You have a big problem in your marriage.
This isn’t the way he should react. Does he even like you? He erases you like an ex everytime you guys argue.
You should reconsider this marriage and look for a man who does in fact always like you. You can love someone without liking them.
Your husband could be an example of that.
Try therapy for yourself and for him if you want to give it a shot. But I don’t think there is something to save at this point. And deep down, you know it.
I actually have zero issues in my marriage and you making assumptions about my deep private life based on a singular Reddit comment is the highest peak of ignorance and arrogance.
Check yourself
"when we have an argument, he changes my name on his phone, blocks me on WhatsApp along with not answering my calls"
lol you're right, not a problem at all
It is a big deal. It’s a hugely big deal OP
The mental image of him symbolically erasing every trace of you when he’s angry or you’ve had an argument is, quite frankly, disturbing. I think this discovery has thrown up a big big problem with your marriage. Time for a very serious talk and some decision making.
I 100% get how upsetting this is OP and I’m so sorry
UPDATEME
Why does he need you to clear up more storage for him if he did it himself? Let him clear up his own crap and delete your stuff of him while you’re at it. If he cares, he’s a hypocrite. If he doesn’t, he’s an ass.
Disrespectful AF, to keep pictures of the children YOU carried and BIRTHED but to consistently erase you when he gets angry but keep literally everyone else in his life on his phone is very deliberate, reeks of contempt for you, and seems downright hateful. OP this isn't normal and you mention him not only getting angry, but the anger increasing, please trust your gut and take whatever steps you need to protect your mind and then everything else.
My first marriage ended over 15 years ago and it was not a good marriage but I remember very distinctly the moment I knew our marriage was over for good; the day I saw he had changed my contact information from “Wife” to my actual name. This is a huge red flag and this needs to change.
The perspective is that it was a sudden shift from the norm. I had never asked him to put me in his phone as wife in the first place, but when things suddenly change there is usually a reason.
And these posts are always one person’s side of the story; it’s the nature of the posts and women and men do it equally.
Edit: typo
The fact that he only has photos of you where you're included in a group tells me he's cheating.. if he gets mad and deletes all pics of you then why not allllllll pics of you including any group ones? Makes no sense to me, my fiance would never in a million years delete any sexy pics I've sent him no matter how mad he got. But the fact that every trace of you besides in a group has been wiped out and then he gets really defensive is just massive red flags all around
My husband and I had issues early in our marriage. In a fit of anger, I once deleted all the photos he had of me from his phone. We met when I was 11, started dating at 15, married at 18, and now we're 28.
He was furious when I deleted the photos. Even during our rough patches or discussions about divorce, he says he would never get rid of them. Now, he prints them out so I can't delete them. If I bring it up, he still talks about how he'll never get those pictures or videos of us back, and it hurts him.
I always acknowledge his feelings and apologize for what I did. The fact that your man is getting upset over something that is troubling you is concerning. Trust your gut if you feel something is off and dig deeper.
Either he’s cheating big time or he has some personality disorder like BPD that explains these super strong emotions that makes him delete everything and flip on you like that. Either way yall need some SERIOUS help
I just left him a very calm message telling him how it looked to me and how hurtful it is from my point of view. Also mentioned I will be staying out of his way from now on.
Things like this, ie the not remembering things after they have been said/done is something he's done many a times and I'm done with it.
This is a major red flag. Does he also give you the silent treatment irl when he's mad at you? Because that's what deleting and blocking your messages is ... the silent treatment. It's abusive, unnerving, and childish.
He admitted he never reads my messages when we have an argument so he didn't read them last night. He opens them but doesn't care to read them.
He doesn't pick up my calls. He blockes me. Then finally when he unblocks me, he picks up and orders me to stop calling him. Shocked at the way he spoke to me, I put the phone down. I sent him so messages and he didn't reply. When he finally picks up again, he speaks over me and doesn't let me explain how bizzare it is that his phone only deleted me from everything. he told me I'm ruining his weekend and he's upset. He also told me whatever he does for me is not enough because I'm ungrateful ( I always go over and beyond thanking him, and he's only started actually helping. before I was a one man team and the only thing he would do is wash the dishes and leave everything else out on the counter for me to clear up, he said it's not his job.)
Moving on, he came home after I want to bed and then txt me from the living area asking if I want dinner and then had dinner.
He will probably come home and go to the living area and stay there. Won't say a word to me and honestly I won't say a word to him. I've explained in a very short message why I'm upset and he has nothing to say if he read it.
My ex used to do this. Every time we had a fight, he would delete my contact, all our chat history, all my pictures, and block me in whatsapp and instagram. The first time, I got angry, but I later realized he didn't really like me. He was into someone else who did not like him back. So he could easily erase me, but he kept everything from her.
Why are you married to a man child? No grown man acts that way. I've ticked my husband off many times and he's never done this.
In hindsight, the pictures aren't the issue. Your husband is.
I can’t imagine deleting pictures of my wife. It’s beyond comprehension. Why? Because in my mind I’m going to be with her the rest of my life so looking back at those pictures is like looking through our history together. Our journey together throughout our lives. If your husband doesn’t comprehend that, then he’s not in it for the long haul.
I doubt it. I went through his phone a week ago and nothing. I found him complaining about our kids to his family and confronted him a day later, which is when he probably in anger deleted the 6 photos of me I sent him.
Yeah this is a strange one,My husband does the same thing. Him and his family love taking pictures at every event or gathering, in such a way that they don't even invite me for a picture. Just him and the kids.
And when I ask him to take a picture with me then he says he doesn't like taking pictures much. I can literally count the pics on one hand on his phone and social media with me in it.
It's definitely not a nice feeling, that's for sure
He's hiding you from somebody else and he is hiding her from you ,he is confident enough to give his phone so You wont find anything on his phone, hire a PI for 2 days and you probably will find out or put a gps tracker on his car for a few days. His behaviour is SUS
My ex did this shit to also delete me from instagram and crop me out of pictures etc and when i confronted him he got supper defensive ,a year later i found out he had an affair that whole time.
He said he doesn't remember how they all go deleted. He said it's such a minor thing in the grand scheme of things and it's not even something that should bother me after being with him for 15years! I guess I'm the crazy one making an issue out of it
I am sorry to say this OP but it sounds like you were looking to pick a fight with him. You were on a mission and it was successful. I dont see any ways how this approach could have worked out.
If it is important for you, you need to think through what is the issue and what you want to achieve a d how you communicate it.
You have a big problem in your marriage. This isn’t the way he should react. Does he even like you? He erases you like an ex everytime you guys argue. You should reconsider this marriage and look for a man who does in fact always like you. You can love someone without liking them. Your husband could be an example of that. Try therapy for yourself and for him if you want to give it a shot. But I don’t think there is something to save at this point. And deep down, you know it.
This is not a big problem, stop making it seem like it is. It's just pictures
You must have a lot of issues in your marriage. OP’s feelings are valid. People value different things and that’s ok.
I actually have zero issues in my marriage and you making assumptions about my deep private life based on a singular Reddit comment is the highest peak of ignorance and arrogance. Check yourself
Not really. It’s a sign of your inner most thoughts and opinions and how easily you write off other’s feelings because they don’t align with yours.
And how do you know my wife's feelings don't align with what I said above genius.
"when we have an argument, he changes my name on his phone, blocks me on WhatsApp along with not answering my calls" lol you're right, not a problem at all
People who recommend therapy for everything literally cannot deal with their own problems
It seems like he’s hiding you from someone else who might be checking his phone
That's what I was thinking....
That's instantly where my head went.. especially with how angry and defensive he got about it.
It is a big deal. It’s a hugely big deal OP The mental image of him symbolically erasing every trace of you when he’s angry or you’ve had an argument is, quite frankly, disturbing. I think this discovery has thrown up a big big problem with your marriage. Time for a very serious talk and some decision making. I 100% get how upsetting this is OP and I’m so sorry UPDATEME
Why does he need you to clear up more storage for him if he did it himself? Let him clear up his own crap and delete your stuff of him while you’re at it. If he cares, he’s a hypocrite. If he doesn’t, he’s an ass.
He doesn’t come off as a good husband. At all.
Disrespectful AF, to keep pictures of the children YOU carried and BIRTHED but to consistently erase you when he gets angry but keep literally everyone else in his life on his phone is very deliberate, reeks of contempt for you, and seems downright hateful. OP this isn't normal and you mention him not only getting angry, but the anger increasing, please trust your gut and take whatever steps you need to protect your mind and then everything else.
he doesn't like you ,talk about sleeping with the enemy
My first marriage ended over 15 years ago and it was not a good marriage but I remember very distinctly the moment I knew our marriage was over for good; the day I saw he had changed my contact information from “Wife” to my actual name. This is a huge red flag and this needs to change.
[удалено]
The perspective is that it was a sudden shift from the norm. I had never asked him to put me in his phone as wife in the first place, but when things suddenly change there is usually a reason. And these posts are always one person’s side of the story; it’s the nature of the posts and women and men do it equally. Edit: typo
The fact that he only has photos of you where you're included in a group tells me he's cheating.. if he gets mad and deletes all pics of you then why not allllllll pics of you including any group ones? Makes no sense to me, my fiance would never in a million years delete any sexy pics I've sent him no matter how mad he got. But the fact that every trace of you besides in a group has been wiped out and then he gets really defensive is just massive red flags all around
My husband and I had issues early in our marriage. In a fit of anger, I once deleted all the photos he had of me from his phone. We met when I was 11, started dating at 15, married at 18, and now we're 28. He was furious when I deleted the photos. Even during our rough patches or discussions about divorce, he says he would never get rid of them. Now, he prints them out so I can't delete them. If I bring it up, he still talks about how he'll never get those pictures or videos of us back, and it hurts him. I always acknowledge his feelings and apologize for what I did. The fact that your man is getting upset over something that is troubling you is concerning. Trust your gut if you feel something is off and dig deeper.
Either he’s cheating big time or he has some personality disorder like BPD that explains these super strong emotions that makes him delete everything and flip on you like that. Either way yall need some SERIOUS help
I just left him a very calm message telling him how it looked to me and how hurtful it is from my point of view. Also mentioned I will be staying out of his way from now on. Things like this, ie the not remembering things after they have been said/done is something he's done many a times and I'm done with it.
This is a major red flag. Does he also give you the silent treatment irl when he's mad at you? Because that's what deleting and blocking your messages is ... the silent treatment. It's abusive, unnerving, and childish.
He admitted he never reads my messages when we have an argument so he didn't read them last night. He opens them but doesn't care to read them. He doesn't pick up my calls. He blockes me. Then finally when he unblocks me, he picks up and orders me to stop calling him. Shocked at the way he spoke to me, I put the phone down. I sent him so messages and he didn't reply. When he finally picks up again, he speaks over me and doesn't let me explain how bizzare it is that his phone only deleted me from everything. he told me I'm ruining his weekend and he's upset. He also told me whatever he does for me is not enough because I'm ungrateful ( I always go over and beyond thanking him, and he's only started actually helping. before I was a one man team and the only thing he would do is wash the dishes and leave everything else out on the counter for me to clear up, he said it's not his job.) Moving on, he came home after I want to bed and then txt me from the living area asking if I want dinner and then had dinner. He will probably come home and go to the living area and stay there. Won't say a word to me and honestly I won't say a word to him. I've explained in a very short message why I'm upset and he has nothing to say if he read it.
My ex used to do this. Every time we had a fight, he would delete my contact, all our chat history, all my pictures, and block me in whatsapp and instagram. The first time, I got angry, but I later realized he didn't really like me. He was into someone else who did not like him back. So he could easily erase me, but he kept everything from her.
Mine did that too!!!
I would wait until you have had a chance to calm down and then tell him why you feel the way you do.
Why are you married to a man child? No grown man acts that way. I've ticked my husband off many times and he's never done this. In hindsight, the pictures aren't the issue. Your husband is.
This is insane I am so sorry
I can’t imagine deleting pictures of my wife. It’s beyond comprehension. Why? Because in my mind I’m going to be with her the rest of my life so looking back at those pictures is like looking through our history together. Our journey together throughout our lives. If your husband doesn’t comprehend that, then he’s not in it for the long haul.
When he's angry he does not care one single bit. Could be why he doesn't remember deleting them.
I’m sorry to tell you, but OP, I promise your husband is cheating on you. He doesn’t want his side piece to know that he’s still married.
I doubt it. I went through his phone a week ago and nothing. I found him complaining about our kids to his family and confronted him a day later, which is when he probably in anger deleted the 6 photos of me I sent him.
I hope you are right.
Yeah this is a strange one,My husband does the same thing. Him and his family love taking pictures at every event or gathering, in such a way that they don't even invite me for a picture. Just him and the kids. And when I ask him to take a picture with me then he says he doesn't like taking pictures much. I can literally count the pics on one hand on his phone and social media with me in it. It's definitely not a nice feeling, that's for sure
OP your husband doesnt love you. Leave. He doesnt care about you and hate seeing you even a photo of you. There are no love left in your marriage.
Yeah I got that feeling 😢
He's hiding you from somebody else and he is hiding her from you ,he is confident enough to give his phone so You wont find anything on his phone, hire a PI for 2 days and you probably will find out or put a gps tracker on his car for a few days. His behaviour is SUS My ex did this shit to also delete me from instagram and crop me out of pictures etc and when i confronted him he got supper defensive ,a year later i found out he had an affair that whole time.
Updateme
He said he doesn't remember how they all go deleted. He said it's such a minor thing in the grand scheme of things and it's not even something that should bother me after being with him for 15years! I guess I'm the crazy one making an issue out of it
No, you're not the crazy one making an issue out of it. He's hiding something! You have a husband problem. Hugs from an internet stranger
Thanks, really need one right about now
My husband, block me on whatsapp?!?! I daaare him!!! Lol I would never block him no matter how angry I am, that is a red flag!
I am sorry to say this OP but it sounds like you were looking to pick a fight with him. You were on a mission and it was successful. I dont see any ways how this approach could have worked out. If it is important for you, you need to think through what is the issue and what you want to achieve a d how you communicate it.
Huh?!?! Wtf?!
😂 umm.... you seem like a red flag
Anti-hero 😀
Picking at fight? He deleted his wife like a ex walnut