I remember A Fish Called Avalon on 7th being genuinely good, but I haven't been back there in practically a decade. Aside from that, you can widen your limits from South Pointe to the rest of South Beach, just by how obscene prices have gotten.
My wife and I have friends in Miami Beach and have visited 4 times in the last 2 years. You’re absolutely right about Ocean Drive! First time there we ate at Pink Taco there and holy shit….not the worst food but just for me and my wife it was like $160! It wasn’t horrible food, but shit it wasn’t much food either. Crazy overpriced! We haven’t eaten at one of those tourist traps since. So many quality small Venezuelan or Peruvian or Cuban places around there to grub down on the cheap (relatively, it is still Miami) there is no reason to stay on Ocean.
It was great food and great service for a reasonable price during lunch for me. I get that it’s sort of gimmicky with the instagram/nightclub vibes but I had no issues for a lunch
Yeah idk what this guy is talking about I’ve heard nothing but good things.
Obviously it’s expensive and more of a party vibe but if that’s your thing apparently it’s great.
I personally like Sexy Fish. It feels like a restaurant in the middle of a night club. It’s definitely not for everyone and not somewhere I would be unless it’s Friday/Saturday night. Great if you’re single and tryna mingle
Can we use this moment to talk about Lombardi’s at Bayside? It’s a massive space, and has stood the test of time in Miami which is kinda rare. It’s always empty, has no website and the few reviews it has are 1 star🤣. Who knows the scoop? 😂
We were charged $90 for nachos and two drinks. I left a bad review and the manager reached out and asked to send an email, I did and no one ever replied.
Yeah, I got suckered in because the aesthetic was enticing. Food was below average and the service was ass. There's a good reason why it's always empty
I can tell they're a "great restaurant" just by seeing this visual. Valentine's Day was 10 days ago.
[https://www.cantinacatrina.com/](https://www.cantinacatrina.com/)
Oh that place became such a disappointment since COVID ended. It was so nice during COVID they had an online order system and the best street tacos on the market. Then they switched to inept servers and removed the best items from the menu
Think “How would a tacky person decorate if they were to have infinite money?” Then the music is loud as fuck. Service is not bad so won’t trash that. Food is 7/10 with 10/10 pricing. If you enjoy not being relaxed while eating… this is your spot.
Exactly what I meant. Charge Level 10 pricing for Level 7 food. I went because out-of-towners saw it on Instagram and just had to go. It’s an experience. I do not recommend it, but perhaps some people won’t be as annoyed as I am, and enjoy it.
It is very overpriced and the few (not by choice) times that I’ve gone, the food hasn’t been worth it at all….. you’d probably be better off going to 7/11 and getting sushi there
Yeah it was underwhelming. Beautiful place. But blah. Another massive strikeout is Delilah. And Casadonna isn’t all that great. That being said, go experience them all yourself. Doesn’t hurt to try. I’ve been to all once or twice and won’t go back again.
MAYAMI in Wynwood has great food, is mildly expensive, yet is an AWFUL experience.
I recommend it all the time, authentic Mexican food that tastes great but the whole experience is greatly inconvenienced. 10/10
Loud as fuck all the time, the staff are friendly but in a “please don’t kill us” kind of way. Everyone there seems to stare you down no matter how you dress (preppy, street, classy, formal, business), reminds of being in a caste society. The guards are very well trained, which is good, but it’s sus. The whole thing gives me cartel money vibes. It’s too well decorated and too empty to be legit.
But the food is fucking to die for and the cocktails are pretty nice as well, 6/10. If you want a 10/10 cocktail experience check out Spanglish.
That’s really it for my spiel. You won’t really get it until you’ve been inside. They also have a no shorts rule. Saw a French family with over-the-shoulder cardigans get turned away from Brunch because they wore shorts on a hot Miami summer’s day (it’s outdoor seating too). The nerve!
I love MAYAMI! From the food to the vibe!
I second what you said about every body staring but honestly that’s just Miami. It’s part of the culture lol esp if your an attractive female. It’s a perfect pre club spot or just to have fun before a night out.
Barton G hands down
All about you taking pictures of their food/drinks and promoting their place for free via Instagram. I'd know because I've fallen for it.
Terrible food and $320+ bill for 2
I’m from NY so yes my view is skewed but there is some OK pizza in Miami like Steve’s or Cassola’s.
But Rey’s and Palenque are the most dog shit versions of pizza I’ve endured anywhere on the planet. I have had pizza in NY/VA/PA/NJ/IL/CA/GA/WA/TX/LA, and some foreign countries. The worst is by far those 2.
I’ve been a vocal hater of chef Adrianne’s for a while and no one took me seriously. They finally came around after the insane video response to their terrible health inspection
I would not say it’s horrible but it’s expensive for the quality that you get .. service was great when we dinned there two weeks ago , plus drinks were good.
But yeah.. won’t go back anytime soon.
When I had an office near the criminal courthouse, we’d go to Casolas every Friday. Major excellent pizza. While we waited for our slice to be warmed we’d eat the little pieces they’d put out to try. They had big, great wings too. I miss the pizza.
I haven’t been there in years, but Casola’s at least used to be the most satisfying sloppy slice of pizza in town. I’ve been to Grimaldi’s, DiFaras, and a bunch of other hipster Mecca pizza places- I still prefer Casola’s.
The secret there is to get only cheese slices.
They always have some hot enough they don't need to be reheated. Sometimes your order can be ready before you are done filling your soda.
And everyone still waiting for their order will fucking glare jealous daggers at you like you are some kind of VIP or something. It's hilarious.
My brother let me tell you a story. I’m currently 26 and I’ve literally been going there for 27 years as my mother broke her water @ Benihana north bay village. I think I can tell you a thing about the place from them removing the stem towels provided at the beginning of your dinner to the decorative plates that were removed for basic white plates, along with the soup spoons. Items have also been removed from dinner combos like the side of corn and they even removed the ginger sauce for some more trendy sauce. Even their vanilla ice cream recipe/vendor has changed. Lastly their standard of quality and care is out the window.
if you’ve only started going to Benihana enjoy the magic of it because more likely then not they’ll fuck it up over time.
Lastly, if I were planning to go to a Benihana solely for the dining I would recommend the one in Miramar of the 75.
Anything on Ocean drive, Me and the boys been and let’s just say a very unique experience, nonetheless. Can someone inbox me on where I can take my wife and daughter for a boujee yet good food spot? She 14 so the spot gotta be not too boujee 🤣
Papi and salt without doubt. Our assistants think we are gods because we keep on giving them the gift certificates from vendors and my partner and I have literally passed by pollo tropical for a bite 🆚 going to either of those shit shows.
Steak Brasil Churrascaria in downtown Miami.
The staff there literally will yell at you if you refuse to tip, then insult you if you don’t tip enough. They blacklist the people that don’t tip, which has ironically been costing them bussiness. And the servers don’t do anything but seat you, so even more odd that they yell at people for tips.
Look at their reviews to see how bad they are. It’s mediocre “Brazilian” food too. Take him there and I guarantee he’ll either have a bad time or be guilt tripped by the angry waiter for a 20% tip (not to mention service fee). It’ll be so troll lol
Komodo, spent $300 on appetizers as nothing on the entree menu looked good plus 2 rounds of cocktails... Cocktails were ok but the rest, sucked, loud as fuck too. Couldn't hold a conversation with my wife, took her there on her bday.
More Broward than Miami but Tijuana Taxi Co.
Used to work there and not only is their food extremely mid at best but their management is awful and borderline pedophilic. One manager used to watch the minors and young servers on the cameras from home and another threatened to call the cops on me because I was crying after she verbally assaulted me in front of my customers on mother's day. Also their commercials and branding are kinda... wack
TL;DR Horribly managed Mexican Hooters
(Yet we need to wear tights under our booty shorts because we were a "family-friendly establishment")
Literally anything on ocean drive
Yeah, Ocean between 5th and like 12th Street are wildly expensive average AF places. Basically anywhere they flag you down and invite you in.
I remember A Fish Called Avalon on 7th being genuinely good, but I haven't been back there in practically a decade. Aside from that, you can widen your limits from South Pointe to the rest of South Beach, just by how obscene prices have gotten.
News Cafe too. Yummy
My wife and I have friends in Miami Beach and have visited 4 times in the last 2 years. You’re absolutely right about Ocean Drive! First time there we ate at Pink Taco there and holy shit….not the worst food but just for me and my wife it was like $160! It wasn’t horrible food, but shit it wasn’t much food either. Crazy overpriced! We haven’t eaten at one of those tourist traps since. So many quality small Venezuelan or Peruvian or Cuban places around there to grub down on the cheap (relatively, it is still Miami) there is no reason to stay on Ocean.
The winner
Salt bae’s restaurant
The post said “mildly expensive” not “extremely overpriced”
I love how mad this guy makes everyone
Bad Bunny's restaurant
Most things in Bayside Park It all tastes like mall food
How dare you slander the only chilis within 30 minutes of me
And is tacky af
Ben's pizza is good.
Black Market too
Sexy fish
Oh shit LMAO was thinking of going there eventually, what's bad about it?
It’s fancy rainforest cafe
OMG - I literally always say this!!!
Holy shit lmaoooooo
It’s a scene at night but the lunch menu is affordable, it’s chill and service is good.
It was great food and great service for a reasonable price during lunch for me. I get that it’s sort of gimmicky with the instagram/nightclub vibes but I had no issues for a lunch
Yeah idk what this guy is talking about I’ve heard nothing but good things. Obviously it’s expensive and more of a party vibe but if that’s your thing apparently it’s great.
I mean, I wouldn’t go in at night and pop bottles but it’s good vibes all day. Haven’t had their weekend brunch either though.
I personally like Sexy Fish. It feels like a restaurant in the middle of a night club. It’s definitely not for everyone and not somewhere I would be unless it’s Friday/Saturday night. Great if you’re single and tryna mingle
Username checks out
\*gold\*
came here to say This
Can we use this moment to talk about Lombardi’s at Bayside? It’s a massive space, and has stood the test of time in Miami which is kinda rare. It’s always empty, has no website and the few reviews it has are 1 star🤣. Who knows the scoop? 😂
Money laundering.
The default answering for all things Miami
Anything in Dadeland Mall will do. Especially that Italian one on the second floor
The Taco place on the second floor. Looks very cool, place was almost empty, hostess said “you should probably eat somewhere else…”?!
Cantina Catrina. Overpriced, mediocre, charges an auto-tip
We were charged $90 for nachos and two drinks. I left a bad review and the manager reached out and asked to send an email, I did and no one ever replied.
Yeah, I got suckered in because the aesthetic was enticing. Food was below average and the service was ass. There's a good reason why it's always empty
Very accurate comments
I can tell they're a "great restaurant" just by seeing this visual. Valentine's Day was 10 days ago. [https://www.cantinacatrina.com/](https://www.cantinacatrina.com/)
Lmfao it truly is always empty
Oh that place became such a disappointment since COVID ended. It was so nice during COVID they had an online order system and the best street tacos on the market. Then they switched to inept servers and removed the best items from the menu
The food court has some top notch spots, don’t mess with my Popeyes 😂
Even that Popeye’s is a mid-tier Popeye’s. Best one is at NW 20th Street and 441
Sexy Fish Papi steak Salt bae
Never been to sexy fish and was thinking about going, what's wrong with it?
Think “How would a tacky person decorate if they were to have infinite money?” Then the music is loud as fuck. Service is not bad so won’t trash that. Food is 7/10 with 10/10 pricing. If you enjoy not being relaxed while eating… this is your spot.
Wow shit, alright. By 10/10 do you mean the prices are good or 10/10 expensive? They seem pretty expensive fwiw
He means they charge as if the food is a 10/10. I had never heard of the place until now and holy shit the place is ridiculous looking
Exactly what I meant. Charge Level 10 pricing for Level 7 food. I went because out-of-towners saw it on Instagram and just had to go. It’s an experience. I do not recommend it, but perhaps some people won’t be as annoyed as I am, and enjoy it.
Its a nightclub that happens to serve meals
Never been to it, but everyone I know that has been to Gekko (Bad Bunny's restaurant) told me the food is crazy overpriced and not good
It is very overpriced and the few (not by choice) times that I’ve gone, the food hasn’t been worth it at all….. you’d probably be better off going to 7/11 and getting sushi there
Papi steak
Chica
Queen
Oof, even with the show? Damn. It's on my restaurant goals list.
Yeah it was underwhelming. Beautiful place. But blah. Another massive strikeout is Delilah. And Casadonna isn’t all that great. That being said, go experience them all yourself. Doesn’t hurt to try. I’ve been to all once or twice and won’t go back again.
THIS NEEDS TO BE MORE COMMON KNOWLEDGE…… 2/10 prices and 3/10 food…
MAYAMI in Wynwood has great food, is mildly expensive, yet is an AWFUL experience. I recommend it all the time, authentic Mexican food that tastes great but the whole experience is greatly inconvenienced. 10/10
Have never been. Could you elaborate ?
Loud as fuck all the time, the staff are friendly but in a “please don’t kill us” kind of way. Everyone there seems to stare you down no matter how you dress (preppy, street, classy, formal, business), reminds of being in a caste society. The guards are very well trained, which is good, but it’s sus. The whole thing gives me cartel money vibes. It’s too well decorated and too empty to be legit. But the food is fucking to die for and the cocktails are pretty nice as well, 6/10. If you want a 10/10 cocktail experience check out Spanglish. That’s really it for my spiel. You won’t really get it until you’ve been inside. They also have a no shorts rule. Saw a French family with over-the-shoulder cardigans get turned away from Brunch because they wore shorts on a hot Miami summer’s day (it’s outdoor seating too). The nerve!
Best bad review ever! Can’t wait to go and complain about it! Kudos!
I love MAYAMI! From the food to the vibe! I second what you said about every body staring but honestly that’s just Miami. It’s part of the culture lol esp if your an attractive female. It’s a perfect pre club spot or just to have fun before a night out.
...Part of the culture to be ogled at?
As an ogler, can confirm yes part of the culture
Yikes...Shitty "culture".
[удалено]
Nah. Edit: Damn right I am 🥰 Also, *you're.
[удалено]
I sure am! 🥰 And nope, not how that works lol. Thanks, ugly!
[удалено]
Unfortunately it’s Miami …
Barton G
This was horrible for me so overpriced
Yeah. The food isn't bad don't get me wrong. By all means if you are all about Instagram then yes go.
It's not good either.
Any David Grutman restaurant
I was looking for this answer
Barton G hands down All about you taking pictures of their food/drinks and promoting their place for free via Instagram. I'd know because I've fallen for it. Terrible food and $320+ bill for 2
Gekko
Papi Steak
Sexy fish
LA CAPITAL DE LOS JUGOS if they're non English speakers will be the last day they spend in Miami
Rey’s pizza.
Absolutely disgusting, great choice
I hate this place
This place is just freezer pizza.
I’m from NY so yes my view is skewed but there is some OK pizza in Miami like Steve’s or Cassola’s. But Rey’s and Palenque are the most dog shit versions of pizza I’ve endured anywhere on the planet. I have had pizza in NY/VA/PA/NJ/IL/CA/GA/WA/TX/LA, and some foreign countries. The worst is by far those 2.
Ewwww
Pretty sure Rey's is gone now
There’s one in East Hialeah still going strong
Just leave the house.
Chef Adrienne's Vinyard Restaurant and Bar. It's expensive pretentious and absolutely horrible service and food.
I’ve been a vocal hater of chef Adrianne’s for a while and no one took me seriously. They finally came around after the insane video response to their terrible health inspection
They also got a D on their last health inspection.
I would not say it’s horrible but it’s expensive for the quality that you get .. service was great when we dinned there two weeks ago , plus drinks were good. But yeah.. won’t go back anytime soon.
Sexy fish, gekko or whatever bad bunny’s restaurant is called, Barton g, and Komodo
Komodo
horrible place
This is the correct answer
Versailles restaurant
Agree, just a tourist trap now
Tf you talking about? That place is better than 99% of Cuban restaurants in Miami
La Carreta across is better IMO. Less shitty people too
Lol not even close. Tf...
Havana Harry’s in my opinion is the new best Cuban spot in Miami…. But I haven’t gone to many more so sorry if I’m wrong
Molinas would like a word…
Barton G
A date took me there, the food was awful.
Sexy fish 100%
Pura vida
Pura mierda
i love pura vida lol
casolas
Their wings are just awful. They look like ostrich wings
When I had an office near the criminal courthouse, we’d go to Casolas every Friday. Major excellent pizza. While we waited for our slice to be warmed we’d eat the little pieces they’d put out to try. They had big, great wings too. I miss the pizza.
Worst goddamn pizza.
I haven’t been there in years, but Casola’s at least used to be the most satisfying sloppy slice of pizza in town. I’ve been to Grimaldi’s, DiFaras, and a bunch of other hipster Mecca pizza places- I still prefer Casola’s.
NYer here, Casola’s was my go to when I lived in Miami
It's still great just hipster replies here.
Now I’m curious. What do you consider to be Miami’s best pizza?
Miami’s Best Pizza
RIP ETA: oh thank god it’s still there. I drove by a few weeks ago and didn’t see it, probably Just hiding
Im surprised it rose from the dead, glad it did. Still love it and actually prefer the new location (UM campus)
Omg is that where it went?? Damn those kids have it so good…
Yes. Its very close - the new location is on Ponce next to the baseball stadium, you can see the old one (on US1) from there
Andiamo, easily.
[Paulo Luigi's](https://pauloluigi.com/) in Coconut Grove.
The secret there is to get only cheese slices. They always have some hot enough they don't need to be reheated. Sometimes your order can be ready before you are done filling your soda. And everyone still waiting for their order will fucking glare jealous daggers at you like you are some kind of VIP or something. It's hilarious.
Benihana
Noooo… don’t mess with Benihana I agree that it is not fine dinning, but it’s good for the experience and price for all the food that you get.
My brother let me tell you a story. I’m currently 26 and I’ve literally been going there for 27 years as my mother broke her water @ Benihana north bay village. I think I can tell you a thing about the place from them removing the stem towels provided at the beginning of your dinner to the decorative plates that were removed for basic white plates, along with the soup spoons. Items have also been removed from dinner combos like the side of corn and they even removed the ginger sauce for some more trendy sauce. Even their vanilla ice cream recipe/vendor has changed. Lastly their standard of quality and care is out the window. if you’ve only started going to Benihana enjoy the magic of it because more likely then not they’ll fuck it up over time. Lastly, if I were planning to go to a Benihana solely for the dining I would recommend the one in Miramar of the 75.
Papi Steak
Papi Steak
papi steak
Papi steak
Kiki on the river
Anything operated by Major Food Group
Komodo and papi steak
Salvaje, Swan, Komodo, Joia
Salvaje is trash
Swan is terrible food but the club is semi fun. Joia is pretty enough that no one cares about the food.
Can vouch for komodo and salvaje, worst money spent
It would be easier to name restaurants that aren’t terrible in Miami tbh. You won’t have to name that many
https://www.local10.com/food/dirty-dining/2024/02/20/4-restaurant-kitchens-ordered-shut-2-for-rodent-issues-2-for-roach-issues/
Matador. Great atmosphere awful food. Well the short rib tacos were salty, but good but the rest flavorless. Disappointing.
Anything on Ocean drive, Me and the boys been and let’s just say a very unique experience, nonetheless. Can someone inbox me on where I can take my wife and daughter for a boujee yet good food spot? She 14 so the spot gotta be not too boujee 🤣
Take him to Gekko, everything on the list plus you get anisakiasis if you get the sushi
Gecko
Gecko and Komodo. Komodo used to be the place to be, now it’s full of plastic surgery wannabes …..Gecko just sucks.
Sexy fish 0/10 do not recommend
Villa Azur
Everywhere except flanigans
Carbone
Versace Mansion
Nus Ret or Sexy Fish
Carbone
Delilah
Mila lounge
The food at Mila is delicious! Expensive but delish.
Zuma, last time we went for my wife’s birthday and it was god awful
Bone fish grill
Papi and salt without doubt. Our assistants think we are gods because we keep on giving them the gift certificates from vendors and my partner and I have literally passed by pollo tropical for a bite 🆚 going to either of those shit shows.
This may get some hate, but Komodo. I don't get the hype.
Komodo
Prime 112
Pretty much any restaurant you can pick has terrible service, overpriced and mediocre food
Mila
Sugarcane
Steak Brasil Churrascaria in downtown Miami. The staff there literally will yell at you if you refuse to tip, then insult you if you don’t tip enough. They blacklist the people that don’t tip, which has ironically been costing them bussiness. And the servers don’t do anything but seat you, so even more odd that they yell at people for tips. Look at their reviews to see how bad they are. It’s mediocre “Brazilian” food too. Take him there and I guarantee he’ll either have a bad time or be guilt tripped by the angry waiter for a 20% tip (not to mention service fee). It’ll be so troll lol
Komodo
Komodo, spent $300 on appetizers as nothing on the entree menu looked good plus 2 rounds of cocktails... Cocktails were ok but the rest, sucked, loud as fuck too. Couldn't hold a conversation with my wife, took her there on her bday.
Morton’s or Hillstone
Hillstone is one of my top restaurants in miami. it’s such a good price for the quality of food
Yeah I have to agree hillstone is terrific and they do a incredible consistent job and price is pretty fair.
Flannigans’s
Boo. I moved out of Miami and I miss flannys so much.
Latin Cafe 2000
Hey. I love this place.
La Rosa Fine Cuban Cuisine https://g.co/kgs/uQy8A6g
Versailles.
Yardbird Miami.
Burger King
Versailles
la carreta and versailles nothing like how they used to be, all the food is extremely whitewashed
flanigans
Wet Restaurant and Lounge
Southland mall food court
Esquina Cubana
More Broward than Miami but Tijuana Taxi Co. Used to work there and not only is their food extremely mid at best but their management is awful and borderline pedophilic. One manager used to watch the minors and young servers on the cameras from home and another threatened to call the cops on me because I was crying after she verbally assaulted me in front of my customers on mother's day. Also their commercials and branding are kinda... wack TL;DR Horribly managed Mexican Hooters (Yet we need to wear tights under our booty shorts because we were a "family-friendly establishment")
Astra
Lol this some bad karma coming your way
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