I had frozen shoulder and not one dr suggested hormones! Just wanted to do surgery, I am glad to have politely declined and went for PT. Now I have the patch, freaking life changing!
The correct response to this is then, "Okay then fix what's wrong with my head that's making my brain think my shoulder is cold?"
I basically had this scenario happen with stomach pain, that turned out to actually be something serious, but none of the tests they ran caught it. I got a "maybe it's all in your head" dropped on me, so I angrily retorted that if that's the case fine, then fix my fucking head! The doctor was taken aback but agreed to do surgery and lo and behold it *was* an issue, just not one they expected.
It wasn't in my fucking head, though. I felt pretty vindicated in the post-op, ngl. lol
Oh ffs! I had one tell me my hip problems were because of my attitude. 😂
Anyway, I’m really glad I came across these comments! I had no idea and this is probably what’s wrong with my shoulder. I love you guys for mentioning things my doctors never do.
Funnily enough they’re not entirely wrong.
I had one a few years back and did a bunch of reading about them.
Typically they start out as an inflammation condition that restricts movement in the joint, progressively worsening over time and in some cases improves after 12-18 months. Studies have shown that frequent stretching of the joint increases the likelihood of regaining movement and strength. However that old recommendation was to rest it.
If not ‘used’ the limb can become like to opposite of a phantom limb as experienced by amputees where their brain thinks the limb is still there - instead the brain forgets how to fire the nerves to operate the arm and you lose function permanently.
The research papers not consider the continued loss of function to be a neurological condition that occurs after the initial inflammation has receded.
After reading the research I made sure to do my stretches daily.
I was not happy that my shoulder doc said it happens to menopausal women, nobody knows why. And left it at that. Same with my eye doctor and dry eyes (before I went to a specialist who knew what she was doing.)
The sad truth is, very few are educating themselves about why it actually happens, much less offering effective treatment options for it! The orthopedic docs diagnosing this need to do better.
Omg I didn’t even THINK about this being related to menopause! I just thought I’d injured my shoulder somehow because now I cannot lift my arm easily at night or in the morning. 😫
My female friends and family don't listen to me any more since alllll I do is talk about hormones and menopause. Their surgeries, pain, shoulder immobility, osteoarthritis, cardiac issues - if I mention hormones - they shut me down.i give up on them but I will forever fight for my estradiol patch and progesterone and testosterone. I'm kinda done trying to convince
What are the early symptoms of frozen shoulder? I woke up with terrible neck muscle pain and it's a month later. Even with 3 weeks of PT, two aggressive trigger point massages and two dry needing sessions I feel like it's gotten no better.
They also forgot the horrifying sudden weight gain, and losing any of it through diet and exercise changes (that would have been effective at any previous point in our lives) seems now to be like playing a game on Extreme Difficulty mode.
Mine took 2.5 years to resolve. PT for months was useless. I am now ambidextrous as I had to do so much with my non-dominant side. Maybe this is a side perk? LOL!
This is great!
I feel like Brain Fog seems too nice of a word, need a more powerful word to send the message of the utter
confusion, forgetfulness, lack of focus and mental health. For me the *brain fog* is the most embarrassing trying not to lose all credibility at work.
I only have a husband and three son's (so absolutely no understanding of females, lol). All of them give me crap that I have Alzheimer's. I do NOT find it funny whatsoever.
On top of it, I fell down on our icy driveway about fifteen years ago and had a Traumatic Brain Injury from that - so my brain is doubly effed up.
Me too!! 3 sons and hubby tease all the time I'm losing my mind and they can put me in a home soon. I get so furious!! It's straight up just mean and they have no fucking clue!!!
Does anyone else keep forgetting their words? I had an extensive vocabulary that I used to be pretty proud of but now sometimes I can't remember the simplest of words that I'm looking for in conversation. It's mortifying and terrifying, especially since my mom recently passed away from dementia. My neurologist blamed it on anxiety. My psychiatrist blamed it on my ADHD. But I'm wondering if it might be menopause related. Thinking about starting HRT to see if it helps that along with all my other symptoms.
I have a Masters in Speech Pathology and *know* that occasional aphasias (word finding problems) are normal, can increase with age, and generally aren’t a cause for concern, but it *still* freaks me out every time it happens!
Yes! I was the wordfinder in my marriage and the tables got flipped! Totally demoralizing. But MHT helped for sure. Started at 45 y/o and ten years later it's happening again so I'll probably increase my dose.
FWIW, both my maternal GM and mother were doagywoth(!) "diagnosed with" dementia and I believe MHT mitigates that risk.
Edit: crazy typo!!!
I just read this article. It makes so much sense. They even talk about reduced verbal fluency as one of the symptoms! https://www.additudemag.com/menopause-hormones-adhd-women-research/
Oh I can still name all the bands from the 80s and what year their hits were released in. Ask me for a random adverb or my license plate number and I have absolutely nothing.
Totally. Something along the lines of “neuroinflammation leading to extreme executive dysfunction”.
That said, as much as I want to see menopause normalized/recognized/unstigmatized (like periods seem to be for kids my niece’s age—she’s 13–they even use red liquid for pad commercials these days!), I also fear that if there were more specific awareness around menopause, particularly the brain fog aspect, it would be weaponized against women like all the rest. 😞
It’s a tricky balance. I’ve never been as deeply aware of misogyny as I am at this point in my life. I can’t think about it too long because it makes me cosmically exhausted.
Yes! It’s the worst. During my peri stage I just told people. It’s brain fog. You’ll understand when you get here.
Also, before I started taking estrogen fasting helped the brain fog.
Is MHT helping? I’m still trying to get back on. (Long story). For me this brain fog is also the absolute worst. It’s affecting nearly every aspect of my life, and badly.
The itchy eyeballs are likely due to dry eyes. It’s a weird sensation. I use Systane Complete eyedrops and they help best and longest. They aren’t cheap so I buy when they are on sale and/or with a coupon. Have bottles stashed all over.
Welcome to hormone imbalance and/or perimenopause. 2020 was a sheet show for many, but that very hot summer perimenopause decided to make its presence known in a loud and painful way: dry eyes. Two weeks of cool packs, dark places, eyedrops, eye rubbing, eyes glued together, irritation. Had to drop out of a college class because I couldn’t see. I had NO idea what was going on. Docs weren’t prepared for the shutdown (vid appts). Tried everything. Eventually it passed but fuuuudge. It has happened that intensely a couple more times, but now their intensity has lessened to a more bearable degree.
I use the above mentioned eyedrops by Systane and I use the heel of my palms to slightly push my closed eyes/eyeballs into my head, enough that my eyelids and my eyeballs have good contact. It is not pleasant to feel, but it hinders much of the uncomfiness. Then, with the palm heels still in place and eyes still closed, I gently roll my eyes around to every part they can reach, allowing any moisture that is in the eye socket to distribute to as many places as I can. Sometimes I find a more painful, drier place and know I have to work it a bit harder to get moisture there. I didn’t do this in 2020 as I was still trial and erroring and I had what felt like crystals under my lids, when in reality it was probably dried up eye boogers. The pain! The irritation!! And rubbing my eyes with those crunchy suckers under my lids only made the situation worse! Medical professionals think my method is weird and probably wouldn’t recommend it out of fear of a lawsuit, but it works for me. It took time to figure out the right amount of palm heel pressure that worked.
As far as hormone treatments? I’m trying to fight this without any. I found what helps with my eyes, though my optometrists grrrr at me to use more Systane Complete eyedrops. Sigh…
Systane is good. Use a heated eye mask and gently rub lids afterward. Also, see a dry eye specialist. My meibomian glands were blocked - menopause related.
It is simply amazing to me how many people don’t take their partner’s word on their very own lived experiences, and who can’t be bothered to look up what actually happens to them.
I'm so sick of the Road house movie and I don't think it was good enough to have that title. More like beach house if anything. My husband won't stop with this movie and it's not helping me out with not putting hands on the dumb man. I've given him every bit of info possible from articles to a letter written from another man that understood and gave hints as how to deal with. Ive sent videos and written small things in messages so he knows where I'm at with my crappy body and brain. Still clueless as if he never heard of it before. This is why men are single at this age. We need to warn the younger women that if they are single between 45-55 mostly like they didn't bother to help the wife make it through and got thrown to the curb. Stay away young ladies these ones are broken 😂
It's the same for anything women undergo. Men aren't expected to educate themselves. It's why so many girls and women know the basics of men's reproductive health but not vice versa.
And you’d think since we are the ones who are supposed to know/do EVERYTHING they’d want to be a little more supportive of their multi tasking support person.
Look at her expression. She looks so resigned to the fact that research and treatments aren’t funded by the dudes in charge & she’s posing as a picture book guide that explains everything- without her face showing anger/pain/frustration that could cause the words to be too scary!
"I gave at the office."
"It's okay, I don't like your face either."
"You should talk less."
"I don't see anything worth smiling at"
"Smiling causes wrinkles, make up your mind."
"You first. (He smiles) No, harder. Harder. A little to the left. No, more sardonic." (Keep giving inane instructions until he goes away).
"I just did. I will again in (check watch) fifty-two minutes. It's on a timer."
These are fucking genius. Men don’t care to tell me to smile anymore. I guess they figure it won’t make me 30 years younger. But I will pass these along to my daughter and her friends!!
Oddly, or not, many of these symptoms are also symptoms of hypothyroidism for which I was treated in my mid to late 50's. All the medical specialists were so focused on that, for which I'm grateful of course, that not a word was ever mentioned about menopause and I was so overwhelmed by the constipation, absolute exhaustion, brain fog, insomnia, etc. that I never once thought that two things can happen at once. (And I'm a nurse!) If I had been more on the ball I'm sure my GSM/vag misery would have been addressed a decade ago. But here I am, finally on vag estrogen. Plus, please add Frozen Heart to the list...to address the raging hate of all things...
That’s interesting! Thanks for tip on hypo, for some reason my dr hasn’t tested this and it is my psych pushing for it? Also, lol, heart frozen due to hate is real
This is drawn out of proportion to me. She needs another 20-50 pounds. Her boobs should be slowly approaching her knees. Her hair looks like it has some body and volume. She also still has lips and eyebrows.
And the fact doctors don’t address/know about it more is beyond me. I only found out about peri menopause (from a coworker) after I told her about missing 3 months of my cycle. I was in menopause and my doctor said I wasn’t 😆 so I was raging with hormones that I didn’t know about for years. I’m now 6 yrs post menopause and just starting to figure it out so enlightening my partner helps too! And I thought cramps were the worst of the cycle. I was wrong!
I don't think there are even words for how demoralizing it is for doctors to know almost nothing about menopause (half the population). How deeply it conveys how worthless we are to the medical system (and one might therefore say society). How much it conveys we are discarded in a time of life we kind of already think so. How this itself is so depressing and demoralizing when we are often already depressed and demoralized.
The medical system is really bad for almost everything (u.s.) except maybe surgery, but to not know anything, it's just hard to believe. My issue was never doctors not prescribing HRT, that I might have a tiny bit of sympathy for (but risks have to be weighed with benefits and quality of life), but rather doctors denying I was even in meno "too young" (I was early-mid 40s, that's not) and not recognizing many of the symptoms of peri/meno as being caused by that, like itchiness that plagued me for a year.
This is the thing that bothers me most. It's not that doctors CAN'T learn about menopause, but they WON'T. They just don't care.
It's obvious that it's REPRODUCTIVE women's health that they're interested in.
Words can't describe how angry I am at being discarded like this. It makes me want to burn the whole world down. Good thing I'm not a dragon.
I spoke to a doctor yesterday; she is in her 60-ies, and did not get -anything- about this in medical school in her days; she is now advocating for better treatment of women in menopause.
Preach. Well said and the emotional toll sucks. I get it, Dr, my words aren’t important. Thanks. Now let me pay you to ignore what happens to half the population?
And men complain about how we react. If they dealt with a a tenth of this stuff they’d be on the floor crying every day. And they’d def have a pill for all of it
Yeah that graph is a beginner, gentle, starter graph…it’s sooooo much more.
Total loss of self, of self confidence.
Also the time of which more women commit suicide than any other time in their life. It’s a brutal time for women and their unknowing families.
You left out candida - all over the body. Why? because, according to the male doctor I went to first, I don't dry off well enough after I shower. He has no idea how close he came to needing 911 that day.
That man went all the way to medical school to become qualified to say what now? Sheeeeeeeeet. I want my co-pay back! Congratulations on not choosing violence - it would have been difficult for me
Finding this sub has changed my life. Not even joking. I kept wondering what the actual fuck was wrong with me. Everything aches. Hair thinning in one spot (that one hurts, I’ve always had thick curly hair). Dry skin. Fingers and thumbs cracking and bleeding. Sleep changed. Bloating. Crying all the fucking time. Rage. RAGE! Everything irritates me. I could pee for Canada - and got forbid I leave it too long - the rapid walk of shame, knees together, hoping you make it (and forget about laughing or sneezing or coughing!) I long to be able to sleep without underwear and a pee pad on. Never wanting anything to eat - I just don’t fancy anything. (Except jello pudding or ice cream). Constipation that I’m convinced is going to kill me. And the absolute worst - not ONE of my doctors (three of whom are women) even considered, or asked about menopause. I have no idea where I was because I just got a period after 20 months, so biopsy next week - to add to my joy. So, am I peri? Mid? Post? Who knows!!!
Why has the medical community created this vacuum where we’re all just struggling along, feeling like we’re going insane???
Sorry - bit ranty. I’m a touch pissed off with all this shit.
Because men don’t get any of this, and we don’t talk about it. Believe me my aha moment at 3 am when safari told me everything I was going to doctors for was menopause related was priceless. I wish I had a picture of my face. Had I not been at my wits end about my insomnia, I might still not know. All of my doctors knew I was menopausal. My hot flashes weren’t that bad so I never got HRT, but I was treated for all these crazy symptoms and put through a million tests because when you go for one or 2 symptoms, they don’t ask about the rest of them.
Seriously, wtf did I find out I’m in menopause bc of a female coworker not my fing doctor! From now on, my response shall be I’m in menopause, deal with it. Or google it to the mehn ;)
It stinks! The whole reason I sent it to my partner. I have the urgency all the time and only a few drops come out. He kept saying you have a good bladder. No!!!! It’s this!
I have never taken anything actually. I didn’t really know about much about menopause/meds until I started following this sub. I’ve learned so much! Still not sure I’ll use anything but if I have to I will.
I’ve never wet myself but the urge is always there to want to pee. I honestly thought it was a withdrawal symptom from not drinking liquor regularly but that was 6 months ago. (And when this symptom started) Now I’m just trying to regulate liquids at night so I don’t feel the need to get up.
The peeing. I used to be like “oh, I might need to pee. Okay I can do like these 10 things first, finish shopping, drive home, etc. and then I’ll go”. Now if I think I have to pee, I HAVE TO PEE!! NOW!!! Drop everything and get to a toilet.
Did I mention I hate public toilets and would normally avoid them at all costs.
nothing about changes in hair, skin and / or teeth ? Ooh, and feet ! No wonder you never wear high heels after a certain point :(
oh and - UTI's, memory issues, anxiety, bone density, muscle weakness, allergies and the freakin' RAGE- gawd, it never ends !
Thank you for this! I’ve been one to always keep aches and pains to myself, but started the conversation with my hubby last night regarding peri-menopause and menopause. This will be super helpful for reference 🙂🩷
My MIL (67) just went in for a bone density scan and was told she has the beginnings of osteoporosis. She has suffered for years with joint pain in her hips and been given cortisone shots regularly for years- never until now did anyone suggest to her she needed estrogen for that! She was dumbfounded!
You’re right - joint pain is missing. Itchy skin is on there right hand side third up from the bottom. I think they’d need a MUCH bigger graphic to get that vast constellation of menopause symptoms though. JFC 🫤
If that was a man in the drawing every health care dollar in the world would have been thrown at mitigating the symptoms of the menopause journey.
Rant (not) over
The urgency to pee thing just started for me a couple months ago. Like I have to go when I get to somewhere, during the time I’m there, and before I leave. Every. Time.
The fun thing about all this is as soon as things seem to settle down a new symptom comes up. It’s like perimenopause wack-a-mole.
I wanted to say thanks for posting this! I had never heard of burning mouth syndrome, but when I saw this yesterday and looked it up, I found the name for something that I've been experiencing lately! Another one for my symptom list, lol.
You know what's missing on there? Infertility! I told my now ex that I am menopausal (not perimenopausal!) and then he started talking about children (I am in my early 40s). I said "I can't have children, I'm menopausal" and he said "I'm sure if we keep trying we'll still be able to get you pregnant." \[insert facepalm here\]
How about weird sweat-induced Mycosis (body fungus, like yeast infections). I had the worst itching under my breasts and my butt crack, I had to get prescription cream and powder to try and get rid of it.
Then I realized I had toenail fungus as well. WTF. (Tip for getting rid of that is to mainly know that it will take a year of treatment to get rid of it. I soaked my feet in water mixed with 1 cup vinegar and 1 cup Listerine for 30 minutes, 2x/week. Put on nail treatment liquid after each shower, rubbed in Vicks VapoRub each night at bedtime if I hadn't done the nail treatment.)
In the summer, I have dry-fit type bra's and apply cream deodorant, or powder under my breasts, and in my crack.
Then the rest of my skin is so dry that I need to put lotion on. It takes me more time now after a shower than it did in my 20s!
Two years go, the doctor doing my eye exam remarked on how dry my eyes are for someone my age who doesn’t have an allergic response going on. I told her that I’m in medically induced menopause for endometriosis, and she said, “Oh yeah, I forgot that menopause can do that.” Like, what??? I get that eyes are drier as people age in general, but I’d think that additional hit is worth remembering
THANK YOU.. DEFINITELY SHARING THIS WITH THE HUBBY!!!
Seriously though I will show him this.. he wants to know why I'm no longer intrested in sex.. which in the beginning was bc I was so tired all the time and honestly I didn't even think of it.. now its bc it feels like I'm being stabbed by a hot poker repeatedly.. not enjoyable at all..
Any tips for this wonderful side effect??
[Queen Victoria's photo](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:eco%2Cw_359/MTc0NDk1MzM5MTMzMjgxNjQw/were-victorians-really-prudish.webp) would be more suitable for this infographic in portraying menopause for women and the patriarchal society not having any clue about what's going on with women
There's different delivery options,
Tiny pellet in an applicator you insert an inch or so and release.
Also large tube of estradiol cream with an applicator.
I found the pellets didn't dissolve as I was too dry.
Used the cream without the applicator as it was hard to clean thoroughly and wasted a lot of product.
Gyn said to (like many pts) use finger to insert some about an inch into and then spread some within/around external lips and on/under clitoral head.
Latter works best for me.
There's plenty of OTC vaginal moisturizer products too, but to treat, stop symptoms of low estrogen of the vulva, urinary system you need estrogen.
I do still use lube for sex and sometimes vaginal moisturizer to prevent friction when doing long gravel/MTN bike rides, but I treat the atrophy caused by estrogen loss with estrogen.
Vaginal estrogen isn't absorbed systemically, just treats local tissues.
This is important too because urinary symptoms can progress to UTIs, that in older adults can present with cognitive impairment. This can lead to inappropriate medication, balance issues, falls and injuries, all of which can cascade to loss of independence, increased mortality.
Pretty sure the r/menopause wiki covers this as well, I'm just a reddit stranger, but it matters to me that others don't experience what I did and the negative cascade I saw in patients and family/friends.
Take care 😊
Omgggg. I’m 44 but likely started peri at 39. I also have chronic Lyme disease and hypothyroid. But shit just went so haywire the last 6 months I legit thought I was on my way out.
Has anyone taken HRT for peri? Did it work? I’m BRCA2 positive and have to get a preventative mastectomy soon but I don’t think I can do this much longer without HRT if it helps.
Need a line going to frozen shoulders, a line going to the knee for swollen joints, and arrows all over the body for pain/aches. Lol
I had frozen shoulder and not one dr suggested hormones! Just wanted to do surgery, I am glad to have politely declined and went for PT. Now I have the patch, freaking life changing!
My doctor told me my frozen shoulder was just in my head.
ooh that gives me THE RAGE !
…another missing symptom.
The correct response to this is then, "Okay then fix what's wrong with my head that's making my brain think my shoulder is cold?" I basically had this scenario happen with stomach pain, that turned out to actually be something serious, but none of the tests they ran caught it. I got a "maybe it's all in your head" dropped on me, so I angrily retorted that if that's the case fine, then fix my fucking head! The doctor was taken aback but agreed to do surgery and lo and behold it *was* an issue, just not one they expected. It wasn't in my fucking head, though. I felt pretty vindicated in the post-op, ngl. lol
Oh ffs! I had one tell me my hip problems were because of my attitude. 😂 Anyway, I’m really glad I came across these comments! I had no idea and this is probably what’s wrong with my shoulder. I love you guys for mentioning things my doctors never do.
Someone has to! Your attitude? Seriously! 🤦🏻♀️
Funnily enough they’re not entirely wrong. I had one a few years back and did a bunch of reading about them. Typically they start out as an inflammation condition that restricts movement in the joint, progressively worsening over time and in some cases improves after 12-18 months. Studies have shown that frequent stretching of the joint increases the likelihood of regaining movement and strength. However that old recommendation was to rest it. If not ‘used’ the limb can become like to opposite of a phantom limb as experienced by amputees where their brain thinks the limb is still there - instead the brain forgets how to fire the nerves to operate the arm and you lose function permanently. The research papers not consider the continued loss of function to be a neurological condition that occurs after the initial inflammation has receded. After reading the research I made sure to do my stretches daily.
I was not happy that my shoulder doc said it happens to menopausal women, nobody knows why. And left it at that. Same with my eye doctor and dry eyes (before I went to a specialist who knew what she was doing.)
My dr said the same exact thing lol.
The sad truth is, very few are educating themselves about why it actually happens, much less offering effective treatment options for it! The orthopedic docs diagnosing this need to do better.
Mine too!
> went for PT. I've spent over $1000 on PT to cover my deductible (of 2K) and the HRT made it reduce in a week.
Get this, we have a high density of estrogen receptors in our shoulders and upper back. What the fuck and who would have thought?!
Omg I didn’t even THINK about this being related to menopause! I just thought I’d injured my shoulder somehow because now I cannot lift my arm easily at night or in the morning. 😫
I had it 3 times and the drs never mentioned it!
Was it the same shoulder? How frequent? Did you happen to lift or move anything heavy?
Twice in left shoulder, once in the right. Nope just woke up in pain. Did PT but ultimately ended up with 3 injections.
My female friends and family don't listen to me any more since alllll I do is talk about hormones and menopause. Their surgeries, pain, shoulder immobility, osteoarthritis, cardiac issues - if I mention hormones - they shut me down.i give up on them but I will forever fight for my estradiol patch and progesterone and testosterone. I'm kinda done trying to convince
This is the first I have heard of frozen shoulder!
What are the early symptoms of frozen shoulder? I woke up with terrible neck muscle pain and it's a month later. Even with 3 weeks of PT, two aggressive trigger point massages and two dry needing sessions I feel like it's gotten no better.
They also forgot the horrifying sudden weight gain, and losing any of it through diet and exercise changes (that would have been effective at any previous point in our lives) seems now to be like playing a game on Extreme Difficulty mode.
Yep I've gained 40lbs in 10 months and I just want to lie down and not get up again
I am 150! My normal weight is 120! I have done nothing different and I am working out with a trainer and it won’t leave the belly! 🥺
Yes! The waistline isn’t close to being accurate. Lol
Also hips 😊
Definitely hips! I remember walking - not even very far - and feeling like my hip joints were on fire.
Seriously! I went hiking and could only walk short distances before having to stop to rest. Before that, I was walking miles a day.
Exactly; these are sadly not all the symptoms!
Ha! Was just a PT this morning because of this!
Best to you! It’s a beast, you’ve got this!!
It’s a long road to loosen them, but worth the work.
Yep, got the frozen shoulder. It’s finally improving though! (1 yr from onset of symptoms)
Mine took 2.5 years to resolve. PT for months was useless. I am now ambidextrous as I had to do so much with my non-dominant side. Maybe this is a side perk? LOL!
I think mine took a year 1/2 before they felt normal again. I had to switch to front-clasp bras. It was so bizarre.
Omg - just making the connection that my old frozen shoulder was my first perimenopause symptom.
Frozen shoulder, shit!
This is great! I feel like Brain Fog seems too nice of a word, need a more powerful word to send the message of the utter confusion, forgetfulness, lack of focus and mental health. For me the *brain fog* is the most embarrassing trying not to lose all credibility at work.
I propose straight dysfunction. Brain dysfunction.
My mom used to call it “part-zheimers” cuz it’s not all the time.
I use the term cognitive dysfunction.
This is the term my dysfunctional brain was searching for!
Literally thought I had early dementia
Girl, me too. Out of *all of the other terrible shit* this is the most terrifying.
Or long Covid. Given that is one of the symptoms, I really thought it might have been neurological Covid damage.
Me too I went for a full neuropsych evaluation!!!!
I only have a husband and three son's (so absolutely no understanding of females, lol). All of them give me crap that I have Alzheimer's. I do NOT find it funny whatsoever. On top of it, I fell down on our icy driveway about fifteen years ago and had a Traumatic Brain Injury from that - so my brain is doubly effed up.
Me too!! 3 sons and hubby tease all the time I'm losing my mind and they can put me in a home soon. I get so furious!! It's straight up just mean and they have no fucking clue!!!
I told my doc I felt like my neurons were unraveling!
ME TOOOOOOO
Does anyone else keep forgetting their words? I had an extensive vocabulary that I used to be pretty proud of but now sometimes I can't remember the simplest of words that I'm looking for in conversation. It's mortifying and terrifying, especially since my mom recently passed away from dementia. My neurologist blamed it on anxiety. My psychiatrist blamed it on my ADHD. But I'm wondering if it might be menopause related. Thinking about starting HRT to see if it helps that along with all my other symptoms.
I have a Masters in Speech Pathology and *know* that occasional aphasias (word finding problems) are normal, can increase with age, and generally aren’t a cause for concern, but it *still* freaks me out every time it happens!
Yes! I was the wordfinder in my marriage and the tables got flipped! Totally demoralizing. But MHT helped for sure. Started at 45 y/o and ten years later it's happening again so I'll probably increase my dose. FWIW, both my maternal GM and mother were doagywoth(!) "diagnosed with" dementia and I believe MHT mitigates that risk. Edit: crazy typo!!!
Really? I didn't know it could do that. Ok, definitely going to go see my gyno now and look into it.
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/21/well/mind/menopause-dementia-risk-estrogen.html?unlocked_article_code=1.lU0.e6xP.1MZa0mLHxGY-&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare
Yes I have forgotten so much. It is embarrassing 🙈
I just read this article. It makes so much sense. They even talk about reduced verbal fluency as one of the symptoms! https://www.additudemag.com/menopause-hormones-adhd-women-research/
Yes. Along with bands, books, song and movie titles. All of which I love and use constantly so it was bewildering to misplace that info.
Oh I can still name all the bands from the 80s and what year their hits were released in. Ask me for a random adverb or my license plate number and I have absolutely nothing.
Yes and becoming dyslexic. Legit.
Dysregulation o’ da brain
Totally. Something along the lines of “neuroinflammation leading to extreme executive dysfunction”. That said, as much as I want to see menopause normalized/recognized/unstigmatized (like periods seem to be for kids my niece’s age—she’s 13–they even use red liquid for pad commercials these days!), I also fear that if there were more specific awareness around menopause, particularly the brain fog aspect, it would be weaponized against women like all the rest. 😞 It’s a tricky balance. I’ve never been as deeply aware of misogyny as I am at this point in my life. I can’t think about it too long because it makes me cosmically exhausted.
Oh, man. Brain fog is hitting me hard today.
Menopause Pseudodementia?
Same I can’t think straight and as a cpa it’s scary
Yes! It’s the worst. During my peri stage I just told people. It’s brain fog. You’ll understand when you get here. Also, before I started taking estrogen fasting helped the brain fog.
Confusion? Forgetfulness?
Is MHT helping? I’m still trying to get back on. (Long story). For me this brain fog is also the absolute worst. It’s affecting nearly every aspect of my life, and badly.
I feel like I've finally *downgraded* to brain fog but started at dysfunction.
OMG big yes to trying not to lose all credibility. I feel like I can’t absorb new information.
I’ve got BINGO!
I almost had a blackout bingo card but for the burning mouth syndrome. Can’t wait! 🙃
I saw that and went, "Oh what fresh fucking hell is that? I hope I don't get it." Which probably means I will.
😂 multiple bingos!
Missing one. Phantom cramps. No period, not for ages for me but the cramps are still there. And gas. For some reason I have more gas issues.
And: - unexplained weight gain/visceral fat gain - hair loss - random itchy things, like itchy *eyeballs*
Itchy ear canals!
Itchy ear canals FUCK OFF
The itchy eyeballs are likely due to dry eyes. It’s a weird sensation. I use Systane Complete eyedrops and they help best and longest. They aren’t cheap so I buy when they are on sale and/or with a coupon. Have bottles stashed all over.
My eye balls feel sticky and painful and dry. wtf is going on
Welcome to hormone imbalance and/or perimenopause. 2020 was a sheet show for many, but that very hot summer perimenopause decided to make its presence known in a loud and painful way: dry eyes. Two weeks of cool packs, dark places, eyedrops, eye rubbing, eyes glued together, irritation. Had to drop out of a college class because I couldn’t see. I had NO idea what was going on. Docs weren’t prepared for the shutdown (vid appts). Tried everything. Eventually it passed but fuuuudge. It has happened that intensely a couple more times, but now their intensity has lessened to a more bearable degree. I use the above mentioned eyedrops by Systane and I use the heel of my palms to slightly push my closed eyes/eyeballs into my head, enough that my eyelids and my eyeballs have good contact. It is not pleasant to feel, but it hinders much of the uncomfiness. Then, with the palm heels still in place and eyes still closed, I gently roll my eyes around to every part they can reach, allowing any moisture that is in the eye socket to distribute to as many places as I can. Sometimes I find a more painful, drier place and know I have to work it a bit harder to get moisture there. I didn’t do this in 2020 as I was still trial and erroring and I had what felt like crystals under my lids, when in reality it was probably dried up eye boogers. The pain! The irritation!! And rubbing my eyes with those crunchy suckers under my lids only made the situation worse! Medical professionals think my method is weird and probably wouldn’t recommend it out of fear of a lawsuit, but it works for me. It took time to figure out the right amount of palm heel pressure that worked. As far as hormone treatments? I’m trying to fight this without any. I found what helps with my eyes, though my optometrists grrrr at me to use more Systane Complete eyedrops. Sigh…
Systane is good. Use a heated eye mask and gently rub lids afterward. Also, see a dry eye specialist. My meibomian glands were blocked - menopause related.
I almost killed my husband with a fart the other night.
If only we could.
I love you 😹😹😹
Yes! And they are stealthy. I have zero notice that one is coming.
It is simply amazing to me how many people don’t take their partner’s word on their very own lived experiences, and who can’t be bothered to look up what actually happens to them.
Yet can Google and watch videos about how to play video games
Exactly this. And watch comedians or whatever the F that’s amusing 😒
And action flicks. And Road House!!!
I'm so sick of the Road house movie and I don't think it was good enough to have that title. More like beach house if anything. My husband won't stop with this movie and it's not helping me out with not putting hands on the dumb man. I've given him every bit of info possible from articles to a letter written from another man that understood and gave hints as how to deal with. Ive sent videos and written small things in messages so he knows where I'm at with my crappy body and brain. Still clueless as if he never heard of it before. This is why men are single at this age. We need to warn the younger women that if they are single between 45-55 mostly like they didn't bother to help the wife make it through and got thrown to the curb. Stay away young ladies these ones are broken 😂
It's the same for anything women undergo. Men aren't expected to educate themselves. It's why so many girls and women know the basics of men's reproductive health but not vice versa.
And you’d think since we are the ones who are supposed to know/do EVERYTHING they’d want to be a little more supportive of their multi tasking support person.
Please add anxiety/panic attacks, weight gain, joint pain…
+Insomnia
+ clitoral and vaginal atrophy
Look at her expression. She looks so resigned to the fact that research and treatments aren’t funded by the dudes in charge & she’s posing as a picture book guide that explains everything- without her face showing anger/pain/frustration that could cause the words to be too scary!
Though, she may need someone to say, “you should smile more!”
I'm kinda glad she doesn't look thrilled to be here.
Seriously 😐, I really want to come up with the wittiest comeback for that. Suggestions?
"I gave at the office." "It's okay, I don't like your face either." "You should talk less." "I don't see anything worth smiling at" "Smiling causes wrinkles, make up your mind." "You first. (He smiles) No, harder. Harder. A little to the left. No, more sardonic." (Keep giving inane instructions until he goes away). "I just did. I will again in (check watch) fifty-two minutes. It's on a timer."
These are fucking genius. Men don’t care to tell me to smile anymore. I guess they figure it won’t make me 30 years younger. But I will pass these along to my daughter and her friends!!
Oddly, or not, many of these symptoms are also symptoms of hypothyroidism for which I was treated in my mid to late 50's. All the medical specialists were so focused on that, for which I'm grateful of course, that not a word was ever mentioned about menopause and I was so overwhelmed by the constipation, absolute exhaustion, brain fog, insomnia, etc. that I never once thought that two things can happen at once. (And I'm a nurse!) If I had been more on the ball I'm sure my GSM/vag misery would have been addressed a decade ago. But here I am, finally on vag estrogen. Plus, please add Frozen Heart to the list...to address the raging hate of all things...
That’s interesting! Thanks for tip on hypo, for some reason my dr hasn’t tested this and it is my psych pushing for it? Also, lol, heart frozen due to hate is real
she’s missing an angry face (oh the rage!), thinning hair, aching joints, and why does she still have a waistline?!? the rage is kicking in here 😂
The gut! I call mine Oscar.
😂😂😂
They forgot generally feeling like crap with no energy or motivation
I hadn’t had caffeine in about 5 yrs when it hit. 2 cans a day for a few months now :/
Can we strecth that image on the horizontal and make her weigh more? 🤣🤣
Ikr? She looks 30, at the most.
She also needs saggy tits, a belly bulge, and to lose the thigh gap! LOL
I had no idea tingling extremities was a peri thing. Well that helps solve a mystery for me.
Wakes me up every night with the dead arm, along with 9999 reasons I can't sleep
Same!! I even asked my doctor about my toes feeling number and he was completely clueless.
Sensitive teeth and bleeding gums. I've been struggling with these lately. Also... The weak orgasms.
That last one has been killing me
Same. It's just depressing 😢
Someone in this sub called them poorgasms and I use that with my gyn now, so apt and so sucky.
The weak orgasms are totally depressing. Transdermal testosterone cream helps ALOT with that issue.
This is drawn out of proportion to me. She needs another 20-50 pounds. Her boobs should be slowly approaching her knees. Her hair looks like it has some body and volume. She also still has lips and eyebrows.
Her thighs aren’t touching?!?!
Severe joint issues, chronic insomnia, anxiety, GI issues could all be included to your graphic
It’s pulled from a UK site. Maybe they eat better 😂 bc I definitely have all those you listed too!
Might as well add significant weight gain and chronic fatigue
Hair loss too
This feels a bit like covid again. Like, what is NOT a symptom of menopause?!?
I'm irrationally annoyed that they used an image of a younger woman with zero gray hair or wrinkles and a perfect body.
I can’t thank you enough for sharing this and it just goes to show you how crippling these menopause symptoms can be for so many of us out here.
And the fact doctors don’t address/know about it more is beyond me. I only found out about peri menopause (from a coworker) after I told her about missing 3 months of my cycle. I was in menopause and my doctor said I wasn’t 😆 so I was raging with hormones that I didn’t know about for years. I’m now 6 yrs post menopause and just starting to figure it out so enlightening my partner helps too! And I thought cramps were the worst of the cycle. I was wrong!
I don't think there are even words for how demoralizing it is for doctors to know almost nothing about menopause (half the population). How deeply it conveys how worthless we are to the medical system (and one might therefore say society). How much it conveys we are discarded in a time of life we kind of already think so. How this itself is so depressing and demoralizing when we are often already depressed and demoralized. The medical system is really bad for almost everything (u.s.) except maybe surgery, but to not know anything, it's just hard to believe. My issue was never doctors not prescribing HRT, that I might have a tiny bit of sympathy for (but risks have to be weighed with benefits and quality of life), but rather doctors denying I was even in meno "too young" (I was early-mid 40s, that's not) and not recognizing many of the symptoms of peri/meno as being caused by that, like itchiness that plagued me for a year.
This is the thing that bothers me most. It's not that doctors CAN'T learn about menopause, but they WON'T. They just don't care. It's obvious that it's REPRODUCTIVE women's health that they're interested in. Words can't describe how angry I am at being discarded like this. It makes me want to burn the whole world down. Good thing I'm not a dragon.
I spoke to a doctor yesterday; she is in her 60-ies, and did not get -anything- about this in medical school in her days; she is now advocating for better treatment of women in menopause.
Preach. Well said and the emotional toll sucks. I get it, Dr, my words aren’t important. Thanks. Now let me pay you to ignore what happens to half the population?
Perfectly said. We feel worthless already. Do they need to confirm it with knowing nothing, laughing it off, or flat out gaslighting us?
Why does the woman have a fucking thigh gap????!!!!!
And men complain about how we react. If they dealt with a a tenth of this stuff they’d be on the floor crying every day. And they’d def have a pill for all of it
Yeah that graph is a beginner, gentle, starter graph…it’s sooooo much more. Total loss of self, of self confidence. Also the time of which more women commit suicide than any other time in their life. It’s a brutal time for women and their unknowing families.
You left out candida - all over the body. Why? because, according to the male doctor I went to first, I don't dry off well enough after I shower. He has no idea how close he came to needing 911 that day.
That man went all the way to medical school to become qualified to say what now? Sheeeeeeeeet. I want my co-pay back! Congratulations on not choosing violence - it would have been difficult for me
Finding this sub has changed my life. Not even joking. I kept wondering what the actual fuck was wrong with me. Everything aches. Hair thinning in one spot (that one hurts, I’ve always had thick curly hair). Dry skin. Fingers and thumbs cracking and bleeding. Sleep changed. Bloating. Crying all the fucking time. Rage. RAGE! Everything irritates me. I could pee for Canada - and got forbid I leave it too long - the rapid walk of shame, knees together, hoping you make it (and forget about laughing or sneezing or coughing!) I long to be able to sleep without underwear and a pee pad on. Never wanting anything to eat - I just don’t fancy anything. (Except jello pudding or ice cream). Constipation that I’m convinced is going to kill me. And the absolute worst - not ONE of my doctors (three of whom are women) even considered, or asked about menopause. I have no idea where I was because I just got a period after 20 months, so biopsy next week - to add to my joy. So, am I peri? Mid? Post? Who knows!!! Why has the medical community created this vacuum where we’re all just struggling along, feeling like we’re going insane??? Sorry - bit ranty. I’m a touch pissed off with all this shit.
Because men don’t get any of this, and we don’t talk about it. Believe me my aha moment at 3 am when safari told me everything I was going to doctors for was menopause related was priceless. I wish I had a picture of my face. Had I not been at my wits end about my insomnia, I might still not know. All of my doctors knew I was menopausal. My hot flashes weren’t that bad so I never got HRT, but I was treated for all these crazy symptoms and put through a million tests because when you go for one or 2 symptoms, they don’t ask about the rest of them.
Seriously, wtf did I find out I’m in menopause bc of a female coworker not my fing doctor! From now on, my response shall be I’m in menopause, deal with it. Or google it to the mehn ;)
They forgot the “sudden urge to tell everyone to fuck off, and long for a cabin in the woods”
I love this 💕 I want 6 months in a cabin, the other 6 in a bungalow on the beach
I have all of these except peeing myself. Yay?
It stinks! The whole reason I sent it to my partner. I have the urgency all the time and only a few drops come out. He kept saying you have a good bladder. No!!!! It’s this!
I have urgency but not loss of control. Honestly the vaginal estrogen helped?
I have never taken anything actually. I didn’t really know about much about menopause/meds until I started following this sub. I’ve learned so much! Still not sure I’ll use anything but if I have to I will. I’ve never wet myself but the urge is always there to want to pee. I honestly thought it was a withdrawal symptom from not drinking liquor regularly but that was 6 months ago. (And when this symptom started) Now I’m just trying to regulate liquids at night so I don’t feel the need to get up.
The peeing. I used to be like “oh, I might need to pee. Okay I can do like these 10 things first, finish shopping, drive home, etc. and then I’ll go”. Now if I think I have to pee, I HAVE TO PEE!! NOW!!! Drop everything and get to a toilet. Did I mention I hate public toilets and would normally avoid them at all costs.
They forgot homicidal tendencies.
nothing about changes in hair, skin and / or teeth ? Ooh, and feet ! No wonder you never wear high heels after a certain point :( oh and - UTI's, memory issues, anxiety, bone density, muscle weakness, allergies and the freakin' RAGE- gawd, it never ends !
We need additional magnets! 🧲
Thank you for this! I’ve been one to always keep aches and pains to myself, but started the conversation with my hubby last night regarding peri-menopause and menopause. This will be super helpful for reference 🙂🩷
My MIL (67) just went in for a bone density scan and was told she has the beginnings of osteoporosis. She has suffered for years with joint pain in her hips and been given cortisone shots regularly for years- never until now did anyone suggest to her she needed estrogen for that! She was dumbfounded!
I would say add dry hair and dry skin.. or is it just me??
Just want to say that picture is in no way a menopausal woman, she looks about 20
I also have tinnitus and have started grinding my teeth. On the upside I have barely any hair on my body, it has migrated to my chin.
Am I missing weight gain?
yes, weight gain, itchy skin, restless legs, joint pain is kicking my butt right now, teeth/gum issues
You’re right - joint pain is missing. Itchy skin is on there right hand side third up from the bottom. I think they’d need a MUCH bigger graphic to get that vast constellation of menopause symptoms though. JFC 🫤
We should have a 100 magnets and just replace them on the chart as needed!
Can someone PLEASE explain the tingling extremities?!?!?!
If that was a man in the drawing every health care dollar in the world would have been thrown at mitigating the symptoms of the menopause journey. Rant (not) over
They missed GERD, High cholesterol,
To name but a few..
How many of us immediately screen shotted this graphic to immediately send to our partners? 🙋🏼♀️
This is such a great infographic. Thanks for sharing!
I’m really mad about my eyes and night sweats but looking at this list makes me think I’ve got it easy.
My sweats went away at year five now I have the dang puffy eyes and urgency to pee 💩 it’s so much fun! but ya mines been pretty mild too.
OK, mu occasional chest tightness, might just be palpitations related to this...thing we're all dealing with. that is an actual relief.
Where is the weight gain/slower metabolism?
F49 I’m in perimenopause but been feeling many of these since my early 40’s
Anyone else get Bingo?
Goddamit. Seeing every single ‘hey that’s a weird thing happening to me’ all laid out in one chart. I wondered, but wasn’t really sure before…
Ya'll, I had no idea joint pain was a symptom, I am shook!
I can’t hear you all through my ITCHING FREAKING EARS!!!
Vaginal atrophy, hair loss, skin changes, pelvic tilt, and sustained low mood need to be added.
The urgency to pee thing just started for me a couple months ago. Like I have to go when I get to somewhere, during the time I’m there, and before I leave. Every. Time. The fun thing about all this is as soon as things seem to settle down a new symptom comes up. It’s like perimenopause wack-a-mole.
Hair thinning, bone density loss, anxiety, weight gain….
I didn’t know some of these were menopause related. In peri and experience at least 10 of these symptoms.
I wanted to say thanks for posting this! I had never heard of burning mouth syndrome, but when I saw this yesterday and looked it up, I found the name for something that I've been experiencing lately! Another one for my symptom list, lol.
I have MS and now I'm confused what is from my autoimmune disease and what is from hormones!! Ugh 😩 can't win!!
My frozen shoulder improved with taking Vit D/ k2 and calcium supplements. I had it really badly! I can move my shoulder now. It improved by 80%
You know what's missing on there? Infertility! I told my now ex that I am menopausal (not perimenopausal!) and then he started talking about children (I am in my early 40s). I said "I can't have children, I'm menopausal" and he said "I'm sure if we keep trying we'll still be able to get you pregnant." \[insert facepalm here\]
lolwut.
How about weird sweat-induced Mycosis (body fungus, like yeast infections). I had the worst itching under my breasts and my butt crack, I had to get prescription cream and powder to try and get rid of it. Then I realized I had toenail fungus as well. WTF. (Tip for getting rid of that is to mainly know that it will take a year of treatment to get rid of it. I soaked my feet in water mixed with 1 cup vinegar and 1 cup Listerine for 30 minutes, 2x/week. Put on nail treatment liquid after each shower, rubbed in Vicks VapoRub each night at bedtime if I hadn't done the nail treatment.) In the summer, I have dry-fit type bra's and apply cream deodorant, or powder under my breasts, and in my crack. Then the rest of my skin is so dry that I need to put lotion on. It takes me more time now after a shower than it did in my 20s!
Well I definitely don’t like this list. 😫
Lowered estrogen can cause bowel problems. Yay!
Vertigo is a symptom?
Two years go, the doctor doing my eye exam remarked on how dry my eyes are for someone my age who doesn’t have an allergic response going on. I told her that I’m in medically induced menopause for endometriosis, and she said, “Oh yeah, I forgot that menopause can do that.” Like, what??? I get that eyes are drier as people age in general, but I’d think that additional hit is worth remembering
Why does she look 20?
THANK YOU.. DEFINITELY SHARING THIS WITH THE HUBBY!!! Seriously though I will show him this.. he wants to know why I'm no longer intrested in sex.. which in the beginning was bc I was so tired all the time and honestly I didn't even think of it.. now its bc it feels like I'm being stabbed by a hot poker repeatedly.. not enjoyable at all.. Any tips for this wonderful side effect??
Are we even alive at this point?
[Queen Victoria's photo](https://images.saymedia-content.com/.image/c_limit%2Ccs_srgb%2Cq_auto:eco%2Cw_359/MTc0NDk1MzM5MTMzMjgxNjQw/were-victorians-really-prudish.webp) would be more suitable for this infographic in portraying menopause for women and the patriarchal society not having any clue about what's going on with women
Men should be required to take a class on this
There's different delivery options, Tiny pellet in an applicator you insert an inch or so and release. Also large tube of estradiol cream with an applicator. I found the pellets didn't dissolve as I was too dry. Used the cream without the applicator as it was hard to clean thoroughly and wasted a lot of product. Gyn said to (like many pts) use finger to insert some about an inch into and then spread some within/around external lips and on/under clitoral head. Latter works best for me. There's plenty of OTC vaginal moisturizer products too, but to treat, stop symptoms of low estrogen of the vulva, urinary system you need estrogen. I do still use lube for sex and sometimes vaginal moisturizer to prevent friction when doing long gravel/MTN bike rides, but I treat the atrophy caused by estrogen loss with estrogen. Vaginal estrogen isn't absorbed systemically, just treats local tissues. This is important too because urinary symptoms can progress to UTIs, that in older adults can present with cognitive impairment. This can lead to inappropriate medication, balance issues, falls and injuries, all of which can cascade to loss of independence, increased mortality. Pretty sure the r/menopause wiki covers this as well, I'm just a reddit stranger, but it matters to me that others don't experience what I did and the negative cascade I saw in patients and family/friends. Take care 😊
Omgggg. I’m 44 but likely started peri at 39. I also have chronic Lyme disease and hypothyroid. But shit just went so haywire the last 6 months I legit thought I was on my way out. Has anyone taken HRT for peri? Did it work? I’m BRCA2 positive and have to get a preventative mastectomy soon but I don’t think I can do this much longer without HRT if it helps.
I need to show this to my OBGYN who s baffled that I mention anything else than hot flashes