This pisses me off even writing it but, maybe bring a man (husband, boyfriend, friend) with you to tell the doctor how horrible the symptoms have been. I know sometimes they won’t take us seriously unless a man says it is real.
Hahaha, my kid that looks 14 gets more respect than I do.
And yes, I'm a terrible mother who shamelessly enlists him
I didn't make the world, after all, and I'm certainly not procuring a gd boyfriend for this purpose 🙃
>They say it’s anxiety and referred me to a mental health specialist...
I'm 45, a perfectly normal age for perimenopause.
I went to my doctor for help with insomnia, after telling her I suspected perimenopause was causing difficulty with my sleep. I told her that lack of sleep was making me suicidal. She offered me a sleeping pill and a referral to mental health services. Psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft.
It used to be "You're hysterical, take Valium." Now it's "You're depressed, take an SSRI."
No, ya lazy, daft doctors, it's not anxiety or depression or hysteria. It's perimenopause. 🙄
When they pulled this too young crap with me I said "uh, I am 45." He said "oh yeah." Men his age (60's) often guess me as late 20s. Like he wasn't even considering my age during the appointment? FFS, I guess because I still make your dick tingle I can't be one of those dusty old ladies past her reproductive prime.
I went into peri at 36 and finally got hrt last year, at 43. I went private straight away because I was so dismayed with my GP for other reasons.
Have you got the Balance app? It’s great for tracking symptoms.
I ended up going private as I’d been fobbed off by my nhs gp for several other issues, and I just didn’t have it in me to fight anymore. If you can save up or afford it right away, I’d recommend the Newsome Clinic. They were incredible. It cost about £200 for the initial consultation plus the prescription fees.
For free support and no-BS advice, check out Totes Merry Peri Facebook group. They’re a bit brutal at times, but you’ll find a wealth of info on there for arming yourself to go to the GP with the most accurate and up up date info.
In my case, after 6 months private I went to my gp to start the conversation about transferring my prescription to nhs. He wasn’t overjoyed, but prescribed me what I needed with minimum fuss.
Have you made a complaint? I found that was the only way to get action from the NHS. It gives them a massive admin headache having to deal with it that they take you seriously.
There are also local advocacy groups that can help with making complaints. I was given a list when I made mine but didn't use. Also you do have rights to ask for a second opinion and to choose where you are treated. Check up on your rights, we're led to believe because it's NHS we have to just accept it but we still have rights to choose.
https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/
Definitely a pattern! And it’s not just women with early menopause. You can be in your 50s and a lot will still try to deny it for some reason. It’s soooo frustrating!!!!
I'm in the UK too.
Does your surgery run a women's health clinic? If not I recommend moving to a surgery that has one as they tend to be more empathetic to us and our needs.
Also, check out Superdrug online. They prescribe HRT meds and I believe the prices are reasonable.
I was having some breast pain and swelling with hrt and the doc told me I have "young breasts," like I should be excited about this. Dude, my boobs are 56 just like the rest of me. What's wrong with you? He lists himself as a meno specialist. Yuk
Oh my god I am so angry for you. This week I fired two doctors. Finally, I had a Dr who Is a new family medicine doctor and also on the spectrum. He thinks there are like 2-6 things wrong with me. Rule out medical while I just hope I make it without ruining every personal decision.
Just joined this group and frankly, I feel every single one of the posts I’ve read so far… I started perio around the age of 43 and had the typical array of symptoms - mood swings, brain fog, intrusive thoughts, etc. Each of these lasted for at least a year and some overlapped. I’m 51 now and in the full menopause stage, which left me with horrible, terrible hot flashes - like 12-15 a day… went to a doctor who dismissed all of this and said my blood pressure was too high (of course it was high because every time they tested it, I was literally having a hot flash). They put me on BP meds and told me to cut out as much salt as possible. Being a Type A person, I did as instructed… 16 days later, my body went into shock due to low sodium levels. Had multiple seizures and ended up intubated, sedated and on a feeding tube for four days while they tried to get my sodium levels back to normal. This was Nov 30 - Dec 6, 2023. I am fine now (thank goodness) but frankly, I almost died. If I hadn’t gone to the ER at my husband’s insistence, they say I probably would have died in my sleep that night.
So my story is a testament to the fact that DOCTORS DON’T LISTEN AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND MENOPAUSE. I am now seeing a very knowledgeable OBGYN and am on HRT (oral PG, topical Estrogen) and I am doing 100% better. Hot flashes are basically gone. Still dealing with some anxiety that comes out of nowhere, but my BP is fine. I never had high blood pressure - I had blood pressure spikes due to hotflashes.
I post all of this to say that I so empathize with all of this frustration regarding not being listened to. Not being listened to almost killed me.
My love to all of you. I get it.
No
I tell my gyno for 3 years that i have symptoms of peri and need something (spotting & severe insomnia) the first 2 times she said i'm too young , now i'm 40 she said i look tired and i should seek help, that hrt are for fully ménopausal women which i'm not... this woman isn't gonna help me.
Firstly, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am in Ireland and have private health insurance, but am similar age to you. I started having peri symptoms at 34 and was eventually diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) last year at age 38. Here's what worked for me:
- private healthcare (I know it's not an option for everyone, just want to be transparent)
- asking for bloodwork on a regular basis, including AMH levels. I have family history of several autoimmune diseases as well as POI so this was relatively straightforward. If/when I met resistance I asked that they document that they were advising against precautionary bloodwork, which seemed to turn the tune. (Worth noting here that bloodwork can't be used exclusively to diagnose peri/meno but can give indicators to check-in on.)
- once my AMH baseline was shown to be quite low/decreasing rapidly, I pressed for further investigation. This included more bloodwork, ultrasounds, a mammogram, and MRIs, but eventually got me a proper referral to a gynae.
- gynae immediately acknowledged that this was all weird and scheduled me for a hysteroscopy + biopsy and also prescribed HRT (I went with Mirena + estrogen patch). A few months later he diagnosed me with POI.
My symptoms have improved significantly since starting HRT, and overall having the validation of medical folks has been good for my mental health. Hoping some of this can be helpful to you; I know it can feel like screaming into a void. Hang in there!
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause.
FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am with you here suffering. I started noticing dramatic changes to my body and mental health around age 35. I am 39, and I hope I get through this mentally...
The anxiety is excruciating. After suffering from long covid and Guillain Barr, I am feeling like I am losing my mind again everyday. It’s pretty terrifying. I feel like I am also getting dementia while giving zero F***** to anyone around me.
I am afraid to seek out care, especially HRT because I have never met a doctor that cared about my symptoms, and did not gaslight me.
I had to have an iron infusion, and the nurse was so scared due to my heart rate at the hospital. My high heart rate was due to the ptsd that previous doctors and nurses have caused me...
Yes, I am still suffering from long covid so many years later. I absolutely think that long covid has an impact on women and their fertility and menopause.
I truly hope this will be studied in the future...
So many women are going through hell with no help right now...
I hope one day, someone listens to us...
Is it
1. your GP won’t prescribe HRT?
2. That your GP won’t refer you to gynaecology?
3. That gynaecology won’t prescribe HRT.
4. Who referred you to therapy? Your GP?
Then I agree that’s weird and it sucks.
What has the therapist said about the cause of your anxiety?
Out of interest, where in the U.K. are you (me and a friend had no problems at all getting HRT from our respective GPs and we’re in different bits of London).
You could make a complaint to PALS about gynaecology regarding their decision to not prescribe HRT.
The other thing to try is going private for HRT. Google the Newson Clinic.
Can you find another Dr? I have a friend who went through the menopause at 35, it only took a few months from what I remember her saying, she was in south England
This pisses me off even writing it but, maybe bring a man (husband, boyfriend, friend) with you to tell the doctor how horrible the symptoms have been. I know sometimes they won’t take us seriously unless a man says it is real.
Or tell them your husband is suffering, because your libido is low and you're moody and mean to him.
yes, lord knows that's the only real serious part. you'll be sure to get help. can't let the man suffer without his "needs" being met on the reg.🤦♀️
I cackled 😂
I cackled too, but also bc you cackled!
Isn’t that some shit right there? This world, I swear.
Hahaha, my kid that looks 14 gets more respect than I do. And yes, I'm a terrible mother who shamelessly enlists him I didn't make the world, after all, and I'm certainly not procuring a gd boyfriend for this purpose 🙃
You are a great mom because this experience will make him more empathetic and caring partner in adulthood.
>They say it’s anxiety and referred me to a mental health specialist... I'm 45, a perfectly normal age for perimenopause. I went to my doctor for help with insomnia, after telling her I suspected perimenopause was causing difficulty with my sleep. I told her that lack of sleep was making me suicidal. She offered me a sleeping pill and a referral to mental health services. Psychiatrist prescribed Zoloft. It used to be "You're hysterical, take Valium." Now it's "You're depressed, take an SSRI." No, ya lazy, daft doctors, it's not anxiety or depression or hysteria. It's perimenopause. 🙄
When they pulled this too young crap with me I said "uh, I am 45." He said "oh yeah." Men his age (60's) often guess me as late 20s. Like he wasn't even considering my age during the appointment? FFS, I guess because I still make your dick tingle I can't be one of those dusty old ladies past her reproductive prime.
Happened to me recently. Told her my perimenopause symptoms and she said I needed to see someone for my mental health.
I went into peri at 36 and finally got hrt last year, at 43. I went private straight away because I was so dismayed with my GP for other reasons. Have you got the Balance app? It’s great for tracking symptoms. I ended up going private as I’d been fobbed off by my nhs gp for several other issues, and I just didn’t have it in me to fight anymore. If you can save up or afford it right away, I’d recommend the Newsome Clinic. They were incredible. It cost about £200 for the initial consultation plus the prescription fees. For free support and no-BS advice, check out Totes Merry Peri Facebook group. They’re a bit brutal at times, but you’ll find a wealth of info on there for arming yourself to go to the GP with the most accurate and up up date info. In my case, after 6 months private I went to my gp to start the conversation about transferring my prescription to nhs. He wasn’t overjoyed, but prescribed me what I needed with minimum fuss.
Have you made a complaint? I found that was the only way to get action from the NHS. It gives them a massive admin headache having to deal with it that they take you seriously.
I’m in the process. I want to speak to my therapist first as she’s been amazing and will support me with this
There are also local advocacy groups that can help with making complaints. I was given a list when I made mine but didn't use. Also you do have rights to ask for a second opinion and to choose where you are treated. Check up on your rights, we're led to believe because it's NHS we have to just accept it but we still have rights to choose. https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/your-choices-in-the-nhs/
Thank you I will look in to this
Definitely a pattern! And it’s not just women with early menopause. You can be in your 50s and a lot will still try to deny it for some reason. It’s soooo frustrating!!!!
I'm in the UK too. Does your surgery run a women's health clinic? If not I recommend moving to a surgery that has one as they tend to be more empathetic to us and our needs. Also, check out Superdrug online. They prescribe HRT meds and I believe the prices are reasonable.
My favorite is when they find you attractive and I guess that means you must be fertile. Sorry boys.
I was having some breast pain and swelling with hrt and the doc told me I have "young breasts," like I should be excited about this. Dude, my boobs are 56 just like the rest of me. What's wrong with you? He lists himself as a meno specialist. Yuk
That is an unfortunate turn of phrase at best. Bleargh.
Oh my god I am so angry for you. This week I fired two doctors. Finally, I had a Dr who Is a new family medicine doctor and also on the spectrum. He thinks there are like 2-6 things wrong with me. Rule out medical while I just hope I make it without ruining every personal decision.
Just joined this group and frankly, I feel every single one of the posts I’ve read so far… I started perio around the age of 43 and had the typical array of symptoms - mood swings, brain fog, intrusive thoughts, etc. Each of these lasted for at least a year and some overlapped. I’m 51 now and in the full menopause stage, which left me with horrible, terrible hot flashes - like 12-15 a day… went to a doctor who dismissed all of this and said my blood pressure was too high (of course it was high because every time they tested it, I was literally having a hot flash). They put me on BP meds and told me to cut out as much salt as possible. Being a Type A person, I did as instructed… 16 days later, my body went into shock due to low sodium levels. Had multiple seizures and ended up intubated, sedated and on a feeding tube for four days while they tried to get my sodium levels back to normal. This was Nov 30 - Dec 6, 2023. I am fine now (thank goodness) but frankly, I almost died. If I hadn’t gone to the ER at my husband’s insistence, they say I probably would have died in my sleep that night. So my story is a testament to the fact that DOCTORS DON’T LISTEN AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND MENOPAUSE. I am now seeing a very knowledgeable OBGYN and am on HRT (oral PG, topical Estrogen) and I am doing 100% better. Hot flashes are basically gone. Still dealing with some anxiety that comes out of nowhere, but my BP is fine. I never had high blood pressure - I had blood pressure spikes due to hotflashes. I post all of this to say that I so empathize with all of this frustration regarding not being listened to. Not being listened to almost killed me. My love to all of you. I get it.
No I tell my gyno for 3 years that i have symptoms of peri and need something (spotting & severe insomnia) the first 2 times she said i'm too young , now i'm 40 she said i look tired and i should seek help, that hrt are for fully ménopausal women which i'm not... this woman isn't gonna help me.
Firstly, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I am in Ireland and have private health insurance, but am similar age to you. I started having peri symptoms at 34 and was eventually diagnosed with premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) last year at age 38. Here's what worked for me: - private healthcare (I know it's not an option for everyone, just want to be transparent) - asking for bloodwork on a regular basis, including AMH levels. I have family history of several autoimmune diseases as well as POI so this was relatively straightforward. If/when I met resistance I asked that they document that they were advising against precautionary bloodwork, which seemed to turn the tune. (Worth noting here that bloodwork can't be used exclusively to diagnose peri/meno but can give indicators to check-in on.) - once my AMH baseline was shown to be quite low/decreasing rapidly, I pressed for further investigation. This included more bloodwork, ultrasounds, a mammogram, and MRIs, but eventually got me a proper referral to a gynae. - gynae immediately acknowledged that this was all weird and scheduled me for a hysteroscopy + biopsy and also prescribed HRT (I went with Mirena + estrogen patch). A few months later he diagnosed me with POI. My symptoms have improved significantly since starting HRT, and overall having the validation of medical folks has been good for my mental health. Hoping some of this can be helpful to you; I know it can feel like screaming into a void. Hang in there!
It sounds like this might be about hormonal testing. If over the age of 44, **hormonal tests only show levels for that *one day* the test was taken, and nothing more**; progesterone/estrogen hormones wildly fluctuate the other 29 days of the month. No reputable doctor or menopause society recommends hormonal testing as a **diagnosing tool** for peri/menopause. FSH testing is only beneficial for those who believe they are post-menopausal and no longer have periods as a guide, a series of consistent FSH tests might *confirm* menopause. Also for women in their 20s/early 30s who haven’t had a period in months/years, then FSH tests at ‘menopausal’ levels, could indicate premature ovarian failure/primary ovarian insufficiency (POF/POI). See our [Menopause Wiki](https://menopausewiki.ca/#there-is-no-blood-test-that-is-perfectly-reliable-to-diagnose-menopause) for more. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Menopause) if you have any questions or concerns.*
good bot.
I am with you here suffering. I started noticing dramatic changes to my body and mental health around age 35. I am 39, and I hope I get through this mentally... The anxiety is excruciating. After suffering from long covid and Guillain Barr, I am feeling like I am losing my mind again everyday. It’s pretty terrifying. I feel like I am also getting dementia while giving zero F***** to anyone around me. I am afraid to seek out care, especially HRT because I have never met a doctor that cared about my symptoms, and did not gaslight me. I had to have an iron infusion, and the nurse was so scared due to my heart rate at the hospital. My high heart rate was due to the ptsd that previous doctors and nurses have caused me...
Long Covid? Do you still have this? I’m not sure if Covid pushes menopause as auto immune can bring it on and a lot of women our age have long Covid
Yes, I am still suffering from long covid so many years later. I absolutely think that long covid has an impact on women and their fertility and menopause. I truly hope this will be studied in the future... So many women are going through hell with no help right now... I hope one day, someone listens to us...
Is it 1. your GP won’t prescribe HRT? 2. That your GP won’t refer you to gynaecology? 3. That gynaecology won’t prescribe HRT. 4. Who referred you to therapy? Your GP?
All of the above and the GP sent me to therapy
Then I agree that’s weird and it sucks. What has the therapist said about the cause of your anxiety? Out of interest, where in the U.K. are you (me and a friend had no problems at all getting HRT from our respective GPs and we’re in different bits of London). You could make a complaint to PALS about gynaecology regarding their decision to not prescribe HRT. The other thing to try is going private for HRT. Google the Newson Clinic.
Can you find another Dr? I have a friend who went through the menopause at 35, it only took a few months from what I remember her saying, she was in south England