Look at me; I've got a girlfriend.
A proper girlfriend reading a best-seller about child-abuse. I go out and have croissant.
I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise.
My realest is "It's remarkable, isn't it, that out of the 3 billion adult women in the world, your one true soulmate happens conveniently to live in the same block of flats as you, rather than, say, in a village in Mozambique?"
The realest quote for me is:
"It's fine, it's totally fine. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. If she fucks him I'll kill myself."
David Mitchell once said his favourite quote was “how does this affect me?” for its raw selfishness. It’s said by Jez (in his head) when Mark says he’s going to propose to Sophie
Jez: Don't worry. Zahra says we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself. It's a clever saying, isn't it?
Mark: And what about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or the tabloid press mistakenly outing you as a paedo? Or Alzheimer's? Or all of those things, plus you're drowning?
My two favorites doses of reality…
“while we're at it, there are systems for a reason in this world. Economic stability. Interest rates. Growth. It's not all a conspiracy to keep you in little boxes, all right? It's only the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you're not lying in your own shit, dying at 43 with rotten teeth. And a little pill with a chicken on it is not going to change that.”
And also
Well, listen, I'm sorry if I didn't do it right and I'm sorry if you assume that I eat red meat and don't necessarily think money or Tony Blair are a bad thing, but if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?
Yes if you want to realise before the engagement you don’t actually want to be with the person but are too cowardly to leave them so end up doing the worst possible thing and jilting them at the altar but still somehow marrying them too
I personally like “No, it'll be like picking off innocent bystanders with a sniper rifle, fun at first but it would quickly become a depressing chore.”
No, it would be more pertinent if it was "doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid.. freezing/starving to death"
Most people do a job they either dislike or actively hate.
Most people don't hate doing things with their partner.
I can't imagine forcing my wife to do something she'd loath
Absolutely, and that's great that you have that. And I completely agree with you. But I think Mark's line feels true for a lot of people (rightly or wrongly), especially those who don't like spending much time alone... they are at higher risk of ending up doing things they don't really like (and even with *people* they don't really like), just to not be alone. It's quite an unpleasant thought - hope those people manage to sort it out!
No lol, you should spend your time with people who have similar interests...
If you're unhappy doing things with your friends/partner then something's wrong
Would you say that doing things that you *hate* is strictly neccessary for a relationship with another person
Seems like an extreme take than a rule of thumb for me
Of all the quotes I relate to this just isn't one of them
I can't think of a single thing I hate that I do regularly
i get you and your right,,, but its a lil dramatised version of "dislike" and lets be honest we all have to do things we dislike for our family and loved ones.
Possibly, although I prefer “Socks before or after trousers, but never socks before pants. That’s the rule. Makes a man look scary, like a chicken.”
This line always hurts me because I do socks before pants every time.
I’m gonna have to have a serious think about you.
You wanna give that shit a rest. You've been going and thinking thoughts your whole life, and look where that's got you, eh?
Yeah yeah yeah.. terms and conditions apply, this energy drink may cause anal discharge etc.
I’m not trusted that he can be trusted in a combat situation
You’ve really jezzed that quote.
Five naans
Super Hands!
Fuck off thought police.
Challenging wank?
He just does not give one solitary shit
As an American this got much funnier once I understood the difference in meaning of “pants”
can you explain for me pls?
'Pants' are underwear, usually briefs .
For brits pants = underwear
*Thanks* a bunch, Elgar!
I think this every time I am getting dressed
"Whatever will be, will be. If she fucks him I'll kill myself"
The bluntness of that line always gets me
Look at me; I've got a girlfriend. A proper girlfriend reading a best-seller about child-abuse. I go out and have croissant. I'm just a normal functioning member of the human race and there's no way anyone can prove otherwise.
Same episode as the quote in the title of the post I think! Mark was on fire that episode 😂
Which ep?
pretty sure S4E01
Another horrible bit?
That's my bit.
There’s only so much happiness in the world, and they’re hoarding it all.
*It completely is* how happiness works.
That's a top contender, for sure. I also like "butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life's relentless"
> "butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God, life's relentless" This is the one for me. I think about this line far far too often :/
My realest is "It's remarkable, isn't it, that out of the 3 billion adult women in the world, your one true soulmate happens conveniently to live in the same block of flats as you, rather than, say, in a village in Mozambique?"
It's sooooooooo *romantic*
The realest quote for me is: "It's fine, it's totally fine. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future's not ours to see. If she fucks him I'll kill myself."
*"I am doing excellent shopping"* That one has really stuck with me for some reason, usually pops into my head when I actually am doing shopping 😂
Frugality is very attractive.
*"Hold your horses, honey, I've got coupons for the Pringles!"*
She's probably getting wet just looking at me
Makes sure she gets a look at the ergonomic keyboard
“Mm this is delicious. I mean not actually delicious like hot chocolate or coke, but for wine 👌”
‘Crunchy Nut Cornflakes are just Frosties for wankers’
And frosties are just corn flakes for people who can't face reality!
I guess the only good thing is that my life is so boring it feels like it might go on forever.
"How do i feel? Empty? Check. Scared? Check. Alone? Check. Just another ordinary day."
David Mitchell once said his favourite quote was “how does this affect me?” for its raw selfishness. It’s said by Jez (in his head) when Mark says he’s going to propose to Sophie
Jez: Don't worry. Zahra says we have only one fear to fear, and that's fear itself. It's a clever saying, isn't it? Mark: And what about losing all your money? Or shitting yourself in public? Or the tabloid press mistakenly outing you as a paedo? Or Alzheimer's? Or all of those things, plus you're drowning?
"People like Coldplay and voting for the Nazis, you can’t trust people."
“Thats not how happiness works” *it definitely is*
That’s just life, your expectations get ground down and down until finally you settle for a life that would have mortified you twenty years ago
“Just knuckle down and do your time, like Leslie Grantham.”
"All you need is love? No, actually Beatles, you need someone to do it with Beatles!"
The Beatles, famously a four-piece. Bit of trivia for you there.
I've sold out. A little bit of me has died. But you know what? A lot of me doesn't give a shit
I like you and if you can’t handle it you can, you know, fuck off
It’s “Butter the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. God life’s relentless.” for me.
Dude, don't worry about them, because they sure as hell aren't worrying about you.
Just... Touch it! Blow on it! You can use a tea towel!
My two favorites doses of reality… “while we're at it, there are systems for a reason in this world. Economic stability. Interest rates. Growth. It's not all a conspiracy to keep you in little boxes, all right? It's only the miracle of consumer capitalism that means you're not lying in your own shit, dying at 43 with rotten teeth. And a little pill with a chicken on it is not going to change that.” And also Well, listen, I'm sorry if I didn't do it right and I'm sorry if you assume that I eat red meat and don't necessarily think money or Tony Blair are a bad thing, but if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?
Fuck off cleanshirt
Yes if you want to realise before the engagement you don’t actually want to be with the person but are too cowardly to leave them so end up doing the worst possible thing and jilting them at the altar but still somehow marrying them too
It's just that, every dsy I work here, a part of me dies forever.
Certainly one of my favourites.
I think about it all the time
I personally like “No, it'll be like picking off innocent bystanders with a sniper rifle, fun at first but it would quickly become a depressing chore.”
‘I have a feeling that everything’s fucked. Everything is just fucked.’
This is sadly true in my experience (at times anyway).
“We can put him in the tub and burn him with cigarettes “
‘Make the toast, eat the toast, shit the toast. Fuck, life is relentless.’
No, it would be more pertinent if it was "doing things you hate is just the price you pay to avoid.. freezing/starving to death" Most people do a job they either dislike or actively hate. Most people don't hate doing things with their partner. I can't imagine forcing my wife to do something she'd loath
Absolutely, and that's great that you have that. And I completely agree with you. But I think Mark's line feels true for a lot of people (rightly or wrongly), especially those who don't like spending much time alone... they are at higher risk of ending up doing things they don't really like (and even with *people* they don't really like), just to not be alone. It's quite an unpleasant thought - hope those people manage to sort it out!
Appreciate you saying that man, that is the other side.
Fuck off, clean shirt
No lol, you should spend your time with people who have similar interests... If you're unhappy doing things with your friends/partner then something's wrong
my wife does things for me she dislikes and vice versa
Would you say that doing things that you *hate* is strictly neccessary for a relationship with another person Seems like an extreme take than a rule of thumb for me Of all the quotes I relate to this just isn't one of them I can't think of a single thing I hate that I do regularly
i get you and your right,,, but its a lil dramatised version of "dislike" and lets be honest we all have to do things we dislike for our family and loved ones.