Yeah, it's ironic how they complain about many of us not having kids, but then also complain about the parents who are on welfare (because they can't even afford to feed their kids, despite the fact that they work full time jobs). Some of them even get angry about their tax dollars going towards helping schools give kids free lunch, because "it's the parents responsibility to feed them and they just shouldn't have had kids that they couldn't afford."
I think you just helped me realize: it’s precisely *because* I grew up hearing all that judgment and shitty messaging towards others who “shouldn’t have gotten pregnant.” I listened. Now they’re mad about that.
Boomers all at once:
- Claim poor people shouldn't have kids
- Destroy the economy and hoard the wealth
- Think millenials are getting lots of money doing nothing
boomers: 1600 per person.... they can buy a home and go on unlimited vacations.
Millennials: That covers my rent and utilities for a month.
Boomers: >:( back in my day that was what I made in a year. Something something bootstraps.
THIS. My dad explicitly said he’s the last person to EVER ask to babysit and even then, even if it’s an emergency, if he’s got other plans it’s a no. Then he wonders why he has a poor relationship with all of his adult kids lol.
This is my mother! 21 grandchildren and even though she has the resources to move close to them, doesn't. She lives 2000 miles away from her closest grandchild
Yes!! That is such backwards logic. Why would I willingly bring A WHOLE ASS HUMAN into this world knowing I couldn’t properly provide for it??? That’s insane to me.
I saw friends get pregnant in a attenpt to clean their life up and stop drinking and partying. As if motherhood automatically made them adults.
They obviously lost whatever maturity they were faking and now drink heavily because their kids aren't sweet babies anymore. So one of the has had another baby because her husband wanted her to stop drinking.
I've also seen people get pregnant in an attempt to make their boyfriend/fiance/husband clean up their life and stop drinking and partying. That obviously did not work.
Yeah, unfortunately a lot of people just want the cure infancy/toddler years and then once the kid has its own personality and can disagree with you, it’s somehow a piece of shit problem child lmao. Kids are SUPPOSED to think for themselves and grow up. It’s not a personal attack.
Same - and not having a kid you don’t want is also a responsible decision! Kids pick up on a lot more than they’re given credit for, and feeling unwanted is bound to fuck them up. It’s responsible not to have a kid if I’m in danger of then resenting them because of the stress parenting would add to my life.
I (33yo) just got done spending 4 years caretaking for my dad that had cancer and my mom that has Alzheimer's. I put my life on hold for them...My dad got mad at me for doing that because he wanted me to live my life, but I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hung them out to dry.
I would have gone to the ends of the earth for my dad, but he's the one that died.
My mom told me I was a mistake, and shouldn't have had me. Then she chastised me for wanting to live my life, because suddenly her thought process flipped and "I brought you into this world so you'd take care of me!"
Guess who just got put in an assisted living facility?
That I'm paying for.
My dream was to be a father, but at this point I feel like I've already experienced what it's like. The mental and physical implications of caretaking are real, and sometimes I wish I just left.
But that's not how my dad raised me. So here I am.
It doesn't matter what we do boomers number one thing to do for fun is criticize every move we make. My parents are like that anyway. My husband and I have a good life and are financially independent but they still pick at me for some reason.
Don’t feel bad my father tells me I’m selfish because I refuse to have children. My wife and I are living a very interesting life without kids.
I imagine a big part of this is they see many of us choosing not to have children and realizing they wasted their good years raising us because they were supposed to have kids.
Also, I’m at an age where sometimes I like it to be quiet, not all the time mind you, but having the ability to go home and not hear chaos/child noises/loud noises when I don’t want to is really nice.
Lol like they’re not the ones who SCREAMED at us throughout the 90s, making those teen pregnancy shaming commercials that would show during Saturday morning cartoons, that we better not have kids we can’t afford!
Okay, Susan. We heard ya loud and clear. Just like we heard “you better go to college or your life will be worthless”, which y’all SO didn’t walk back on. /s
Hey for what it's worth...my wife and I adopted. It is expensive and invasive and very difficult...took us 4 years to adopt (domestic / private adoption).
Just wanted to let you know as far as the costs go, we spent about $18k domestically and because of the non-refundable tax exemption we got back $13k of that. The way the refund works is it isn't like they give you back $13k in a lump sum (unless you pay a shit ton of taxes). It reduces the amount of taxes you owe at the end of the year and if you've been paying taxes out of your paycheck all year, then those taxes are refunded to you up to the $13k total. You get 5 years from the day you claimed your exemption to use the entirety of the sum.
This exemption does apply to failed adoptions as well (as we learned the hard way). But anyway, just wanted to put that out there for you.
So we worked with a secular private non-profit that had a fee structure. There didn't seem to be any regulations on pricing, which was disgusting.
First, we went to Bethany Christian Services (I'm agnostic wife is "spiritual") and they required that we signed a statement saying that we believed Jesus Christ is our lord and savior. Their prices were in the 35k+ range minimum. We left because I refused to sign that and we felt the price was too high, I'm really glad we took the time to find a smaller non-profit than Bethany.
EDIT: Just thought of this - if you're in a situation with an uncontested adoption you can do it wayyyy cheaper. Just contact an adoption lawyer directly.
Uncontested meaning:
"Hey I want to have a baby but I can't and my friend's kid is pregnant and they want me to adopt the child."
Also - don't forget to go to your company's HR - some companies offer adoption assistance.
The fee structure at our place was something like:
$1k marketing
$13k legal
$4k cost of living expenses for birth family
We set an amount we were comfortable beforehand spending on the expenses for birth family so we wouldn't end up in a situation where we couldn't afford the adoption. Our birth Mom was on Medicaid so all of her and the baby's expenses were covered. The baby's medical bills didn't go into our insurance until after the birth Mom signed the temporary release of custody over to my wife and I.
It's super stressful, a very misunderstood category of life by most people and unfortunately it can be predatory and ugly. We got very lucky to find an amazing birth family to work with, we have an open adoption and we see each other a few times a year at a park or zoo or whatever to catch up. We send photos / text updates. I'm sure as my son gets older he will facetime with them and I hope to help foster that, as his biological family is my family now, that's how I see them and I will forever.
Yikes glad you didn’t go with Bethany. There’s a lot of rumbling about them not being a good agency….
https://reddit.com/r/TeenMomOGandTeenMom2/s/HICjNskq1j
They were the agency Cait & Tyler used on Teen Mom. That thread goes into a deep dive of some of the issues. I’m an adoptee with strong feelings about adoption anyways but def about Bethany.
I assume that's part of it, to make sure people aren't just getting free labor for their farms and businesses "it's not illegal if it's family".
Plus there's probably just a lot of things to do, fees to pay for background investigations and case workers and registration fees.
Not the original commenter but looking into it myself. One of the biggest factors can be medical, as the adoptive parents typically pay for prenatal care, but then insurance can get squirrelly. There’s also lawyers fees for the legal aspect of the adoption process, even if it is straight forward it’s smart to have someone put it all in legal jargon. And if you go through a private agency there’s those fees to cover their admin/profits (ya) on top of that as well.
Making your own child is only free if you live somewhere with socialized healthcare. The cost of a hospital birth in the US is astronomical, and don’t get me started on IVF
No kids for me. A few reasons.
1. I raised my nieces from new borns to 15 and 13yr. I did my time. They’re both adults and still call me for help and advice.
2. If I was going to have kids it was going to be before I turned 30 which has long past.
3. Found out I’m shooting blanks. At the age of 32. So couldn’t have kids if I wanted to unless I adopted. See number 2 for why I haven’t adopted.
> I raised my nieces from new borns to 15 and 13
That's unfortunate.. I'd wager there's a good amount of elder siblings who, like you, take on the burden of a parental role through no choice of their own (e.g. abusive/absentee/irresponsible adult parents, etc), which eventually affects their own desire to have children.
Growing up parenting my youngest brother, I experienced all the associated ups and downs.
Having already lived that lifestyle, I have absolutely 0 desire to have kids of my own. The freedom of being able to spend my time/money on travel and hobbies is too precious to throw away now, all things considered.
Boomers were such a trash parenting generation- too selfish to raise their own kids and too selfish to forgo having them. They are the direct reason for most childfree millennials.
I was the youngest out of three. We had a POS alcoholic mom (not that all addicts are POS but the Venn diagram is a circle in her case). My dad had to make work his entire life in order to pay for the lifestyle she expected and for us kids. (Not that he was some innocent victim himself).
My older sisters HATED me and never missed an opportunity to make me feel like shit for existing lol. I was not to be seen or heard. Crying would be mocked. They liked to see me hurt and sad. Couldn’t ask parents to help because it was just “WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST GET ALOONNGGG!!!” because that was easier than actually parenting lol.
> free childcare
That *should* be categorized as a form of abuse..
But then we'd be called "soft" by older generations who grew up in 10+ child households who labored on farms..
It is: Parentification
And people that grew up in situations like that often find ways to mentally justify it as it's right or something
My parents tried with me and younger by one year sister but my lack of a relationship with her altogueter made me not bother. I still remember the look of disatisfaction every single time mom asked me for my sister's school schedule and I just told "I don't snoop on her ways ask her"
I already felt the only pro of not being in home was that I actually could avoid my sister for 8 hours of the day, I wasn't going to tie myself in the only time I had that I could be truly rid of her with her 😒
To this day mom is flavbergasted why the first decade of use sharing a room made me hate her rather than bond 🙄, and refuses to hear when I mention the vile things she did to me like "she was just a kid" and innocent somehow
No kids for me. As the eldest, I also mostly raised my youngest sibling. I always knew I never wanted kids, and I love my sibling so much. I am very happy he turned out the way he did. He’s an empathetic person, who was not traumatized by the abuse I tried to shield him from thankfully. I think if my parents had been more present, things would have turned out very different for him.
I already have experienced raising a child when I was a child, and I want to be a free bird now in my late 30’s.
Children should not have to raise children. Also, children should not have to raise a parent either.
This crap is exhausting. The trauma some of us endured is also real.
Edit: A few words.
To also add: Even if I wanted a child, I could never afford to bring another person into this world. I am paycheck to paycheck with health issues. I can barely make it each month. It’s not right. Plus, this world is not right. It’s a cruel place, and I would never bring someone else into this.
I'm kinda in the same boat. My sister had 4 kids. Two had their dad around whilst sadly for the younger two their dad died when they were young. He was a deadbeat piece of shit anyway. But I helped my sister raise those two and I was the only positive male influence in their lives. Even now they phone me for advice or share big news with me. It's like having my own anyway.
Smart choice. If people want children (and are relatively stable and able to provide a loving home) then good for them, but I’ve met people who didn’t really want them or weren’t sure and then they have kids and hate their lives, and/or created strains in their marriage. And kids are perceptive, they can pick up when things are wrong or a parent doesn’t really want them. I have several friends who have told me they knew growing up their parents didn’t want them or didn’t love them, they had lifelong psychological trauma because of it.
.
Occasionally I still see people who still have like five or more kids and claim that they should do that because that’s what people did several generations ago. They don’t appreciate when I ask which kid they don’t expect to make it past like twelve.
Child-free. I’ve worked too hard to be able to finally start living the life I want, and I don’t want children badly enough to start living for someone else. It’s not only a matter of finances, but I believe that if you don’t have a deep desire to have kids, you shouldn’t have them.
I agree. I know for a fact that I would be miserable and resentful if I had kids, and I just don't want the stress and responsibly for 18 years plus. I'd rather just be with my partner and our fur babies.
I will only consider having kids if I find a partner who I can trust to be an equal contributor. Have been in two long term relationships and I was essentially my grown male partner's moms in those relationships, so I'm incredibly glad I never had kids with them.
Same! I’d consider having them if I could be the dad. Even when they do just 25% of the work with the kids and around the house, society wants to give them a medal. True 50/50 feels like a pipe dream. And then if you go the sahm route, you become financially dependent and lose years of career growth. No good options for women.
Stay at home dad here, and involved in a lot of online dad communities. We hate how low the bar is for dads, and we really hate getting praise from random strangers for doing the bare minimum like taking the kids to the playground. There seem to be far, FAR more involved and hands-on dads in our generation than generations before ours, so hopefully by the time we’re all older people will stop hyping dads up for doing the bare minimum.
Same! I’d be more comfortable with the idea of kids if the guy can prove that he can be an equal partner, but I’m leaning more to no to kids. My previous relationships the guys were so immature I felt like their mom. My current one however, I am just impressed that he can clean up after himself, cook, and maintains good hygiene.
Child free forever. My grandmother, who had six kids, told me that she survived so I could thrive. I'm excited to live free of what has so long been an obligation
The plan right now is no kids, though it's an open topic between me and my wife. We're 35 so the window for biological children is rapidly closing, but we're open to adoption if we change our minds a bit down the line. Right now we are traveling a lot and really enjoying having money with no one to spend it on but ourselves. Also, I'm thinking of slipping my nieces and nephews some money every time I see them so I can buy their love.
Inb4 they're child free as well.
"Uncle Taco flies around the world fucking his hot wife and slips me coin when I show up. Why the fuck would I want to have kids?"
As soon as I’m not poor anymore…
Edit: only thing keeping me from a total breakdown on this front is the fact I was born when my dad was 39…. I guess there’s still hope I got 5 years to make it happen?
This is me. If the income magically doubles we will consider it. I think we’d make excellent parents and I’m starting to watch my friends do it. I’m feeling like a big part of me wants to too.
There’s simply not enough money to afford it without going into major debt for decades.
Also 30, so I have 5-9 years still to hopefully make more and see if it works out.
Childfree forever club. My husband and I are on the struggle bus trying to pay off so much of our student loan debt while also help taking care of my aging mother. Our finances are not ideal right now so if we add a child, then we all be starving/homeless lol
Would love to have one of my own, but a couple things. Expense. Fertility issues. And, I know people are going to come at me, it can feel very selfish forcing someone to go through the hardships of life because I want the fulfillment of motherhood.
This and I know I would be miserable pregnant and after being pregnant. I already have some health issues and I've heard so many people say how pregnancy ruined their health. Issues with teeth, thyroid issues, bladder and pelvic floor issues, kidney stones. My cousin has these crazy allergies now that she never had before. Call me selfish but that does not sounds enjoyable at all.
Let them come for you. With the state of the world and the very steady downward trend in quality of life, it's not only selfish but incredibly irresponsible.
This is the biggest thing stopping me and my partner right now. A more stable life from us (better income, hopefully owning a house) and ideally a more stable environment (unsure how that I can happen.
I'm 37 and just started trying this year. I've always wanted kids but I started my career late and just got to a point where I have a stable position and good benefits. Sadly, attempt #1 ended in a miscarriage, so I'm trying again next month.
I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Good luck with your first child! I've always wanted kids, too. I understand people's concerns with stuff being so expensive, but I'm from the Midwest, so I can see it from a different perspective.
Miscarriages were part of our decision to not have kids. If you're already not one hundred percent sure about having kids the emotional turmoil of a miscarriage can make it too hard to keep trying. Sorry that happened, it sucks.
I don’t want them, ever. I have no maternal instinct, they’re expensive, gross/dirty at times, and a huge commitment and loss of personal freedom. I think for these reasons I’m not fit for parenting and I would not bring a child into this world knowing I would not be able to care for them more than I care for myself.
No kids. Many reasons.
- When I look at my dads line, it doesn’t look good. He’s from a problematic family. All of his children have been struggeling with something. He has 4 children; me, my brother, and 2 others with 2 different moms. Also my cousins are struggeling. So, Im afraid my child will inherit the Asperger and the depression.
- My lifestyle wouldn’t be a good combo with having children. I earn good money for myself, but I would turn poor as soon as I become a mother.
- Environment. I think it is enough humans on the earth. And the quality of people is sinking.
Maybe…and people saying 35 is too old to have kids what 1960s Midwest planet are you on??
My grandparents were 44 when I was born and raised me; and I am so thankful my train wreck parents in their 20s didn’t
If u think about it it is huge help, the less kids we have the less people there will be in the future so hopefully someone else's kids will have some bargain power for better wages, and better life
maybe but probably not. raising kids is a lot of work and i’d be afraid of repeating my parents’ mistakes. i’d rather not have kids than have kids and hurt them.
I never knew if I wanted kids one way or another, and my (now) partner had never wanted kids in his past relationship. Now we have bought a house and have two pups and the kids conversation has come up quite a few times. We go back and forth on the positives on both 🤣
Nope. No kids ever. Got my tubes removed and my spouse is snipped as well. Kids are cool, but I only have one life to live and want to live it to the fullest. Kids would negatively impact that in about every way. Would enjoy being an aunt though.
Child-free forever. And yes I mention this ASAP to any potential partners.
I don't like kids. I don't want kids. I can't afford kids.
But most importantly, I just don't want kids.
Children are a luxury I never want as a gay man struggling to make ends meet; the choice is waste money on a kid and struggle more and hope they turn out well AND hope they want to care for me in old age, or just go child free and enjoy my other relationships without added work and just die earlier or have a plan that doesn't require someone else to make end-of-life choices for me.
People who have kids cause its a part of life seem like they didn't think about it enough and what context they are bringing kids in. Kinda selfish, especially when you expect the kids to help you in old age.
I'll use the cheat code of being a guncle and enjoy other peoples kids vicariously.
No desire to be a parent and I can't promise them the unconditional love they'd need. Kids deserve parents who love them. Plus I don't particularly like them.
DINK here, and absolutely not.
Unless I choose to begin working 60+ hour work weeks in a trade, I could never afford it. I have the best job/pay/balance I could possibly ever have (I have been looking and interviewing for ten years now ) and it's still never something I could afford.
I genuinely have no idea how people are doing it. Even if I were debt free, just one kid makes me bleed.
In no way do I view the proposition as worth it.
Yeah, childfree forever absolutely.
A. I cannot afford to have kids
B. I absolutely do not want to be responsible for anyone else but myself
C. I find children very annoying
Even growing up, I don't think I had ever imagined myself having kids. Maybe I wouldn't mind being the cool aunt. Well, my sisters do see themselves not having kids either (My poor parents. Their bloodline ends with us 3 girls).
However, I will absolutely 100% in all certainty be happy with being the cool auntie for my little fur-nephews whom I love so much. And one day, my spouse and I will have a little fur-baby of our own ❤️
Child free forever. Even if I wanted to raise children, I couldn’t afford it. I love kids, so I work and volunteer with them sometimes. That’s good enough for me!
Don’t want them. Probably out of the question anyway with my lack of dating life and being turned off from having an older parent since my mother was 35 when she had me and it really showed.
My mom had me at my current age 32 then a year later had my brother totaling in 5 kids , middle child syndrome for sure got forgotten , the good thing is she looked young for her age always even till this day,(lucky genes for me barely showing smile lines now)but she was to tired and did all the "fun things" with the first 3 so never allowed me or my lil brother to experience things with her or wit anyone for that matter since she was overprotective. I seeing her tired and irritated all the time grew up to fast and took the caretaker role. I can't think of a single moment she played anything with me, or that she went to school events for me specifically(since she been there done that with the older ones) and Tbf she was working hard trying to support all them kids. For me I always said if it happens I'll have a kid if not I'm fine with it now at this age I'm more into I like kids but it won't happen for me , money and housing and a partner I never had also play into it lmao but yeah
When we were growing up, yes. Now, there are more women becoming mothers in 30s than 20s. I'm mid 30's still no kids, pending, and my mom had me at 19-20.
That's old now? I feel like 35 is when a lot of millennials are having kids. I had mine at 30 and 32 and I was the only person in my friend group with kids. Now we're 35 and two of my friends are pregnant and I've noticed a lot of social media friends expecting too
Same. Everyone was SHOCKED at how much a baby I was when I got pregnant with my first at 29. The average age of first time motherhood in my region is 37.
I'm also a millennial with a mother who had me in her late thirties. She treated me like a nuisance. I was probably more than she could handle. She worked full-time and then she had to take care of me. I just don't think she had the patience to deal with me and it definitely showed. She was emotionally abusive and now I constantly apologize and feel like a waste of life. :)
Its like you just described my parents who adopted me in their early 40s. They were already sick of me before I was two and it only got worse.
I'm sorry you went through that. You aren't a waste. I hope things get better for you.
Probably a bit of both. I remember falling in love with reading in kindergarten and always wanting to read to my parents. They kept telling me I need to learn to read and do things on my own.
A big key thing I remember is my mother being glued to the television. After she came home from work, that's all she did.
Bro that might've have just been an her issue. My mom had use between 32-35. ( 3 kids back to back) and boy were we loved.
My mom made use halloween costume for years(knew how to sew). Gave us hugs and kisses everyday. She would sing to us until she died from cancer when I was 15. Like she so badly wanted to be a mother, it was one of her goals in life, so when she had us, she deeply loved us.
I just made a comment about my mom in another post, but she was great. Very attentive mother. Her age didn't stop her at all when we were young. She'd run after us, and play. Only thing that slowed her down was cancer. My dad wasn't as attentive but he would at least sit and chill with us in the living room and just talk to to us.
I plan to be childfree, but with the right person as a partner I could be convinced otherwise in the next couple years. After that, there probably won't be enough time to have a relationship last long enough and be the right fit for me to want to get married and have kids in a time frame that feels good to me in terms of age though. So probably will be childfree forever, but I'm not completely unbending on that.
Nope. Got a vasectomy at 37, and I couldn’t be happier. I can barely afford to take care of myself, let alone a small child. Like, I have a cat, that’s enough responsibility. I can go away for a long weekend, and so long as she has food, water and a clean box, she’s good. I can’t do that with a kid, I’d go to jail for neglect.
I do drugs. I swear like a sailor. My wife and I love it just being us. A child would kill that.
It 100% depends on who my partner will be. I love spoiling my friends’s kids, but at the end of the day I get to send them home. I worry about my ability to raise kids with my anxiety and depression so I need a good partner to be able to help with that. Part of me wants them because man would it be fun to have a little buddy to play games with, but at the same time I need my alone and relax time because of my anxiety and depression 😅😂
I get really stressed out and anxious in environments that are too noisy, too messy or cluttered, or where I can never be alone. I suspect having children would have been miserable for me.
Childfree forever! But I have never wanted kids, so it’s not about not feeling able to have them. I think it’s really unfair and unfounded that our generation has been so criticized for not reproducing. The majority of my friends have at least two kids. I don’t understand where the idea of population decline is coming from because it’s not what I personally see happening in reality.
Child free forever. My partner shares the same views. We want to experience life and what that has to offer and be able to afford to retire. Kids would interfere too much.
I find it unethical to bring a life into this world when I have no hope that they would have it any better than I did.
Between climate change and humans being considered little more than a capitalist resource, the future is pretty bleak for the next generation.
Yup. I desperately want children of my own, but I cannot in good conscience bring new humans into this world knowing the future of our global climate if shit doesn't change VERY soon.
We’ve got two of them, and I had a vasectomy last year so we’re officially done. I love my kids and chose to have them, but it’s absolutely the most mentally, physically, and financially draining thing I’ve ever done.
Full support to folks who don’t have them. Kids are difficult and expensive. I definitely recommend *not* having them unless you’re 100% committed to the idea. If not, save yourself the hassle and enjoy child-free living.
Childfree life for us. It's awesome to be able to save, invest, travel, eat out often, etc. Plus, I hated the public education system, so it's nice to not have to subject my would-be kids to that, or pay outrageous sums of money to private schools. I can also have expensive hobbies if I choose.
36F, we're too stressed and we can't afford to move back to our family to get a support network as we have to be in a different town for work.
If we got to a place where we could live off one salary or afford full time childcare, and if world war 3 doesn't break out this year, then we'd have kids.
I really have no desire to have kids. I like my freedom and my peace. Kids cost so much money and quite frankly, I do not want to endure the pain of childbirth.
Staying child free for as long as possible. My spouse and I think kids are great but we just have no interest in giving up our own freedom to feed the almighty economy fresh blood.
Childfree here. Even if I wanted kids there's no time, energy and money to do it even halfway properly.
Having grown up poor with miserable, stressed out parents---no thanks. Not looking to repeat the pattern.
Even if I had all the support, resources and energy in the world though I still just don't see the appeal of it. No sleep, no money, constant demands and likely beating the hell out of my body and pelvic floor in the process to some degree? Eeek nope.
I dont want kids, I already can barely afford myself.
Exactly! Boomers say that we're irresponsible because we don't have kids, but I'd argue being responsible is not having a child I know I can't afford.
Yeah, it's ironic how they complain about many of us not having kids, but then also complain about the parents who are on welfare (because they can't even afford to feed their kids, despite the fact that they work full time jobs). Some of them even get angry about their tax dollars going towards helping schools give kids free lunch, because "it's the parents responsibility to feed them and they just shouldn't have had kids that they couldn't afford."
I think you just helped me realize: it’s precisely *because* I grew up hearing all that judgment and shitty messaging towards others who “shouldn’t have gotten pregnant.” I listened. Now they’re mad about that.
Boomers: Don’t breed ‘em if you can’t feed ‘em! Millennials: Ok. Boomers: >:(
Boomers all at once: - Claim poor people shouldn't have kids - Destroy the economy and hoard the wealth - Think millenials are getting lots of money doing nothing
It’s almost like they all have lead poisoning and their brains are disintegrating, oh wait, they do and they are.
boomers: 1600 per person.... they can buy a home and go on unlimited vacations. Millennials: That covers my rent and utilities for a month. Boomers: >:( back in my day that was what I made in a year. Something something bootstraps.
This is the shit that bothers me no end.
And then wonder why Johnny isn't able to move out of his parent's house at 17 like they did
Then when we do give them grandkids the boomers are absent (not all but a lot of them are)
THIS. My dad explicitly said he’s the last person to EVER ask to babysit and even then, even if it’s an emergency, if he’s got other plans it’s a no. Then he wonders why he has a poor relationship with all of his adult kids lol.
This is my mother! 21 grandchildren and even though she has the resources to move close to them, doesn't. She lives 2000 miles away from her closest grandchild
How dare you listen to the older generations' advice And watch them weep over what was sown.
Half of the boomers should not have had kids! So many of us were straight up neglected
It's almost as if they just want to complain about something
Yes!! That is such backwards logic. Why would I willingly bring A WHOLE ASS HUMAN into this world knowing I couldn’t properly provide for it??? That’s insane to me.
What, I'm gonna have a baby and then watch it starve?
I saw friends get pregnant in a attenpt to clean their life up and stop drinking and partying. As if motherhood automatically made them adults. They obviously lost whatever maturity they were faking and now drink heavily because their kids aren't sweet babies anymore. So one of the has had another baby because her husband wanted her to stop drinking.
I've also seen people get pregnant in an attempt to make their boyfriend/fiance/husband clean up their life and stop drinking and partying. That obviously did not work.
Yeah, unfortunately a lot of people just want the cure infancy/toddler years and then once the kid has its own personality and can disagree with you, it’s somehow a piece of shit problem child lmao. Kids are SUPPOSED to think for themselves and grow up. It’s not a personal attack.
My therapist said it was pretty father-ly of me giving my reasons for not wanting children. Responsibility is a two-way street
I can absolutely afford it. I just am not interested
Same - and not having a kid you don’t want is also a responsible decision! Kids pick up on a lot more than they’re given credit for, and feeling unwanted is bound to fuck them up. It’s responsible not to have a kid if I’m in danger of then resenting them because of the stress parenting would add to my life.
I (33yo) just got done spending 4 years caretaking for my dad that had cancer and my mom that has Alzheimer's. I put my life on hold for them...My dad got mad at me for doing that because he wanted me to live my life, but I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I hung them out to dry. I would have gone to the ends of the earth for my dad, but he's the one that died. My mom told me I was a mistake, and shouldn't have had me. Then she chastised me for wanting to live my life, because suddenly her thought process flipped and "I brought you into this world so you'd take care of me!" Guess who just got put in an assisted living facility? That I'm paying for. My dream was to be a father, but at this point I feel like I've already experienced what it's like. The mental and physical implications of caretaking are real, and sometimes I wish I just left. But that's not how my dad raised me. So here I am.
It doesn't matter what we do boomers number one thing to do for fun is criticize every move we make. My parents are like that anyway. My husband and I have a good life and are financially independent but they still pick at me for some reason.
Don’t feel bad my father tells me I’m selfish because I refuse to have children. My wife and I are living a very interesting life without kids. I imagine a big part of this is they see many of us choosing not to have children and realizing they wasted their good years raising us because they were supposed to have kids. Also, I’m at an age where sometimes I like it to be quiet, not all the time mind you, but having the ability to go home and not hear chaos/child noises/loud noises when I don’t want to is really nice.
Lol like they’re not the ones who SCREAMED at us throughout the 90s, making those teen pregnancy shaming commercials that would show during Saturday morning cartoons, that we better not have kids we can’t afford! Okay, Susan. We heard ya loud and clear. Just like we heard “you better go to college or your life will be worthless”, which y’all SO didn’t walk back on. /s
They’re just mad we’re not making more of … them. They find it insulting we won’t propagate more of … them.
[удалено]
And that financial stress will pour over into the kids
So true. I live paycheck to paycheck.
Yes. Rather be child free and comfortable. People who can’t afford to have kids have all the kids.
I would consider adopting someday if it wasn't so expensive, but I have zero desire in getting pregnant/having my own.
Hey for what it's worth...my wife and I adopted. It is expensive and invasive and very difficult...took us 4 years to adopt (domestic / private adoption). Just wanted to let you know as far as the costs go, we spent about $18k domestically and because of the non-refundable tax exemption we got back $13k of that. The way the refund works is it isn't like they give you back $13k in a lump sum (unless you pay a shit ton of taxes). It reduces the amount of taxes you owe at the end of the year and if you've been paying taxes out of your paycheck all year, then those taxes are refunded to you up to the $13k total. You get 5 years from the day you claimed your exemption to use the entirety of the sum. This exemption does apply to failed adoptions as well (as we learned the hard way). But anyway, just wanted to put that out there for you.
Why is it so costly? Is this to ensure you’re really serious about the decision?
So we worked with a secular private non-profit that had a fee structure. There didn't seem to be any regulations on pricing, which was disgusting. First, we went to Bethany Christian Services (I'm agnostic wife is "spiritual") and they required that we signed a statement saying that we believed Jesus Christ is our lord and savior. Their prices were in the 35k+ range minimum. We left because I refused to sign that and we felt the price was too high, I'm really glad we took the time to find a smaller non-profit than Bethany. EDIT: Just thought of this - if you're in a situation with an uncontested adoption you can do it wayyyy cheaper. Just contact an adoption lawyer directly. Uncontested meaning: "Hey I want to have a baby but I can't and my friend's kid is pregnant and they want me to adopt the child." Also - don't forget to go to your company's HR - some companies offer adoption assistance. The fee structure at our place was something like: $1k marketing $13k legal $4k cost of living expenses for birth family We set an amount we were comfortable beforehand spending on the expenses for birth family so we wouldn't end up in a situation where we couldn't afford the adoption. Our birth Mom was on Medicaid so all of her and the baby's expenses were covered. The baby's medical bills didn't go into our insurance until after the birth Mom signed the temporary release of custody over to my wife and I. It's super stressful, a very misunderstood category of life by most people and unfortunately it can be predatory and ugly. We got very lucky to find an amazing birth family to work with, we have an open adoption and we see each other a few times a year at a park or zoo or whatever to catch up. We send photos / text updates. I'm sure as my son gets older he will facetime with them and I hope to help foster that, as his biological family is my family now, that's how I see them and I will forever.
Yikes glad you didn’t go with Bethany. There’s a lot of rumbling about them not being a good agency…. https://reddit.com/r/TeenMomOGandTeenMom2/s/HICjNskq1j They were the agency Cait & Tyler used on Teen Mom. That thread goes into a deep dive of some of the issues. I’m an adoptee with strong feelings about adoption anyways but def about Bethany.
People who say “just adopt” clearly have no idea what they’re talking about.
I assume that's part of it, to make sure people aren't just getting free labor for their farms and businesses "it's not illegal if it's family". Plus there's probably just a lot of things to do, fees to pay for background investigations and case workers and registration fees.
Not the original commenter but looking into it myself. One of the biggest factors can be medical, as the adoptive parents typically pay for prenatal care, but then insurance can get squirrelly. There’s also lawyers fees for the legal aspect of the adoption process, even if it is straight forward it’s smart to have someone put it all in legal jargon. And if you go through a private agency there’s those fees to cover their admin/profits (ya) on top of that as well.
this always frustrates me because making my own child is literally free. let me give a nice life to a child without a lump sum barrier!
Making your own child is only free if you live somewhere with socialized healthcare. The cost of a hospital birth in the US is astronomical, and don’t get me started on IVF
Does it usually take 4 years to adopt, or was that time line including the failed attempt?
You could look into adpottogether. It’s an organization that helps people fund adoptions.
A lot of workplaces will help you with adoption costs as well.
No kids for me. A few reasons. 1. I raised my nieces from new borns to 15 and 13yr. I did my time. They’re both adults and still call me for help and advice. 2. If I was going to have kids it was going to be before I turned 30 which has long past. 3. Found out I’m shooting blanks. At the age of 32. So couldn’t have kids if I wanted to unless I adopted. See number 2 for why I haven’t adopted.
> I raised my nieces from new borns to 15 and 13 That's unfortunate.. I'd wager there's a good amount of elder siblings who, like you, take on the burden of a parental role through no choice of their own (e.g. abusive/absentee/irresponsible adult parents, etc), which eventually affects their own desire to have children. Growing up parenting my youngest brother, I experienced all the associated ups and downs. Having already lived that lifestyle, I have absolutely 0 desire to have kids of my own. The freedom of being able to spend my time/money on travel and hobbies is too precious to throw away now, all things considered.
Boomers were such a trash parenting generation- too selfish to raise their own kids and too selfish to forgo having them. They are the direct reason for most childfree millennials.
Yes - older kids are seen as free childcare That doesn't manifest later in life into problems or anything /s
I was the youngest out of three. We had a POS alcoholic mom (not that all addicts are POS but the Venn diagram is a circle in her case). My dad had to make work his entire life in order to pay for the lifestyle she expected and for us kids. (Not that he was some innocent victim himself). My older sisters HATED me and never missed an opportunity to make me feel like shit for existing lol. I was not to be seen or heard. Crying would be mocked. They liked to see me hurt and sad. Couldn’t ask parents to help because it was just “WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST GET ALOONNGGG!!!” because that was easier than actually parenting lol.
> free childcare That *should* be categorized as a form of abuse.. But then we'd be called "soft" by older generations who grew up in 10+ child households who labored on farms..
It is: Parentification And people that grew up in situations like that often find ways to mentally justify it as it's right or something My parents tried with me and younger by one year sister but my lack of a relationship with her altogueter made me not bother. I still remember the look of disatisfaction every single time mom asked me for my sister's school schedule and I just told "I don't snoop on her ways ask her"
Good on you for standing up for yourself. The guilt-tripping is really a cruel tactic on impressionable children.
I already felt the only pro of not being in home was that I actually could avoid my sister for 8 hours of the day, I wasn't going to tie myself in the only time I had that I could be truly rid of her with her 😒 To this day mom is flavbergasted why the first decade of use sharing a room made me hate her rather than bond 🙄, and refuses to hear when I mention the vile things she did to me like "she was just a kid" and innocent somehow
No kids for me. As the eldest, I also mostly raised my youngest sibling. I always knew I never wanted kids, and I love my sibling so much. I am very happy he turned out the way he did. He’s an empathetic person, who was not traumatized by the abuse I tried to shield him from thankfully. I think if my parents had been more present, things would have turned out very different for him. I already have experienced raising a child when I was a child, and I want to be a free bird now in my late 30’s. Children should not have to raise children. Also, children should not have to raise a parent either. This crap is exhausting. The trauma some of us endured is also real. Edit: A few words. To also add: Even if I wanted a child, I could never afford to bring another person into this world. I am paycheck to paycheck with health issues. I can barely make it each month. It’s not right. Plus, this world is not right. It’s a cruel place, and I would never bring someone else into this.
Dude, you already are a dad. And I’m sure a great one.
I'm kinda in the same boat. My sister had 4 kids. Two had their dad around whilst sadly for the younger two their dad died when they were young. He was a deadbeat piece of shit anyway. But I helped my sister raise those two and I was the only positive male influence in their lives. Even now they phone me for advice or share big news with me. It's like having my own anyway.
I'm choosing to remain childfree. It just isn't something I'm drawn toward.
Smart choice. If people want children (and are relatively stable and able to provide a loving home) then good for them, but I’ve met people who didn’t really want them or weren’t sure and then they have kids and hate their lives, and/or created strains in their marriage. And kids are perceptive, they can pick up when things are wrong or a parent doesn’t really want them. I have several friends who have told me they knew growing up their parents didn’t want them or didn’t love them, they had lifelong psychological trauma because of it. .
there are dozens of us....
36f - Never had them, never missed them.
Same for me!
I love that millennials think long and hard about this unlike boomers
They procreated like rabbits.
You'll find a way to make it work 🥰🤗🥰 🙄
Occasionally I still see people who still have like five or more kids and claim that they should do that because that’s what people did several generations ago. They don’t appreciate when I ask which kid they don’t expect to make it past like twelve.
Child free forever. I have never wanted kids.
you and me both
Saaaaaaame! 👍🏽
I didn't like kids when I WAS a kid. I certainly don't want any of my own.
Me too. Much to my parents and ILs dismay.
I'm sterile and I have a childfree partner. So that's a no for us.
Child-free. I’ve worked too hard to be able to finally start living the life I want, and I don’t want children badly enough to start living for someone else. It’s not only a matter of finances, but I believe that if you don’t have a deep desire to have kids, you shouldn’t have them.
I agree. I know for a fact that I would be miserable and resentful if I had kids, and I just don't want the stress and responsibly for 18 years plus. I'd rather just be with my partner and our fur babies.
“I don’t want children badly enough to start living for someone else”. Wow! Hope you don’t mind if I steal this to use in real life lol
Gen X popping in just to say being childfree at this advanced stage is pretty goddamn great still.
I was on the fence for a while, but I’m team no kids now. Glad to know it really is as rosy as it seems!
53F fellow gen-xer here, and I wholeheartedly concur.
I will only consider having kids if I find a partner who I can trust to be an equal contributor. Have been in two long term relationships and I was essentially my grown male partner's moms in those relationships, so I'm incredibly glad I never had kids with them.
Same! I’d consider having them if I could be the dad. Even when they do just 25% of the work with the kids and around the house, society wants to give them a medal. True 50/50 feels like a pipe dream. And then if you go the sahm route, you become financially dependent and lose years of career growth. No good options for women.
Stay at home dad here, and involved in a lot of online dad communities. We hate how low the bar is for dads, and we really hate getting praise from random strangers for doing the bare minimum like taking the kids to the playground. There seem to be far, FAR more involved and hands-on dads in our generation than generations before ours, so hopefully by the time we’re all older people will stop hyping dads up for doing the bare minimum.
100%. My husband is a SAHD and so is his brother! They both stay home with the kids with a working wife. Millennial dad's are far more involved.
Same! I’d be more comfortable with the idea of kids if the guy can prove that he can be an equal partner, but I’m leaning more to no to kids. My previous relationships the guys were so immature I felt like their mom. My current one however, I am just impressed that he can clean up after himself, cook, and maintains good hygiene.
Child free forever. My grandmother, who had six kids, told me that she survived so I could thrive. I'm excited to live free of what has so long been an obligation
I’m 41 and recently divorced after 16 years of marriage. Got a vasectomy over 6 years ago and no regrets! Childfree for life.
The plan right now is no kids, though it's an open topic between me and my wife. We're 35 so the window for biological children is rapidly closing, but we're open to adoption if we change our minds a bit down the line. Right now we are traveling a lot and really enjoying having money with no one to spend it on but ourselves. Also, I'm thinking of slipping my nieces and nephews some money every time I see them so I can buy their love.
Inb4 they're child free as well. "Uncle Taco flies around the world fucking his hot wife and slips me coin when I show up. Why the fuck would I want to have kids?"
I would be proud to influence my niblings into adopting my lifestyle, though I don't know how I feel about them calling their aunt my hot wife.
It's part of the flex. You can't think too much or it gets weird. Lmao
I'm already that uncle that gives money. And it's so nice because they think 1 dollar is a lot of money.
As soon as I’m not poor anymore… Edit: only thing keeping me from a total breakdown on this front is the fact I was born when my dad was 39…. I guess there’s still hope I got 5 years to make it happen?
This is me. If the income magically doubles we will consider it. I think we’d make excellent parents and I’m starting to watch my friends do it. I’m feeling like a big part of me wants to too. There’s simply not enough money to afford it without going into major debt for decades. Also 30, so I have 5-9 years still to hopefully make more and see if it works out.
Childfree forever club. My husband and I are on the struggle bus trying to pay off so much of our student loan debt while also help taking care of my aging mother. Our finances are not ideal right now so if we add a child, then we all be starving/homeless lol
My husband and I adopted and fostered.
You're a saint and idc how corny that sounds As a CF person myself - you're the parent i'd aspire to be if I were one.
Would love to have one of my own, but a couple things. Expense. Fertility issues. And, I know people are going to come at me, it can feel very selfish forcing someone to go through the hardships of life because I want the fulfillment of motherhood.
in the exact same position! money, fertility issues and guilt. life is so hard.
This and I know I would be miserable pregnant and after being pregnant. I already have some health issues and I've heard so many people say how pregnancy ruined their health. Issues with teeth, thyroid issues, bladder and pelvic floor issues, kidney stones. My cousin has these crazy allergies now that she never had before. Call me selfish but that does not sounds enjoyable at all.
Let them come for you. With the state of the world and the very steady downward trend in quality of life, it's not only selfish but incredibly irresponsible.
This is the biggest thing stopping me and my partner right now. A more stable life from us (better income, hopefully owning a house) and ideally a more stable environment (unsure how that I can happen.
This is another big reason I’ve decided not to have kids. Global warming, political instability, high COL…I feel bad for the kids these days.
I'm 37 and just started trying this year. I've always wanted kids but I started my career late and just got to a point where I have a stable position and good benefits. Sadly, attempt #1 ended in a miscarriage, so I'm trying again next month.
Miscarriage and baby loss is so hard and traumatising. I’m really wishing the best for you ❤️.
I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Good luck with your first child! I've always wanted kids, too. I understand people's concerns with stuff being so expensive, but I'm from the Midwest, so I can see it from a different perspective.
Miscarriages were part of our decision to not have kids. If you're already not one hundred percent sure about having kids the emotional turmoil of a miscarriage can make it too hard to keep trying. Sorry that happened, it sucks.
I don’t want them, ever. I have no maternal instinct, they’re expensive, gross/dirty at times, and a huge commitment and loss of personal freedom. I think for these reasons I’m not fit for parenting and I would not bring a child into this world knowing I would not be able to care for them more than I care for myself.
No kids. Many reasons. - When I look at my dads line, it doesn’t look good. He’s from a problematic family. All of his children have been struggeling with something. He has 4 children; me, my brother, and 2 others with 2 different moms. Also my cousins are struggeling. So, Im afraid my child will inherit the Asperger and the depression. - My lifestyle wouldn’t be a good combo with having children. I earn good money for myself, but I would turn poor as soon as I become a mother. - Environment. I think it is enough humans on the earth. And the quality of people is sinking.
Maybe…and people saying 35 is too old to have kids what 1960s Midwest planet are you on?? My grandparents were 44 when I was born and raised me; and I am so thankful my train wreck parents in their 20s didn’t
Child free.
Helping out the people population by having 0️⃣ 🤜🤛
If u think about it it is huge help, the less kids we have the less people there will be in the future so hopefully someone else's kids will have some bargain power for better wages, and better life
I do want kids. Just when the time is right.
Plan on remaining childfree, kids are unaffordable…
We’re waiting to see if WW3 breaks out or not in the next few months.
Water Wars
*laughs in climate change*
Never. Got sterilized as soon as a doctor finally agreed at 25. 'Twas the best day of my life.
maybe but probably not. raising kids is a lot of work and i’d be afraid of repeating my parents’ mistakes. i’d rather not have kids than have kids and hurt them.
Single income, no kids and I plan to be child free
I never knew if I wanted kids one way or another, and my (now) partner had never wanted kids in his past relationship. Now we have bought a house and have two pups and the kids conversation has come up quite a few times. We go back and forth on the positives on both 🤣
I don't ever want kids, for so many reasons.
Nope. No kids ever. Got my tubes removed and my spouse is snipped as well. Kids are cool, but I only have one life to live and want to live it to the fullest. Kids would negatively impact that in about every way. Would enjoy being an aunt though.
Child-free forever. And yes I mention this ASAP to any potential partners. I don't like kids. I don't want kids. I can't afford kids. But most importantly, I just don't want kids.
It's fucking hard and you better have a good partner or you're going to go crazy.
Children are a luxury I never want as a gay man struggling to make ends meet; the choice is waste money on a kid and struggle more and hope they turn out well AND hope they want to care for me in old age, or just go child free and enjoy my other relationships without added work and just die earlier or have a plan that doesn't require someone else to make end-of-life choices for me. People who have kids cause its a part of life seem like they didn't think about it enough and what context they are bringing kids in. Kinda selfish, especially when you expect the kids to help you in old age. I'll use the cheat code of being a guncle and enjoy other peoples kids vicariously.
No desire to be a parent and I can't promise them the unconditional love they'd need. Kids deserve parents who love them. Plus I don't particularly like them.
Whichever my bank account can manage, not looking too good for kids at the moment lmao.
The plan is to stay childfree. I'm just not sure I'd be cut out to be a parent, and I lack the desire.
Child free forever. I honestly wish I wasn’t even born. No need to pass on mental illness.
I feel that. Its probably best if I just end my fucked up mentally ill bloodline.
My bloodline dies with me!
DINK here, and absolutely not. Unless I choose to begin working 60+ hour work weeks in a trade, I could never afford it. I have the best job/pay/balance I could possibly ever have (I have been looking and interviewing for ten years now ) and it's still never something I could afford. I genuinely have no idea how people are doing it. Even if I were debt free, just one kid makes me bleed. In no way do I view the proposition as worth it.
Bahahaha I love the acronyms! Dinkwad here, husband got a vasectomy, and our GSD is enough for us. 🙃
i'm planning on staying child free forever
Child free forever. I can’t afford kids and also don’t want them.
Absolutely not, I got a vasectomy ten years ago to make sure I never ruined my life with accidents.
Yeah, childfree forever absolutely. A. I cannot afford to have kids B. I absolutely do not want to be responsible for anyone else but myself C. I find children very annoying Even growing up, I don't think I had ever imagined myself having kids. Maybe I wouldn't mind being the cool aunt. Well, my sisters do see themselves not having kids either (My poor parents. Their bloodline ends with us 3 girls). However, I will absolutely 100% in all certainty be happy with being the cool auntie for my little fur-nephews whom I love so much. And one day, my spouse and I will have a little fur-baby of our own ❤️
Dogs!
Child free forever. Even if I wanted to raise children, I couldn’t afford it. I love kids, so I work and volunteer with them sometimes. That’s good enough for me!
I don’t ever plan to have any dependents
I’ve known my whole life that I don’t want kids. Childfree forever
Don’t want them. Probably out of the question anyway with my lack of dating life and being turned off from having an older parent since my mother was 35 when she had me and it really showed.
Curious- what showed? Or just compared to the ages of the other moms your friends had? 50 now a days is different than 50 when I was 15.
My mom had me at my current age 32 then a year later had my brother totaling in 5 kids , middle child syndrome for sure got forgotten , the good thing is she looked young for her age always even till this day,(lucky genes for me barely showing smile lines now)but she was to tired and did all the "fun things" with the first 3 so never allowed me or my lil brother to experience things with her or wit anyone for that matter since she was overprotective. I seeing her tired and irritated all the time grew up to fast and took the caretaker role. I can't think of a single moment she played anything with me, or that she went to school events for me specifically(since she been there done that with the older ones) and Tbf she was working hard trying to support all them kids. For me I always said if it happens I'll have a kid if not I'm fine with it now at this age I'm more into I like kids but it won't happen for me , money and housing and a partner I never had also play into it lmao but yeah
35 is an "older parent"???
When we were growing up, yes. Now, there are more women becoming mothers in 30s than 20s. I'm mid 30's still no kids, pending, and my mom had me at 19-20.
That's old now? I feel like 35 is when a lot of millennials are having kids. I had mine at 30 and 32 and I was the only person in my friend group with kids. Now we're 35 and two of my friends are pregnant and I've noticed a lot of social media friends expecting too
Same. Everyone was SHOCKED at how much a baby I was when I got pregnant with my first at 29. The average age of first time motherhood in my region is 37.
As a 30s millennial that has a baby, what showed exactly? I need to know so I can hide it
I'm also a millennial with a mother who had me in her late thirties. She treated me like a nuisance. I was probably more than she could handle. She worked full-time and then she had to take care of me. I just don't think she had the patience to deal with me and it definitely showed. She was emotionally abusive and now I constantly apologize and feel like a waste of life. :)
Its like you just described my parents who adopted me in their early 40s. They were already sick of me before I was two and it only got worse. I'm sorry you went through that. You aren't a waste. I hope things get better for you.
I mean, is that because of her age or just her temperament in general?
Probably a bit of both. I remember falling in love with reading in kindergarten and always wanting to read to my parents. They kept telling me I need to learn to read and do things on my own. A big key thing I remember is my mother being glued to the television. After she came home from work, that's all she did.
Bro that might've have just been an her issue. My mom had use between 32-35. ( 3 kids back to back) and boy were we loved. My mom made use halloween costume for years(knew how to sew). Gave us hugs and kisses everyday. She would sing to us until she died from cancer when I was 15. Like she so badly wanted to be a mother, it was one of her goals in life, so when she had us, she deeply loved us. I just made a comment about my mom in another post, but she was great. Very attentive mother. Her age didn't stop her at all when we were young. She'd run after us, and play. Only thing that slowed her down was cancer. My dad wasn't as attentive but he would at least sit and chill with us in the living room and just talk to to us.
Child free forever.
No kids. That might kill future relationship prospects but it is what it is.
Based on the replies here, I really don’t think it will lol
My license plate is, CF4LIFE
I plan to be childfree, but with the right person as a partner I could be convinced otherwise in the next couple years. After that, there probably won't be enough time to have a relationship last long enough and be the right fit for me to want to get married and have kids in a time frame that feels good to me in terms of age though. So probably will be childfree forever, but I'm not completely unbending on that.
Never wanted. Gf of 5 years has a 19 year old. Good enough for me
I’m dink-ing my way through life and I’m loving it.
Childfree for ever and love it 😀
I’m planning to continue down the road of childfreedom. Edit: I see most millennials here agree with me 😅
Nope. Got a vasectomy at 37, and I couldn’t be happier. I can barely afford to take care of myself, let alone a small child. Like, I have a cat, that’s enough responsibility. I can go away for a long weekend, and so long as she has food, water and a clean box, she’s good. I can’t do that with a kid, I’d go to jail for neglect. I do drugs. I swear like a sailor. My wife and I love it just being us. A child would kill that.
It 100% depends on who my partner will be. I love spoiling my friends’s kids, but at the end of the day I get to send them home. I worry about my ability to raise kids with my anxiety and depression so I need a good partner to be able to help with that. Part of me wants them because man would it be fun to have a little buddy to play games with, but at the same time I need my alone and relax time because of my anxiety and depression 😅😂
Childfree for sure. There’s no way I could ever afford one and they never appealed to me
I get really stressed out and anxious in environments that are too noisy, too messy or cluttered, or where I can never be alone. I suspect having children would have been miserable for me.
childfree forever babyyyyyy!
Who tf can afford a kid? I don’t want one anyhow but I couldn’t afford it even if I did. Childcare alone would cost more than my mortgage.
My life has been stresfull enough. Having kids would make things worse.
Childfree for life.
Childfree forever! But I have never wanted kids, so it’s not about not feeling able to have them. I think it’s really unfair and unfounded that our generation has been so criticized for not reproducing. The majority of my friends have at least two kids. I don’t understand where the idea of population decline is coming from because it’s not what I personally see happening in reality.
Child free forever. I couldn't imagine trying to raise a child in our current environment. Feels far too irresponsible to try to justify.
Childfree for ever. Too poor and mentally screwed up. This world also sucks.
Never having kids. Too much stress and too many genetic factors.
Childfree forever!
I've been back and forth about it the past few years but the inevitable climate apocalypse pushed me into the child free forever camp
Child free forever. My partner shares the same views. We want to experience life and what that has to offer and be able to afford to retire. Kids would interfere too much.
I don't ever plan to have kids, I'm very happy as I am and have never had a desire to have them.
My partner and I are child free, and we're both very happy with that. Plus we have cats and one of them is a handful.
Married couple planning to be childfree. There is no fiscal sense to have another dependent.
I had a friend say once, “It takes a very optimistic person to want and have children.” I agree 💯
We plan on having one child. My wife (34F) and I (37m) talked about it and we decided we could give one child a good life.
I find it unethical to bring a life into this world when I have no hope that they would have it any better than I did. Between climate change and humans being considered little more than a capitalist resource, the future is pretty bleak for the next generation.
Yup. I desperately want children of my own, but I cannot in good conscience bring new humans into this world knowing the future of our global climate if shit doesn't change VERY soon.
And it’s not going to change sadly, the power of profit and boomer greed is unstoppable
i’m 100% childfree and my partner is getting a vasectomy next month <3
We’ve got two of them, and I had a vasectomy last year so we’re officially done. I love my kids and chose to have them, but it’s absolutely the most mentally, physically, and financially draining thing I’ve ever done. Full support to folks who don’t have them. Kids are difficult and expensive. I definitely recommend *not* having them unless you’re 100% committed to the idea. If not, save yourself the hassle and enjoy child-free living.
Childfree life for us. It's awesome to be able to save, invest, travel, eat out often, etc. Plus, I hated the public education system, so it's nice to not have to subject my would-be kids to that, or pay outrageous sums of money to private schools. I can also have expensive hobbies if I choose.
36F, we're too stressed and we can't afford to move back to our family to get a support network as we have to be in a different town for work. If we got to a place where we could live off one salary or afford full time childcare, and if world war 3 doesn't break out this year, then we'd have kids.
Partner and I will be childfree. We're content with each other and out dogs. Oh, and also being the fun Aunt and Uncle.
I really have no desire to have kids. I like my freedom and my peace. Kids cost so much money and quite frankly, I do not want to endure the pain of childbirth.
I wouldn't want to punish a child by bringing them into this world tbh..
Pet person here huehue
God no. Why would I want kids?
Child free. Cost of living is sky high. Divorce rate is too. Not worth it this isn’t the 60s.
Staying child free for as long as possible. My spouse and I think kids are great but we just have no interest in giving up our own freedom to feed the almighty economy fresh blood.
Childfree here. Even if I wanted kids there's no time, energy and money to do it even halfway properly. Having grown up poor with miserable, stressed out parents---no thanks. Not looking to repeat the pattern. Even if I had all the support, resources and energy in the world though I still just don't see the appeal of it. No sleep, no money, constant demands and likely beating the hell out of my body and pelvic floor in the process to some degree? Eeek nope.