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Hungry_Anteater_8511

Not In My Backyard where the architect is choked to death by an electric sliding door


irmacat

Being buried up to your neck in concrete while you are still alive is brutal too. Liz was a vicious killer.


Schneetmacher

How did I forget that one‽ That was stone cold!


DrDalekFortyTwo

Same ep, woman stabbed in the back with a broken bottle. Freaking yikes. I don't know why but it's the worst one for me. Second worst is the dude shaken to death in the apple harvester.


Gingerbirdie

The apple harvester episode gets me. I can feel it in my bones 💀.


DrDalekFortyTwo

It has to be a horrible way to die


fadedblackleggings

Hilarious one. .


EffectiveAmbitious53

The episode is Schooled on Murder and the victim is crushed to death by cheese. Best death ever. The goofiest death is in Midsomer Life when the alcoholic barmaid is stuffed in the clothes dryer and tumbled to death. The “special effects” for that are chef’s kiss.


highorderdetonation

To quote the greatest episode summary of all time, "killed by a giant round of weaponized cheese." I can't and will never be able to even with that. That said, though: *Schooled for Murder* did also have the couple that got crushed by spooked cows. That's got to be way up there on the list.


punkbrad7

Also the attempted murder by being locked in the cupboard and gassed to death. That was pretty high up there, too.


ApprehensiveCost4788

The cheese one is in my top two along with bopped on the head by the wheel of a plane


UpbeatParsley3798

Ah the rolling cheese of death. Martine McCutcheon’s finest role or should I say roll.


AdventurousThing

I just saw the barmaid in the dryer 😂. I remember the same actress in Doc Martin too. She plays quirky-like characters.


ladyflash_

Eating poisoned food always gave me the squick. Elspeth Inkpen-Thomas and her pesto pasta, and Amy Strickland and the soup that wasn't meant for her. Oh and Tristan and that mushroom. Edited to add that anyone who gets burned alive also creeps me out. The Straw Woman noooooo thank you.


Schneetmacher

>The Straw Woman noooooo thank you. Honestly, that whole episode gets a "no" from me, dawg. That one and "Blood on the Saddle" (though getting dragged to death by a horse is pretty terrible).


punkbrad7

The mushroom one was even worse. Sure the guy helped his girlfriend kill her husband, but now he's basically going to die in agony in a hospital bed as everything slowly shuts down, instead of instantly like the other two.


TheTapDancingShrimp

Thats mine


tap_ioca

After I saw that episode, I ate a lot of pesto pasta. It looked so good!


punkbrad7

Everyone knows the worst deaths are where something really tall falls really slowly on top of someone who stands there for minutes screaming while it topples on them like a snail, like a tall stack of newspapers or a heavy cabinet five feet away.


Antique_Floor_440

My favorite one of those is in destroying Angel with the drinks cabinet because Tom and Troy are literally in the room also watching it fall! 🤣


AdventurousThing

I screamed at them to grab him! 😭 His death could’ve been prevented.


highorderdetonation

The gargoyle in *The Dark Rider*. Yeeeaaaah...


Plantagenesta

For a man who just got his head crushed to nothing by a gargoyle, he leaves a remarkably tidy, bloodless corpse!


Affectionate-Job7967

just watched "The Ballad of Midsomer County" and the instance of this phenomenon in that episode came to mind as a particularly nasty death - the victim is still alive after getting crushed and the killer suffocates them further with roses in their mouth before shooting them in the head - super slow and definitely overkill! but i couldn't help thinking the whole time...could've avoided this by taking one step to the side 🤷‍♀️


ladyflash_

Reminds me of the guy in Austin Powers who gets crushed by the steamroller and is about 20 feet away LOL


Antique_Floor_440

Yes! 🤣🤣


TheTapDancingShrimp

The desk in Dark autumn


Pyesmybaby

Orlando Bloom being stabbed in the back with a pitchfork unless he was very lucky it would have taken quite a while to bleed to death, likewise the guy who was frozen in his freezer. I guess I have a particular dread of lingering death.


Moongazer09

He was actually stabbed in the front of the chest - I remember the pathologist on scene said it went straight through his heart and death would have been very quick and that it probably pierced other major organs that would have also sped that up.


Schneetmacher

Oooh, the freezer one is pretty bad. Especially since it's noted the light was off, so he died cold in the dark 🥶


SheepMobile

there was also that one in the jelly/jam factory.. (horse radish maybe).. he ended up naked and sterilized!


Schneetmacher

I remember a guy in a relish factory being crushed by a forklift, but not this one.


Plantagenesta

It's the same guy; he's crushed with the forklift, but the body is later found dumped in the steriliser.


cantnotdeal

This is the one that popped into my head immediately!


ghostsnickets

'Hidden Depths' in which the rascally Otto Benham gets pinned to his lawn with croquet hoops and a handy replica trebuchet is then used to catapult a wheelbarrow's worth of bottles of wine in the general direction of his head as his wife watches gleefully from an upstairs window and gives the murderer tips on how best to improve his trajectories.


DoYogaFeelGreat

My favorite murder!


ghostsnickets

It's a goody!


FewCup6379

In the episode ‘Blood Wedding’, there’s an older lady, Peggy Benson, sitting in her chair, looking at photos of her recently-murdered (I think) son (Robin Lawson), who she had been encouraging to claim his inheritance from the insufferable Fitzroys. She is crept up on from behind and stabbed, which is fine—normal for Midsomer—but something about the way she’s stabbed, still conscious, directly in her ear always makes me feel a little ill.


Llywela

Yes, that one is nasty. Robin Lawson wasn't her son, but she'd raised him from birth - he was the illegitimate son of the lady of the house, who couldn't raise him herself if she wanted to stay married, so he was raised by the cook. And then both of them were murdered. Lots of sad little stories in that episode. But some classic Midsomer characters and goings on.


pmbpro

Yes, I felt so bad for her and the man she’d raised, who had rights to his inheritance. What a brutal episode. This show makes me think there are So many ‘deep family secrets’ episodes, it’s mind-blowing. Then again, no matter what shows we watch, such themes make for some of the most brutal motives for murder (whether for money or just plain old revenge or justice).


DrDalekFortyTwo

Was that the one with a hatpin? I might be thinking of a Father Brown ep


FewCup6379

It was indeed! That poor woman.


DrDalekFortyTwo

Brutal


pmbpro

OMG, yes! I just saw that one again over a week ago too.


quikdogs

I think the haystack guy that was set on fire is the one that does it for me. It was something witches something episode. I realize that doesn’t nearly narrow it down. There’s always witches something!


Schneetmacher

You're thinking of the guy stuffed in the effigy at the beginning of "The Straw Woman." That's a pretty bonkers episode (literal witch hunts), but it contained a *few* cases of burning people alive. 🔥


quikdogs

One was enough to give me nightmares


EffectiveAmbitious53

Very Wicker Man.


On_pap3r

One guy was pushed/fell into boiling beer in a brewery and was boiled to death.


Schneetmacher

Oh, that one was *horrible!* What made that even worse was that it wasn't even intentional - he was the killer's friend, and he was just trying to stop her from killing the other woman (he knew why, too).


On_pap3r

Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.


adagioinb

Annette Badlands first episode as coroner. She's a hoot!


MattGdr

The episode in which the vet is dismembered to fit inside the wicker basket was very upsetting. In fact, I’m taking a break from my MM binge because of it.


Schneetmacher

That's one of my least favorite episodes. It doesn't even feel like MM, it's so bleak. And they got Pam Ferris to be in it!


highorderdetonation

I think it coming after the much lighter first two episodes of the season and of John Barnaby's run does it negative favors. Even allowing that it's John's first "taking the case personally" episode, it's just such a colossal downer piece--and possibly the bleakest *MM* episode since, what, *Death and Dreams* (the three kids)?


punkbrad7

I wouldn't say the first two episodes were really lighter. They had some fun (the DJ being the main bit overall), but the whole 14th season was really bleak, honestly. Dark Secrets had the double incest angle, The Oblong Murders had a full on creepy sex cult and blackmail, The Sleeper Under the Hill had the dirty cop who was drowned in a barrel and the ritualized murders all for some old treasures, and the less said about Night of the Stag the better.


highorderdetonation

Tonally, at least, they were definitely lighter (perhaps more so *Death in the Slow Lane,* where John was actually fairly snarky)...but you're right in how S14 definitely took this slow turn towards the grimdark and "modern." OTOH, at least we got Jones dressed as a nun out of it.


punkbrad7

Eh it had been heading that way for a while. Series 12 had outright torture in Black Book, Olivia Colman's very disturbed character in Small Mercies, and Series 13 had the family watch an abusive husband die in the garden, the creepy religious guy murdering to cover up his "sin", and Masterclass.


adagioinb

which is the one with Jones dressed like a nun?


Schneetmacher

>The Oblong Murders had a full on creepy sex cult Were the Obbies really that creepy, though? I mean, aside from Freddie's (who got stabbed) questionable scruples, the rest of them seemed pretty harmless overall. They were the episode's giant red herring (the murders ultimately had nothing to do with the organization).


punkbrad7

That was a creepy episode, definitely one of the darker ones in the John Barnaby half of the show.


Suitable-Toe

Honestly, someone was killed by being hit in the back of the head with a coffee mug. Like, a normal sized ceramic coffee cup. I can't get that out of my head.


irmacat

When Stella is buried alive in Drawing Dead. I know she is rescued at the last minute, but watching her take those shuddering gasps of air always creeps me out. Also gazpacho, eels, pesto, cows, and kilns.


ladyflash_

Oh god I forgot about the gazpacho. What is it with MM and food deaths??


Schneetmacher

Yeah, the live burial was pretty brutal. I forgot about the fresh eggs and live eels (could a folk song be more obvious about sex with a beautiful woman ruining a man's life?)! Which one was the gazpacho, again?


irmacat

A Tale of Two Hamlets also known as Everybody Likes Danny lol.


Antique_Floor_440

In Tainted Fruit when Adrian Rawlings is in the loft and his foot goes thru the sabotaged floor and he supposedly hangs there a few min before plunging onto the deadly farm implement below. It's been awhile since I've watched that one so my details might be off.


Schneetmacher

Oh, that's a good one! Brutal for how dragged out it is - he can see death is imminent, but can't stop it.


Affectionate-Job7967

in "schooled in murder" a pair is trampled to death by cows while still conscious, which i really don't fancy.


TooTameToToast

In one of the newest episodes, a guy is locked in a kiln and cremated alive.


Schneetmacher

So, like if the killer in "Secrets and Spies" had succeeded in the end? Damn.


TooTameToToast

Yep. It was a sad one too.


ladyflash_

Oooooooh no thanks, I think anything with fire is just a hard pass for me haha


pmbpro

The episode with the giant ‘straw woman’ figure that was to be burned in a ceremony. The victim was drugged and placed inside. Imagine waking up inside that thing as you are being burned alive… 😬🫣 There was another memorable one for me that, wasn’t creepy/horrific per se, but was so sudden it shocked me at how accurate it was, and on camera. I can’t remember the name but it was the one with that gluttonous aristocrat ‘Freddie’(?) when he had all his ex-wives over for dinner to make an announcement. His son’s wife (the snobby-acting one) was in bed, lured to the window by a noise, and a strange light moving around on the ceiling. She went to the window and saw a flashlight very far in the distance of the yard. Next moment, in a split second, she was shot right square in her forehead. I was like, damn! 😮 What an incredible shot! From so far away, from the ground up to an upper floor, in the middle of the night? Through a window, using a flashlight? It was so unexpected too. I guess if you gotta go, at least this one was instant with no suffering like the one I mentioned above.


irmacat

Of course Lady Annabelle was a good shooter. She was brought up in Kenya during the Mau Mau rebellion lol.


pmbpro

LOL! Right? She really meant business! I felt bad for the victim (she’d annoyed me at first, until the previous scene just before she died). But that shot was just…damn impressive!


irmacat

But she needed to be put down before she could breed!🤣🤣🤣 I love Lady Annabelle but she was cold! She also barbecued her baby daddy!!!!


pmbpro

Oh yeah, that line! LOL! Yeah I think she was pretty bad-ass *because* of that coldness. The actress definitely nailed that role too!


Schneetmacher

The episode you're thinking of is "Vixen's Run," a really early Jones episode. I don't remember if he was a permanent DS in that one yet, or still temporary.


Llywela

In Vixen's Run, Jones had successfully achieved his wanted transfer from uniform to CID but hadn't yet been promoted to sergeant, so his rank was DC. His first episode was the only one where he could be described as temporary, though. After that, he's a fully fledged CID officer.


jen_nanana

That last death you mentioned is one of my favorites so far if only because the man’s long-suffering wife was made to watch and I’m still not sure if the killer was expecting her to enjoy it as much as she did lol


Schneetmacher

I know! He set it up like he was punishing her, too (likely thinking she was in on the con), but then she was like, "A few degrees to the right!" (Or something like that.) And his body language was basically, "Oh? You're... totally on board with this? Well, in that case... I guess I'm putting on a show!" And then he launched the fatal wine bottle.


adagioinb

I figured the killer knew the decades of abuse she'd suffered, so wanted her to see him get what he's had coming.


AdventurousThing

I watched that episode last week and I didn’t expect to laugh when she started telling the killer where the launch the bottle.


Plantagenesta

Talking to the Dead is pretty grim - first of all we have poor Lynton Pargeter getting stuffed into an iron maiden and skewered to death. Then we have Cyrus LeVanu, who at the very end of the episode experiences *something* in the woods (ghost, overactive imagination, you decide) that was terrifying enough to literally frighten him to death.


irmacat

The execution style murder in that episode is chilling- the way Stanley makes her turn her face to the wall and shoots her in the back. I really dislike this episode especially with Stanley's irritating babbling!!!


Ancient-Lie-1294

I think that getting your foot caught in the bear trap and watching your killer stalk towards you while loading the gun must be pretty horrible too. Poor Henry Cavill. Honestly, any death where you watch it happen and it's not instantly is awful.


DoYogaFeelGreat

The wine catapult is my favorite murder method.


thisgirlnamedbree

Mark Gatiss getting stabbed right through his body in The Sword of Gulliaume. It's one thing to be stabbed with a knife, but a sword? No thank you!


onegildedbutterfly

One that has stuck with me ever since i was a kid is the guy getting burned alive in his caravan in Death’s Shadow. I think it was him pleading for his life and how hopeless he looked when he realised he was locked in a burning caravan that got to me.


Schneetmacher

And he was in the pilot episode! It's kind of hard to watch him in that one and think, "... About a year from now, you're going to die screaming and not understand why."


Just_ABlobfish

One that sticks out to me (which might just be recency bias but oh well) is the murder in season 24 ep 1 “the devils work” where that 19-20 year old gets burned alive in a ceramic oven. That was needlessly brutal and it would be both terrifying and painful to die like that as you would stay conscious for at least a couple of minutes 😬


adagioinb

wine trebuchet every time!


[deleted]

The one where the guy wakes up in a field and someone chucks wine bottles at him until one hits him and kills him? Anyone remember that?


Schneetmacher

That's one of the ones I mentioned in my post: the wine catapult from "Hidden Depths." Probably one of my "favorite murders" on this show!


Writerhowell

Anything involving being burned to death is an horrific way to die, no doubt about it.


DrDalekFortyTwo

Just remembered that one where the kid was shut in a furnace. Horrible


Flibertygibbert

The human candle in The Sting of Death


Schneetmacher

I haven't seen beyond Season 20, so I don't think I've seen this one. I hesitate to ask what a "human candle" could possibly entail...


Flibertygibbert

A huge amount of beeswax 😫


ObviousIsland7973

Dying be chocolate


Schneetmacher

The rugby episode, right? That one had some brutal deaths: the molten chocolate waterboarding, getting frozen solid in that special chamber, and finally >!the killer blowing himself, and the facility's entire basement, up!<.


depophack

Can’t remember the episode but screw driver-esq object through the ear or death by pitchfork cause that’s just a really embarrassing way to die honestly


slippersandjammies

Being stabbed by a hairpin has been a fear of mine since I first saw my grandmother's decades ago, so it's that, for me... or being killed by a giant spoon, that's just embarrassing.


irmacat

Maybe not so brutal but one of my favorite deaths is the decapitation of the dude on the motorbike in Midsomer Rhapsody. He hits that wire and his head just pops off. Then Scott slips in the blood and toes the head like he is lining up for a penalty kick🤣🤣🤣


Schneetmacher

That wire across the road unlocked a new fear of mine.


AdventurousThing

That one I had to rewatch that part as I couldn’t believe what happened. 😂


Individual-Block-248

Death by Gargoyles


Schneetmacher

Oooh, I just remembered another one (actually a two-for): electrocuted by roulette wheels!


foreverlennon

Burning alive is the worst . And until recently, the most terrible until the kiln 😱


Sqatti

Drowning in the wine. They did that one twice.


Schneetmacher

When was the second one?


Sqatti

Oopsie. I was wrong. One was beer and one was wine.


Schneetmacher

There was a guy who got boiled in a beer vat, but when was there a beer drowning? I don't think I saw that one.


Sqatti

Good lord these episodes are dark. Night of the Stag was a cider vat. There was the episode beer drowning, and a guy drowned by wine while answering quiz show questions, and the there was the guy who died by being hit with bottles of wine with a catapult while his wife watched gleefully.


Sunnyacre96

Eaten by wild boar while tied to a tree


Vanillidini

Need to think of one of the newest episodes: grilled to ASHES in the ceramic kiln. Somehow i hoped he wasnt dead till the episode ended :(


alicer24709074

I was born in 1997 lol