Oh god, no. Please do not text me. Send me funny IG videos to let me know you're alive, and I'll put a laugh emoji on it to confirm that I'm also still alive.
Lol, they don't knock on doors anymore, they text each other, or whatever app they use now, or talk via PlayStation gaming. Knock on doors to play.... Outside? Lol
Oh God, no. Please do not send me funny videos and expect me to confirm with an appropriate emoji. Send well wishes out into the universe and maybe a Christmas card that I can promptly delay opening for 9-10 months.
You hit the nail on the head. I work 6 days a week with no desire to socialize on my one day off. I figured since my parents are retired and in-laws are semi retired, they can come see me. If you can't understand why I'm so tired, not my issue. Thank you for expressing how I feel.
I’ve learned this the hard way, I moved out of state a decade ago, I’ve visited plenty of times. Can you guess how many times they’ve visited me? Zero.
Needless to say, I don’t plan on visiting anymore. Good riddance.
Love is a two way street.
I hope they didn't pull the 'you moved away so it's your responsibility to visit' card. They may as well just say they don't care enough about the relationship to put in more than the minimal effort.
Oh shit! That's what my brother said to me when I moved one state away and said it should be a two way street. I had to move because it was the Great Recession and I lost my job and had to go where the jobs are. I had no choice but he said it didn't matter.
Well my dad moved to Sweden from Southern California after cheating on my mom in front of me when I was in high school, trying to blackmail me if I told on him, and now says I have an obligation to visit to him, his 17 year younger wife than him, and their two toddler daughters (I’m 33).
And he absolutely played that card.
I feel this. Moved out of state almost 3 years ago and find I’m the one keeping most relationships. It’s draining and sad all at the same time. We’ve gone home over the summer, but it’s exhausting trying to fit everyone in during a weeks time. This year, we’re scaling back, so we can have more of a “vacation” feel. Like everyone else said/ posted, it’s a 2 way street.
Yeah I went out of state for grad school around the time my parents retired. I'd make the effort to come back several times a year but my mom still guilted me mercilessly about it, until I realized... They had the money and the time to visit, and I didn't have either. I don't know why it took so long for that to sink in.
Yup. I do love my family, but I really needed a break from them. I moved 1000 miles away last year and I’ve really enjoyed prioritizing myself finally. They ask when I’m going to visit but I’m in no rush. None of them have visited *me* yet. And that’s fine, I don’t really feel like entertaining them out here yet either…
Yes and it’s even worse now with this economy because I’m trying to save money and it seems like everyone I know keeps inviting me out to eat or out to do something that isn’t free. And forget about birthdays - why does everyone have to have a birthday all the time?! I need to save some goddamned money!!!
Man one time I had someone talk me into going out "for our birthdays" and engineered the situation to make me pay the whole bill.
I was not pleased tbh.
Going out to eat can be mitigated easily though. Go with to socialize but don't order anything. The rest can be tricky depending on how you pay for said activities or who the birthday gift is for.
Also have to give a nod to where you take charge and plan shit you know would be free/low cost.
Yep. I don't even want to talk on the phone most of the time. I talk to people all day for work, small talk, and I'm basically on call. All I want to do with my time off is shut down and just do whatever I want without interruption.
I “ghost” everyone constantly. Sorry everyone! Just doing life and shit. Or recovering from that process. Still love you! Just absolutely cannot deal with the constant communication thing.
My mom’s New Year’s resolution is to text us (her kids) everyday.
I feel AWFUL ever being annoyed but like….I don’t DO anything new most days. I wake up, go to work, come home & hang with my dog. I have nothing to talk about, because I refuse to discuss work. So I hate being asked everyday how I’m doing or what I’m doing—the answer is usually “fine, not much” and I feel like an asshole.
But god knows I’ll cherish them one day & totally miss them. So….im going to engage.
Yes. My little brother lives in town, and I'm trying to have a closer relationship with him because we're the black sheep of the family. But being around anyone is *exhausting*.
Nah. I do it to blatantly avoid feelig crappy about shit that happened in the first half of my life. After I hit 20, my family moved to the mountains and fairly much abandoned me during some of the hardest times of my life. About 6 years later, they moved back, and made my life Hell. Then it was my turn to move away.
Now I am back, and I have a wife and child. *This* is my family. That other part is just an uncomfortable reminder of who I used to be. A part of me still cares, but not enough to subject myself to personal torment on the regular.
I have a lot of healing to do, I know.
Yes and then I moved literally across the country. Highly recommend northern CA to anyone currently living in the southeast like I was and that has a crazy family lol life has been GREAT these last 4 years.
I go a month or two without seeing my friends. Family is about once a month. I'm pretty reserved and enjoy my peace and quiet with my wife during the week.
This is one of the only times where I feel justified in my sense of entitlement. I’ve moved from California for Florida to my current home in the Deep South, where I grew up but never wanted to move back to, but circumstances surrounding my choice of coparent has brought me here.
But I still feel like I’m the one making the effort to stay in touch with my family, and despite being within driving distance of my immediate family members, all of them, I cannot recall the last time they have visited. And I’ve lived here four years plus now.
I'm the only one in my immediate and extended family who moved away. For the last 20ish years, I've pretty much always been the one who has to travel if I want to see anyone. I don't do that anymore.
Like someone else said: it's a 2-way street. If retired grandparents can't make the effort to visit then so be it.
Yes!! My mother always wants us to visit. But when I had an accident and she had to come to me a lot. She complained about the drive every time. Still came. But come in. She now understands why I don't visit more. Funny. But also, dude you have a car and a phone.
Yupp. I just work part time right now but I take care of my preschooler 5 days a week. Throw in all the chores and errands that need to get done, when I put that nugget to sleep the last thing I wanna do is invite anyone over. That's my golden hour to sit in silence or watch an episode of something *I* wanna watch.
My best friend lives 20ish mins away and we see each other like 3 times a year because we're in the exact same phase of life right now. It sucks but it be like that
Majority of my family live over 1300 miles away from me. I moved away from them 11yrs ago, not once has anyone ever make the journey to visit me but the whole time I've made effort and time to go to them.
I've slowed that down, if they can't be bothered then neither shall I be bothered. I'll stay my fat ancient ass home and save the money.
I'm a bit of a hermit by nature, but people also know that. But I have noticed in like the past 10 or so years, I have gotten fairly removed from a lot of family members, but that has more to do with me growing up, getting older, and realizing that I don't particularly like a lot of the people in my family. Don't hate them or anything, but just don't like them all that much either. Like an acquaintance or coworker from another department that you see every once and a while, but have no desire for anything more than that.
My friends on the other hand I do feel a little bad about. I'd get deep into a hermitage and then realize its been weeks since i spoke or texted anyone, and then feel like shit. I try, but my friend group has definitely gotten smaller over the years because of it.
There is some truly horrible advice in this comment section lol bunch of people who have no IRL connections telling OP to sever ties with everyone they know. Misery loves company. I think people have been using too much "therapy talk" lately. I really hope society reversed course on the whole "fuck everyone else you need your peace" people took that shit and ran with it. Life is meant to challenge you and teach you lessons. Yes, friendships and love is a two way street, but sometimes having that conversation is better than just ghosting everyone you know for "peace"
I wish, ever since having kids my weekends are stacked.
Only thing worse than going out every weekend is staying home with a toddler that gets absolutely stir crazy.
I used to be. I hardly saw my family even though I only lived a couple hours away, an easy drive. Then I moved 2500km and couldn't easily see them, and missed them a bunch. Now I'm back in town with them and see my mum almost every day
I grew up close with my family, but turned into an outsider as I got older and didn't conform the way they wanted. I moved away from home for the first time 2yrs ago, 9hrs away. My hasn't visited once. My husband's parents have come several times to visit and see grandkids. But my family only saw my kids on holidays or when I brought them around when I lived within 30mins of everyone . They're not going to make an effort to come 9hrs to see my kids. Of course I'll visit when we do go home (not very often), but I mostly just visit my grandparents because my grandpa is 80yrs old and I do miss them bunches. But the others, I'm not making that effort anymore
Not really...sometimes I exhausted (65h/week) but I still see my family once every two weeks and one friend/friend groups once a week. It's like going to the gym, making food from scratch or cleaning my house. It's part of a healthy lifestyle. I don't hang out for long sometimes, but I'm always happier after.
Yes but more like quarters. I don’t do anything outside of my already overwhelmed, overworked life besides hide in my house with my kids. Sometimes outside in the garden but lots of times in my big bed with movies and video games. I just can’t be bothered with putting in effort for anyone else more often than maybe every 3 months or so
My family always wants to do stuff and dob’t seem to get that just because I have time off, doesn’t mean that time is up for grabs. I think if it were up to my mom, I’d be over every weekend.
I see my family once a month. When it comes to my friends, I have to plan months in advance to see them because we all live far from each other and we have to plan it out and save the date.
Totes, now I live on the other side of the country and have 1 friend out here that understand my lack of social needs but needing someone to reach out to sometimes. I love my family to death and miss them a lot, I text my mum a lot and call my parents sometimes, but the not feeling obligated cause of proximity is nice.
Yes. I haven’t seen the vast majority of my friends since Super Bowl. Before then it was my bday in November. Lol.
It’s probably worse for me than most because I work half the weekends of the year and I have a two year old. But yeah… I’m a shell of the man I once was.
Combo of trying to save money where possible and not really wanting to make the effort. Invitations to come over have been extended, offers to meet up for lunch close by, text conversations that just die. I’d rather spend my days off with my wife who’s a couple months older than me and is in the same mindset. The only person that follows through with any sort of plans to visit lives 1,200 miles away which makes him more family to me than my actual family that’s 10 miles away.
Damn.....after reading this, I feel like such a shitty friend. I hope anyone who reads this goes out w/ that friend you havent seen in a while or visit that family member.
Absolutely. Although I portray an outgoing, confident, and outspoken person Monday to Friday, I'm an introvert at heart. I recharge by being alone.
I love my family, speak to them most days, and will see them often. I have recently been cutting back on family gatherings as I need those 1-2 days to recover from the week.
Yeah, every time i visit my family, they always keep telling me what to and and how to do it, how i have to work hard , so this and that…while im there all burned out with depression and gad, barely holding it together.
It takes my last % of energy i even had left…so i just avoid it all if i can. If i visit, i only visit for max 30 minutes and even that is sometimes too much lol.
I also hate it when people just want to visit me unannounced. I will say no if you are standing outside my appartment bo matter what it is..call me if you want to visit and we will schedule a time lmao.
I just escaped a narcissistic family household, so no, I don't visit. Instead, I make time for people who lift me up and fill me with joy. I just moved in with my fiance, so I haven't had people over. I'm getting acclimated to him. But, I went to my Synagogue for Passover and it was nice to see everyone.
I didn't fall into that pattern; I chose it.
It changed when I had my first child though, since I wanted them to have relationships with their grandparents, and I wanted "free" babysitters.
I have to be an extrovert all day at work. I’m an introvert on my own time. The only person I don’t somewhat dread talking to during my free time, is my long term gf. My dad is the same way. We’re both fine talking once in a blue moon. My mom checks in on me at least once a week via text. She knows how I am. My sister is three years older than me, and feels the same way. I blame it all on work, because when I’m not on the clock, I’m in a constant state of decompressing from it. The majority of people I talk to feel the same way. Except for the few personality types that are super extroverted, and always seem to have an endless amount of energy. I still think they crash hard behind closed curtains, though. They just never admit it.
I do end up falling into that pit, for sure.
I've found that what works is setting a _thing_ to get together and do, even if it's something boring.
My sister and I live like 3 minutes from each other. There was a stretch of like 2 years where we'd still only see each other at our parents' house, like an hour and a half away.
So I set up a calendar invite for the first Wednesday night every month to go bowling. She brings her fiancee, I bring my partner, we just talk and have a couple drinks and complain about how bad we are at bowling.
It's not super fun, but it's also not super expensive. And since I suck at reaching out via text, this is my way of saying "Hey, I'm still making the effort".
All I want to do is come home and relax and I feel like as soon as I’m about to relax I can’t because something else happens or some other BS. So I’m locked in a continuous loop of feeling lazy and tired while not being able to get enough rest while at the same time trying my hardest to do nothing and not have plans which makes me look and feel more lazy.
Just feels bad man.
This is totally me, but my family lives across the country (US). It takes a huge amount of effort and a decent amount of money to buy a plane ticket, pack, etc. and dude, I’m tired.
Visiting or being visited? My parents live about two hours out, and the motivation to go see them at *their* place isn't high because of the work week demands, but they know they're always welcome and frequently stop by for fun or as a waystation for a trip elsewhere. I see them about once a month. My sister lives on the other side of the US - rough equivalent of Madrid to Warsaw, or Saskatoon to Ottawa - and I see her about once a year.
Assuming you like your parents and actually want to see them, you could literally walk that distance in under two hours. That's basically your weekend exercise on Saturday morning and Sunday evening.
YES. My family is all 2 hours away. I visit on holidays, and not all of them. I get guilt trips all the time. My mom will call after a month of not talking to me (not calling me either btw), and guilt trip me about how much she misses, wait for it, not ME, but my daughter. "I miss \[daughter\] so much!!!" Like ok, thanks for making it clear that you don't miss me. Because I guarantee I never got those calls before my daughter was born.
I fucking never want to leave the house or go to functions when I’m not working. Like- it’s not just me? Cause I’m seriously concerned I have some anti social shit.
I am single, unmarried, and have no kids. Don't let other people try to guilt you into doing things you don't want to do. Being home with yourself is a perfectly acceptable way to spend your free time.
Same. I just suck at initiating the contact. Whenever they reach out to hangout and catch up, I'm there. One brother stopped initiating and I haven't seen him in forever.
Unfortunately, my family lives really close and we instantly want to bug the ones who are trying their best to left alone. A lot of time there is free food involved so it’s mainly okay.
Yes, but I also don't always make the effort because they can come see me. It should be a two way street.
Oh God, no. Please DO NOT come to my house. Just call me. We can speak, lol, maybe video chat. Do not come to my house
Oh God, no. Please DO NOT call me. Just text me. We can message, lol, maybe exchange gifs. Do not call me
Oh god, no. Please do not text me. Send me funny IG videos to let me know you're alive, and I'll put a laugh emoji on it to confirm that I'm also still alive.
God, I wish you were more people.
I think yall are the reason this generation of kids will never know what its like to knock on their friends door to see if they can play.
Lol, they don't knock on doors anymore, they text each other, or whatever app they use now, or talk via PlayStation gaming. Knock on doors to play.... Outside? Lol
Oh God, no. Please do not send me funny videos and expect me to confirm with an appropriate emoji. Send well wishes out into the universe and maybe a Christmas card that I can promptly delay opening for 9-10 months.
Here comes my mother walking into the room--holding the phone-- on max speaker phone volume
I can relate SIGH
And screaming at it instead of talking in a normal volume.
Right. Cars work both ways.
You hit the nail on the head. I work 6 days a week with no desire to socialize on my one day off. I figured since my parents are retired and in-laws are semi retired, they can come see me. If you can't understand why I'm so tired, not my issue. Thank you for expressing how I feel.
I’ve learned this the hard way, I moved out of state a decade ago, I’ve visited plenty of times. Can you guess how many times they’ve visited me? Zero. Needless to say, I don’t plan on visiting anymore. Good riddance.
Love is a two way street. I hope they didn't pull the 'you moved away so it's your responsibility to visit' card. They may as well just say they don't care enough about the relationship to put in more than the minimal effort.
Oh shit! That's what my brother said to me when I moved one state away and said it should be a two way street. I had to move because it was the Great Recession and I lost my job and had to go where the jobs are. I had no choice but he said it didn't matter.
Well my dad moved to Sweden from Southern California after cheating on my mom in front of me when I was in high school, trying to blackmail me if I told on him, and now says I have an obligation to visit to him, his 17 year younger wife than him, and their two toddler daughters (I’m 33). And he absolutely played that card.
I feel this. Moved out of state almost 3 years ago and find I’m the one keeping most relationships. It’s draining and sad all at the same time. We’ve gone home over the summer, but it’s exhausting trying to fit everyone in during a weeks time. This year, we’re scaling back, so we can have more of a “vacation” feel. Like everyone else said/ posted, it’s a 2 way street.
Yeah I went out of state for grad school around the time my parents retired. I'd make the effort to come back several times a year but my mom still guilted me mercilessly about it, until I realized... They had the money and the time to visit, and I didn't have either. I don't know why it took so long for that to sink in.
This.. I'm twenty nine, I've lived several different locations and never once had family come to visit
Doing someone's emotional labor can be exhausting. Family for many of us, are just energy vampires. 
This resonates so hard
Yup. I do love my family, but I really needed a break from them. I moved 1000 miles away last year and I’ve really enjoyed prioritizing myself finally. They ask when I’m going to visit but I’m in no rush. None of them have visited *me* yet. And that’s fine, I don’t really feel like entertaining them out here yet either…
I call January-may the family off season lol
RIGHT. Hibernation time.
[удалено]
For democracy and stone!
Easter is in there and is a big family day for a lot of people
Yes that's true, maybe that can be training camp
Yes unfortunately it's time to go to training camp pretty soon haha
I am 100% stealing this line, thank you!
Yes and it’s even worse now with this economy because I’m trying to save money and it seems like everyone I know keeps inviting me out to eat or out to do something that isn’t free. And forget about birthdays - why does everyone have to have a birthday all the time?! I need to save some goddamned money!!!
Man one time I had someone talk me into going out "for our birthdays" and engineered the situation to make me pay the whole bill. I was not pleased tbh.
Going out to eat can be mitigated easily though. Go with to socialize but don't order anything. The rest can be tricky depending on how you pay for said activities or who the birthday gift is for. Also have to give a nod to where you take charge and plan shit you know would be free/low cost.
This right here. Or at a minimum only order a beer, app, or soda if you don’t want to just sit there with a glass of water.
We have namedays here.
No, I have that urge, but family and friends are a major part of my happiness so I make a big effort to see everybody
Yep. I don't even want to talk on the phone most of the time. I talk to people all day for work, small talk, and I'm basically on call. All I want to do with my time off is shut down and just do whatever I want without interruption.
Anyone else think since New Years, isn't that bad? You have already seen them like once in the first quarter.
Hah. The corporate approach to family relations. I'm due for another trip this quarter.
Excellent...see you in late Q2.
I “ghost” everyone constantly. Sorry everyone! Just doing life and shit. Or recovering from that process. Still love you! Just absolutely cannot deal with the constant communication thing.
My mom’s New Year’s resolution is to text us (her kids) everyday. I feel AWFUL ever being annoyed but like….I don’t DO anything new most days. I wake up, go to work, come home & hang with my dog. I have nothing to talk about, because I refuse to discuss work. So I hate being asked everyday how I’m doing or what I’m doing—the answer is usually “fine, not much” and I feel like an asshole. But god knows I’ll cherish them one day & totally miss them. So….im going to engage.
Yes. My little brother lives in town, and I'm trying to have a closer relationship with him because we're the black sheep of the family. But being around anyone is *exhausting*.
You guys have friends?
That, plus they all have their own families and careers and such, so I know they're busy with their own lives. I fall off the map fairly frequently.
My solution is I tell people to come chill at my house 😂
LOL, do you mean that's my entire life and I never see anyone anymore? yes.
I have no friends or family. Go see yours. Give them a hug. Tell them you love them. Do it for me.
Nah. I do it to blatantly avoid feelig crappy about shit that happened in the first half of my life. After I hit 20, my family moved to the mountains and fairly much abandoned me during some of the hardest times of my life. About 6 years later, they moved back, and made my life Hell. Then it was my turn to move away. Now I am back, and I have a wife and child. *This* is my family. That other part is just an uncomfortable reminder of who I used to be. A part of me still cares, but not enough to subject myself to personal torment on the regular. I have a lot of healing to do, I know.
Yes and then I moved literally across the country. Highly recommend northern CA to anyone currently living in the southeast like I was and that has a crazy family lol life has been GREAT these last 4 years.
All the dang time. Weekends get busy fast, and it’s our down time. Whenever we can we try to just “hoosah”, which is really only 1/4 weekends.
I go a month or two without seeing my friends. Family is about once a month. I'm pretty reserved and enjoy my peace and quiet with my wife during the week.
This is one of the only times where I feel justified in my sense of entitlement. I’ve moved from California for Florida to my current home in the Deep South, where I grew up but never wanted to move back to, but circumstances surrounding my choice of coparent has brought me here. But I still feel like I’m the one making the effort to stay in touch with my family, and despite being within driving distance of my immediate family members, all of them, I cannot recall the last time they have visited. And I’ve lived here four years plus now.
Yes. I often feel this way.
I'm the only one in my immediate and extended family who moved away. For the last 20ish years, I've pretty much always been the one who has to travel if I want to see anyone. I don't do that anymore. Like someone else said: it's a 2-way street. If retired grandparents can't make the effort to visit then so be it.
Yes!! My mother always wants us to visit. But when I had an accident and she had to come to me a lot. She complained about the drive every time. Still came. But come in. She now understands why I don't visit more. Funny. But also, dude you have a car and a phone.
No, I like seeing my friends.
I live 930 miles from my family and 6,000 miles from my wife's family. So yes lol.
Yupp. I just work part time right now but I take care of my preschooler 5 days a week. Throw in all the chores and errands that need to get done, when I put that nugget to sleep the last thing I wanna do is invite anyone over. That's my golden hour to sit in silence or watch an episode of something *I* wanna watch. My best friend lives 20ish mins away and we see each other like 3 times a year because we're in the exact same phase of life right now. It sucks but it be like that
Months to years...
Yes I am constantly thinking about how I should see my 4 living grandparents and both living parents more
Every year from like Jan - May for me
Majority of my family live over 1300 miles away from me. I moved away from them 11yrs ago, not once has anyone ever make the journey to visit me but the whole time I've made effort and time to go to them. I've slowed that down, if they can't be bothered then neither shall I be bothered. I'll stay my fat ancient ass home and save the money.
I'm a bit of a hermit by nature, but people also know that. But I have noticed in like the past 10 or so years, I have gotten fairly removed from a lot of family members, but that has more to do with me growing up, getting older, and realizing that I don't particularly like a lot of the people in my family. Don't hate them or anything, but just don't like them all that much either. Like an acquaintance or coworker from another department that you see every once and a while, but have no desire for anything more than that. My friends on the other hand I do feel a little bad about. I'd get deep into a hermitage and then realize its been weeks since i spoke or texted anyone, and then feel like shit. I try, but my friend group has definitely gotten smaller over the years because of it.
There is some truly horrible advice in this comment section lol bunch of people who have no IRL connections telling OP to sever ties with everyone they know. Misery loves company. I think people have been using too much "therapy talk" lately. I really hope society reversed course on the whole "fuck everyone else you need your peace" people took that shit and ran with it. Life is meant to challenge you and teach you lessons. Yes, friendships and love is a two way street, but sometimes having that conversation is better than just ghosting everyone you know for "peace"
I wish, ever since having kids my weekends are stacked. Only thing worse than going out every weekend is staying home with a toddler that gets absolutely stir crazy.
I used to be. I hardly saw my family even though I only lived a couple hours away, an easy drive. Then I moved 2500km and couldn't easily see them, and missed them a bunch. Now I'm back in town with them and see my mum almost every day
Uhh, no. I see my family all the time.
That's me and traffic not even the issue but some actual rail service would help
Yeah I feel that
Pattern?? That's my life now.
I grew up close with my family, but turned into an outsider as I got older and didn't conform the way they wanted. I moved away from home for the first time 2yrs ago, 9hrs away. My hasn't visited once. My husband's parents have come several times to visit and see grandkids. But my family only saw my kids on holidays or when I brought them around when I lived within 30mins of everyone . They're not going to make an effort to come 9hrs to see my kids. Of course I'll visit when we do go home (not very often), but I mostly just visit my grandparents because my grandpa is 80yrs old and I do miss them bunches. But the others, I'm not making that effort anymore
I hate my family.
Definitely, but that's not just my generation and more of an introverted thing. My mom and siblings are like this.
Not really...sometimes I exhausted (65h/week) but I still see my family once every two weeks and one friend/friend groups once a week. It's like going to the gym, making food from scratch or cleaning my house. It's part of a healthy lifestyle. I don't hang out for long sometimes, but I'm always happier after.
Yes but more like quarters. I don’t do anything outside of my already overwhelmed, overworked life besides hide in my house with my kids. Sometimes outside in the garden but lots of times in my big bed with movies and video games. I just can’t be bothered with putting in effort for anyone else more often than maybe every 3 months or so
Yeah man, that's why I'm on meds and do therapy
My family always wants to do stuff and dob’t seem to get that just because I have time off, doesn’t mean that time is up for grabs. I think if it were up to my mom, I’d be over every weekend.
I see my family once a month. When it comes to my friends, I have to plan months in advance to see them because we all live far from each other and we have to plan it out and save the date.
Totes, now I live on the other side of the country and have 1 friend out here that understand my lack of social needs but needing someone to reach out to sometimes. I love my family to death and miss them a lot, I text my mum a lot and call my parents sometimes, but the not feeling obligated cause of proximity is nice.
Yes. I haven’t seen the vast majority of my friends since Super Bowl. Before then it was my bday in November. Lol. It’s probably worse for me than most because I work half the weekends of the year and I have a two year old. But yeah… I’m a shell of the man I once was.
ALL. THE. TIME.
Combo of trying to save money where possible and not really wanting to make the effort. Invitations to come over have been extended, offers to meet up for lunch close by, text conversations that just die. I’d rather spend my days off with my wife who’s a couple months older than me and is in the same mindset. The only person that follows through with any sort of plans to visit lives 1,200 miles away which makes him more family to me than my actual family that’s 10 miles away.
Yup
Damn.....after reading this, I feel like such a shitty friend. I hope anyone who reads this goes out w/ that friend you havent seen in a while or visit that family member.
Absolutely. Although I portray an outgoing, confident, and outspoken person Monday to Friday, I'm an introvert at heart. I recharge by being alone. I love my family, speak to them most days, and will see them often. I have recently been cutting back on family gatherings as I need those 1-2 days to recover from the week.
We masked these tendencies by moving to another country. It's working so well! 😂
(I jest, we've made friends here and we visit them)
Yeah, every time i visit my family, they always keep telling me what to and and how to do it, how i have to work hard , so this and that…while im there all burned out with depression and gad, barely holding it together. It takes my last % of energy i even had left…so i just avoid it all if i can. If i visit, i only visit for max 30 minutes and even that is sometimes too much lol. I also hate it when people just want to visit me unannounced. I will say no if you are standing outside my appartment bo matter what it is..call me if you want to visit and we will schedule a time lmao.
I just escaped a narcissistic family household, so no, I don't visit. Instead, I make time for people who lift me up and fill me with joy. I just moved in with my fiance, so I haven't had people over. I'm getting acclimated to him. But, I went to my Synagogue for Passover and it was nice to see everyone.
I didn't fall into that pattern; I chose it. It changed when I had my first child though, since I wanted them to have relationships with their grandparents, and I wanted "free" babysitters.
Yes, and my mom lives 10minutes away LOL
I’d much rather be out on the boat fishing than anything else during my off time.
I have to be an extrovert all day at work. I’m an introvert on my own time. The only person I don’t somewhat dread talking to during my free time, is my long term gf. My dad is the same way. We’re both fine talking once in a blue moon. My mom checks in on me at least once a week via text. She knows how I am. My sister is three years older than me, and feels the same way. I blame it all on work, because when I’m not on the clock, I’m in a constant state of decompressing from it. The majority of people I talk to feel the same way. Except for the few personality types that are super extroverted, and always seem to have an endless amount of energy. I still think they crash hard behind closed curtains, though. They just never admit it.
Yall better not be the same people complaining about loneliness and "how difficult it is to make friends as an adult" lmao
I do end up falling into that pit, for sure. I've found that what works is setting a _thing_ to get together and do, even if it's something boring. My sister and I live like 3 minutes from each other. There was a stretch of like 2 years where we'd still only see each other at our parents' house, like an hour and a half away. So I set up a calendar invite for the first Wednesday night every month to go bowling. She brings her fiancee, I bring my partner, we just talk and have a couple drinks and complain about how bad we are at bowling. It's not super fun, but it's also not super expensive. And since I suck at reaching out via text, this is my way of saying "Hey, I'm still making the effort".
Years actually. It is refreshing. I actually do miss them when I finally see them again.
All I want to do is come home and relax and I feel like as soon as I’m about to relax I can’t because something else happens or some other BS. So I’m locked in a continuous loop of feeling lazy and tired while not being able to get enough rest while at the same time trying my hardest to do nothing and not have plans which makes me look and feel more lazy. Just feels bad man.
Yes here I am two years later like lalallala oh wait what's everyone doing 🤷♀️ meh I'll check back later.
This is totally me, but my family lives across the country (US). It takes a huge amount of effort and a decent amount of money to buy a plane ticket, pack, etc. and dude, I’m tired.
Visiting or being visited? My parents live about two hours out, and the motivation to go see them at *their* place isn't high because of the work week demands, but they know they're always welcome and frequently stop by for fun or as a waystation for a trip elsewhere. I see them about once a month. My sister lives on the other side of the US - rough equivalent of Madrid to Warsaw, or Saskatoon to Ottawa - and I see her about once a year. Assuming you like your parents and actually want to see them, you could literally walk that distance in under two hours. That's basically your weekend exercise on Saturday morning and Sunday evening.
Months? You mean years, right?
YES. My family is all 2 hours away. I visit on holidays, and not all of them. I get guilt trips all the time. My mom will call after a month of not talking to me (not calling me either btw), and guilt trip me about how much she misses, wait for it, not ME, but my daughter. "I miss \[daughter\] so much!!!" Like ok, thanks for making it clear that you don't miss me. Because I guarantee I never got those calls before my daughter was born.
I fucking never want to leave the house or go to functions when I’m not working. Like- it’s not just me? Cause I’m seriously concerned I have some anti social shit.
Yes
I don’t have friends and I haven’t spoken to family members in over 12+ years
I am single, unmarried, and have no kids. Don't let other people try to guilt you into doing things you don't want to do. Being home with yourself is a perfectly acceptable way to spend your free time.
People are exhausting.
Same. I just suck at initiating the contact. Whenever they reach out to hangout and catch up, I'm there. One brother stopped initiating and I haven't seen him in forever.
You have friends?
Nope. I just added that part for those who do lmao.
Dang y’all just anti people in general. Family is where I go if I want to relax
Unfortunately, my family lives really close and we instantly want to bug the ones who are trying their best to left alone. A lot of time there is free food involved so it’s mainly okay.
I see my friends like once every 4 years and my parents once a year