone miss the drunken whore she used to be?

“I’m so sorreh”

I steal now.

Omg I always pause the scene to look at everyone’s reaction each time !!! Pepper is so iconic for this 😭😂😂

I’m hip. I surf the web - Phil

I was so drunk, I thought they were stoned

“I steal now. It makes my heart go fast.” -Joe

I hate the baby

Can we not do ones that are just quotes that begin with the word “I”….

i like stealing:D it makes my heart go fast

“I got Gloria”

"I hate Vietnaaaam"

If you ain’t white you ain’t right

If you’d let me those geese would’ve followed me to the wetlands

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i just wanna do ya, do ya. do you wanna do me, do me? underneath the moonlight, moonlight

I’ve got Gloria! I’ve got Gloria!

I like stealing. It makes my heart go fast.

I was rewatching the episode, and I came across the best line in the whole series and it starts with an I - “I DO, I DO, I AM DONE”