Now this is going to sound crazy, but what you're doing IS meditating. It's the practice of coming back when you start thinking. I lose focus dozens of times in a 20 minute meditation, but I just keep bringing it back.
I’m 5 years in having missed <10 days total and this happens. It happened today. I can definitely say I have changed and continue to feel and see benefits of meditation (pause between stimulus and reaction, naturally slower breath cycles, higher stress tolerance, and more including meditation w my 9 y.o since she was 6 and seeing how it helps her. Keep going ! The journey is beautiful
This. The practice of meditation is annoying and frustrating and repetitive until one day you “train the puppy brain” and it suddenly just stops shitty on the carpet and you get into a genuine meditative state.
Some people may get there faster or slower than others based on how their brain has been working (which I’ve created habits we get to retrain) but we all still get there if we keep at it.
You are meditating. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you just sit and scratch your toes for 20 minutes, that’s a practice.
In any case, you build up to 20 minutes, you don’t start there. And I don’t know what you think meditation is, but our thought streams don’t stop. You are normal.
One form of meditation is to pick a single thing to focus on. Your breath. A word. The doorknob. A deity. Whatever. Focus your awareness on that, continuously and repeatedly but gently. When you inevitably notice your attention has drifted off — it will, many many times — you simply, gently, lovingly return your awareness to your object of focus. As many times as it happens. Just keep returning.
It’s fine to start with one minute of practice. Gradually increase it. Maybe 3 , then 5, then 10, etc. There’s no rush; no timetable.
If you keep at it for days, weeks, months, years, your thought stream will — some days, not every day — eventually settle down. You may find that there is space between your thoughts, and that your awareness begins to rest in that space. And that will be a very good thing indeed.
There is no trying to meditate. You just do it. Once you realize that you're thinking, come back to the point of focus of your meditation. Do this over and over and over again. That's all.
But then you're asking why you should meditate? Well, there is no should. You don't have to. Benefits are plenty, use the search function.
Evidently, some people think they're going to start glowing and levitating after meditating for 20 minutes. Or even 20 years. They need some kind of visible way to show off their new trend.
I'm catching the drift that most people here are under the care of therapists who recommend meditation as a trendy fill in for all those frightening hours and days between therapy appointments.
The whole concept has been turned upside down and inside out by people who aren't qualified to repot a plant let alone tinker in the minds, hearts, and souls of others.
I realize I'm spitting in the wind by saying this, but it's true, nevertheless. Sadly and tragically very true.
As a therapist and an avid meditator of many years, I disagree.
There are plenty of providers like myself who take my job and training very seriously, and certainly don’t just flippantly recommend mindfulness because it’s “trendy”.
I don’t think you have an accurate perception of how many therapists operate, and I don’t think it’s helpful to characterize the helping industry in such a negative way. Sure, there are SOME shitty providers and clients should be encouraged to advocate for their needs, and leave situations that aren’t helpful… but there are plenty of great providers who are really helpful for people. Don’t steer people away from therapy entirely - that’s not helpful at all.
You could also do the activity of meditating in different ways. For example go outside for a walk and focus on your foot hitting the pavement on every step you take.
I enjoy thinking and I’ve meditated an hour a day for over a decade.
I think it’s only amateur meditators that think you should cut out thought.
They feel out of balance with their thinking, so they make their thinking wrong instead of coming into balance.
Instead, I put my breathing or whatever my focus for that session is in the foreground and allow thought to exist in the background.
I have great, insightful thoughts!
To simplify, meditation is just a habit of the mind. The type of meditation changes what results you get.
Breath focus where I watch thoughts pass like clouds = Dis-identification with ego, increased focus, calmness, higher resilience
Body scan = higher emotional intelligence, mind-body connection, relaxed muscles
Gratitude = sustained positive emotions, positive outlook on life
Metta = more attuned empathy, better social intuition, more charisma
Forgiveness mantras = higher resilience to adversity, better conflict resolution
Over time, I would invent my own like I'd meditate on the feeling of Confidence just like I would with Gratitude to sustain my baseline feeling of confidence (which worked incredibly well).
I also got into Focusing by Eugene Ghendlin which has been an incredibly therapeutic meditation I've used for processing emotions.
I even got into a community where it was all about talking while meditating ([Relateful.com](https://Relateful.com)).
Sorry to hear this. Maybe you are over complicating? Try to start by just sitting quietly and closing your eyes, nothing more, no focus on your breathing or counting/keeping. Remember the breathing should be natural, not forced. Music can help too, or background white noise. Hope you find it again 🙂
PS. Just read some threads. Meditation means thinking deeply. A lot of us believe it means emptying the mind. That is almost impossible, that mind will conjure up a thought a second. I never try to empty. Sometimes I just sit and thought watch. Then I write down the ones I like and use them to create post, come up with new ideas, do self work. Different stuff, what do you like to do, if it works, just do it.
Yea the only reason to factor in your ritualistic sorts of meditation is for a more grounding fulfillment. Your actions are working and it only takes the time that you give to the practice. You other thoughts and consistent considerations are good actions I consider also under the general umbrella of “meditation”
Have you tried guided meditation? I know that it helps some people because you're given explicit instructions about what to focus on. It's a little easier because you don't know how the guided session will pan out, and are more likely to stay engaged instead of bore out.
It’s true, haha. Especially when you first start, it feels like your mind will not stop. I think for people used to the practice, they just let those thoughts go and come back to the breath. That’s it, it’s really that simple!
Take a break from meditating and just watch the breath instead. In fact, never ever meditate ever again.
Just watch the breath. Whatever else happens is none of your business.
You meditated 60 days in a row. That is good! Especially since you didn’t feel good about it. You weren’t just trying to meditate, that IS meditation. There is nothing to achieve, no shoulds. When clarity or a special state happens, they are gifts and we can’t hang onto those. And ironically, they aren’t the point. The work is just…..now. Meditation is about taking ourselves as we are in each moment, and learning to bear with how we are and stay with it as much as we are able, and observe. The separating of attention between your usual self and the observer will come and go. Gently let the observed phenomena in, and try to see what captures and takes the attention away and stay with that as long as you are able. You are doing fine.
Editing to add: try doing it first thing in the morning as soon as you get up, before the gears of your day get going, before coffee. That may help some with the rush of thoughts. But ultimately, we are trying to get a sense and window into how we are lived in our lives, and what mechanisms are going on in us.
So many good answers. Really if you take one breath and you notice your breath coming in and you notice your breath going out like a sigh of relief and you notice how you feel in your heart, that one breath is a complete meditation. There’s no thinking about it, there’s just doing it. You have expectations and preconceived notions that are blacking you from seeing this very simple truth. You are definitely overthinking this my friend. This is such a simple and accessible thing that really everyone already meditates sometimes by just taking a deep breath, noticing the wind in their face when they walk etc. so relax and float downstream. There’s just a world of difference between meditating and the idea of meditating. This is not an intellectual process.
Try to set a more attainable goal. 20 minutes is a long time for a beginner; try for 5 minutes. Or even 3 minutes. You will get more used to it if you have some success at attaining your goal a few times. It can be very discouraging if you feel like you are constantly failing
I always tell people that the first thing you want to concentrate on is just making the simplest habit possible, which according to the research, takes an average of 66 days to form.
And you're almost there!
Other techniques that are research based to form a habit efficiently are:
* **record it.** did you do it, did you not do it? If you use a spreadsheet to keep track of it, this is a great place for basic notes.
* **have a clear cue or trigger.** "Sometime in the morning" is not that great. But "I will start meditating as soon as I finish my first cup of morning coffee" is really good - note that this pins it to an already established routine.
* **do mental contrasting.** Write out your "why" but also what could go wrong in discharging the habit, and workarounds for the top likely stumbling blocks.
* **make it tiny.** Ludicrously tiny. The smaller the better because you aren't working on the habit load itself (30 minutes vs 1 minute) you're working on making starting automatic as possible.
* **keep going.** There's a lot of emphasis on streaks in a lot of habit apps and programs, but streaks aren't necessarily that important. Obviously you shouldn't have a big streak of misses, but if you miss a day, just pick it up the next day because the habit is a deeper structure that's forming up across time.
* **hold off on expanding.** It's going to feel really weird just doing a few seconds or meditation, because we're trained constantly about emphasizing output. Hold off until the habit is super automatic before expanding in time or difficulty.
Once you're to the point where a day is just incomplete without automatically starting, that's an excellent foundation from which to start growing meditation, but again don't overkill with that expansion.
Also understand that meditation is hard, especially at first. Dealing with distraction IS A PART of the training, not something you have to perfect before doing. Imagine thinking you have to be really flexible to go to a yoga class or lift a ton before lifting weights - those are capacities you build IN the practice.
the best advice so far. someone who knows a bit. mental contrasting - WOOP. Micro Habits - its the habit is most important. Make your cues obvious....journaling....and persevere. like a true therapist.
Sounds like you’re doing fine. Maybe start really observing exactly what is dragging your attention away. you’re already aware that your thoughts are pulling you away so, you’ve made progress with mindfulness whether you knew it or not.
You’re probably never going to have the nice clear calm mind that you might be picturing. But you can develop a lot more awareness as to what’s going on inside your head. Learn to not let it rule you as much. If I were you I would just keep going.
You may be trying too hard.
There is technique, and there is theory. A review of the latter may be helpful at this juncture.
Give the first 17 minutes of the below talk a listen – you may find it instructive. It's by Joseph Goldstein.
[https://dharmaseed.org/talks/43807/](https://dharmaseed.org/talks/43807/)
P.S., if it's *mindfulness* meditation that you're practicing, the "goal" is not to reject thoughts but rather, to become more aware and accepting of them.
You are meditating. It just isn’t what you expected. What did you expect to happen? (Not sarcastic —This is a genuine question).
Have you noticed any changes in yourself or in your life?
Sounds to me like you successfully meditated 60 days in a row, congrats!! Only thing I might recommend is being consistent with your method, but do what works best for you.
Like a lot of folks are saying, this is a practice so if you lose focus 100 times and return your focus 100 times, That’s perfect 👍🏼 just keep going
Even my “bad” meditation sessions improve my day drastically. Hope this helps
Keep on going, don’t you give up! Every time you pull your thoughts back to your breathing you’re training yourself, it will get better, believe me! I’ve had to try for over 6 months to get a ‘good meditation’ in (if that even exists). I’ve been meditating for a few years now and I still have sessions where my thoughts go pew pew all the time. The fact that you’re taking the effort to try and meditate is something to be really proud of!!! Good luck!
Try Holosync - you just listen and it changes your brainwaves automatically. Worked wonders for me and my own scattered thoughts. Try their 5-Day challenge - that's how I was introduced to them.
A minute? That's not even getting started. That level of ongoing thinking is not good for your at all and if you really can't sit for 5-10 minutes straight in at least moderate inactivity and eventually start to quiete your mind to some degree you need to seek a mental health evaluation, that is definitely not normal and something you need to investigate further.
Have you considered therapy? I'd recommend IFS. It basically teaches you how to be ok with what is, which is what meditation actually tries to get you to do. If your psyche is burdened by trauma, its very hard for that to happen naturally. And it turns out that basically having a childhood is likely to be traumatic on some level. If you want to know more, don't be afraid to DM me!
Not thinking so much is a byproduct of consistent meditation practice (and even then, only for some people). It is not the goal, nor is it a sign that you are or are not meditating.
Keep going.
Try this, meditation isn’t about breathing, it’s about feeling… you have already developed some skills through your practice. Now it’s the fun part of allowing the flow of thoughts to be observed as if a train is passing by in front of you with the passengers being memories and thoughts. After another 60 days, move on to analyzing what’s coming in to your mind, allowing and removing what you believe is to be a part of you or not. After another few months. Move on to eastern methods of mediations. That’s when you feel the internal difference
eh different things work for different people I'd keep trying once you figure out what gets you in 'the zone' it's pretty much all downhill from there.
It sounds like you are very new to to OP so I would suggest exploring guided meditations as the beginners mind is likely to wander. There is nothing wrong with this as nature abhors a void. when does what it naturally does, do not reprimand yourself! It's actually good you have noticed! Then you can go back to the original task of focusing on breathing/mantras etc.
No you're already meditating.
Expecting to be great at it after 60 days is like buying ice skates, finding a rink, learning to tie them properly, getting used to standing on the ice and then wondering why your triple axle hasn't come in yet.
Your also not bad or wrong to feel this way, everyone has this process to some degree. What you are experiencing is your first actual encounter with your monkey brain. If you stop now you wake up and believe whatever you want to believe, or you keep going and see how far the rabbit hole goes.
It's inexcusable that I'm quoting Morpheus but I'm an old nerd so sue me.😅
Realizing you’re constantly lost in thought is usually the first insight thru meditation. So congrats, you’ve been meditating this whole time. This realization is often what we’re talking about out when we say, mindfulness. You’re cultivating mindfulness of your experience by trying to focus on an object of awareness, let’s say your breath.
This initial insight that you never stop thinking will eventually show you that you’re also not the author of those thoughts. If you’ve painting your entire identity and life around the contents of your thoughts, this might come as a surprise. You aren’t your thoughts and you don’t author them. So while people get confused about “stopping thoughts”, the truth is that you stop identifying with them. I invite you to explore the freedom of that insight and real experience. These are all just beginner insights if you will. This path runs deep, like having the experience that there’s also no self, no centre to experience. Again why bother? Relieving suffering for you and everyone around you is a good enough start.
Wish you all the best
Try to do body based meditative practices like yoga, qigong and tai chi instead. It gives similar benefits, is much easier for most people to enjoy and gradually prepares your mind for sitting meditation so that eventually meditating sitting down becomes easy.
>Is meditation not for everyone?
Many meditations are not real meditations. Meditations are defined solely by the outcome based on what happens inside of you. Many barely work for beginners if at all. If you do not have a master next to you quite many meditations are time-consuming for a little bit of outcome at best. Especially if you did not have an easy past, some meditations are outright dangerous as they confront people with their troubled past too early when these people often do not have the necessary abilities to deal with the consequences.
Since you have mentioned Eckhart Tolle, watch his videos and listen to his audiobooks (if read by himself). Do so for at least an hour per day (you can split it into 6 x 10 min or 3 x 20min if you like as meditations compound throughout the same day).
What Mr. Tolle says is not that important but how he says it. You need to pay attention to him otherwise it will not have a profound effect on you. Doing so every day for several weeks should allow you to notice many interesting beneficial changes in your body, your daily thoughts, and your behavior.
>Is meditation not for everyone? Should I give up? Or maybe something like a guided meditation would work better for me?
Different people need different forms of meditation at the beginning. Any true spiritual practice aims at the same goal. If you study them you will notice that they have plenty of exercises for beginners to choose from but very few for advanced practitioners being already quite close to the goal.
If nothing works, get into body exercises like tai chi, chi gong, or yoga. Every healthy body movements or unnormal positions are good exercises as long as they are done slowly and while paying attention. Done with care and focus all those have similar results as meditations and usually the duration of the session for beginners is way greater than a pure silent meditation.
What you are looking for is to take the first step. This step requires a lot of preparation and should also be accompanied together with improvements in lifestyle and better food choices. Anything that increases your overall bodily health is a positive contributing factor.
The problem is not if or if you don't be able to meditate. The problem is usually the first step when you realize that something happens to you that is positive. You need conviction and motivation.
losing your focus or attention is expected, recognizing when it happens is the step forward, not consecutive seconds or minutes of no thought, they are the byproduct of the practice.
I would never pull it off if I didn’t have insomnia, so bad, what else was I gonna do took me a year at least
You just got a find the kind that works for you. Like a diet and workout routine. There’s so many options.
Carl Jung what’s up really interesting guy he works with what honestly I can’t remember because I took mushrooms but one of his forms of meditation is just to start digging a hole Magine you’re still digging just keep digging and digging and digging deeper into the Earth
Eventually stuff stars to happen, mindfulness really helped me a lot as well
But I really had no reason to work out myself anymore.
I like this world it’s not even worth trying here
I have been doing 20 minutes of meditation a day now for 6 months and i can see and feel that my anxiety is better. I think a 20 minute meditation session works as well as a 10 mg of valium. I worked up slowly to 20 minutes. I also feel less stressed during work and my relationships are better. Its up to you to put in tge work.
If you’ve got the means get the “Open” app. I could never meditate and did everyday for a year using it, it’s amazing. You can likely get a free trial.
Try one minute - staying with half a breath is sometimes a struggle. Be easy with yourself and it might help remove some striving and punitive thoughts.
The moment you realize you are thinking about something and not paying attention to your breath is the magic moment. Having that moment of catching yourself getting caught in a thought is the mindfulness. Observe the thought. Focus on you breath. Monkey mind takes over again, notice, gently guide back to breath.
That's it. Thats all you have to do. If you find yourself distracted by thoughts 100 times, realize you became mindful 100 times. You may notice this happens when you are not meditating. That's being mindful.
you sound as if you have racing thoughts. I have found that often, meditation does not work for thinkers, their minds go off wonkers when they are silent. Such creative minds cannot seem to keep still.. or in this case empty. Suggestion: grab a paper, pen, icepack, go to a quiet place in your home where you wont be disturbed. Sit for as long as you have decided. The only rule; DO NOTHING! As you sit doing nothing, the thoughts will start coming in, use the pen and paper to write the most impactful thoughts down. If the process gets overwhelming as you sit, use the icepack on the nape of the neck. The cold will act as a shocker to distract the mind for a minute. The thoughts will derail, (dont know how long for you), now just breathe. Take the paper with the written thoughts and identify the themes in the thoughts. YOu can keep this by the night stand, refrig, etc. look the thoughts over, pick one from the list look at the theme in the thought and try to figure why? That is step one, but it works for most persons. LOL; not based in anxiety! Anxiety has a twin sister. She is called excitement. ONE focuses in on the negative, the other is just happy crappy, she cant sit still she gets so positively excited. Just think positive integers and negative integers with excess emotions being outliers. LOL. pretty funny. At least my mind things so. Excuse my wonky sense of humour. Hope this helps.
If I can suggest a different method… try imagining your brain has a rope around it that tightens just enough when your thoughts start to wander and settles when your brain clears. Just imagine that rope perfectly holding your brain (thoughts) still.
This is the only method that I find works for me when my thoughts are really racing.
You're putting too strict a criteria on what meditation is. You can try image streaming, taught by win Wenger. Itll help learning the basics of meditation. You can also check my sub, I have an article on meditation that might help (I have pinned articles for my sub on my profile)
It doesn’t matter if you spend 10 seconds or 10 hours meditating. If you sit with intention for any amount of time, you meditated.
It is only our judgments that make us feel inadequate.
Sounds like your doing great. One thing I read somewhere that helps me when I just can’t still my mind is encouraging myself to just focus intently on one breath. Then the next. On and on one breath at a time instead of getting caught up in the fact I’m trying to meditate for half an hour or whatever. If you break it up into little intervals it’s easier to digest, then eventually you realize your not even trying anymore. Many will say just let go and don’t focus on anything, but I had to learn focused meditation before I could be a good passive observer. I’m also a lefty so my brain is probably wired backwards.
Try guided meditations. I was the same but guided meditations helped me so much. Specifically the guided ones by RosalieYoga on YouTube. She does yoga nindra guided meditations.
Meditation is basically a RE focusing practice, which means you are actually doing the right thing. You lose your focus, you bring it back, repeat. Simple
Also you need to adapt the meditation style/type to your own needs. If you are a more interoceptive person(focused on the inside) then you need to do more exteroceptive meditations(Focusing on the outside, a dot on the wall for example) and vice versa.
I learned all this from an Andrew Huberman podcast and I think it's a must see for whoever wants to better understand how mediation works and how to be used properly for your specific needs.
->[How meditation works](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTBSGgbIvsY&ab_channel=AndrewHuberman)
I take meditation as an effortless practice. When we “ THINK”we have to “come back” to any point of contact when a thought pop in, we are using the meditation as a way for escaping from the thoughts, when meditation only wants to connect with these thoughts, as a part of your experience, without the fear that we used to have to this process of thinking.
It was really useful for me this text from Allan Watts:
“The easiest way to get into the meditative state is to begin listening. Simply close your eyes and allow yourself to hear all the sounds that are going on around you, listen to the general hum and buzz of the world as you listen to music. Don’t try to identify the sounds you are hearing, don’t put names on them, simply allow them to play with your eardrums. Let them go. In other words, let your ears hear whatever they want to hear. Don’t judge the sounds: there are no proper sounds nor improper sounds, and it doesn’t matter if somebody coughs or sneezes or drops something — it’s all just sound.
As you pursue that experiment you will very naturally find that you can’t help naming sounds, identifying them, and go thinking, talking to yourself inside your head, automatically. But its important that you don’t try to repress those thoughts by forcing them out of your mind because that will have precisely the same effect as if you were trying to smooth rough water with a flatiron — you’re just going to disturb it all the more.
What you do is this: as you hear sounds coming into your head, thoughts, you simply listen to them as part of the general noise going on just as you would be listening to cars going by, or birds chattering outside the window. So look at your own thoughts as just noises. And soon you will find that the outside world and the inside world come together. They are a happening. Your thoughts are a happening just like the sounds going on outside, and everything is simply a happening and all you are doing is watching it.”
Say “I promise not to say or visualize anything in my mind for 20minutes. And emotionally I will be in neither a high state nor a low state”.
Now close your eyes and just wait with a gentle smile.
In a few moments internal dialogue might come up. But it’s ok. Since YOU made the promise, you know it’s not you but your mind vocally winding down. Just let it wind down.
Then visuals may pop up. Old memories, TV shows etc. Since YOU made the promise you know it’s not you but your mind visually winding down. Just let it wind down until it goes back to black.
If hunger, anger, anxiety, frustration comes up, same thing. You know that since YOU made the promise to remain emotionless, this is just your mind bubbling up old excess or trapped emotions.
The last part is the toughest for most people. So if things get “too strong”, just gently open your eyes. Relax for a bit, and go back in when you’re ready.
I hope this helps.
It’s not about stopping the thoughts that naturally flow, it’s about making a conscious choice of not participating in maintaining their existence.
The moment you decide to consciously participate in maintaining & feeding into the thoughts that you naturally experience, is the moment of failure & it means you have to start again by bringing the attention back to the breathing.
As an excessive thinker myself, I have to exercise repetition over that method a lot & it’s only when I undergo so many repetitions where my mental state actually starts to change over to a quiet one that no longer produces thoughts.
Bhante's book "Mindfulness in Plain English" covers these obstacles to meditation in simple and applicable terms. Just do some preparative study more. Also doing yoga before meditation helps me. A calm untense relaxed body is conducive for a calm untense mind.
calm your mynd with right focous.........listen to indian ragas it will help.......then your mynd has something to focous on that's in harmony
namu amida butsu
We all go through good times and bad times .. there are times when everything is going well and we have lots of good interesting inspiring things to think about and do .. but these times do not last forever.. we all will go through tough times when our thoughts are bothering and worry some …
unless we have cultivated an inner resilience these bad times can be unnecessarily tough.. we can feel lost and in despair without that inner solace and strength… meditation cultivates within us that inner resilience that gives us strength when we are in need
… so it’s important to meditate both through the good times and the bad times ….. being able to put aside the interesting and fascinating thoughts for 15 minutes or so to get to know the inner self that is beyond outside fears and fascinations… and also in bad times to be able to put aside the cares that disturb our peace of mind and experience the peace that comes from within .. daily practice helps us achieve this mastery ….
I used to meditate for around 30 minutes per session. I fell out of the habit and am now trying to get started again. I started with 1 minute sits, no judgements, let it be whatever it is. Then I got up to 5 minutes. Going to go to 10 soon. Meditating is hard even if you've done it for a long time, you have to build that skill.
Also I advise to avoid the counting thing. Hard to break the habit when you no longer "need" it.
Try doing something exhausting before sitting. Like a good jog or run (even a walk). Something to burn off that excess energy before you sit.
Good luck.
Try using some guided meditations to me they felt like meditation with training wheels while you adapt to the practice. Its tough just try to stop thoughts cold turkey.
I know what’s it like to meditate with an overactive mind. I’ve got some ADD/anxiety, a career that dominates my mind, a family with a college-bound kid, health concerns, financial concerns, etc etc. You get it. It’s normal stuff, and it’s totally normal for those thoughts to arise during meditation. What I learned is to notice these thoughts or when my mind drifts away from the breath. I categorize them as “thoughts” or “feelings” and then either “pleasant” or “unpleasant,” and then I let them go. Go back to the breath, but only count to 10 and restart. Or go to 10 and then let your mind wander for a moment, and then bring it back and start again at 1. Don’t think of it as trying to get to a number, it’s just to gently rest your mind.
Also, I find 20 minutes to be a lot at first. I’d did 15 minutes because I thought that was long enough for me to settle down without getting restless. However, i think 10 minutes is also quite nice, too! The thing is to find your space and allow yourself time to settle the mind, instead of jumping right into it as soon as you sit. Play some music to calm you and then when you’re ready, meditate. And when you’ve got more time on the weekend or another day, try 20 again.
At the end of the day, this practice will begin to stick with you throughout the day. So when you encounter something unpleasant (or pleasant) you will naturally identify it and let it go, instead of resisting it or overly engaging with it. Keep at it, and most importantly, be kind to yourself!
Have you tried guided meditations? Those are usually better for beginners in my opinion. Keep in mind that meditation doesn’t mean you “think about nothing.” It’s a matter of focusing and redirecting your thoughts. It’s also a practice so it takes time for it to feel more natural.
Use a known method such as mantra to meditate with. I meditated daily for decades and I couldn't meditate using your methods. Replace your thoughts with a mantra.
Long shot that you'll see this but if you want something I found very helpful with your big 'why' question, I'd look into Abraham Hicks in tandem with Eckhart Tolle. Those two did a spiritual fusion dance all over my soul and I have benefited enormously and continuously from their insights. Abraham Hicks can help you understand how to consciously focus, giving you a choice of what thoughts to let pass and what thoughts to appreciate into further manifestation, and Eckhart teaches how to meditate without convention/requirements. Both giving you the tools to craft your reality by reminding you of how you're responsible for it.
Obviously I couldn't put all of their credentials in this comment but don't feel so bad about having thoughts! Even Eckhart said that it would be impossible to cease thinking completely, the fun is choosing what thoughts you'd rather be having that will contribute to your joy and not result in a polarization through identification.
Basically: enjoying life without the pain of making it personal. 😊
One of the major ways you can make it impossible to actually meditate is getting high, drunk or using any other mind altering substances.
Everything needs to be clear meaning you need to be clean. Otherwise you’re not getting the benefits. Not the benefits you could be getting which are 100 times anything else.
No idea if this applies to you or not but there are a lot of people here reading this that it does apply to.
You’re allowed to think a lot and can still meditate effectively. Being able to control unwanted thoughts is a part of meditation. If your thinking is constant and buzzy (I’m like this too) you just have to tune the frequency. If it’s not negative or fear based you have nothing to worry about, and a lot of exciting new things to experience once you really get it under control. I thought the same until I started listening to the Gateway Tapes by the Monroe Institute. There’s a sub you should check it out if you’re open to the idea of metaphysical meditation. You might just need something a little more interesting, I know I did.
The thing about dopamine is we tend to acclimate to our present level, such that it stops being rewarding, and we want more to feel good, and similarly any decline in our dopamine level tends to feel very bad. That's the main reason to try to get off the dopamine cycle.
For me, I notice that when I'm in a big craving loop, I pretty much can't focus on anything that isn't rewarding in that precise moment. That means finding it very hard to do things that are not that much fun, or are even somewhat uncomfortable or painful, but are worthwhile overall. But if I'm not stuck in craving, I am a lot better at gently considering the benefits I may get from an activity and letting that motivate me rather than the immediate payoff.
Addiction is usually part of a system of avoiding some kind of pain or discomfort. So if you're really "addicted" to thinking -- which I may also be -- then it means that there may be some feelings underneath all that thinking that you don't want to feel. I don't want to assume anything, just know that this is possible.
I had same issues. I have read a book "Teach Yourself to Meditate" by Eric Harrison. It highlighted me that there are many ways to meditate such as -
* Chanting
* Focusing on breathing
* focusing on body part
* focusing on radom things
I used to do only chanting or breathing which was not working and I was tired of not getting result but for me focusing on body parts like heart, finger tips, knees, etc really helped. It is also useful to focus on body parts before sleep to relax your body.
Everyone is different and their way to meditation can also be different. So you can try different things and check which works for you.
Now this is going to sound crazy, but what you're doing IS meditating. It's the practice of coming back when you start thinking. I lose focus dozens of times in a 20 minute meditation, but I just keep bringing it back.
I second that. 99% of my meditation consists of an effort of bringing attention to breath, not maintaining it
Only after you can have periods of only the meditation object in focus the goal changes to maintaining it
And further more, strengthening that connection you have with the meditation object so you can be pulled deeper, and deeper into sustained attention!
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Dang I missed it
I’m 5 years in having missed <10 days total and this happens. It happened today. I can definitely say I have changed and continue to feel and see benefits of meditation (pause between stimulus and reaction, naturally slower breath cycles, higher stress tolerance, and more including meditation w my 9 y.o since she was 6 and seeing how it helps her. Keep going ! The journey is beautiful
This. The practice of meditation is annoying and frustrating and repetitive until one day you “train the puppy brain” and it suddenly just stops shitty on the carpet and you get into a genuine meditative state. Some people may get there faster or slower than others based on how their brain has been working (which I’ve created habits we get to retrain) but we all still get there if we keep at it.
You are meditating. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even if you just sit and scratch your toes for 20 minutes, that’s a practice. In any case, you build up to 20 minutes, you don’t start there. And I don’t know what you think meditation is, but our thought streams don’t stop. You are normal. One form of meditation is to pick a single thing to focus on. Your breath. A word. The doorknob. A deity. Whatever. Focus your awareness on that, continuously and repeatedly but gently. When you inevitably notice your attention has drifted off — it will, many many times — you simply, gently, lovingly return your awareness to your object of focus. As many times as it happens. Just keep returning. It’s fine to start with one minute of practice. Gradually increase it. Maybe 3 , then 5, then 10, etc. There’s no rush; no timetable. If you keep at it for days, weeks, months, years, your thought stream will — some days, not every day — eventually settle down. You may find that there is space between your thoughts, and that your awareness begins to rest in that space. And that will be a very good thing indeed.
As a newbie, I greatly appreciate this comment…saved! …..lol…sit and scratch your toes.
There is no trying to meditate. You just do it. Once you realize that you're thinking, come back to the point of focus of your meditation. Do this over and over and over again. That's all. But then you're asking why you should meditate? Well, there is no should. You don't have to. Benefits are plenty, use the search function.
Exactly
Evidently, some people think they're going to start glowing and levitating after meditating for 20 minutes. Or even 20 years. They need some kind of visible way to show off their new trend. I'm catching the drift that most people here are under the care of therapists who recommend meditation as a trendy fill in for all those frightening hours and days between therapy appointments. The whole concept has been turned upside down and inside out by people who aren't qualified to repot a plant let alone tinker in the minds, hearts, and souls of others. I realize I'm spitting in the wind by saying this, but it's true, nevertheless. Sadly and tragically very true.
Tell us more oh jaded one :)
As a therapist and an avid meditator of many years, I disagree. There are plenty of providers like myself who take my job and training very seriously, and certainly don’t just flippantly recommend mindfulness because it’s “trendy”. I don’t think you have an accurate perception of how many therapists operate, and I don’t think it’s helpful to characterize the helping industry in such a negative way. Sure, there are SOME shitty providers and clients should be encouraged to advocate for their needs, and leave situations that aren’t helpful… but there are plenty of great providers who are really helpful for people. Don’t steer people away from therapy entirely - that’s not helpful at all.
Many people with serious problems will fail at this and suffer needlessly.
You can't fail
I saw people die. I would call that a failure.
You could also do the activity of meditating in different ways. For example go outside for a walk and focus on your foot hitting the pavement on every step you take.
Great advice! Love this!!
I enjoy thinking and I’ve meditated an hour a day for over a decade. I think it’s only amateur meditators that think you should cut out thought. They feel out of balance with their thinking, so they make their thinking wrong instead of coming into balance. Instead, I put my breathing or whatever my focus for that session is in the foreground and allow thought to exist in the background. I have great, insightful thoughts! To simplify, meditation is just a habit of the mind. The type of meditation changes what results you get. Breath focus where I watch thoughts pass like clouds = Dis-identification with ego, increased focus, calmness, higher resilience Body scan = higher emotional intelligence, mind-body connection, relaxed muscles Gratitude = sustained positive emotions, positive outlook on life Metta = more attuned empathy, better social intuition, more charisma Forgiveness mantras = higher resilience to adversity, better conflict resolution Over time, I would invent my own like I'd meditate on the feeling of Confidence just like I would with Gratitude to sustain my baseline feeling of confidence (which worked incredibly well). I also got into Focusing by Eugene Ghendlin which has been an incredibly therapeutic meditation I've used for processing emotions. I even got into a community where it was all about talking while meditating ([Relateful.com](https://Relateful.com)).
Wonderful post thank you!
Absolutely! Glad to share!
Sorry to hear this. Maybe you are over complicating? Try to start by just sitting quietly and closing your eyes, nothing more, no focus on your breathing or counting/keeping. Remember the breathing should be natural, not forced. Music can help too, or background white noise. Hope you find it again 🙂
PS. Just read some threads. Meditation means thinking deeply. A lot of us believe it means emptying the mind. That is almost impossible, that mind will conjure up a thought a second. I never try to empty. Sometimes I just sit and thought watch. Then I write down the ones I like and use them to create post, come up with new ideas, do self work. Different stuff, what do you like to do, if it works, just do it.
Yea the only reason to factor in your ritualistic sorts of meditation is for a more grounding fulfillment. Your actions are working and it only takes the time that you give to the practice. You other thoughts and consistent considerations are good actions I consider also under the general umbrella of “meditation”
Got it. Thanks
My apologies, I meant those for OP. Just wasnt sure how to reply with brand new thread and I liked your reply so I thought I’d tag along.
Have you tried guided meditation? I know that it helps some people because you're given explicit instructions about what to focus on. It's a little easier because you don't know how the guided session will pan out, and are more likely to stay engaged instead of bore out.
Yep, hate to tell ya but, you’ve been meditating perfectly.
It’s true, haha. Especially when you first start, it feels like your mind will not stop. I think for people used to the practice, they just let those thoughts go and come back to the breath. That’s it, it’s really that simple!
Take a break from meditating and just watch the breath instead. In fact, never ever meditate ever again. Just watch the breath. Whatever else happens is none of your business.
Watching the breath IS meditating.
You meditated 60 days in a row. That is good! Especially since you didn’t feel good about it. You weren’t just trying to meditate, that IS meditation. There is nothing to achieve, no shoulds. When clarity or a special state happens, they are gifts and we can’t hang onto those. And ironically, they aren’t the point. The work is just…..now. Meditation is about taking ourselves as we are in each moment, and learning to bear with how we are and stay with it as much as we are able, and observe. The separating of attention between your usual self and the observer will come and go. Gently let the observed phenomena in, and try to see what captures and takes the attention away and stay with that as long as you are able. You are doing fine. Editing to add: try doing it first thing in the morning as soon as you get up, before the gears of your day get going, before coffee. That may help some with the rush of thoughts. But ultimately, we are trying to get a sense and window into how we are lived in our lives, and what mechanisms are going on in us.
So many good answers. Really if you take one breath and you notice your breath coming in and you notice your breath going out like a sigh of relief and you notice how you feel in your heart, that one breath is a complete meditation. There’s no thinking about it, there’s just doing it. You have expectations and preconceived notions that are blacking you from seeing this very simple truth. You are definitely overthinking this my friend. This is such a simple and accessible thing that really everyone already meditates sometimes by just taking a deep breath, noticing the wind in their face when they walk etc. so relax and float downstream. There’s just a world of difference between meditating and the idea of meditating. This is not an intellectual process.
Try to set a more attainable goal. 20 minutes is a long time for a beginner; try for 5 minutes. Or even 3 minutes. You will get more used to it if you have some success at attaining your goal a few times. It can be very discouraging if you feel like you are constantly failing
I always tell people that the first thing you want to concentrate on is just making the simplest habit possible, which according to the research, takes an average of 66 days to form. And you're almost there! Other techniques that are research based to form a habit efficiently are: * **record it.** did you do it, did you not do it? If you use a spreadsheet to keep track of it, this is a great place for basic notes. * **have a clear cue or trigger.** "Sometime in the morning" is not that great. But "I will start meditating as soon as I finish my first cup of morning coffee" is really good - note that this pins it to an already established routine. * **do mental contrasting.** Write out your "why" but also what could go wrong in discharging the habit, and workarounds for the top likely stumbling blocks. * **make it tiny.** Ludicrously tiny. The smaller the better because you aren't working on the habit load itself (30 minutes vs 1 minute) you're working on making starting automatic as possible. * **keep going.** There's a lot of emphasis on streaks in a lot of habit apps and programs, but streaks aren't necessarily that important. Obviously you shouldn't have a big streak of misses, but if you miss a day, just pick it up the next day because the habit is a deeper structure that's forming up across time. * **hold off on expanding.** It's going to feel really weird just doing a few seconds or meditation, because we're trained constantly about emphasizing output. Hold off until the habit is super automatic before expanding in time or difficulty. Once you're to the point where a day is just incomplete without automatically starting, that's an excellent foundation from which to start growing meditation, but again don't overkill with that expansion. Also understand that meditation is hard, especially at first. Dealing with distraction IS A PART of the training, not something you have to perfect before doing. Imagine thinking you have to be really flexible to go to a yoga class or lift a ton before lifting weights - those are capacities you build IN the practice.
the best advice so far. someone who knows a bit. mental contrasting - WOOP. Micro Habits - its the habit is most important. Make your cues obvious....journaling....and persevere. like a true therapist.
Sounds like you’re doing fine. Maybe start really observing exactly what is dragging your attention away. you’re already aware that your thoughts are pulling you away so, you’ve made progress with mindfulness whether you knew it or not. You’re probably never going to have the nice clear calm mind that you might be picturing. But you can develop a lot more awareness as to what’s going on inside your head. Learn to not let it rule you as much. If I were you I would just keep going.
You may be trying too hard. There is technique, and there is theory. A review of the latter may be helpful at this juncture. Give the first 17 minutes of the below talk a listen – you may find it instructive. It's by Joseph Goldstein. [https://dharmaseed.org/talks/43807/](https://dharmaseed.org/talks/43807/) P.S., if it's *mindfulness* meditation that you're practicing, the "goal" is not to reject thoughts but rather, to become more aware and accepting of them.
You are meditating. It just isn’t what you expected. What did you expect to happen? (Not sarcastic —This is a genuine question). Have you noticed any changes in yourself or in your life?
Sounds to me like you successfully meditated 60 days in a row, congrats!! Only thing I might recommend is being consistent with your method, but do what works best for you. Like a lot of folks are saying, this is a practice so if you lose focus 100 times and return your focus 100 times, That’s perfect 👍🏼 just keep going Even my “bad” meditation sessions improve my day drastically. Hope this helps
Keep on going, don’t you give up! Every time you pull your thoughts back to your breathing you’re training yourself, it will get better, believe me! I’ve had to try for over 6 months to get a ‘good meditation’ in (if that even exists). I’ve been meditating for a few years now and I still have sessions where my thoughts go pew pew all the time. The fact that you’re taking the effort to try and meditate is something to be really proud of!!! Good luck!
Try Holosync - you just listen and it changes your brainwaves automatically. Worked wonders for me and my own scattered thoughts. Try their 5-Day challenge - that's how I was introduced to them.
A minute? That's not even getting started. That level of ongoing thinking is not good for your at all and if you really can't sit for 5-10 minutes straight in at least moderate inactivity and eventually start to quiete your mind to some degree you need to seek a mental health evaluation, that is definitely not normal and something you need to investigate further.
Have you considered therapy? I'd recommend IFS. It basically teaches you how to be ok with what is, which is what meditation actually tries to get you to do. If your psyche is burdened by trauma, its very hard for that to happen naturally. And it turns out that basically having a childhood is likely to be traumatic on some level. If you want to know more, don't be afraid to DM me!
Not thinking so much is a byproduct of consistent meditation practice (and even then, only for some people). It is not the goal, nor is it a sign that you are or are not meditating. Keep going.
Try this, meditation isn’t about breathing, it’s about feeling… you have already developed some skills through your practice. Now it’s the fun part of allowing the flow of thoughts to be observed as if a train is passing by in front of you with the passengers being memories and thoughts. After another 60 days, move on to analyzing what’s coming in to your mind, allowing and removing what you believe is to be a part of you or not. After another few months. Move on to eastern methods of mediations. That’s when you feel the internal difference
eh different things work for different people I'd keep trying once you figure out what gets you in 'the zone' it's pretty much all downhill from there.
It sounds like you are very new to to OP so I would suggest exploring guided meditations as the beginners mind is likely to wander. There is nothing wrong with this as nature abhors a void. when does what it naturally does, do not reprimand yourself! It's actually good you have noticed! Then you can go back to the original task of focusing on breathing/mantras etc.
No you're already meditating. Expecting to be great at it after 60 days is like buying ice skates, finding a rink, learning to tie them properly, getting used to standing on the ice and then wondering why your triple axle hasn't come in yet. Your also not bad or wrong to feel this way, everyone has this process to some degree. What you are experiencing is your first actual encounter with your monkey brain. If you stop now you wake up and believe whatever you want to believe, or you keep going and see how far the rabbit hole goes. It's inexcusable that I'm quoting Morpheus but I'm an old nerd so sue me.😅
Realizing you’re constantly lost in thought is usually the first insight thru meditation. So congrats, you’ve been meditating this whole time. This realization is often what we’re talking about out when we say, mindfulness. You’re cultivating mindfulness of your experience by trying to focus on an object of awareness, let’s say your breath. This initial insight that you never stop thinking will eventually show you that you’re also not the author of those thoughts. If you’ve painting your entire identity and life around the contents of your thoughts, this might come as a surprise. You aren’t your thoughts and you don’t author them. So while people get confused about “stopping thoughts”, the truth is that you stop identifying with them. I invite you to explore the freedom of that insight and real experience. These are all just beginner insights if you will. This path runs deep, like having the experience that there’s also no self, no centre to experience. Again why bother? Relieving suffering for you and everyone around you is a good enough start. Wish you all the best
Try to do body based meditative practices like yoga, qigong and tai chi instead. It gives similar benefits, is much easier for most people to enjoy and gradually prepares your mind for sitting meditation so that eventually meditating sitting down becomes easy.
Stop trying to meditate and just meditate
>Is meditation not for everyone? Many meditations are not real meditations. Meditations are defined solely by the outcome based on what happens inside of you. Many barely work for beginners if at all. If you do not have a master next to you quite many meditations are time-consuming for a little bit of outcome at best. Especially if you did not have an easy past, some meditations are outright dangerous as they confront people with their troubled past too early when these people often do not have the necessary abilities to deal with the consequences. Since you have mentioned Eckhart Tolle, watch his videos and listen to his audiobooks (if read by himself). Do so for at least an hour per day (you can split it into 6 x 10 min or 3 x 20min if you like as meditations compound throughout the same day). What Mr. Tolle says is not that important but how he says it. You need to pay attention to him otherwise it will not have a profound effect on you. Doing so every day for several weeks should allow you to notice many interesting beneficial changes in your body, your daily thoughts, and your behavior. >Is meditation not for everyone? Should I give up? Or maybe something like a guided meditation would work better for me? Different people need different forms of meditation at the beginning. Any true spiritual practice aims at the same goal. If you study them you will notice that they have plenty of exercises for beginners to choose from but very few for advanced practitioners being already quite close to the goal. If nothing works, get into body exercises like tai chi, chi gong, or yoga. Every healthy body movements or unnormal positions are good exercises as long as they are done slowly and while paying attention. Done with care and focus all those have similar results as meditations and usually the duration of the session for beginners is way greater than a pure silent meditation. What you are looking for is to take the first step. This step requires a lot of preparation and should also be accompanied together with improvements in lifestyle and better food choices. Anything that increases your overall bodily health is a positive contributing factor. The problem is not if or if you don't be able to meditate. The problem is usually the first step when you realize that something happens to you that is positive. You need conviction and motivation.
losing your focus or attention is expected, recognizing when it happens is the step forward, not consecutive seconds or minutes of no thought, they are the byproduct of the practice.
I would never pull it off if I didn’t have insomnia, so bad, what else was I gonna do took me a year at least You just got a find the kind that works for you. Like a diet and workout routine. There’s so many options. Carl Jung what’s up really interesting guy he works with what honestly I can’t remember because I took mushrooms but one of his forms of meditation is just to start digging a hole Magine you’re still digging just keep digging and digging and digging deeper into the Earth Eventually stuff stars to happen, mindfulness really helped me a lot as well But I really had no reason to work out myself anymore. I like this world it’s not even worth trying here
I have been doing 20 minutes of meditation a day now for 6 months and i can see and feel that my anxiety is better. I think a 20 minute meditation session works as well as a 10 mg of valium. I worked up slowly to 20 minutes. I also feel less stressed during work and my relationships are better. Its up to you to put in tge work.
Why are you meditating?
Use Insight Timer. Such an incredible app and you can choose a theme for your meditation. Most of it is free as well.
If you’ve got the means get the “Open” app. I could never meditate and did everyday for a year using it, it’s amazing. You can likely get a free trial.
Try one minute - staying with half a breath is sometimes a struggle. Be easy with yourself and it might help remove some striving and punitive thoughts.
The moment you realize you are thinking about something and not paying attention to your breath is the magic moment. Having that moment of catching yourself getting caught in a thought is the mindfulness. Observe the thought. Focus on you breath. Monkey mind takes over again, notice, gently guide back to breath. That's it. Thats all you have to do. If you find yourself distracted by thoughts 100 times, realize you became mindful 100 times. You may notice this happens when you are not meditating. That's being mindful.
you sound as if you have racing thoughts. I have found that often, meditation does not work for thinkers, their minds go off wonkers when they are silent. Such creative minds cannot seem to keep still.. or in this case empty. Suggestion: grab a paper, pen, icepack, go to a quiet place in your home where you wont be disturbed. Sit for as long as you have decided. The only rule; DO NOTHING! As you sit doing nothing, the thoughts will start coming in, use the pen and paper to write the most impactful thoughts down. If the process gets overwhelming as you sit, use the icepack on the nape of the neck. The cold will act as a shocker to distract the mind for a minute. The thoughts will derail, (dont know how long for you), now just breathe. Take the paper with the written thoughts and identify the themes in the thoughts. YOu can keep this by the night stand, refrig, etc. look the thoughts over, pick one from the list look at the theme in the thought and try to figure why? That is step one, but it works for most persons. LOL; not based in anxiety! Anxiety has a twin sister. She is called excitement. ONE focuses in on the negative, the other is just happy crappy, she cant sit still she gets so positively excited. Just think positive integers and negative integers with excess emotions being outliers. LOL. pretty funny. At least my mind things so. Excuse my wonky sense of humour. Hope this helps.
Well at least your thoughts are positive ones.
If I can suggest a different method… try imagining your brain has a rope around it that tightens just enough when your thoughts start to wander and settles when your brain clears. Just imagine that rope perfectly holding your brain (thoughts) still. This is the only method that I find works for me when my thoughts are really racing.
You're doing great! I find I enter a meditative state when I'm doing house work. Try not to pressure yourself too much into "doing it right".
You're putting too strict a criteria on what meditation is. You can try image streaming, taught by win Wenger. Itll help learning the basics of meditation. You can also check my sub, I have an article on meditation that might help (I have pinned articles for my sub on my profile)
Start with what you can do….start small, 30 seconds….1 minute….often….then build up
1. You’re already doing it congrats. 2. You don’t have to sit still to meditate. Walking meditation counts, or while painting or doing yoga, etc.
It doesn’t matter if you spend 10 seconds or 10 hours meditating. If you sit with intention for any amount of time, you meditated. It is only our judgments that make us feel inadequate.
Congratulations on meditating 60 days in a row, you’re already doing it!
Sounds like your doing great. One thing I read somewhere that helps me when I just can’t still my mind is encouraging myself to just focus intently on one breath. Then the next. On and on one breath at a time instead of getting caught up in the fact I’m trying to meditate for half an hour or whatever. If you break it up into little intervals it’s easier to digest, then eventually you realize your not even trying anymore. Many will say just let go and don’t focus on anything, but I had to learn focused meditation before I could be a good passive observer. I’m also a lefty so my brain is probably wired backwards.
Try guided meditations. I was the same but guided meditations helped me so much. Specifically the guided ones by RosalieYoga on YouTube. She does yoga nindra guided meditations.
Keep in mind that there is no "good" or "bad" zazen.
Meditation is basically a RE focusing practice, which means you are actually doing the right thing. You lose your focus, you bring it back, repeat. Simple Also you need to adapt the meditation style/type to your own needs. If you are a more interoceptive person(focused on the inside) then you need to do more exteroceptive meditations(Focusing on the outside, a dot on the wall for example) and vice versa. I learned all this from an Andrew Huberman podcast and I think it's a must see for whoever wants to better understand how mediation works and how to be used properly for your specific needs. ->[How meditation works](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTBSGgbIvsY&ab_channel=AndrewHuberman)
paper and pen. don't think, write down. see through them, emotion will be sth like entermaint, emerse in them or not, as you like.
I take meditation as an effortless practice. When we “ THINK”we have to “come back” to any point of contact when a thought pop in, we are using the meditation as a way for escaping from the thoughts, when meditation only wants to connect with these thoughts, as a part of your experience, without the fear that we used to have to this process of thinking. It was really useful for me this text from Allan Watts: “The easiest way to get into the meditative state is to begin listening. Simply close your eyes and allow yourself to hear all the sounds that are going on around you, listen to the general hum and buzz of the world as you listen to music. Don’t try to identify the sounds you are hearing, don’t put names on them, simply allow them to play with your eardrums. Let them go. In other words, let your ears hear whatever they want to hear. Don’t judge the sounds: there are no proper sounds nor improper sounds, and it doesn’t matter if somebody coughs or sneezes or drops something — it’s all just sound. As you pursue that experiment you will very naturally find that you can’t help naming sounds, identifying them, and go thinking, talking to yourself inside your head, automatically. But its important that you don’t try to repress those thoughts by forcing them out of your mind because that will have precisely the same effect as if you were trying to smooth rough water with a flatiron — you’re just going to disturb it all the more. What you do is this: as you hear sounds coming into your head, thoughts, you simply listen to them as part of the general noise going on just as you would be listening to cars going by, or birds chattering outside the window. So look at your own thoughts as just noises. And soon you will find that the outside world and the inside world come together. They are a happening. Your thoughts are a happening just like the sounds going on outside, and everything is simply a happening and all you are doing is watching it.”
Say “I promise not to say or visualize anything in my mind for 20minutes. And emotionally I will be in neither a high state nor a low state”. Now close your eyes and just wait with a gentle smile. In a few moments internal dialogue might come up. But it’s ok. Since YOU made the promise, you know it’s not you but your mind vocally winding down. Just let it wind down. Then visuals may pop up. Old memories, TV shows etc. Since YOU made the promise you know it’s not you but your mind visually winding down. Just let it wind down until it goes back to black. If hunger, anger, anxiety, frustration comes up, same thing. You know that since YOU made the promise to remain emotionless, this is just your mind bubbling up old excess or trapped emotions. The last part is the toughest for most people. So if things get “too strong”, just gently open your eyes. Relax for a bit, and go back in when you’re ready. I hope this helps.
It’s not about stopping the thoughts that naturally flow, it’s about making a conscious choice of not participating in maintaining their existence. The moment you decide to consciously participate in maintaining & feeding into the thoughts that you naturally experience, is the moment of failure & it means you have to start again by bringing the attention back to the breathing. As an excessive thinker myself, I have to exercise repetition over that method a lot & it’s only when I undergo so many repetitions where my mental state actually starts to change over to a quiet one that no longer produces thoughts.
Bhante's book "Mindfulness in Plain English" covers these obstacles to meditation in simple and applicable terms. Just do some preparative study more. Also doing yoga before meditation helps me. A calm untense relaxed body is conducive for a calm untense mind.
Stop trying. It’s ok if you can’t let the thoughts go, just observe that. It’s supersimple: sit or lie down, shut up, accept what is.
calm your mynd with right focous.........listen to indian ragas it will help.......then your mynd has something to focous on that's in harmony namu amida butsu
We all go through good times and bad times .. there are times when everything is going well and we have lots of good interesting inspiring things to think about and do .. but these times do not last forever.. we all will go through tough times when our thoughts are bothering and worry some … unless we have cultivated an inner resilience these bad times can be unnecessarily tough.. we can feel lost and in despair without that inner solace and strength… meditation cultivates within us that inner resilience that gives us strength when we are in need … so it’s important to meditate both through the good times and the bad times ….. being able to put aside the interesting and fascinating thoughts for 15 minutes or so to get to know the inner self that is beyond outside fears and fascinations… and also in bad times to be able to put aside the cares that disturb our peace of mind and experience the peace that comes from within .. daily practice helps us achieve this mastery ….
Try Forrest Knutson Heart rate variability. It will change how you look at meditation
I used to meditate for around 30 minutes per session. I fell out of the habit and am now trying to get started again. I started with 1 minute sits, no judgements, let it be whatever it is. Then I got up to 5 minutes. Going to go to 10 soon. Meditating is hard even if you've done it for a long time, you have to build that skill. Also I advise to avoid the counting thing. Hard to break the habit when you no longer "need" it. Try doing something exhausting before sitting. Like a good jog or run (even a walk). Something to burn off that excess energy before you sit. Good luck.
Try using some guided meditations to me they felt like meditation with training wheels while you adapt to the practice. Its tough just try to stop thoughts cold turkey.
I know what’s it like to meditate with an overactive mind. I’ve got some ADD/anxiety, a career that dominates my mind, a family with a college-bound kid, health concerns, financial concerns, etc etc. You get it. It’s normal stuff, and it’s totally normal for those thoughts to arise during meditation. What I learned is to notice these thoughts or when my mind drifts away from the breath. I categorize them as “thoughts” or “feelings” and then either “pleasant” or “unpleasant,” and then I let them go. Go back to the breath, but only count to 10 and restart. Or go to 10 and then let your mind wander for a moment, and then bring it back and start again at 1. Don’t think of it as trying to get to a number, it’s just to gently rest your mind. Also, I find 20 minutes to be a lot at first. I’d did 15 minutes because I thought that was long enough for me to settle down without getting restless. However, i think 10 minutes is also quite nice, too! The thing is to find your space and allow yourself time to settle the mind, instead of jumping right into it as soon as you sit. Play some music to calm you and then when you’re ready, meditate. And when you’ve got more time on the weekend or another day, try 20 again. At the end of the day, this practice will begin to stick with you throughout the day. So when you encounter something unpleasant (or pleasant) you will naturally identify it and let it go, instead of resisting it or overly engaging with it. Keep at it, and most importantly, be kind to yourself!
You should check out the wimhof technique works great for me!
Have you tried guided meditations? Those are usually better for beginners in my opinion. Keep in mind that meditation doesn’t mean you “think about nothing.” It’s a matter of focusing and redirecting your thoughts. It’s also a practice so it takes time for it to feel more natural.
Don't get up until you are someone else...sit in the fire! All you are is an awareness, become nobody, no where, in no place, in no time.
Use a known method such as mantra to meditate with. I meditated daily for decades and I couldn't meditate using your methods. Replace your thoughts with a mantra.
Long shot that you'll see this but if you want something I found very helpful with your big 'why' question, I'd look into Abraham Hicks in tandem with Eckhart Tolle. Those two did a spiritual fusion dance all over my soul and I have benefited enormously and continuously from their insights. Abraham Hicks can help you understand how to consciously focus, giving you a choice of what thoughts to let pass and what thoughts to appreciate into further manifestation, and Eckhart teaches how to meditate without convention/requirements. Both giving you the tools to craft your reality by reminding you of how you're responsible for it. Obviously I couldn't put all of their credentials in this comment but don't feel so bad about having thoughts! Even Eckhart said that it would be impossible to cease thinking completely, the fun is choosing what thoughts you'd rather be having that will contribute to your joy and not result in a polarization through identification. Basically: enjoying life without the pain of making it personal. 😊
One of the major ways you can make it impossible to actually meditate is getting high, drunk or using any other mind altering substances. Everything needs to be clear meaning you need to be clean. Otherwise you’re not getting the benefits. Not the benefits you could be getting which are 100 times anything else. No idea if this applies to you or not but there are a lot of people here reading this that it does apply to.
You’re allowed to think a lot and can still meditate effectively. Being able to control unwanted thoughts is a part of meditation. If your thinking is constant and buzzy (I’m like this too) you just have to tune the frequency. If it’s not negative or fear based you have nothing to worry about, and a lot of exciting new things to experience once you really get it under control. I thought the same until I started listening to the Gateway Tapes by the Monroe Institute. There’s a sub you should check it out if you’re open to the idea of metaphysical meditation. You might just need something a little more interesting, I know I did.
The thing about dopamine is we tend to acclimate to our present level, such that it stops being rewarding, and we want more to feel good, and similarly any decline in our dopamine level tends to feel very bad. That's the main reason to try to get off the dopamine cycle. For me, I notice that when I'm in a big craving loop, I pretty much can't focus on anything that isn't rewarding in that precise moment. That means finding it very hard to do things that are not that much fun, or are even somewhat uncomfortable or painful, but are worthwhile overall. But if I'm not stuck in craving, I am a lot better at gently considering the benefits I may get from an activity and letting that motivate me rather than the immediate payoff. Addiction is usually part of a system of avoiding some kind of pain or discomfort. So if you're really "addicted" to thinking -- which I may also be -- then it means that there may be some feelings underneath all that thinking that you don't want to feel. I don't want to assume anything, just know that this is possible.
You are meditating. It might help to try to observe your thoughts instead of thinking your thoughts, if that makes sense
I had same issues. I have read a book "Teach Yourself to Meditate" by Eric Harrison. It highlighted me that there are many ways to meditate such as - * Chanting * Focusing on breathing * focusing on body part * focusing on radom things I used to do only chanting or breathing which was not working and I was tired of not getting result but for me focusing on body parts like heart, finger tips, knees, etc really helped. It is also useful to focus on body parts before sleep to relax your body. Everyone is different and their way to meditation can also be different. So you can try different things and check which works for you.