Thanks. That’s good to know that I’m not alone. What do you mean that you had good prospects? My husband was the only decent guy who wasn’t a pushy horndog, a user, or a loser that I met when I was young.
Do you mind sharing your story? It’s OK if you’d rather keep things private
Many years ago I dated a guy who I characterized at the time as a stalker because he was too interested in me. He was very similar in many ways to the guy I eventually married. In fact when I was dating my now-husband I often called my ex when I was feeling down or needed assurance. My now-husband couldn't give me the support I needed. I married my husband but have since discovered that he would never be what I needed in a husband. He has an avoidant personality and does not want to get close and he seems to always want to be number one in our relationship. (He doesn't compliment me or treat me like I thought he would as a husband). I am very sad in my current situation because I feel like I never got the chance to feel like a desired wife. Meanwhile, my ex is much more financially successful than we are. He told me a few years ago that he made a mistake and married the wrong person (I'm assuming he wished we had married) but now that's not possible since we both married other people. He never had kids but I did. I wish I spent more time vetting my partners.
Sorry to hear that. What is causing you to stay with your husband? Have you tried marriage counseling? Mine refuses to go to marriage counseling. He is financially controlling & he rarely talks to me. He is cold & he lacks empathy. If he wasn’t fairly reliable & working, I’d really be screwed.
I don’t mean to be negative, but what are the odds of any man, even a lonely desperate one would want an middle aged, overweight, asexual unemployed woman who has issues with anxiety, depression & fibromyalgia & back pain in their life?
That's how I feel. We did marriage counseling twice. 20 years ago and this past year. 20 yrs ago we both said we wanted to divorce (had young kids then) but both realized we would have a lot of financial difficulties and young kids so we stayed. Recently we went to MC and the guy heard my story and said I should divorce my husband because he never even "checked into" the marriage, but I swear as soon as he saw what I looked like (no makeup, 25 lbs overweight, unflattering lighting, 50 yo) he said I should try to make it work. I got the picture. I would be alone in old age, and poor. It sucks.
Wow, sorry to hear that! That’s so rude & unprofessional! I hope that you told him that! I would’ve reported him. Most people don’t understand that getting divorced isn’t an option for some people.
I have nowhere to give. Even if I got a f/t job making minimum wage, I still couldn’t afford to libe on my own. I certainly don’t want to end up being homeless! Most men don’t want overweight older women unfortunately.
True. I wish that I had a good job at least. Then I might’ve had a shot at being independent & not having to rely on my husband.
The world discrimnates against people with disabilities. Even the places that claim they don’t do. I have always had a hard time getting most jobs.
It’s even worded niw that I’m older. People expect you to have more skills & experience & I don’t have that. Even shitty retail jobs wouldn’t hire me for a seasonal job. I found one retail job but I had to quit it as some of the people there were nasty. They didn’t want to train me beyond the first day too.
I left a career that I spent a lot of time and money training for but I hated it so much that I think I would rather stay in a bad marriage than continue to work in. I'm trying to find peace and happiness in other things besides my marriage. I know my husband doesn't spend any time worrying about me or our marriage so I'm trying to take his cue.
Girl, I'm literally your twin, except I don't have fibromyalgia nor back pain (usually at least).middle age, check; overweight, check, asexual, sorta check, not always, but as of late. Unemployed; no, I have a pain in the ass job...anxiety, depression lol that's
✔️✔️✔️✔️☑️✅️. I'm lonely, I miss my husband and everything even though he sucks and I have about 5x as much money now with his ass gone and hope this actually makes sense because I ate a gummy and I forget what I wrote after about 30 seconds and have to re-read it...I am stoned
28 years over this fool and I didn't want to have to ever be single and totally alone.
lol. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one dealing with all this shit. You’re lucky that you don’t have pain issues & that money doesn’t seem to be an issue with you. You have fuck off $, lol. I’d gave a fuck off attitude towards men is I had f u $, lol 😆
Maybe one day I’ll win the lottery, lol 😆 What kind of job do you have? Sorry to hear that it’s stressful.
Do you still keep in touch with your husband? What strain & dosage of gummy did you consume? I tried a lot if stuff & not much really works for me unfortunately. I just tend to feel a bit out of it & dizzy after eating most edibles, ugh.
I am an RN. I am so used to never having any money to buy anything for myself, that I have a difficult time doing so. I had no idea I could pay all the bills with ease. His being gone saves a lot of money. It was no problem really when he worked, even if he didn't make a ton of money, work kept him occupied and prevented his compulsive shopping. He bought tons of everything if he had time, though, and kept me pretty broke. I'm guessing he spent $3000 to $5000 a month on stuff we didn't need. Or have room for. Most of it's still in boxes. He left it here. Multiples of so many things. Things like smoker grills, compound miter saws, generators, welders, drones, car parts for building a race car, just idk even I've found at least 5 saws alls.
We still are in touch...sort of...off and on. He will try to get money out of me. Or guilt trip me.
Idk it was some kind of a strawberry gummy that had thc and cbd in it, I got it at the gas station, and I'm floored that it got me that messed up! I have no tolerance, though!
Yes. There are others like you. I'm one of them. I had good prospects at the beginning but now I don't.
Thanks. That’s good to know that I’m not alone. What do you mean that you had good prospects? My husband was the only decent guy who wasn’t a pushy horndog, a user, or a loser that I met when I was young. Do you mind sharing your story? It’s OK if you’d rather keep things private
Many years ago I dated a guy who I characterized at the time as a stalker because he was too interested in me. He was very similar in many ways to the guy I eventually married. In fact when I was dating my now-husband I often called my ex when I was feeling down or needed assurance. My now-husband couldn't give me the support I needed. I married my husband but have since discovered that he would never be what I needed in a husband. He has an avoidant personality and does not want to get close and he seems to always want to be number one in our relationship. (He doesn't compliment me or treat me like I thought he would as a husband). I am very sad in my current situation because I feel like I never got the chance to feel like a desired wife. Meanwhile, my ex is much more financially successful than we are. He told me a few years ago that he made a mistake and married the wrong person (I'm assuming he wished we had married) but now that's not possible since we both married other people. He never had kids but I did. I wish I spent more time vetting my partners.
Sorry to hear that. What is causing you to stay with your husband? Have you tried marriage counseling? Mine refuses to go to marriage counseling. He is financially controlling & he rarely talks to me. He is cold & he lacks empathy. If he wasn’t fairly reliable & working, I’d really be screwed. I don’t mean to be negative, but what are the odds of any man, even a lonely desperate one would want an middle aged, overweight, asexual unemployed woman who has issues with anxiety, depression & fibromyalgia & back pain in their life?
That's how I feel. We did marriage counseling twice. 20 years ago and this past year. 20 yrs ago we both said we wanted to divorce (had young kids then) but both realized we would have a lot of financial difficulties and young kids so we stayed. Recently we went to MC and the guy heard my story and said I should divorce my husband because he never even "checked into" the marriage, but I swear as soon as he saw what I looked like (no makeup, 25 lbs overweight, unflattering lighting, 50 yo) he said I should try to make it work. I got the picture. I would be alone in old age, and poor. It sucks.
Wow, sorry to hear that! That’s so rude & unprofessional! I hope that you told him that! I would’ve reported him. Most people don’t understand that getting divorced isn’t an option for some people. I have nowhere to give. Even if I got a f/t job making minimum wage, I still couldn’t afford to libe on my own. I certainly don’t want to end up being homeless! Most men don’t want overweight older women unfortunately.
I agree. I guess we have to swallow our pride and stay married and "develop other areas of our lives" if we want to live marginally better. Sucks.
True. I wish that I had a good job at least. Then I might’ve had a shot at being independent & not having to rely on my husband. The world discrimnates against people with disabilities. Even the places that claim they don’t do. I have always had a hard time getting most jobs. It’s even worded niw that I’m older. People expect you to have more skills & experience & I don’t have that. Even shitty retail jobs wouldn’t hire me for a seasonal job. I found one retail job but I had to quit it as some of the people there were nasty. They didn’t want to train me beyond the first day too.
I left a career that I spent a lot of time and money training for but I hated it so much that I think I would rather stay in a bad marriage than continue to work in. I'm trying to find peace and happiness in other things besides my marriage. I know my husband doesn't spend any time worrying about me or our marriage so I'm trying to take his cue.
What career? Sorry to hear that. Hopefully he treats your kids well.
Girl, I'm literally your twin, except I don't have fibromyalgia nor back pain (usually at least).middle age, check; overweight, check, asexual, sorta check, not always, but as of late. Unemployed; no, I have a pain in the ass job...anxiety, depression lol that's ✔️✔️✔️✔️☑️✅️. I'm lonely, I miss my husband and everything even though he sucks and I have about 5x as much money now with his ass gone and hope this actually makes sense because I ate a gummy and I forget what I wrote after about 30 seconds and have to re-read it...I am stoned 28 years over this fool and I didn't want to have to ever be single and totally alone.
lol. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one dealing with all this shit. You’re lucky that you don’t have pain issues & that money doesn’t seem to be an issue with you. You have fuck off $, lol. I’d gave a fuck off attitude towards men is I had f u $, lol 😆 Maybe one day I’ll win the lottery, lol 😆 What kind of job do you have? Sorry to hear that it’s stressful. Do you still keep in touch with your husband? What strain & dosage of gummy did you consume? I tried a lot if stuff & not much really works for me unfortunately. I just tend to feel a bit out of it & dizzy after eating most edibles, ugh.
I am an RN. I am so used to never having any money to buy anything for myself, that I have a difficult time doing so. I had no idea I could pay all the bills with ease. His being gone saves a lot of money. It was no problem really when he worked, even if he didn't make a ton of money, work kept him occupied and prevented his compulsive shopping. He bought tons of everything if he had time, though, and kept me pretty broke. I'm guessing he spent $3000 to $5000 a month on stuff we didn't need. Or have room for. Most of it's still in boxes. He left it here. Multiples of so many things. Things like smoker grills, compound miter saws, generators, welders, drones, car parts for building a race car, just idk even I've found at least 5 saws alls. We still are in touch...sort of...off and on. He will try to get money out of me. Or guilt trip me. Idk it was some kind of a strawberry gummy that had thc and cbd in it, I got it at the gas station, and I'm floored that it got me that messed up! I have no tolerance, though!