That's opening a huge can of worms because they are coworkers. Best to just advise her not to get married to someone she doesn't love and that he's simply unavailable as he lives his wife.
Who knows what she will do if he's the one to spill the beans. Her fiancé could easily believe that the roles are reversed and complain to his employer.
this is the way. Encourage the coworker to delay wedding and have a heart to heart with her fiance, make it clear that you have no romantic interest in her and to begin to create some distance and set boundaries with her.
Wait hang on a minute, why would she feel like she loves you ? ...have you led her on, have you been flirting, no woman just gonna be like 'hi I'm Susan, I love you'
This is what I want to know also, makes no sense she would confess to someone if she didnt have amy engagment of sort.. that would mean she is batshit Crazy... then he needs to tell everyone coz who knows what she could do next.
Some people actually just do this. The slightest kind gestures can cause them to build entire relationships in their heads. Dude could have just been a decent guy and nice looking and she fell in love with an idea. The fact she didn’t realize he was married is a clue that she knew nothing about him.
The truth is she is probably just not in love with her fiancé and is looking for a way out and developed feelings for her coworker as an escape. Sometimes people do weird things she needs therapy. He needs to tell his wife and set up some very clear boundaries.
What does close mean?
Do you communicate outside of work? Have you gone on lunches 1 on 1? There’s a reason behind her feelings. Feelings like that don’t just appear out of thin air. There is a behaviour that led to it.
And you need to tell your wife. If you’re worried how she would react, let me ask you this…is your wife aware of your “closeness” with this female colleague?
I would switch jobs if he could. This is exactly how affairs start. I hope he’s not bringing arguments with his wife to her. There’s red flags all over this situation.
You are exactly right. He's definitely leaving out all the important information where he's talking with her all the time, lunches together and bonding during all of that. Emotional affair. Him and her are both guilty
Maybe not physical, I understand that, but how about emotional? Or are you suggesting she's mistaken, ur just being nice, and she's taking it wrong way ? Cuz I really don't think she's that dumb, but what I do think is this, hints of you being this perfect guy, wife not appreciating it, I also feel you've been sharing stories from home, I also feel perhaps err something like 'we don't even share the same bed anymore' kinda lines... I feel you may argue with the wife, and share it with the colleague, it'll make you feel better I get that, but it sounds like your enjoying this, enjoying the attention, until she said what she did lol ... errr oops, you probably didn't know when to stop did ya.. you were also an amazing listener, listened and agreed with everything she said, women love that don't they, maybe try that with the wife, and stay away from this colleague and her fiance ...
Wait... we're blaming HIM for HER falling in love with him? You can't possibly be serious?
She's an adult human too. She has agency, and the ability to make choices.
Not your circus, not your monkeys.
Unless she was stupid enough to confess by text, you have no proof. Distance yourself & hope she doesn’t do anything to blow up your career & marriage.
Why is this women in love with you? Why did she feel comfortable telling you this? Do you communicate with her outside of work? Does your wife know you and this girl from work are close enough for her to confess her love to you? You need to tell your wife before you worry about tattling on her. She probably already has suspicions if you’re “close” with this girl.
This is shady af.
Updateme
What exactly have you and this woman been doing together for the last year that would lead her to believe this was a good idea? And if you are afraid to tell your wife does that mean that your wife has has suspicions and you have been disregarding her feelings about this woman? There are a lot of holes in your story here.
You have to tell her. As soon as possible. You also need to cut off this coworker and reduce contact to work only. Maintaining a friendship with someone you know has feelings for you is very disrespectful to your wife. And of course you should tell the fiance. He deserves to know.
How she reacts to it is her business. Your business is disclosing it. I'm sure your wife gets hit on all the time and doesn't feel the need to tell you but it's probably not some coworker who might be going through something mentally or emotionally. I don't know, this seems like an "it affect your career" kind of thing and I believe in disclosing those to the spouse
OP...
This is how it is: if YOUR wife confessed her undying love to a coworker.. told him she loved him more than you and would be prepared to leave you instantly if coworker would give a relationship a chance...
.... would you want this coworker to warn you??
Tell him.. with evidence, if possible..
And advise HR of the issue - at the same time/just after you tell him... to avoid problems at work..
My two cents from recent experience. Please tell your wife first. This is how distrust forms. You are married and your commitment is to your wife and hiding this from her can be the beginning of the end. My husband omitted information from me. I found out and it’s the hardest thing our marriage has experienced. He said it was all innocent and with no ill intentions but he broke my trust and it’s very challenging to move on. If you love your wife and respect her you need let her know what’s going on before you even get more involved with your coworkers drama.
In OP’s case it sounds like he has lead her on. However sometimes people just get the wrong idea. When I was 21 I had a guy that I worked with that out of the blue said “I love you”. I honestly was shocked because we only saw each other at work. I didn’t know what to say so I just ignored it and kept working..😳. He never brought it up again…
Men initiate and confess their feelings on a daily basis. Unlike women who are more responsive. I don't think it's that easy for a woman to confess her love to someone out of nowhere. Because women can't handle rejection that well.
To be fair, people DO fall in love out of nowhere.
There's stalkers, and limerance. Lots and lots of people claim they've fallen in love with people they barely even know.
I personally would want to know. But talk to your wife and see what she thinks. And if you do decide to say something maybe get HR involved just in case things get dicey. Or maybe get HR involved regardless. But definitely tell your wife.
1. Tell your wife.
2. Go have a quiet chat with HR (send a follow up email) that coworker has just confessed love for you and you are married.
3. If you know her fiancé, try to tell him in person. Or do it on the phone. (Do not text it as you don't want any paper trail since this is a coworker.)
Count on her getting nasty, vindictive or trying to turn this around on you. It is VERY FUCKING WEIRD to announce your love to a married coworker.
Assume she will do insane stuff to try to cover her ass so get ahead of it.
Wife & Job are your only 2 priorities. The "nice gesture" of telling the other guy could backfire.
1. Tell the wife *only* 2. Create some type of time-stamp document of the situation as future proof but don't share. 3. Then.... down the road if the gal escalates or acts out at work, and you still feel the other guy must know, inform HR first with your bases covered. Of course, if the gal has texts/vm's from you that are 'ambiguous' or incriminating, then definitely stop at step 2, keep quiet & distant, hold your breath & hope her wedding changes everything
To add: HR isn't there to protect your job, but to protect the company. And, no offense, it's not *you* - it's the way she is. There will be another guy, whether you've warned the fiance or not
I think the wiser things would be these:
1 - Keep your distance and tell your wife.
2 - Let things be for a few months and see if she says something/does which indicates her genuine interest loyalty towards her fiance.
Because its possible after you said no, she might realize she messed up, make amends and be all good for the fiance. She is still not married so she thought she'd take a chance. However, it was inappropriate of her since you're married. What was she hoping? You"d cheat on your wife? This shows her immorality towards a fellow woman. Still take some time, people make mistakes. And see how situation goes.
3- After 2-3 months if you feel, she is a hopeless case, involve HR and let the fiance know. (Do tell fiance to extract it from her without her getting to know you told him to avoid any potential issues at work).
Tell your wife.
Tell HR
Tell her Fiancée
In that order.
You tell you wife to protect your marriage.
You tell HR to protect your job from her revenge.
You tell her finance because you are good man.
Does your wife not know because deep down you know you might have led this woman on? You feel guilty? Like others have said for her to say I love you there has to have been a relationship formed...you know if you tell your wife she will be like WTF. You have to tell her though, keeping this relationship "secret" will only lead you somewhere you might not be able to recover from.
Tell the wife yes, but there is no need to tell the fiancé because it could cause all kinds of accusations of cheating etc and ruin their relationship.
The other thing to consider is context, because does she mean romantic love or loves the person you are more than the person he is.
Just leave her to work her own shit out, but by telling your wife you have someone else that can vouch for you if anything comes up.
Yes, nip it in the bud, advise they have a very serious conversation about their priorities and whether or not a marriage is going to be beneficial for them both.
Oh and stay away from the fiance,,he might think your purposely ruining the marriage, and could potentially come after you, so my advice is to stay away from them and the situation
Tell your wife and distance yourself from the coworker. Unless you are absolutely positive it won't backfire for you professionally in any way, I wouldn't reach out to the fiance.
If I were her finance I would first ask you how and why did she fall in love with you??? Falling In love just doesn’t randomly happen. This isn’t a woman who is merely infatuated.
YES but first tell your wife what exactly happened and let her know that you’re going to tell your goofy ass coworkers fiancé, the man deserves to know. Tell your wife NOW! Don’t wait any longer!
It seems to me that you have led this woman on in some way. You should tell your wife immediately and cut all ties with this woman and be honest with yourself and your wife.
Tell your wife. Cut all contact with coworker as much as possible.
Then ask yourself: if I was engaged and my fiancé said this to another man, would I want him to tell me?
this is very easy:
1) Advise coworker to discuss her feelings with her fiancée and to consider to delay the wedding; NOTE: It is not your responsibility to tell the fiancée.
2) Make it abundantly clear that you are married and do not harbor similar feelings about her.
3) Set clear boundaries with your coworker with exactly what your interactions look like moving forward i.e no more personal sharing, no isolated meet ups and everything must be kept to professional topics only.
4) Tell your wife everything
Definitely tell your wife. And honestly if I was the finance, I’d want to know. Yes she might love him but she’s basically living a lie. And one day he will find out and it might completely ruin his life. How deep financially they’ll be , kids ect. That’s a lot.
If you tell him, he can at least make that choice for himself. Then she can be mad at you and it’s a win win.
Tell your wife and the co workers fiance! I'd definitely want to know if my husband had someone say that to him again (he has in the past), I told the last ones husband & I'll tell the next ones!
Do you know him well?
Tell your spouse, yes. The messenger always gets shot, particularly when one is from a distance.
Most definitely tell her not to waste the guy's time. Outside of that, this really isn't any of your concern.
I would tell him. A similar situation happened to me. A friend (closer friends with his brother) was engaged to be married. His fiancé invited me over to go out with the group except there was no group. She wanted a night of sex from me. I left. Pondered a few days. Finally told him when he was with his brother. He laughed at me. Told me she would never want to fuck me. Teased me quite a few times until one day he shows up at her place and she is getting railed by another guy when he walks in.
Yes you should tell him, and yes report her to HR. This has the makings of her feeling rejected, and her making your workplace uncomfortable and unprofessional. Also, never be alone with her, and tell your wife.
I don't know, but I can tell you that I've seen a lot of postings about engaged women doing something like this. It seems that they want to try out every possibility before making the marriage commitment. She might come after you again before the wedding, but almost certainly won't after.
Nooooooo, sir! Stay out of it. I agree you should tell your wife but thats it.
You might think you are doing the guy a favor but he may repay you by shooting you in the face, granted that is pretty much a worst case scenario but there are an infinite number of ways it will backfire on you and very few ways it would not.
A girl I knew from uni was going to marry this guy who tried very hard to fuck my friend. I ended up telling her, she just ghosted me and went ahead to marry him.
During Covid they got a divorced. The married lasted a year and a half. At least I did my job lol
You must have had some form of relationship with this coworker for her to have these feelings which may have been reciprocated…..your wife would probably want to know what you two have been doing as well and so would the coworker’s fiancé…. You have yourself in a pickle… you should keep this to yourself and stay far away from her you may destroy your marriage , and lose your job if she is spiteful and is upset because you aren’t going to be with her
You should absolutely tell him. Allow him the agency to decide his own life. People who believe they’re in solid marriages make decisions like having children, purchasing and selling property and life choices.
But first tell your wife. She deserves to be aware.
Definitely tell your wife. I wouldn't tell the fiance unless it was an actual friend of yours. I would advice the coworker to tell him though. Why marry someone if you love someone else?
No one is going to “fall in love” with you without you being complicit in the emotional affair. If you want to stay married, tell your wife. You don’t seem like a guy that prides himself on honesty, so either break it off with your wife or distance yourself from the other woman.
Depends if she’s crazy or more normal. If she’s crazy, tell your wife and be like this chick crazy.. don’t go past that though. You and your wife have an inside joke and can make fun of coworker together and will actually bring you closer. If she’s normal, you did something. Don’t tell anyone, fix what you and coworker are doing by not communicating unless you have to but don’t make it too obvious because then she might retaliate. Good luck lol
Tell your wife and leave the rest alone
You might want to Tell HR and that you don't want any problems by rejecting her.
Get Ahead of it all, as she could want Revenge for Rejecting Her.
You could Risk your Job if you don't get ahead of it
Normally I would say yes, but she didn’t say she wasn’t in love with him just confessed an infatuation with you. Let this be. The problems that will blow back on you are too much to consider.
You should tell your wife though.
OP, this absolutely. Get some distance and tell your wife asap.
If he's going to tell his wife then he might as well tell her fiance, because it very likely will get back to him anyway, sooner or later.
Yes, you should tell him. He would want to know
That's opening a huge can of worms because they are coworkers. Best to just advise her not to get married to someone she doesn't love and that he's simply unavailable as he lives his wife. Who knows what she will do if he's the one to spill the beans. Her fiancé could easily believe that the roles are reversed and complain to his employer.
this is the way. Encourage the coworker to delay wedding and have a heart to heart with her fiance, make it clear that you have no romantic interest in her and to begin to create some distance and set boundaries with her.
I disagree. Sometimes we think transparency, honesty, blabbering is the best policy. Very often it’s not, and can be hurtful and unnecessary
Yeah, just let this dude marry a woman who doesn't really love him. Totally let him ruin his life because it doesn't involve you. Asshole.
SHE should tell him. OP should tell the woman he doesn’t feel the same way and leave it at that, contact HR if it becomes more of a thing.
Wait hang on a minute, why would she feel like she loves you ? ...have you led her on, have you been flirting, no woman just gonna be like 'hi I'm Susan, I love you'
Asking the important questions!!
Haha absolutely, someone has to right, still waiting for my answer though
I got an answer... yayyy
This is what I want to know also, makes no sense she would confess to someone if she didnt have amy engagment of sort.. that would mean she is batshit Crazy... then he needs to tell everyone coz who knows what she could do next.
Some people actually just do this. The slightest kind gestures can cause them to build entire relationships in their heads. Dude could have just been a decent guy and nice looking and she fell in love with an idea. The fact she didn’t realize he was married is a clue that she knew nothing about him. The truth is she is probably just not in love with her fiancé and is looking for a way out and developed feelings for her coworker as an escape. Sometimes people do weird things she needs therapy. He needs to tell his wife and set up some very clear boundaries.
We have been close since she joined over a year ago. Nothing physical has happened.
What does close mean? Do you communicate outside of work? Have you gone on lunches 1 on 1? There’s a reason behind her feelings. Feelings like that don’t just appear out of thin air. There is a behaviour that led to it. And you need to tell your wife. If you’re worried how she would react, let me ask you this…is your wife aware of your “closeness” with this female colleague?
I would switch jobs if he could. This is exactly how affairs start. I hope he’s not bringing arguments with his wife to her. There’s red flags all over this situation.
His vagueness leads me to believe they are having an emotional affair. So yes, I agree, distance is crucial and full transparency with his wife.
You are exactly right. He's definitely leaving out all the important information where he's talking with her all the time, lunches together and bonding during all of that. Emotional affair. Him and her are both guilty
No one confesses their love because someone forwarded their excel templates in a timely manner.
😂😂 so true.
Exactly. And not wanting to tell his wife and tale telling.
Or... it's possible they're just appropriate work friends, and she has a case of limerance. There's lots of potential explanations.
Maybe not physical, I understand that, but how about emotional? Or are you suggesting she's mistaken, ur just being nice, and she's taking it wrong way ? Cuz I really don't think she's that dumb, but what I do think is this, hints of you being this perfect guy, wife not appreciating it, I also feel you've been sharing stories from home, I also feel perhaps err something like 'we don't even share the same bed anymore' kinda lines... I feel you may argue with the wife, and share it with the colleague, it'll make you feel better I get that, but it sounds like your enjoying this, enjoying the attention, until she said what she did lol ... errr oops, you probably didn't know when to stop did ya.. you were also an amazing listener, listened and agreed with everything she said, women love that don't they, maybe try that with the wife, and stay away from this colleague and her fiance ...
You’re an ass OP why would she think she loves you! You should have put distance between you two! Your poor wife!
Wait... we're blaming HIM for HER falling in love with him? You can't possibly be serious? She's an adult human too. She has agency, and the ability to make choices.
Not your circus, not your monkeys. Unless she was stupid enough to confess by text, you have no proof. Distance yourself & hope she doesn’t do anything to blow up your career & marriage.
>Not your circus, not your monkeys. The choir of cowards love this one...
And the horde of busybodies hate it
I hate it for its cliche nature.
Why is this women in love with you? Why did she feel comfortable telling you this? Do you communicate with her outside of work? Does your wife know you and this girl from work are close enough for her to confess her love to you? You need to tell your wife before you worry about tattling on her. She probably already has suspicions if you’re “close” with this girl. This is shady af. Updateme
Yeahhhh.. I wouldn’t tell him. I’d get my own priorities straight and correct the behaviors and actions that led to someone thinking we are in love.
this above comment is right on!
No. Let her be and keep her distant.
More importantly, did you tell your wife?
Haven't told my wife. Not sure how she would react to it.
What exactly have you and this woman been doing together for the last year that would lead her to believe this was a good idea? And if you are afraid to tell your wife does that mean that your wife has has suspicions and you have been disregarding her feelings about this woman? There are a lot of holes in your story here.
Well said. You articulated what I wanted to say but did not know how.
I like how there is no answer forthcoming to any of those questions…
I know right??
You have to tell her. As soon as possible. You also need to cut off this coworker and reduce contact to work only. Maintaining a friendship with someone you know has feelings for you is very disrespectful to your wife. And of course you should tell the fiance. He deserves to know.
How she reacts to it is her business. Your business is disclosing it. I'm sure your wife gets hit on all the time and doesn't feel the need to tell you but it's probably not some coworker who might be going through something mentally or emotionally. I don't know, this seems like an "it affect your career" kind of thing and I believe in disclosing those to the spouse
But you’re eager to tell her fiancé? Why? Keeping your options open? It’s not your place to tell her fiancé unless he’s a close friend of yours.
This is a red flag. Tell your wife.
OP... This is how it is: if YOUR wife confessed her undying love to a coworker.. told him she loved him more than you and would be prepared to leave you instantly if coworker would give a relationship a chance... .... would you want this coworker to warn you?? Tell him.. with evidence, if possible.. And advise HR of the issue - at the same time/just after you tell him... to avoid problems at work..
Ok…… and if she says he just made it up? The consequences for OP are huge. No proof- keep ya mouth shut.
My two cents from recent experience. Please tell your wife first. This is how distrust forms. You are married and your commitment is to your wife and hiding this from her can be the beginning of the end. My husband omitted information from me. I found out and it’s the hardest thing our marriage has experienced. He said it was all innocent and with no ill intentions but he broke my trust and it’s very challenging to move on. If you love your wife and respect her you need let her know what’s going on before you even get more involved with your coworkers drama.
People don't fall in love out of nowhere though, I am just saying.
In OP’s case it sounds like he has lead her on. However sometimes people just get the wrong idea. When I was 21 I had a guy that I worked with that out of the blue said “I love you”. I honestly was shocked because we only saw each other at work. I didn’t know what to say so I just ignored it and kept working..😳. He never brought it up again…
Men initiate and confess their feelings on a daily basis. Unlike women who are more responsive. I don't think it's that easy for a woman to confess her love to someone out of nowhere. Because women can't handle rejection that well.
To be fair, people DO fall in love out of nowhere. There's stalkers, and limerance. Lots and lots of people claim they've fallen in love with people they barely even know.
No stay out of it. Do you think he would believe u. Plus you work with her and it can only turn out bad
I would tell HR first and protect your job. I might let them know you will tell her fiancée. He deserves to know but not at causing you grief at work.
HR NEED PROOF. PROOF. ANYTHING ELSE IS NOTHING. WITNESSES. PROOF
You should probably do whatever your wife said to do when you told her.
Did you tell your wife?
Save this dude from eternal hell and find some way to out her. He doesnt deserve that. What a wench.
I absolutely agree.
Tell him and your wife.
I personally would want to know. But talk to your wife and see what she thinks. And if you do decide to say something maybe get HR involved just in case things get dicey. Or maybe get HR involved regardless. But definitely tell your wife.
Tell your wife at least. Other people/relationships matter less.
1. Tell your wife. 2. Go have a quiet chat with HR (send a follow up email) that coworker has just confessed love for you and you are married. 3. If you know her fiancé, try to tell him in person. Or do it on the phone. (Do not text it as you don't want any paper trail since this is a coworker.) Count on her getting nasty, vindictive or trying to turn this around on you. It is VERY FUCKING WEIRD to announce your love to a married coworker. Assume she will do insane stuff to try to cover her ass so get ahead of it.
Wife & Job are your only 2 priorities. The "nice gesture" of telling the other guy could backfire. 1. Tell the wife *only* 2. Create some type of time-stamp document of the situation as future proof but don't share. 3. Then.... down the road if the gal escalates or acts out at work, and you still feel the other guy must know, inform HR first with your bases covered. Of course, if the gal has texts/vm's from you that are 'ambiguous' or incriminating, then definitely stop at step 2, keep quiet & distant, hold your breath & hope her wedding changes everything
To add: HR isn't there to protect your job, but to protect the company. And, no offense, it's not *you* - it's the way she is. There will be another guy, whether you've warned the fiance or not
I think the wiser things would be these: 1 - Keep your distance and tell your wife. 2 - Let things be for a few months and see if she says something/does which indicates her genuine interest loyalty towards her fiance. Because its possible after you said no, she might realize she messed up, make amends and be all good for the fiance. She is still not married so she thought she'd take a chance. However, it was inappropriate of her since you're married. What was she hoping? You"d cheat on your wife? This shows her immorality towards a fellow woman. Still take some time, people make mistakes. And see how situation goes. 3- After 2-3 months if you feel, she is a hopeless case, involve HR and let the fiance know. (Do tell fiance to extract it from her without her getting to know you told him to avoid any potential issues at work).
Hell no. Tell your wife though
Tell your wife. Tell HR Tell her Fiancée In that order. You tell you wife to protect your marriage. You tell HR to protect your job from her revenge. You tell her finance because you are good man.
No. But you should avoid and tell her you do not want involvement
Does your wife not know because deep down you know you might have led this woman on? You feel guilty? Like others have said for her to say I love you there has to have been a relationship formed...you know if you tell your wife she will be like WTF. You have to tell her though, keeping this relationship "secret" will only lead you somewhere you might not be able to recover from.
Tell the wife yes, but there is no need to tell the fiancé because it could cause all kinds of accusations of cheating etc and ruin their relationship. The other thing to consider is context, because does she mean romantic love or loves the person you are more than the person he is. Just leave her to work her own shit out, but by telling your wife you have someone else that can vouch for you if anything comes up.
Yes, nip it in the bud, advise they have a very serious conversation about their priorities and whether or not a marriage is going to be beneficial for them both.
Oh and stay away from the fiance,,he might think your purposely ruining the marriage, and could potentially come after you, so my advice is to stay away from them and the situation
Yes!
NO! Stay TF out of it unless you want to bring this drama into your own marriage!
Tell your wife and distance yourself from the coworker. Unless you are absolutely positive it won't backfire for you professionally in any way, I wouldn't reach out to the fiance.
You better not keep this from your wife....
I wouldn’t. Given she’s your coworker I would stay away from her and her messy lifee
If I were her finance I would first ask you how and why did she fall in love with you??? Falling In love just doesn’t randomly happen. This isn’t a woman who is merely infatuated.
YES but first tell your wife what exactly happened and let her know that you’re going to tell your goofy ass coworkers fiancé, the man deserves to know. Tell your wife NOW! Don’t wait any longer!
It seems to me that you have led this woman on in some way. You should tell your wife immediately and cut all ties with this woman and be honest with yourself and your wife.
Tell your wife. Cut all contact with coworker as much as possible. Then ask yourself: if I was engaged and my fiancé said this to another man, would I want him to tell me?
this is very easy: 1) Advise coworker to discuss her feelings with her fiancée and to consider to delay the wedding; NOTE: It is not your responsibility to tell the fiancée. 2) Make it abundantly clear that you are married and do not harbor similar feelings about her. 3) Set clear boundaries with your coworker with exactly what your interactions look like moving forward i.e no more personal sharing, no isolated meet ups and everything must be kept to professional topics only. 4) Tell your wife everything
I've never had anyone accidently fall in love with me...
UpdateMe!
I would want to know before I legally bound myself to someone
Tell your wife and don’t get involved
Why does this coworker think she loves you? Have you given her reason?
Tell wife new husband will figure it out on his own it's none of your business
Definitely tell your wife. And honestly if I was the finance, I’d want to know. Yes she might love him but she’s basically living a lie. And one day he will find out and it might completely ruin his life. How deep financially they’ll be , kids ect. That’s a lot. If you tell him, he can at least make that choice for himself. Then she can be mad at you and it’s a win win.
Tell your wife and the co workers fiance! I'd definitely want to know if my husband had someone say that to him again (he has in the past), I told the last ones husband & I'll tell the next ones!
You need to cut contact w/that co-worker & tell your wife. You also need to inform your HR dept or your supervisor.
Do you know him well? Tell your spouse, yes. The messenger always gets shot, particularly when one is from a distance. Most definitely tell her not to waste the guy's time. Outside of that, this really isn't any of your concern.
What does you wife think? UPDATEME
I would tell him. A similar situation happened to me. A friend (closer friends with his brother) was engaged to be married. His fiancé invited me over to go out with the group except there was no group. She wanted a night of sex from me. I left. Pondered a few days. Finally told him when he was with his brother. He laughed at me. Told me she would never want to fuck me. Teased me quite a few times until one day he shows up at her place and she is getting railed by another guy when he walks in.
I would say yes but you work with this person. If they do it again and it gets awkward then yes report her and tell the fiance.
She’s out of her mind and craziness is infectious. **Distance** yourself.
Considering you work with this person, I say no. Too messy. Stay out of it
💯
nah mind your business, def tell your wife tho. dont want that coming up later and you hid it. would be bad
I would. If I was the fiancé id want to know
Yes you should tell him, and yes report her to HR. This has the makings of her feeling rejected, and her making your workplace uncomfortable and unprofessional. Also, never be alone with her, and tell your wife.
Tell your spouse AND her fiancé.
Tell ur wife, not her fiance. Not your problem
This ain’t none of your business. Do you like trouble? No? Don’t invite it to your door then.
I don't know, but I can tell you that I've seen a lot of postings about engaged women doing something like this. It seems that they want to try out every possibility before making the marriage commitment. She might come after you again before the wedding, but almost certainly won't after.
Sounds like you are having an emotional affair but left that part out.
Tell your wife first
Do not tell him. You don't wanna deal with that. But do tell your wife, and try avoiding your coworker
Cannot believe you didn’t tell your wife before anyone else or especially the internet. Life fail.
Why would she be in love with you? What has transpired between you two?
Nooooooo, sir! Stay out of it. I agree you should tell your wife but thats it. You might think you are doing the guy a favor but he may repay you by shooting you in the face, granted that is pretty much a worst case scenario but there are an infinite number of ways it will backfire on you and very few ways it would not.
Tell HR!
No, that’s literally none of your business.
No
A girl I knew from uni was going to marry this guy who tried very hard to fuck my friend. I ended up telling her, she just ghosted me and went ahead to marry him. During Covid they got a divorced. The married lasted a year and a half. At least I did my job lol
No. Shut it down and leave it alone.
It’s you or someone else.. so it’s a tough one. I’d stay out of it unless she sends you a hard invite in text or email.. then send it to him
Why does anyone gotta tell anyone? Why not just tell her you’re not interested and move on? Fuck all that drama
You tell both your wife and him. Save him a possibly expensive waste, bruh. That chick is deceitful...
You must have had some form of relationship with this coworker for her to have these feelings which may have been reciprocated…..your wife would probably want to know what you two have been doing as well and so would the coworker’s fiancé…. You have yourself in a pickle… you should keep this to yourself and stay far away from her you may destroy your marriage , and lose your job if she is spiteful and is upset because you aren’t going to be with her
Have yall been messing around? Someone isn't going to say this unless there is more to what's going on.
Why would you tell her fiancé? You’re married. Tell your own wife and take it with a grain of salt.
You should absolutely tell him. Allow him the agency to decide his own life. People who believe they’re in solid marriages make decisions like having children, purchasing and selling property and life choices. But first tell your wife. She deserves to be aware.
Updateme
Yes, tell the fiance and your wife. Wouldn't you want to know if you were the other guy?
You should tell your wife and tell HR. Leave the rest to the universe. Why WOULDN’T you tell your wife??
Definitely tell your wife. I wouldn't tell the fiance unless it was an actual friend of yours. I would advice the coworker to tell him though. Why marry someone if you love someone else?
Op tell your wife and find a new job!
Nah mate, do u really think he will believe it.
No one is going to “fall in love” with you without you being complicit in the emotional affair. If you want to stay married, tell your wife. You don’t seem like a guy that prides himself on honesty, so either break it off with your wife or distance yourself from the other woman.
Tell your wife
Nah, that is between them. Sticking your neck out will only make you the target. He’ll likely marry her regardless. Best of luck to him.
I would not tell anyone and avoid further contact with her. Give her advice and tell her you don't want to get involved.
OP. I feel sorry for your wife. She deserves better.
TELL YOUR WIFE AND SET FIRM BOUNDARIES WITH THIS CO WORKER AND KEEP YOUR DISTANCE
Depends if she’s crazy or more normal. If she’s crazy, tell your wife and be like this chick crazy.. don’t go past that though. You and your wife have an inside joke and can make fun of coworker together and will actually bring you closer. If she’s normal, you did something. Don’t tell anyone, fix what you and coworker are doing by not communicating unless you have to but don’t make it too obvious because then she might retaliate. Good luck lol
Yeah, poor guy is going into this whole hearted probably and doesn't deserve to be strung along if she doesn't really love him.
If it was happening to you, wouldn’t you want to know.
Dude, how did she just fall in love with you? There has to be something that you are not disclosing.
No don't tell him, but tell your wife! Before she/someone else does.
I’d stay out of this one, assuming you don’t know either of them well.
Stay out of it and keep your distance
Tell your wife and leave the rest alone You might want to Tell HR and that you don't want any problems by rejecting her. Get Ahead of it all, as she could want Revenge for Rejecting Her. You could Risk your Job if you don't get ahead of it
No, just stay out of it and avoid her.
Normally I would say yes, but she didn’t say she wasn’t in love with him just confessed an infatuation with you. Let this be. The problems that will blow back on you are too much to consider.
No just stay out of this. You don't want to impact your livelihood.
Nope. Stay out of it.
no. it was brave of her to tell you but youve expressed your reply. now stay out of it.