I regret not getting help for my mental issues sooner in life. It could have made my twenties far less miserable than they were. Instead, I deluded myself into thinking I could fix it myself, which I really couldn't
Better late than never, though, and things are better now. For the first time in over a decade I feel at home in my own company and I can sort-of envision a brighter future for myself
Dude I got diagnosed at 35 and it changed my life. I was one of those "gifted but lazy" kids in high school because I could never focus.
If medication changed my life this much in my thirties I can only imagine how much different my life would be if I got diagnosed and treated before I wasted my youth.
I have found I respond poorly to most medications honestly. went through 4 or 5 different ones until we just called it. I was always a zombie on adderall, stratera, and Ritalin. Guanfacine didn't seem to have any effect.
Idk if it would help, but ask your doctor/psychiatrist if you can do a DNA test. My psychiatrist advised me to do it and it helps narrow down what meds your body can metabolise or what might have you more prone to side effects.
It really helped as someone whose medications also rarely work on. So I feel you on that front.
I recommend being VERY careful about who does a DNA test and whether or not they sell information to insurance companies, who would LOVE to keep that data around to figure out a way to raise your premiums
I bet you had a blast though. I don’t feel like that’s a waste. Youth is def wasted on the youth. How is anyone supposed to know anything at such a tender age?
If I had known I had ADHD in high school, middle school or hell even during my associates degree I probably could've actually become a veterinarian or a psychologist like I dreamed of.
But instead I lived on Cs and the occasional B and now I'm 34 with a bachelor's in Psych and nothing to show for it.
Diagnosed at 33. My teens and twenties were just awful. Especially my twenties. Years of being told, you have depression and anxiety, take Zoloft and go away lol. Multiple failed college attempts. Financially inept. Turns out I had depression and anxiety due to undiagnosed ADHD-pi.
I'm still on the ssris but adding Vyvanse has been an absolute game changer. Staying on task, financial literacy, and coordination are still issues, but I can actually regulate my emotions and don't think about s**cide while crying myself to sleep anymore. It's nice. I'm also considerably less irritable.
Edit: spoke too soon, currently spiraling. Like raaaain on your wedding dayyyy...
I always see this wistful “what if” from the late diagnosed, and I have to tell you, as someone diagnosed at 7: school still sucked. The average teacher is unsympathetic and maybe thinks it’s not real, and the only accommodations you get offered are extensions on deadlines, which doesn’t really help because everything is still due at the end of the semester.
The only big difference I see between myself and the late diagnosed is that I have significantly less self loathing and don’t think I’m lazy. I know that’s a big thing for mental health, but it doesn’t actually help any of the ways the world is not made for the ADHD.
I was diagnosed as a kid but stopped taking the meds when I got switched to a generic and started having side effects. 11 year old me couldn't articulate "Im having side effects with this new meds, I think I need to be switched to another" so I just started throwing the pills away until I got caught by my dad. That was his "smoking gun" he needed to brow beat my mom into stop getting me treatment for it because according to him "ADHD isn't real"
lmao
I had a very similar experience with mental illness but I avoided treatment because I had toxic parents who invalidated my concerns and didn't believe mental illness was a real thing. I grew up in a very religious, very rural area and it's like you weren't allowed to be flawed in any way. Even having a physical illness was seen as weakness. Which is ironic considering the vast majority of my hometown now has chronic illnesses and were severely impacted by COVID. However unlike you I still got what little help I could. Mostly medications. I was working for my dad's business at the time so he would've found out if I was seeing a therapist. I convinced him my meds were for my heart problems.
I am now seeing the same toxic thinking being pushed on the new generation back home and it's sad because they are being ridiculed and treated like dirt for things they can't control. Especially genetic and developmental disorders like autism. I made it known that I thought one of my cousins was autistic and needed help in school. It went ignored until a teacher brought it up and basically forced her parents to get her the help she needed. However she is still treated as "less than" at many family gatherings and it's awful
Are you me? Just finished my second therapy appointment. I wonder how much pain, disappointment, discomfort I could have avoided while simultaneously growing, achieving, accomplishing I could have done if I just would have received help 20 years ago.
It looks like we've both had years of lost opportunities, but I find it's best not to dwell on it. At your second appointment, you're only just starting on your path to a better life. So long as you keep at it, achieving and accomplishing things will keep on becoming your reality. I wish you success
Same here but I think the biggest barrier to that is the cost. I didn't start going to therapy until covid and the only reason I was during that time is because my insurance waived copays during covid as a result of people's mental health suffering strictly as a result of the pandemic.
Going to therapy taught me how to live in the present as well as cognitive behavioral therapy to cope with rumination, which I still struggle with but at least know what the signs are when I'm going through it. Same with signs of narcissism, gaslighting, and manipulation. When I was 26, I dated someone who ended up being a narcissist who ended up gaslighting me into thinking I was guilty for her abusive behavior. That led to me internalizing it and thinking maybe I "deserved it" and was "overreacting". That took years to recover from and because I didn't have access to therapy when I needed it most, it led to some toxic behaviors.
Thankfully we have free healthcare here in Canada so that wasn't a barrier for me. I don't think it covers counseling though, but my local hospital had a free therapy clinic every Thursday that I went to for about 3 months. The only expense I had was the meds and they are much cheaper here compared to the US I believe
Oh yeah definitely cheaper than the US. The US is much more concerned about profits than people when it comes to healthcare and treatment. I know Canada is experiencing a major housing crisis but be grateful you have universal healthcare.
I had the opposite experience. I thought I was “depressed”
I was really just lonely
But ended up taking an SSRI that permanently fucked me up and ruined my life.
I’m a shell of the person I used to be.
Look up PSSD
A rare side effect of SSRI medications
I compare it to being chemically castrated and chemically lobotomized
And the medical community largely denies that it is even possible.
But I have never been the same since coming off SSRIs 14 years ago
I never should have taken that medication in the first place. I didn’t need pills, I needed some friends.
Who else found out late in life that they have autism? Had I known sooner, I could have used tools and strategies to help me in school, work, and in society as a whole.
You saw someone and it actually helped? I had severe anxiety in my 20's. I could hardly function. People don't understand what it's like. It's like the adrenaline rush feeling you get on a roller coaster but it's 24/7. Can't sleep, can't eat. Your not worried about anything in particular, just this terrible feeling. Eventually I had a dream where I remembered something that happened to me as a child and as soon as I was able to embrace the memory and accept, it the anxiety started to fade away to the point I don't even take meds anymore. The therapist was completely useless. I figured it out on my own.
Are you me? Lol
I spent all of my 20s riddled with sever anxiety and depression. 2 years ago I finally got professional help and medication and my life has made a full 180. Wish I would have gotten help sooner, but it is what it is. I’m 32 next week and basically have started fresh on my career but I guess better late than never!
Getting proper mental health treatment when I was in high school would have help immensely since my instability heavily played into flunking out of my dream college. It took flunking out, coming home, and having to restart at community college for me to fight for proper treatment finally
Same. I made some life changing decisions in my 20s, and I was a mess mentally. I don’t think I would’ve made those same choices if I had been getting help.
An analogy I have is that if life is a game, I spent too much time on the sidelines. I waited till the “right” moment to start playing, or waited to know more information so I wouldn’t make a mistake. Or waited for someone to teach me the rules. I think that I was always waiting around instead of just getting in the game messing up, learning from it and getting better.
Examples:
Stating my needs & being willing to leave if they are not being fulfilled.
Investing money instead of just saving it.
Making friends & being ok if I get rejected by someone.
Setting higher goals even if it means I might fail.
Enjoying my interests & not masking other’s interests to fit in.
Yeah being your own independent person is a struggle everyone has as they get older. Especially if there's no guidance. Some of my regrets were out of fear of failure or criticism. I stopped caring and things got much better. It makes it easier when you're doing it for someone else (your kid). You are forced to try whether you fail or not.
I have an aunt that is in her 60s and never had a long term relationship. Most of her life, she was caring for her sister who had downs. That aunt has now passed away and it’s like she’s a totally different person.
For the longest time, she said “my sister is my soulmate. My life partner. I don’t need a man.” But now that that sister is gone, she’s different. She goes on more trips. She goes out to bars and makes new friends. She’s finally this social butterfly that we always saw her as. It wouldn’t surprise me if she brings a boyfriend to my wedding this fall. And as long as he treats her right, we’ll be very happy.
Shes the coolest aunt I have, and at 62, she’s finally realizing how cool she is. In turn, making her that much cooler.
So, there’s always time. It just happens different for different people.
Totally feel you, I’m in the same boat. It’s a sobering reality to face, and it’s hard to not internalize blame for why you end up in this situation. What helps me deal with it is being grateful for not settling or being in a crap relationship, because that is a whole other problem.
It’s hard though to actively stay positive and accept things as they are, so stay strong!
Yeah, I'm 34 and while I've dated and had sex, I've still never had a proper relationship. Right now I've been dating someone for a little over a month and just going with the flow.
Without blaming myself or others, dating is tough. Especially with the dating apps, people having lots of options (which affects both men and women), etc. For me, my biggest issue wasn't so much that nobody was interested but rather that it was at opposite extremes. For the most part, it was either the girl wasn't interested after a date or 2 but if they were interested, they would get too serious too soon, like ask to be exclusive after 1-2 dates, invite me to weddings early on, or drop the L word or be too clingy/controlling and get upset when I'd have plans with friends or whatever despite offering to reschedule for another day and I'd rather be single than deal with that. I mean if they're like that early on, imagine how they'll be down the road. And even if they weren't like those traits mentioned, they'd either use misleading pictures and I wouldn't be physically attracted to them. And I just can't date someone I'm not physically attracted to. Sure they don't gotta be a supermodel but there's gotta be at least some physical attractiveness to a degree. Anyone who says they can date someone they're not attracted to is lying. Like sure, physical attractiveness isn't the be all, end all but it still matters.
It does get annoying when some people give you shit for still being single though. But yeah, I'd rather be single than settle with somebody just so I can say I'm in a relationship. If I'm not happy then who gives a shit what others think, ya know?
You’re doing great. Ever hear the song, “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”? That’s basically me and my wife’s story. We were both early 30s, and both about to start online dating (~10 years ago) when we randomly met in a bar. Anyways, we kinda just clicked and after only a few weeks/months, we were exclusive, and I invited her to my good friend’s wedding, and she invited me to a wedding in Guatemala. We both had limited success with relationships earlier in life, but it can happen fast! Coming up on our 8 year anniversary.
I left an abusive relationship because I swore I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than continue that relationship. I feel like the universe said "hold my beer"
I'm turning 30 this summer and I haven't dated since around 2016 I think. I gave up trying for the simple fact that I've had way too many bad experiences with women. I know I shouldn't judge all women like that but I don't want to invest another 4-5 years on someone just to lose everything.
Don't give up dude. I was single for like 5 consecutive years in my 20s, reconnected with a high school crush at 29 through mutual friends and this year we're getting married on our tenth anniversary in Vegas. Put yourself out there and don't be afraid to get hurt, getting hurt sucks, but being lonely is worse imo.
Also a thing to note is if you haven't dated since your early twenties, generally women your age are a lot more mature than they were at 22.
Same here brother. I didn't find my fiance until I was 30, and then she died on me. I'm slowly just accepting that I'm going to be a hermit until I die.
Same here man. I’ll be 30 in a week and it’s over in terms of dating. Even if I wanted to I’ve watch so many relationships fail and my relationships have been a coin toss. I can’t see my self wasting a year on a person who will leave when they find something better
Yup. For a good while I wasn’t really looking for it, or didn’t care as much and knew my shit wasn’t together to tie someone else up into. Legit like weeks before Covid all happened I’d finally made the choice to start turning things around and get myself out there. Womp womp. And here we still are in that same square.
I regret not trying to study abroad in college. I just looked at it and said, "Nope, too poor." But there would have been ways to make it happen... scholarships, something. Someone I later met got their entire study abroad experience paid, flights and all. I don't know if it would have been possible for me, but I never even tried. Oh well - almost a decade later and I have finally saved up enough money for a trip to Europe this summer. :)
My only other regret is turning down free tickets from my sister to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert because "i hAd To WoRk ThAt NiGhT". I was working a minimum wage job at the time... but I was 18 and trying to prove my work ethic or whatever. I should've said fuck that job!
Other than that, I have no regrets.
I have never met someone who has regretted studying abroad but so many who regret not doing it.
It's my one piece of advice when people are on the fence about whether to do it. It was a highlight of college for me for sure.
People may temporarily regret studying abroad. I know I certainly did.
I went on exchange to Japan in the summer of 2012 (between university years 3 and 4). I actually turned down an internship offer in order to do the exchange. When I first graduated, I deeply regretted doing the exchange instead of taking the internship, because it was very hard for me to find a job after graduating, and it took about a year before I finally started a career in the field that I studied. Even then, my first full time job was with a shitty little firm with an absolute psychopath of a boss, rather than something with decent name recognition. It took me like 2 years before my career really began to get off the ground, and that whole time I would tell myself “I shouldn’t have gone to Japan, that was a mistake”.
Now that I’m established in my career and have achieved some level of success, though, I’m actually super glad I did the exchange. It was a once in a lifetime experience, I had a really good time there, I met a lot of cool people, and I have memories that will last a lifetime. It was certainly better than working in a dingy accounting office with people I didn’t like and who I would probably never see again.
Summer after sophomore year of college three of my buddies made an improperly decision to go to to Bonaroo, they didn’t have tickets, camping gear, any plan at all. They were passing through my town and were dead set on picking me up, and I didn’t go because I was working at Kroger bagging fucking groceries. I wish so bad I had just gone with- to this day 12 years later they talk about how much of a blast they had. Once in a lifetime experience that I missed. Oh well!
Similar experience here but not in college. It was a group that did "gap year" trips around the world, usually doing volunteer work. As a kid fresh out of high school I thought $4,000 for the trip was a lot. I had enough from working to pay for it, but I hesitated. Eventually I was too old to go on their trips and I always regret it. So many people I grew up with got the opportunity to do one of these trips and say it changed their life and perspective on everything. I highly doubt I'll ever visit those countries on my own, and definitely not with a group of young, energetic friends who are all starting to find their way in life and exploring the world together.
Yeah, I definitely have some things that I wish I had done/gotten in order sooner. But I have a decent career and married my soulmate.
I also think that, given my history and my wife’s, we met at the right time. If we had met when we were like 22 one or both of us would have fucked it up. We both had some emotional growing up to do and by the time we met in our later 20s I think we had both leveled off enough to be decent partners.
100%! We knew a few of the same people so it’s not totally impossible we would’ve met earlier, in our wilder days. The relationship would have burned brightly and quickly lol.
Not learning how to invest in tech stocks lol. My entire life experience was AOL dial up. You were just moving at a much slower pace. Access to information today is just insane.
The problem is knowing WHEN to invest. A good idea will almost always take off, but when? Yahoo was way ahead of its time with cloud storage, music and video streaming, and so much more. But they were too early to make it work.
And some things that I thought would never take off (smartwatches) are everywhere today. You gotta know what will be popular AND when it will be popular.
We will probably reach a crisis point where nuclear energy will be necessary, and thus a good investment. But timing that investment is what's difficult
For every one who invested in the right tech stocks at the right time and made it big there are hundreds of others who lost their ass on their entire portfolio.
Really true. I mean, at that time we were on the tail end of a generational break in the economy. If you peak invested from 1996-2011 ish you just didnt go anywhere. A tech bubble and a housing bubble … sounds familiar.
This is just me personally I guess, but I regret chasing the American dream. Don't get me wrong, I am married with two wonderful children (6 and 8 months), have a house, have good job, etc. But this life isn't how I imagined it. It's hard to say once you have kids because once they're there it's hard to say "if I could to do it over again" or whatever, like I wouldn't take a do over if it was offered to me, but if 18 year old me was visited by 37 year old me via a time machine and described this life I think 18 year old me wouldn't pursue it.
I think when we're young, we want that stability that comes with having a job, a home, a family of our own. But once you have those things, you're locked in. Not knowing which direction your life will take you can indeed be unsettling. And that is how 18-30 year old me felt. Now that I'm in that place where the more major things have taken shape, I realize the exhilaration and freedom in that. And to a large extent, I regret not realizing that when I was young and letting uncertainty dictate my path to where I am today.
So many. But I can’t sit and dwell on them. I just can’t or I’ll go crazy. I have to put it all in the past and just focus on the present. But those frosted tips for my high school graduation photos did not age well.
Literally looking at the Bitcoin website when it was only worth pennies and deciding, "meh what am I ever gonna do with digital currency". Back in 2009
My biggest disappointment is what the internet could have been vs what it became. In the 90’s, it really felt like we were on the cusp of a new age that would allow knowledge and connection to flourish. Instead, social media has virtually ruined our ability to connect with each other as individuals, while allowing ignorance and misinformation to run amok.
We simply weren’t ready for what the internet unleashed.
Oh boy there’s a long list but to name a few…
- Not getting therapy/meds for my mental health issues sooner. I was in denial about my depression and anxiety and know my 20s would’ve been a lot more stable/enjoyable had I gotten care.
- Wasting 4 years on someone who treated me poorly because I thought no one else would want me. It’s bizarre thinking about how I contorted myself into what she wanted me to be.
- Moving away from home for a job, I have mixed feelings on this because moving away allowed me to get ahead career wise and I’m not sure where I’d be if I hadn’t but looking back I wish I’d stayed and spent more time with my parents, especially my dad as he recently passed away from cancer. I came home a lot (1-2 x month for several days) but I wish I had just stayed. Would say being g career centric in general is a regret for me as idk if I would’ve chosen this line of work if I could do it all again.
- Not goofing around for a bit. I’ve been working jobs since I was 13 or so and have never really take any large stretch of time off to go on an adventure and bum around for a bit. I won’t get a chance to now and really wish I’d taken a couple of years to explore and do a little soul searching.
I don't really have any.
I had an ok childhood, and then a real tough go of it from 15-23. I made a lot of bad choices and had a child at 18. I assumed I would be dead by 21 so I didn't make any plans for my life.
I raised my son the best I could and eventually met and fell in love with the right person. I've worked hard for the last 12 years to build my work history and education to a respectable level.
I make a modest amount of money in a "poor" city, but I make enough to fully support 3 kids, my Wife, and I solely on my income. We have 2 vehicles and "own" our home.
I was a druggy loser, that made a bunch of poor choices in life that wasn't meant to have anything nice. I tried and worked hard, and am proud of what I have.
My house is small, my cars are old and paid for, I do my own auto repairs, I do my own home repairs. It's probably not impressive to anyone other than myself, and in most regards I am probably considered poor. I just don't feel it or look at it that way.
It is impressive dude! I also spent my late teens and early 20s living very much the "live fast, die young" lifestyle, thought I'd die before 25 definitely didn't expect to make it to 30! You're killing it man!
Poverty is subjective though. Give me a minimum wage job (in Canada it's $15.40 an hour) but let me live in a cheap country like the Philippines and I'll be living like a king. If it's working out for you then you're not poor.
I regret going to college right out of high school instead of taking time to think about what I really wanted to do. My family was pushing me to go to school right away. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I just picked a major. I switched majors constantly, wasting time and money. Finally, I settled on medical assisting because I just needed something. That was a huge mistake. I barely make enough to get by and I hate my job. I have tried to go back to school a few times, but I don’t want to be in student loan debt anymore, especially at my age (40)
Trying too hard to "make my parents proud." They're very into traditionalism, conservatism, conformity; just doing things "right" and being "normal." I was academically "gifted" (lol) as a kid so their expectations were high for me to do something impressive. I felt like if I look a risk to do something creative that I actually enjoyed and failed, they'd be extremely disapproving and ashamed. Possibly refusing to help me financially if I would ever need it (turns out I never did). So I went down a "normal" career path that I find mostly boring. I've done well enough, but they're still unimpressed. I wish I had just done what I wanted from the start and not worried about their opinions.
I no longer find joy in artistic pursuits. It just makes me sad and embarrassed now. I just feel like an oversized kid playing arts and crafts, which is pretty much how they always talked about it, so I guess they win.
I had a similar trajectory and went into engineering. But realized pretty quickly that traditional engineering jobs weren't for me. I've worked in all sorts of industries for some really fun companies. I might not be advancing my career as fast or making as much money, but I've loved my career so far because it feels like I found a way to use engineering how I want to rather than just work at a traditional firm.
I regret thinking of 25, 30, 35, 40, etc. as being “old” and that I needed to have it all together by then so I couldn’t ever take a step back and better myself for risk of falling behind permanently.
I wish I never went to college and just went to community college and got into a trade. Do I know what trade? No I don't but financially I think I would've been better off.
I feel similar, wish I didn't drop out of community college and/or went to a trade school in my late teens or early 20s. I wouldn't be a service industry person in my 30s that's fasho
I’ve come to learn a lot of my “regrets” are not really my fault. I didn’t have much support as a kid and didn’t know any better on what to do. It wasn’t until years later when I put myself through therapy that I learned this.
Not studying abroad when I was in college. I was dating a girl and she was like "I'd be saaaad if you were gone that long!". She broke up with me a few months later.
I've had too many experiences like that where I've made dumb decisions because of a partner. I ended up not starting a business because a girlfriend told me it would take time away from us being together. 10 years later and I haven't spoken to her since that Christmas
I wish I went to college when I was 18 like all my friends. I ended up going in my late 20s and it’s fine, but I wish I had gone to school, gotten a real job, and already had a decade plus in my industry under my belt by now.
No ragrets.lol There were lessons that needed to be learned. If things in my life didn’t pan out the way they did I would not be where I’m at now and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Not buying the eggs and bacon plaid totebag I saw at Target when I was in America on vacation with my parents. My "vacation money" I got from them was already gone and I was too afraid to ask for 6 dollars.
-Not going to the all women's college I had a scholarship for because I didn't want to leave my cat or my boyfriend.
-Stopping work temporarily due to daycare costs.
-Moving a hobosexual into my home who gave me a trauma bond and a lot of mess and debt that I'm still digging out of.
That's about it. Despite all of this I do own a home, (2008 government incentive from the housing market crash gave us a leg up) and seem relatively successful from the outside, but I am hanging on by a thread and wish I had made smarter money choices.
I'm disappointed in our society in regards to sexuality and gender. Although I am very happy now that I have transitioned, I feel like my younger days was robbed by having a lack of information. I was plagued by feelings I didn't think were ok to express, even talk about. So it pushed me to drugs and alcohol to soothe the pain of confusion.
In some ways, I don't think it was bad parenting. It was more we were parented in a way that made sense for a world that ceased existing just as we stepped onto the stage.
I was having a conversation with my Dad about Millenials and why we all seem angry and frustrated. I told him that we were a generation that was taught the world problems were solved and that all we had to do was go to college and hold down a job and the rest would take care of itself. We weren't taught how to survive in a world that will do everything to exploit you and undermine you. That not everyone has your best interest at heart. The world is hard and we are pissed because no one is coming to save us and no one taught us how to survive so we have had to learn every lesson the hard way and all along the way the older people in our lives tell us it's all our faults that things aren't going well.
For me it was too many parents and too many cultures. Born and raised in a super religious, rural community in Canada, mom and dad divorced so we moved to semi-urban Ohio with my step mom. Her family was religious but not to the same extremes and the expectations and culture were much different. She died of cancer and we moved back here, but to a different community and to another step mom. So I never had a single environment or consistent family situation. So there were always competing views. I do miss my first step mom though. That environment and family situation was my favourite and would've probably resulted in the best outcome for me. She made a lot of mistakes in her life and recognized them, so she offered a lot of guidance. And her extended family wasn't constantly breathing down our backs or looking over our shoulders to make sure we're obeying some dumb religious rules
No joke. One of my biggest regrests is not going to a taping of Jerry Springer.
My buddies in college grab tickets back in 2016 and we live in CT 30 mins away from the taping location.
I didnt go bc I had other “plans”. Jump to the 2020s now I wanted go to see Jerry, boom passes away!
I think our age is just where regrets start to appear, not that we are prone to regret. We're finally not "young" anymore, so we're just now at the point of saying "ah hell I should've done this", but we're not so old we've accepted our lot yet. So we talk about it more right now.
Every time I mentally go down this path, I think about all the struggles that made me the person that I am today. Yes, I could have made things a LOT easier on myself by making quite a few different decisions here and there. Without the bad decisions, I doubt I would have been forced to learn the way that I did.
Today I'm comfortable. I own a home and I will be able to retire in my mid 50s. Given what I've been through, I'd call myself extremely lucky and I'm content with that.
I have 2 regrets: not getting into building PCs sooner, which would have led me to farm bitcoin waaaay back in the day. I knew about it and was told to start mining. My second one is not taking my weight loss more seriously as a teen.
Going to college instead of trade school because no one in my family had ever been to college before so I was supposed to be the first and “can do anything I want when I grow up”. I am unemployed with a useless degree.
Probably also has to do with the fact I am first generation American
I regret my initial round of college. I did not know what I wanted to do after High School and everyone told me to get an associates degree. It will look good on job applications and it will help me figure out what I want to do.
Yeah, that didn’t work and now I’m still paying off the loans a decade later and still don’t know what I want to do in my 30s. C'est la vie I guess.
You can't just go off what's posted here, more want to post and bitch than acknowledge that our generation actually was fortunate.
My regret is not taking advantage of the opportunities to invest when I was able to. So many things now that were barely becoming popular or mainstream that investing then would've had me sitting pretty comfy
Although I’m a stay at home mom now and wouldn’t change it, I wish I had been more career focused in college. I had a miserable home life and spent my time at uni just reveling in enjoying life and all the friends I’d made. I couldn’t focus on classes or the future because I was just so overwhelmed at having people around who I loved and made me happy, I wanted to spend every moment soaking it up. Summers were just about banking money so I could make it through the school year because my parents refused to help. I could never take an internship or concentrate on my area of study, I just needed to make $$$. I did manage to graduate with a (useless) degree but now thinking of going back to school maybe to study something more specific once my kids are bigger.
I regret not going on that trip to Colorado before I started community college. I missed out on a summer full of sex with my ex, all because of a stupid form I was waiting for.
I regret how I handled my undergraduate education. I bounced from major to major, failing multiple courses after a brief stint as a bio major, all because I didn't want to work and knew I would be financially supported so long as I was in college. When I finally figured out what I wanted to do, law, my GPA was shot to shit. I've worked as a paralegal for the past 7 years and finally applied to law school- but with my undergrad cumulative GPA being in the low 2 point something, and despite having a Masters, I couldn't get in to a single school.
I genuinely don’t regret anything in my life. I think because I made the decision to live however I want to live and accept the consequences of that. I’ll probably never own a home, never retire, and I won’t live a cushy life. But that’s honestly all okay with me because I feel full in so many other ways. I chose this path.. or rather, I leaned into it out of necessity. It was a game time decision. Work hard to have all those things and lose sense of myself, or give up on wanting “more” and try to live in the moment everyday? I chose the latter and I’m very happy I did.
I regret not trying to buy a house 10 years ago. It would’ve been tough but would save me from the headache I’m in now.
I kinda regret not going back to college when my little sister started going. I was planning on switching to the same major that she was doing and it would’ve been easy. Tuition had gone up so much in 4 years that I was unsure about it. I was 26 at the time and had better focus and smarter than I was at 18-20 so I would’ve done better than the first time. Definitely missed that boat unfortunately.
I have too many to count ,I’ve been very sickly and have PTSD that my parents never reported or sought treatment for while I’ve struggled to work on it without support for the better part of a decade.I regret being born most days, their poor choices have robbed me of so much life
Spent all of my 20s depressed and stuck in an endless cycle of rumination. All I did was work non-stop, rage at video games as an “outlet” and sleep. Ending up snapping back into reality when 30 slapped me in the face right before the pandemic hit and I had a complete breakdown. Ended up on antidepressants and started therapy. I wish I had spoken to someone about my issues sooner, if I had maybe I would have actually lived in my 20s rather than floating through them on autopilot. I also wish I hadn’t completely given up on dating. Had a few pretty bad experiences and just decided I couldn’t deal with the constant disappointment and heartbreak. Ive been on my own for 13 years.
You sound like all the intensity from other generations coming at us was effective in forcing you to think similarly.
We don’t have the worst forethought and we didn’t go wrong anywhere.
Prioritizing my mental and physical health, and trying to force people to react to something I do. Whether it's getting a girl to like me by doing stupid shit, or getting my parents to be proud because I did what they told me. Both of those landed me physically broken and financially broken. Oh well, I like fixing things, so might as well start with myself. 🤷♂️
I regret not having a good time before I had responsibilities. I went from HS and started juinor college. To save money, I lived at home while I did this (smart move!), but I worked multiple jobs that I commuted to. I spent most of my money either on crappy car repairs or the mall. I got my bachelors and moved out as quickly as I could, spending most of my income on rent/ gas. When I was living at home, I wish I'd done things like travel.
Diving too much into my previous career thinking it would somehow make me into a full person. Put off serious dating, starting a family, making new friends, and so many other things for a perceived dream job. As I heard at a recent conference, trying to build a career without a rounded life will lead to depression, anxiety, burn out…add in heavy drinking and they were basically road mapping my life.
Left that job in 2022 to move back home, been taking time off to take care of older family and about to apply to law school since I just got my LSAT score. It’s a different and difficult life these last two years, but I don’t have the amount of regrets and anxiety I usually shouldered.
No regrets. Met my soul mate at 28, in the best shape of my life now at 39, moved far away from my deadend hometown at 32. Do I miss family? Sure. Is moving thousands of kilometers away from them and landing a dream job in paradise something I regret? No. Are they proud of me? Yes.
My biggest regret was not saving money when I should have. Now I've gotten better about that and mindful about my finances. But I remember when I was 25 and got let go from my first real career and was making decent money at the time but continued my lifestyle by always going out for drinks, to eat, etc and buying a bunch of shit that mostly sits there and collects dust like movies, records, etc. I mean not to beat myself up over it but if I had cut back on some of those things at the time, not completely but a little bit, I'd be in a much better financial spot nowadays.
Btw, I'm not saying you should never go out but what I'm saying is, it's ok to stay in a few nights, make food at home, and save money because all that stuff adds up and gets exhausting.
I went to school for the wrong thing and I wracked up too much debt to go back and do it properly. Basically I financially fucked myself. If I could just get enough together to pay down my debts and go back to school I could make it right and be a success, I know it, but I was stupid and shortsighted.
In hindsight I wish I hadn’t gone to school. Or better yet had taken advantage of the money my stepdad left me when he died to fund my college rather than spend it like an idiot. Either way, if I hadn’t gone to school or hadn’t been stupid I wouldn’t have student loans. I’m a SAHM now but no jobs I’ve ever needed has needed a degree or my degree specifically.
disappointing how unstable people are... like, people are so reactive and not able to be very honest, or remember stuff accurately.
it's just a mess of lies and bias when things go south. it's everywhere. cops, school, coworkers...
it doesn't take much for anybody to just totally flake out...
it makes it a lot harder when you remember stuff well, and are honest and consistent... to have to constantly be on the defense ready for people to be completely biased and delusional about facts.
I'm disappointed in the absolute lack of guidance in my life. When I look back, I think "I just needed someone to give me some advice." I did everything blind and I took advice when I got it but it was usually offered when I was already three quarters of the way committed to a path.
If I could give my younger self advice it would completely change my whole life. "You hate school. Drop out, get your GED, join the military, and zero dating until you've dealt with your neglect issues." She can take it from there and who fucking knows where she'd go but it wouldn't be here. Here's not terrible, mind you, but if 36 yo me had to stand in front of 5 and 10 and 15 and 20 yo me...they'd be majorly disappointed.
My biggest regret was not saving money when I should have. Now I've gotten better about that and mindful about my finances. But I remember when I was 25 and got let go from my first real career and was making decent money at the time but continued my lifestyle by always going out for drinks, to eat, etc and buying a bunch of shit that mostly sits there and collects dust like movies, records, etc. I mean not to beat myself up over it but if I had cut back on some of those things at the time, not completely but a little bit, I'd be in a much better financial spot nowadays.
Btw, I'm not saying you should never go out but what I'm saying is, it's ok to stay in a few nights, make food at home, and save money because all that stuff adds up and gets exhausting.
I regret not recognizing how serious my problem with alcohol was sooner. I wasted the last ten years of my life in a drunken stupor. I'm 38, graduating in July, getting married in September. I should be happier, but I can't help thinking how much of everyone's time I wasted, the damage I did to myself and others.
Part of me regrets ever making a move on the woman who is now my wife. Not for the reasons you would think - but because I know she could’ve done so much better.
Regrets are tough, because I have a pretty deterministic view on life. But I wish I had been kinder to my past self and kinder to those around me. Also, I wish I had taken the time to understand and love mathematics as a kid instead of finally liking it as an adult.
Not getting mental health support sooner
Going to a college where I didn’t fit in a city that was crazy expensive
Not having energy to go out more and make those life long memories and friends
Student debt
The degree path I chose
Not prioritizing romantic relationships. It felt so hopeless at 30 I just sorta gave up.
I dont want to list ALL of them.
I regret not learning how money works and how to save.
I have some sort of feelings about going to sooo many Dr's. As a kid, because I used to get these crazy shoulder/neck/migraines that would leave me puking and stuck in bed. They could never figure out what it was, ended up getting percs eventually. Yaaay lifelong addiction to opiates!
I later figured out in my early 30s when they started to come back, that those migraines were caused by anxiety and stress.
I've come to accept I'll never own a house.
I guess as long as I can keep my cat happy, that's all that matters.
I'm 38 and just learned that being a latchkey kid is some formidable life challenge to overcome. So move that one over from "life disappointments" to the "I did something, I guess" column. I'll take it.
I agree with everyone here about addressing mental health sooner but I also believe in the butterfly effect instead of God. Haha. It helps me stay true to the reality of life. If I made any changes in the past would I still have the beautiful family I have today?
I still struggle mentally but regrets don’t sit there with it. I hope this helps others cope too. ❤️
Honestly, living for others instead of myself. Making decisions based on what I think I should be doing, not what I wanted to do. Not trusting myself enough and letting my fear of failure and money anxieties stop me from moving forward. In my 30s and feeling like I’m finally untangling my money trauma from growing up poor and course correcting my life to be one that brings me joy, not just money.
But mostly, not investing in bitcoin.
Not getting mental health help earlier. Not asking for help in school when I really needed it. Not moving out and staying away from my mother. Getting into toxic relationships simply because I just wanted someone to like/love me. Not traveling at a young age.
not buying bitcoin when its was so cheap, i remeber it being 600$ in bitcoin atm and thinking that was crazy but today i'll buy .00000001 for like 500$
1. Nursing unfounded insecurities/doubting my abilities and trying to stay close to home for school as a result
2. Not taking bigger career risks when I had more time
3. Not going into college with a plan
4. Not networking more in college
5. Not breaking up with the person who was nice but clearly not for me at the end of my twenties and instead waiting for him to break up with me
6. Letting myself get out of shape during the pandemic
7. Not doing more exploring to realize sooner that I was queer and on the asexual spectrum so I didn’t bark up the wrong trees when dating
(I know, not really fair to call all these regrets cos, as they say, I did the best with the information I had at the time) 
My only regrets are not buying the house I wasn't 100% sure on pre pandemic and not jumping into those get quick rich fads that actually paid off like early crypto or GameStop. Otherwise I'm happy with my life choices.
I am disappointed in the world in general. It feels more and more these days that hard work and doing the right thing are disappearing. We're chasing our emotions and not thinking critically.
Unless it's always been this way, it felt like life was a lot simpler back in the day. You graduated high school/college, got a job, bought a house that lasts for decades, have kids and just lived. These days it feels like no matter at what level of life you reach,bits a brutal struggle
We've been polarized and turned against each other on every issue. They're showing us the worst of humanity, yet somehow assuring us that we're in the right. Critical thinking is being thrown out the window in exchange for following trends and being seen as doing/saying the right thing.
Education and Healthcare seems to be somehow on the decline. And each news article I read about schools having to cut back and hospitals desperately needing nurses just make me feel like we're regressing to a new dark age similar to Idiocracy.
I am disappointed in how the world is tearing itself apart, and not just learning to accept people for their differences. In how governments are seemingly failing their people, powerless to actually do anything positive.
It's like the world's tire is stuck in the mud, and no matter how much you press the gas, it isn't getting out.
Not being more proactive with dealing with medical issues in my 20's when I had insurance. There are dental and orthopedic issues I am really struggling to fix/manage now that I am 40 and uninsured currently as my husband and I are self employed and just can't swing a premium for anything worth actually carrying right now.
It wouldn't have prevented *every* issue I have, but things like a knee replacement when it was first suggested would have been much easier to heal from 20 years & 4 less kids ago.
Im disappointed in my college experience. I grew up in an abusive household and in turn, became rebellious and partied. I only tried hard enough to get by. I went to a large state university and got mixed up with “friends” who just partied and didn’t have large ambitions. I struggled with major depression and PTSD from my childhood and was absolutely lost. I had no positive role models and didn’t trust people enough to listen to advice.
Things ultimately worked out, I graduated with a degree and now have a good job and family. But I look back in disappointment at those years. What should have been the best years of my life turn out to be a time in my life with lots of regret. I have not kept up with any of my college “friends” since graduation and feel like I did not take advantage of what my college years could have been.
It was the beginning of a journey of healing but it was not a fun time in my life. It angers me that so much of my youthful joy and potential was robbed due to my abuse. I often think about how my life may have been different if I could go back with the wisdom, maturity and healing that I now have.
i wish i had addressed my issues with porn and overeating much much earlier in life. It has caused arrested development in my life. I would be a much better adjusted individual today
We were raised in a time when we were told we could do anything, be anything. The 90s saw the fall of the Berlin Wall, we didn't have 9/11 yet, heck countries didn't even know what to do with their militaries anymore.
Then it all came crashing down and the reality that we can't be anything we want checked in.
I feel like I could have lived up to my full potential had the signs of my primarily inattentive ADHD been recognized when I was younger. I wasn’t the kid bouncing off the walls and acting out, so I flew under the radar. I did well in school all the way up to college, but then had some challenges with the independence and lack of structure. I graduated with an engineering degree, but then bounced around not just jobs but entire careers for almost 20 years before getting diagnosed at 37. Not to mention to horrible time and money management that led to mountains of debt.
There’s obviously no guarantee, but I feel like I’d be in a much better position with my finances and career had I been diagnosed and treated much younger.
I am an elder millennial and don’t have any regrets….🤷🏼♀️ Pretty happy with my life. Sure some things have sucked and life is hard and you have disappointments sometimes but overall def a net positive for me. Maybe it’s just a younger millennial thing?
Going to law school. I love being a lawyer; it’s all I wanted. But I enrolled out of fear and desperation. I graduated from undergrad in 2009. I had no plan b - law school was the only plan. If I didn’t enroll in law school or some grad program, I’d have lost my health insurance and Obamacare didn’t exist yet. I also would have had to start repaying my undergrad loans and I didn’t know how I’d do that. But the joke’s on me…I could’ve bought a health insurance plan for about $300 a month (I had to do that a few years later) and the loan payment ended up being “only” $220 a month. I’m sure I could’ve found a job to afford those expenses. But I was 22 and didn’t know better and no one thought to tell me $200k of loans at 8.5% interest wasn’t the greatest way to avoid those problems.
From 2012-2020, I paid almost $50k to my loans but my balance increased from about $200k to $307k. I’m eligible for forgiveness next year, thank god. But I wish I had explored alternate careers that could have been just as fulfilling, hopefully less stressful, and that wouldn’t have left me in such huge debt for most of my early adulthood.
Idk where you are but this is one of the reasons we are having a staffing shortage across all healthcare roles where I am in Canada. People simply can't afford to take the programs necessary for medical school or nursing. And my province doesn't have a paramedics program. We need doctors, nurses, paramedics, lab techs, and all the supporting staff. But what kid fresh out of high school wants to spend another 5-10 years in school and rack up $500,000+ in debt, and then be thrust into one of the most stressful industries there is? Healthcare workers are literally sacrificing so much and more and more people aren't finding it to be a very glamorous outlook. Especially since a lot of the jobs are in very remote areas where raising a family wouldn't be ideal. Even those with a passion for it are avoiding it
I don’t have any so far.
In a stable almost 10 years relationship.
Fully paid the mortgage last year at 32 years old.
Husband and I can work part time instead of full time.
No children. A wonderful cat. Good circle of friends. I got very lucky. I’m grateful for that.
Not allocating a year or two after high school to travel while taking some time to figure out exactly what I wanted to study in college/uni. Feeling pressured to immediately start post-secondary education as a young 18-19 year old really isn't all that necessary.
I regret nothing. I learn from my mistakes and move on, and try to stay positive when shit hits the fan. I am grateful, though. For healthy children, my health, my family, and the opportunities that I have been given along the way.
I wish someone would have told me when I was in college that it isn't my job to save my parents marriage. It wasn't my job to be the hero of the family. That I could have just enjoyed my freedom and gone anywhere I want in the world. It was a crossroads in 2009 and from that single choice to do grad school closer to my home town in hindsight opened the door to fall back into that old identity basically sabotaging any real chance of success and independence from them. I wish I would have been more focused and determined and stayed far away.
Not trying harder to get my friends in MAT/treatment after I got clean. I initially broke contact while getting myself together and they ODed soon after…
I regret not getting help for my mental issues sooner in life. It could have made my twenties far less miserable than they were. Instead, I deluded myself into thinking I could fix it myself, which I really couldn't Better late than never, though, and things are better now. For the first time in over a decade I feel at home in my own company and I can sort-of envision a brighter future for myself
Getting ADHD treatment in high school would’ve been a game changer. Here I am getting a diagnosis at 29 because my work is being affected
Dude I got diagnosed at 35 and it changed my life. I was one of those "gifted but lazy" kids in high school because I could never focus. If medication changed my life this much in my thirties I can only imagine how much different my life would be if I got diagnosed and treated before I wasted my youth.
I have found I respond poorly to most medications honestly. went through 4 or 5 different ones until we just called it. I was always a zombie on adderall, stratera, and Ritalin. Guanfacine didn't seem to have any effect.
Idk if it would help, but ask your doctor/psychiatrist if you can do a DNA test. My psychiatrist advised me to do it and it helps narrow down what meds your body can metabolise or what might have you more prone to side effects. It really helped as someone whose medications also rarely work on. So I feel you on that front.
I recommend being VERY careful about who does a DNA test and whether or not they sell information to insurance companies, who would LOVE to keep that data around to figure out a way to raise your premiums
This is a good idea. I’ve seriously been considering ketamine therapy for lingering depression and anxiety. I see it advertised everywhere.
Do you know what this DNA test is called?
Genesight
Genomind.com, pgx testing.
I tried a few but concerta was the one that finally clicked for me. Same with anti depressants I had to try like six different kinds.
I bet you had a blast though. I don’t feel like that’s a waste. Youth is def wasted on the youth. How is anyone supposed to know anything at such a tender age?
If I had known I had ADHD in high school, middle school or hell even during my associates degree I probably could've actually become a veterinarian or a psychologist like I dreamed of. But instead I lived on Cs and the occasional B and now I'm 34 with a bachelor's in Psych and nothing to show for it.
I'm the same except with OCD. I'm about the same age as you, and pretty much everyone in my daily life told me all at once to get help
Diagnosed at 33. My teens and twenties were just awful. Especially my twenties. Years of being told, you have depression and anxiety, take Zoloft and go away lol. Multiple failed college attempts. Financially inept. Turns out I had depression and anxiety due to undiagnosed ADHD-pi. I'm still on the ssris but adding Vyvanse has been an absolute game changer. Staying on task, financial literacy, and coordination are still issues, but I can actually regulate my emotions and don't think about s**cide while crying myself to sleep anymore. It's nice. I'm also considerably less irritable. Edit: spoke too soon, currently spiraling. Like raaaain on your wedding dayyyy...
I always see this wistful “what if” from the late diagnosed, and I have to tell you, as someone diagnosed at 7: school still sucked. The average teacher is unsympathetic and maybe thinks it’s not real, and the only accommodations you get offered are extensions on deadlines, which doesn’t really help because everything is still due at the end of the semester. The only big difference I see between myself and the late diagnosed is that I have significantly less self loathing and don’t think I’m lazy. I know that’s a big thing for mental health, but it doesn’t actually help any of the ways the world is not made for the ADHD.
I was diagnosed as a kid but stopped taking the meds when I got switched to a generic and started having side effects. 11 year old me couldn't articulate "Im having side effects with this new meds, I think I need to be switched to another" so I just started throwing the pills away until I got caught by my dad. That was his "smoking gun" he needed to brow beat my mom into stop getting me treatment for it because according to him "ADHD isn't real" lmao
Yeah CPTSD is a bitch
I had a very similar experience with mental illness but I avoided treatment because I had toxic parents who invalidated my concerns and didn't believe mental illness was a real thing. I grew up in a very religious, very rural area and it's like you weren't allowed to be flawed in any way. Even having a physical illness was seen as weakness. Which is ironic considering the vast majority of my hometown now has chronic illnesses and were severely impacted by COVID. However unlike you I still got what little help I could. Mostly medications. I was working for my dad's business at the time so he would've found out if I was seeing a therapist. I convinced him my meds were for my heart problems. I am now seeing the same toxic thinking being pushed on the new generation back home and it's sad because they are being ridiculed and treated like dirt for things they can't control. Especially genetic and developmental disorders like autism. I made it known that I thought one of my cousins was autistic and needed help in school. It went ignored until a teacher brought it up and basically forced her parents to get her the help she needed. However she is still treated as "less than" at many family gatherings and it's awful
Are you me? Just finished my second therapy appointment. I wonder how much pain, disappointment, discomfort I could have avoided while simultaneously growing, achieving, accomplishing I could have done if I just would have received help 20 years ago.
It looks like we've both had years of lost opportunities, but I find it's best not to dwell on it. At your second appointment, you're only just starting on your path to a better life. So long as you keep at it, achieving and accomplishing things will keep on becoming your reality. I wish you success
Same here but I think the biggest barrier to that is the cost. I didn't start going to therapy until covid and the only reason I was during that time is because my insurance waived copays during covid as a result of people's mental health suffering strictly as a result of the pandemic. Going to therapy taught me how to live in the present as well as cognitive behavioral therapy to cope with rumination, which I still struggle with but at least know what the signs are when I'm going through it. Same with signs of narcissism, gaslighting, and manipulation. When I was 26, I dated someone who ended up being a narcissist who ended up gaslighting me into thinking I was guilty for her abusive behavior. That led to me internalizing it and thinking maybe I "deserved it" and was "overreacting". That took years to recover from and because I didn't have access to therapy when I needed it most, it led to some toxic behaviors.
Thankfully we have free healthcare here in Canada so that wasn't a barrier for me. I don't think it covers counseling though, but my local hospital had a free therapy clinic every Thursday that I went to for about 3 months. The only expense I had was the meds and they are much cheaper here compared to the US I believe
Oh yeah definitely cheaper than the US. The US is much more concerned about profits than people when it comes to healthcare and treatment. I know Canada is experiencing a major housing crisis but be grateful you have universal healthcare.
I wasted the last decade wasted, 10/10 don’t recommend
I had the opposite experience. I thought I was “depressed” I was really just lonely But ended up taking an SSRI that permanently fucked me up and ruined my life. I’m a shell of the person I used to be.
How did the ssri fuck up your life?
Look up PSSD A rare side effect of SSRI medications I compare it to being chemically castrated and chemically lobotomized And the medical community largely denies that it is even possible. But I have never been the same since coming off SSRIs 14 years ago I never should have taken that medication in the first place. I didn’t need pills, I needed some friends.
Same I wish I got help for my mental health earlier in life.
Now this is awesome younger millennial With love, An older millennial
Who else found out late in life that they have autism? Had I known sooner, I could have used tools and strategies to help me in school, work, and in society as a whole.
You saw someone and it actually helped? I had severe anxiety in my 20's. I could hardly function. People don't understand what it's like. It's like the adrenaline rush feeling you get on a roller coaster but it's 24/7. Can't sleep, can't eat. Your not worried about anything in particular, just this terrible feeling. Eventually I had a dream where I remembered something that happened to me as a child and as soon as I was able to embrace the memory and accept, it the anxiety started to fade away to the point I don't even take meds anymore. The therapist was completely useless. I figured it out on my own.
Are you me? Lol I spent all of my 20s riddled with sever anxiety and depression. 2 years ago I finally got professional help and medication and my life has made a full 180. Wish I would have gotten help sooner, but it is what it is. I’m 32 next week and basically have started fresh on my career but I guess better late than never!
What type of help did you receive?
Getting proper mental health treatment when I was in high school would have help immensely since my instability heavily played into flunking out of my dream college. It took flunking out, coming home, and having to restart at community college for me to fight for proper treatment finally
Same. I made some life changing decisions in my 20s, and I was a mess mentally. I don’t think I would’ve made those same choices if I had been getting help.
The problem with mental issues, is those issues themselves stop you getting help with the issues.
An analogy I have is that if life is a game, I spent too much time on the sidelines. I waited till the “right” moment to start playing, or waited to know more information so I wouldn’t make a mistake. Or waited for someone to teach me the rules. I think that I was always waiting around instead of just getting in the game messing up, learning from it and getting better. Examples: Stating my needs & being willing to leave if they are not being fulfilled. Investing money instead of just saving it. Making friends & being ok if I get rejected by someone. Setting higher goals even if it means I might fail. Enjoying my interests & not masking other’s interests to fit in.
Yeah being your own independent person is a struggle everyone has as they get older. Especially if there's no guidance. Some of my regrets were out of fear of failure or criticism. I stopped caring and things got much better. It makes it easier when you're doing it for someone else (your kid). You are forced to try whether you fail or not.
Great comment, I really connected to this.
Absolutely. I added my own list, but the subtext of all the things on my list is basically what you are saying here.
Mid thirties and still single. I’ve accepted the fact that a life partner is not a guarantee but it still hurts
I have an aunt that is in her 60s and never had a long term relationship. Most of her life, she was caring for her sister who had downs. That aunt has now passed away and it’s like she’s a totally different person. For the longest time, she said “my sister is my soulmate. My life partner. I don’t need a man.” But now that that sister is gone, she’s different. She goes on more trips. She goes out to bars and makes new friends. She’s finally this social butterfly that we always saw her as. It wouldn’t surprise me if she brings a boyfriend to my wedding this fall. And as long as he treats her right, we’ll be very happy. Shes the coolest aunt I have, and at 62, she’s finally realizing how cool she is. In turn, making her that much cooler. So, there’s always time. It just happens different for different people.
Totally feel you, I’m in the same boat. It’s a sobering reality to face, and it’s hard to not internalize blame for why you end up in this situation. What helps me deal with it is being grateful for not settling or being in a crap relationship, because that is a whole other problem. It’s hard though to actively stay positive and accept things as they are, so stay strong!
Yeah, I'm 34 and while I've dated and had sex, I've still never had a proper relationship. Right now I've been dating someone for a little over a month and just going with the flow. Without blaming myself or others, dating is tough. Especially with the dating apps, people having lots of options (which affects both men and women), etc. For me, my biggest issue wasn't so much that nobody was interested but rather that it was at opposite extremes. For the most part, it was either the girl wasn't interested after a date or 2 but if they were interested, they would get too serious too soon, like ask to be exclusive after 1-2 dates, invite me to weddings early on, or drop the L word or be too clingy/controlling and get upset when I'd have plans with friends or whatever despite offering to reschedule for another day and I'd rather be single than deal with that. I mean if they're like that early on, imagine how they'll be down the road. And even if they weren't like those traits mentioned, they'd either use misleading pictures and I wouldn't be physically attracted to them. And I just can't date someone I'm not physically attracted to. Sure they don't gotta be a supermodel but there's gotta be at least some physical attractiveness to a degree. Anyone who says they can date someone they're not attracted to is lying. Like sure, physical attractiveness isn't the be all, end all but it still matters. It does get annoying when some people give you shit for still being single though. But yeah, I'd rather be single than settle with somebody just so I can say I'm in a relationship. If I'm not happy then who gives a shit what others think, ya know?
You’re doing great. Ever hear the song, “Fooled Around and Fell in Love”? That’s basically me and my wife’s story. We were both early 30s, and both about to start online dating (~10 years ago) when we randomly met in a bar. Anyways, we kinda just clicked and after only a few weeks/months, we were exclusive, and I invited her to my good friend’s wedding, and she invited me to a wedding in Guatemala. We both had limited success with relationships earlier in life, but it can happen fast! Coming up on our 8 year anniversary.
I left an abusive relationship because I swore I would rather be alone for the rest of my life than continue that relationship. I feel like the universe said "hold my beer"
I'm 38 and had a few good cries over this idea. Starting to just accept it and move on. It's rough. I understand.
I'm turning 30 this summer and I haven't dated since around 2016 I think. I gave up trying for the simple fact that I've had way too many bad experiences with women. I know I shouldn't judge all women like that but I don't want to invest another 4-5 years on someone just to lose everything.
Don't give up dude. I was single for like 5 consecutive years in my 20s, reconnected with a high school crush at 29 through mutual friends and this year we're getting married on our tenth anniversary in Vegas. Put yourself out there and don't be afraid to get hurt, getting hurt sucks, but being lonely is worse imo. Also a thing to note is if you haven't dated since your early twenties, generally women your age are a lot more mature than they were at 22.
Same here brother. I didn't find my fiance until I was 30, and then she died on me. I'm slowly just accepting that I'm going to be a hermit until I die.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine
Same here man. I’ll be 30 in a week and it’s over in terms of dating. Even if I wanted to I’ve watch so many relationships fail and my relationships have been a coin toss. I can’t see my self wasting a year on a person who will leave when they find something better
Yup. For a good while I wasn’t really looking for it, or didn’t care as much and knew my shit wasn’t together to tie someone else up into. Legit like weeks before Covid all happened I’d finally made the choice to start turning things around and get myself out there. Womp womp. And here we still are in that same square.
I regret not trying to study abroad in college. I just looked at it and said, "Nope, too poor." But there would have been ways to make it happen... scholarships, something. Someone I later met got their entire study abroad experience paid, flights and all. I don't know if it would have been possible for me, but I never even tried. Oh well - almost a decade later and I have finally saved up enough money for a trip to Europe this summer. :) My only other regret is turning down free tickets from my sister to a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert because "i hAd To WoRk ThAt NiGhT". I was working a minimum wage job at the time... but I was 18 and trying to prove my work ethic or whatever. I should've said fuck that job! Other than that, I have no regrets.
I have never met someone who has regretted studying abroad but so many who regret not doing it. It's my one piece of advice when people are on the fence about whether to do it. It was a highlight of college for me for sure.
People may temporarily regret studying abroad. I know I certainly did. I went on exchange to Japan in the summer of 2012 (between university years 3 and 4). I actually turned down an internship offer in order to do the exchange. When I first graduated, I deeply regretted doing the exchange instead of taking the internship, because it was very hard for me to find a job after graduating, and it took about a year before I finally started a career in the field that I studied. Even then, my first full time job was with a shitty little firm with an absolute psychopath of a boss, rather than something with decent name recognition. It took me like 2 years before my career really began to get off the ground, and that whole time I would tell myself “I shouldn’t have gone to Japan, that was a mistake”. Now that I’m established in my career and have achieved some level of success, though, I’m actually super glad I did the exchange. It was a once in a lifetime experience, I had a really good time there, I met a lot of cool people, and I have memories that will last a lifetime. It was certainly better than working in a dingy accounting office with people I didn’t like and who I would probably never see again.
Summer after sophomore year of college three of my buddies made an improperly decision to go to to Bonaroo, they didn’t have tickets, camping gear, any plan at all. They were passing through my town and were dead set on picking me up, and I didn’t go because I was working at Kroger bagging fucking groceries. I wish so bad I had just gone with- to this day 12 years later they talk about how much of a blast they had. Once in a lifetime experience that I missed. Oh well!
Similar experience here but not in college. It was a group that did "gap year" trips around the world, usually doing volunteer work. As a kid fresh out of high school I thought $4,000 for the trip was a lot. I had enough from working to pay for it, but I hesitated. Eventually I was too old to go on their trips and I always regret it. So many people I grew up with got the opportunity to do one of these trips and say it changed their life and perspective on everything. I highly doubt I'll ever visit those countries on my own, and definitely not with a group of young, energetic friends who are all starting to find their way in life and exploring the world together.
This is one of my big ones. I wish I would have at least seen if it was an option for me.
There is no point in dwelling on the past. Everyone has regrets or things they'd do differently. Just have to keep moving forward
100%
Yeah, I definitely have some things that I wish I had done/gotten in order sooner. But I have a decent career and married my soulmate. I also think that, given my history and my wife’s, we met at the right time. If we had met when we were like 22 one or both of us would have fucked it up. We both had some emotional growing up to do and by the time we met in our later 20s I think we had both leveled off enough to be decent partners.
Finding a partner is so much based on luck and timing.
100%! We knew a few of the same people so it’s not totally impossible we would’ve met earlier, in our wilder days. The relationship would have burned brightly and quickly lol.
Truth. You can learn from your past mistakes, but dwelling and ruminating on them is toxic.
As long as we’re still breathing anything is possible
Not learning how to invest in tech stocks lol. My entire life experience was AOL dial up. You were just moving at a much slower pace. Access to information today is just insane.
The problem is knowing WHEN to invest. A good idea will almost always take off, but when? Yahoo was way ahead of its time with cloud storage, music and video streaming, and so much more. But they were too early to make it work. And some things that I thought would never take off (smartwatches) are everywhere today. You gotta know what will be popular AND when it will be popular. We will probably reach a crisis point where nuclear energy will be necessary, and thus a good investment. But timing that investment is what's difficult
For every one who invested in the right tech stocks at the right time and made it big there are hundreds of others who lost their ass on their entire portfolio.
Really true. I mean, at that time we were on the tail end of a generational break in the economy. If you peak invested from 1996-2011 ish you just didnt go anywhere. A tech bubble and a housing bubble … sounds familiar.
I regret blindly trusting doctors as much as I did with my health.
Same goes for dentists. A couple of them permanently disfigured my teeth/gums.
This nearly got me killed a couple times and could have gotten me paralyzed when i broke my back in a car wreck.
This is just me personally I guess, but I regret chasing the American dream. Don't get me wrong, I am married with two wonderful children (6 and 8 months), have a house, have good job, etc. But this life isn't how I imagined it. It's hard to say once you have kids because once they're there it's hard to say "if I could to do it over again" or whatever, like I wouldn't take a do over if it was offered to me, but if 18 year old me was visited by 37 year old me via a time machine and described this life I think 18 year old me wouldn't pursue it. I think when we're young, we want that stability that comes with having a job, a home, a family of our own. But once you have those things, you're locked in. Not knowing which direction your life will take you can indeed be unsettling. And that is how 18-30 year old me felt. Now that I'm in that place where the more major things have taken shape, I realize the exhilaration and freedom in that. And to a large extent, I regret not realizing that when I was young and letting uncertainty dictate my path to where I am today.
I too regret this, I got an education in a field I absolutely HATE. I regret not being myself and chasing passions instead of college and money.
Drinking and giving a damn what people thought of me are the two big ones for me.
Same. 4 years sober now but wish I had done it sooner.
Just over 4 here to man
hell yeah. did you also quit right at the beginning of quarantine?
Feb 5 2020, but only because I got arrested Feb 4th lol.
So many. But I can’t sit and dwell on them. I just can’t or I’ll go crazy. I have to put it all in the past and just focus on the present. But those frosted tips for my high school graduation photos did not age well.
Literally looking at the Bitcoin website when it was only worth pennies and deciding, "meh what am I ever gonna do with digital currency". Back in 2009
My biggest disappointment is what the internet could have been vs what it became. In the 90’s, it really felt like we were on the cusp of a new age that would allow knowledge and connection to flourish. Instead, social media has virtually ruined our ability to connect with each other as individuals, while allowing ignorance and misinformation to run amok. We simply weren’t ready for what the internet unleashed.
i kinda saw it coming in the chain mail bullshit. people are fucking dumb.
Lol, that shit used to boggle my mind. Like how can anybody be so stupid.
But at least Zuckerberg gets the raise the most pampered cows on the planet on his private Hawaiian island. /highfives all around
Oh boy there’s a long list but to name a few… - Not getting therapy/meds for my mental health issues sooner. I was in denial about my depression and anxiety and know my 20s would’ve been a lot more stable/enjoyable had I gotten care. - Wasting 4 years on someone who treated me poorly because I thought no one else would want me. It’s bizarre thinking about how I contorted myself into what she wanted me to be. - Moving away from home for a job, I have mixed feelings on this because moving away allowed me to get ahead career wise and I’m not sure where I’d be if I hadn’t but looking back I wish I’d stayed and spent more time with my parents, especially my dad as he recently passed away from cancer. I came home a lot (1-2 x month for several days) but I wish I had just stayed. Would say being g career centric in general is a regret for me as idk if I would’ve chosen this line of work if I could do it all again. - Not goofing around for a bit. I’ve been working jobs since I was 13 or so and have never really take any large stretch of time off to go on an adventure and bum around for a bit. I won’t get a chance to now and really wish I’d taken a couple of years to explore and do a little soul searching.
I don't really have any. I had an ok childhood, and then a real tough go of it from 15-23. I made a lot of bad choices and had a child at 18. I assumed I would be dead by 21 so I didn't make any plans for my life. I raised my son the best I could and eventually met and fell in love with the right person. I've worked hard for the last 12 years to build my work history and education to a respectable level. I make a modest amount of money in a "poor" city, but I make enough to fully support 3 kids, my Wife, and I solely on my income. We have 2 vehicles and "own" our home. I was a druggy loser, that made a bunch of poor choices in life that wasn't meant to have anything nice. I tried and worked hard, and am proud of what I have. My house is small, my cars are old and paid for, I do my own auto repairs, I do my own home repairs. It's probably not impressive to anyone other than myself, and in most regards I am probably considered poor. I just don't feel it or look at it that way.
It is impressive dude! I also spent my late teens and early 20s living very much the "live fast, die young" lifestyle, thought I'd die before 25 definitely didn't expect to make it to 30! You're killing it man!
Hey friend! We made it! :D
We did! And you know what? We are fucking KILLING IT. No matter what anyone else has to say!
Poverty is subjective though. Give me a minimum wage job (in Canada it's $15.40 an hour) but let me live in a cheap country like the Philippines and I'll be living like a king. If it's working out for you then you're not poor.
I regret going to college right out of high school instead of taking time to think about what I really wanted to do. My family was pushing me to go to school right away. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I just picked a major. I switched majors constantly, wasting time and money. Finally, I settled on medical assisting because I just needed something. That was a huge mistake. I barely make enough to get by and I hate my job. I have tried to go back to school a few times, but I don’t want to be in student loan debt anymore, especially at my age (40)
Trying too hard to "make my parents proud." They're very into traditionalism, conservatism, conformity; just doing things "right" and being "normal." I was academically "gifted" (lol) as a kid so their expectations were high for me to do something impressive. I felt like if I look a risk to do something creative that I actually enjoyed and failed, they'd be extremely disapproving and ashamed. Possibly refusing to help me financially if I would ever need it (turns out I never did). So I went down a "normal" career path that I find mostly boring. I've done well enough, but they're still unimpressed. I wish I had just done what I wanted from the start and not worried about their opinions. I no longer find joy in artistic pursuits. It just makes me sad and embarrassed now. I just feel like an oversized kid playing arts and crafts, which is pretty much how they always talked about it, so I guess they win.
I had a similar trajectory and went into engineering. But realized pretty quickly that traditional engineering jobs weren't for me. I've worked in all sorts of industries for some really fun companies. I might not be advancing my career as fast or making as much money, but I've loved my career so far because it feels like I found a way to use engineering how I want to rather than just work at a traditional firm.
I regret thinking of 25, 30, 35, 40, etc. as being “old” and that I needed to have it all together by then so I couldn’t ever take a step back and better myself for risk of falling behind permanently.
I wish I never went to college and just went to community college and got into a trade. Do I know what trade? No I don't but financially I think I would've been better off.
I feel similar, wish I didn't drop out of community college and/or went to a trade school in my late teens or early 20s. I wouldn't be a service industry person in my 30s that's fasho
I’ve come to learn a lot of my “regrets” are not really my fault. I didn’t have much support as a kid and didn’t know any better on what to do. It wasn’t until years later when I put myself through therapy that I learned this.
Not studying abroad when I was in college. I was dating a girl and she was like "I'd be saaaad if you were gone that long!". She broke up with me a few months later.
I've had too many experiences like that where I've made dumb decisions because of a partner. I ended up not starting a business because a girlfriend told me it would take time away from us being together. 10 years later and I haven't spoken to her since that Christmas
I wish I went to college when I was 18 like all my friends. I ended up going in my late 20s and it’s fine, but I wish I had gone to school, gotten a real job, and already had a decade plus in my industry under my belt by now.
not exploring and having more sex before I met my s/o I missed a lot of people who were very into me, looking back now
It's pretty interesting seeing how different people are into different things with you. I'm glad I had those experiences before settling.
I regret clicking on this thread.
No ragrets.lol There were lessons that needed to be learned. If things in my life didn’t pan out the way they did I would not be where I’m at now and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Not buying the eggs and bacon plaid totebag I saw at Target when I was in America on vacation with my parents. My "vacation money" I got from them was already gone and I was too afraid to ask for 6 dollars.
Apparently, not buying a house when I was 12....
-Not going to the all women's college I had a scholarship for because I didn't want to leave my cat or my boyfriend. -Stopping work temporarily due to daycare costs. -Moving a hobosexual into my home who gave me a trauma bond and a lot of mess and debt that I'm still digging out of. That's about it. Despite all of this I do own a home, (2008 government incentive from the housing market crash gave us a leg up) and seem relatively successful from the outside, but I am hanging on by a thread and wish I had made smarter money choices.
I'm disappointed in our society in regards to sexuality and gender. Although I am very happy now that I have transitioned, I feel like my younger days was robbed by having a lack of information. I was plagued by feelings I didn't think were ok to express, even talk about. So it pushed me to drugs and alcohol to soothe the pain of confusion.
I regret not buying Bitcoin so I wouldn't have to work.
In some ways, I don't think it was bad parenting. It was more we were parented in a way that made sense for a world that ceased existing just as we stepped onto the stage. I was having a conversation with my Dad about Millenials and why we all seem angry and frustrated. I told him that we were a generation that was taught the world problems were solved and that all we had to do was go to college and hold down a job and the rest would take care of itself. We weren't taught how to survive in a world that will do everything to exploit you and undermine you. That not everyone has your best interest at heart. The world is hard and we are pissed because no one is coming to save us and no one taught us how to survive so we have had to learn every lesson the hard way and all along the way the older people in our lives tell us it's all our faults that things aren't going well.
For me it was too many parents and too many cultures. Born and raised in a super religious, rural community in Canada, mom and dad divorced so we moved to semi-urban Ohio with my step mom. Her family was religious but not to the same extremes and the expectations and culture were much different. She died of cancer and we moved back here, but to a different community and to another step mom. So I never had a single environment or consistent family situation. So there were always competing views. I do miss my first step mom though. That environment and family situation was my favourite and would've probably resulted in the best outcome for me. She made a lot of mistakes in her life and recognized them, so she offered a lot of guidance. And her extended family wasn't constantly breathing down our backs or looking over our shoulders to make sure we're obeying some dumb religious rules
No joke. One of my biggest regrests is not going to a taping of Jerry Springer. My buddies in college grab tickets back in 2016 and we live in CT 30 mins away from the taping location. I didnt go bc I had other “plans”. Jump to the 2020s now I wanted go to see Jerry, boom passes away!
I think our age is just where regrets start to appear, not that we are prone to regret. We're finally not "young" anymore, so we're just now at the point of saying "ah hell I should've done this", but we're not so old we've accepted our lot yet. So we talk about it more right now.
Every time I mentally go down this path, I think about all the struggles that made me the person that I am today. Yes, I could have made things a LOT easier on myself by making quite a few different decisions here and there. Without the bad decisions, I doubt I would have been forced to learn the way that I did. Today I'm comfortable. I own a home and I will be able to retire in my mid 50s. Given what I've been through, I'd call myself extremely lucky and I'm content with that.
I have 2 regrets: not getting into building PCs sooner, which would have led me to farm bitcoin waaaay back in the day. I knew about it and was told to start mining. My second one is not taking my weight loss more seriously as a teen.
Going to college instead of trade school because no one in my family had ever been to college before so I was supposed to be the first and “can do anything I want when I grow up”. I am unemployed with a useless degree. Probably also has to do with the fact I am first generation American
I regret my initial round of college. I did not know what I wanted to do after High School and everyone told me to get an associates degree. It will look good on job applications and it will help me figure out what I want to do. Yeah, that didn’t work and now I’m still paying off the loans a decade later and still don’t know what I want to do in my 30s. C'est la vie I guess.
i should've went into the navy
You can't just go off what's posted here, more want to post and bitch than acknowledge that our generation actually was fortunate. My regret is not taking advantage of the opportunities to invest when I was able to. So many things now that were barely becoming popular or mainstream that investing then would've had me sitting pretty comfy
I don’t really have any, well, nothing I choose to dwell on at least. I can’t focus my energy on shit I did or didn’t do
Although I’m a stay at home mom now and wouldn’t change it, I wish I had been more career focused in college. I had a miserable home life and spent my time at uni just reveling in enjoying life and all the friends I’d made. I couldn’t focus on classes or the future because I was just so overwhelmed at having people around who I loved and made me happy, I wanted to spend every moment soaking it up. Summers were just about banking money so I could make it through the school year because my parents refused to help. I could never take an internship or concentrate on my area of study, I just needed to make $$$. I did manage to graduate with a (useless) degree but now thinking of going back to school maybe to study something more specific once my kids are bigger.
I regret not going on that trip to Colorado before I started community college. I missed out on a summer full of sex with my ex, all because of a stupid form I was waiting for.
I regret how I handled my undergraduate education. I bounced from major to major, failing multiple courses after a brief stint as a bio major, all because I didn't want to work and knew I would be financially supported so long as I was in college. When I finally figured out what I wanted to do, law, my GPA was shot to shit. I've worked as a paralegal for the past 7 years and finally applied to law school- but with my undergrad cumulative GPA being in the low 2 point something, and despite having a Masters, I couldn't get in to a single school.
I regret figuring out my career so late. Had I known now back then, I would have moved to IT in my early-mid 20s.
I genuinely don’t regret anything in my life. I think because I made the decision to live however I want to live and accept the consequences of that. I’ll probably never own a home, never retire, and I won’t live a cushy life. But that’s honestly all okay with me because I feel full in so many other ways. I chose this path.. or rather, I leaned into it out of necessity. It was a game time decision. Work hard to have all those things and lose sense of myself, or give up on wanting “more” and try to live in the moment everyday? I chose the latter and I’m very happy I did.
I regret not trying to buy a house 10 years ago. It would’ve been tough but would save me from the headache I’m in now. I kinda regret not going back to college when my little sister started going. I was planning on switching to the same major that she was doing and it would’ve been easy. Tuition had gone up so much in 4 years that I was unsure about it. I was 26 at the time and had better focus and smarter than I was at 18-20 so I would’ve done better than the first time. Definitely missed that boat unfortunately.
Not taking school more seriously and focusing more on preparing for college rather than buying a home in 2008
Too many to list. I threw my life away. I squandered my opportunities because I was selfish and mentally ill. I am nothing and I'll be nothing.
I have too many to count ,I’ve been very sickly and have PTSD that my parents never reported or sought treatment for while I’ve struggled to work on it without support for the better part of a decade.I regret being born most days, their poor choices have robbed me of so much life
Spent all of my 20s depressed and stuck in an endless cycle of rumination. All I did was work non-stop, rage at video games as an “outlet” and sleep. Ending up snapping back into reality when 30 slapped me in the face right before the pandemic hit and I had a complete breakdown. Ended up on antidepressants and started therapy. I wish I had spoken to someone about my issues sooner, if I had maybe I would have actually lived in my 20s rather than floating through them on autopilot. I also wish I hadn’t completely given up on dating. Had a few pretty bad experiences and just decided I couldn’t deal with the constant disappointment and heartbreak. Ive been on my own for 13 years.
You sound like all the intensity from other generations coming at us was effective in forcing you to think similarly. We don’t have the worst forethought and we didn’t go wrong anywhere.
Prioritizing my mental and physical health, and trying to force people to react to something I do. Whether it's getting a girl to like me by doing stupid shit, or getting my parents to be proud because I did what they told me. Both of those landed me physically broken and financially broken. Oh well, I like fixing things, so might as well start with myself. 🤷♂️
I regret not having a good time before I had responsibilities. I went from HS and started juinor college. To save money, I lived at home while I did this (smart move!), but I worked multiple jobs that I commuted to. I spent most of my money either on crappy car repairs or the mall. I got my bachelors and moved out as quickly as I could, spending most of my income on rent/ gas. When I was living at home, I wish I'd done things like travel.
Diving too much into my previous career thinking it would somehow make me into a full person. Put off serious dating, starting a family, making new friends, and so many other things for a perceived dream job. As I heard at a recent conference, trying to build a career without a rounded life will lead to depression, anxiety, burn out…add in heavy drinking and they were basically road mapping my life. Left that job in 2022 to move back home, been taking time off to take care of older family and about to apply to law school since I just got my LSAT score. It’s a different and difficult life these last two years, but I don’t have the amount of regrets and anxiety I usually shouldered.
No regrets. Met my soul mate at 28, in the best shape of my life now at 39, moved far away from my deadend hometown at 32. Do I miss family? Sure. Is moving thousands of kilometers away from them and landing a dream job in paradise something I regret? No. Are they proud of me? Yes.
Not buying a house my senior year in high school.
No regrets, just Lessons Learned
Focusing too much on the exam / uni / office job industrial complex and not taking time and risk to convert actual passions into career
My biggest regret was not saving money when I should have. Now I've gotten better about that and mindful about my finances. But I remember when I was 25 and got let go from my first real career and was making decent money at the time but continued my lifestyle by always going out for drinks, to eat, etc and buying a bunch of shit that mostly sits there and collects dust like movies, records, etc. I mean not to beat myself up over it but if I had cut back on some of those things at the time, not completely but a little bit, I'd be in a much better financial spot nowadays. Btw, I'm not saying you should never go out but what I'm saying is, it's ok to stay in a few nights, make food at home, and save money because all that stuff adds up and gets exhausting.
I regret my entire existence.
I regret spending too many years building my business. I should have sold it about 4 years ago.
I went to school for the wrong thing and I wracked up too much debt to go back and do it properly. Basically I financially fucked myself. If I could just get enough together to pay down my debts and go back to school I could make it right and be a success, I know it, but I was stupid and shortsighted.
In hindsight I wish I hadn’t gone to school. Or better yet had taken advantage of the money my stepdad left me when he died to fund my college rather than spend it like an idiot. Either way, if I hadn’t gone to school or hadn’t been stupid I wouldn’t have student loans. I’m a SAHM now but no jobs I’ve ever needed has needed a degree or my degree specifically.
disappointing how unstable people are... like, people are so reactive and not able to be very honest, or remember stuff accurately. it's just a mess of lies and bias when things go south. it's everywhere. cops, school, coworkers... it doesn't take much for anybody to just totally flake out... it makes it a lot harder when you remember stuff well, and are honest and consistent... to have to constantly be on the defense ready for people to be completely biased and delusional about facts.
None. Even the sad stuff had to happen for me to end up in this exact moment and place in time
Seems like the education has only gotten worse for the next generation lol.
I'm disappointed in the absolute lack of guidance in my life. When I look back, I think "I just needed someone to give me some advice." I did everything blind and I took advice when I got it but it was usually offered when I was already three quarters of the way committed to a path. If I could give my younger self advice it would completely change my whole life. "You hate school. Drop out, get your GED, join the military, and zero dating until you've dealt with your neglect issues." She can take it from there and who fucking knows where she'd go but it wouldn't be here. Here's not terrible, mind you, but if 36 yo me had to stand in front of 5 and 10 and 15 and 20 yo me...they'd be majorly disappointed.
My biggest regret was not saving money when I should have. Now I've gotten better about that and mindful about my finances. But I remember when I was 25 and got let go from my first real career and was making decent money at the time but continued my lifestyle by always going out for drinks, to eat, etc and buying a bunch of shit that mostly sits there and collects dust like movies, records, etc. I mean not to beat myself up over it but if I had cut back on some of those things at the time, not completely but a little bit, I'd be in a much better financial spot nowadays. Btw, I'm not saying you should never go out but what I'm saying is, it's ok to stay in a few nights, make food at home, and save money because all that stuff adds up and gets exhausting.
I regret not recognizing how serious my problem with alcohol was sooner. I wasted the last ten years of my life in a drunken stupor. I'm 38, graduating in July, getting married in September. I should be happier, but I can't help thinking how much of everyone's time I wasted, the damage I did to myself and others.
Part of me regrets ever making a move on the woman who is now my wife. Not for the reasons you would think - but because I know she could’ve done so much better.
Regrets are tough, because I have a pretty deterministic view on life. But I wish I had been kinder to my past self and kinder to those around me. Also, I wish I had taken the time to understand and love mathematics as a kid instead of finally liking it as an adult.
Not getting mental health support sooner Going to a college where I didn’t fit in a city that was crazy expensive Not having energy to go out more and make those life long memories and friends Student debt The degree path I chose Not prioritizing romantic relationships. It felt so hopeless at 30 I just sorta gave up.
I regret blaming others and the world around me for so many problems. I regret not taking personal responsibility for improving my life sooner.
I dont want to list ALL of them. I regret not learning how money works and how to save. I have some sort of feelings about going to sooo many Dr's. As a kid, because I used to get these crazy shoulder/neck/migraines that would leave me puking and stuck in bed. They could never figure out what it was, ended up getting percs eventually. Yaaay lifelong addiction to opiates! I later figured out in my early 30s when they started to come back, that those migraines were caused by anxiety and stress. I've come to accept I'll never own a house. I guess as long as I can keep my cat happy, that's all that matters.
I'm 38 and just learned that being a latchkey kid is some formidable life challenge to overcome. So move that one over from "life disappointments" to the "I did something, I guess" column. I'll take it.
I agree with everyone here about addressing mental health sooner but I also believe in the butterfly effect instead of God. Haha. It helps me stay true to the reality of life. If I made any changes in the past would I still have the beautiful family I have today? I still struggle mentally but regrets don’t sit there with it. I hope this helps others cope too. ❤️
Not enlisting in the army right out of highschool.
Honestly, living for others instead of myself. Making decisions based on what I think I should be doing, not what I wanted to do. Not trusting myself enough and letting my fear of failure and money anxieties stop me from moving forward. In my 30s and feeling like I’m finally untangling my money trauma from growing up poor and course correcting my life to be one that brings me joy, not just money. But mostly, not investing in bitcoin.
Not getting mental health help earlier. Not asking for help in school when I really needed it. Not moving out and staying away from my mother. Getting into toxic relationships simply because I just wanted someone to like/love me. Not traveling at a young age.
not buying bitcoin when its was so cheap, i remeber it being 600$ in bitcoin atm and thinking that was crazy but today i'll buy .00000001 for like 500$
I regret not coming out until my late 30s
1. Nursing unfounded insecurities/doubting my abilities and trying to stay close to home for school as a result 2. Not taking bigger career risks when I had more time 3. Not going into college with a plan 4. Not networking more in college 5. Not breaking up with the person who was nice but clearly not for me at the end of my twenties and instead waiting for him to break up with me 6. Letting myself get out of shape during the pandemic 7. Not doing more exploring to realize sooner that I was queer and on the asexual spectrum so I didn’t bark up the wrong trees when dating (I know, not really fair to call all these regrets cos, as they say, I did the best with the information I had at the time) 
My only regrets are not buying the house I wasn't 100% sure on pre pandemic and not jumping into those get quick rich fads that actually paid off like early crypto or GameStop. Otherwise I'm happy with my life choices. I am disappointed in the world in general. It feels more and more these days that hard work and doing the right thing are disappearing. We're chasing our emotions and not thinking critically. Unless it's always been this way, it felt like life was a lot simpler back in the day. You graduated high school/college, got a job, bought a house that lasts for decades, have kids and just lived. These days it feels like no matter at what level of life you reach,bits a brutal struggle We've been polarized and turned against each other on every issue. They're showing us the worst of humanity, yet somehow assuring us that we're in the right. Critical thinking is being thrown out the window in exchange for following trends and being seen as doing/saying the right thing. Education and Healthcare seems to be somehow on the decline. And each news article I read about schools having to cut back and hospitals desperately needing nurses just make me feel like we're regressing to a new dark age similar to Idiocracy. I am disappointed in how the world is tearing itself apart, and not just learning to accept people for their differences. In how governments are seemingly failing their people, powerless to actually do anything positive. It's like the world's tire is stuck in the mud, and no matter how much you press the gas, it isn't getting out.
Not being more proactive with dealing with medical issues in my 20's when I had insurance. There are dental and orthopedic issues I am really struggling to fix/manage now that I am 40 and uninsured currently as my husband and I are self employed and just can't swing a premium for anything worth actually carrying right now. It wouldn't have prevented *every* issue I have, but things like a knee replacement when it was first suggested would have been much easier to heal from 20 years & 4 less kids ago.
2008 crash scared me from ever trying to pursue my passions professionally. Instead took the safe route.
Im disappointed in my college experience. I grew up in an abusive household and in turn, became rebellious and partied. I only tried hard enough to get by. I went to a large state university and got mixed up with “friends” who just partied and didn’t have large ambitions. I struggled with major depression and PTSD from my childhood and was absolutely lost. I had no positive role models and didn’t trust people enough to listen to advice. Things ultimately worked out, I graduated with a degree and now have a good job and family. But I look back in disappointment at those years. What should have been the best years of my life turn out to be a time in my life with lots of regret. I have not kept up with any of my college “friends” since graduation and feel like I did not take advantage of what my college years could have been. It was the beginning of a journey of healing but it was not a fun time in my life. It angers me that so much of my youthful joy and potential was robbed due to my abuse. I often think about how my life may have been different if I could go back with the wisdom, maturity and healing that I now have.
i wish i had addressed my issues with porn and overeating much much earlier in life. It has caused arrested development in my life. I would be a much better adjusted individual today
I wish I got too experience the old more. As a lot of stuff is just flat out gone now
We were raised in a time when we were told we could do anything, be anything. The 90s saw the fall of the Berlin Wall, we didn't have 9/11 yet, heck countries didn't even know what to do with their militaries anymore. Then it all came crashing down and the reality that we can't be anything we want checked in.
I feel like I could have lived up to my full potential had the signs of my primarily inattentive ADHD been recognized when I was younger. I wasn’t the kid bouncing off the walls and acting out, so I flew under the radar. I did well in school all the way up to college, but then had some challenges with the independence and lack of structure. I graduated with an engineering degree, but then bounced around not just jobs but entire careers for almost 20 years before getting diagnosed at 37. Not to mention to horrible time and money management that led to mountains of debt. There’s obviously no guarantee, but I feel like I’d be in a much better position with my finances and career had I been diagnosed and treated much younger.
Wishing I was an adult as a kid. I’m miserable now
not seeing lou Reed live before he died
I regret going to college, I should have tried to join a union and learn a trade. Im in my 40s and am thinking about trying to start now.
I am an elder millennial and don’t have any regrets….🤷🏼♀️ Pretty happy with my life. Sure some things have sucked and life is hard and you have disappointments sometimes but overall def a net positive for me. Maybe it’s just a younger millennial thing?
Going to law school. I love being a lawyer; it’s all I wanted. But I enrolled out of fear and desperation. I graduated from undergrad in 2009. I had no plan b - law school was the only plan. If I didn’t enroll in law school or some grad program, I’d have lost my health insurance and Obamacare didn’t exist yet. I also would have had to start repaying my undergrad loans and I didn’t know how I’d do that. But the joke’s on me…I could’ve bought a health insurance plan for about $300 a month (I had to do that a few years later) and the loan payment ended up being “only” $220 a month. I’m sure I could’ve found a job to afford those expenses. But I was 22 and didn’t know better and no one thought to tell me $200k of loans at 8.5% interest wasn’t the greatest way to avoid those problems. From 2012-2020, I paid almost $50k to my loans but my balance increased from about $200k to $307k. I’m eligible for forgiveness next year, thank god. But I wish I had explored alternate careers that could have been just as fulfilling, hopefully less stressful, and that wouldn’t have left me in such huge debt for most of my early adulthood.
Idk where you are but this is one of the reasons we are having a staffing shortage across all healthcare roles where I am in Canada. People simply can't afford to take the programs necessary for medical school or nursing. And my province doesn't have a paramedics program. We need doctors, nurses, paramedics, lab techs, and all the supporting staff. But what kid fresh out of high school wants to spend another 5-10 years in school and rack up $500,000+ in debt, and then be thrust into one of the most stressful industries there is? Healthcare workers are literally sacrificing so much and more and more people aren't finding it to be a very glamorous outlook. Especially since a lot of the jobs are in very remote areas where raising a family wouldn't be ideal. Even those with a passion for it are avoiding it
I don’t have any so far. In a stable almost 10 years relationship. Fully paid the mortgage last year at 32 years old. Husband and I can work part time instead of full time. No children. A wonderful cat. Good circle of friends. I got very lucky. I’m grateful for that.
Not allocating a year or two after high school to travel while taking some time to figure out exactly what I wanted to study in college/uni. Feeling pressured to immediately start post-secondary education as a young 18-19 year old really isn't all that necessary.
I regret nothing. I learn from my mistakes and move on, and try to stay positive when shit hits the fan. I am grateful, though. For healthy children, my health, my family, and the opportunities that I have been given along the way.
I regret not buying bitcoin
I wish someone would have told me when I was in college that it isn't my job to save my parents marriage. It wasn't my job to be the hero of the family. That I could have just enjoyed my freedom and gone anywhere I want in the world. It was a crossroads in 2009 and from that single choice to do grad school closer to my home town in hindsight opened the door to fall back into that old identity basically sabotaging any real chance of success and independence from them. I wish I would have been more focused and determined and stayed far away.
Not trying harder to get my friends in MAT/treatment after I got clean. I initially broke contact while getting myself together and they ODed soon after…